Gun Show s.2ep.9 - When Robots Attack
Aug 21, 2020 20:38:35 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 4 more like this
Post by Venom š· on Aug 21, 2020 20:38:35 GMT -5
Welcome to the Gun Show!
Magnus: Welcome to the Gun Show. We kick off the night with the punishm... with another hot X*Crown match! Already in the ring is Mecha-Goldbear IV ready for his shot at the title. Before that it appears the Borgs have got something to say.
Heavy Metal Borg has a mic in his hand and he taps it causing a loud tap tap sound over the PA that visibly annoys the fans.
Heavy Metal: The long and winding road, that leads to your door, will never disappear, I've seen that road before, it always leads me here.
Evil: Yes, and here we are at the end of the road where our friend, our creation Mecha-Goldbear will finally join us as Champions in this company, and all we had to do was offer a little retribution for our good friend Magnus.
Evil looks over at Magnus and gives a thumbs up while Magnus makes the throat cut motion to stop.
Evil: Yes, Mecha will cut Rob's throat for what he did to you...
Evil is interrupted by a familiar voice, the voice of the X*Crown Champion himself Rob Arnold who appears at the entrance way flanked by his confidant Leon Chant carrying the case of dead championships.
Rob: Magnus, buddy, I thought this was about getting me a chance to prepare for Dylan since he's, how'd you put it, a quarter robot already. Now Evil Borg is out here saying this is payback? I thought we were friends. Magnus, maybe after I win this match and then go on to defeat Dylan you'll see that I'm not the enemy.
Rob hands the Mic off and heads to the ring.
X*Crown Championship Match
Rob Arnold vs Mecha-Goldbear IV
Rob stands across the ring from the giant and intimidating mechanical robot bear and does not look the least bit fazed. On the outside the Borgs stand on one side of the ring and Chant on the other. The ref calls for the bell and immediately Mecha swings with his robot arm for the head of Rob. Rob quickly ducks to avoid the attack but the close call prompts Chant to jump on the ring apron. He yells for his mentor to get out of there, but Rob calmly waves him down. Mecha again goes for a strike, this time attempting a kick, but Rob is too quick and too agile for the robot and is able to leap over the attempt. Mecha follows up quickly with an overhand chop, but Rob somehow manages to sidestep and Mecha's hand comes crashing down into the mat.
Magnus: Close call for Rob there. If that connects we might be cleaning Rob off of the mat, not like that is something I want to happen or anything.
Rob quickly grabs onto the arm of Mecha before he can raise it back up off of the mat, Rob tries to do something with the arm, but nothing happens except he begins to lift in the air as Mecha lifts his arm up. Rob quickly wraps his whole body around the arm to keep from falling and Mecha waves it around to try and knock Rob off. Rob doesn't fall, but does slide down and onto the shoulders of Mecha where he grasps at the head looking for something to help him stop the robot. Mecha then rears back with his other hand and strikes at Rob, but Rob quickly moves around to Mecha's back and Mecha strikes himself in the shoulder. Rob is hanging on for dear life on the shoulders of Mecha when Mecha's head turns a full 180 degrees and locks eyes with Rob on his back and you can clearly hear Rob exclaim "oh shit."
Magnus: Well that's the stuff nightmares are made of.
Rob quickly slides down Mecha's back trying to get out of the view of the robot and grabbing at anything he can on the way down looking for something to help him stop the monster. Meanwhile, Mecha's body seems to be adjusting. His arms come backwards one at a time and his legs turn on the joint and suddenly his back is his front and his front is his back and Rob is no longer behind him. By the time the adjustment has ended Rob is back standing on the mat and in a quick move tries to slide feet first under the robot to get behind him again, but before he can Mecha grabs him by the shoulders and holds him to the mat. The ref drops down to make the count 1, 2, and just before the ref can drop for a third time Rob somehow wiggles one shoulder free and reaches up and poke Mecha in what could only be described as his anus. His finger goes deep inside the robot and comes back out and when it does Mecha appears to shut down. Rob wiggles free of the other hand and quickly gets to his feet. The ref seems confused. He is not sure what just happened but he waves his hand in front of the face of Mecha-Goldbear IV and with no response he calls for the bell.
Winner via Knockout? and STILL X*Crown Champion: Rob Arnold
Magnus: I can't -Bleep-ing believe it. This is -Bleep-ing bullshit...
