Post by Jonnie Valentine on Oct 21, 2022 23:32:17 GMT -5
("Sober" by Tool plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 18 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber...Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope...Lucifer Jones gives Devon Stevens a London Air Raid off the top rope through a table on the floor...Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa backflips off the cage, catching Brandi on the top turnbuckle on the way down with a inverted FireBird DDT...Death Gojira puts the ladder over Cobryn's head in the corner with his chest in the turnbuckle, then jumps off the top turnbuckle on the long end, see sawing him into the audience....Kilroy Evans jumps off a ringpost and elbow drops Death Gojira on a razor wire platform then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America". The shot then fades out to Hardkore Hall where the audience is cheering and holding up signs like "Welcome Home Adrian", "Vagabond is the Female Highlight Reel", "Break Cobryn's Arm Again...For Me?", "This is Tanner Country", "Reeee-ornk", "Cobryn Will Kill Bill", "Arizona Luvs Adrian", "Time for Mortal Kombat", "My Boy Kilroy", "The Un-Stable Rules" and "Adrian is a Desert Rat")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello, everyone and welcome to Phoenix. I'm Guillermo O'Bannon and I'm sweating my balls off in the 120 degree heat. But I'm not the only one stankin, to my right is Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: God never meant for people to live in a place like this. I'm sweatin out of places Vagabond only dreams about. Boone, I'm gonna need ice cubes applied to my nipples indefinately.
(Boone just stands there)
Phil Blauer: STAT!!
(Only a smoked shaped sillohuette of Matt Boone is still there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight we have our first Hardkore World Heavyweight title defense for Big Bad Bill as he takes on Cobryn. Cobryn won the right to be the first one to face after winning a threeway dance in San Diego with Adrian Tanner Jr. & Vincent Silvestri back in July of 2004! Big Bad Bill tore through such greats as Lucifer Jones, Death Gojira, "Nasty" Ned Chambers to defeat Cyrus Williams in the tournament for the most prestigious belt in the World. Bill is the only man to make Cobryn submit, upsetting him in a match for the Hardkore West Coast title at Hardkore Helloween 2004. A fact Cobryn is probably obsessing over.
Phil Blauer: In my best selling book, "Stalking Your Way into Her Heart" we explore that a little obsession isn't a bad thing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight, they face off in what is sure to be a classic wrestling match for one of the biggest prizes of any career. Death Gojira puts his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship up against Lucifer Jones, two of the most brutal wrestlers on the roster. Gojira earned himself another month with the title after surviving a awesome Double Hell match in Belfast, Northern Ireland. But he had to have left some of himself back there hanging on the razor wire. Lucifer Jones was also succesful at Irish Rage in Belfast defeating "The Punisher" Dan Stein in a blue bar steel cage. Both men have been through hell, but that's nothing compared to what they are in for tonight when they go head to head. Syberus will also take on Blak Lung for the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship.
Phil Blauer: What?? Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He won a contest for best commercial.
Phil Blauer: When did this place turn into a day camp?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then in what promises to be an exciting, high flying encounter "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defends her championship against Ashley. Ashley won a threeway dance among Vagabond and Alley to earn her chance here tonight. She is a two time former EWW Champ, as well as the president.
Phil Blauer: Isn't that like when Vince won the WWE title?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's like if Linda won the WWE title.
Phil Blauer: EWW is WWE backwards. That's something to think about.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No it isn't. "Sexy" Anjanette barely escaped Northern Ireland with her championship with Horror Girl as the special referee in her match with Tamara Sanchez. Tonight, she has to wrestle an accomplished veteran rarely seen in today's emphasis on T&A.
Phil Blauer: Bite your tongue!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's time for an old fashioned steel cage grudge match. "The Punisher" Dan Stein was the number one draft pick The Un-Stable had in mind to reform their headlining group. Dan Stein used them to hurt Lucifer Jones then swerved them to join up with Cobryn and Johnny Lee Harley. His partner, "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson is obsessed with proving what we already know, that wrestlers use steroids.
Phil Blauer: But Karnage is the exception, the only cycle that guy rides is his steroid cycle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't get it.
Phil Blauer: Read Dynamite Kid's book.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable put their newly won back World Championships on the line against these two in what is sure to be a brutal cage match. Then we have a rematch from Irish Rage in Belfast, The Shootfighter puts his Hardkore West Coast title on the line against Nick Knight's Knephew "The Excellance of Elegance" Zack Daniels. Daniels impressed alot of people in Ireland, including me.
Phil Blauer: Not me. Wait, is he the seven foot guy who does the unprettier and calls it a Brunoprettier?
Guillermo O'Bannon: But Shootfighter has been hanging on to that title like Boone does with his Penthouse when his mom cleans his room. He has the stiff shots that can change anybody's title plans. Another match I'm looking forward to is the match to see who will face the Hardkore World Women's Champion at The Staples Center next month. Tamara Sanchez, Alley, Vampira, Horror Girl, and Vagabond will all match wills and try to outlast one another to be the number one contender.
Phil Blauer: Then it's time for a rematch from the last time we were here. Last time, Adrian Tanner Jr. wrestled Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Stan "The Tank" Wilson in his hometown.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian's from Tucson.
Phil Blauer: You say funny words that make me laugh.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, last time, Stan Wilson was able to chokeslam his way to victory in that match and Tanner is sure to be looking for revenge. Then it's time for the Hardkore America debut of the "Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. He takes on Kilroy Evans who is still licking his wounds after that terrifying Double Hell match. And High Maintenance tries to get back on track after losing their World Tag Team titles with a match with the brutal Warhammer Corporation.
(The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop which forces the crowd to cover their ears with their hands. They boo and rock the America West Arena. The Microshocker walks out through the curtain and is almost blown back by the hatred. He shivers with extacsy and rubs his Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship belt. Bad Boy King Kong gooses his behind from the back and The Shock jumps a mile. Bad Boy King Kong carries The Shock's laptop computer named Mr. Computer. They tickle each other and then walk down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker shocked the world in Northern Ireland when he won his first World Championship with Rally Jackson & Big Bad Bill.
Phil Blauer: It almost makes the years of losing worth it.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Almost.
Yolanda Ando: The Shock wears a glittering grey body suit with the ass cut out & bare midriff. Seriously.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The America West Arena. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine presents tonight's bill of wrestling action. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager and life companion, Bad Boy King Kong; From Seattle, Washington; Weighing 200 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
(The Phoenix fans boo and jeer The Shock as Bad Boy King Kong holds him up in a disturbing reverse electric chair. Then "Chilly Water" by Widespread Panic plays, Andrew Sinclair gets a mixed reaction, mostly because of how much everyone hates The Shock. He walks down to the ring, staring a hole through The Shock & Bad Boy King Kong)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes Andrew Sinclair who mistakenly helped The Un-Stable win the Hardkore World Tag Team titles at Ulster Hall. Also on that same show, Sinclair made quick work of Blak Lung.
Phil Blauer: Who doesn't?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!"
(The Phoenix fans applaud out of respect. Bad Boy King Kong gives The Microshocker a kiss on the cheek for good luck. Ron Reid signals for the bell to ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair tosses The Microshocker across the ring with a rolling ipponzei. Another one! The Shock is barely up before Sinclair knocks him silly with a running high kick!
(The Shock rolls out of the ring and signals for a timeout. Bad Boy King Kong checks his nose for blood. He gives him some advice in his ear and then starts tounging it)
Phil Blauer: That's ill.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shock is back in the ring and has a whole new gameplan for this match. He goes to lock up with Andrew Sinclair, but Sinclair spins around into a uraken spinning backfist. Sinclair pops him in the face with an elbow to the face.
(Sinclair pops The Microshocker with a second elbow smash and then dumps him over his shoulder with an exploder '98. Sinclair bounces into the ropes but Bad Boy King Kong grabs his boot. Sinclair doesn't trip, but turns around and points at his bodyguard)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shock follows Sinclair in with a knee to his kidneys. The Microshocker scoops Sinclair up and bodyslams him.
(The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a frog splash, but Sinclair puts his knees up! Shock rolls around clutching his stomach. Sinclair full nelsons The Microshocker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair dragon suplexes The Microshocker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker rolls his arm up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair runs into the ropes and clips The Shock in the face with a jumping knee. He fireman's carries him up onto his shoulders and then drops him on his head with a death valley driver!
(Andrew Sinclair bounces off the ropes and rains down on The Microshocker's forehead with a crisp kneedrop. Some pockets of the audience applaud)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair hits The Shock with a uranage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Bad Boy King Kong pushes his ass off the ropes and The Shock powerslams Sinclair!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gets to his feet and kicks him in his side. He then spins around into a roundhouse kick! He goes to kick him in the stomach but The Shock catches his foot.
(Andrew Sinclair hops on one foot, while The Shock holds on to his boot. Sinclair then whips around in an enzuigiri! The fans pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair runs into the ropes and rolls into a koppo kick! He german suplexes The Microshocker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a Bombs Away kneedrop!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong tries to roll under the ropes but he's too fat. He slides Mr. Computer in for The Microshocker but Andrew Sinclair picks it up instead. He bashes Bad Boy King Kong on the head with it!!
(The audience cheers, but The Microshocker is on the top turnbuckle. Sinclair turns around and The Shock hops off with a flying eye poke. Sinclair drops Mr. Computer and covers his eyes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: An F2 neckbreaker by The Microshocker! He pulls Sinclair up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes. The Shock hits him on the way back with a huracanrana but Sinclair reverses it into a powerbomb!!
(The crowd pops as The Microshocker clutches the small of his back. Sinclair runs into the ropes and soccer kicks in the chest. The sound of the air leaving The Shock's chest is heard throughout the America West Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair dragon screw legwhips The Shock to the mat and applies a hizajugigatame cross knee-bar. The Shock's girlish screams are ear splitting.
Phil Blauer: He doesn't do well with pain. In retrospect pro wrestling could have been a bad career choice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair could break The Shock's leg any time he wants. It seems he's just toying with him. He pulls him up and lifts him up into a suplex, but drops him into a Go to the ER kneestrike!! The Shock is done!
(Bad Boy King Kong runs into the ring and clubs Sinclair from behind! The Phoenix fans boo loudly, and Bad Boy King Kong irish whips him into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong crushes Sinclair with 489 pounds of fat lovin! The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes down on Sinclair's chest with a butt bomb!!
(Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans run out from the entranceway. The audience cheers wildly)
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable is coming for me! Hide me!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III has had some words for Andrew Sinclair sticking his nose in their tag team title match. Kilroy Evans is the first to hit the ring, and he pulls Sinclair up by the hair.
(Kilroy Evans lands a stiff side kick into Andrew Sinclair's guts and the Phoenix audience gasps. Robert Hunglestien III pulls Sinclair's head into his legs and butterflies his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III delivers The High Life on Andrew Sinclair!!
Phil Blauer: What? Why are The Un-Stable helping The Microshocker?? Unless...their gay! I knew it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker confusedly climbs to the top turnbuckle and then comes off with a elbow drop!! He covers Sinclair as Hunglestien laughs maniacally on the outside!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the fans boo. The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it, Robert Hunglestien III and The Un-Stable just caused The Microshocker to get his first win in Hardkore America in six years!
Phil Blauer: Everyone will remember where they were this night! I'll remember I was shifting in my seat uncomfortably, wondering why we can't get cushier chairs.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 8 minutes 1 second; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
(Bad Boy King Kong holds Microshocker up in the air as they soak in the boos. The Phoenix fans litter the ring with garbage. Suddenly High Maintenance run into the ring with chairs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards pounds on Kilroy Evans back with that steel chair!! Bad Boy King Kong surprises Andrew Sinclair with a bearhug!
(The Phoenix fans boo as "New Sensation" Nathan Slater catches Robert Hunglestien III with a superkick! "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson runs down to the ring and the audience gets louder)
Phil Blauer: He showed up! I definately WILL remember where I was tonight now that Rally has shown up for his match!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally rolls into the ring and kawada kicks Andrew Karnage in the chest! Jonathan Richards hart attacks Sinclair off the ropes! The fans are about to riot!
(Jonathan Richards electric chairs Kilroy Evans up on his shoulders while Nathan Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle. He comes off the top rope with a flying bulldog to Kilroy Evans!! The audience chants "You Suck Dick". Nathan Slater shakes his head frantically, that no, he does not)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson double underhooks Andrew Karnage up on to his shoulders and then flips him up onto his shoulder. He takes three big steps into the center of the ring and Grasshopper Drivers him!!
(Rally hops up and bows to the audience who boo him. Bad Boy King Kong irish whips Andrew Karnage into the turnbuckle chestfirst. He gets a running start and avalanches his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong gives Andrew Karnage "The Preferable Form of Avalanche '05"!! His name...not mine.
Phil Blauer: Liar. Jonathan Richards full nelsons Andrew Sinclair and Nathan Lane kicks him right in the balls!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slater.
Phil Blauer: Hmm?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater kicked him in the balls. Not Nathan Lane. He's an actor.
Phil Blauer: Did I? Why do I keep thinking his name is Nathan Lane?
(Crowd chants "You Suck Dick" at Nathan Slater)
Phil Blauer: I can't think of why I would confuse Nathan Slater, the former Hardkore World Tag Team Champion, and Nathan Lane, the star of The Bird Cage.
(The entire America West Arena chants "YOU SUCK DICK" at Nathan Slater, who stands on the second rope, singling fans out in the front row for his venom)
Phil Blauer: I can't put my finger on it.
("YOU SUCK DICK!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenance hold Andrew Sinclair's legs down and The Microshocker wobbles over, still woozy and goes to bite Sinclair's jewels...but Tarrasque hits the ring and clocks The Microshocker!
Phil Blauer: Who would have thought Tarrasque would stop a groin attack?? The irony!
Guillermo O'Bannon: "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix is in the ring as well and superkicks Rally Jackson upside the head!
(The crowd pops for The Warhammer Corporation, and Rally Jackson rolls out of the ring and heads back to the locker room. Robert Hunglestien III whacks Jonathan Richards with an flurry of elbow uppercuts. Vastrix & Tarrasque's manager Lucius Morgan walks down to the ring with a smirk on his face. The audience goes crazy as Tarrasque grabs The Microshocker by the throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque chokeslams The Microshocker over the top rope to the apron!! The Shock's back hits that apron and then he slides off onto the America West Arena floor! Kilroy Evans hits Nathan Slater with The Bad Touch!!
(The fans are deafening as Robert Hunglestien knocks Jonathan Richards back into Jeremiah Vastrix with a elbow smash off the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards backs into Jeremiah Vastrix who double chicken wings him. He tangles his legs up with Richards' and trips him facefirst into the mat!!
(America West Arena event staff comes down to the ring and seperates The Un-Stable, Andrew Sinclair, and The Dark Ryderz Movement at ringside. Mike Peters slides into the ring and signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: And apparantly our next match is underway!
Guillermo O'Bannon: And we'll bring it to you right after this commercial break!
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Aug 15, 2005#2
***commercial***
Phil Blauer: Hi, I'm TV's Phil Blauer. If you're like anyone these days, you know all about me. But what you might not know is that I am a quarter Jewish on my mother's side. I think. You see, Grandpa Rob never got me that pony I asked for, and his birthday checks were always a little on the light side, but either way a quarter of me is one of the Chosen People. This Yom Kippor, I decided to take what I do, describing wrestling moves to our blind viewers, and apply it to the often overlooked quarter of the wrestling population. That's why, this Yom Kippor, I will have Phil Blauer's Yom Kippor Wrestling Spectacular! It'll be a All Star wrestling card of wrestling's classic Jewish characters:
Main Event:
Bill Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
Phil Blauer's Jewish Tag Team Titles
Randy Savage & Lanny Poffo
vs.
The Nasty Boys
Raven vs. Billy Kidman managed by Paul Heyman
Michael "PS" Hayes vs. Marc Mero managed by Missy Hyatt
Kane vs. A-Train managed by Joel Gertner
Moondog Spot vs. Barry Horowitz
Dean Malenko vs. Diamond Dallas Page
David Flair vs. Matt Stryker
Plus a special Yahrzeit for Andy Kaufman, Herb Abrams, The Grand Wizard, and Boris Malenko
Phil Blauer: Come on, don't be a schmuck. You've seen Sting, Road Warrior Animal, Ted Dibiase and Nikita Koloff making money off their guy...I mean spreading the Word. Why shouldn't we?
***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oy vey! Welcome back fans, security has dragged The Un-Stable and The Dark Ryderz Movement, & Andrew Sinclair back to the locker room individually. Now we're left with The Warhammer Corporation & High Maintenance in a great tag team match! Vastrix smacks Richards with a knife edge chop you can hear through The America West Arena!
Phil Blauer: Jeremiah Vastrix inside cradles Jonathan Richards!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Nathan Slater stomps the back of Vastrix' head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque runs into the ring and clotheslines Slater! Jeremiah Vastrix gets behind Richards with an orton backbreaker! Vastrix runs into the corner and hops onto the second rope. He springs backward into a 180 degree turn body press but Richards catches him and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards scoops Vastrix up and drops him down onto his knee with a shoulderbreaker. Vastrix lands near his corner and tags in Tarrasque. Richards takes a swing at Tarrasque but he ducks and backslides him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jonathan Richards gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips Richards into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a clothesline, but Richards is ready for him with a big boot!
(The audience boos, Jonathan Richards then hits the stunned two time Hardkore America Champion with a diamond cutter! He pulls Tarrasque up and starts battering him with forearms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards hammering away on Tarrasque but Tarrasque is no-selling them. He glares at a scared looking Richards and bearhugs him!
(Richards cries out in pain as Tarrasque walks him over to the ropes and hotshots him on the top rope! Tarrasque then dares Richards to tag in Nathan Slater. The partners look at one another confused and do so)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater in the ring now and they double dropkick Tarrasque!
Phil Blauer: Little hard to no sell that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater hiptosses Tarrasque over. He bulldogs the big man! Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Lucius Morgan climbs up and shakes the ropes, crotching him on the top! Tarrasque runs into the ropes and diving tackles Slater to the floor!!
(The crowd cheers as Nathan Slater uncomfortably tumbles to the floor! Tarrasque rolls out to the floor and grabs Slater by the hair. He bashes Slater's face into the corner post)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque winds back and slams Nathan Slater's face into the ringpost! Slater's busted open! Tarrasque presses Slater over his head and drops his throat on the guardrail!
(Slater walks on his knees, clutching his throat, as blood runs down his face. Tarrasque rolls into the ring and tags in "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix. Slater climbs up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix suplexes Slater over the ropes and drops his head on his knee!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix spinning toe holds Slater, and then stomps his ankle.
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who knows? Vastrix irish whips Slater into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Slater flips over him into a sunset flip!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix claps his legs together on Slater's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater armdrags Vastrix over, and again. He inverted atomic drops Jeremiah into the corner. He tags in Jonathan Richards. They irish whip Jeremiah Vastrix into the ropes and double back body drop him!
(The fans boo. Jonathan Richards presses Jeremiah Vastrix over his head, and benches him three times before dropping his stomach onto his knee in a gutbuster)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and clotheslines him. He shoots him into the ropes a second time and backdrops him, but Vastrix lands on his feet behind him. He whacks Richards with a knife edge to his ribs. Vastrix irish whips him into the ropes and then baseball slide kicks his ankle, sending him tumbling out of the ring!
(Jeremiah Vastrix tags in Tarrasque. Tarrasque scoops Richards up and drops his back onto the railing! Richards arches his back in agony. Tarrasque then rolls him onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque scoops Jonathan Richards up and then comes off the apron with a powerslam on to the guardrail!!
(The crowd comes alive with cheers, Richards crawls on the mat, clutching his back. He pulls Richards' head into his legs, then flips him up on to his shoulder. He facefirst powerbombs his chest on to the railing!! The Phoenix fans cheer as Richards falls into the front row)
Phil Blauer: I've never heard a crowd cheer for The Warhammer Corporation like this since they saved the Rockford Dungeons & Dragons conventions by bringing extra cheetos.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque pulls Jonathan Richards over the railing, then battering rams his face & chest into the ringpost!! Richards spins around with a large gash over his eye! Both members of High Maintenance bleeding heavily now!
(Tarrasque rolls a bloody Jonathan Richards into the ring and then steps into the ring as well. He hooks him up for a suplex, but Richards blocks it with his calf. Jonathan Richards reverses it with a brainbuster)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards grabs Tarrasque by the throat and hits him with a derailer bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque tags in Jeremiah Vastrix who comes in and takes a bloody Richards out with a leaping roundhouse kick! Vastrix irish whips him but Richards reverses it and sends him into the ropes. Rolls Royce tiltawhirls Vastrix into a backbreaker!
(Richards irish whips Vastrix into the ropes again and drives him headfirst into the canvas with an emerald fusion!! The America West Arena crowd boos while Richards rolls him over into a pin)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards pulls Vastrix up by the hair and God's Gift uppercut heart punches him in the chest. Richards backs away, covering his chest. Vastrix runs into the ropes but Rolls Royce drops him with a shoulderblock.
(Richards tags in Nathan Slater, and applies an abdominal stretch. Nathan Slater bounces into the ropes, and cracks the unprotected face of Jeremiah Vastrix with a superkick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater cradles him with a handful of Vastrix's bodysuit!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jeremiah Vastrix gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater grabs him by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab. Vastrix tries to crawl over to the ropes, but Slater holds on to his legs.
(The crowd boos High Maintenance. Blood runs down Slater's face as he bends Vastrix's legs backwards, when suddenly Vastrix powers out of it. Vastrix knife edge uppercuts Slater in the face. Tarrasque enters the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque puts his knee out and Jeremiah Vastrix bulldogs Slater's stomach onto it!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix scoops Nathan Slater up but Slater falls behind him with an inverted facelock. He lifts him up into a gourdbuster!
(Slater tags in Jonathan Richards. Richards grabs Vastrix by the legs while Nathan Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle. Richards lifts Vastrix up into a wheelbarrow with a legdrop!! The audience boos as Jonathan Richards makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards wipes some blood out of his eyes and pulls Vastrix up high in the air with a crucifix, then powerbombs him hard into the mat!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards scoops Jeremiah Vastrix up and then swings him around into a catatonic uranage!!
(Audience boos, and Richards lifts his arms in victory. He pulls Vastrix up and irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Vastrix runs up the turnbuckles, hops onto the middle of the top rope and comes off with a roundhouse kick! The crowd cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix stomps Richards in the mouth, and then climbs to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jonathan Richards kicks out)
(Richards spits some blood out. Jeremiah Vastrix tags in Tarrasque and then climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tarrasque sits Richards on the top turnbuckle, facing Vastrix. Vastrix hooks him in an inverted headlock, and Tarrasque climbs up to the second turnbuckle, hooking Richards in a waistlock. Tarrasque german superplexes Richards as Vastrix comes down with them with an inverted bulldog)
Phil Blauer: The Warhammer Corporation stole The Silver Lining!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Nathan Slater stomps the back of Tarrasque's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips Jonathan Richards into the ropes and hits a huracanrana! He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and then hops off with a double foot stomp to the groin!!
(America West Arena cheers as Richards sits up, clutching his plums. Tarrasque pulls him up and irish whips him into the ropes. Jonathan Richards punt kicks him in the face as Tarrasque tries to backdrop him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards piledrives Tarrasque!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards cobra clutches Tarrasque and then bulldogs him on to his face & arm! He pulls Tarrasque up, but Tarrasque applies a claw to his temples.
(Tarrasque scoops Richards and bodyslams him. Tarrasque tags in Jeremiah Vastrix. Vastrix irish whips him into the ropes, but hangs on to his arm and drags him to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix pulls Richards up and pulls him back up by the hair onto his knee!
(Richards gets to his feet and ducks under a knife edge chop, so he lifts Vastrix up in an inverted crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A very bloody Jonathan Richards drops Vastrix on his face with an inverted razor's edge powerbomb!! He grabs a facedown God's Gift by the legs and begins swinging him around & round. He gets him high enough for a wheelbarrow suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix staggers to his feet but Jonathan Richards drops him with an x factor!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
(Jonathan Richards tags in Nathan Slater. He lifts Vastrix up and then powerbombs him onto Richard's knee!! The fans boo as Slater makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slater monkey flips Vastrix across the ring. He drives Vastrix's skull into the mat with a DDT!
(Vastrix rolls out of the way of a legdrop by Slater. He gets up and presses Nathan Slater over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix drops Slater into an ace crusher!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix lifts Slater up into a weak bomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jonathan Richards stomps the back of Vastrix's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix irish whips Slater into the ropes but Slater jumps over the sweep kick and comes back with a flying body press with a handful of Jeremiah Vastrix's bodysuit!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater tags in Jonathan Richards, and then electric chairs him up on his shoulders. Richards comes off the top turnbuckle with a flying bulldog!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd boos, as "Get Down" by Everlast plays. Gavin Slater runs into the ring and celebrates with High Maintenance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenance has defeated The Warhammer Corporation!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 13 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH...HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: These two teams warred for over twenty minutes but in the end it is the SWAT free agents that get the win.
(Gavin Slater helps a blood drenched Jonathan Richards back to the locker room, as Nathan Slater celebrates ahead of them, arms raised in the air)
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Aug 15, 2005#3
***commercial***
Coming this October (or December)
to Cleveland, Ohio
The Gund Arena
HARDKORE HELLOWEEN 2006
Champions come and go, but only one man will be Hardkore for the whole year long...
***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is a match between two established veterans, Tatsuya Arakawa. We have a small army of Japanese photographers here to cover it for Hardkore Nippon.
Phil Blauer: What else do they have to do?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has been moping around lately, since losing not only his tag team titles but his Double Hell Match with Death Gojira in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Phil Blauer: Nothing sadder than seeing a fat man cry.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa isn't much happier, he didn't even get to have a match at Irish Rage in Belfast because the cowardly Cobryn and his partner Johnny Lee Harley attacked them before the match and shaved Cyrus head.
Phil Blauer: "The Cowardly Cobryn"? I smell a t-shirt. No, wait it's a little gamey. That's me.
("TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the audience boos. Tatsuya Arakawa comes down to the ring followed by Tom Lux. Tom Lux clears a path for Arakawa, knocking away angry fans hands and signs. He sees a sign with a picture of a bald Cyrus Williams and rips it up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa is a seasoned vet of mat wars in Japan and now comes here to avenge the name of his mentor and friend, Cyrus Williams.
Phil Blauer: Cyrus has friends?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's what is says here on the prompter.
Yolanda Ando: Tatsuya wears black biker style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in blood red high black boots, Black TRACE kneepads, black wrist tape, plus two strands of black tape around his ring & middle finger on both hands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Tom Lux; From Shimo-tsuga-gun, Tochigi, Japan; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds...'SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
(The America West Arena boos, but Arakawa ignores them; stoically staring down the aisleway. Then "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the crowd jumps to their feet. Kilroy Evans walks down to the aisle waving to them, then slides under the ring and jumps to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans looking to get a singles win after going through a losing streak of late.
Phil Blauer: How many has he lost?
Guillermo O'Bannon: One tag team match, one title match?
Phil Blauer: Maybe he should talk to Tony Thunder or Blak Lung to get some perspective.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Have you ever tried to talk to Tony Thunder? He still says "gnarly" & "tubular".
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy Evans is wearing a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt with blue jeans short and a brown belt. He wears some red, white, & blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The crowd gives out the biggest pop of the night for Kilroy Evans as he waves back at them. Ron Reid signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: Did I tell you about my latest acting gig?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I didn't know you were an actor?
Phil Blauer: Neither did I? But I recently did so well during my allocution at my recent trial, that my lawyer said I should get into pictures. He gets coke from the same guy Eric McCormick does, so he got me a shot on Will & Grace.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wow, really?
Phil Blauer: Yup. I'm going to do the new thing us mainstream actors do. You see, I'm going to play a gay guy and really test my acting skills.
Guillermo O'Bannon: How does that make you a good actor?
Phil Blauer: Because I'm not going to seem gay at all. That's acting! Queer as Folk here I cum! Wait, how did I spell that?
(Guillermo slides his chair away from Phil)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa tags Kilroy Evans with a couple of thigh kicks, and then goes wild on him with a flurry of punches! He spins around with a uraken backhand!
(Kilroy Evans catches one of Arakawa's punches and wraps up his arm. Tatsuya tries to punch him with a left hand, but Kilroy catches that one as well)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans batters Arakawa with a series of headbutts, then drops down to his knees with a jawbreaker. Kilroy irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and karate chops him in the throat!
(Arakawa gets up and attempts to kick him but Kilroy Evans catches his boot. Tatsuya swings his other leg around into an inzuigiri! The audience boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa snap mares Kilroy over and then roundhouse kicks him a few times in the back that you can hear throughout the America West Arena. The Saikyo Terrorist then delivers a vicious axe kick to the back of his head.
(Tatsuya Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the corner so hard that he falls on his ass. Arakawa runs in with a running knee smash to his face! Kilroy's head bounces back off of the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up to his feet but The Attbury Assassin springs on him and bites his forehead! Arakawa screams in pain, and then Kilroy Evans lifts him up into a falcon arrow!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and then drives him into the mat with a sidewalk slam! He pulls Arakawa up by the hair and Tatsuya hits him with a shotei palm strike. Kilroy stands there stunned until Arakawa floors him with a yakuza kick!
(The America West Arena boos Tatsuya Arakawa. He irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes and then hits him with a flying kneelift! He steps over Kilroy and then pulls back on his twisted arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa applies a kneeling wakigatame on Kilroy. Evans balls up his fist in pain as Arakawa pulls back on his arm with both hands. Kilroy finally hiptosses him over. Tatsuya Arakawa rushes him but Kilroy flips him over with a belly to belly suplex!
