XHF Dark Ages: Adrift [Part 2 of a Series]
Jun 13, 2017 21:33:02 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and Doc like this
Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jun 13, 2017 21:33:02 GMT -5
*We open up on a familiar black room with a white screen located in the center. Once again into the frame steps XHF’s NUMBA ONE announcer and lovable scamp Funaki*
It is dat time again XHF fans. To step into da time machine of archive footage dat Funaki has … um … acquired … legally … and with knowledge of all involved. *He grins sheepishly* Today we step back into da XHF Dark Ages and see more from your favorite XHF employees in da years since XHF’s last show.
*The screen comes to life*
: Today we step into the world of a warrior. With friends missing, enemies defeated, and an unclear purpose … what is a warrior to do?
*We zoom into the screen as we see video of the MASSIVE EXPLOSION of the Borg’s device. Static covers the screen as it freezes and we zoom out to see it was a TV within the video feed. And watching it is a man in a familiar helmet looking lost … or about as lost as am emotionless helmet can emote.*
: It was a glorious victory. We saved … THE FUTURE! And … THE WHERE I AM NOW! Now what? I know Evil-Borg and his minions are trapped somewhere in this time but they have laid low. They are not foolish enough to try anything now. And with the XHF now closed it seems they have no chance to return and create more schemes. Truly we have succeeded.
*He leaps to his feet and holsters his remote where his six-shooter would usually be*
: And yet here I am still seemingly called to this place. But if XHF is no more then there is no chance of Nelly’s HORRIBLE UNSPEAKABLE DEMISE occurring. We’ve won haven’t we?
*He enters the kitchen and pulls his six-shooter from his shelf and aims it at a plate. Out shoots a stack of five pancakes. The next shot is maple syrup. He eats … through the helmet. Yeah that’s right you wanna fight about it?*
: Truly this PAST baked breakfast food is a scrumptious delight! No wonder they all get so fat for so many decades before we slimmed out again. But what is my mission. What is tethering me to the here and now? I haven’t seen my friend Saber, my cohort Mini, my mentor Lazor or even our sometimes ally the Xtreme Ranger in some time. Could they be back in … THE FUTURE?
*The TV clicks to life … in some weird way almost as if by pure need to the plot! It’s a Tron thing just roll with it.*
TV: This is John Johnson for Action News Nine on Channel Nine, the News Network. We have breaking news and live footage from Downtown Minneapolis where an event is unfolding. Let’s go to our eye in the sky Jack Jackson.
Jack: Thanks John, this is truly a sight to behold. Smoke rises from the Convention Center here in the center of town as some kind of army of masked people has converged on the center. From here in the helicopter you can see the throngs of people all rushing towards the chaos. Let’s go to the floor of the Convention Center and Tim Timmons.
Tim: Thanks Jack. As you can see there is a lot of smoke and neon strobe lights coming from Hall H the main hall here.
*Shogun looks away … and speaks directly to the camera … which he doesn’t know is there as it seems to be on the shelf with all his items so he is … kind of announcing this to a few pieces of china, a signed picture from Mongo, and a team portrait of the Trons*
: Oh my God or God-like deity or pure luck for atheists this is it! It must be the Borgs rebuilding. I must heed the clarion call!
*He sprints away to … a teleporter … or a car …we have no idea where Shogun-Tron’s manly man cave of … THE FUTURE … is located!*
Tim: Yes the comic convention is in full swing here and the people love it. Word is that there are even some fans dressed up as their favorite wrestlers from the local wrestling company that just two years ago closed its doors.
*We fade out and come back in on what seems to be news footage itself, that is to say the camera we are inhabiting is not being held by a mysterious onlooker as before but is security footage from the event. We have no audio but see a bunch of people walking around a crowded auditorium as a panel has just let out. We see on stage two men, one in a green lantern shirt the other in an Ultimate Warrior top, and a woman in a shirt that depicts a popular female wrestler (you know the one! YEAH THAT ONE! … ) dressed as Wonder Woman. The sign above them tells us it’s a panel about wrestling comics (they REALLY exist man … Ultimate Warrior even wrote one! The crowd has some people out of costume, a bunch of people dressed as popular comic, tv, movie, and video game characters. Look there’s a smoking hot girl dressed as Tracer OH NO SOMEONE HAS BOUNDED INTO THE ROOM AND ACCIDENTALLY KICKED THE WOMAN IN HIS HASTE! Luckily he seems a hero and helps her up and appears very apologetic. The man – Shogun-Tron – is bounding from civilian to civilian and seems to slowly be realizing they are not fellow heroes nor are they villains. He approaches the panelists and shakes their hands and begins to gesticulate as only a sentai hero can. When one seems to not he seems exuberant and sprints out of the room. Cut to another security feed this time with sound.*
Large Hairy Man dressed as Sailor Moon: Well I think it’s very fitting to see a little cross play. It’s only for fun and it shows that all characters are more developed than just being defined by their appearance. Did it matter that Spider-Man was a Latino in the Ultimates? No everyone loves Miles Morales.