We cut to a zoom call before Magnus goes on a full blown tirade. Itās a blank black screen at first and soon four screens pop up. In one corner the name with the box reads Judge Dread, another reads ADA Mayfield, then Venom and the final one reads Defense Attorney Kanyon.
Dread: Okay, weāre on this call today to determine if the defendant *the judges feed cuts out momentarily* should be allowed bail. Does the defendant have anything to say for himself?
Venom: You canāt handle the truth!
Dread: Sir this is a bail hearing and comments like that arenāt going to help you. Letās move on. ADA Mayfield please tell us why the defendant does not deserve bail.
Mayfield: Well your honor, the defendant is a man of great means who was able to hide for nearly two years without being found after committing the crime in question.
Kanyon: Excuse me sir, but that is not correct.
Dread: Wait, arenāt you president?
Kanyon: Yes I am.
Dread: Why are you defending him when you could just pardon him?
Kanyon: Because I always wanted to be a lawyer.
Dread: Makes no sense, but continue.
Kanyon: My client was not hiding, he was lost and on the run because he thought the police were chasing him because he thought his friend killed a prostitute.
Venom face palms.
Dread: Youāre saying that your client wasnāt hiding for this crime because he was hiding because of another all together?
Kanyon: Yeah thatās pretty much it.
Dread: Well that clears it up, bail denied.
Kanyon: Damn. I thought I did so well.
Venom: Please Judge, donāt listen to him.
Dread: Too late. Iām sorry sir this hearing is over.
Everyoneās screen cuts except Venoms.
Venom: Fuck!
Back in the gym Goldbear II is in the ring ready for his opponent. He looks over at Magnus and lets out a roar and Magnus ducks under the announcers table in response. Goldbear II tosses the belt aside and looks to be ready to turn leave the ring and maul Magnus when he's interupted.
?: Hey there big guy, the suns getting real low.
This takes Goldbear II's attention away from Magnus and turns towards the entrance area and there stands a bald man in wrestling gear.
Magnus: Oh man, I think I know that guy. There's something oddly familiar about him.
?: Hello there Goldbear. My name is Rob Hill, I'm known on the indy circuit as the Digger of Graves and I'm here for your open challenge. I know you're a big bad bear, but I've handled guys bigger than you before and I'm not scared. So big guy, the sun is getting real low, it's time to lay down and hibernate for the winter.
Magnus: I hope this guy realizes that its summer before he gets in the ring. Oh, it doesn't look like he will, but we've got a match at least.
Bear Necessites Championship Match
Goldbear II vs Rob "The Digger of Graves" Hill
Now without the mic Hill continues to tell Goldbear II that the sun is getting low and motioning for Goldbear II to lay down. Goldbear II cocks his head unsure of what to think. Hill keeps going with his eyes locked on Goldbear II. He keeps his voice real come and makes slow motions for the ground and just like that he seems to have gotten through to Goldbear II as Goldbear II lays down on his back. Hill slowly moves towards him and lays on top of him. The ref drops for the count, but before he can do anything Hill is hurled off of Goldbear II and flung across the ring.Magnus: I don't think that worked.
Hill's expression changes from calm to worried as Goldbear II gets up to his feet. Hill runs at the champion full speed and Goldbear spins and takes Hill's head off with a roaring clothesline. Hill flips from the impact and hits the mat hard. Hill is laid out, but Goldbear II is not finished. He runs to the ropes and bounces off the ropes and spring board back with a leg drop across the next of Hill. Goldbear II keeps his leg across the neck of Hill and the ref drops and makes the count.
Winner and STILL Bear Necessities Champion: Goldbear II
Magnus: Welp, I hope he enjoyed his TV time at least.
Back in Velez Corp in Chicago, IL Charlie Velez sneaks into the office of Mr. X with his secretary Mary Poppins in tow. Once inside Velez says in a whisper to Ms. Poppins.
Velez: Okay, it's time for a prank that will drive him insane and get payback for what he did to my office.
Poppins: So what are we going to do? Glue his furniture to the roof? Put thumbtacks on his chair? Wallpaper his wall with ugly images?
Velez: Much more sinister than any of that.
Velez walks over to Mr. X's desk and moves his stapler about three inches.
Velez: When he comes in here in the morning he'll wonder why his stapler has moved and nothing else. He'll feel all creeped out because someone was in here but there's no real evidence. He's gonna be freaked.
Poppins: That's...it?
Velez: Yeah, now lets hurry out of here before someone sees us.