(The crowd cheers. Kilroy Evans steps over him with and sticks both of his fingers in Arakawa's eyes and sticks his thumb in to his mouth. The fans scream with joy as Arakawa kicks his feet in the mat in pain. Tom Lux screams at the Ron Reid to disqualify him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ties Arakawa in the second & top ropes. The crowd here in Phoenix applauds Tatsuya's position, then Kilroy Evans running spears him to the floor!! He slides under the ropes and then leans Arakawa against the ringpost. He backs up and then spears him again into the corner post!!
(Arakawa collapses to the floor and the fans pop for Kilroy Evans. He rolls Arakawa onto the apron, and then climbs up as well. Evans gets up and but Arakawa blocks a punch and hits him with a flurry of chops on the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa DDTs Kilroy Evans off of the apron onto the floor!!
(The fans have to give it up for that move and applauds The Saikyo Terrorist! Evans rolls over and is busted open. Tatsuya Arakawa rolls him into the ring and then enters himself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops him on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!! He rolls him over and makes the pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa applies an anklelock, wraps his legs around Kilroy's thigh and then drops to the mat. Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out, but Evans refuses as blood freely runs down his face.
(The audience boos Arakawa, while Tom Lux tells them to quiet down. Arakawa wrenches Evans foot to the side, and he cries out in pain. Evans works his way up to his feet and is hopping on one foot)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans smacks Arakawa upside the head with an inzuigiri! He lifts Tatsuya up in a suplex and then drives him facefirst into the mat with a dropsy gourdbuster! He irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex! He climbs to the top rope, but Arakawa rolls out of the way!! He runs into the ropes and takes Kilroy off his feet with a rolling solebutt roundhouse kick!
(Tatsuya Arakawa applies a jujigatame to Kilroy Evans' arm. Ron Reid checks in to see if Kilroy wants to tap out. A small pool of blood forms where Kilroy's head rests)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa goes back to the arm with that cross arm scissors. Tom Lux is beating on the apron to root on his charge. Arakawa releases the jujigatame and pulls Kilroy up by his arm, and uses it to whip him into the ropes. He hooks him with an Aki Lariot!
(The crowd jeers and boos Arakawa. Arakawa pulls Kilroy up into a powerbomb but Kilroy rolls through on to his feet in front of Tatsuya. He kicks Arakawa in the gut and then double arm DDTs him! The fans pop as Kilroy steps over him and applies a camel clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The grisly mess that is Kilroy Evans is pulling back on the head of Tatsuya Arakawa! That Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt is covered in blood, but it looks as though the Saikyo Terrorist is the one in trouble right now. Kilroy releases the camel clutch and pulls Arakawa to his feet...alabama slam!! Kilroy then flips over with his legs into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips him but Arakawa reverses the irish whip and sends Kilroy into the corner. He charges in with a Running Face Erasure Kick!
(Kilroy Evans staggers out of the corner and collapses facefirst to the mat. Blood leaks out from his large gash over his eye. Arakawa applies a guillotine choke and wraps his legs around Evans' torso)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa choking the life out of Kilroy Evans while his legs attempt to squeeze all the air out of his body.
Phil Blauer: That's a whole lot of body to squeeze. He needs three legs. Not my third leg though. That'd be weird.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid tests Kilroy Evans' arm but he keeps it up in the air. Arakawa clamps down on Evans' windpipe with that powerful arm. But Kilroy doesn't tap much, and so Tatsuya releases the guillotine choke. He waistlocks him and hits a deadlift german suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy ducks under a leaping Gamengiri kick and knocks him silly with a jumping roundhouse kick! He gets behind Arakawa and applies a cobra clutch!
(Tatsuya Arakawa tries to fight out of it but Kilroy has it cinched in tight. Arakawa drops down to his ass for a jawbreaker, but Kilroy avoids his head. He locks on an on the mat version of the cobra clutch. Tom Lux tries to keep his client awake with his inccesant screaming)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans stomps his boot into the mat three times to load it.
Phil Blauer: Load it with what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He borrowed Iron Shiek's boot.
Phil Blauer: So what's Iron Sheik wearing?
Guillermo O'Bannon: A wonder bread bag. A bloody Kilroy Evans runs and nails Tatsuya Arakawa in the head with his loaded boot! He covers Arakawa and hooks both legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans picks Arakawa up in a powerbomb but Arakawa takes him over with a flying head scissors! He gets behind him with a rear naked choke with a body scissors!
Phil Blauer: Arakawa seemingly obsessed with choking Kilroy out!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans arms flailing wildly as he reaches out for the ropes. If he doesn't get to them soon, this match will be over.
(The Phoenix crowd boos Arakawa. Kilroy Evans rolls over on to his side and grabs on to the bottom rope. Ron Reid asks Arakawa to break the hold. He doesn't, so Reid gives him a five count)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Come on, break the damn hold!
Phil Blauer: Easy, Cole.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa finally does but the damage is done. He lifts Kilroy Evans up into a MASSIVE bomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Kilroy Evans lifts his shoulder)
(Audience applauds Kilroy Evans' tenacity. Arakawa waits for Kilroy Evans to get up and then runs at him with an STO Bomber)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans stands up and is knocked silly with a Gamengiri kick that sends him through the ropes to the floor!
(Audience gasps at the sound the kick makes against Kilroy Evans' bloody skull. Tatsuya Arakawa steps through the ropes and Tom Lux calls him over for a conference)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa getting some advice from his manager.
Phil Blauer: You would think they would have gone over this before the match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs up behind Arakawa and piggybacks on to his back, driving his face into the ringpost!
(Fans roar, and Kilroy Evans pulls a now bleeding Arakawa's head into his legs. He piledrives him on the concrete!! Tatsuya leaves a blood stain where his head hit the America West Arena floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans on fire now and rolls Arakawa into the ring. He climbs to the top rope and comes off with a flying elbow!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans powerbombs Arakawa!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa grabs Kilroy by the shirt and strikes him with a couple high Muay Thai style kneelifts to the stomach, and ends the combo with a kneelift to jaw! Kilroy sits up but Arakawa comes off the ropes with a TAK soccer style kick to his chest! He lifts him up with a vertical drop brainbuster, but Kilroy falls behind him with a Bad Touch!!
(The audience leaps to their feet. Kilroy Evans back suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa into a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the America West Arena cheers the Attbury Assassin. Tom Lux slaps his hand to his forehead. "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays over the PA system)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 17 minutes 51 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The fans jeer as a bleeding Tatsuya leaves the ring with his manager holding his arm in the air for victory. Kilroy Evans celebrates on the second rope waving to the cheering fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa came at Kilroy Evans, who must still be feeling the effects of that barbed wire hell match in Northern Ireland, with a stiff Japanese style that you could hear throughout this arena. But Kilroy was able to pull it out at the end.
Phil Blauer: It'll be interesting to see if Death Gojira suffers from the same weakness in his Hardkore America title match with Lucifer Jones later on tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Last time we were here in Phoenix, Adrian Tanner Jr. and Stan Wilson burned down the house with a match for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship!
(Video fades out to their last match dated 8/14/04)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner hits a blockbuster, then climbs to the top rope.
(Tanner points to his family and then he leaps.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Corkscrew 180 splash off the top rope!!!
----
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Stan with a big boot sending Tanner over the ropes to the floor below.
Phil Blauer: The Tank and the Tanner clan jawing it up on the outside! The fans love them some Stan, but they love their home town boy even more!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson sets up a table right in front of Adrian's family!
(One of Adrian's brothers knocks the table over. Furious, Stan grabs him around his throat only to have David Grey break him up. He sets back up the table, grabs A.T.J. and sends him through to the floor with the Alabama Slam.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A mean, gutteral laugh from Big Stan right in the face of Adrian's brother.
---
(Adrian springboards from the apron, off the ropes, onto Wilson. He grabs his head and nails a spinning DDT driving Big Stan's big head into the floor.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: When Amare Stoudemire asks why there's a soft spot at center court, you show up this tape and tell him Stan "The Tank" Wilson needed an Attitiude Adjustment!!!
---
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner, back to the air, he hits a double jump moonsault! This could be it, we could have a new champion!
Referee David Grey: 1...2...(Stan kicks out)
(Tanner springboards off the top rope into a rana but Stan catches him and drops him with a dominator spinebuster.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore America Champion raises his right hand in the air in the universal sign for chokeslam. He's got Tanner over 7 feet in the air!!! Chokeslam!!!
Referee David Grey: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The winner of this match, at 10 minutes 35 seconds, and still Hardkore America Champion....STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!!!"
(Video fades back to present day America West Arena)
Phil Blauer: Wow, was that a year ago?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sure was, Phil.
Phil Blauer: It seems so much longer. Does Amare Stoudamire even play basketball anymore?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yes. Stan Wilson recently turned on his partners, Bruno and Tony Thunder in Northern Ireland to cost them the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles. Now he comes back to Arizona with a new attitude, but Adrian Tanner Jr. has the hometown advantage. He's looking to avenge his last loss here in Hardkore America.
(The America West Arena house lights dim to black and The Phoenix crowd blows the roof off. Spliced footage from Metal Gear Solid III appears on the screen)
Phil Blauer: Isn't that a video game?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah.
Phil Blauer: Why...
Guillermo O'Bannon: I dunno.
(Revolver Ocelot: Hold it right there, traitor. Let's find out just how lucky you are.
(Ocelot reveals a bullet for his revolver. He loads the bullet)
Ocelot: Watch closely. (takes out three revolvers)
Ocelot: One of these three guns has a single bullet in it. I'm going to pull the trigger six times in a row. Are you ready?
(Ocelot juggles the three guns. Each time he pulls a trigger, Sokolov winces. The fifth time a trigger is pulled, Sokolov pisses his pants)
Ocelot: Looks like your luck hasn't run out yet.
(The sixth time, the gun fires and the screen shatters into a million pieces as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers)
[There were times when I questioned my reasons
Thought I wouldn't last]
Phil Blauer: Oh god, another one of these? Why do I have to know the lyrics to these gay ass songs?
(black and white footage of Adrian Tanner matches flash across the screen)
[Seemed the hand of God held my head
Underwater
Somehow I fought back]
(footage of Adrian pinning Triple B for the Ring Syndicate Australian Heavyweight Championship)
[It's still not over yet
No, it won't let me quit]
(footage of Adrian getting powerbombed through the Aborigine announce table by the Hellhounds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Aborigine Announce Table was one of the best things Ring Syndicate Australia had going. That, and funny sounding buildings.
[Found myself more than just once
Praying down on my knees]
[My search for answers only led to more questions
Sometimes for faith you've got to bleed]
(footage of Adrian, bloody and battered, holding up the Australian Heavyweight title)
[By now I've bled my share
Now it's my turn to redeem]
*BOOM!*
(A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames and the hometown fans go crazy)
[When it comes my way, I won't be scared
I've been waiting all my life]
(When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down. The America West Arena gets louder & louder)
[Pain has prepared me for the moment of truth
And the true test is time]
(Black and white footage continues to play on the screen as Adrian begins his walk down the ramp)
Phil Blauer: You know we only have the building till midnight...
[Give all you have because you believe
Sell your mortal soul]
(Footage of Adrian and Dave Rave brawling through the arena plays as Adrian continues to walk down the stage, slapping a couple hands on the way down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. glad to be home after all this time.
[And if you're not a predator then, oh - you better pray
Bet it all now or fold]
(footage of Adrian nailing X with the "Best Damn Secondary Finisher, Period."
[But there's still a danger there
Don't become one of them]
(At the last verse, Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. The fans chant "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: With all the expense of Adrian Tanner Jr.'s entrance, Jonnie had to let Tony Thunder and Bruno had to be let go.
Phil Blauer: Oh well.
[When it comes my way, I won't be scared]
(footage of Adrian nailing various people with the Revolver)
[I've been waiting all my life]
(footage of Adrian holding up various Championships, stopping on the SWAT World Tag Team Championship)
[Pain has prepared me for the moment of truth
And the true test is time]
(In the ring, Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down.)
Yolanda Ando: Shorts: Adrian Tanner wears some black shorts with red flames running down the sides, with black and elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The audience goes wild, chanting "Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!!" Then "Go To Sleep" by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX plays. Tanner turns around to watch Stan coming down the walkway. He jogs in place for a bit with the SWAT Heavyweight title around his waist as the fans heap boos on him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This is a new Stan Wilson we're looking at, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Oh god, is it Bruno again? They tricked me last time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, this is a Stan Wilson who doesn't give a damn about what the fans want anymore. He's interested in regaining his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship, and nothing more.
Phil Blauer: His merchandising cut is gonna take a hit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Merchandising cut? Jonnie hasn't given out one of those since "Lightning" Leon Jones.
Yolanda Ando: Stan Wilson wears leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front. Black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. Black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds; He is The Current SWAT World Heavyweight Champion...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!!!"
(Stan raises his arm as the audience boos. Adrian Tanner Jr. jumps The Tank before the bell. The crowd comes alive as Tanner starts whacking Stan Wilson with some karate chops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner runs into the ropes and dropkicks the big man! He still doesn't go down, so Tanner takes him down with a drop toe hold, smashing his face into the second turnbuckle!
(Adrian sticks his knee into Stan's back and pulls back on his arms. Stan growls in pain as Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit to the surfboard)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan not giving up this early so Tanner whips him into the turnbuckles. Wilson bounces out into Tanner's huracanrana but Big Stan reverses it with a ligerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Adrian Tanner rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan bounces into the ropes and drops a big elbow across Tanner's face. He picks him up and applies a powerful bearhug.
Phil Blauer: The bearhug is the quintessential move for any big man. Back in the day, if he was over 400 pounds in coveralls you didn't even think about it. His finisher was the bearhug. Like any 400 pound black guy's finisher is the splash.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil that's...wait, you're right. I feel dirty just saying it, but you're right.
(Stan gets a good grip and tries to squeeze the life out of the 227 pound Adrian Tanner. The fans root on Tanner to break the bearhug, but Wilson keeps it on and crushes him with those giant arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan runs Tanner into the corner and crushes him with over 300 pounds. He grabs a hold of the middle ropes and rams his shoulder into Tanner's midsection a few times. Tanner grabs him by the head and spinning DDTs him!
(The audience leaps to their feet and Tanner arm drags Stan Wilson over into an armbar. He sticks his knee into the ball of Wilson's shoulder, and clamps down on his arm. The crowd applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner squeezes on that arm of Stan Wilson, but Wilson not submitting. Tanner stands up and rams his knee into The Tank's back. He pulls him up and tries to german suplex him, but Stan's too heavy. He back elbows Tanner in the face.
(Tanner staggers back and Wilson runs into the ropes and flips Tanner asshole over elbows with a flying lariot! America West Arena jeers and boos, and Stan Wilson lifts Tanner up in a suplex and leaves him up there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson lets all the blood drain to his head and then drops him back into a suplex! Wilson backs him into the corner and then presses his size 20 boot against Adrian Tanner's throat.
(Tanner gasps and turns three different color while Mike Peters lays in the count. Stan breaks at four, and Peters gives him an earfull. Stan tells him to shut up. Tanner fires back with a couple chops and then reverse russian legsweeps his face into the turnbuckle! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off the top with a blockbuster neckbreaker!! He covers the giant!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2....(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. applies an STF to the big man. Wilson growls in pain as Tanner struggles to keep all of that body under wraps. Wilson reaches out and grabs the ropes!
(The Phoenix fans boo as Mike Peters forces Adrian Tanner Jr. to break the STF. Adrian Tanner runs into the ropes and hits Wilson with a flying body press but Wilson turns it into a tiltawhirl powerslam!! The boos get louder as Wilson hooks the leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson bounces into the ropes and drops that big leg across Tanner's neck!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson presses Tanner over his head and then drops him into a spinebuster!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
(The America West Arena applauds all Tanners pin escapes. Stan Wilson picks up Tanner into a back suplex but Adrian reverses it with a headlock takedown. Wilson's shoulders are pinned to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson rolls him into cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. rolls back into a headlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner gets up and elbow drops Wilson in the back. He applies a dragon sleeper on Wilson. He links his hands together and pulls back on his rather bulging head.
Phil Blauer: Jealous? You know green is not a good color on you.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You mean the color of your balls?
Phil Blauer: (high pitched, mimicking Guillermo) Yes, I mean the color of my balls.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out but Wilson refuses. Tanner pulls him up into a standing position in the inverted facelock and then drops him in a reverse DDT! He then locks the dragon sleeper back on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. reapplies the dragon sleeper and leans back on The Tank's head & neck. He drags him over to the corner, and then steps on to the second turnbuckle. Tanner applies a full nelson while standing on the second rope.
(Mike Peters asks Stan Wilson if he wants to submit, but Wilson shakes his head "no". Tanner jumps off into a full nelson bulldog from the second rope! The Phoenix fans cheer, and Tanner pins him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. irish whips Stan Wilson into the ropes but The Tank comes back with a flying shoulderblock that knocks Tanner over! He grabs the rope and stomps Tanner's knee. He drops his boot down on Tanner's knee over & over.
(Tanner clutches his knee and Stan stomps it again, smashing Tanner's fingers. Stan Wilson then applies an inverted indian deathlock. He gets his legs set and then starts swatting Tanner in the back of the head with slaps from those big hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson clamping down on Tanner's twisted legs. Mike Peters checks in to see if Tanner wants to give up while the 19,000 in attendance beg him to hold on! Wilson irish whips him into the ropes and slams him from seven feet in the air with that flapjack!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson full nelsons Tanner and then lifts him up for a full nelson bomb but Tanner reverses it into an armdrag! Adrian Tanner climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a huracanrana!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. runs up the ropes into an inzuigiri to the back of the head! He full nelsons Wilson and then ties their legs up, before driving his face into the mat!
(The fans are deafening and Adrian Tanner Jr. hops onto the middle of the second rope to pump them up. He hops off the ropes and turns around right into a running boot from Wilson upside his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: That big boot sends Tanner flying over the top rope to the floor! Wilson steps over the top rope down to the floor. He presses Tanner over his head and then drops him into a powerslam on the concrete floor!!
(Crowd boos, and Tanner writhes around the floor, clutching the small of his back. Stan then pulls Tanner up on to his shoulder and flips him forward into a dominator on the railing!! Tanner's chest bounces off the railing and he falls into the lap of a fan in the front row)
Phil Blauer: Big Stan knows how to get down. He was UEA Hardcore Champion back in October of 2002.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson pulls him over the security rail and then lifts Tanner up into an alabama slam, but Tanner falls behind him with a sunset flip! The back of Wilson's head riccochets against the ringsteps!!
(Tanner pumps his fist to the crowd, and jumps to the apron. He gets a running start and then shooting star presses Stan off the apron!! America West Arena lets out a deafening pop, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Phil Blauer: I can't hear myself think in here! It's like a hell of my own design. I NEED MY THOUGHTS!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. runs along the apron again and then huracanranas him on the America West Arena floor!!
(The fans cheer, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" Tanner rolls Stan Wilson into the ring, and then climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. flips into a 180 corkscrew splash!!
(The chants get louder, "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" and Tanner hooks Wilson's leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner attempts an abdominal stretch, but Stan Wilson hiptosses him over. Wilson runs into the ropes and caves in his chest with a clothesline from hell!
(Stan irish whips Tanner into the ropes and hits him coming back with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tank Slam!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan "The Tank" Wilson irish whips Tanner into the ropes again and catches him with a sidewalk backbreaker!! Stan goes for a german but Tanner flips behind him and then drops back into a flatliner!
(The America West Arena comes alive! Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a frog splash and the arena lights up like daytime from all the flash photography)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Fall from Grace!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Stan Wilson gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The crowd boos. Adrian Tanner Jr. steps through the ropes on to the apron. He slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and then spinning huracanranas him into a tornado DDT!! The crowd cheers wildly and Tanner runs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson rolls out of the way of a 450 legdrop!! Wilson fireman's carries him onto his shoulders and then spins it around into The Tank Drop implant DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan "The Tank" Wilson drops him back into a high angle back suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe it, Stan Wilson climbing up to the top turnbuckle and takes Tanner out with a flying lariot!!
(Stan Wilson presses Tanner over his head but Tanner falls behind him on his feet. Wilson turns around into a superkick under his jaw by Tanner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. floors him with a Daytripper! Tanner applies another dragon sleeper on Wilson.
Phil Blauer: It's gonna take every bit of strength Tanner has to squeeze that big head of his.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner hits a roll the dice manuever then locks on a headscissors on the facedown giant. Tanner grabs his left arm and applies
The Problem Solver (v1.0)!!
(The fans applaud the combination by Arizona's Most Wanted. Tanner squeezes the head of Wilson with those powerful legs while pulling up on his arm. Wilson refuses to tap out so Tanner releases it, then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. comes off the ropes with a 450 leg drop and this time he hits it!! The crowd is on their feet as Tanner makes the cover!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans blow the roof off of The America West Arena as "Moment of Truth" by Damageplan plays)
Phil Blauer: Good God, we don't have to hear the lyrics again do we??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. evens up their Arizona Series at one a peice!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 26 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The crowd lets out an earsplitting pop for the Desert Rat. The fans boo Wilson, who grabs Adrian Tanner by the throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson chokeslams Adrian Tanner Jr. in the middle of the ring!!
(The cheers turn to boos, as Adrian Tanner lies motionless. Stan Wilson steps over the top rope, down to the floor to get a table from under the ring. He slides it in and sets it up)
Guilermo O'Bannon: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion not taking this well! He rolls Tanner on to the table and...he's climbing to the top turnbuckle!!
(The crowd is on their feet, begging Stan to think it over. Stan Wilson comes off the top rope with an elbow drop on Adrian Wilson that liquifies the table!!! Beer bottles and soda cups come flying from all corners of the America West Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The audience is about to riot here, but suddenly they are cheering.
Phil Blauer: What are they seeing that I'm not? Did Tara Reid's titty fall out?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is in the ring with a chair! He takes a big swing and tags Stan Wilson with that chair! A very dazed Wilson rolls out of the ring, and lives to fight another day!
(Stan Wilson staggers to the back as the Phoenix crowd chants, "Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Syberus calls for medical attention from the America West Arena EMTs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: These fans letting Stan Wilson have it, after he totally overreacts to the loss here tonight. It's so unlike him.
Phil Blauer: Stan is not taking this loss laying down!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. putting on an excellent show in front of his hometown fans and picking up the win. He's back in Hardkore World in a major way!
Phil Blauer: Hi, I'm TV's Phil Blauer. Usually I allow Gary McBannon to handle the intro or as I refer to "The Beginny part where I dose off". But recently it came to my attention that there will be five, count em, four hot women in tonight's match to be the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Something of this magnitude cannot be handled by someone who's idea of an evening with a woman is masturbating in the bushes under a sorority house.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You did that last week!
Phil Blauer: I know, but seemed funnier if you did that. Now, Ashley is in this match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, she isn't.
Phil Blauer: Of course she isn't. What I mean to say is...Brandi?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: Sexy Anj?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: Makoto Jupiter?
Guillermo O'Bannon: JONNIE!!! Phil's fucking up the intro!
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: Phil! Don't make me come back there!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thanks, Jonnie.
Phil Blauer: Suck up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Later on tonight, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defends her Hardkore World Women's Championship against Ashley. The winner takes on one of these five women. None of them are a very attractive propositon.
Phil Blauer: Objection!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, this isn't a courtroom.
Phil Blauer: Any of these women make a very attractive proposition for me. In fact, I'd like to proposition any of these women. Maybe I will. Think Vagabond's seeing anyone?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You seen any of her promos lately?
Phil Blauer: Are they the ones where she punches retards?
("Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She walks to the ring with her long legs and a little smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond looking to get her first big title shot since coming over to the West Coast. She lost a threeway dance in Northern Ireland with Ashley & Alley to recieve tonight's shot. She's hoping tonight that the training she's been doing with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Big Bad Bill will help her get over that hump.
Phil Blauer: I'd like to get over a hump with her.
Yolanda Ando: Are you gonna be doing this all night? We could have just gotten Lawler. Vagabond's wearing a very cute green tank top and stretch pants.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Fiveway Elimination Match. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 102 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(The Phoenix crowd cheers. Then the lights get dim as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays over the loud speakers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley is another member of the Big Bad Bill's harem from EWW.
Phil Blauer: It's like a chick Invasion. Not that I'm complaining.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley not very happy about her performance in Northern Ireland and looking to change Hardkore fans minds about her. I like the black lipstick. I had a girlfriend with black lipstick. The sex was incredible but it got a little embarrassing sitting at Arby's with someone wearing a corset & thigh high boots.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of embarrassing, imagine my face with Alley realizes I accidentally let Snuggles out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Are you talking about your penis?
Phil Blauer: Oddly enough, not this time. Snuggles is her pet tiger.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (runs past them) HELP!! Tiger!! HELP!!!
Yolanda Ando: Alley wears black pants with a gray pullover. Her black hair is shoulder length and she has a single white braid on the right side.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Lacey Springs, Virgina; Standing 5 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 105 pounds...ALLEY!!!"
(Audience applauds her. She eyes Vagabond suspiciously. Then the lights in the America West Arena start to flicker)
Phil Blauer: Uh oh. I hope Tarrasque isn't licking the light socket again.
(The pyros explode and “Alive” by Saliva hits. A red spotlight points on the entrance ramp with a stoic Tamara Sanchez. She lifts her head presenting the two crosses painted under her eyes. Slowly she walks down the ramp as the crowd jeers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here comes one of the most decorated wrestlers in this match, Tamara Sanchez. She is not only a former Hardkore World Women's Champion, but she's won CWF Germany Women's title and UCW Women's title. Incredibly, she's also won alot of men's titles. The CWF Interglobal title, CWF Hardcore title, UCW US title, and the ICW Internet title. She also has had some of the most jaw dropping matches against Xyrynth last year.
Phil Blauer: And her "Fuck You, Fuck Me" t-shirt is the hottest selling thing at the concession stand. It's blowing "Doin it Soutter Style, Down Under" out of the water!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez feels she got screwed out of regaining her title at Irish Rage in Belfast with Horror Girl as the special ref, even though she was getting alot of fast counts. Tonight is her chance to get a rematch in Los Angeles.
Yolanda Ando: Tamara Sanchez wears ripped jeans, a black shirt saying “fuck me” on the front and “fuck you” on the back. Her dark hair is wrapped up in dreadlocks.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Now residing in New York City, Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
(The Phoenix fans boo. "Haunted" by Evanescence plays, and Horror Girl cautiously makes her way towards the ring. Bernice Biggs and Mr. Fame follow behind, making deals on their cell phones. Horror Girl pauses, tilting her head towards a jeering fan. When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at Vagabond, Alley, and Tamara Sanchez)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl went from being champion to challenger after "Sexy" Anjanette Turner upset her in Palm Springs. After she played special referee in Northern Ireland, she used her position to give fast counts to Tamara Sanchez and draw out the pinfalls for Turner so Sanchez could escape. Turner eventually blasted her with a chair to knock her out and score a pin over Tammy.
Phil Blauer: You can't really tell, but I think Horror Girl's pissed about it.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing some tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs, she appears to look like a zombie. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Of course, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her manager, Mr. Fame and his secratary, Bernice Biggs; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Fans boo Horror Girl as she snarls at them. Mr. Fame tries to calm her down to no avail. Then the arena grows dark & cold as evil green mist flows followed by chilling cold blooded screams of a woman then chilling female laughter booms all over the arena. Yolanda Ando rubs her arms, trying to signal to Phil that she’s cold)
Phil Blauer: Huh? Oh, I’d give you my jacket, but then I’d be cold. Then my nipple rings would show through my shirt. Then I’d get fined again.
(“Alice in Hell” by Annhilator plays as Vampira walks through the curtain led by both Judge Death & Psychotic Goth followed to the ring by an entourage of gothic dressed teenagers)
Phil Blauer: Go back to the mall!
(Vampira threatens to bite Yolanda)
Yolanda Ando: Aaaaaaah!!!
(Yolanda runs away as Vampira steps inside the ring. She slowly removes her jacket. Vampira snarls and glares evilly at Tammy)
Yolanda Ando: (phew) That was close. Vampira is wearing some tight black leather pants w ith a black leather metal studded belt & tight black T-Shirt, black steel toed boots, black leather jacket as well as black metal studded collar around her neck and black metal studded wrist bands. She wears gold pentagram necklaces around her neck and her waiste length dark hair flows freely down her back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: This will be Vampira’s first match of her career. That would be nerve racking enough, but she’s in there with some of the most accomplished wrestlers on the globe. Somehow, she doesn’t let it show on that beautiful face of hers.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And finally accompanied to the ring by her manager Judge Death and Psychotic Goth; Hailing from Somewhere in Carpathia; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 175 pounds...VAMPIRA!!!"
(The Arizona crowd boos Vampira when suddenly she whacks Alley in the back of the neck with a forearm smash. Ron Reid signals for the bell and Vampira hits Alley in the back of the neck again with her studded forearm pad)
Guillermo O’Bannon: We’re underway, and Horror Girl latches onto Vagabond’s face, digging her nails into their flesh! Vampira tags Alley in the back of the head again with that loaded forearm pad. Alley stumbles forward into Tamara Sanchez who hiptosses her across the ring!
(Horror Girl lets out a horrible screech then shoves Vagabond away. But Vagabond comes right back at her with a vicious spear to Horror Girl’s midsection! The fans cheer Vagabond. Vampira squats over Horror Girl and applies a heart claw)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira sticks that long thumbnail into Horror Girl’s breast plate while sinking her long claws into the rest of Horror Girl’s heart.
