Season Two: The Anticlimactic *Mid-Season Finale
Jul 3, 2020 17:07:50 GMT -5
via mobile
Mongo the Destroyer, Curtis D. Kanyon, and 4 more like this
Post by Venom đź•· on Jul 3, 2020 17:07:50 GMT -5
Somewhere in America
Until they come to get us I guess? We could kill some time by playing a game.
A game?
Yeah sure. Let's play I Spy. My kids used to love this game. I'll go first. I Spy something green.
It's a tree.
Damn you're good. Your turn.
Velez rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to his iPhone.
Somewhere in the woods near the Nevada and California boarder
(You've done what you can to protect us Goldy, but you killed two of them and now they are coming after you. You have to go.)
Goldbear II: RAWR.
(I can't leave you.)
Bear: RAAAAWR.
(You have to. There's nothing left for you to do hear except die.)
Goldbear II: RAAAAAAAAWR.
(Well I don't want to die. Peace bitch.)
Bear: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!
(What did you just call me fucker?!?! I will come after you for child support. Where are you going? Don't walk away from me while I'm talking to you!)
Goldbear II turned away mid-sentence and walked off camera.
LIVE! Prerecorded from Venom’s gym in Atlanta, Georgia the 7th edition of the GUN Show, July 4th, 2020.
Magnus: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of The Gun Show, tonight I bring you all the Guns’ representative for Overheated, and quite possibly our next X*Crown Champion, from Bristol, England, Rob Arnold!
"St Patrick" by PVRIS begins to play across the gym.
"You give me something to talk about (something to talk about), HEY."
The song bursts into life, and Rob Arnold slowly enters, dressed in ring gear and an all black hoodie which restricts the view of his face, he surveys his surroundings and offering little but a trademark smirk he places his right foot forward and takes to a knee and then flings back his hood with his right hand. Arnold stares straight ahead towards the ring once more, before slowly standing up and making his way to the ring.
"I know it's chemicals, that make me cling to you (cling to you)
Oh and I need a miracle, to get away from you (way from you)
I know it's chemicals (that make me cling to you, cling to you)
And I need a miracle (to make me stay with you, stay with you)
And I'm not spiritual (but please stay)
'Cause I think you're a saint, and I think you're an angel."
Rob approaches the ring and runs his hand along the apron before approaching and walking up the steps, and then through the ropes and into the ring.
"I said ooh, oooh, you give me something to talk about (something to talk about)
I said ooh, oooh, you give me something to think about, that's not the shit in my head
You're a miracle
You're a miracle (a miracle)"
Arnold heads straight for the opposite corner and removes his hoodie, ready for action. He stares at Magnus who remains in the middle of the ring.
Magnus: And his opponent…
He pauses and his face drops.
Magnus: ...uh…
Rob notices something is amiss and spins Magnus around.
Arnold: Magnus, where’s my opponent?
Magnus: Uh...be right back. Just need to go find someo- I mean, him.
Magnus rolls out the ring and springs towards the back, Rob leans over the ropes and shouts after him.
Arnold: Are you kidding me?
Arnold throws himself back and then paces around the ring like a caged tiger. It’s not long before Magnus suddenly reappears, visibly sweating and is walking down towards the ring.
Magnus: And his opponent…
Japanese music begins to play, and Magnus rolls back into the ring but keeps his distance from Arnold.
Magnus: ...From Japan, he is Ken the Box!
Ken the Box wobbles down to the ring, Rob Arnold goes to corner Magnus but he has once again rolled out of the ring, this time to go to the commentary desk.
Magnus: Well here we are folks, Rob Arnold, former XHF Heavyweight Champion, former X*Crown Champion, up against...uh...Ken the Box...who is a former...uh...well he’s...he’s a box folks!
Ken has finally got into the ring, and shuffles into the opposite corner to Rob. Magnus leans over from his commentary position and rings the bell. Rob stares at Magnus once more and shakes his head, before turning to Ken the Box. They approach each other and Arnold actually engages Ken with a standard tie up. He pushes Ken into the corner and follows up with a European uppercut, Ken wobbles forward in shock and Arnold watches him wobble past him, his look of disgust still all over his face, and the follows Ken to the middle of the ring before grabbing him and hitting a German Suplex.