*We see his fellow panelist is dressed as … Evil-Borg??????*
Female Voiced Evil-Borg: And why not pick up on some people who need love. Even lesser known characters who provide plenty of entertainment should be cherished. Nobody has seen my cosplay in years but he made us laugh, even if not intentionally so…
*shogun bounds into the room and poses*
: HALT! I knew I’d find you Evil-Borg. The news reported all the smoke and lasers. Only a foul beast such as you could try and use all these heroes and villains to power your new device to send you back to … THE FUTURE!
*The Evil-Borg cosplayer seems to want to play along, like she’d been waiting for this her whole week long*
: What is this? A foolish Tron? Can’t you see that I will win. You have not seen your allies in some time either have you? Well that means that if I cannot have this world I will take … THE .. shit what was it .. oh … AFTERWARD … for myself.
: I may be alone but I am mighty!
*he raises the six-shooter, the Borg raises a laser sword! .. It’s a toy lightsaber people…*
: But … that is one of Saber-Tron’s weapons. I WILL AVENGE HIM!
*He fires and a taco shoots out of the gun … the cosplayer is amused. Shogun looks sad as he had forgotten he’d been using his weapon to make his meals. He can’t cook you know.*
: Wow you even got a working prop gun? Ok I am impressed, can we hold up this so I can intervi…
*He fires again and this time out flies Peter Dinklage. No not a replica, the actual actor.*
: Ow!
Peter Dinklage: How did I get here? Where am I?
*The crowd swarms Peter and carries him away leaving the two panelists and Shogun alone*
: You are the real wrestler Shogun-Tron. Dude I’m a cosplayer.
: … A what now?
: I’m dressed as a character to bring attention to a) cross-play, dressing as the opposite gender and b) for funsies.
: That is highly illegal in THE FUTURE so … *it clicks in his head* OH MY GOD OR GOD LIKE DEITY OR PURE LUCK FOR ATHEISTS I AM SO SORRY! … That would explain the voice … and the stunning D-cups…
: Dude … not cool.
: I apologize all body parts are also regulated in THE FUTURE … those don’t exist there. I was simply amazed.
: Um ………. Ok …… thanks I guess?
: But if you are not Evil-Borg then where is he? Who has damaged this place?
: This is a convention, those are special effects.
: I … have been fooled by the trappings of the time in which I am stuck. I … must go.
*We fade out as he walks away dejected and the camera zooms in on the woman’s chest. Hey security guards can be perverts too. We fade back in on more hand held camera footage. It is a man running wearing a brown shirt and tan pants. He seems to catch up to his quarry and raises the camera showing Shogun-Tron walking down the street, intermittently posing.*
: I don’t understand. Why am I still called to action? Where are my allies? What is my purpose? Has our great leader back in the FUTURE forgotten me? I feel so abandoned. I wish my mentor Lazor was here. He would give me direction. Truly he is the hero we ALL need. Nothing bad could be done by his hands. Maybe I should just find Nelly Angel and follow him around … a silent protector … until I am called on again … what else have I to do?
*he gets farther from the camera as the cameraman stops …*
Cameraman: A pattern … though I never knew these … things …from the “future” had feelings. This is not turning up the results we had hoped for …
*Funaki stops the video as if he heard a noise. He quickly regains composure.*
: Funaki have more video next time, and get another paycheck! Join us for more looks into the XHF Dark Ages.
*banging can be heard on the door.*
: I KNOW SOMEONE’S IN THERE STEALING MY JOB! YOU RUINED THE XHF VIDEO ARCHIVE LIBRARY! … IT’S A LIBRARY! YOU CAN JUST CHECK OUT THE VIDEOS!
: Time to go! XHF NUMBA ONE! FUNAKI NUMBA ONE!
*He runs off and leaps through a conveniently opened window. ……… Does he know how high up the window is?*
: I’M COMING IN! I WILL FIND OUT WHO KEEPS TYING ME UP!
*Nelly busts in to find an empty office and hear a large vehicle outside the open window. He looks down and sees a truck … a flatbed truck … with about 500 mattresses and some pillows. On it he sees a man shaped object freshly hidden by blankets and a very fat man in an American flag bandana driving as the truck pulls away.*
: … Ok props for the exit … Do we have another episode? No? Fine I’m going to watch some old tape of the birthday shows.