Phil Blauer: You’re assuming alot there.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez pushes Alley a couple times. Alley hauls off and slaps Tamara Sanchez!
(Crowd “Ooooohs” as Tammy holds her cheek. Her face turns red and then she belly to belly suplexes Alley over head. Tammy turns around and Vagabond monkey flips her across the ring! Vampira squeezes on Horror Girl’s bosom with her long claws. Ron Reid checks in to see if she submits. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley comes off the top with a Dai-Chan bomber lariot to Tamara Sanchez!! She covers the former owner of CWF Germany!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl sits up and bites the cheek of Vampira! Vampira is forced to break the heart claw. Horror Girl grabs her by her long hair and headbutts her in the jaw.
(Tamara Sanchez ducks under a superkick by Vagabond and atomic drops her into Alley, who lifts Vagabond up on to her shoulders)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley drops Vagabond into a Hercules cutter neckbreaker from a fireman’s carry!! She covers her biggest rival for Big Bad Bill’s attention!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl gives Vampira another headbutt to the cheek. She turns flips Vampira over into a tree of woe in the corner. Horror Girl stands on Vampira’s arms with her back to her, and pulls forward on her legs! The Coffin of Woe!
(Ron Reid begins counting to five as Horror Girl wrenches on Vampira’s legs. Vagabond comes off the ropes and catches Tamara Sanchez with a lou thez press. Ron Reid gets to four and then notices Vagabond making the pin, so he turns around to make the count, albeit late)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl is forced to break The Coffin of Woe by Reid. Tamara Sanchez takes advantage of Vampira upside down in the corner and superkicks her exposed midsection! Vagabond runs in from the other corner and baseball slide kicks Vampira’s upside down face!!
(The America West Arena pops as the four ladies take turns abusing Vampira as she’s trapped upside down in the corner. Alley runs in with a dropkick to Vampira’s belly! The audience cheers even louder. Psychotic Goth and Judge Death go to work freeing Vampira)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley hooks Tamara Sanchez in a fisherman’s suplex but adds a little corkscrew to make it The Three-Handed Moss-Covered Family Gredunza!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond hops onto the middle of the second rope and takes out both Alley and Tamara Sanchez with a lionsault! She pins both of them!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Both Alley and Tamara Sanchez kick out at the same time sending Vagabond over the top rope to the floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The force of both Sanchez & Alley kicking out sends Vagabond over the top rope! Tamara Sanchez climbs out to the apron and hops on to the middle of the second rope. Sanchez asai moonsaults Vagabond into the guardrail!!
(Crowd boos Tammy, as both ladies lie in a pile on the floor. Inside the ring, Vampira slugs Alley in the throat. She nails her with a second closed fist in her breastplate. Horror Girl pulls Alley’s arm through her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl pumphandles Alley up into a german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira pulls off her belt and wraps it around Horror Girl’s throat from behind. She’s choking Horror Girl with that leather belt!
(Ron Reid pleads with Vampira to give him the belt but she refuses. Ron Reid begins to lay in a count on Vampira as she continues to squeeze off Horror Girl’s air. Alley climbs out to the apron)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira lets go off the belt right before the count of five from Reid. Alley flips off of the middle of the second rope with a quebrada to both Tamara Sanchez and Vagabond!!
(The crowd cheers and chants “AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!!” Meanwhile, inside the ring, Vampira whips Horror Girl repeatedly across the back with her studded leather belt! Horror Girl shreiks in agony)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira climbs out to the apron, hops on to the middle of the second rope and corkscrew asai moonsaults Sanchez, Alley, and Vagabond!!
(The fans boo Vampira as the four women lie in a ruins. Horror Girl then runs into the ropes, as the women begin to get to their feet. Horror Girl hops onto the middle of the top rope, then springboards off into missle dropkick to all four women on the floor!! The crowd chants “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Phil Blauer: It is deafening in here!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond rolls into the ring, runs into the ropes and hops onto the middle of the top rope. She turns around and springboard moonsaults Alley, Horror Girl, Tamara Sanchez, and Vampira!!
(All five women fall in a pile, and the audience continues to chant “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira & Horror Girl pull out a press table and set it up. Horror Girl yanks Vagabond by the hair and drapes her over the table, then jams her elbow in Vagabond's throat. Vampira comes off the top rope with a shooting star press on Vagabond through the table on the floor!!!
(The America West Arena rocks with “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!” Tamara Sanchez rolls into the ring, followed by Alley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez twists Alley's arm and Horror Girl comes off the second rope with a double ax handle to the twisted arm.
(Alley pokes Tammy in the eye with her good arm. Horror Girl grabs Sanchez up by her wristlocked arm. She lifts her high enough, so that she's off her feet. Horror Girl then grabs her by her head into a DDT)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond gingerly rolls back into the ring and irish whips Sanchez into the ropes. She follows her in, hops on to the middle of the second rope, and when Tammy comes back, Vagabond catches her with a spinning implant DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley tosses Vampira over the top rope, but Vampira catches the top rope and pulls herself back in. Horror Girl goes to irish whips Tamara Sanchez but Sanchez reverses the whip, and catches Horror Girl into a tiltawhirl slam!
(Tamara Sanchez climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a swandive headbutt but Horror Girl rolls out of the way!! Horror Girl gut wrenches Sanchez up on to her shoulder and then tigerbombs her)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez rolls her shoulder up)
Phil Blauer: Everyone's ganging up on Tammy! It's like that movie I saw of her.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and gives her an Unfettered Might corkscrew spear!!
Phil Blauer: Vagabond using the spear that Hardkore World Champion Big Bad Bill taught her!
(The audience pops and Tamara Sanchez clutches her stomach. Horror Girl sneaks up behind Vagabond and full nelsons her. Vampira hits her with a couple of heart punches)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond drops to her knees and Horror Girl steps on the back of her knees. She pulls Vagabond up into a double toe hold with a sleeper! Alley runs into the ropes, and front tumbles into a Liger kick to Vagabond's unprotected face!
(Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and hits her with a huracanrana! Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Vagabond shakes the ropes and crotches her on the steel cable hook)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez pulls Alley up on her shoulders, and then hops off, drilling her head into the mat with a death valley driver!! She hooks her leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond flips off the top rope into her butterfly senton bomb!!
(The Phoenix fans are on their feet, and chanting for one more Butterfly Dive. Vagabond climbs to the top rope again, but Vampira steps up to the second turnbuckle. She clutches Vagabond by her throat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira chokeslams Vagabond off the second rope!! She covers her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 5 seconds, Vagabond has been eliminated."
(The audience boos, as Vagabond rolls out of the ring, clutching her back. Tamara Sanchez irish whips Vampira into the ropes and takes her down with a spinning headscissors that sends her across the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl sinks her teeth in Alley's neck and bites down as hard as she can!
(The booing gets louder, as Horror Girl gnashes her teeth on Alley's broken flesh. She tears herself away from Horror Girl and says “Bitch, ya’ friggin’ bit me!” and then bites her right back. The fans cheer wildly for Horror Girl finally getting a taste of her own medicine)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez goes to suplex Vampira, but she blocks it with her calf. Vampira counters with a suplex of her own and drops it into a jackhammer!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle. She front flips into a huracanrana on Vampira!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez scoops Horror Girl up and drops her into a backbreaker. She lifts Horror Girl up and sits her on the top turnbuckle. Before she can climb up to the second rope, Horror Girl swats her with a few right hands and spins around into a tornado DDT!!
(The crowd boos Horror Girl as she snarls and growls at them. Alley sneaks up behind her and delivers an unprettier on Horror Girl)
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't make much difference on Horror Girl.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl staggers to her feet, but Vampira gets underneath her legs and lifts her up and drops her into a electric chair!
Phil Blauer: I remember when we started that was an ocean cyclone suplex.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ah, were we ever that young? Vampira shows amazing strength by holding on to Horror Girl's arms and lift her into a second electric chair suplex! Vampira ducks under a bodypress by Sanchez but Tammy turns it into a sunset flip!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira claps her legs together on Tammy's head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Tamara Sanchez slugs her in the stomach. Alley falls on the top turnbuckle! Horror Girl climbs to the second turnbuckle and butterflies Alley's arms. Horror Girl double underhook superplexes Alley from the second rope!!
(The America West Arena boos Horror Girl. Horror Girl crotch ties Alley's arm through her legs. She pumphandles Alley over her shoulder, but Alley falls behind Horror Girl, landing on her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley half nelsons Horror Girl's one arm and hammerlocks the other. Alley release tiger suplexes Horror Girl on the back of her head! But Vampira gets behind Alley and cobra clutches her arm & neck.
(Vampira spins Alley round & round before dropping her to the mat, and wrapping her legs around Alley's midsection. She pulls back on Alley's arm while pressing down on the back of her head. Tamara Sanchez pulls Horror Girl on to her shoulders in a fireman's carry)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez flips forward into a somersault slam! Vampira squeezes Alley's kidneys with those powerful legs, as Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out. Sanchez walks over and begins stomping Alley's face & stomach as she's trapped in Vampira's cobra clutch.
(The Phoenix fans boo as Vampira double up on a trapped Alley. Horror Girl pulls off some of her mummy wrappings. She walks up behind Tamara Sanchez and wraps the bandage around her neck over & over. She ties off the mummy wrap and then tosses Tammy over the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl hangs Tammy over the top rope with her mummy wrap! Vampira continues to apply the on the mat cobra clutch, while Sanchez's face is turning red from lack of oxygen.
(Ron Reid lays in the count for Horror Girl to cease choking Tamara Sanchez. Vampira sees that Ron Reid is not checking for Alley's submission and releases the cobra clutch. Horror Girl releases the mummy wrap at the four count from Reid. Vampira comes up from behind Horror Girl and full nelsons her)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira dragon suplexes Horror Girl! She maintains the full nelson and pulls her up for a second dragon suplex! She hangs on for a third and this time holds a bridge!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez gets to her feet on the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. She dives off the top into Vampira's midsection with a flying spear! She pins the undead one!
Phil Blauer: Which one?
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley drags Vampira by the hair over to the ropes and then ties her arms up in the ropes. She slugs Tamara Sanchez and then irish whips her right into a trapped Vampira in the ropes!
(Alley stomps a mudhole in both Tamara Sanchez & Vampira. Horror Girl walks over and picks up Vampira by the throat and lifts her up with both arms)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl hoists Vampira out of the choke over into a full powerslam! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez grabs Vampira by the leg and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. She yanks back on Vampira's leg as her screams fill the America West Arena.
(Alley comes over and stomps the back of Vampira's head over & over as Tammy pulls back on her leg. Ron Reid asks Vampira if she wants to submit)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley tags Tamara Sanchez a few times with some slaps that breaks the canadian maple leaf. She double underhooks Sanchez's arms and pulls her up onto her shoulder. She drops Sanchez's unprotected shoulder on her shoulder with a Colt 45!!
(Tamara Sanchez clutches her arm. Vampira irish whips Alley into the ropes and catches her on the rebound with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira Death Slam!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira stands up and turns around into a spear by Horror Girl! She turns it into a spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Alley is in the ring with a chair! I told you that bitch is crazy!
Guillermo O’Bannon: When?
Phil Blauer: It's a given!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley clubs Tamara Sanchez in the head with a chair! Vampira turns into a chair shot of her own! Horror Girl doesn't look concerned when Alley swings for the fences with that chair!
(The thud of the chair cracking Horror Girl's skull rings through the America West Arena! Horror Girl's head sinks into her shoulders, but she no-sells it and roars in Alley's face. Alley gulps a little)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley winds back and bends the frame on Horror Girl's cranium!!
Phil Blauer: That one didn't do it either.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl staggering around dazed, and Alley runs into the ropes. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into her asai moonsault DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 17 seconds, Horror Girl has been eliminated!"
(The Phoenix fans go wild as Horror Girl sits up, with a snarl on her face. She goes to attack Ron Reid, but Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs hold her back as the official cowers in the corner)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ron Reid looking pretty scared of Horror Girl there.
Phil Blauer: If I were any of the three ladies left in this match, I would not roll around in that puddle around Reid's legs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira swats Tamara Sanchez with a few kung fu kicks. She bites the neck of Tamara Sanchez!
(Sanchez shrieks in pain and demands Ron Reid stop Vampira. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and then comes down on top of both Vampira & Tamara Sanchez with a skytwister press!! The fans pop)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley front facelocks Vampira and then backflips into a Shiranoi!! She turns around into a superkick by Tamara Sanchez!
(Alley lies dazed on the mat. Tamara Sanchez boots Vampira in the stomach and then grabs two handfuls of her hair and X factors her face into the canvas! Tammy climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez comes off the top rope with a huracanrana but Vampira catches her legs and powerbombs her! She grabs hold of that belt and grinds the studs of them into Tammy's forehead!
(Vampira walks over to Alley and wraps the belt around Alley's neck. She grabs her by her white braid and tosses her over the top rope. Vampira then hangs Alley over that top rope with her belt)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed; 5 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley kicks her heels into the apron as she struggles for air. Ron Reid begs her to stop, but Vampira isn't listening. Tamara Sanchez comes up from behind and dumps Vampira & Alley over the ropes to the floor below! Sanchez slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope and springboard bulldogs Vampira's throat on the guardrail!
(Tamara Sanchez rolls onto the apron, then gets a running start and backflips into a shooting star press on Alley on the floor!! The crowd pops for that move)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez hits her finisher, The 7 Year Inch on Alley on the America West Arena. Sanchez rolls Vampira into the ring. She climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Vampira shakes the ropes and crotches Sanchez on the top turnbuckle. Vampira climbs to the second rope and Carpathian Slams her!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley backflip corkscrew legdrops the back of Vampira's head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez pulls Vampira up into a front facelock and then drops her into a twist of fate!! She makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 27 minutes 26 seconds, Vampira has been eliminated."
(The audience applauds the two remaining wrestlers, as Tamara Sanchez and Alley try to catch their breath)
Phil Blauer: What are they doing? There's less than three minutes left in this match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: They've been wrestling for nearly a half hour, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Poppycock, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill. You didn't see me miss a beat.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Was that the day you threw up all over yourself and called in sick to work on your day off?
Phil Blauer: 30 minutes!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley showing alot of improvement since her match in Northern Ireland. She sneaks up behind Tamara Sanchez and rakes her nails down her back!
(Sanchez screams out and arches her back out in pain. Alley irish whips Tammy into the ropes and hops onto her shoulders, then spins around on to the back of her neck for a reverse huracanrana! The audience cheers as Alley climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley twists into a Yang Time backtwisting splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez puts her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop, but Sanchez twists into a corkscrew neckbreaker! She climbs to the top rope, and flips off into a swanton bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez hops onto the middle of the second rope and lionsaults her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez gets to her feet but Alley gets up and yanks her to the mat by her dreadlocks. Sanchez staggers up and gets a kick to the stomach. Alley runs into the ropes and comes back with an axe kick to the back of his head!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley scoops up Tammy, but Tammy slips behind Alley and lands in an inverted facelock. She drops her in an scorpion deathdrop! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tammy's lying on her stomach, Alley hooks Sanchez's arm under her leg, crosses her ankles, and pulls back on her legs in a tequila sunrise! She pulls back on her arm and leg trying to get a submission out of her before the time limit expires.
(Sanchez cries out in pain, as Alley tries to bend her arm & leg in half. Ron Reid checks in to see if Tammy wants to tap out, Sanchez is not answering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has had some arm issues the entire match and her leg was broken in March. This could be it!
(The bell rings and the audience cheers. Alley releases the tequila sunrise and raises her arms in victory. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the loudspeaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She got in just under the wire, but Alley is going to Los Angeles to wrestle the winner of tonight's match between Ashley & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the time limit has expired. Referee Ron Reid has ruled this match...A DRAW!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and Alley kicks the bottom rope in frustration. Tamara Sanchez spins Ron Reid around and starts arguing with him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez never submitted and the time limit expired. So who is the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's title?
Phil Blauer: The Microshocker? He won his first match tonight, he deserves a rematch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm hearing in my IFB earpeice that Hardkore Jonnie Valentine is booking a match between Alley and Tamara Sanchez. The winner will recieve a shot at the Hardkore World Women's Championship at Hardkore Helloween in Cleveland, Ohio!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up next is our first title match of the evening. “Sexy” Anjanette Turner puts her championship on the line against Ashley, a three time EWW Champion.
Phil Blauer: EWW does sound like something you would say if you walked in on your parents...and your uncle.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley defeated Vagabond & Alley in Northern Ireland on pay-per-view to win the right to face Sexy Anj tonight. She showed us in that match that she has what it takes to stand with the best wrestlers on the West Coast.
(“Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays as Ashley raises her hands over her head to acknowledge the Phoenix crowd. The audience gives her a decent pop)
Yolanda Ando: Ashley seems to be losing the attention of Big Bad Bill. Vagabond has been spotting training with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion, The Big Man In The Locker Room, The B.M.I.L.R....
Phil Blauer: I didn’t know you were so in to that whole soap opera.
Yolanda Ando: Oh yeah. Me and the entire Hardkore World women’s locker room have been glued to the TV.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Besides you, who in the Hardkore World women’s locker room isn’t involved in the Big Bad Bill soap opera?
Yolanda Ando: Uh...Domino. And Microshocker can’t get enough of the stuff.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley is a very powerful woman. Not just with political clout backstage, but is also one of the strongest women on the West Coast next to Horror Girl.
Yolanda Ando: Ashley has on some red stretch pants with a red loose fitting blouse over a black tank top. Her short curly hair with reddish highlights.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tampa, Florida; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 140 pounds...ASHLEY!!!"
(The 19,000 in attendance at the America West Arena applaud Ashley. Then “GirlFight” by Brooke Valentine plays and the crowd cheers wildly. Domino steps out and the fans gasp)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino is leading “Sexy” Anjanette Turner down to the ring!
Phil Blauer: Wait. I don’t have my glasses. Are you sure that isn’t Dan Stein?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, but Anjanette and Stein are good friends from back in the National Wrestling Council back in 1999. She must know Domino, his ex-wife, from then.
(Some fans in attendance boo Domino being around Anjanette Turner, but most try and slap her hand on the way down to the ring. Anjanette Turner rubs the Hardkore World Championship and steps into the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette survived a match with Tamara Sanchez in Northern Ireland where Horror Girl was the referee. After that, she must have decided she needed someone watching her back.
Yolanda Ando: The Hardkore World Women’s Champion is wearing her traditional red two peice bathing suit & red boots, with her hair in a pony tail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent; accompanied to the ring by her new manager, Domino; (America West Arena boos) Now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
(The fans cheer Anjanette Turner, as she yanks on the ropes, loosening them. Mike Peters holds up Anjanette’s championship belt and then signals for the bell. Anjanette Turner runs at Ashley but she presses the champion over her head! The crowd applauds this feet of strength)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley tosses Turner halfway across the ring! She catches Turner with a forearm shot to the chin, and then scoops her up for a bodyslam. Another bodyslam! She scoops Turner up a third time and this time powerslams her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley hops up to the second turnbuckle from inside the ring...
Phil Blauer: This could be a little early.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino jumps up on to the apron and trips Ashley when she steps up on the top rope! Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and belly to back superplexes her!!
(The crowd boos Domino. Anjanette Turner steps on the backs of Ashley’s knees and then bridges her up into an inverted surfboard! Ashley cries out in pain as Turner bounces her up & down on her calves. Domino applauds on the outside)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner rolls Ashley on to her knees, then applies a headscissors. She grabs Ashley’s arm and falls back into a submission hold. Anjanette showing off her mat prowess early.
(Mike Peters checks in with Ashley, asking her if she submits. Ashley refuses, as Anj yanks up on her arm again. Ashley works her way to her feet with Anjanette still on the mat, applying the head scissors)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley slips her arm out of Anj’s clutches and then leg drops her face. Ashley pulls her up and textbook suplexes the champion!
(Ashley scoops Turner up and drops down to one knee with a shoulderbreaker. Anj yelps out in pain and clutches her arm. She pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley pulls Turner up into a last ride powerbomb but Turner squeezes her legs around Ashley’s head and drills her head into the mat with a huracanrana!!
(Turner dusts her shoulders off as Ashley rolls around the mat, holding her head. She then runs into the ropes and handsprings into a standing moonsault)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner applies an STF on Ashley, pulling up on her head while armbarring her right arm. Peters checks in with Ashley while Anj clamps down with her forearm on her throat.
(Fans applaud the STF with the armbar, with Domino leading them on. Anjanette tugs up on Ashley’s head while squeezing her arm in that wakigatame armlock. Anjanette releases Ashley’s leg and slides up on her back. She chicken wings both of Ashley’s arms, then threads her arms through in to a full nelson submission)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner working down both of the arms of the former owner of EWW. She lifts Ashley up by both of her chicken winged arms! Ashley’s screams are unsettling!
(Mike Peters asks Ashley if she submits and she shakes her head. Anjanette gets tired and then pitches Ashley chestfirst into the mat, with no arms to protect her face. Turner waits for Ashley to get to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner goes to kick Ashley in the chest, but Ashley catches her boot. Turner comes around with an inzuigiri kick but Ashley ducks it! Ashley then wheelbarrows Turner’s legs up into a faceplant tigerbomb!!
(Anj clutches her hand to her face. Ashley comes off the ropes and elbow drops Anjanette Turner. She covers the champion)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Ashley is making Anjanette get used to keeping a high-paced speed and ariel-attack style match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Anjanette into the corner. She steps over the champ on the second rope, and pummels her in the head with punches.
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Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley monkey flips a dizzy but “Sexy” Anjanette Turner across the ring! Ashley scoops her up into a bodyslam but Turner falls behind her on her feet, with an inverted facelock. She twists Ashley’s neck into a test drive!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Ashley’s head into her legs and butterflies her arms. She runs into the center of the ring, pulls Ashley up by the arms into a michinoku driver I!! Ashley bounces off her face, and then Turner rolls her over into a pinning predictament!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner grabs Ashley’s leg and then spins it around into a spinning toe hold. She laughs in Ashley’s face and then drops back into a figure four leglock! Anj clamps down on Ashley’s twisted legs, and Ashley sits up in pain.
(On the outside, Domino pounds on the apron, rooting on her client, Anjanette Turner. Mike Peters asks Ashley if she submits. Ashley grabs Peters’ shirt in agony, but refuses to submit. Anjanette finally releases the figure four, but not before stomping Ashley’s knee a few times)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to get to her feet. She comes off the top with a flying roundhouse kick!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner pulls Ashley’s head into her legs, but Ashley blocks a piledriver. She reverses with an alabama slammer!!
(The audience pops for the sound of Anjanette’s skull bouncing off the canvas. Ashley pulls Turner up by the ponytail and irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley sends the champion acrosss the ring with a flying head scissors takedown! Ashley straddles over top of her and slaps Turner around!
(The America West Arena gasps at the sound of Ashley’s fists striking Turner’s face. Suddenly, the crowd begins buzzing & turning their attention to the aisleway. With Anj on her back, Ashley first hooks her leg behind Anj’s head. Ashley then applies an armbar and pulls up, applying pressure both to the arm and to the neck.)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley squeezes Turner’s head inside her powerful legs, while wrenching up on her arm.
Phil Blauer: There is a woman coming down to ringside!
Guillermo O’Bannon: You’re always right, Phil. There’s a tall woman with fiery hair walking down to the ring, while Ashley pulls up on Turner’s armbarred arm.
(The woman stands at ringside with her arms folded, watching Ashley expertly apply the Stranglehold Gamma. Domino eyes her suspiciously. Ashley pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner blocks a piledriver by Ashley and backdrops her over her shoulder! She applies a crossface to Ashley’s throat and chicken wings her arm. She tries to choke off all of Ashley’s air, but she won’t submit to the referee. Turner ties up their legs and drives Ashley’s face into the mat with a leg sweep!
(Domino applauds. Anjanette Turner grabs Ashley’s legs while she lies on the mat. She steps through them and then turns Ashley over into a sharpshooter. She pulls back on Ashley’s twisted legs, as the two time EWW Women’s Champion tries to not tap out to Mike Peters)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj bridges backwards and reverse chinlocks Ashley’s face while maintaining the sharpshooter. She tenses both her legs & arms to nearly bend Ashley in half with a bridging scorpion deathlock!
(The crowd applauds the complicated submission hold. Ashley cries out in pain, as Turner rocks with her arms & legs. Turner releases it, and scoops Ashley up onto her shoulder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sexy” Anjanette Turner spins around into a corkscrew tombstone piledriver!! She covers Ashley!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Ashley up & over into a gory special bomb right on her head!! She turns her over into a pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner runs into the ropes, but the woman at ringside pulls down the top rope and Turner spills out to the floor!
(The crowd boos, and Domino comes over to have a word with the woman standing in Ashley’s corner. The woman grabs a steel chair and Domino backs off. Ashley’s friend tosses the chair into the ring. Ashley sets up the chair near the ropes, while Domino tries to help Anj to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair over the ropes into a plancha on “Sexy” Anjanette Turner & Domino!!
(The fans pop as Domino, Ashley, & Anjanette Turner lie in a pile. The 19,000 in attendance give the ladies a standing ovation. Ashley pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley piledrives “Sexy” Anjanette Turner’s skull into America West Arena floor!! She scoops Turner up and bodyslams her back on to the concrete!!
(Turner slides on the floor, clutching the small of her back. Ashley waits for her to get up. When she does, Turner ducks a clothesline by Ashley and drops the back of her head on the cement with a dangeous backdrop driver on the floor!! The fans cheer for Anjanette, while she climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj comes off the top with a spinning huracanrana off the top rope to the floor!!
(The fans chant “ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!!” Turner rolls Ashley back into the ring. She gets behind her and applies a katha- jime chokehold. She squeezes her forearm against Ashley’s windpipe, and spins her around & round so she can’t get her footing)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner spinning Ashley around & round in that tazmission, while choking all the air out of her. Anjanette Turner then drops to her back in the kataha-jime chokehold and applies a bodyscissors.
(Ashley rakes her nails across Turner’s eyes to break the chokehold. Ashley gets behind Anjanette and applies a sleeper hold. Turner tries to fight her off while Domino screams out “Get out! Get out!” to Anj)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner reaches out for the ropes but Ashley has her square in the middle of the ring. That woman, Rachael I believe her name is, slides a chair into the ring. Ashley grabs the chair and slugs Anj across the shoulder blades with it!!
(Anjanette bounces through the ropes to the outside, clutching her back. Domino demands that Mike Peters disqualify Ashley. Racheal walks over and lifts Turner by the throat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: I thought I recognized her. She’s Ashley’s bodyguard from EWW, Rachael! She’s got Anjanette up by the throat, and there’s nothing the Women’s Champion or her manager can do about it.
(Rachael drops “Sexy” Anjanette Turner on the arena floor hard! Ashley slingshots herself on to the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a plancha to Turner as she gets to her feet!! The crowd goes wild)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley rolls Turner into the ring and gets in there herself. Turner ducks under a clothesline and runs her into the ropes and rolls back into a rolling prawn cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner gut wrenches Ashley up on to her shoulder then spinning tigerbombs her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner fireman's carries Ashley up onto her shoulders and then walks her over to the corner. She sits Ashley on the top turnbuckle then climbs to the second rope. Turner gut wrench suplexes her from the top!!
(Ashley arches her back in pain, and Anjanette Turner applies a front facelock on the mat. She scissors Ashley's arm through her legs, and clamps down on the neck & head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette going back to the neck & arm of Ashley, trying to pull her arm out of it's socket. She links her fingers together tighter so that she can squeeze Ashley's neck. But Ashley rolls her over into a cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette is forced to break the grounded facelock)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley pulls Anjanette's head into her legs, and then pulls her up & over her shoulder, dropping down into a widow's peak!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley grabs Anjanette in a half nelson and then t-bone suplexes her across the ring! Sexy Anj bounced off her head on that one!
(Ashley sits on Anjanette's back and hooks her arms around her legs. She sits back on Turner's back with a camel clutch. She rocks back with Turner's head in her hands)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley wrenches her head from side to side, rocking back into a camel clutch! Ashley releases it and climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino shakes the ropes and Ashley crotches herself on the turnbuckle steel cable hook. Anjanette climbs to the second turnbuckle with her back to Ashley. She lifts her up into an inverted crucifix, then pitches her off the second rope into an inverted splash mountain bomb!! Ashley bounces off her face!
(The audience boos Turner & Domino. Anjanette gets behind Ashley, hooks her leg and then back cradle suplexes her)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to get to her feet. Turner flips over Ashley with a blockbuster neckbreaker!!
(Anjanette Turner waistlocks Ashley but she reverse a dangerous backdrop driver into a stratusfaction bulldog! The woman outside breaks out in some applause. She grabs Turner by the neck and drives her into the mat with a rock bottom)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Turner into the ropes and then whacks her upside the head with some sweet chin music! She climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino trips her again!
(The America West Arena roars with boos, while Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and waistlocks her. She then belly to back superplexes her! She holds the bridge)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner lifts Ashley up into a suplex then drops her in a falcon arrow!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and then backflips into a gorgeous moonsault splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
(The audience applauds this match with all the near falls. Anjanette drags her by her curly hair over to the corner. She climbs to the second rope, and inverted facelocks Ashley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette tries to jump off with The Turner Tornado but Ashley has it scouted and grabs on to the top rope. She drives her shoulder into Turner's stomach, and then spinebusters her back into the turnbuckle! Ashley then flips her into her acid drop finisher!!
