Post by Visit Neom on Oct 17, 2022 8:03:07 GMT -5
(The shot opens on Marty Donovan sitting in the vast lobby of the Disney Contemporary resort. The colorful, giant mural is framed behind the wrestler as he rubs his brow in frustration.)
Marty: Evan, I am trying to be patient, but you just keep digging yourself deeper in the pit. I threw you a bone. I used a fraction of my genius and created a new, exciting concept - Reedy Creek Rules. How do you repay my kindness? You overbook like the novice promoter you are. Do you honestly expect me to go on after a world title match and this LA Freeway nonsense?
(Marty covers his mouth as if he is going to be sick for a moment.)
Marty: La Freeway match. Give me a break. I am morally opposed to the entire concept. Cars don't engage in senseless violence, they hang out with their friends in Radiator springs. They go on hilarious spy missions in Europe. Cars insure that future generations understand that life is indeed a highway and Big Donnie is going to ride it all night long.
(Marty lets out an arrogant scoff.)
Marty: Then we have this world title match. The crowd is going to be sitting on their hands all night, knowing they need to save up their energy for another Jose Mourinho inspired, defensive snore fest. AVB showed me he has talent at the house show at least. I hope he has what it takes to break through the Mancunian glass ceiling. Syberus on top is what killed this territory in the first place.
(Marty reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flyer for the show.)
Marty: Look at this. The venue holds 1,506 people. Evan, there are arenas in Wallingford, CT that can hold 5,000. I saw Boys II Men there in my teen years, hell, that fateful night is where I went from boy II man. The point is, are you even trying to turn a profit? Why are you running these bingo halls? Disney plus has a 3.7 percent churn rate. I need to get my message out to bigger crowds.
(Marty shakes his head.)
Marty: Normally, I demand to headline, but this is such a mess. I refuse to sit around for five hours and then walk out to a tired crowd. My match is going on first and you keep that limo running outside. You should have a backup commentator ready too. After the win I'm taking Phil over to Bar Cecil for some roasted, wild caught king crab legs.
(A waitress brings over a plate of mickey shaped pancakes. Grinning, he begins to dine and occasionally looks up to the camera.)
Marty: You should have accepted the handshake, Nat. I was ready to take you under my wing. I was going to teach you how to win in the ring and the boardroom. I had bought us matching Hawkeye cosplays. I was even humble enough to let you be the cool one. For you, I was willing to be the deaf one who is a prick in real life. James Fierce had already shaved his head and bought a white suit for the eventual six man tag.
(Marty reaches into his pocket and produces a photo. He holds it up for the camera to see. The shot shows Governor Ron DeSantis at a rally.)
Marty: It dawned on me, Nat. The only reason you didn't accept my handshake. No one in the world could possibly not like me. The fact is you're working for him. That crooked politician has been trying to bring down Disney forever. Ronald the clown saw what good work I was doing for the company and sent you here to ruin it all. He's set his sights on destroying Reed Creek, Walt's most sacred tax shelter, and he wants you to deliver the killing blow. I caught you red handed, blondie. You both have southern accents! Look, you're right there in the photo.
(Marty wildly points to a blurry person in the background of the shot. They appear to be an elderly, black woman. The camera pans out as the monorail pulls into the hotel lobby. It is hauling a giant metallic shipping container. A bank vault door, shaped like the iconic mickey ears, is attached to the container. The door is open and inside we see that the safe is filled with old Disney VHS boxes. The song Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah echoes from within.)
Marty: You want Reedy Creek? Well you're going to get it, bitch. The rules are simple. To win the match you must place your opponent inside the Disney Vault and then close the door. The loser will be locked away for all eternity with that movie we don't talk about. You know the one. It has a famous ride.
(Marty stands up and inspects the vault.)
Marty: There is more though. Both competitors must be dressed as Disney characters and the lights in the arena will be turned up to simulate the unforgiving Florida sun! Strewn about the arena are various Disney related weapons to use. You won't just have to fear my fists, but also replica lightsabers, 15 dollar EPCOT beers, and the historic picket fence signs Walt's animators made.
(Marty picks up one of the VHS tapes to inspect and then tosses it back into the vault.)
Marty: The most important rule of all, KILROY IS BANNED FROM RINGSIDE. Despite being in the south, Disney World is a classy place. Under no circumstances is that hick allowed to interfere. Nothing cute either. I don't want a mysterious stranger dancing out here in a Baloo costume. If an insult like that did occur then the washed up wrestler in question would find himself facing off with an army of plain clothes cast members. Trust me, those mouse ears are sharp!
(Marty looks straight into the camera.)
Marty: Say goodbye to your darling governor, Nat. I'm about to put you away forever.
(The monorail conductor runs into frame.)
Conductor: Sir! We just received a message from Emperor Chapek. He wants us to use the vault to store all the unsold Ms.Marvel merchandise.
