Gun Show Exhibition: Valentines Day Special
Feb 7, 2022 16:40:59 GMT -5
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Post by Venom đź•· on Feb 7, 2022 16:40:59 GMT -5
Boom, pow, bang! Pyro shoots and a firework goes off in the shape of a heart. Welcome to the Gun Show! We pan around the arena and it has changed a bit. There are no fans in the seats and where the floor seating would normally be there are tables for two with couples celebrating a Valentines Day dinner. They all seem to be enjoying themselves as we pan until we stop on Magnus and Tom Phillips.
Magnus: Hello and welcome to the Gun Show. Magnus here along side Tom Phillips who really thought he could get out of a XHF Contract and sign with a rival company.
Phillips: I did sign with another company.
Magnus: But you’re still here. Hahaha.
Phillips: I would be less miserable if this show wasn’t also all couples. I don’t mind a woman in a relationship, but not when their significant other is around.
Magnus: We might have to do this more often than on just Valentine’s Day. You haven’t been cancelled once today, but it’s still early.
Phillips: Can we just get to the match.
Magnus: Sure, I think our challenger is ready.
The metal cover of Sim City's "Metropolis" theme starts banging away as THE DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK, Lord Dominicus makes his way out onto the ramp. Behind him the screen shows pictures of him rolling up other superstars and driving the DominiCruiser in CAR. He gestures to his GRAND VICTORIES on display and the golden CAR Athletic Cup adorned on his groin before strutting down to the ring.
Magnus: The dark lord of racing has arrived.
Phillips: This guy fought hard at Supremacy which is why you chose him for this shot.
Magnus: He’s won everywhere he has gone, but he has yet to win in his appearances on GUNS. A win tonight would take him to the top of the mountain.
“HOOOOOOOOOOOOWL”
“All rise fore the king of all wolves now arrives.”
The voice of James Earl Mother Fucking Jones echos over the speakers. How did he get James Earl Jones to say that? It wasn’t a Cameo I’ll tell you that and it cost a pretty penny. Shortly after James Earl Jones speaks Big Sean’s “Wolves” begins to play. The stage lights up with a spotlight and smoke fills the stage. Two men dressed as royal guards walk out and produce swords. They turn and point them into the air touching near the tips and El Rey walks out wearing a crown with the BDDWF Ultimate Championship side plate front and center in the middle of the Crown. Waving in the breeze from fans under the stage is a red cape with the side plates of the other 22 championships that comprise the X*Crown sewn in. El Rey looks around at the booing audience before lifting his head raising his nose in the air showing his superiority over everyone in the audience. He walks under the two swords and makes his way to the ring. He walks up the stairs and steps into the ring. He’s handed a mic and locks eyes with his opponent.
Magnus: Here’s the champ and he looks ready to tell us what to expect here tonight.
Phillips: I hope it’s brutal and bloody and ruins the dinners if these happy couples.
El Rey: Thank you for coming Dominicus. How does it feel to be the first successful defense in my reign? Don’t answer that, we don’t have time for your nonsense. We have a match here, and I picked the perfect stipulation. As you might have noticed already there are judges at ringside.
We pan around to find that yes indeed there are judges, three of them to be exact.
Magnus: Holy cow, I didn’t even notice them.
Phillips: I recognize these people.
Magnus: This is an odd pairing for a wrestling match though isn’t it?
El Rey: I’m sure you’re looking at these judges and wondering what you got yourself into. Well I’m here to tell you. First, we’re going to compete for three rounds. After each round these judges will determine the scores, and in the end, who wins. First up, hailing from Oakland, California. You can’t touch him, MC Hammer!
Hammer stands up and waves to the audience to moderate applause.
Phillips: I grew up on his music, but why is he here?
Magnus: He’ll do anything for a buck, haven't you seen the Cheetos commercial.
Phillips: Sadly, yes.
El Rey: Next to him, is someone I didn't even hire. She just kind if showed up, Paula Abdul!
Paula stands up waves to the audience and again moderate applause.
Phillips: Maybe I will get lucky tonight after all.
Magnus: Gross, she's almost 60.
Phillips: She could still “straight up” get it.
El Rey: Last, but not least, a man with a close family relationship, the star of Shitstorm: The Musical, Steve Awesome!
Steve stands to and he waves to the crowd to a huge pop. At least a huge pop for the 36 people in attendance.
Magnus: Kinda weird to mention his musical.
Phillips: I didn’t know they made that monstrosity a musical. Is it on broadway?
Magnus: No.
Phillips: Off Broadway?
Magnus: Off off Broadway would be a better description.
El Rey: Now I hope you're ready because these three are here because this is a dance off! I'm from the tic-tok generation, you're screwed old man!
The crowd goes, mild? The happy couples all look at one each other confused about what's going on. They paid a lot for a fancy dinner and a X*Crown match and instead they're getting amateur dancing. In the ring Lord Dominicus snatches the mic out if the young champion’s hands.
Dominicus: You fool. You young arrogant fool. I grew up on Michael Jackson, Paula Abdul, MC Hammer, and more boy bands than you can count. You've dug your own grave.
The dark lord tosses the mic out if the ring and throws one arm up, grabs his crotch with the other, and moonwalks to his corner. El Rey gulps.
Magnus: We’ll I didn’t expect this.
Phillips: Here I wanted a new job because I thought this one was too out there, but here I am calling a dance contest, what was I thinking.
Magnus: Right? This is going to be incredible.