Velez scurries out of the office as Poppins lets out a sigh and follows behind him.
Meanwhileā¦ in the swamps of Atlanta, Georgiaā¦
We see the Borgs fuming with anger. Mecha Gold-Bear IV is nowhere to be seen. A beeping sound is heard in the distance.
: How did he know? HOW DID HE KNOW!?
: āI fell on black days. How would I know that this could be my fate?ā
The beeping gets closer, and itās a forklift carrying Mecha Gold-Bear IV! BEEEEEF is driving.
: How did he know where the power core was located? How could this be!
Magnus peeks out from behind BEEEEEF.
: Uh, sorry guys, I may have had his blueprints lying around. This is why ITAR is very important. I mean, I saw them in the locker room and moved them to the VIP room for safe keeping. But of course, that room is only accessible by me and the X*Crown champion, and well, before Rob showed up, I frankly never thought Iād have to worry about the X*Crown champion showing up here with Venom and Mueller gone. It was a sweet sweet haven to get away for awhile before he showed back up. I guess I didnāt think about it. Sorry.
: How could yo--but wait, why would Mecha Gold-Bear IVās blueprints even be at the Guns Arena?
: Idunno. Looked very complicated though.
: OOOO-BEEEEEF-OOOP!
: Heavy is requesting the robot be placed over here.
Evil points to a chamber in the corner. BEEEEEEEF obliges with some excellent forklift driving skillz and places the bear in the pod. Evil and Heavy start to hook up wires to the hulking robotic beast.
: Gentlemen! Stand back! Except you Heavy, you have to turn the switch.
: āIt could be you, it could be me, it could be anyone!ā
: You know it always has to be you, your hands are so dainty! Just do it!
Evil, BEEEEEEEF, and Magnust stand back as Heavy Metal gets on his knees and sticks his arm up into the area of Mecha Gold-Bear IV where an anal cavity would be on a normal animal. His arm goes deep, like farmer who reaches into cows deep. We hear a click and he quickly pulls his arm out as Mecha Gold-Bear IV powers back on.
: Mecha Gold-Bear IV is back online. Booting drivers.
: Mecha Gold-Bear IV! Do you know why your blueprints were at the venue tonight before your match?
: Searching databaseā¦ that information is classified.
: Classified? From me, your master!
: Firewall-firewall-firewall.
: Well, this is problematic.
: Just get a water hose.
Evil, Heavy, and even BEEEEEF look at Magnus like heās an idiot.
: What?
We cut back to the gym where the crowd is getting, somewhat excited.
Magnus: And now itās time for our main event!
The lights dim down as the echoing intro to "St Patrick" by PVRIS begins to fill the arena and a single spotlight hits the entrance.
"You give me something to talk about (something to talk about), HEY."
Rob Arnold walks out onto the stage, fully recovered from earlier and now in a suit. He is wearing the CWA Championship around his waist and has the ICW Championship on his shoulder, he also has another title on his other shoulder, the ECF World Heavyweight Title.
"I know it's chemicals, that make me cling to you (cling to you)
Oh and I need a miracle, to get away from you (way from you)
I know it's chemicals (that make me cling to you, cling to you)
And I need a miracle (to make me stay with you, stay with you)
And I'm not spiritual (but please stay)
'Cause I think you're a saint, and I think you're an angel."
Rob walks to the commentary desk and grabs a microphone as his music cuts out.
Arnold: Now, before we get our main event under way, I feel like I need to throw out a peace offering. Magnus, I said earlier that perhaps you shouldnāt see me as the enemy. Iāve had some more time to think about how I could prove that to you. I figured that the best way is to give you this.
Rob holds the ECF World Heavyweight Title towards Magnus.
Arnold: This is the ECF World Heavyweight Title, it was the first addition to the X*Crown following the original four. I want you to have it, call it a gift, call it an olive branch, call it what you want.
Magnus hesitates for a moment.
Magnus: For me? To keep?
Arnold: For as long as Iām X*Crown Champion, so itās in your interest for me to be champion as long as possible.
Magnus pauses to think, suddenly the lightbulb moment happens and he reaches out and takes the title, placing it on his shoulder, he admires it and flashes a smug grin at Rob.
Arnold: There we go!
The moment is short lived, as āBe Legendaryā by Pop Evil starts playing over the sound system. Bobby Barratt walks on the stage. The fans cheer, amd he allows their cheers to wash over him for a second before heading down to the ring. He heads down to the ring with a plodding intensity that sees him walk past the fans, focused on the match ahead. Bobby hops to the apron and wipes his feet before springing over the top rope and taking in the adoration of the fans.