*We fade out*
It is dat time again XHF fans. To step into da time machine of archive footage dat Funaki has … um … acquired … legally … and with knowledge of all involved. *He grins sheepishly* Today we step back into da XHF Dark Ages and see more from your favorite XHF employees in da years since XHF’s last show.*The screen comes to life*
: Today we step into the world of a warrior. With friends missing, enemies defeated, and an unclear purpose … what is a warrior to do?*We zoom into the screen as we see video of the MASSIVE EXPLOSION of the Borg’s device. Static covers the screen as it freezes and we zoom out to see it was a TV within the video feed. And watching it is a man in a familiar helmet looking lost … or about as lost as am emotionless helmet can emote.*
: It was a glorious victory. We saved … THE FUTURE! And … THE WHERE I AM NOW! Now what? I know Evil-Borg and his minions are trapped somewhere in this time but they have laid low. They are not foolish enough to try anything now. And with the XHF now closed it seems they have no chance to return and create more schemes. Truly we have succeeded.*He leaps to his feet and holsters his remote where his six-shooter would usually be*
: And yet here I am still seemingly called to this place. But if XHF is no more then there is no chance of Nelly’s HORRIBLE UNSPEAKABLE DEMISE occurring. We’ve won haven’t we?*He enters the kitchen and pulls his six-shooter from his shelf and aims it at a plate. Out shoots a stack of five pancakes. The next shot is maple syrup. He eats … through the helmet. Yeah that’s right you wanna fight about it?*
: Truly this PAST baked breakfast food is a scrumptious delight! No wonder they all get so fat for so many decades before we slimmed out again. But what is my mission. What is tethering me to the here and now? I haven’t seen my friend Saber, my cohort Mini, my mentor Lazor or even our sometimes ally the Xtreme Ranger in some time. Could they be back in … THE FUTURE?*The TV clicks to life … in some weird way almost as if by pure need to the plot! It’s a Tron thing just roll with it.*
TV: This is John Johnson for Action News Nine on Channel Nine, the News Network. We have breaking news and live footage from Downtown Minneapolis where an event is unfolding. Let’s go to our eye in the sky Jack Jackson.
Jack: Thanks John, this is truly a sight to behold. Smoke rises from the Convention Center here in the center of town as some kind of army of masked people has converged on the center. From here in the helicopter you can see the throngs of people all rushing towards the chaos. Let’s go to the floor of the Convention Center and Tim Timmons.
Tim: Thanks Jack. As you can see there is a lot of smoke and neon strobe lights coming from Hall H the main hall here.
*Shogun looks away … and speaks directly to the camera … which he doesn’t know is there as it seems to be on the shelf with all his items so he is … kind of announcing this to a few pieces of china, a signed picture from Mongo, and a team portrait of the Trons*
: Oh my God or God-like deity or pure luck for atheists this is it! It must be the Borgs rebuilding. I must heed the clarion call!*He sprints away to … a teleporter … or a car …we have no idea where Shogun-Tron’s manly man cave of … THE FUTURE … is located!*
Tim: Yes the comic convention is in full swing here and the people love it. Word is that there are even some fans dressed up as their favorite wrestlers from the local wrestling company that just two years ago closed its doors.
*We fade out and come back in on what seems to be news footage itself, that is to say the camera we are inhabiting is not being held by a mysterious onlooker as before but is security footage from the event. We have no audio but see a bunch of people walking around a crowded auditorium as a panel has just let out. We see on stage two men, one in a green lantern shirt the other in an Ultimate Warrior top, and a woman in a shirt that depicts a popular female wrestler (you know the one! YEAH THAT ONE! … ) dressed as Wonder Woman. The sign above them tells us it’s a panel about wrestling comics (they REALLY exist man … Ultimate Warrior even wrote one! The crowd has some people out of costume, a bunch of people dressed as popular comic, tv, movie, and video game characters. Look there’s a smoking hot girl dressed as Tracer OH NO SOMEONE HAS BOUNDED INTO THE ROOM AND ACCIDENTALLY KICKED THE WOMAN IN HIS HASTE! Luckily he seems a hero and helps her up and appears very apologetic. The man – Shogun-Tron – is bounding from civilian to civilian and seems to slowly be realizing they are not fellow heroes nor are they villains. He approaches the panelists and shakes their hands and begins to gesticulate as only a sentai hero can. When one seems to not he seems exuberant and sprints out of the room. Cut to another security feed this time with sound.*
Large Hairy Man dressed as Sailor Moon: Well I think it’s very fitting to see a little cross play. It’s only for fun and it shows that all characters are more developed than just being defined by their appearance. Did it matter that Spider-Man was a Latino in the Ultimates? No everyone loves Miles Morales.