X*Crown Championship
Dance Off
Lord Dominicus vs El Rey (c)
Round 1
Lord Dominicus as the challenger goes first in each round and he steps up to the middle of the ring. He takes a deep breath and then quickly breaks into dance.
Magnus: He’s stomping his feet and lifting his shoulders one at a time.
Phillips: He kicks his leg out and creeps back and forth.
Magnus: Oh man I recognize this one.
Phillips: Yeah, me too. He’s sliding from left to right with ease.
Magnus: And now raising his arms up from side to side.
Phillips: This is perfect Thriller choreography. He must’ve practiced this as a child.
Magnus: I don’t know about him but I practiced this just last week.
Phillips: I walked in on that, it was nothing compared to this. He’s so smooth.
Magnus: He hops, he spins, and that's it. He's done the entire choreography of Micheal Jackson’s Thriller.
Phillips: The judges seem to love it.
Dominicus flips off the young champion and again moonwalks back to his corner. The young champion shakes his head and rolls his eyes before stepping into the center of the ring for his turn.
Magnus: Surprise surprise the zoomer is starting out with a fortnight dance.
Phillips: I believe this one is called the Best Mates.
Magnus: Now he breaks into Turk’s Dance.
Phillips: I’m not sure he’s impressing much with these, but he's not letting up as he breaks into the electric shuffle.
Magnus: No here it is, every kids favorite dance the floss.
Phillips: He keeps going switching up over and over.
Magnus: This kid as so much stamina he could go all night.
Phillips: He's slowing now and wait, he's picking up speed.
Magnus: He's going so fast now. How can he do one dance for so long?
Phillips: And he's done. The crowd seems into it but the judge's not so much.
The two men towel down in their corners between rounds. The judges all whisper to one another. El Rey takes note of them and what they're saying and he doesn’t seem happy about it.
Round 2
With round two underway Dominicus steps back to the center of the ring. He takes a deep breath and then…
Magnus: He jumps and lands with his legs crossed.
Phillips: Now he’s jumped and uncrossed them.
Magnus: He does it again, but at a faster pace.
Phillips: I know what he’s doing, this is brilliant.
Magnus: It might be pandering to the judges, but if he pulls this off the young champ Can’t Touch This.
Phillips: And he’s pulling it off. A leap from left to right and there it is, the jumping spin.
Magnus: I can’t believe it, this is perfect. How many dances from the 80’s and 90’s does this man know.
Phillips: More than El Rey that’s for sure.
Magnus: And that’s it. He just did the full choreography of MC Hammer’s biggest hit and the Hammer is standing in his chair applauding.
As Lord Dominicus walks back to his corner El Rey looks over to Magnus and we can see a clear look of fear in his face. He steps to the center of the ring and takes a deep breath.
Magnus: He steps to the center of the ring and he’s gyrating.
Phillips: He’s sliding one foot, now he’s sliding the other.
Magnus: I think this is the Ski Mask dance.
Phillips: Yes it is. It’s popular on the clock app.
Magnus: You mean TikTok?
Phillips: That’s the one.
Magnus: Man he really has this one down.
Phillips: He does, the choreography is perfect, but the judges again don’t seem impressed.
Magnus: The champ really put himself behind in round one and even though he’s nailed this dance the judges seem to have him way behind.
Phillips: And he finishes it off with a flair, but he’s going to need another round like that to hold on to his title.
Magnus: And for Dominicus to land flat on his face in the final round.
The judges huddle together as in the ring both men begin to plot out their third and final dance. They seem to be both have a plan when the bell rings for round 3.
Round 3
Dominicus steps right out to the center of the ring. He winks at the champion and then raises his arm and slumps his head.
Phillips: Oh shit.
Magnus: He’s taking this X*Crown with No Strings Attached.
Phillips: He kicks his legs, he throws his arms out.
Magnus: He’s doing Justin’s dance,
Phillips: Now Lance’s.
Magnus: That’s JC’s choreography.
Phillips: Now Chris, now Joey, holy crap he’s doing all five members choreography!
Magnus: He’s in the champs face now and there it is!
Phillips: He just told the champ Bye Bye Bye right to his face.
Magnus: I think this match is over.
Phillips: This dance might not be, but El Rey’s title reign surely is. He can’t top this.
Magnus: All three judges are on their feet as he finishes up. What a showing by the challenger and he didn’t even know he’d be dancing tonight.
Dominicus walks back to his corner full of confidence as El Rey looks clearly concerned. He walks to the center of the ring and takes a deep breath.
Magnus: He’s starting hot hot with a front flip.
Phillips: Now a back flip.
Magnus: Now a handstand.
Phillips: He drops down into some serious flares.
Magnus: He kips up and lands on his feet and drops into the splits right in front of his opponent.
Phillips: Oh no! DICK PUNCH!
Dominicus doubles over in pain as the bell rings. Dominicus looks up struggling to breath from the deadly blow and mumbles.
Dominicus: That’s my bit damn it. Ow.....it really hurts. This is what it feels like?
Winner by disqualification: Lord Dominicus
STILL your X*Crown Champion: El Rey
El Rey stands up from the splits as Dominicus is helped out of the ring. The young champion smirks as he stares into the camera. He calls for the mic as the disappointed judges toss their notes in the trash and exit.
El Rey: You really thought I’d let that loser walk out of here with my crown? I worked my ass off to get here. I am your X*Crown Champion and my reign of terror is just beginning. One successful defense down and oh so many more to go. Next stop, that Japanese robot.
The credits roll as El Rey puts his crown back on his head and turns his nose up to the happy couples in the crowd.