(The crowd leaps to their feet and cheers as Ashley covers a laid out champion)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Domino puts Anjanette's boot on the bottom rope)
Phil Blauer: Domino earns every dime Anjanette's ever gonna pay her right there!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Anjanette Turner into the ropes and clotheslines her out of her boots! Ashley gets behind Turner and applies a masterlock.
Phil Blauer: If Anj gets out of this, she wins 10 G's!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ahsley presses down on the back of Turner's neck with that considerable strength. Peters checking in to see if she wants to tap out.
(Ashley presses Anjanette Turner over her head, and Turner begs to be put down. Domino tries to enter the ring, causing Ashley to drop Turner, and turn her attention to her manager. Rachael grabs Domino by the back of her skirt into the railing!! Ashley then grabs Turner in a three quarter nelson. Zack Daniels runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley going for another acid drop but Anjanette Turner pushes her off into Zack Daniels who steps up on Ashley's thigh, then swings around into a shining wizard knee to the side of her head!!
(The crowd boos as Ashley drops to the mat. Anjanette inverted facelocks her and climbs to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into a Turner Tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(America West Arena boos as "GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays over the loudspeaker. Domino & Zack Daniels grab the Hardkore World Women's Championship belt off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 19 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino hands Anjanette the title and Daniels shakes her hand. This new partnership seems to be benefitting Anjanette's win loss record, but it isn't endearing her to the fans very much.
(Rachael walks into the ring and grabs Anjanette by the throat. The fans jump up and cheer. Domino tries to stop her, but Racheal grabs her by the throat as well)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rachael double chokeslams Turner & Domino!! She grabs Domino and pulls her head into her legs, and jacknife powerbombs her!!
(The audience roars, and Domino weakly rolls out of the ring to safety. Rachael pulls Anjanette's head into her legs, and dedicates the move to an exhausted Ashley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Before Rachael can jackknife the champion, Zack Daniels waistlocks Rachael and backdrop drivers her!!
Phil Blauer: But he did it to a girl!
(Phoenix crowd boos Zack Daniels and he collects Anj, pulling her out of the ring. Racheal rubs the back of her head, and helps Ashley to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley and Rachael swearing revenge at the Hardkore World Women's champion.
Phil Blauer: I think Rachael's mostly just swearing.
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Aug 20, 2005#28
***commercial***
Phil Blauer: Hi. I'm TV's Phil Blauer. If your anything like me, your constantly worrying about fitting your court mandated Community Service hours in your ever increasingly busy schedule. But recently, I've discovered that if you have your own charity, it all counts towards time served! Pretty sweet deal, eh, Mr. & Mrs. America? So I set about putting those that society has given up on back to work. Introducing Pimps 2 Work!
(Camera cuts to a phone bank filled with rows & rows of men in colorful clothing yelling into phones)
Puddin Pop Jenkins: "Sorry"?! "Sorry" ain't my mother fuckin problem. My problem is I ain't got my money.
Phil Blauer: At Pimps 2 Work, we put pimp or "flesh brokers" if they prefered to be called that, to work doing what they do best. Getting their money. And who better but for collection agencies?
Puddin Pop Jenkins: Woah, woah, woah. No one told you to rent Ferris Buehler's Day Off. No one put a gun to your head and told you not to return it for three weeks? But you didn't pay Blockbuster they money. So they had to get Puddin Pop. Now Puddin Pop is getting their money.
Phil Blauer: Pimps 2 Work is the way to take these men's natural talents for good instead of evil. Well, "Good" if your one of the part of the debt related business sucking the blood of middle America.
Lucious: WHAT?!?! Mother fucker don't lie to me! I been to your house. You just got cable! You got enough money to watch Six Feet Under but you ain't got Mastercard's money?? I'm comin over there and my belt buckle's comin with me!
***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now it's time for our first title match of the evening. The Shootfighter puts his West Coast title on the line against "The Excellence of Elegance" Zach Daniels. Last month The Shootfighter defeated Daniels & "Giant" Baba O'Reilly in a Belfast Death Match in Northern Ireland. Now Daniels gets a one on one rematch tonight. He's been training hard for this match, even talking with four time Hardkore World Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner about training him.
Phil Blauer: I dinner that didn't go so well. In fact, I haven't seen a date go so bad since I took out Cokie Roberts. Who knew she didn't like porno flicks?
Yolanda Ando: She hasn't seen the right ones...
(BOOM! Fireworks hit the arena as "Miseria Cantare" by AFI starts. The instrumental part plays complete and Zack comes out with his hood over his head. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner walks out behind him with the Hardkore World Women's Championship strapped around his waist. Daniels puts his thumb under the hood and looks to the left, then the right and then forward before jerking it back and stretching both his arms outward to which a shower of pyros start to fall. They then cockily saunter to the ring and Zack Daniels gets on the apron. He looks at the crowd for a while before jumping over the top rope and going over to the turnbuckle where he perches the middle rope and stretches both his arms outward. He does that for the opposite turnbuckle as well and then takes off his hoodie and awaits The Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels looking to win his first Hardkore America championship here tonight against The Shootfighter. He's definately got a good chance of succeeding, I've never seen Shootfighter this mad since his feud with Soutter.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, when he gets mad he hits the bag hard like this (punches his hand) But when he's really mad, he hits it like this (punches his hand harder)Owwwwww...MEDIC!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels made an appearance earlier tonight, helping "Sexy" Anjanette Turner keep her title belt. She seems to be returning the favor by accompanying him down to the ring.
Yolanda Ando: Daniels wears some blue and red medium sized tights with his initals "ZD" written on his ass. And what an ass! The design is the "Z" overlapping the "D". His ring attire is much like AJ Styles's entrance attire. Same colors as the tights and it says "Excellent" on the back of the hoodie with a big "Z" under it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by 'Sexy' Anjanette Turner; Hailing from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 216 pounds...'THE EXCELLENCE OF ELEGANCE' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
(Audience gives him a mixed reaction. Then "Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and the Arizona fans pop. Judge Death walks out with The Shootfighter, carrying his stainless steel cane. The Hardkore West Coast title belt is strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has to adjust his style once again. From the willy knilly threeway battle he endured in Northern Ireland, to a high flying cruiserweight wrestler like Zack Daniels. But if anyone can do it, it's him.
Phil Blauer: Willy Knilly?
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back with the Hardkore West Coast title belt strapped over it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience applauds. Ron Reid holds up the Hardkore West Coast title belt over his head and then signals for the bell. The two lions circle one another as the fans stomp their feet in anticipation)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter punches at Daniels with a muay thai strike but Zack catches his arm & armdrags him. A second one sends him across the ring. Zack Daniels monkey flips The Shootfighter to the other side of the ring.
(The Shootfighter crawls over to the ropes to get some advice from Judge Death. Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and 619 swinging dropkicks him! Shootfighter covers his face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Zack Daniels with a couple of dragon claw strikes to his chest. He then peppers him with a muay thai kick to his kidney and then under the arm.
(Audience winces at the sound of all the air escaping Daniels' lungs. Shootfighter whacks away with some knife edge chops to Zack's throat. Daniels ducks under one and hits him with a dangerous backdrop driver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels shoots Shootfighter into the ropes and spinning head scissors him over into a russian leg sweep! He rolls over into a pinning position!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels irish whips Shootfighter into the turnbuckles and then cracks him with a superkick! He climbs to the top rope and backflips into a corkscrew shooting star press but Shootfighter rolls out of the way!! Shootfighter applies an on-the-mat cobra clutch and applies a body scissors.
(Zack Daniels waves his arms wildly as Shootfighter pulls back on his arm and presses forward on his neck. He squeezes with those vicelike legs on the sides of Daniels' torso)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels reaches out for the ropes but Shootfighter rolls him on to the other side. Shootfighter releases The ShootClutch and then gets up and tags him with a few muay thai kicks to his lower back. He then squats over him and hits him with a barrage of dragon claw strikes to his chest.
(Shootfighter pulls Daniels up to his feet but Daniels ducks under a muay thai strike and back suplexes Shootfighter into a blue thunder bomb)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels steps to the outside and pulls on the top rope, slingshotting himself over the ropes into a leg drop. He double underhooks Daniels' arms, then kicks his legs out from underneath him with a Devil's Lock DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter gets behind Daniels and hits him with a forearm to the groin! He picks up Daniels in a human torture rack and spins him around & round before dropping him with a Thailand Slam! He hooks his leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps up Zack Daniels in an STF, and then applies a crippler crossface on top.
Phil Blauer: The audience seems sort of dead for this one. Not for any lack of wrestling action, but I think with Zack Daniels interfering in the women's match they're not liking this guy. And Shootfighter isn't a traditional babyface, either. I haven't heard a crowd this quiet...well, since The Shock won his first match earlier tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, but that was one of those stunned silences, this is more of a wait & see quiet.
(The Shootfighter pulls up on Daniels' neck & head as Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner pounds on the mat to root on Zack Daniels)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter has those hands locked and pulls up on Daniels' head as hard as he can. Daniels reaches out and grabs the ropes! Ron Reid forces a break and Shootfighter begrudgingly agrees. Shootfighter irish whips Daniels into the ropes but Daniels comes back with a running STO!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels steps out onto the apron, pulls on the rope and slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, he springboards off the top with a spinning wheel kick!!
(The audience applauds at that move. Zack Daniels double underhooks Shootfighter's arms and then pulls him up into a tiger driver '91)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels headlocks Shootfighter and then uses his body's momentum to tazplex him!! He irish whips Shootfighter into the corner, then handsprings into a backflip elbow but no one's home. Shootfighter cracks Daniels with a few muay thai punches to his nose. Shootfighter then german suplexes him out of the corner!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps his legs up and turns him over into a sharpshooter. He slides Daniels's legs up a little higher to get a better position on it.
(Shootfighter gets Daniels legs up as high as they can go so it is almost a lion tamer. Ron Reid checks in to see if Daniels wants to tap but he refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter releases The ShootCrab, and hovers over him, tattooing him with stiff forearm shots to the back of his neck & head. Daniels fights his way to his feet and drops Shootfighter with a flatliner!
(Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and smacks Shootfighter in the jaw with a running inzuigiri kick. Shootfighter collapses facefirst on the canvas as Daniels climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: 450 Backflip Legdrop!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels grabs Shootfighter in a 3/4 nelson, then runs up the turnbuckles into a Sliced Bread #2 inverted DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels rushes Shootfighter but he belly to belly suplexes Zack over the top rope to the apron! The Shootfighter steps out to the apron, and half nelsons Zack.
(Judge Death drags a wooden table next to the apron. The Shootfighter t-bone suplexes Zack Daniels headfirst through the press table!! The crowd finally comes alive and gives The Shootfighter a huge pop! They begin chanting "SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!!")
Phil Blauer: I don't believe my ears...a Shootfighter chant!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter picks him up and hits a snap suplex on the America West Arena floor! He grabs Daniels by the hair and rams his face into the cornerpost!!
(Daniels twirls around so all of The America West Arena can see his bloody gash over his eye. The Shootfighter comes at him with a clothesline, but Daniels ducks and his arm catches the ringpost)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter's arm caught that cornerpost and now Zack Daniels is standing on the apron. Shootfighter turns around and Daniels runs off the apron and catches him with a tornado DDT on the concrete!!
(Shootfighter's head bounces off the America West Arena, and then he rolls to his side. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner helps a bloody Daniels to his feet. He rolls into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels backflips into a corkscrew shooting star press on a dazed The Shootfighter!!
(The audience pops for that move as both wrestlers lie next to one another exhausted. Zack Daniels rolls Shootfighter into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels spins off the top rope into a spiral tap onto The Shootfighter!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Excellence of Elegance" Zack Daniels steps back out to the apron and waits for Shootfighter to get to his feet. He springs back into the ring with a swandive stunner!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and comes back into a full powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels stands up right into a russian sickle from The Shootfighter! He pounds his chest with a few heart punches, then locks on a tri corner choke!
(Zack Daniels turns beet red from lack of oxygen as The Shootfighter clamps down on his windpipe. Ron Reid crouches over a blood soaked Zack Daniels and asks him if he wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner puts Zack Daniels foot on the rope! She put his boot on the ropes and calls Ron Reid's attention to it, and he forces The Shootfighter to break the tri-corner choke!
(The fans boo, and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner runs over and clotheslines Judge Death on the floor! Zack Daniels gives The Shootfighter a t-bone suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner grabs that stainless steel singapore cane and hands it to Zack Daniels. Daniels spins around and cracks The Shootfighter in the head with that steel cane!!
(The Shootfighter staggers around with some blood running down his face. Zack Daniels runs over, steps up on Shootfighter's knee into a shining wizard kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lights Out!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it! Zack Daniels has upset The Shootfighter for The Hardkore West Coast Championship!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 48 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...'THE EXCELLENCE OF ELEGANCE' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
("Sexy" Anjanette Turner straps the Hardkore West Coast title around his waist. He raises his arms and steps up on the second rope. The audience gives him a round of applause for such a good match)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has held on to that title since April, and tonight relinquishes it in a hard fought match up.
(The Phoenix crowd gives The Shootfighter and Judge Death a standing ovation for a good match. Zack Daniels continues to hold up his arms high in celebration)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels starts a new era for the Hardkore West...Sexy Anj just cracked Daniels in the back of the head with that stainless steel singapore cane!!
(The America West Arena gasps, and then boos as Anjanette stands over Daniels' unconcious body. She winds up and cracks Daniels between the legs with that singapore cane! Daniels sits up in pain)
Phil Blauer: That woke him up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner first used Zack Daniels interference to retain her Hardkore World Women's Championship...and now she turns on him?
Phil Blauer: Women. I could have told you that.
(Zack Daniels is back up and threatening Anjanette. She backs into the corner, and Daniels snatches the cane out of her hands. He brandishes it and she cowers underneath him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus slides into the ring with a chair and clubs him in the head!
(The audience pops at the sound of the chair cracking Daniels' skull. Sexy Anjanette Turner pulls Zack Daniels up, but he's out on his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus winds back and cracks Zack Daniels in the head with that chair again!!
Phil Blauer: Where is this coming from??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels has done something in his life to raise the ire of both Zack Daniels and the Hardkore World Women's Champion.
(Syberus walks out of the ring, back through the curtain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Let's get a camera back there and try and see why this happened!
(The camera opens on Syberus backstage with his World Light Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. His partner in the Connection, Adrian Tanner, is stood behind him as Good Ol’ Barbecue Chicken holds a microphone.]
Good Ol’ B.C.: “Syberus…”
(Good Ol’ Barbecue Chicken chews on some… barbecue chicken.]
Good Ol’ B.C.: “What can you say to justify your attack on Zack Daniels after his match with Shootfighter?”
Syberus: “B.C., it’s the dawn of a new era. And into this bleak area step two men; the two chosen sons of professional Wrestling. Those two men are Syberus and Adrian Tanner; the Connection. Future Hardkore World Tag Team Champions. Now Zack Daniels did something very stupid, B.C. Zack Daniels got my attention. Sure, I could’ve let him off light like all the other minor talent I just beat once and forget about… but Zack Daniels is different. Zack Daniels is trying his very best to put a spanner in the works of the grand vision. And although his futile existence is like the buzzing of a fly to us… he must be stopped.”
“He must be crushed, and killed, then scraped off of the counter and tossed in the garbage, rolled up in the sports section. That’s why I’m putting my World Light Heavyweight Championship on the line against Zack Daniels in Los Angeles next month at The Staples Center. A bizarre punishment some might say, but I work in mysterious ways, you dig? You see, that won't be the only title on the line. I want that new belt you have as well. The West Coast title will be on the line. The winner will walk out with both titles over their shoulder. Title vs. Title, Zack Daniels vs. Syberus!”
Good Ol’ B.C.: “Fair enough, go get ‘em, Champ!”
(Good Ol’ B.C. guzzles on a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi Max, as Syberus shakes his head and walks off.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is the match for the Hardkore World Tag Team titles. This is a steel cage grudge match of the worst kind. The Un-Stable takes on a pair of wrestlers that have been thorns in their side for a while. "The Punisher" Dan Stein swerved The Un-Stable in Palm Springs and used them for his own means, before attacking them and joining up with their sworn enemy Cobryn. "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson interrupted the Hall of Fame speech on that same show, to accuse Andrew Karnage of using steroids.
Phil Blauer: That's going out on a limb.
(The America West Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the Hardkoretron, three symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, the arena lights up again, and standing there is "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson & “The Punisher” Dan Stein. The Punisher is raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the boos of the crowd. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads them to the ring area.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: A noise Stein's not used to. These loud boos.
Phil Blauer: You get used to em.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein and Jackson don't seem to even be on the same page. Rally Jackson didn't even arrive to the arena until recently, so they haven't even had time to talk. Domino has been busy managing her new client, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
Yolanda Ando: Rally Jackson wears a green capoeira gui with yellow trim with barefeet. Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Steel Cage Match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Domino; from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!! His partner, from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!!!"
(The crowd boos both men. Then the America West Arena goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans at the top of the rampway. The Phoenix fans cheer wildly. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me...It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over arena as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. RHIII heads down to ring with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt around his waist with a slow cocky strut with Andrew Karnage & Kilroy Evans following behind, slapping fans hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable looking to get some revenge on "The Punisher" Dan Stein for embarrassing them in Palm Springs. Karnage also wants to silence Rally Jackson for good.
Phil Blauer: That's not hard to do lately.
Yolanda Ando: Robert Hunglestien III is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. Andrew Karnage wears some black knee length basketball shorts with "AK-47" down the outsides of each leg in dark red. The Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow. Underneath, Hunglestien's robe he wears a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the III from the end of his name. He also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. His boots are black and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans. (Phoenix fans cheer) Featuring first from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner is from Cleveland, Ohio; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(The Phoenix fans pop for Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III. Ron Reid signals for the bell, and Domino, Kilroy Evans & Bill Kasal leave the ring. Hunglestien & Jackson agree to start the match off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage and Rally Jackson starting it off, both some stiff workers. Rally Jackson follows him in with a kawada kick to the head! Another one to his face, then a hard one to his side. He drops Andrew Karnage headfirst on the mat with a head & arm brainbuster!!
(The crowd boos. Rally Jackson irish whips Karnage but he reverses it and sends Rally into the corner. Karnage smashes him with a few forearms smashes, while Kilroy Evans applauds on the outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally drops on his ass, and Andrew Karnage bootscrapes him a few times, then gives him a Facewash bootscrape! He picks Rally up and tosses him across the ring in an exploder '98!!
(Dan Stein yawns and steps through the cage doors. The America West Arena boos as he takes a confused Domino by the hand and leads her back to the locker room)
Phil Blauer: Now where's he going? Why don't I get to leave?? I got a hot date.
Yolanda Ando: No means no, Phil.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein leaving his partner Rally Jackson to the wolves in that cage! Inside, Andrew Karnage climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Rally Jackson punches him in the stomach. He pulls Karnage on to his shoulders then drops down in a musclebuster!!
(Rally Jackson turns around to tag in Dan Stein and sees just a cage wall. He turns around and watches him waving goodbye with a confused Domino in tow. Robert Hunglestien III & Andrew Karnage look over their shoulders at him, and Stein flips off Kilroy Evans at ringside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage tags in Robert Hunglestien III who sneaks up behind Rally and lifts him up in an atomic drop, but tosses him facefirst into the cage!!
(The crowd pops. Rally staggers back with a cut over his eye. Hunglestien gets behind Rally and takes him down to the mat with a waistlock. He applies a crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III links his fingers together and pulls him up by the head. Rally bleeds down onto Hunglestien's wrists. Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out, but Jackson refuses. But what could be the point, with no partner?
Phil Blauer: Rally's gonna win this thing by himself.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Jackson into the ropes and takes him down with a hart attack clothesline! He pulls him up by the arm and pulls him in with a shortarm clothesline but Rally ducks underneath and turns it into a backdrop driver!!
(The fans boo. Rally steps over Hunglestien and bends him back into a cattle mutilation! Hunglestien shouts out in agony, while Tigerheart rocks back & forth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs in and boots Rally in the head to break the cattle mutilation.
Phil Blauer: Why not? Who's to stop him?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid!
Phil Blauer: Ha! That guy can't stop gingivitus.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III grab Rally Jackson and give him a double slingshot suplex!! Robert Hunglestien covers him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien tags in Andrew Karnage. Karnage hammerlocks Rally's arm behind his back and scoops him up. He runs into the center of the ring and powerslams him on to his chicken winged arm!
(A bleeding Rally Jackson clutches his elbow. Karnage flips Jackson up and slams him down into an alabama slammer!! He pulls Rally up by the dreads and irish whips him into the corner, Rally hops up onto the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson backflips into a kick to Karnage's face! Rally hops onto Karnage's back and wraps his legs around his waist. Jackson clamps down on his throat with a triangle choke!
Phil Blauer: Who's that coming down to the ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's High Maintenance. What are they doing here?
(The America West Arena boos as Rally begins rolling Andrew Karnage around the ring in the triangle choke. Robert Hunglestien III runs into the ring and kneedrops Rally Jackson in the back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III helps his partner to his feet, and then irish whips Rally Jackson into the ropes. The Un-Stable double superkick Rally Jackson under the chin!
(Hunglestien steps through the ropes and allows Karnage to tag him in legally. Karnage steps through the ropes, and notices High Maintenance. He shakes the cage threateningly, but "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards waves like their beneath him. Robert Hunglestien III hooks Jackson in a cradle suplex, but drops him forward so his own knee goes into his stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III hits Jackson with Paradise Hills! He pulls him up into a kataha-jime, then drops him backwards into a belly to back suplex!!
(The Phoenix crowd cheers Hunglestien. He irish whips Rally Jackson into the ropes and hits him with a flying kneelift! He whips him into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson blocks a backdrop and reverses with a canadian piledriver!! Wow!
(Crowd pops, and Rally Jackson steps over him with a dragon clutch. He pulls back on Hunglestien's head with an inverted facelock. Hunglestien tries to loosen his group with his fingers but to no avail)
Phil Blauer: High Maintenance continuing to watch this match. This sure thing for The Un-Stable just became a little less sure.
Guillermo O'Bannon: To be sure. Andrew Karnage comes in and once again breaks up Rally's submission hold with a double ax handle to the back of the head. Robert Hunglestien gets to his feet and pulls him up on to his shoulders with a fireman's carry. He drops him in an FU!
(Robert Hunglestien tags in Andrew Karnage. Karnage lifts Rally up onto his shoulders again for another fireman's carry. Robert Hunglestien III comes off the ropes with a spinning neckbreaker as Andrew Karnage drops him in a samoan drop)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage folds him like an accordian with a tiger suplex! He sits a bloody Rally Jackson on the top turnbuckle but Jackson hits him with a stiff punch to the chops. He inverted facelocks Andrew and hops off with an inverted tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien III stomps the back of Rally's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As Ron Reid forces Hunglestien out of the ring, Rally Jackson lifts Karnage up in a suplex and then piledrives him!!
Phil Blauer: Wait, where did High Maintenance go?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I dunno.
Phil Blauer: Where did the tag team title belts go?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Doesn't Ron De La O have em?
Phil Blauer: Unless they look like crab ice...no.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Did the former tag champions take their belts back without winning them? Wait, now Andrew Sinclair is walking down to the ring. What's he doing there?
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable caused him to lose to The Microshocker earlier this evening. With High Maintenance already stealing the belts, Sinclair is going to have to get creative on how to humiliate them even worse.
(Rally Jackson sets Andrew Karnage up for a styles clash, but Karnage blocks it with his arms. He does a push-up and slips his legs out of Rally's grip. He runs into the ropes and Rally turns around into a yakuza kick! Andrew Sinclair sneaks up behind Kilroy Evans and rams his face into the cage at ringside)
Phil Blauer: Andrew Sinclair grabs a steel chair and cracks Kilroy across the back with it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage lifts Rally Jackson up into a chokeslam and then drops him into a backbreaker!! Andrew Sinclair looks to help Rally win this match and tosses the chair over the cage, but Hunglestien intercepts it. Hunglestien bends the frame over Rally's skull!!
(Andrew Karnage irish whips a bleeding Rally Jackson into the ropes and flips him asshole over elbows with The Nightmare Lariot, while Robert Hunglestien takes him out with a shoulderblock to the backs of his knees!! The crowd cheers wildly while Andrew Karnage makes the pin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Three Car Pile-Up!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The America West Arena cheers and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays. Robert Hunglestien III and Andrew Karnage celebrate, and Kilroy Evans suddenly pops up)
Phil Blauer: Wait, Kilroy Evans suddenly doesn't look very hurt anymore.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans and Andrew Sinclair are...shaking hands?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 9 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(Andrew Sinclair opens up the steel cage door and congratulates Andrew Karnage and Robert Hunglestien III on their 2 on 1 victory. The fans cheer Sinclair now)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair, has been playing The Un-Stable's victim this whole time, then joins them?!
(Andrew Karnage asks Ron Reid where their title belts are. He asks Ron De La O who shrugs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III and Andrew Karnage are livid that De La O & Reid have lost their titles. Hunglestien is threatening to beat both to a bloody pulp, but Karnage is holding him back. Sinclair directs their attention over to a bloody and helpless Rally Jackson. They start laying in to him with kicks and stomps.
Phil Blauer: Listen to these fans cheering this. They are assholes. They'd go nuts if they saw the Rodney King tape.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair applies his Straightshot submission hold, while Andrew Karnage continues with the stomps!
(Kilroy Evans and Robert Hunglestien III continue to push Ron Reid around asking where their belts are)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now we have Syberus putting his Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship on the line against Blak Lung.
Phil Blauer: Syberus could be a little winded after the beatdown he put on "The Elegance of Excellance" in our earlier West Coast title match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, it's "The Excellence of Elegance" Zack Daniels.
Phil Blauer: I don't think so.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, check your index card. It says...I'll be damned.
Phil Blauer: I told you so.
("Caught in a Mosh" by Anthrax plays and the crowd boos. Blak Lung walks out with Judge Death. Judge Death waves his gavel around while Blak Lung sneers towards the audience, threatening them with his trusty rusty coat hanger)
Phil Blauer: Judge Death looking to redeem himself after his other two clients, Vampira & The Shootfighter lost their respective matches earlier this evening.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung an entirely different wrestler than Syberus is used to facing for that World Light Heavyweight title. He's closer to Abdullah the Butcher than Great Sasuke.
Phil Blauer: How so?
Yolanda Ando: Blak Lung wears army surpluss jungle boots, green BDU pants, and a white tank top undershirt. His receeding hair line is covered by scar tissue. His black, nappy hair is long and unkept with a patchy beard.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Judge Death; from Accra in The Republic of Ghana; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds...BLAK LUNG!!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and jeers. Judge Death smacks away the garbage being hurled at the ring with his gavel. Then “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays and the crowd cheers. Syberus steps out through the curtain with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As we said earlier, Syberus attacked Zack Daniels earlier tonight with a chair and challenged him to a title vs. title match next month in Los Angeles.
Phil Blauer: He may be getting a little ahead of himself. He has to survive the tetnus inducing Blak Lung.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus is wearing dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union. The Light Heavyweight title is around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 232 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(The crowd cheers and Syberus raises his arms. He hands his belt over to Ron Reid when suddenly Blak Lung sneaks up behind him and cradles him. The referee signals for the bell)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung swings him around in to a hangman's neckbreaker! He steps through the ropes out to the apron, and slingshots himself over the top rope into an arabian press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base and Syberus reaches out and slaps Blak Lung right across the mouth!
(Blak Lung's eyes flash with fire and he comes at Syberus, but he catches Lung and flapjacks him facefirst on the mat! He shoots Blak Lung into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus gets him on the way back with a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung staggers up to his feet and gets hit in the guts with a spear! He follows it up with a shining wizard to the side of the head!
(The fans cheer for Syberus as he pumps them up. He irish whips Blak Lung into the ropes, but he comes back with a clothesline that Syberus ducks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus counters with a neckbreaker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls him up by the afro but he rams his knee into Syberus' stomach. He drives Syberus' head into the mat with a DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung climbs to the top turnbuckle, and somersaults into a leg drop but Syberus rolls out of the way!! Syberus german suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus runs him into the ropes with a bridging backroll press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus scoops Blak Lung up and falcon arrows him on his knee!! Bad Connection!
(The audience cheers as Syberus points into the camera and says, "Watch this, Zachery. You Canadian cunt." He single underhooks Blak Lung's limp arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus drives Blak Lung's head into the canvas with The Pure Confidence DDT!!! He pins a prone Blak Lung.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience cheers and “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays over the America West Arena. Syberus sits up off of Blak Lung and snatches his belt away from Ron Reid)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 4 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(The audience cheers as Syberus walks out with the belt over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus puts his belt on the line next month at The Staples Center but so is Zack Daniels. The winner will have two belts over that shoulder at the end of the night.
Phil Blauer: How so?
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Alley
7
Dark Match Jobber
Aug 23, 2005#37
(Alley is running past the camera chasing her pet tiger, Snuggles. She runs by again but stops to talk to the camera crew, who is scared to death.)
Alley: That’s right Tammy, I had you beat. Man, I guess I’m the one that got screwed in the end this time huh? Well, I guess that means that you’ll stay and I can kick your fat ass again. Oh, by the way, you can probably cure that 7 year ich by washing your cloths. How long have you been wearing that nasty shirt, do you need change for the laundry mat? Yuck!
(Snuggles comes around the corner and Alley notices.)
Alley: Come here you bad tiger! I’ll get you! (she turns back to the camera again.) While I’m catching my tiger, why don’t you visit a dry-cleaner. Gezz, at least take a swim with a bar of soap. Snuggles, no diner tonite for you, and no eating camera men!
(Alley oop.)