Marty: That monster...
(The shot fades out as Marty shivers in terror.)
Marty: Evan, I am trying to be patient, but you just keep digging yourself deeper in the pit. I threw you a bone. I used a fraction of my genius and created a new, exciting concept - Reedy Creek Rules. How do you repay my kindness? You overbook like the novice promoter you are. Do you honestly expect me to go on after a world title match and this LA Freeway nonsense?
(Marty covers his mouth as if he is going to be sick for a moment.)
Marty: La Freeway match. Give me a break. I am morally opposed to the entire concept. Cars don't engage in senseless violence, they hang out with their friends in Radiator springs. They go on hilarious spy missions in Europe. Cars insure that future generations understand that life is indeed a highway and Big Donnie is going to ride it all night long.
(Marty lets out an arrogant scoff.)
Marty: Then we have this world title match. The crowd is going to be sitting on their hands all night, knowing they need to save up their energy for another Jose Mourinho inspired, defensive snore fest. AVB showed me he has talent at the house show at least. I hope he has what it takes to break through the Mancunian glass ceiling. Syberus on top is what killed this territory in the first place.
(Marty reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flyer for the show.)
Marty: Look at this. The venue holds 1,506 people. Evan, there are arenas in Wallingford, CT that can hold 5,000. I saw Boys II Men there in my teen years, hell, that fateful night is where I went from boy II man. The point is, are you even trying to turn a profit? Why are you running these bingo halls? Disney plus has a 3.7 percent churn rate. I need to get my message out to bigger crowds.
(Marty shakes his head.)
Marty: Normally, I demand to headline, but this is such a mess. I refuse to sit around for five hours and then walk out to a tired crowd. My match is going on first and you keep that limo running outside. You should have a backup commentator ready too. After the win I'm taking Phil over to Bar Cecil for some roasted, wild caught king crab legs.
(A waitress brings over a plate of mickey shaped pancakes. Grinning, he begins to dine and occasionally looks up to the camera.)
Marty: You should have accepted the handshake, Nat. I was ready to take you under my wing. I was going to teach you how to win in the ring and the boardroom. I had bought us matching Hawkeye cosplays. I was even humble enough to let you be the cool one. For you, I was willing to be the deaf one who is a prick in real life. James Fierce had already shaved his head and bought a white suit for the eventual six man tag.
(Marty reaches into his pocket and produces a photo. He holds it up for the camera to see. The shot shows Governor Ron DeSantis at a rally.)
Marty: It dawned on me, Nat. The only reason you didn't accept my handshake. No one in the world could possibly not like me. The fact is you're working for him. That crooked politician has been trying to bring down Disney forever. Ronald the clown saw what good work I was doing for the company and sent you here to ruin it all. He's set his sights on destroying Reed Creek, Walt's most sacred tax shelter, and he wants you to deliver the killing blow. I caught you red handed, blondie. You both have southern accents! Look, you're right there in the photo.
(Marty wildly points to a blurry person in the background of the shot. They appear to be an elderly, black woman. The camera pans out as the monorail pulls into the hotel lobby. It is hauling a giant metallic shipping container. A bank vault door, shaped like the iconic mickey ears, is attached to the container. The door is open and inside we see that the safe is filled with old Disney VHS boxes. The song Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah echoes from within.)
Marty: You want Reedy Creek? Well you're going to get it, bitch. The rules are simple. To win the match you must place your opponent inside the Disney Vault and then close the door. The loser will be locked away for all eternity with that movie we don't talk about. You know the one. It has a famous ride.
(Marty stands up and inspects the vault.)
Marty: There is more though. Both competitors must be dressed as Disney characters and the lights in the arena will be turned up to simulate the unforgiving Florida sun! Strewn about the arena are various Disney related weapons to use. You won't just have to fear my fists, but also replica lightsabers, 15 dollar EPCOT beers, and the historic picket fence signs Walt's animators made.
(Marty picks up one of the VHS tapes to inspect and then tosses it back into the vault.)
Marty: The most important rule of all, KILROY IS BANNED FROM RINGSIDE. Despite being in the south, Disney World is a classy place. Under no circumstances is that hick allowed to interfere. Nothing cute either. I don't want a mysterious stranger dancing out here in a Baloo costume. If an insult like that did occur then the washed up wrestler in question would find himself facing off with an army of plain clothes cast members. Trust me, those mouse ears are sharp!
(Marty looks straight into the camera.)
Marty: Say goodbye to your darling governor, Nat. I'm about to put you away forever.
(The monorail conductor runs into frame.)
Conductor: Sir! We just received a message from Emperor Chapek. He wants us to use the vault to store all the unsold Ms.Marvel merchandise.
Marty: That monster...
(The shot fades out as Marty shivers in terror.)