Magnus: A European uppercut and a German suplex from Arnold, ironic since I’m sure the Brits are meant to be leaving Europe!
Arnold gets back up and starts stalking the fallen Box. He looks like he wants to apply the ankle lock, however the key problem for him here is that Ken seems to have no ankles, given that he’s just a box. Frustrated he looks back at Magnus at commentary.
Arnold: Seriously Magnus, a box? A fucking box? Was there not an actual human being back there? Fake Mongo, Beeeeeeeeef, a Tron, a Borg, anybody?
Magnus shrugs back at Rob. Who has completely lost interest in Ken the Box, who has actually got back to his upright box position. Arnold continues to shout names at Magnus that he would rather be facing than Ken. However Ken has now shuffled right up behind him and begins to pummel on Arnolds back.
Magnus: Arnold seemingly distracted here and Ken the Box’s offence has started! Hitting Rob with...er...flailing arms.
These arms are not really that effective, and Rob turns to face Ken, who hasn’t really stopped flailing, most of the time not even really gaining contact. Having had enough, Rob pushes Ken back a couple steps before hitting the Plunge Into Darkness. Ken slumps into the mat and Arnold stands up again. He nods at Magnus who quickly gets the hint.
Magnus: I think Rob’s looking to end this, excuse me folks!
Arnold is indeed looking to end this and stalks Ken, who has rolled onto his box-stomach in order to try and get up, he doesn’t get that far however, as Rob steps forward and hits the Shattered Ice. Magnus rolls into the ring as Rob makes the cover...1...2….3!
Magnus: Here is your winner, Rob Arnold!
“St Patrick” plays once more as Rob stands back up, Magnus goes to raise his arm in victory, but decides Rob’s far too pissed off for that to be a good idea.
Somewhere in America
Backdrop Driver.
Cobra Clutch.
Drop kick.
E? Shit. Emerald Fusion?
Front Facelock
Green mist.
That's the best you've got for G?
German Suplex.
Better. Headlock.
The two continue the game as we fade out. How long will they wait?
A train?
LIVE! Prerecorded from Venom’s gym in Atlanta, Georgia the 7th edition of the GUN Show, July 4th, 2020.
Magnus: Welcome everyone to another star studded night of action! …Stars not included… On tonights show, we have the Borgs, again, versus another up and coming group that hopefully won’t get horribly injured like their last few opponents. Just letting you know that since I’m announcing over a pre-recording… outlook not so good! Let’s go to the ring where I am standing by!
Ring announcer Magnus is in the center of the ring, holding the microphone above his head with his robotic left arm on his right side.
: Ladies and gentlemen, the first, last, and only match of the evening is a special six man challenge! Introducing first… The Borgs!
"Am I Evil" by Metallica hits the speakers and the stage fills with mist. Strobe lights go on all throughout the arena. Mecha Gold-Bear IV emerges from the mist with Evil-Borg riding on his back. Heavymetal-Borg come out next to them, air guitaring to the music. Mecha Gold-bear IV marches ominously toward the ring as Evil Borg cackles with evil laughter of evilness. Heavy Metal throws up the devil horns. Mecha Gold-bear IV reaches ringside and turns on his rocket boots to fly a few feet in the air and lands in the ring. Evil gives Mecha Gold-bear IV a pat on the head and climbs down. Evil grabs a microphone.
: Who dared to challenge us and our right to creating… THE AFTERWARD!? They shall rue this day! There will be a recko—
?: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH ATLANTA! DON’T YOU DARE BE SOUR! CLAP FOR YOUR NEW HEROES TO VANQUISH THE BORGS, AND FEEEEEEEEEL THE POWAAAAAAAH!
”It’s a Contemporary Twenty Four Hours, yes it!” shouts over the P.A., and then some gospel-ish music plays as three men emerge from the entryway. I bet you’re thinking they’re black. Well stop being racist asshole, we don’t see colors here! One of them has a trumpet, and is playing along with the music while gyrating his hips. Another is throwing waffles at the crowd. And the third is skipping around clapping his hands.
: And their opponents… Coffee Kinison, Xander Forest, and Huge D! They are… Contemporary Twenty Four Hours! That’s a long weird name, but whatever. This match will be tornado tag rules!