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Hardkore Jonnie Valentine
2,748
Legend
Aug 23, 2005#38
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is a match I've been waiting for all year. Death Gojira puts his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship on the line against Lucifer Jones. Death Gojira had a hellacious match in Northern Ireland with Kilroy Evans. One has to wonder what he has left and what was left hanging on the razor wire in Ulster Hall.
Phil Blauer: I don't have to wonder anything. You're not the boss of me.
(The lights turn a deep shade of blood red, and the sound of white noise blasts over the PA)
Phil Blauer: This is a nice change. You notice that everyone has the lights go out in their entrances?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slips & falls have increased by 40% this year. He had to fire Bloody Martyr & Hero to afford the insurance.
("Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 plays and Lucifer Jones bursts through the curtains. He starts looking out over the fans, and getting involved with the one's by the security railings; talking shit back to them and laughing at crippled children)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones really getting into it with one particular fan. He walks over to the guardrail and lunges at him.
Phil Blauer: It's Tuxedo Mask! How'd he get in here?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He bought a ticket.
Phil Blauer: No, I mean how did he fit in that seat? He must use butter.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer knocks Tux’s popcorn from his hand!
Phil Blauer: Wow, Tux is out like $17!
(As the two argue, Death Gojira runs out through the curtain up and sneaks up behind Lucifer Jones. He waistlocks Lucy and german suplexes him in the aisleway!! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters signals for the bell and our match is underway! Death Gojira german suplexes him again in the aisle! He picks Jones up for a third one and drops the back of his head on the railing!!
(The crowd roars as Jones clutches his back. Gojira picks him up by the head and lifts him up in a vertical suplex. Before dropping him in a driver, Gojira locks in an upside down cobra clutch, and then drops him on the entrance ramp!! The audience goes wild, chanting "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Phil Blauer: I can't believe what I just saw!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira just dropped his back on the rampway!
Phil Blauer: No, Tuxedo Mask is eating that popcorn off the floor!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira orders a fan to relinquish his unfinished bottles of soda. Gojira takes the bottle and smashes it over the head of LuJo, tearing a horrible gash on his forehead!!
(The Phoenix fans cheer as LuJo begins to stagger around. Gojira takes another bottle and smashes it over his head again!! Lucifer Jones doubles forward but still stays on his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Frustrated, Gojira takes a folding chair and dents it over Jones' face!! Lucifer Jones drops and Gojira follows up with an arabian facebuster, hitting LuJo's face while embedding the glass to the back of his head!!
(The fans continue to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Death Gojira smiles and "Ree-ornks" at them. He pulls a bloody Lucifer Jones up to his feet and begins hammering him with punches)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones ducks under a right hand and lifts Goji up in an atomic drop, then slams him crotch first into the steel post!
(The cheers turn to jeers. Lucifer Jones wipes some blood out of his eyes and on to some fans on the front row. LuJo then drops him onto the steel guard railing with a german suplex)
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones paying it forward!
(Lucifer Jones looks like he's in a rage. He literally rips a section of the steel guard rail away from it's supports and spikes it into Gojira's face!! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones takes the guard railing, lays it across the apron and another section of railing so it forms a bridge. He then grabs a fan's bottle of Arizona iced tea and bashes it over Death Gojira's head!!
Phil Blauer: The glass is breaking like a Best of Stone Cold DVD!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones rolls Death Gojira back into the ring but hangs his head off of the apron. He takes a shard of glass and drags it across Gojira's forehead, making his blood flow too! Lucifer Jones climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, guillotine leg dropping Gojira's head hanging off the apron!!
(The America West Arena rocks with boos. Lucifer Jones pulls Death Gojira's head into his legs, but Gojira blocks the piledriver. He reverses with a backdrop into a piledriver behind him on the concrete floor!! Lucifer Jones' head leaves a blood smear where it hits)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira scoops Lucifer Jones up and then tombstone piledrives him on The America West Arena floor!! He rolls Jones back into the ring. Gojira hops up on to the middle of the top rope and then springboards off the ropes with an armdrag!
(Gojira irish whips Lucifer Jones and flapjacks him over the ropes and onto the guardrail bridge!! The crowd pops huge, as Lucifer Jones shakily stands up on the bridged ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Jones shakes the ropes, crotching him. Jones then runs down the apron, leaps up to the top turnbuckle, and in one smooth motion, super backdrop driver's Gojira off the top rope and headfirst into the guardrail bridge, the weight of both men warping the steel!!!
(The fans chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!" as both men lie on the bent in half ladder. Lucifer Jones gets up and starts laying in to Death Gojira with some punches)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones braces himself against the apron and starts kicking Gojira in the stomach. He hauls off and slaps Death Gojira across the face!
(The Phoenix fans boo and Lucifer Jones spits on a blood drenched Gojira, then they boo louder. Jones cracks Gojira in the face with a closed fist. Lucifer rolls Gojira back into the ring and hops up onto the apron. He pulls himself up onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones springboards off the ropes into a tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones pulls him up into a front facelock. Death Gojira reverses it into a fireman's carry. Death Gojira spins around round in an airplane spin, then turns it into a Kumunga-Among-Ya spinebuster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira sits on Jones' back and straightjackets his hands around his own neck. Gojira pulls back on his hands with a crossarm camel clutch! Jones blood runs down his face on to his arms, as Death Gojira yanks back on his hands.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Lucifer Jones wants to submit, but Jones can barely answer with his own arms braced against his face. Gojira releases his hands, and scoops him up on to his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira drops into a reverse bulldog from a bodyslam! He keeps his legs hooked.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira butterflies Lucifer Jones arms and lifts him up into a double underhook brainbuster!!
(Death Gojira stomps around the ring "Skreee-ornk"ing. He scoops up Lucifer Jones again, and bodyslams him but Lucifer Jones inside cradles him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones has hold of the bottom rope for leverage!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr-(Death Gojira kicks out)
(The Phoenix fans breathe with a sigh of relief. Lucifer Jones hooks him into a cradle suplex and lifts him up in a hanging fisherman's suplex, but drops the back of his head onto Lucifer's knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones unravels some of Gojira's bandages and starts to choke him with it. Jones strangling him with his own mummy wrap!
(Lucifer Jones holding on tight to the makeshift noose, then he flings Gojira over the top rope and hangs him off the side! Lucifer Jones choking the life out of him and also kicking him in the back for added measure)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Horror of White Chapel pulls Gojira back up so his head is hanging off the back of the top rope. Jones inverted facelocks him, and hits a Stigmata brainbuster back into the ring!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones double underhooks Gojira's arms, and pulls him up over his shoulder into a canadian backbreaker. But the blood that he bled on to his arms allows Gojira's slip behind him onto his feet. He applies a chicken wing crossface to Lucifer Jones.
(Death Gojira ties up their legs and drives Lucifer Jones bloody face into the canvas with a leg sweep! He pulls Jones up and lifts him up in a suplex, and then drops his stomach on the rop rope, slumping him over)
Phil Blauer: Now I recognize Lucifer Jones. I had never seen him from that angle before. I think he still owes me my change.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira takes his head in a front facelock and springboards off the second rope, over the top rope, and drives Lucifer’s head into the steel steps with a DDT!!!
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones just forgot high school and most of math!
(The America West Arena rocks with "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira gets up and steps over Jones’ body and yells “Am I cartoon character now?!”)
Phil Blauer: Death Gojira taking him to task for some comments he made this month. I hope he doesn't do that to me.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira rolls out a garbage can from outside the ring.
Phil Blauer: From the way he's moving it, it looks like there's something heavy in it. It could be a gallon of milk or a puppy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I assume it's something heavy for him, not for you, Phil.
(Death Gojira pulls a bloody Lucifer Jones up and lifts him up onto his shoulder. He pitches him forward into a dominator on the upright garbage can!! The trash can is completely crushed, and Gojira pulls out a cinder block from the wrecked can. The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He had a cinder block in there! Death Gojira hops up on to the apron, then backflips off the second rope with an asai moonsault into a reverse DDT on the cement!!
(The crowd continues to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Death Gojira pulls Lucifer Jones onto the apron. He steps up on the apron with him, then pulls Jones onto his feet. Lucifer ducks under a Death Gojira punch and atomic drops his groin on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones steps through the ropes back into the ring, and full nelsons the perched Death Gojira. He drops him backwards into a dragon suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Gojira is on his hands & knees and Lucifer Jones comes off the ropes with a sick soccer kick to the face! He grabs Gojira by the legs and wheelbarrows him up & over into a german suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira lifts his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls Gojira up and drops him down into a jumping sitdown ganso bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hooks Gojira in a leg capture suplex, but Gojira brings his free leg up into Jones' groin. Death Gojira threads Jones' arm through his legs and pumphandles him up onto his shoulder. He drives Jones bloody skull through the canvas with a steiner screwdriver!!
(Tuxedo Mask runs down to the ring with Gojira's barbed wire wrapped wooden chair! He slides it into the ring, and Death Gojira hooks Lucifer Jones up into a cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira drops Lucifer Jones head on the barbed wire wrapped Goji Chair!!
(The fans cheer, as blood leaks out of Jones' head onto the canvas. Tuxedo Mask douses the Goji Chair down with some lighter fluid. He hands Gojira a zippo lighter and sets the chair ablaze)
Phil Blauer: We could be seeing Sniff the Borax here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes. When LuJo comes back, DG hits him with a spinning side slam onto the burning Goji-chair!!!
(The fans are deafening with chants of "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr-(Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The Phoenix fans groan at the near fall. Lucifer Jones clutches the burned parts of his back. Death Gojira pulls Jones up and irish whips him into the ropes but Lucifer ducks under a clothesline)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones counters with an STO! Jones applies a front facelock on Gojira, and chicken wings his arm. He drops it into a neckbreaker, wrenching both Goji's arm and neck!! The Toxic Shock Drop!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones steps over Gojira and applies a buffalo sleeper camel clutch that he calls The Bloke Choke! He pulls back on the head & arm of Death Gojira as Mike Peters pleading with him to tap out before he bleeds to death!
Phil Blauer: That could go for both of them.
(The audience claps faster & faster for Gojira to break out of The Bloke Choke. Jones releases his arms and then jumps onto the small of Gojira's back. Jones pulls Gojira up into an inverted facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls him up into a Stigmata brainbuster but Gojira falls behind him and rams his head into the turnbuckles! Gojira pulls his Jones' head into his legs and straightjackets his arms. He uses his own arms to pull him up by his wrists into a tigerdriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask rolls the cinder block into the ring and the audience buzzes with anticipation.
Phil Blauer: Boy, this crowd sure wants to see Lucifer Jones' brains spilled out. I'm ordering psychological profiles of everyone in this arena.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira crotches Lucifer Jones on the top turnbuckle. Gojira steps up on to the second turnbuckle and butterflies Jones' arms. Gojira double underhook DDTs Jones' head on the cinder block!!!
(The fans are leaping up & down in celebration, chanting "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira drapes a limp arm over him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira irish whips Jones, but Lucifer reverses it and sends him into the ropes. Lucifer Jones picks him up and drops an emerald frosion brainbuster on the cinder block!!!
(The America West Arena rocks with boos, both men lie next to one another. Bleeding buckets. Mike Peters starts in on the count)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...
Referee Mike Peters: 2...
(Fans chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Referee Mike Peters: 3...
Referee Mike Peters: 4...
Referee Mike Peters: 5...
(Lucifer Jones stirs first and turns over on his side, bleeding down his tattooed chest)
Referee Mike Peters: 6...
Referee Mike Peters: 7...
(Death Gojira sits up a little as the crowd continues to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Referee Mike Peters: 8...
Referee Mike Peters: 9...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is the first on his feet and staggers over to Death Gojira. He slaps him right across the face!
(The crowd boos, and Jones follows it right up with a big fat loogie on Gojira's bloody body. He pulls Jones up into a butterfly position, then lifts him up onto his shoulder in a double underhook canadian backbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones drills Gojira's head into the mat with a DeathDriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones applies a cobra clutch, then lifts him up in the air, but Gojira slips out of it into an armdrag! Death Gojira scoops Lucifer Jones up and snow plows his head on the smashed Goji Chair!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts Lucifer Jones up in a hanging suplex, but then swings it around into an ace crusher!
(Death Gojira pulls the smashed metal trash can into the ring and positions Jones in front of it. He hooks him in a cradle suplex position)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts him up into a fisherman's suplex but then turns it into a tigerdriver on the trash can!!
(The fans chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA" Death Gojira hooks Lucifer Jones' leg and Peters slides in for the count)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira gets under Jones' legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. He drops the back of LuJo's head on the cinder block with an ocean cyclone suplex!!!
(The room is deafending with chants of "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Tuxedo Mask searches under the ring and retrieves another Goji-Chair)
Phil Blauer: Where are they getting these things from? Jonnie should go under that thing with a metal detector before the show.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask and Death Gojira lights that chair up again! Lucifer Jones irish whips Death Gojira into the turnbuckles so hard that he flips upside down!
(The crowd cheers Lucifer Jones' predictament. Death Gojira climbs the ropes and stands on the second turnbuckle and grabs Jones' legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira pulls him up into a wheelbarrow but Jones rolls up into bulldog on the flaming chair!!!
(The fans chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Jones snatches the flaming ladder from underneath Gojira, as spasms around the mat in unimaginable pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is brandishing that flaming chair in his hand...
Phil Blauer: Who are these guys??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two large gentleman are in the ring right now with those red masks on. The mask is Lucifer Jones' father's but they don't look very fatherly at him right now. One of em takes a baseball bat to the back of Jones' head!!
(The fans rejoice at Lucifer Jones getting his. The masked men help a burned and bloody Death Gojira to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira's so out of it, he thinks it's Tux and covers Lucifer Jones!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (One of the masked men club Gojira on the back of the head with the baseball bat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's going on here?
Phil Blauer: You're asking me? I barely know where to sit!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The masked men roll Lucifer Jones over on top of Death Gojira!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans boo and rain garbage and debris down on the ring, as "Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 plays. The two masked men quickly escape, Jones "wakes" up and looks shocked that he just won, but then see's the masked men running down the aisle towards the back, and Jones mouths "What the fuck!?")
"Wild" Bill Kasal: At 16 minutes 20 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...LUCIFER JONES!!!"
(Lucifer Jones snatches the Hardkore America Heavyweight title belt from Mike Peters and starts limping after the masked men)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones seemingly chasing after the men who just handed him the Hardkore America championship! Death Gojira is outside the ring tearing it apart!
(The fans are booing, and Gojira tosses the steel ringsteps into the ring. Mike Peters runs for cover as Eerie Von & Tuxedo Mask try and calm him down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now fans we have a match that is sure to be a classic. At Hardkore Helloween 2004, Big Bad Bill accomplished the impossible and made Cobryn submit, winning one of the biggest upsets in wrestling history.
Phil Blauer: Would you rank that up there with 1-2-3 Kid vs. Razor Ramon?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'd put that up there with the angle they stole that from, Eddie Gilbert vs. Shane Douglas in UWF. Since that match last October, Big Bad Bill has tore threw the Hardkore World ranks, winning the tournament for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship from two time Champion Cyrus Williams. But now he has his biggest challenge of his young reign, Cobryn.
("No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the Phoenix crowd boos. After a few moments, Cobryn steps out with a long black silk robe that trails behind him a good four feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has climbed every mountain there is to climb. He's won the World Championship in Ring Syndicate, UWA, and Ascendent Wrestling. But Hardkore World, a world championship that is 18 years old, a title that has been fought over by some of the greatest wrestlers this sport has ever seen, is still a goal he has not achieved. He hopes to not only win the belt that has been just out of reach his entire career here tonight, but also erase his one loss of his career.
Phil Blauer: Wow, good intro.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thanks, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Now mine seems sort of silly.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm sure it's good. Go ahead.
Phil Blauer: Nah...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Come on, sir.
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, come on, Phil.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Actually, with the women's fiveway match going to a time limit draw, we are running a little heavy...
Phil Blauer: Ok! (clears his throat) "Cobryn punches retards. Big Bad Bill sounds like a {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore}'s imaginary friend. I think Bill will beat Cobryn to get justice for the puncheded retards."
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Wow.
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, I liked that one much better than Guillermo's.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yeah!
Yolanda Ando: Let me get my bearings here, after being swept off my feet by Phil's beatuiful allocution. Cobryn wears black wrestling boots with white taped fist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is the Main Event of the evening. (The crowd applauds) It is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! (Applause gets louder) Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, hailing from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...COBRYN!!!"
(The America West Arena boos, and Cobryn takes a moment to soak in it, then goes back to jogging in place to warm up. Then "Headless Children" by WASP begins. Smoke fills the entrance ramp and black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walk towards the ring. He proudly slaps his six man title belt over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill looking down the aisle at Cobryn with a look, I've never seen any of Cobryn's opponents with. A confidence that comes from being the only man to not only defeat him but injure him with one of his lethal submissions.
Phil Blauer: An arm injury that still nags him to this day. I doubt Big Bad Bill will go very long before he goes right back to it.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. A black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves, along with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship belt proudly strapped around his waist. The Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belt is slung over his shoulder
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPION & HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
(The America West Arena gives him a huge ovation. Ron Reid holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight title belt over his head, and then signals for the bell. Big Bad Bill and Cobryn circle one another)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn catches Big Bad Bill in the jaw with a jab. He snaps a few more to Bill's chin. Bill returns with a hard punch of his own, a second one backs Cobryn up. Cobryn counters with a large haymaker punch!
(Big Bad Bill staggers, and then Cobryn hits him with a second one, and a third. He lines him up for a pointed elbow smash which leaves Bill enough time for a punch to the arm pit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill slugs Cobryn in the chest, then follows with a combi-punch to his jaw.
Phil Blauer: It's a slugfest!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pokes Bill in the eye, and then bell claps his head with his forearms. He lifts Bill up in a suplex then drops his ankles on the top rope, but Bill blocks the slingshot by wrapping his feet around the rope.
(Cobryn releases Bill and then drops a pointed elbow to the back of Bill's head. Cobryn pulls Bill up and goes for his hip toss powerbomb, but Triple B rolls with the motion, capturing Coby’s head with his legs, and then delivers a hurricanrana!! The crowd applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Cobryn into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a yakuza kick! Bill grabs the second ropes and rams his shoulder into Cobryn's stomach several times.
(Big Bad Bill whacks Cobryn across the chest with a karate chop. The America West Arena "Wooooo"s. Four more chops and four more woooos. Cobryn can't take the pain anymore and drops to his knees, begging Bill for mercy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill laughs at a pitiful looking Cobryn, and Cobryn hits him low! Cobryn pulls him by the waistline of his pants, and rams him shoulderfirst into the cornerpost!
Phil Blauer: Cobryn is picking his spots.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn half nelsons Bent Over Bill and drops him backwards into a tigerplex '85!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Cobryn applies a side headlock on Bill before he can get to his feet. Bill tries to push him off but Cobryn has it in snug. Cobryn grinds Big Bad Bill's head as hard as he can)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and straightjackets his arms, aztec suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Big Bad Bill gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and applies a rear naked choke! Cobryn falls back to the mat with Bill on top of him, clamping down on his windpipe.
(Bill reaches back and grabs Cobryn's nuts. Cobryn yelps and releases the rear naked choke. Before he can fully get up, Bill grabs two handfuls of hair and rams his face into the mat with an X factor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill lifts Cobryn up for a back suplex, then reverse it into a chokeslam! He applies an armbar to the arm he broke back in October. Cobryn looks a little scared.
Phil Blauer: I know that look. It's the look of "Will he break my arm again?" I get that same look whenever Bill Cosby comes in the room.
(Bill applies a claw to the pressure point to the back of Cobryn's neck. Ron Reid crouches down to check and see if he taps out. He then spins around on Cobryn's back and applies a reverse hammerlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill wrenches up on Cobryn's arm & shoulderblade while maintaining the nerve hold on the back of his neck.
Phil Blauer: What is that smell? Is Ron Reid crouching?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill works down the arm of Cobryn to possibly keep him from using The Answer.
Phil Blauer: Get out of his head O'Bannon!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill releases the hammerlock and pulls Cobryn up into a human torture rack.
Phil Blauer: Could we be seeing Cross the “T” and dot the “I”??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn swings around into a Cobrynarana!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Big Bad Bill's head into his legs, and flips him over his shoulder into a gory special. Cobryn lets go of his arms, letting him drop forward into a facefirst slam!!
(The Phoenix crowd boos. Cobryn sits on Bill's back and wraps his arms around his head with an old skool sleeper and sits back into a camel clutch. Cobryn clamps down on his face & temple and rocks back on Bill's head & neck. Reid checks in to see Bill wants to submit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulling back on Bill's back with The Cobryn Clutch! Bill isn't tapping, so Cobryn stands up and stomps him a few times. Cobryn presses Big Bad Bill over his head!
(The audience jeers Cobryn who attempts to show off his raw power. He then drops him into a stone cold stunner!! Cobryn makes the cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn waistlocks Big Bad Bill and german suplexes him! He pulls him back up and hits him with a second german! Cobryn pulls a groggy Triple B up and drops him with a third consecutive german suplex and bridges this one!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
(Cobyn lifts Big Bad Bill into an atomic drop and then sits him on top turnbuckle. He hooks Bill's feet underneath the top rope, Cobryn then goes to the outside and leans backwards on the steps while yanking the Bill's arms back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn forcing Big Bad Bill's back against the ringpost. But Big Bad Bill slips his arms away and powers out of Florida Surfing!
(Cobryn's eyes bug out at the power of Big Bad Bill. Cobryn gives the ring a "Who needs ya" and walks away. The fans boo)
Phil Blauer: Cobryn walking away from the ring!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn used to having the luxury of being able to walk away from the ring, but not tonight. Big Bad Bill not having it and using the time to get some of his strength back.
(After arguing with Ron Reid, Cobryn rolls back into the ring and is caught with an axe kick to the back of his head! Big Bad Bill grabs him by the chin with a standing reverse chinlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drops Cobryn with a side effect! He makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill gets on top of Cobryn with a crossface chicken wing on the mat. Bill going to the arm like Vince goes the race card, and wrenches up on his wrist. He clamps his arm down against Cobryn's esophogus.
(Bill jams some knees into Cobryn's ribcage while applying pressure to his shoulder & elbow with the crossface chicken wing. He finally releases it and pulls Cobryn's arm out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B kneedrops the back of Cobryn's elbow. Bill side steps Cobryn and grabs his arms from behind in a reverse hammerlock. The fans leap to their feet! He then pushes his Cobryn forward, while placing his feet in front of his...but before Bill has a chance to lock The Dislocator on, Cobryn raises his leg backwards in a low blow!
(The audience boos, as Bill tips over clutching his groin. Cobryn shakes some feeling back into his arm. He runs and measures Bill with a double kneelift to the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn butterflies Bill's arms and then lifts him up in a double underhook facedriver!! Cobryn hangs on to his double underhooked arms and then liffts him a second time with a michinoku driver I!! He pins the champ with both feet on the ropes!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Bill's head into his legs, then lifts him up on his shoulder and runs to the center of the ring with a stiff ligerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Bill into the ropes and tiltawhirls him but Bill steps through and delivers an airplane pin; reminicent of a downsloping "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. He drops Cobryn in the center of the ring and applies a jujigatame to his aching arm!
(The audience pops and chants "BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!!" Cobryn yells at them to shut up, and then covers his face in pain. Big Bad Bill yanks up on his whammybarred arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill applying more pressure to that hurt wing of Cobryn, then lays it out in front of him. Bill legdrops the back of his elbow! He hiptosses Cobryn across the ring. Bill comes at him with yakuza kick but Cobryn catches the leg, and dumps him over in a leg capture suplex!
(The America West Arena boos Cobryn as he shakes some blood back into his arm. He pulls Big Bad Bill up by the arm, and yanks him in for a shortarm clothesline)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn front waistlocks Bill, but Bill forearm smashes his way out of the northern lights suplex, and counters with a northern lights bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill runs into the ropes then tumbles towards Cobryn and pushes off the floor into a dropkick to his chest!
(Big Bad Bill applies a figure four leglock where he sits on Cobryn's legs! Cobryn sits up and shreiks in pain. He reaches his arm over Triple B's head and pulls downwards over his throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn countering the Jailhouse Lock! Every ounce of pressure Bill puts on Cobryn's legs, is also helping Cobryn choke him out. Big Bad Bill releases the figure four, and Cobryn limps behind him, catching his arms in a straightjacket. Cobryn rising star suplexes Big Bad Bill with no bridge!!
(The Phoenix fans boo. Cobryn drags Bill over to the corner and then climbs up to the second turnbuckle. He inverted facelocks Bill and then somersaults over into a diamond dust)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Bill into the ropes, but Bill comes back with a flying elbow! He spins around into a wheelkick to Cobryn's chin that knocks him back into the ropes, and then a second one that knocks him to the mat.
(Bill side steps Cobryn and applies a double chicken wing. He then pushes Cobryn forward, while placing his feet in front of him, so that my he bends at a ninety-degree angle at the waist. Bill then slides his arms up into his elbows and pushes down on his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Big Bad Bill can lock his wrists, Cobryn stands up and throws his head backwards into Bill's face! Cobryn presses Bill over his head and tosses him onto the steel steps on the floor!!!
(The audience boos and jeers as Bill clutches his elbow where it hit the hard steel. Cobryn steps through the ropes and hops down to the floor. He steps up onto the top of stairwell and pulls Bill's head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn piledrives Big Bad Bill on the steel steps!!
(The sound echoes throughout the America West Arena. Bill lies across the steps with blood streaming down his face. Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up on his shoulders into an electric chair)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn flips Bill over into a gory special and then pitches his neck onto the guardrail!!
(Bill clutches his throat, with his eyes bugging out of their sockets. He chokes, bleeds and coughs into the lap of a fan in the front row. Cobryn grabs two handfuls of Bill's hair and pulls him over the railing. He fireman's carries Bill onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Bill up into a hanging suplex and then jackhammers him off the apron onto the America West Arena floor!!!
(The crowd pops and chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Big Bad Bill rolls around the floor, clutching the small of his back. Cobryn gets up and lifts Bill up into a crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill slips out of Cobryn's grasp and catches his head on the way down with a huracanrana on the concrete!!
(The Phoenix crowd comes alive! Big Bad Bill wipes some blood out of his eyes and waits for Cobryn to pull himself to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B spears Cobryn into the guardrail!! Bill steps up on Cobryn's knee and whacks him upside the head with a shining wizard that smacks his face into the railing!
(Cobryn staggers over to Ron De La O's timekeeper's table and grabs the ringbell. He swings at Bill but Bill ducks and punches him in the stomach. He snatches the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill smashes Cobryn in the head with the bell! He rolls Cobryn into the ring, with some blood coloring his blonde hair pink. Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle, and hops off, ramming the timekeeper's bell into Cobryn's throat!!
(Cobryn sits up, bleeding down his face, and clutching his throat. The audience cheers wildly, chanting "BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!!" Bill lays Cobryn down and makes the pin)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill goes underneath the ring and pulls out that cooler of his.
Phil Blauer: I hope there's pudding cups.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He tosses it in the ring and opens it up...SPIDERS!!
Phil Blauer: Save me Allah, I'm too cute to die!
(DOZENS of spiders come running out of the cooler all over the ring. Ron Reid climbs to the top turnbuckle to escape them. A mad panic engulfs the bottom level of the America West Arena as they run for the hills from the impending arachnids. Guillermo, Yolanda, and Phil jumps up on their table)
Phil Blauer: (jumps into Guillermo's arms) Keep me safe my Irish Mexican protector!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Get off me, Phil!!
(Cobryn sits up and three spiders crawl over his face. He gets a severe case of the willies, and knocks them off. He runs around wiping off his face, trying to get all the spider cooties off of him. He walks right into another Dis-Locator)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill has half of The Dislocator locked on when Cobryn takes his free arm and bulldogs Big Bad Bill!!
Yolanda Ando: What's that shaking the table.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Phil.
Yolanda Ando: I guess that also explains the puddles.
Phil Blauer: I knocked over my sprite! How do we know your water didn't break, fat girl?
Yolanda Ando: You wanna live with the spiders, Phil?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and hooks his leg into a sambo suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill in an inverted facelock and drops him in The Salty, Salty Tears of Big Bad Bill facefirst powerbomb!!
(Bill's face makes a blood smear against the canvas. Cobryn fireman's carries Bill up on his shoulders and then sits him on the top turnbuckle. He hooks his feet under the ropes, then goes to the outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn attempts some Florida Surfing again! He pulls back on his arms forcing the ringpost into the small of Bill's back! Cobryn braces his feet against the steel steps and gives another good yank on his arms.
(The live audience boos. Blood runs up Bill's upside down face into a pool on the steps. Ron Reid pleads with Cobryn to get back in the ring)
Phil Blauer: No powering out of this one. A jackhammer from the apron will do that to you.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn places his boot against the ringpost and pulls back on Bill's legs a few more times. Cobryn steps back into the ring and spinning spinebusters Bill from off the top turnbuckle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
(Cobryn sits up and applauds for himself, drawing the ire of the fans. He walks over to the turnbuckle, and undoes the padding)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes from behind and rams Cobryn's face into the exposed steel turnbuckle hook!! He grabs two handfuls of Cobryn's now pink stained hair and monkey flips him across the ring!
(Cobryn lands hard on his back and begs off. Big Bad Bill doesn't fall for it this time, and jams his fingers into Cobryn's throat with a martial arts strike. Cobryn clutch his windpipe, and Bill pulls his head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill powerbombs Cobryn on the top rope and then bounces him into the center of the ring with a slingshot powerbomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana but Cobryn catches his legs and powerbombs him!!
