Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 29, 2020 20:39:24 GMT -5
*News-esq trumpet..y music hits in a dark studio as the lights come on and the camera zooms in on a new set featuring Nelly Angel. He sits on a large black box, next to him the logo for the show, “XHF Network Off-Air” is prominently displayed.*
Nelly: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I’m Nelly Angel and I’m here with a new segment called, “XHF Network: Off-Air.” A show that looks at what happens when the cameras aren’t catching all the action.
*He turns to face another camera which picks him up immediately.*
Nelly: Tonight we’re looking at a mystery that has plagued the internet since Supremacy this last Sunday. No doubt most of you watching at home were delighted as myself and Swann faced off in a rather hardcore barbed wire deathmatch. The match itself came about after Swann and myself lost in a tag-team exhibition match and he took umbrage. Blaming me despite barely spending time in the ring, we decided to work out our issues and the higher ups put us in such a violent match.
*Quick turn to another camera as the screen that had the logo before now shows still pictures from the match- oddly mostly Brad Swann eating it in some form or another.*
Nelly: No matter how many times Brad Swann hit the barbed wire and had explosives fired into his back, he kept coming back almost with an increase aggression. It was an impressive show of will from him and I kept up as well- so well that we ended up going to a time limit draw.
*He gestures to the screen which plays the ending of the match in slow motion. On the slow-mo video is both a counter for the match limit and the ref’s count. We can see that right at 00:00 the ref’s hand is about to come down for the third count.*
Nelly: Stop, right there. As you can see the match was incredibly close, but that’s actually not why we’re watching this. You see, in the next moment…
*The footage continues and the whole ring HOLY CRAP IT ALL EXPLODES! Pyros are everywhere and when the smoke clears there’s…only Nelly?*
Nelly: What an ending! But what a mystery! After the explosions fired, Brad Swann straight up disappeared. Where did he go?
*New camera angle.*
Nelly: Some think I was laying on top of him. I mean, a lot of that time is a blur to me now; but it seems unlikely as Swann and I are built differently and you’d likely be able to see a human sandwich better than the camera is showing.
*He spins to another camera.*
Nelly: Others suggest that maybe he rolled out of the ring. Perhaps, but with the explosives lining the ring that would have been a very dangerous gambit on his part.
*He quick-turns to yet another camera.*
Nelly: Still others suggest that perhaps Brad Swann really is a demon and simply used his demonic powers to zap himself out of that situation.
*Back to the main camera.*
Nelly: Will we ever truly know what happened to Brad Swann? Probably. I mean, he’s scheduled to be at the next episode of Voltage- which by the way features me taking on the young buck known as Yosuke Kabuto- whose name means “To Assist Helmet”- I looked it up. Perhaps the young hard-head will assist me as we try to solve the mystery of what happened to Brad Swann…
*The screen behind Nelly shows Brad’s ugly gnarly face with the gross eye then puts a large question mark over said face.*
Nelly: …Or we’ll put on a great match for all the fans to see. OH OH! Maybe both! Until Voltage, friends, keep those cameras rolling!
*He points to the camera as he signs off the show and the music plays and the lights fade back out…then the camera also fades.*
Nelly: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I’m Nelly Angel and I’m here with a new segment called, “XHF Network: Off-Air.” A show that looks at what happens when the cameras aren’t catching all the action.
*He turns to face another camera which picks him up immediately.*
Nelly: Tonight we’re looking at a mystery that has plagued the internet since Supremacy this last Sunday. No doubt most of you watching at home were delighted as myself and Swann faced off in a rather hardcore barbed wire deathmatch. The match itself came about after Swann and myself lost in a tag-team exhibition match and he took umbrage. Blaming me despite barely spending time in the ring, we decided to work out our issues and the higher ups put us in such a violent match.
*Quick turn to another camera as the screen that had the logo before now shows still pictures from the match- oddly mostly Brad Swann eating it in some form or another.*
Nelly: No matter how many times Brad Swann hit the barbed wire and had explosives fired into his back, he kept coming back almost with an increase aggression. It was an impressive show of will from him and I kept up as well- so well that we ended up going to a time limit draw.
*He gestures to the screen which plays the ending of the match in slow motion. On the slow-mo video is both a counter for the match limit and the ref’s count. We can see that right at 00:00 the ref’s hand is about to come down for the third count.*
Nelly: Stop, right there. As you can see the match was incredibly close, but that’s actually not why we’re watching this. You see, in the next moment…
*The footage continues and the whole ring HOLY CRAP IT ALL EXPLODES! Pyros are everywhere and when the smoke clears there’s…only Nelly?*
Nelly: What an ending! But what a mystery! After the explosions fired, Brad Swann straight up disappeared. Where did he go?
*New camera angle.*
Nelly: Some think I was laying on top of him. I mean, a lot of that time is a blur to me now; but it seems unlikely as Swann and I are built differently and you’d likely be able to see a human sandwich better than the camera is showing.
*He spins to another camera.*
Nelly: Others suggest that maybe he rolled out of the ring. Perhaps, but with the explosives lining the ring that would have been a very dangerous gambit on his part.
*He quick-turns to yet another camera.*
Nelly: Still others suggest that perhaps Brad Swann really is a demon and simply used his demonic powers to zap himself out of that situation.
*Back to the main camera.*
Nelly: Will we ever truly know what happened to Brad Swann? Probably. I mean, he’s scheduled to be at the next episode of Voltage- which by the way features me taking on the young buck known as Yosuke Kabuto- whose name means “To Assist Helmet”- I looked it up. Perhaps the young hard-head will assist me as we try to solve the mystery of what happened to Brad Swann…
*The screen behind Nelly shows Brad’s ugly gnarly face with the gross eye then puts a large question mark over said face.*
Nelly: …Or we’ll put on a great match for all the fans to see. OH OH! Maybe both! Until Voltage, friends, keep those cameras rolling!
*He points to the camera as he signs off the show and the music plays and the lights fade back out…then the camera also fades.*