Magnus removes his jacket to reveal his ref shirt and calls for the bell. Xander dives at Evil Borg with an elbow, and Huge D shoulder tackles Heavy Metal Borg. Coffee eyes Mecha Gold-Bear IV up and down and then shrugs and charges for a spinning kick to the robo-face. Mecha grabs the ankle about an inch from connecting and holds Coffee upside-down. Coffee is squirming around and Mecha uses the other arm to rapid punch Coffee in the face and chest with piston power! Blood and a few teeth fall from the hanging Coffee and and his two partners stop and look on in bewilderment.
Magnus: Oh my! Mecha standing tall for his team and taking control in the early goings!
Huge D and Xander pull Coffee away from Mecha and drag him away to safety. Huge D tends to his friend. Xander, with tears in his eyes, walk back to Mecha and starts screaming at him. Evil and Heavy come from behind Mecha and kick Xander in the gut, then each grab an arm. They lift Xander off the ground, legs dangling, yelling for help. Mecha charges head down, ramming into Xander, then lifts up, sending him fifteen to twenty feet in the air and rotating a couple times. Xander crashes to the mat on his back, bounces up another few feet from the reverberating impact, then lays lifeless on the mat. Evil quickly covers. 1, 2, 3!
: Your winners of the match, The Bo—
Huge D grabs Magnus by the shoulder and turns him around. D is screaming in his face how “this is not cool,” and “we didn’t sign up for this” and such. Magnus holds up his regular and mechanical arms and backs away. Huge D continues to stagger toward Magnus, the Borgs just look on, because why would they help? They’re evil. Huge D rears a fist back and goes to strike Magnus! But wait, someone has grabbed Huge D’s fist! IT’S BEEEEEEEEF!
Magnus: OH SNAP! I forgot to tell you guys BEEEEF was back!
Huge D turns around and stares down with Beeeeeeeef. Huge D swings at Beeeeeeef, but he ducks, then hits Huge D with a haymaker! Huge D staggers back and Beeeeeeef kicks him in the gut and lifts him onto his shoulders. Then hits a Death-valley-hammer! He then pulls Huge D up off the mat and whips him into Mecha Gold-Bear IV, who clotheslines D. He hits the mat spitting up blood. The Borgs celebrate their victory as Beeeeeeef grabs Magnus, lifts him over his shoulder, and carries him out of the ring. The fans are giving a standing ovation, except for the nerd and his wheel chair ridden old bat.
Magnus: I guess I should explain. James' last will and testament said that should something happen to him, Beeeeeeef’s life dept would be transferred to me. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but now I do. Apparently he’d been living in the boiler room since The Guns left and had no idea what happened to them. But he doesn’t really say anything, so I’m not sure what he wants or why he’s around. In fact, he’s standing right behind me as I record this. Well, that’s all for tonight folks!
But before the camera fades a loud noise is heard and the camera cuts to the entrance doors where Goldbear II stands on his hind legs.
Goldbear II: RAAAAAWR!
Magnus: Does anyone speak bear?
Mecha-Goldbear: TRANSLATING! He says he has unfinished business here.
Magnus: Oh? That sounds like money...er...I mean a match. You think it has something to do with James’ undead uncle bear that is locked up in a cage in the basement?
Magnus looks at Heavy and Evil and they both nod yes, evily.
Magnus: Do you think it has something to do with the championship this company has but everyone forgot about?
The two again nod.
Magnus: Hmm. How can I make the most mon...most attention to such a historic match. I know. NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!
With that we cut as we hear Goldbear II roars in approval.
Somewhere in America.
Do you hear something?
Me winning?
No, I think it's a car.
Both men look off camera and soon a limo pulls into view.
That's not the police.
No, that's one of my cars.
The door wings open in front of the two and we hear the voice of an old foe, Mr. X.
Mr. X: Get in.
The two GUNS look at each other in shock before reluctantly climbing in the limo.
Meanwhile… in the swamps of Atlanta, Georgia…Â
We see the Borgs celebrating their victory over Contemporary Twenty Four Hours. Well, just Evil Borg and Heavy Metal Borg. Mecha Gold-Bear IV is nowhere to be seen.