(Triple B lands hard on the mat, but is able to deliver a double kick to Cobryn's belly. Big Bad Bill goes behind him and applies a reverse waistlock, heimliching Cobryn's stomach so he can't get any new air)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn back elbows Big Bad Bill in the face to break The Heimleich Maneuver. He double underhooks his arms and lifts Big Bad Bill up into a stalling tigerdriver '91 he calls The Tsunami '05!!
Phil Blauer: Hey! He's cross dating!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up into a crucifix, but Bill kicks off of his shoulders and backflips in front of Cobryn!
(The audience applauds Big Bad Bill's agility and Cobryn pulls him in by the arm with a shortarm clothesline! The applause gets louder. Big Bad Bill lifts him up in a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drops him into a steiner screwdriver!! He makes the cover on the bloody Cobryn!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn lifts his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Cobryn into the turnbuckles and follows him in, hopping on the middle of the second rope. He hops backwards on to the stumbling Cobryn, but Cobryn reverses the DDT into a spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up on his shoulders in a human torture rack. He bends Bill's spine against his powerful shoulders, as Bill's arms fall limply to his sides.
(Ron Reid tests Bill's arm, but Bill holds it up. Cobryn shakes his head in frustration and then drops back in a facefirst samoan drop! He grabs him by the arms and straightjacket german suplexes him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Bill in a vertical suplex and drops his feet on the top rope into a slingshot suplex!
(Cobryn pulls Big Bad Bill up and wraps his arms up into The Dis-Locator! Big Bad Bill cries out in pain, as Cobryn pushed up on his reverse hammerlocked arms. Blood drips down from Bill's face into a pool on the mat)
Phil Blauer: I don't know if those screams of pain are of anguish or humiliation of being put in his own move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill mule kicks Cobryn in the groin and somersaults forward. He three quarter nelsons Cobryn and runs up the turnbuckles into an acid drop!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill atomic drops Cobryn on the top turnbuckles, facing the audience. He climbs to the second rope and stands on the middle turnbuckle, lifting Cobryn on his shoulders with a human torture rack. He then hops off into a Ki Krusher powerbomb off the second turnbuckle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill climbs to the top rope, but Cobryn catches him up there. Bill responds with some double axe handles Coby and then pedigrees him from the top turnbuckle!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(The crowd continues to cheer wildly and Triple B goes back up to the top and and spins into a pheonix splash)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A Phoenix splash! How Apra pro!
Phil Blauer: Whosy Whatsit?
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill side steps Cobryn and grabs his arms from behind in a reverse double chicken wing. He then pushes his Cobryn forward into The Dis-Locator!
(The Phoenix fans leap to their feet, cheering Big Bad Bill's submission finisher. But Bill is so blood drenched that Cobryn is able to get an arm free and hits a stunner! The cheers turn to boos of frustration)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn scoops him up, then drops his right hand down from Bill’s thigh to his right knee, and hooks it before lifting up his own left leg and dropping down and to his left, spiking Bill down in The Question!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn chicken wings Big Bad Bill's arm that he hit on those steps behind him. He crossfaces Bill's throat and then drops him on the back of his head with a millenium suplex!!
(Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up into another crucifix and this time drops him then catches him with a DDT on the way down!! The audience gasps)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn inverted facelock and lifts Big Bad Bill up in the air and then drops...The Answer!!!
(Suddenly two men dressed as ninjas come storming into the ring. The audience buzzes with confusion)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two ninjas have rushed the ring!
Phil Blauer: What the hell is this; I ordered take-out an hour ago. It’s free now, right?
(One of the ninjas starts in with some martial arts kicks to Cobryn, and the fans let out an earsplitting pop as a blood drenched Cobryn tries to defend himself in vain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The larger ninja grabs a shell shocked Cobryn and chokeslams him into the ground!! There’s something familiar about this duo.
Phil Blauer: They're both wearing masks, how can you tell?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley and "The Punisher" Dan Stein are running down to the ring to help out their liege! The ninjas are ready for him with some savatte kicks and chops, while the larger one hiptosses Harley across the ring!
(The America West Arena rocks as the match hits an exciting new high. One ninja runs at "The Punisher" Dan Stein and catches him with a tornado DDT! Stein's head bounces off of the canvas and then rolls to his side)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill cracks a bloody Cobryn in the skull with a discus punch and then a Flatline punch to his underarm! Wait, now who's this?
(A bloody & burned Lucifer Jones runs out from the curtain with the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship belt wrapped around his waist. He has a barbed wire wrapped sledgehammer in his hand)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones coming down to the ring with a barbed wire wrapped sledgehammer.
Phil Blauer: I think he suspects those ninjas of interfering in his Hardkore America title match with Gojira.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You mean winning it for him?
Phil Blauer: Ninjas always catch flack for everything. That's why I left The Order.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley holds Big Bad Bill in a full nelson, while "The Punisher" Dan Stein goes to work on the World Champ's ribs! Cobryn slugs the larger ninja in the face and goes to hold his mask for a second punch, but it comes off...it's Stan "The Tank!! Cobryn has a look of total shock on his face as Stan irish whips him into the ropes, and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam! The other ninja decides the jig is up and takes off his mask too...it's Dracon Xanathos! SWAT's Legion X has invaded Hardkore America!!
(The audience roars! Lucifer Jones is finally in the ring and stands behind Stein, who is still working on a trapped Big Bad Bill. Jones calling his shot and winds back with the sledgehammer. He smashes Big Bad Bill in the face instead!! Bill crumples to the mat, with blood streaming from his face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What?? Why is Lucifer Jones helping out "The Punisher" Dan Stein and Cobryn? Cobryn springs into action, locking an out-on-his-feet Bill in an inverted facelock. Cobryn locks in a double chicken wing, linking hands under Bill's back. He lifts Big Bad Bill up and drops him in The Answer 2005!!!
(Cobryn drops on top of Big Bad Bill and makes the cover. Dracon Xanathos runs over to break up the pin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A woman is in the ring! She clubs Xanathos in the back of the head with a lead pipe to the back of the head!!
Phil Blauer: It's "Sexy" Anj!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience boos, as "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays over the public address system. Cobryn rolls off of a bloody Big Bad Bill. Stan Wilson drags Bill and Xanathos out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: We have a new Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion!! The first since 2002!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 24 minutes 21 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(Dan Stein takes the jewel encrusted Hardkore World Heavyweight title belt and hands it to a bloody, exhausted Cobryn. He snatches it and clutches it to his chest on his knees, tears stream from his cheeks. Lucifer Jones walks into the center of the ring, the Hardkore America Heavyweight Title hanging off his shoulder, and he slaps it hard, smiling a mouth full of blood stained gold teeth. The arena is rocked with boo's. Lucifer ducks an MGD bottle)
Phil Blauer: Guillermo!
Guillermo O'Bannon: What? I was finished. (burp)
LuJo: Welly, welly, welly well...look at have we have here. Ladies and gents, you're looking at the culmination of 3000 years of superb evolutionary genetic breeding and athletic skill.
Oh yeah, and Johnny Lee Harley.
But what we have here you lousy bastards, what we have here is the rebirth of the greatest bloody stable of wrestlers known to mankind! A group comprised of the FINEST fucking wrestlers to EVER grace Hardkore World's squared circle. We literally DEFINE the bloody word "heel". That's right, you daft pricks, spell it out for us!
(Cobryn leans back into a corner trying to compose himself and smiles while Lucifer Jones and Stein both lean over the ropes and scream out the letters.]
LuJo & DS:
H!
E!
E!
L!
(The crowd starts chanting "LOOOOOOO-CY, LOOOOOO-CY, LOOOOO-CY...." in mocking tones and Lucifer Jones gets irate and points at the crowd, "Punisher" Dan Stein holding him back.]
LuJo: YOU SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!!! Show your new Heavyweight champion the respect I deserve!
(At this point, the crowd is booing so loudly you can't even hear Jones over the microphone. He jumps up to the top turnbuckle and spits into the crowd, holding up the belt high in the air.]
LuJo: Consider that a gift from me to you, you pricks.
(He jumps down and regains his composure.]
LuJo: Now, as I was saying, this current incarnation of crazy fucks are quite possibly the most dominant and devious group ever devised. Seriously, mates...look who the fuck is standing before you. One one side, we have the brilliance and superior ring savvy that IS....TEH COBRYN!!!1!1! Ric Flair, take some notes you crusty old shitbag, because your reign as the dirtiest player in the game was taken away the moment Cobryn was born.
And then there's this man...
(He slaps Dan Stein on the chest and drapes his arm around his shoulders.]
LuJo: ...the only wrestler EVER in this business to put the fear of god into me. The only man in this business to make me, ME of all people, the rudest toughest most blood thirsty son of bitch to come out of Britannia, he made Lucifer Jones actually think twice about going toe to toe with him. He cares not for winning, nor for gold ladies and gentlemen. He care only about one thing, and for THAT, I give him the upmost respect. He just want's to kick YOUR ass! "Punisher" Dan Stein!
(The crowd boo's even louder as Jones shakes his hand and hands him the mic. Stein grabs the mic, as Domino flanks him.]
DS: Hey there, you stupid Phoenix sheep. I’d like to tell you a sad, sad story.
(Stein flips off the crowd. Someone tosses a beer at Stein, which Stein swats away., unfazed.]
DS: A couple of years ago, I was working my way up the ranks of Ring Syndicate, chewing up every opponent in front of me. I crushed the world champion in the match before he was crowned, and all I had to do was go through one man to get back to him, and that was this man over here.
(Stein points at Cobryn. Cobryn smiles. Honest men shudder.]
DS: But that day came, and the Punisher had Cobryn beaten. But lo and behold, a gaggle of groupies showed up and spoiled the Punisher’s day, and I suffered the first clean pin in nearly 2 years. It was a defining moment.
(The crowd keeps throwing beers at Stein.]
DS: Fast forward to 5 months ago. I single out this man, to my right. Why? Only the Punisher really knows, but this I can tell you: no man has ever been pummeled, beaten, threatened, and nearly killed more in the past several weeks than Lucifer Jones. And again, the Punisher had this man beaten. But somehow, he gets the win on the Punisher. And not only does he live, but he manages to survive the cage, beat the Punisher at his own game, then drop an Irish shower on me.
(Hardkore crowd: STEIN GOT PISSED ON! *CLAPCLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP* STEIN GOT PISSED ON! *CLAPCLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP* Unfazed, Stein flips the Peacemaker at points at Jones’ neck. Jones looks a little nervous but does not flinch.]
DS: That may be the single most infuriating thing I have ever had done to me. It was bad enough to lose, but like that? In the hospital that night, the Punisher had a Reckoning of his own. I realized that Cobryn had cheated to beat the Punisher, but it was my fault for letting him get away with it. And I realized that Lucifer Jones was a problem I could not solve because he is a man who simply refused to die. And I got to thinking, were they core of the problem?
(Stein brings down the Peacemaker. Jones relaxes.]
DS: And I realized, no…they’re not. They simply outsmarted me, both times, and realistically, the only two that mattered. And in that, I realized these men were not my enemies, they were men to be talked into an alliance, because that kind of deviousness is what conquers nations. But that night, I finally realized the core of the problem. It was…
(Stein flips the Peacemaker at Jones…
DS: …YOU!!
(…but quickly flips it to Domino, and holds it to her neck instead. The crowd, booing Stein, sits stunned. A few pieces of trash begin being tossed.]
DS: That’s right. It sure as hell wasn’t my fault these things happened- they’re yours. For 8 years, you have told me to act a certain way, to wrestle a certain way, to do this, to do that. For what? So I can get pissed on?! I’ve had enough of this crap. Instead of helping me, you’ve done nothing but put a leash on me. From now on, the leash is off. I will do things my way. More violent. Less restrained. More vicious. Less fan-friendly. And you know, screw the fans anyway. They haven’t ever done shit for me except get in my way.
(Domino gets an angry look. The crowd comes unhinged with boos so loud no one can hear anything else, beers flying again, but quiets as Domino rips the mic from Stein's hand.]
DOM: You won’t talk to me anymore, and now you make me go down and help someone else tonight without any reason why. You would rather team up with a rapist and Hardkore’s biggest cheater than me? I can’t take this anymore. I’ve had it. I’m leaving, Dan. And if you don’t like that, I QUIT!!
(Domino tearfully walks away from Stein. The crowd cheers wildly. But Stein grabs her arm as she walks away.]
DS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No one walks away from the Punisher. NO ONE!
(Domino slaps Stein clear across the face. The crowd goes absolutely wild. Stein violently grabs a fistful of Domino’s long, brown hair. Domino is immobilized, and the crowd is quieted.]
DS: Just who the fuck do you think you’re dealing with? I need not remind you that you are…
(Stein shakes Domino’s head with the fist still tightly wrapped around her hair.]
DS: …contractually obligated to do whatever the hell I say. You know it too, don’t you, bitch? So you’ll do whatever I tell you to do. Got it?!
(Stein throws her to the ground. Domino and the crowd are stunned.]
DS: You know, I’m beginning to think that maybe you deserved a visit from Lucifer Jones…he tells me you liked it…did you?
(Domino vehemently shakes her head no; Lucifer Jones gives a lusty smile and says yes.]
DS: You probably liked it. Well, no matter. You know what Dom, I’m going to show you what this is all about. It’s about winning. It’s about the meanest, most brutally efficient wrestlers ever assembled.
(Stein moves away to address the crowd.]
DS: As most of you know, I am a student of wrestling history. I know all about the greatest stables in the sport. See, I don’t have to like my new mates, and they don’t have to like me. This isn’t some hippie circle of friends commune like the Un~Able. Or some weird homo-erotic fetish gathering like the Dick Ryderz. This is about assembling the finest group of wrestlers possible to conquer Hardkore World. This is what we are all about- winning. To prove it, I would love to introduce to you the newest member...
(Stein motions around... and stops suddenly...]
("GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays and the jeers turn to cheers. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner walks out with the Hardkore World Championship strapped around her waist. The fans boo loudly.]
DS: Domino, I want you to take notes about what a real woman is like. This is the Hardkore World women’s champion. And this is the start of the biggest thing Hardkore will ever witness. We will not stop until all the belts in Hardkore are ours, and we will lay waste to everything else.
(Stein turns the mic over to Turner, but Lujo grabs it.]
Lujo: And "Sexy" Anjanette Turner?!? My god, this bird DEFINES class and skill. She IS the first lady of Hardkore World and I be bloody goddamned if anybody says otherwise.
(Lujo eyes Anj up.
....
DS: Lujo...
....
Cobryn: Lujo?
....
(It begins getting a little tiny bit uncomfortable. Cobryn bumps Lucifer over away from Anj a little and Stein shakes his head. Cobryn laughs and hands the mic to Anj, who is still dressed in her ring attire with her HK Women’s Championship belt draped over her right shoulder.]
Turner: What a better way to end the summer then with a brand new bunch of friends. I mean, what’s better than being part of something new…like this group? And with these of men in the ring with me, HardKore World is not safe. Tonight… we take over and win every last championship. Tonight was only the beginning. So all you so call contenders in the backstage area believing you have a chance…think again…because you don’t even have a chance after tonight.
(Anj re-adjusts and tosses the Women's Hardkore World Championship on her shoulder, to her right is Lujo, still looking her up and down with the Hardkore American title on his shoulder. In the middle of the two, Cobryn grins, and raises the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over his head with both arms.
Phoenix is rocked with boos so loud at this point that Cobryn's words can not be heard at all at first. Lucifer Jones walks over and leans back on the turnbuckle and feigns that hes sleeping. Stein bats away incoming trash and tosses it back where it came from.
Eventually the crowd quiets just enough for Cobryn to try to speak again.]
Cobryn, trademark grin: Ya know...
(Phoenix is again rocked with overwhelming boos. Cobryn shakes his head and grins.]
Cobryn: In every important person's life... No, not you, or you... or any of you for that matter... I said important people's lives. Like us.
(LuJo gives a "here, here".]
Cobryn: Anyway, there are key moments and decisions that can change careers, lives, and sometimes the world as you know it. Tonight, one of those key moments is taking place right in front of the Sportoricans and the rest of the known world.
(The Sporto-ricans show up on the ramp and cheer, and then are attacked by a few members of the audience. Security begins breaking it up.]
Cobryn: Its taken me years to assemble a group of guys and gals that were "able" to bring the bar of wrestling up to a notch that has never been achieved. A group that would change the wrestling world as we know it.
But I look around the ring tonight and what Cobryn sees brings a tear to his eyes.
(Cobryn begins walking around and motioning.]
Cobryn: Anj, a woman who has changed women's wrestling as much as her predecessor, Jasmine. The Hardkore World Women's Champion of Hardkore World Women's champions worthy of headlining any arena in the world.
(Cobryn motions back toward Lucifer Jones.]
Cobryn: Then theres Lucifer Jones, a guy who broke my arm for a few bucks and a night with Jen Hunglestein. A guy that just gutted out a victory against the King of the Monsters and walked away with the Hardkore American strap around his waist. A guy that if you saw while walking down a dark alley you would shit your pants and pray to God that he didnt catch up with you.
(Cobryn motions back toward Stein.]
Dan Stein, a man who I've personally went to war with, a man who has more brute strength and more of a sense of history and ring intelligence than any before him. A man that hasnt even begun to reap the benefits that his skills will allow him to. A man that lives up to his name and punishes everything that dares to oppose him.
(Cobryn adjusts the World title.]
Couple this with my singlehanded victory against Big Bad Bill and the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship you see over my shoulder.. and we ARE the most significant group of elite that you will EVER find in front of you. Worthy of a name...
(Cobryn shakes his head and stops himself, grins, and then continues.]
Cobryn: Everyone of you losers in the back had better take notice of what you see before you. No longer is it safe to walk down the hallway to your match alone. No longer will groups like the Cup Cake Crew, The Dick Ryderz or the Unstable be considered as groups of power in Hardkore World.
The bar has just been raised.
The most dominant group of wrestlers that have ever stepped in a ring together, and they're here to clean up the place a little. They're here to put you on notice. They're here to take over the house.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you...
The Society... Of The New Breed!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello, everyone and welcome to Phoenix. I'm Guillermo O'Bannon and I'm sweating my balls off in the 120 degree heat. But I'm not the only one stankin, to my right is Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: God never meant for people to live in a place like this. I'm sweatin out of places Vagabond only dreams about. Boone, I'm gonna need ice cubes applied to my nipples indefinately.
(Boone just stands there)
Phil Blauer: STAT!!
(Only a smoked shaped sillohuette of Matt Boone is still there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight we have our first Hardkore World Heavyweight title defense for Big Bad Bill as he takes on Cobryn. Cobryn won the right to be the first one to face after winning a threeway dance in San Diego with Adrian Tanner Jr. & Vincent Silvestri back in July of 2004! Big Bad Bill tore through such greats as Lucifer Jones, Death Gojira, "Nasty" Ned Chambers to defeat Cyrus Williams in the tournament for the most prestigious belt in the World. Bill is the only man to make Cobryn submit, upsetting him in a match for the Hardkore West Coast title at Hardkore Helloween 2004. A fact Cobryn is probably obsessing over.
Phil Blauer: In my best selling book, "Stalking Your Way into Her Heart" we explore that a little obsession isn't a bad thing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight, they face off in what is sure to be a classic wrestling match for one of the biggest prizes of any career. Death Gojira puts his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship up against Lucifer Jones, two of the most brutal wrestlers on the roster. Gojira earned himself another month with the title after surviving a awesome Double Hell match in Belfast, Northern Ireland. But he had to have left some of himself back there hanging on the razor wire. Lucifer Jones was also succesful at Irish Rage in Belfast defeating "The Punisher" Dan Stein in a blue bar steel cage. Both men have been through hell, but that's nothing compared to what they are in for tonight when they go head to head. Syberus will also take on Blak Lung for the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship.
Phil Blauer: What?? Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He won a contest for best commercial.
Phil Blauer: When did this place turn into a day camp?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then in what promises to be an exciting, high flying encounter "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defends her championship against Ashley. Ashley won a threeway dance among Vagabond and Alley to earn her chance here tonight. She is a two time former EWW Champ, as well as the president.
Phil Blauer: Isn't that like when Vince won the WWE title?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's like if Linda won the WWE title.
Phil Blauer: EWW is WWE backwards. That's something to think about.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No it isn't. "Sexy" Anjanette barely escaped Northern Ireland with her championship with Horror Girl as the special referee in her match with Tamara Sanchez. Tonight, she has to wrestle an accomplished veteran rarely seen in today's emphasis on T&A.
Phil Blauer: Bite your tongue!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's time for an old fashioned steel cage grudge match. "The Punisher" Dan Stein was the number one draft pick The Un-Stable had in mind to reform their headlining group. Dan Stein used them to hurt Lucifer Jones then swerved them to join up with Cobryn and Johnny Lee Harley. His partner, "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson is obsessed with proving what we already know, that wrestlers use steroids.
Phil Blauer: But Karnage is the exception, the only cycle that guy rides is his steroid cycle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't get it.
Phil Blauer: Read Dynamite Kid's book.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable put their newly won back World Championships on the line against these two in what is sure to be a brutal cage match. Then we have a rematch from Irish Rage in Belfast, The Shootfighter puts his Hardkore West Coast title on the line against Nick Knight's Knephew "The Excellance of Elegance" Zack Daniels. Daniels impressed alot of people in Ireland, including me.
Phil Blauer: Not me. Wait, is he the seven foot guy who does the unprettier and calls it a Brunoprettier?
Guillermo O'Bannon: But Shootfighter has been hanging on to that title like Boone does with his Penthouse when his mom cleans his room. He has the stiff shots that can change anybody's title plans. Another match I'm looking forward to is the match to see who will face the Hardkore World Women's Champion at The Staples Center next month. Tamara Sanchez, Alley, Vampira, Horror Girl, and Vagabond will all match wills and try to outlast one another to be the number one contender.
Phil Blauer: Then it's time for a rematch from the last time we were here. Last time, Adrian Tanner Jr. wrestled Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Stan "The Tank" Wilson in his hometown.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian's from Tucson.
Phil Blauer: You say funny words that make me laugh.
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, last time, Stan Wilson was able to chokeslam his way to victory in that match and Tanner is sure to be looking for revenge. Then it's time for the Hardkore America debut of the "Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. He takes on Kilroy Evans who is still licking his wounds after that terrifying Double Hell match. And High Maintenance tries to get back on track after losing their World Tag Team titles with a match with the brutal Warhammer Corporation.
(The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop which forces the crowd to cover their ears with their hands. They boo and rock the America West Arena. The Microshocker walks out through the curtain and is almost blown back by the hatred. He shivers with extacsy and rubs his Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship belt. Bad Boy King Kong gooses his behind from the back and The Shock jumps a mile. Bad Boy King Kong carries The Shock's laptop computer named Mr. Computer. They tickle each other and then walk down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker shocked the world in Northern Ireland when he won his first World Championship with Rally Jackson & Big Bad Bill.
Phil Blauer: It almost makes the years of losing worth it.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Almost.
Yolanda Ando: The Shock wears a glittering grey body suit with the ass cut out & bare midriff. Seriously.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The America West Arena. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine presents tonight's bill of wrestling action. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager and life companion, Bad Boy King Kong; From Seattle, Washington; Weighing 200 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
(The Phoenix fans boo and jeer The Shock as Bad Boy King Kong holds him up in a disturbing reverse electric chair. Then "Chilly Water" by Widespread Panic plays, Andrew Sinclair gets a mixed reaction, mostly because of how much everyone hates The Shock. He walks down to the ring, staring a hole through The Shock & Bad Boy King Kong)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes Andrew Sinclair who mistakenly helped The Un-Stable win the Hardkore World Tag Team titles at Ulster Hall. Also on that same show, Sinclair made quick work of Blak Lung.
Phil Blauer: Who doesn't?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!"
(The Phoenix fans applaud out of respect. Bad Boy King Kong gives The Microshocker a kiss on the cheek for good luck. Ron Reid signals for the bell to ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair tosses The Microshocker across the ring with a rolling ipponzei. Another one! The Shock is barely up before Sinclair knocks him silly with a running high kick!
(The Shock rolls out of the ring and signals for a timeout. Bad Boy King Kong checks his nose for blood. He gives him some advice in his ear and then starts tounging it)
Phil Blauer: That's ill.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shock is back in the ring and has a whole new gameplan for this match. He goes to lock up with Andrew Sinclair, but Sinclair spins around into a uraken spinning backfist. Sinclair pops him in the face with an elbow to the face.
(Sinclair pops The Microshocker with a second elbow smash and then dumps him over his shoulder with an exploder '98. Sinclair bounces into the ropes but Bad Boy King Kong grabs his boot. Sinclair doesn't trip, but turns around and points at his bodyguard)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shock follows Sinclair in with a knee to his kidneys. The Microshocker scoops Sinclair up and bodyslams him.
(The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a frog splash, but Sinclair puts his knees up! Shock rolls around clutching his stomach. Sinclair full nelsons The Microshocker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair dragon suplexes The Microshocker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker rolls his arm up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair runs into the ropes and clips The Shock in the face with a jumping knee. He fireman's carries him up onto his shoulders and then drops him on his head with a death valley driver!
(Andrew Sinclair bounces off the ropes and rains down on The Microshocker's forehead with a crisp kneedrop. Some pockets of the audience applaud)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair hits The Shock with a uranage!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Bad Boy King Kong pushes his ass off the ropes and The Shock powerslams Sinclair!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gets to his feet and kicks him in his side. He then spins around into a roundhouse kick! He goes to kick him in the stomach but The Shock catches his foot.
(Andrew Sinclair hops on one foot, while The Shock holds on to his boot. Sinclair then whips around in an enzuigiri! The fans pop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair runs into the ropes and rolls into a koppo kick! He german suplexes The Microshocker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a Bombs Away kneedrop!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Microshocker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong tries to roll under the ropes but he's too fat. He slides Mr. Computer in for The Microshocker but Andrew Sinclair picks it up instead. He bashes Bad Boy King Kong on the head with it!!
(The audience cheers, but The Microshocker is on the top turnbuckle. Sinclair turns around and The Shock hops off with a flying eye poke. Sinclair drops Mr. Computer and covers his eyes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: An F2 neckbreaker by The Microshocker! He pulls Sinclair up by the hair and irish whips him into the ropes. The Shock hits him on the way back with a huracanrana but Sinclair reverses it into a powerbomb!!
(The crowd pops as The Microshocker clutches the small of his back. Sinclair runs into the ropes and soccer kicks in the chest. The sound of the air leaving The Shock's chest is heard throughout the America West Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair dragon screw legwhips The Shock to the mat and applies a hizajugigatame cross knee-bar. The Shock's girlish screams are ear splitting.
Phil Blauer: He doesn't do well with pain. In retrospect pro wrestling could have been a bad career choice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair could break The Shock's leg any time he wants. It seems he's just toying with him. He pulls him up and lifts him up into a suplex, but drops him into a Go to the ER kneestrike!! The Shock is done!
(Bad Boy King Kong runs into the ring and clubs Sinclair from behind! The Phoenix fans boo loudly, and Bad Boy King Kong irish whips him into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong crushes Sinclair with 489 pounds of fat lovin! The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes down on Sinclair's chest with a butt bomb!!
(Robert Hunglestien III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans run out from the entranceway. The audience cheers wildly)
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable is coming for me! Hide me!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III has had some words for Andrew Sinclair sticking his nose in their tag team title match. Kilroy Evans is the first to hit the ring, and he pulls Sinclair up by the hair.
(Kilroy Evans lands a stiff side kick into Andrew Sinclair's guts and the Phoenix audience gasps. Robert Hunglestien III pulls Sinclair's head into his legs and butterflies his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III delivers The High Life on Andrew Sinclair!!
Phil Blauer: What? Why are The Un-Stable helping The Microshocker?? Unless...their gay! I knew it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker confusedly climbs to the top turnbuckle and then comes off with a elbow drop!! He covers Sinclair as Hunglestien laughs maniacally on the outside!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the fans boo. The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it, Robert Hunglestien III and The Un-Stable just caused The Microshocker to get his first win in Hardkore America in six years!
Phil Blauer: Everyone will remember where they were this night! I'll remember I was shifting in my seat uncomfortably, wondering why we can't get cushier chairs.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 8 minutes 1 second; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
(Bad Boy King Kong holds Microshocker up in the air as they soak in the boos. The Phoenix fans litter the ring with garbage. Suddenly High Maintenance run into the ring with chairs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards pounds on Kilroy Evans back with that steel chair!! Bad Boy King Kong surprises Andrew Sinclair with a bearhug!
(The Phoenix fans boo as "New Sensation" Nathan Slater catches Robert Hunglestien III with a superkick! "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson runs down to the ring and the audience gets louder)
Phil Blauer: He showed up! I definately WILL remember where I was tonight now that Rally has shown up for his match!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally rolls into the ring and kawada kicks Andrew Karnage in the chest! Jonathan Richards hart attacks Sinclair off the ropes! The fans are about to riot!
(Jonathan Richards electric chairs Kilroy Evans up on his shoulders while Nathan Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle. He comes off the top rope with a flying bulldog to Kilroy Evans!! The audience chants "You Suck Dick". Nathan Slater shakes his head frantically, that no, he does not)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson double underhooks Andrew Karnage up on to his shoulders and then flips him up onto his shoulder. He takes three big steps into the center of the ring and Grasshopper Drivers him!!