*We see his fellow panelist is dressed as … Evil-Borg??????*
Female Voiced Evil-Borg: And why not pick up on some people who need love. Even lesser known characters who provide plenty of entertainment should be cherished. Nobody has seen my cosplay in years but he made us laugh, even if not intentionally so…
*shogun bounds into the room and poses*
: HALT! I knew I’d find you Evil-Borg. The news reported all the smoke and lasers. Only a foul beast such as you could try and use all these heroes and villains to power your new device to send you back to … THE FUTURE!*The Evil-Borg cosplayer seems to want to play along, like she’d been waiting for this her whole week long*
: What is this? A foolish Tron? Can’t you see that I will win. You have not seen your allies in some time either have you? Well that means that if I cannot have this world I will take … THE .. shit what was it .. oh … AFTERWARD … for myself.: I may be alone but I am mighty!*he raises the six-shooter, the Borg raises a laser sword! .. It’s a toy lightsaber people…*
: But … that is one of Saber-Tron’s weapons. I WILL AVENGE HIM!*He fires and a taco shoots out of the gun … the cosplayer is amused. Shogun looks sad as he had forgotten he’d been using his weapon to make his meals. He can’t cook you know.*
: Wow you even got a working prop gun? Ok I am impressed, can we hold up this so I can intervi…*He fires again and this time out flies Peter Dinklage. No not a replica, the actual actor.*
: Ow!Peter Dinklage: How did I get here? Where am I?
*The crowd swarms Peter and carries him away leaving the two panelists and Shogun alone*
: You are the real wrestler Shogun-Tron. Dude I’m a cosplayer.: … A what now?: I’m dressed as a character to bring attention to a) cross-play, dressing as the opposite gender and b) for funsies.: That is highly illegal in THE FUTURE so … *it clicks in his head* OH MY GOD OR GOD LIKE DEITY OR PURE LUCK FOR ATHEISTS I AM SO SORRY! … That would explain the voice … and the stunning D-cups…: Dude … not cool.: I apologize all body parts are also regulated in THE FUTURE … those don’t exist there. I was simply amazed.: Um ………. Ok …… thanks I guess?: But if you are not Evil-Borg then where is he? Who has damaged this place?: This is a convention, those are special effects.: I … have been fooled by the trappings of the time in which I am stuck. I … must go.*We fade out as he walks away dejected and the camera zooms in on the woman’s chest. Hey security guards can be perverts too. We fade back in on more hand held camera footage. It is a man running wearing a brown shirt and tan pants. He seems to catch up to his quarry and raises the camera showing Shogun-Tron walking down the street, intermittently posing.*
: I don’t understand. Why am I still called to action? Where are my allies? What is my purpose? Has our great leader back in the FUTURE forgotten me? I feel so abandoned. I wish my mentor Lazor was here. He would give me direction. Truly he is the hero we ALL need. Nothing bad could be done by his hands. Maybe I should just find Nelly Angel and follow him around … a silent protector … until I am called on again … what else have I to do?*he gets farther from the camera as the cameraman stops …*
Cameraman: A pattern … though I never knew these … things …from the “future” had feelings. This is not turning up the results we had hoped for …
*Funaki stops the video as if he heard a noise. He quickly regains composure.*
: Funaki have more video next time, and get another paycheck! Join us for more looks into the XHF Dark Ages.*banging can be heard on the door.*
: I KNOW SOMEONE’S IN THERE STEALING MY JOB! YOU RUINED THE XHF VIDEO ARCHIVE LIBRARY! … IT’S A LIBRARY! YOU CAN JUST CHECK OUT THE VIDEOS!: Time to go! XHF NUMBA ONE! FUNAKI NUMBA ONE!*He runs off and leaps through a conveniently opened window. ……… Does he know how high up the window is?*
: I’M COMING IN! I WILL FIND OUT WHO KEEPS TYING ME UP!*Nelly busts in to find an empty office and hear a large vehicle outside the open window. He looks down and sees a truck … a flatbed truck … with about 500 mattresses and some pillows. On it he sees a man shaped object freshly hidden by blankets and a very fat man in an American flag bandana driving as the truck pulls away.*
: … Ok props for the exit … Do we have another episode? No? Fine I’m going to watch some old tape of the birthday shows.*We fade out*