: Mwua ha ha ha! We continue to trek onward on our war against the present! …THE AFTERWARD… is coming on strongly! Like a freight train! No GUNS to stop us! No Trons to stop us because they don’t evn know the GUN Show is back! And by the time they do, our popularity will be too big to stop! The sonic euphoria waves that Mecha Gold-Bear IV emit to get people to love us is working perfectly!
: You watch their faces, You'll see the traces, Of the things they want to be! But only we can see, They come for killing, They leave and still it seems, The cloud that's left behind Oh can penetrate your mind! But sail along, sing a song, carry on, 'Cause we rock, we rock, we rock, we rock!
: Oh you damn right Heavy! We are now so beloved! Except by that one kid. But every rule must have an exception. Once the groundswell is unstoppable, maybe I’ll dissect his brain to figure out why it won’t work on him.
: OOOOOOOP!
: Yeah, I agree, I think the old lady does have the hots for you. I mean, you do you man. Just be aware of dus—
DING-DONG.
: Oh, that must be Magnus and BEEEEEF! Computer, let the guests in.
Star Trek door swish noise. Magnus and Beeeeeef walk into the room.
: I still don’t know why you guys insist on living in the swamp. We are making so much bank.
: Because where else can we be eeeeeevil?
: We’re in Atlanta, so… literally anywhere.
: …touché. But we already set up camp here.
: Anyway, with all the bank we’re banking, I was hoping you could make me that right arm now?
: Pffft, no.
Beeeeeef grabs Evil by the collar, or where the collar would be on his full body suit. Slams him up against the wall and snarls.
: Whoa, hey BEEEEEF! I’m sorry. I’m sorry BEEEEF! Magnus, call BEEEEEF off me please! Why do I keep saying his name like BEEEEEEF?
: It’s in his contract. BEEEEEEF! It’s okay buddy.
: Yeah, I didn’t mean no like “no I won’t.” I meant no like “no I can’t.” I don’t have the proper tools. I used my last reserved to make Magnus that left arm. But BEEEEF, once …THE AFTERWARD… comes to pass, it’ll be raining metallic arms on Magnus.
: That sounds like it would hurt.
: “So now I come to” BEEEEEF, “With open arms!”
Heavy covers his mouth in shock.
: Wow, that is an iron clad contract. Now, can you please have your muscle let me down?
Magnus nods and Beeeeeeef puts down Evil and pats him on the head.
: We’re making bank, the GUN Show is going like gangbusters. So I’m thinking we bring it back!
: Bring what back?
: Next season, we’re bringing back the not quite annual Golden Guns Award Show! So shine up Mecha Gold-Bear IV and wear your best suits! Where is Mecha Gold-Bear IV?
: Idunno? Probably recharging somewhere. But this is perfect! He will be ready. And we will be ready! MWUA HA HA HA! MUUWAAA HA HA HAAAA!
: BWA HA HA HA!
Evil stops laughing and looks at Magnus. Magnus shrugs. The scene fades out… and then slowly fades into what appears to be a garage. We hear the sounds of saws and welding and other construction things. The camera continues to pan across the garage and we see sparks flying. As the pan continues, we now see the back of Mecha Gold-bear IV as he seems to be working on something.
: Master_plan.exe rendering on schedule. Chance of THE A-A-A-AAAFTERWARD forming on schedule = 95%, despite Master interference. Mecha Gold-Bear IV will make Masters proud… after they are… force clooooosed.
Mecha continues to work as we fade out again.
Velez Corp
Chicago, CA
July 4th, 2020
So you're telling me that you set all of that up? You're telling me that there never was a dead hooker? You're telling me you did all of this so you could take over my company once and for all? You're telling me that you bugged Venom's phone and routed it to you when we finally called?
Mr. X: Yes.
Then why are there police here.
Cop: Because your friend here is under arrest.
What? Why?
Cop: Because you trained a bear to fight and unleashed it in the forest where it then killed four men. You are responsible for those men's deaths. You are under arrest.
The officer handcuffs Venom and begins to read him his rights as we fade to black. What will happen? Will Velez retake his company? Will Venom be convicted for the murder of four men? Will Mueller find out he isn't wanted for murder? Will the Borgs bring on the AFTERWARD? Is Mongo secretly behind everything because he's an evil dick? Find out all of this and more on the next season of the GUN SHOW.