(Rally hops up and bows to the audience who boo him. Bad Boy King Kong irish whips Andrew Karnage into the turnbuckle chestfirst. He gets a running start and avalanches his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bad Boy King Kong gives Andrew Karnage "The Preferable Form of Avalanche '05"!! His name...not mine.
Phil Blauer: Liar. Jonathan Richards full nelsons Andrew Sinclair and Nathan Lane kicks him right in the balls!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slater.
Phil Blauer: Hmm?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater kicked him in the balls. Not Nathan Lane. He's an actor.
Phil Blauer: Did I? Why do I keep thinking his name is Nathan Lane?
(Crowd chants "You Suck Dick" at Nathan Slater)
Phil Blauer: I can't think of why I would confuse Nathan Slater, the former Hardkore World Tag Team Champion, and Nathan Lane, the star of The Bird Cage.
(The entire America West Arena chants "YOU SUCK DICK" at Nathan Slater, who stands on the second rope, singling fans out in the front row for his venom)
Phil Blauer: I can't put my finger on it.
("YOU SUCK DICK!!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenance hold Andrew Sinclair's legs down and The Microshocker wobbles over, still woozy and goes to bite Sinclair's jewels...but Tarrasque hits the ring and clocks The Microshocker!
Phil Blauer: Who would have thought Tarrasque would stop a groin attack?? The irony!
Guillermo O'Bannon: "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix is in the ring as well and superkicks Rally Jackson upside the head!
(The crowd pops for The Warhammer Corporation, and Rally Jackson rolls out of the ring and heads back to the locker room. Robert Hunglestien III whacks Jonathan Richards with an flurry of elbow uppercuts. Vastrix & Tarrasque's manager Lucius Morgan walks down to the ring with a smirk on his face. The audience goes crazy as Tarrasque grabs The Microshocker by the throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque chokeslams The Microshocker over the top rope to the apron!! The Shock's back hits that apron and then he slides off onto the America West Arena floor! Kilroy Evans hits Nathan Slater with The Bad Touch!!
(The fans are deafening as Robert Hunglestien knocks Jonathan Richards back into Jeremiah Vastrix with a elbow smash off the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards backs into Jeremiah Vastrix who double chicken wings him. He tangles his legs up with Richards' and trips him facefirst into the mat!!
(America West Arena event staff comes down to the ring and seperates The Un-Stable, Andrew Sinclair, and The Dark Ryderz Movement at ringside. Mike Peters slides into the ring and signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: And apparantly our next match is underway!
Guillermo O'Bannon: And we'll bring it to you right after this commercial break!
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Aug 15, 2005#2
***commercial***
Phil Blauer: Hi, I'm TV's Phil Blauer. If you're like anyone these days, you know all about me. But what you might not know is that I am a quarter Jewish on my mother's side. I think. You see, Grandpa Rob never got me that pony I asked for, and his birthday checks were always a little on the light side, but either way a quarter of me is one of the Chosen People. This Yom Kippor, I decided to take what I do, describing wrestling moves to our blind viewers, and apply it to the often overlooked quarter of the wrestling population. That's why, this Yom Kippor, I will have Phil Blauer's Yom Kippor Wrestling Spectacular! It'll be a All Star wrestling card of wrestling's classic Jewish characters:
Main Event:
Bill Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
Phil Blauer's Jewish Tag Team Titles
Randy Savage & Lanny Poffo
vs.
The Nasty Boys
Raven vs. Billy Kidman managed by Paul Heyman
Michael "PS" Hayes vs. Marc Mero managed by Missy Hyatt
Kane vs. A-Train managed by Joel Gertner
Moondog Spot vs. Barry Horowitz
Dean Malenko vs. Diamond Dallas Page
David Flair vs. Matt Stryker
Plus a special Yahrzeit for Andy Kaufman, Herb Abrams, The Grand Wizard, and Boris Malenko
Phil Blauer: Come on, don't be a schmuck. You've seen Sting, Road Warrior Animal, Ted Dibiase and Nikita Koloff making money off their guy...I mean spreading the Word. Why shouldn't we?
***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oy vey! Welcome back fans, security has dragged The Un-Stable and The Dark Ryderz Movement, & Andrew Sinclair back to the locker room individually. Now we're left with The Warhammer Corporation & High Maintenance in a great tag team match! Vastrix smacks Richards with a knife edge chop you can hear through The America West Arena!
Phil Blauer: Jeremiah Vastrix inside cradles Jonathan Richards!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Nathan Slater stomps the back of Vastrix' head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque runs into the ring and clotheslines Slater! Jeremiah Vastrix gets behind Richards with an orton backbreaker! Vastrix runs into the corner and hops onto the second rope. He springs backward into a 180 degree turn body press but Richards catches him and powerslams him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards scoops Vastrix up and drops him down onto his knee with a shoulderbreaker. Vastrix lands near his corner and tags in Tarrasque. Richards takes a swing at Tarrasque but he ducks and backslides him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jonathan Richards gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips Richards into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a clothesline, but Richards is ready for him with a big boot!
(The audience boos, Jonathan Richards then hits the stunned two time Hardkore America Champion with a diamond cutter! He pulls Tarrasque up and starts battering him with forearms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards hammering away on Tarrasque but Tarrasque is no-selling them. He glares at a scared looking Richards and bearhugs him!
(Richards cries out in pain as Tarrasque walks him over to the ropes and hotshots him on the top rope! Tarrasque then dares Richards to tag in Nathan Slater. The partners look at one another confused and do so)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater in the ring now and they double dropkick Tarrasque!
Phil Blauer: Little hard to no sell that.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater hiptosses Tarrasque over. He bulldogs the big man! Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Lucius Morgan climbs up and shakes the ropes, crotching him on the top! Tarrasque runs into the ropes and diving tackles Slater to the floor!!
(The crowd cheers as Nathan Slater uncomfortably tumbles to the floor! Tarrasque rolls out to the floor and grabs Slater by the hair. He bashes Slater's face into the corner post)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque winds back and slams Nathan Slater's face into the ringpost! Slater's busted open! Tarrasque presses Slater over his head and drops his throat on the guardrail!
(Slater walks on his knees, clutching his throat, as blood runs down his face. Tarrasque rolls into the ring and tags in "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix. Slater climbs up to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix suplexes Slater over the ropes and drops his head on his knee!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix spinning toe holds Slater, and then stomps his ankle.
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who knows? Vastrix irish whips Slater into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Slater flips over him into a sunset flip!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix claps his legs together on Slater's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater armdrags Vastrix over, and again. He inverted atomic drops Jeremiah into the corner. He tags in Jonathan Richards. They irish whip Jeremiah Vastrix into the ropes and double back body drop him!
(The fans boo. Jonathan Richards presses Jeremiah Vastrix over his head, and benches him three times before dropping his stomach onto his knee in a gutbuster)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and clotheslines him. He shoots him into the ropes a second time and backdrops him, but Vastrix lands on his feet behind him. He whacks Richards with a knife edge to his ribs. Vastrix irish whips him into the ropes and then baseball slide kicks his ankle, sending him tumbling out of the ring!
(Jeremiah Vastrix tags in Tarrasque. Tarrasque scoops Richards up and drops his back onto the railing! Richards arches his back in agony. Tarrasque then rolls him onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque scoops Jonathan Richards up and then comes off the apron with a powerslam on to the guardrail!!
(The crowd comes alive with cheers, Richards crawls on the mat, clutching his back. He pulls Richards' head into his legs, then flips him up on to his shoulder. He facefirst powerbombs his chest on to the railing!! The Phoenix fans cheer as Richards falls into the front row)
Phil Blauer: I've never heard a crowd cheer for The Warhammer Corporation like this since they saved the Rockford Dungeons & Dragons conventions by bringing extra cheetos.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque pulls Jonathan Richards over the railing, then battering rams his face & chest into the ringpost!! Richards spins around with a large gash over his eye! Both members of High Maintenance bleeding heavily now!
(Tarrasque rolls a bloody Jonathan Richards into the ring and then steps into the ring as well. He hooks him up for a suplex, but Richards blocks it with his calf. Jonathan Richards reverses it with a brainbuster)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards grabs Tarrasque by the throat and hits him with a derailer bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque tags in Jeremiah Vastrix who comes in and takes a bloody Richards out with a leaping roundhouse kick! Vastrix irish whips him but Richards reverses it and sends him into the ropes. Rolls Royce tiltawhirls Vastrix into a backbreaker!
(Richards irish whips Vastrix into the ropes again and drives him headfirst into the canvas with an emerald fusion!! The America West Arena crowd boos while Richards rolls him over into a pin)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards pulls Vastrix up by the hair and God's Gift uppercut heart punches him in the chest. Richards backs away, covering his chest. Vastrix runs into the ropes but Rolls Royce drops him with a shoulderblock.
(Richards tags in Nathan Slater, and applies an abdominal stretch. Nathan Slater bounces into the ropes, and cracks the unprotected face of Jeremiah Vastrix with a superkick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater cradles him with a handful of Vastrix's bodysuit!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jeremiah Vastrix gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater grabs him by the legs and turns him over into a boston crab. Vastrix tries to crawl over to the ropes, but Slater holds on to his legs.
(The crowd boos High Maintenance. Blood runs down Slater's face as he bends Vastrix's legs backwards, when suddenly Vastrix powers out of it. Vastrix knife edge uppercuts Slater in the face. Tarrasque enters the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque puts his knee out and Jeremiah Vastrix bulldogs Slater's stomach onto it!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "God's Gift" Jeremiah Vastrix scoops Nathan Slater up but Slater falls behind him with an inverted facelock. He lifts him up into a gourdbuster!
(Slater tags in Jonathan Richards. Richards grabs Vastrix by the legs while Nathan Slater climbs to the top turnbuckle. Richards lifts Vastrix up into a wheelbarrow with a legdrop!! The audience boos as Jonathan Richards makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards wipes some blood out of his eyes and pulls Vastrix up high in the air with a crucifix, then powerbombs him hard into the mat!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards scoops Jeremiah Vastrix up and then swings him around into a catatonic uranage!!
(Audience boos, and Richards lifts his arms in victory. He pulls Vastrix up and irish whips him into the turnbuckles. Vastrix runs up the turnbuckles, hops onto the middle of the top rope and comes off with a roundhouse kick! The crowd cheers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix stomps Richards in the mouth, and then climbs to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jonathan Richards kicks out)
(Richards spits some blood out. Jeremiah Vastrix tags in Tarrasque and then climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tarrasque sits Richards on the top turnbuckle, facing Vastrix. Vastrix hooks him in an inverted headlock, and Tarrasque climbs up to the second turnbuckle, hooking Richards in a waistlock. Tarrasque german superplexes Richards as Vastrix comes down with them with an inverted bulldog)
Phil Blauer: The Warhammer Corporation stole The Silver Lining!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Nathan Slater stomps the back of Tarrasque's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque irish whips Jonathan Richards into the ropes and hits a huracanrana! He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and then hops off with a double foot stomp to the groin!!
(America West Arena cheers as Richards sits up, clutching his plums. Tarrasque pulls him up and irish whips him into the ropes. Jonathan Richards punt kicks him in the face as Tarrasque tries to backdrop him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards piledrives Tarrasque!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tarrasque kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards cobra clutches Tarrasque and then bulldogs him on to his face & arm! He pulls Tarrasque up, but Tarrasque applies a claw to his temples.
(Tarrasque scoops Richards and bodyslams him. Tarrasque tags in Jeremiah Vastrix. Vastrix irish whips him into the ropes, but hangs on to his arm and drags him to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix pulls Richards up and pulls him back up by the hair onto his knee!
(Richards gets to his feet and ducks under a knife edge chop, so he lifts Vastrix up in an inverted crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A very bloody Jonathan Richards drops Vastrix on his face with an inverted razor's edge powerbomb!! He grabs a facedown God's Gift by the legs and begins swinging him around & round. He gets him high enough for a wheelbarrow suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix staggers to his feet but Jonathan Richards drops him with an x factor!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
(Jonathan Richards tags in Nathan Slater. He lifts Vastrix up and then powerbombs him onto Richard's knee!! The fans boo as Slater makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slater monkey flips Vastrix across the ring. He drives Vastrix's skull into the mat with a DDT!
(Vastrix rolls out of the way of a legdrop by Slater. He gets up and presses Nathan Slater over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix drops Slater into an ace crusher!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Nathan Slater kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix lifts Slater up into a weak bomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jonathan Richards stomps the back of Vastrix's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix irish whips Slater into the ropes but Slater jumps over the sweep kick and comes back with a flying body press with a handful of Jeremiah Vastrix's bodysuit!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater tags in Jonathan Richards, and then electric chairs him up on his shoulders. Richards comes off the top turnbuckle with a flying bulldog!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The crowd boos, as "Get Down" by Everlast plays. Gavin Slater runs into the ring and celebrates with High Maintenance)
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenance has defeated The Warhammer Corporation!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 13 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH...HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: These two teams warred for over twenty minutes but in the end it is the SWAT free agents that get the win.
(Gavin Slater helps a blood drenched Jonathan Richards back to the locker room, as Nathan Slater celebrates ahead of them, arms raised in the air)
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Aug 15, 2005#3
***commercial***
Coming this October (or December)
to Cleveland, Ohio
The Gund Arena
HARDKORE HELLOWEEN 2006
Champions come and go, but only one man will be Hardkore for the whole year long...
***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is a match between two established veterans, Tatsuya Arakawa. We have a small army of Japanese photographers here to cover it for Hardkore Nippon.
Phil Blauer: What else do they have to do?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has been moping around lately, since losing not only his tag team titles but his Double Hell Match with Death Gojira in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Phil Blauer: Nothing sadder than seeing a fat man cry.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa isn't much happier, he didn't even get to have a match at Irish Rage in Belfast because the cowardly Cobryn and his partner Johnny Lee Harley attacked them before the match and shaved Cyrus head.
Phil Blauer: "The Cowardly Cobryn"? I smell a t-shirt. No, wait it's a little gamey. That's me.
("TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the audience boos. Tatsuya Arakawa comes down to the ring followed by Tom Lux. Tom Lux clears a path for Arakawa, knocking away angry fans hands and signs. He sees a sign with a picture of a bald Cyrus Williams and rips it up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa is a seasoned vet of mat wars in Japan and now comes here to avenge the name of his mentor and friend, Cyrus Williams.
Phil Blauer: Cyrus has friends?
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's what is says here on the prompter.
Yolanda Ando: Tatsuya wears black biker style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in blood red high black boots, Black TRACE kneepads, black wrist tape, plus two strands of black tape around his ring & middle finger on both hands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Tom Lux; From Shimo-tsuga-gun, Tochigi, Japan; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds...'SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
(The America West Arena boos, but Arakawa ignores them; stoically staring down the aisleway. Then "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays and the crowd jumps to their feet. Kilroy Evans walks down to the aisle waving to them, then slides under the ring and jumps to the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans looking to get a singles win after going through a losing streak of late.
Phil Blauer: How many has he lost?
Guillermo O'Bannon: One tag team match, one title match?
Phil Blauer: Maybe he should talk to Tony Thunder or Blak Lung to get some perspective.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Have you ever tried to talk to Tony Thunder? He still says "gnarly" & "tubular".
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy Evans is wearing a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt with blue jeans short and a brown belt. He wears some red, white, & blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The crowd gives out the biggest pop of the night for Kilroy Evans as he waves back at them. Ron Reid signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: Did I tell you about my latest acting gig?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I didn't know you were an actor?
Phil Blauer: Neither did I? But I recently did so well during my allocution at my recent trial, that my lawyer said I should get into pictures. He gets coke from the same guy Eric McCormick does, so he got me a shot on Will & Grace.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wow, really?
Phil Blauer: Yup. I'm going to do the new thing us mainstream actors do. You see, I'm going to play a gay guy and really test my acting skills.
Guillermo O'Bannon: How does that make you a good actor?
Phil Blauer: Because I'm not going to seem gay at all. That's acting! Queer as Folk here I cum! Wait, how did I spell that?
(Guillermo slides his chair away from Phil)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa tags Kilroy Evans with a couple of thigh kicks, and then goes wild on him with a flurry of punches! He spins around with a uraken backhand!
(Kilroy Evans catches one of Arakawa's punches and wraps up his arm. Tatsuya tries to punch him with a left hand, but Kilroy catches that one as well)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans batters Arakawa with a series of headbutts, then drops down to his knees with a jawbreaker. Kilroy irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and karate chops him in the throat!
(Arakawa gets up and attempts to kick him but Kilroy Evans catches his boot. Tatsuya swings his other leg around into an inzuigiri! The audience boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa snap mares Kilroy over and then roundhouse kicks him a few times in the back that you can hear throughout the America West Arena. The Saikyo Terrorist then delivers a vicious axe kick to the back of his head.
(Tatsuya Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the corner so hard that he falls on his ass. Arakawa runs in with a running knee smash to his face! Kilroy's head bounces back off of the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up to his feet but The Attbury Assassin springs on him and bites his forehead! Arakawa screams in pain, and then Kilroy Evans lifts him up into a falcon arrow!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and then drives him into the mat with a sidewalk slam! He pulls Arakawa up by the hair and Tatsuya hits him with a shotei palm strike. Kilroy stands there stunned until Arakawa floors him with a yakuza kick!
(The America West Arena boos Tatsuya Arakawa. He irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes and then hits him with a flying kneelift! He steps over Kilroy and then pulls back on his twisted arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa applies a kneeling wakigatame on Kilroy. Evans balls up his fist in pain as Arakawa pulls back on his arm with both hands. Kilroy finally hiptosses him over. Tatsuya Arakawa rushes him but Kilroy flips him over with a belly to belly suplex!
(The crowd cheers. Kilroy Evans steps over him with and sticks both of his fingers in Arakawa's eyes and sticks his thumb in to his mouth. The fans scream with joy as Arakawa kicks his feet in the mat in pain. Tom Lux screams at the Ron Reid to disqualify him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ties Arakawa in the second & top ropes. The crowd here in Phoenix applauds Tatsuya's position, then Kilroy Evans running spears him to the floor!! He slides under the ropes and then leans Arakawa against the ringpost. He backs up and then spears him again into the corner post!!
(Arakawa collapses to the floor and the fans pop for Kilroy Evans. He rolls Arakawa onto the apron, and then climbs up as well. Evans gets up and but Arakawa blocks a punch and hits him with a flurry of chops on the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa DDTs Kilroy Evans off of the apron onto the floor!!
(The fans have to give it up for that move and applauds The Saikyo Terrorist! Evans rolls over and is busted open. Tatsuya Arakawa rolls him into the ring and then enters himself)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops him on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!! He rolls him over and makes the pin.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa applies an anklelock, wraps his legs around Kilroy's thigh and then drops to the mat. Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out, but Evans refuses as blood freely runs down his face.
(The audience boos Arakawa, while Tom Lux tells them to quiet down. Arakawa wrenches Evans foot to the side, and he cries out in pain. Evans works his way up to his feet and is hopping on one foot)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans smacks Arakawa upside the head with an inzuigiri! He lifts Tatsuya up in a suplex and then drives him facefirst into the mat with a dropsy gourdbuster! He irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex! He climbs to the top rope, but Arakawa rolls out of the way!! He runs into the ropes and takes Kilroy off his feet with a rolling solebutt roundhouse kick!
(Tatsuya Arakawa applies a jujigatame to Kilroy Evans' arm. Ron Reid checks in to see if Kilroy wants to tap out. A small pool of blood forms where Kilroy's head rests)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa goes back to the arm with that cross arm scissors. Tom Lux is beating on the apron to root on his charge. Arakawa releases the jujigatame and pulls Kilroy up by his arm, and uses it to whip him into the ropes. He hooks him with an Aki Lariot!
(The crowd jeers and boos Arakawa. Arakawa pulls Kilroy up into a powerbomb but Kilroy rolls through on to his feet in front of Tatsuya. He kicks Arakawa in the gut and then double arm DDTs him! The fans pop as Kilroy steps over him and applies a camel clutch)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The grisly mess that is Kilroy Evans is pulling back on the head of Tatsuya Arakawa! That Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt is covered in blood, but it looks as though the Saikyo Terrorist is the one in trouble right now. Kilroy releases the camel clutch and pulls Arakawa to his feet...alabama slam!! Kilroy then flips over with his legs into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips him but Arakawa reverses the irish whip and sends Kilroy into the corner. He charges in with a Running Face Erasure Kick!
(Kilroy Evans staggers out of the corner and collapses facefirst to the mat. Blood leaks out from his large gash over his eye. Arakawa applies a guillotine choke and wraps his legs around Evans' torso)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa choking the life out of Kilroy Evans while his legs attempt to squeeze all the air out of his body.
Phil Blauer: That's a whole lot of body to squeeze. He needs three legs. Not my third leg though. That'd be weird.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid tests Kilroy Evans' arm but he keeps it up in the air. Arakawa clamps down on Evans' windpipe with that powerful arm. But Kilroy doesn't tap much, and so Tatsuya releases the guillotine choke. He waistlocks him and hits a deadlift german suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy ducks under a leaping Gamengiri kick and knocks him silly with a jumping roundhouse kick! He gets behind Arakawa and applies a cobra clutch!
(Tatsuya Arakawa tries to fight out of it but Kilroy has it cinched in tight. Arakawa drops down to his ass for a jawbreaker, but Kilroy avoids his head. He locks on an on the mat version of the cobra clutch. Tom Lux tries to keep his client awake with his inccesant screaming)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans stomps his boot into the mat three times to load it.
Phil Blauer: Load it with what?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He borrowed Iron Shiek's boot.
Phil Blauer: So what's Iron Sheik wearing?
Guillermo O'Bannon: A wonder bread bag. A bloody Kilroy Evans runs and nails Tatsuya Arakawa in the head with his loaded boot! He covers Arakawa and hooks both legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans picks Arakawa up in a powerbomb but Arakawa takes him over with a flying head scissors! He gets behind him with a rear naked choke with a body scissors!
Phil Blauer: Arakawa seemingly obsessed with choking Kilroy out!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans arms flailing wildly as he reaches out for the ropes. If he doesn't get to them soon, this match will be over.
(The Phoenix crowd boos Arakawa. Kilroy Evans rolls over on to his side and grabs on to the bottom rope. Ron Reid asks Arakawa to break the hold. He doesn't, so Reid gives him a five count)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Come on, break the damn hold!
Phil Blauer: Easy, Cole.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa finally does but the damage is done. He lifts Kilroy Evans up into a MASSIVE bomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Kilroy Evans lifts his shoulder)
(Audience applauds Kilroy Evans' tenacity. Arakawa waits for Kilroy Evans to get up and then runs at him with an STO Bomber)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans stands up and is knocked silly with a Gamengiri kick that sends him through the ropes to the floor!
(Audience gasps at the sound the kick makes against Kilroy Evans' bloody skull. Tatsuya Arakawa steps through the ropes and Tom Lux calls him over for a conference)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa getting some advice from his manager.
Phil Blauer: You would think they would have gone over this before the match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs up behind Arakawa and piggybacks on to his back, driving his face into the ringpost!
(Fans roar, and Kilroy Evans pulls a now bleeding Arakawa's head into his legs. He piledrives him on the concrete!! Tatsuya leaves a blood stain where his head hit the America West Arena floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans on fire now and rolls Arakawa into the ring. He climbs to the top rope and comes off with a flying elbow!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans powerbombs Arakawa!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa grabs Kilroy by the shirt and strikes him with a couple high Muay Thai style kneelifts to the stomach, and ends the combo with a kneelift to jaw! Kilroy sits up but Arakawa comes off the ropes with a TAK soccer style kick to his chest! He lifts him up with a vertical drop brainbuster, but Kilroy falls behind him with a Bad Touch!!
(The audience leaps to their feet. Kilroy Evans back suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa into a piledriver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The bell rings and the America West Arena cheers the Attbury Assassin. Tom Lux slaps his hand to his forehead. "Black Betty" by Spiderbait plays over the PA system)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 17 minutes 51 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The fans jeer as a bleeding Tatsuya leaves the ring with his manager holding his arm in the air for victory. Kilroy Evans celebrates on the second rope waving to the cheering fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa came at Kilroy Evans, who must still be feeling the effects of that barbed wire hell match in Northern Ireland, with a stiff Japanese style that you could hear throughout this arena. But Kilroy was able to pull it out at the end.
Phil Blauer: It'll be interesting to see if Death Gojira suffers from the same weakness in his Hardkore America title match with Lucifer Jones later on tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Last time we were here in Phoenix, Adrian Tanner Jr. and Stan Wilson burned down the house with a match for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship!
(Video fades out to their last match dated 8/14/04)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner hits a blockbuster, then climbs to the top rope.
(Tanner points to his family and then he leaps.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Corkscrew 180 splash off the top rope!!!
----
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Stan with a big boot sending Tanner over the ropes to the floor below.
Phil Blauer: The Tank and the Tanner clan jawing it up on the outside! The fans love them some Stan, but they love their home town boy even more!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson sets up a table right in front of Adrian's family!
(One of Adrian's brothers knocks the table over. Furious, Stan grabs him around his throat only to have David Grey break him up. He sets back up the table, grabs A.T.J. and sends him through to the floor with the Alabama Slam.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A mean, gutteral laugh from Big Stan right in the face of Adrian's brother.
---
(Adrian springboards from the apron, off the ropes, onto Wilson. He grabs his head and nails a spinning DDT driving Big Stan's big head into the floor.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: When Amare Stoudemire asks why there's a soft spot at center court, you show up this tape and tell him Stan "The Tank" Wilson needed an Attitiude Adjustment!!!
---
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner, back to the air, he hits a double jump moonsault! This could be it, we could have a new champion!
Referee David Grey: 1...2...(Stan kicks out)
(Tanner springboards off the top rope into a rana but Stan catches him and drops him with a dominator spinebuster.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore America Champion raises his right hand in the air in the universal sign for chokeslam. He's got Tanner over 7 feet in the air!!! Chokeslam!!!
Referee David Grey: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The winner of this match, at 10 minutes 35 seconds, and still Hardkore America Champion....STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!!!"
(Video fades back to present day America West Arena)
Phil Blauer: Wow, was that a year ago?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sure was, Phil.
Phil Blauer: It seems so much longer. Does Amare Stoudamire even play basketball anymore?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yes. Stan Wilson recently turned on his partners, Bruno and Tony Thunder in Northern Ireland to cost them the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles. Now he comes back to Arizona with a new attitude, but Adrian Tanner Jr. has the hometown advantage. He's looking to avenge his last loss here in Hardkore America.
(The America West Arena house lights dim to black and The Phoenix crowd blows the roof off. Spliced footage from Metal Gear Solid III appears on the screen)
Phil Blauer: Isn't that a video game?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah.
Phil Blauer: Why...
Guillermo O'Bannon: I dunno.
(Revolver Ocelot: Hold it right there, traitor. Let's find out just how lucky you are.
(Ocelot reveals a bullet for his revolver. He loads the bullet)
Ocelot: Watch closely. (takes out three revolvers)
Ocelot: One of these three guns has a single bullet in it. I'm going to pull the trigger six times in a row. Are you ready?
(Ocelot juggles the three guns. Each time he pulls a trigger, Sokolov winces. The fifth time a trigger is pulled, Sokolov pisses his pants)
Ocelot: Looks like your luck hasn't run out yet.
(The sixth time, the gun fires and the screen shatters into a million pieces as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers)
[There were times when I questioned my reasons
Thought I wouldn't last]
Phil Blauer: Oh god, another one of these? Why do I have to know the lyrics to these gay ass songs?
(black and white footage of Adrian Tanner matches flash across the screen)
[Seemed the hand of God held my head
Underwater
Somehow I fought back]
(footage of Adrian pinning Triple B for the Ring Syndicate Australian Heavyweight Championship)
[It's still not over yet
No, it won't let me quit]
(footage of Adrian getting powerbombed through the Aborigine announce table by the Hellhounds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Aborigine Announce Table was one of the best things Ring Syndicate Australia had going. That, and funny sounding buildings.
[Found myself more than just once
Praying down on my knees]
[My search for answers only led to more questions
Sometimes for faith you've got to bleed]
(footage of Adrian, bloody and battered, holding up the Australian Heavyweight title)
[By now I've bled my share
Now it's my turn to redeem]
*BOOM!*
(A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames and the hometown fans go crazy)
[When it comes my way, I won't be scared
I've been waiting all my life]
(When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down. The America West Arena gets louder & louder)
[Pain has prepared me for the moment of truth
And the true test is time]
(Black and white footage continues to play on the screen as Adrian begins his walk down the ramp)
Phil Blauer: You know we only have the building till midnight...
[Give all you have because you believe
Sell your mortal soul]
(Footage of Adrian and Dave Rave brawling through the arena plays as Adrian continues to walk down the stage, slapping a couple hands on the way down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. glad to be home after all this time.
[And if you're not a predator then, oh - you better pray
Bet it all now or fold]
(footage of Adrian nailing X with the "Best Damn Secondary Finisher, Period."
[But there's still a danger there
Don't become one of them]
(At the last verse, Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. The fans chant "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: With all the expense of Adrian Tanner Jr.'s entrance, Jonnie had to let Tony Thunder and Bruno had to be let go.
Phil Blauer: Oh well.
[When it comes my way, I won't be scared]
(footage of Adrian nailing various people with the Revolver)
[I've been waiting all my life]
(footage of Adrian holding up various Championships, stopping on the SWAT World Tag Team Championship)
[Pain has prepared me for the moment of truth
And the true test is time]
(In the ring, Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down.)