Magnus: Introducing first from Walsall, England, Bobby Barratt!
Rob has taken a seat next to Magnus, having handed the referee the ICW Title and placed the CWA Title in front of him at the commentary desk.
Arnold: Here we are then folks, I needed a way to celebrate the ICW Title and who better than two of the men that battled for it, all the way till the moment it became an X*Crown championship.
Magnus: Youāre staying?
Arnold: Figured I may as well, since Iām here.
The lights dim and red strobes begin to flash as "Legendary" by Skillet feels the gymnasium. Jack Diamond emerges from the back wearing his leather jacket and diamond shaped sunglasses and makes his way down to the ring. He rolls under the bottom rope and quickly pops up and throws his hands in the air in a diamond sign. He gives a very smug grin as he heads the the opposite corner to Barratt.
Magnus: And his opponent, from Cherokee, North Carolina, Jack Diamond!
Arnold: And hereās Jack Diamond, like Bobby and myself, he is a two time X*Crown Champion, heās also been a little off the rails lately.
Magnus: A little?
Arnold: Okay a lot.
ICW Championship Match
Jack Diamond vs Bobby Barrett
Back in the ring, the two men stare daggers through each other. There is no doubt that these two former friends detest each other. The referee walks over to Barratt first and shows him the ICW Title, before heading over to Jack Diamond and doing the same. He then stands in the middle of the ring and holds the title up for the reduced fans in attendance, before handing the belt to the timekeeper and signalling for the match to begin.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Arnold: Here we go! I tell you what Magnus, Iām not sure who Iād back to win this one, Jack has slightly more momentum after Call to Arms, but when two people hate each other this much then all bets are off..Magnus?
Magnus: Itās so shiny...sorry, what were you saying?
Arnold: Do you have a prediction for this match?
Magnus: Ummmmmmā¦No, no I do not.
Jack and Bobby circle each other carefully, Bobby looks focused, whereas Jack looks menacing, sneering at Bobby. Then, without warning they lock up, both men try and invoke their strength on the other, but neither seem to have the upper hand, and they break the hold. Both men seem unphased and resume circling each other.
Arnold: This one is going to be about fine margins.
Magnus: Speaking of margins, this belt has lovely margins.
Bobby and Jack lock up once more, and once more they seem at a stalemate, after attempting to gain dominance they both step back. Jack laughs and goads Bobby to come at him, Bobby just stares through his foe, that is, until the referee begins to cough. Bobby and Jack both look as the referee holds a hand over his face and keeps coughing. Bobby looks rather disgusted and slides out of the ring, and walks over to Rob Arnold at the commentary table.
Barratt: What the hell is this?
Arnold: What do you mean?
Barratt: You know Iām worried about the damn āRona! Was he tested?
Barratt points at the ref, who has stopped coughing to begin his ten count, seeing as the match is still going on.
Arnold: We were all tested, right Magnus?
Magnus: Tested? For what?
Barratt goes from disgusted to outright panic, not aware that Magnus is completely fixated with the ECF Title.
Barratt: What does he mean by that? You said weād all be tested!
Arnold: And we were, right Magnus?
Arnold glares at Magnus, who is now just ignoring everybody. Meanwhile the refereeās count is up to five.
Barratt: Fuck this! Iām out!
Arnold: Bobby! Come on, itās safe, ignore Magnus, heās an idiot!
Magnus: Huh?
Arnold: Go back to playing with your title. Bobby? Bobby!
With Arnold turning to Magnus briefly, he fails to notice that Bobby has made a very quick exit back around the ring. Jack Diamond has remained in the ring all this time, and quite frankly has been pretty confused by Bobbyās germaphobia. Rob removes his headset and tries to go after Bobby but itās no use, heās gone, and the referee completes his ten count. Winner by Count out: Jack Diamond
Magnus: Huh? Itās over?
Rob shakes his head and walks back to the collect the ICW Title. āLegendaryā by Skillet plays again and Rob hands Diamond the title who celebrates, albeit reluctantly.
Magnus: Well looks like thatās all we have time for folks! Rob is still X*Crown Champion, Goldbear II is still the Bear Necessities Champion, Iām now the ECF Champion, and Jack Diamond is the ICW Champion! See you at the next Gun Show!