Yolanda Ando: Shorts: Adrian Tanner wears some black shorts with red flames running down the sides, with black and elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The audience goes wild, chanting "Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!! Wel-come Back!!" Then "Go To Sleep" by Eminem, Obie Trice, and DMX plays. Tanner turns around to watch Stan coming down the walkway. He jogs in place for a bit with the SWAT Heavyweight title around his waist as the fans heap boos on him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This is a new Stan Wilson we're looking at, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Oh god, is it Bruno again? They tricked me last time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, this is a Stan Wilson who doesn't give a damn about what the fans want anymore. He's interested in regaining his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship, and nothing more.
Phil Blauer: His merchandising cut is gonna take a hit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Merchandising cut? Jonnie hasn't given out one of those since "Lightning" Leon Jones.
Yolanda Ando: Stan Wilson wears leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front. Black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. Black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent; from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds; He is The Current SWAT World Heavyweight Champion...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!!!"
(Stan raises his arm as the audience boos. Adrian Tanner Jr. jumps The Tank before the bell. The crowd comes alive as Tanner starts whacking Stan Wilson with some karate chops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner runs into the ropes and dropkicks the big man! He still doesn't go down, so Tanner takes him down with a drop toe hold, smashing his face into the second turnbuckle!
(Adrian sticks his knee into Stan's back and pulls back on his arms. Stan growls in pain as Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit to the surfboard)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan not giving up this early so Tanner whips him into the turnbuckles. Wilson bounces out into Tanner's huracanrana but Big Stan reverses it with a ligerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Adrian Tanner rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan bounces into the ropes and drops a big elbow across Tanner's face. He picks him up and applies a powerful bearhug.
Phil Blauer: The bearhug is the quintessential move for any big man. Back in the day, if he was over 400 pounds in coveralls you didn't even think about it. His finisher was the bearhug. Like any 400 pound black guy's finisher is the splash.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil that's...wait, you're right. I feel dirty just saying it, but you're right.
(Stan gets a good grip and tries to squeeze the life out of the 227 pound Adrian Tanner. The fans root on Tanner to break the bearhug, but Wilson keeps it on and crushes him with those giant arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan runs Tanner into the corner and crushes him with over 300 pounds. He grabs a hold of the middle ropes and rams his shoulder into Tanner's midsection a few times. Tanner grabs him by the head and spinning DDTs him!
(The audience leaps to their feet and Tanner arm drags Stan Wilson over into an armbar. He sticks his knee into the ball of Wilson's shoulder, and clamps down on his arm. The crowd applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner squeezes on that arm of Stan Wilson, but Wilson not submitting. Tanner stands up and rams his knee into The Tank's back. He pulls him up and tries to german suplex him, but Stan's too heavy. He back elbows Tanner in the face.
(Tanner staggers back and Wilson runs into the ropes and flips Tanner asshole over elbows with a flying lariot! America West Arena jeers and boos, and Stan Wilson lifts Tanner up in a suplex and leaves him up there)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson lets all the blood drain to his head and then drops him back into a suplex! Wilson backs him into the corner and then presses his size 20 boot against Adrian Tanner's throat.
(Tanner gasps and turns three different color while Mike Peters lays in the count. Stan breaks at four, and Peters gives him an earfull. Stan tells him to shut up. Tanner fires back with a couple chops and then reverse russian legsweeps his face into the turnbuckle! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off the top with a blockbuster neckbreaker!! He covers the giant!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2....(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. applies an STF to the big man. Wilson growls in pain as Tanner struggles to keep all of that body under wraps. Wilson reaches out and grabs the ropes!
(The Phoenix fans boo as Mike Peters forces Adrian Tanner Jr. to break the STF. Adrian Tanner runs into the ropes and hits Wilson with a flying body press but Wilson turns it into a tiltawhirl powerslam!! The boos get louder as Wilson hooks the leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson bounces into the ropes and drops that big leg across Tanner's neck!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wilson presses Tanner over his head and then drops him into a spinebuster!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
(The America West Arena applauds all Tanners pin escapes. Stan Wilson picks up Tanner into a back suplex but Adrian reverses it with a headlock takedown. Wilson's shoulders are pinned to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson rolls him into cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. rolls back into a headlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner gets up and elbow drops Wilson in the back. He applies a dragon sleeper on Wilson. He links his hands together and pulls back on his rather bulging head.
Phil Blauer: Jealous? You know green is not a good color on you.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You mean the color of your balls?
Phil Blauer: (high pitched, mimicking Guillermo) Yes, I mean the color of my balls.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out but Wilson refuses. Tanner pulls him up into a standing position in the inverted facelock and then drops him in a reverse DDT! He then locks the dragon sleeper back on)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. reapplies the dragon sleeper and leans back on The Tank's head & neck. He drags him over to the corner, and then steps on to the second turnbuckle. Tanner applies a full nelson while standing on the second rope.
(Mike Peters asks Stan Wilson if he wants to submit, but Wilson shakes his head "no". Tanner jumps off into a full nelson bulldog from the second rope! The Phoenix fans cheer, and Tanner pins him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. irish whips Stan Wilson into the ropes but The Tank comes back with a flying shoulderblock that knocks Tanner over! He grabs the rope and stomps Tanner's knee. He drops his boot down on Tanner's knee over & over.
(Tanner clutches his knee and Stan stomps it again, smashing Tanner's fingers. Stan Wilson then applies an inverted indian deathlock. He gets his legs set and then starts swatting Tanner in the back of the head with slaps from those big hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson clamping down on Tanner's twisted legs. Mike Peters checks in to see if Tanner wants to give up while the 19,000 in attendance beg him to hold on! Wilson irish whips him into the ropes and slams him from seven feet in the air with that flapjack!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson full nelsons Tanner and then lifts him up for a full nelson bomb but Tanner reverses it into an armdrag! Adrian Tanner climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a huracanrana!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. runs up the ropes into an inzuigiri to the back of the head! He full nelsons Wilson and then ties their legs up, before driving his face into the mat!
(The fans are deafening and Adrian Tanner Jr. hops onto the middle of the second rope to pump them up. He hops off the ropes and turns around right into a running boot from Wilson upside his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: That big boot sends Tanner flying over the top rope to the floor! Wilson steps over the top rope down to the floor. He presses Tanner over his head and then drops him into a powerslam on the concrete floor!!
(Crowd boos, and Tanner writhes around the floor, clutching the small of his back. Stan then pulls Tanner up on to his shoulder and flips him forward into a dominator on the railing!! Tanner's chest bounces off the railing and he falls into the lap of a fan in the front row)
Phil Blauer: Big Stan knows how to get down. He was UEA Hardcore Champion back in October of 2002.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson pulls him over the security rail and then lifts Tanner up into an alabama slam, but Tanner falls behind him with a sunset flip! The back of Wilson's head riccochets against the ringsteps!!
(Tanner pumps his fist to the crowd, and jumps to the apron. He gets a running start and then shooting star presses Stan off the apron!! America West Arena lets out a deafening pop, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Phil Blauer: I can't hear myself think in here! It's like a hell of my own design. I NEED MY THOUGHTS!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. runs along the apron again and then huracanranas him on the America West Arena floor!!
(The fans cheer, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" Tanner rolls Stan Wilson into the ring, and then climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. flips into a 180 corkscrew splash!!
(The chants get louder, "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" and Tanner hooks Wilson's leg)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Stan Wilson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner attempts an abdominal stretch, but Stan Wilson hiptosses him over. Wilson runs into the ropes and caves in his chest with a clothesline from hell!
(Stan irish whips Tanner into the ropes and hits him coming back with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Tank Slam!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan "The Tank" Wilson irish whips Tanner into the ropes again and catches him with a sidewalk backbreaker!! Stan goes for a german but Tanner flips behind him and then drops back into a flatliner!
(The America West Arena comes alive! Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a frog splash and the arena lights up like daytime from all the flash photography)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Fall from Grace!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Stan Wilson gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The crowd boos. Adrian Tanner Jr. steps through the ropes on to the apron. He slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and then spinning huracanranas him into a tornado DDT!! The crowd cheers wildly and Tanner runs up to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson rolls out of the way of a 450 legdrop!! Wilson fireman's carries him onto his shoulders and then spins it around into The Tank Drop implant DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan "The Tank" Wilson drops him back into a high angle back suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe it, Stan Wilson climbing up to the top turnbuckle and takes Tanner out with a flying lariot!!
(Stan Wilson presses Tanner over his head but Tanner falls behind him on his feet. Wilson turns around into a superkick under his jaw by Tanner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. floors him with a Daytripper! Tanner applies another dragon sleeper on Wilson.
Phil Blauer: It's gonna take every bit of strength Tanner has to squeeze that big head of his.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner hits a roll the dice manuever then locks on a headscissors on the facedown giant. Tanner grabs his left arm and applies
The Problem Solver (v1.0)!!
(The fans applaud the combination by Arizona's Most Wanted. Tanner squeezes the head of Wilson with those powerful legs while pulling up on his arm. Wilson refuses to tap out so Tanner releases it, then climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. comes off the ropes with a 450 leg drop and this time he hits it!! The crowd is on their feet as Tanner makes the cover!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans blow the roof off of The America West Arena as "Moment of Truth" by Damageplan plays)
Phil Blauer: Good God, we don't have to hear the lyrics again do we??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. evens up their Arizona Series at one a peice!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 26 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The crowd lets out an earsplitting pop for the Desert Rat. The fans boo Wilson, who grabs Adrian Tanner by the throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson chokeslams Adrian Tanner Jr. in the middle of the ring!!
(The cheers turn to boos, as Adrian Tanner lies motionless. Stan Wilson steps over the top rope, down to the floor to get a table from under the ring. He slides it in and sets it up)
Guilermo O'Bannon: The SWAT World Heavyweight Champion not taking this well! He rolls Tanner on to the table and...he's climbing to the top turnbuckle!!
(The crowd is on their feet, begging Stan to think it over. Stan Wilson comes off the top rope with an elbow drop on Adrian Wilson that liquifies the table!!! Beer bottles and soda cups come flying from all corners of the America West Arena)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The audience is about to riot here, but suddenly they are cheering.
Phil Blauer: What are they seeing that I'm not? Did Tara Reid's titty fall out?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is in the ring with a chair! He takes a big swing and tags Stan Wilson with that chair! A very dazed Wilson rolls out of the ring, and lives to fight another day!
(Stan Wilson staggers to the back as the Phoenix crowd chants, "Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Stanley *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Syberus calls for medical attention from the America West Arena EMTs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: These fans letting Stan Wilson have it, after he totally overreacts to the loss here tonight. It's so unlike him.
Phil Blauer: Stan is not taking this loss laying down!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. putting on an excellent show in front of his hometown fans and picking up the win. He's back in Hardkore World in a major way!
Phil Blauer: Hi, I'm TV's Phil Blauer. Usually I allow Gary McBannon to handle the intro or as I refer to "The Beginny part where I dose off". But recently it came to my attention that there will be five, count em, four hot women in tonight's match to be the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's Championship. Something of this magnitude cannot be handled by someone who's idea of an evening with a woman is masturbating in the bushes under a sorority house.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You did that last week!
Phil Blauer: I know, but seemed funnier if you did that. Now, Ashley is in this match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, she isn't.
Phil Blauer: Of course she isn't. What I mean to say is...Brandi?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: Sexy Anj?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: Makoto Jupiter?
Guillermo O'Bannon: JONNIE!!! Phil's fucking up the intro!
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: Phil! Don't make me come back there!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thanks, Jonnie.
Phil Blauer: Suck up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Later on tonight, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defends her Hardkore World Women's Championship against Ashley. The winner takes on one of these five women. None of them are a very attractive propositon.
Phil Blauer: Objection!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, this isn't a courtroom.
Phil Blauer: Any of these women make a very attractive proposition for me. In fact, I'd like to proposition any of these women. Maybe I will. Think Vagabond's seeing anyone?
Guillermo O'Bannon: You seen any of her promos lately?
Phil Blauer: Are they the ones where she punches retards?
("Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She walks to the ring with her long legs and a little smile)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond looking to get her first big title shot since coming over to the West Coast. She lost a threeway dance in Northern Ireland with Ashley & Alley to recieve tonight's shot. She's hoping tonight that the training she's been doing with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Big Bad Bill will help her get over that hump.
Phil Blauer: I'd like to get over a hump with her.
Yolanda Ando: Are you gonna be doing this all night? We could have just gotten Lawler. Vagabond's wearing a very cute green tank top and stretch pants.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Fiveway Elimination Match. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 102 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(The Phoenix crowd cheers. Then the lights get dim as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays over the loud speakers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley is another member of the Big Bad Bill's harem from EWW.
Phil Blauer: It's like a chick Invasion. Not that I'm complaining.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley not very happy about her performance in Northern Ireland and looking to change Hardkore fans minds about her. I like the black lipstick. I had a girlfriend with black lipstick. The sex was incredible but it got a little embarrassing sitting at Arby's with someone wearing a corset & thigh high boots.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of embarrassing, imagine my face with Alley realizes I accidentally let Snuggles out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Are you talking about your penis?
Phil Blauer: Oddly enough, not this time. Snuggles is her pet tiger.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (runs past them) HELP!! Tiger!! HELP!!!
Yolanda Ando: Alley wears black pants with a gray pullover. Her black hair is shoulder length and she has a single white braid on the right side.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And from Lacey Springs, Virgina; Standing 5 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 105 pounds...ALLEY!!!"
(Audience applauds her. She eyes Vagabond suspiciously. Then the lights in the America West Arena start to flicker)
Phil Blauer: Uh oh. I hope Tarrasque isn't licking the light socket again.
(The pyros explode and “Alive” by Saliva hits. A red spotlight points on the entrance ramp with a stoic Tamara Sanchez. She lifts her head presenting the two crosses painted under her eyes. Slowly she walks down the ramp as the crowd jeers)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And here comes one of the most decorated wrestlers in this match, Tamara Sanchez. She is not only a former Hardkore World Women's Champion, but she's won CWF Germany Women's title and UCW Women's title. Incredibly, she's also won alot of men's titles. The CWF Interglobal title, CWF Hardcore title, UCW US title, and the ICW Internet title. She also has had some of the most jaw dropping matches against Xyrynth last year.
Phil Blauer: And her "Fuck You, Fuck Me" t-shirt is the hottest selling thing at the concession stand. It's blowing "Doin it Soutter Style, Down Under" out of the water!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez feels she got screwed out of regaining her title at Irish Rage in Belfast with Horror Girl as the special ref, even though she was getting alot of fast counts. Tonight is her chance to get a rematch in Los Angeles.
Yolanda Ando: Tamara Sanchez wears ripped jeans, a black shirt saying “fuck me” on the front and “fuck you” on the back. Her dark hair is wrapped up in dreadlocks.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Now residing in New York City, Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
(The Phoenix fans boo. "Haunted" by Evanescence plays, and Horror Girl cautiously makes her way towards the ring. Bernice Biggs and Mr. Fame follow behind, making deals on their cell phones. Horror Girl pauses, tilting her head towards a jeering fan. When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at Vagabond, Alley, and Tamara Sanchez)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl went from being champion to challenger after "Sexy" Anjanette Turner upset her in Palm Springs. After she played special referee in Northern Ireland, she used her position to give fast counts to Tamara Sanchez and draw out the pinfalls for Turner so Sanchez could escape. Turner eventually blasted her with a chair to knock her out and score a pin over Tammy.
Phil Blauer: You can't really tell, but I think Horror Girl's pissed about it.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing some tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs, she appears to look like a zombie. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Of course, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her manager, Mr. Fame and his secratary, Bernice Biggs; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Fans boo Horror Girl as she snarls at them. Mr. Fame tries to calm her down to no avail. Then the arena grows dark & cold as evil green mist flows followed by chilling cold blooded screams of a woman then chilling female laughter booms all over the arena. Yolanda Ando rubs her arms, trying to signal to Phil that she’s cold)
Phil Blauer: Huh? Oh, I’d give you my jacket, but then I’d be cold. Then my nipple rings would show through my shirt. Then I’d get fined again.
(“Alice in Hell” by Annhilator plays as Vampira walks through the curtain led by both Judge Death & Psychotic Goth followed to the ring by an entourage of gothic dressed teenagers)
Phil Blauer: Go back to the mall!
(Vampira threatens to bite Yolanda)
Yolanda Ando: Aaaaaaah!!!
(Yolanda runs away as Vampira steps inside the ring. She slowly removes her jacket. Vampira snarls and glares evilly at Tammy)
Yolanda Ando: (phew) That was close. Vampira is wearing some tight black leather pants w ith a black leather metal studded belt & tight black T-Shirt, black steel toed boots, black leather jacket as well as black metal studded collar around her neck and black metal studded wrist bands. She wears gold pentagram necklaces around her neck and her waiste length dark hair flows freely down her back.
Guillermo O’Bannon: This will be Vampira’s first match of her career. That would be nerve racking enough, but she’s in there with some of the most accomplished wrestlers on the globe. Somehow, she doesn’t let it show on that beautiful face of hers.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And finally accompanied to the ring by her manager Judge Death and Psychotic Goth; Hailing from Somewhere in Carpathia; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 175 pounds...VAMPIRA!!!"
(The Arizona crowd boos Vampira when suddenly she whacks Alley in the back of the neck with a forearm smash. Ron Reid signals for the bell and Vampira hits Alley in the back of the neck again with her studded forearm pad)
Guillermo O’Bannon: We’re underway, and Horror Girl latches onto Vagabond’s face, digging her nails into their flesh! Vampira tags Alley in the back of the head again with that loaded forearm pad. Alley stumbles forward into Tamara Sanchez who hiptosses her across the ring!
(Horror Girl lets out a horrible screech then shoves Vagabond away. But Vagabond comes right back at her with a vicious spear to Horror Girl’s midsection! The fans cheer Vagabond. Vampira squats over Horror Girl and applies a heart claw)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira sticks that long thumbnail into Horror Girl’s breast plate while sinking her long claws into the rest of Horror Girl’s heart.
Phil Blauer: You’re assuming alot there.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez pushes Alley a couple times. Alley hauls off and slaps Tamara Sanchez!
(Crowd “Ooooohs” as Tammy holds her cheek. Her face turns red and then she belly to belly suplexes Alley over head. Tammy turns around and Vagabond monkey flips her across the ring! Vampira squeezes on Horror Girl’s bosom with her long claws. Ron Reid checks in to see if she submits. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley comes off the top with a Dai-Chan bomber lariot to Tamara Sanchez!! She covers the former owner of CWF Germany!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl sits up and bites the cheek of Vampira! Vampira is forced to break the heart claw. Horror Girl grabs her by her long hair and headbutts her in the jaw.
(Tamara Sanchez ducks under a superkick by Vagabond and atomic drops her into Alley, who lifts Vagabond up on to her shoulders)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley drops Vagabond into a Hercules cutter neckbreaker from a fireman’s carry!! She covers her biggest rival for Big Bad Bill’s attention!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl gives Vampira another headbutt to the cheek. She turns flips Vampira over into a tree of woe in the corner. Horror Girl stands on Vampira’s arms with her back to her, and pulls forward on her legs! The Coffin of Woe!
(Ron Reid begins counting to five as Horror Girl wrenches on Vampira’s legs. Vagabond comes off the ropes and catches Tamara Sanchez with a lou thez press. Ron Reid gets to four and then notices Vagabond making the pin, so he turns around to make the count, albeit late)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl is forced to break The Coffin of Woe by Reid. Tamara Sanchez takes advantage of Vampira upside down in the corner and superkicks her exposed midsection! Vagabond runs in from the other corner and baseball slide kicks Vampira’s upside down face!!
(The America West Arena pops as the four ladies take turns abusing Vampira as she’s trapped upside down in the corner. Alley runs in with a dropkick to Vampira’s belly! The audience cheers even louder. Psychotic Goth and Judge Death go to work freeing Vampira)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley hooks Tamara Sanchez in a fisherman’s suplex but adds a little corkscrew to make it The Three-Handed Moss-Covered Family Gredunza!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond hops onto the middle of the second rope and takes out both Alley and Tamara Sanchez with a lionsault! She pins both of them!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Both Alley and Tamara Sanchez kick out at the same time sending Vagabond over the top rope to the floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The force of both Sanchez & Alley kicking out sends Vagabond over the top rope! Tamara Sanchez climbs out to the apron and hops on to the middle of the second rope. Sanchez asai moonsaults Vagabond into the guardrail!!
(Crowd boos Tammy, as both ladies lie in a pile on the floor. Inside the ring, Vampira slugs Alley in the throat. She nails her with a second closed fist in her breastplate. Horror Girl pulls Alley’s arm through her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl pumphandles Alley up into a german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira pulls off her belt and wraps it around Horror Girl’s throat from behind. She’s choking Horror Girl with that leather belt!
(Ron Reid pleads with Vampira to give him the belt but she refuses. Ron Reid begins to lay in a count on Vampira as she continues to squeeze off Horror Girl’s air. Alley climbs out to the apron)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira lets go off the belt right before the count of five from Reid. Alley flips off of the middle of the second rope with a quebrada to both Tamara Sanchez and Vagabond!!
(The crowd cheers and chants “AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!!” Meanwhile, inside the ring, Vampira whips Horror Girl repeatedly across the back with her studded leather belt! Horror Girl shreiks in agony)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira climbs out to the apron, hops on to the middle of the second rope and corkscrew asai moonsaults Sanchez, Alley, and Vagabond!!
(The fans boo Vampira as the four women lie in a ruins. Horror Girl then runs into the ropes, as the women begin to get to their feet. Horror Girl hops onto the middle of the top rope, then springboards off into missle dropkick to all four women on the floor!! The crowd chants “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Phil Blauer: It is deafening in here!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond rolls into the ring, runs into the ropes and hops onto the middle of the top rope. She turns around and springboard moonsaults Alley, Horror Girl, Tamara Sanchez, and Vampira!!
(All five women fall in a pile, and the audience continues to chant “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!”)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira & Horror Girl pull out a press table and set it up. Horror Girl yanks Vagabond by the hair and drapes her over the table, then jams her elbow in Vagabond's throat. Vampira comes off the top rope with a shooting star press on Vagabond through the table on the floor!!!
(The America West Arena rocks with “HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!” Tamara Sanchez rolls into the ring, followed by Alley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez twists Alley's arm and Horror Girl comes off the second rope with a double ax handle to the twisted arm.
(Alley pokes Tammy in the eye with her good arm. Horror Girl grabs Sanchez up by her wristlocked arm. She lifts her high enough, so that she's off her feet. Horror Girl then grabs her by her head into a DDT)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond gingerly rolls back into the ring and irish whips Sanchez into the ropes. She follows her in, hops on to the middle of the second rope, and when Tammy comes back, Vagabond catches her with a spinning implant DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley tosses Vampira over the top rope, but Vampira catches the top rope and pulls herself back in. Horror Girl goes to irish whips Tamara Sanchez but Sanchez reverses the whip, and catches Horror Girl into a tiltawhirl slam!
(Tamara Sanchez climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a swandive headbutt but Horror Girl rolls out of the way!! Horror Girl gut wrenches Sanchez up on to her shoulder and then tigerbombs her)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez rolls her shoulder up)
Phil Blauer: Everyone's ganging up on Tammy! It's like that movie I saw of her.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and gives her an Unfettered Might corkscrew spear!!
Phil Blauer: Vagabond using the spear that Hardkore World Champion Big Bad Bill taught her!
(The audience pops and Tamara Sanchez clutches her stomach. Horror Girl sneaks up behind Vagabond and full nelsons her. Vampira hits her with a couple of heart punches)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond drops to her knees and Horror Girl steps on the back of her knees. She pulls Vagabond up into a double toe hold with a sleeper! Alley runs into the ropes, and front tumbles into a Liger kick to Vagabond's unprotected face!
(Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and hits her with a huracanrana! Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Vagabond shakes the ropes and crotches her on the steel cable hook)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez pulls Alley up on her shoulders, and then hops off, drilling her head into the mat with a death valley driver!! She hooks her leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vagabond flips off the top rope into her butterfly senton bomb!!
(The Phoenix fans are on their feet, and chanting for one more Butterfly Dive. Vagabond climbs to the top rope again, but Vampira steps up to the second turnbuckle. She clutches Vagabond by her throat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira chokeslams Vagabond off the second rope!! She covers her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 5 seconds, Vagabond has been eliminated."
(The audience boos, as Vagabond rolls out of the ring, clutching her back. Tamara Sanchez irish whips Vampira into the ropes and takes her down with a spinning headscissors that sends her across the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl sinks her teeth in Alley's neck and bites down as hard as she can!
(The booing gets louder, as Horror Girl gnashes her teeth on Alley's broken flesh. She tears herself away from Horror Girl and says “Bitch, ya’ friggin’ bit me!” and then bites her right back. The fans cheer wildly for Horror Girl finally getting a taste of her own medicine)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez goes to suplex Vampira, but she blocks it with her calf. Vampira counters with a suplex of her own and drops it into a jackhammer!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle. She front flips into a huracanrana on Vampira!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez scoops Horror Girl up and drops her into a backbreaker. She lifts Horror Girl up and sits her on the top turnbuckle. Before she can climb up to the second rope, Horror Girl swats her with a few right hands and spins around into a tornado DDT!!
(The crowd boos Horror Girl as she snarls and growls at them. Alley sneaks up behind her and delivers an unprettier on Horror Girl)
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't make much difference on Horror Girl.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl staggers to her feet, but Vampira gets underneath her legs and lifts her up and drops her into a electric chair!
Phil Blauer: I remember when we started that was an ocean cyclone suplex.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ah, were we ever that young? Vampira shows amazing strength by holding on to Horror Girl's arms and lift her into a second electric chair suplex! Vampira ducks under a bodypress by Sanchez but Tammy turns it into a sunset flip!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira claps her legs together on Tammy's head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Tamara Sanchez slugs her in the stomach. Alley falls on the top turnbuckle! Horror Girl climbs to the second turnbuckle and butterflies Alley's arms. Horror Girl double underhook superplexes Alley from the second rope!!
(The America West Arena boos Horror Girl. Horror Girl crotch ties Alley's arm through her legs. She pumphandles Alley over her shoulder, but Alley falls behind Horror Girl, landing on her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley half nelsons Horror Girl's one arm and hammerlocks the other. Alley release tiger suplexes Horror Girl on the back of her head! But Vampira gets behind Alley and cobra clutches her arm & neck.
(Vampira spins Alley round & round before dropping her to the mat, and wrapping her legs around Alley's midsection. She pulls back on Alley's arm while pressing down on the back of her head. Tamara Sanchez pulls Horror Girl on to her shoulders in a fireman's carry)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez flips forward into a somersault slam! Vampira squeezes Alley's kidneys with those powerful legs, as Ron Reid checks in to see if she wants to tap out. Sanchez walks over and begins stomping Alley's face & stomach as she's trapped in Vampira's cobra clutch.
(The Phoenix fans boo as Vampira double up on a trapped Alley. Horror Girl pulls off some of her mummy wrappings. She walks up behind Tamara Sanchez and wraps the bandage around her neck over & over. She ties off the mummy wrap and then tosses Tammy over the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl hangs Tammy over the top rope with her mummy wrap! Vampira continues to apply the on the mat cobra clutch, while Sanchez's face is turning red from lack of oxygen.
(Ron Reid lays in the count for Horror Girl to cease choking Tamara Sanchez. Vampira sees that Ron Reid is not checking for Alley's submission and releases the cobra clutch. Horror Girl releases the mummy wrap at the four count from Reid. Vampira comes up from behind Horror Girl and full nelsons her)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira dragon suplexes Horror Girl! She maintains the full nelson and pulls her up for a second dragon suplex! She hangs on for a third and this time holds a bridge!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez gets to her feet on the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. She dives off the top into Vampira's midsection with a flying spear! She pins the undead one!
Phil Blauer: Which one?
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley drags Vampira by the hair over to the ropes and then ties her arms up in the ropes. She slugs Tamara Sanchez and then irish whips her right into a trapped Vampira in the ropes!
(Alley stomps a mudhole in both Tamara Sanchez & Vampira. Horror Girl walks over and picks up Vampira by the throat and lifts her up with both arms)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl hoists Vampira out of the choke over into a full powerslam! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez grabs Vampira by the leg and turns her over into a single leg boston crab. She yanks back on Vampira's leg as her screams fill the America West Arena.
(Alley comes over and stomps the back of Vampira's head over & over as Tammy pulls back on her leg. Ron Reid asks Vampira if she wants to submit)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley tags Tamara Sanchez a few times with some slaps that breaks the canadian maple leaf. She double underhooks Sanchez's arms and pulls her up onto her shoulder. She drops Sanchez's unprotected shoulder on her shoulder with a Colt 45!!
(Tamara Sanchez clutches her arm. Vampira irish whips Alley into the ropes and catches her on the rebound with a black hole slam)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira Death Slam!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira stands up and turns around into a spear by Horror Girl! She turns it into a spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Vampira kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Alley is in the ring with a chair! I told you that bitch is crazy!
Guillermo O’Bannon: When?
Phil Blauer: It's a given!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley clubs Tamara Sanchez in the head with a chair! Vampira turns into a chair shot of her own! Horror Girl doesn't look concerned when Alley swings for the fences with that chair!
(The thud of the chair cracking Horror Girl's skull rings through the America West Arena! Horror Girl's head sinks into her shoulders, but she no-sells it and roars in Alley's face. Alley gulps a little)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley winds back and bends the frame on Horror Girl's cranium!!
Phil Blauer: That one didn't do it either.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Horror Girl staggering around dazed, and Alley runs into the ropes. She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into her asai moonsault DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 17 seconds, Horror Girl has been eliminated!"
(The Phoenix fans go wild as Horror Girl sits up, with a snarl on her face. She goes to attack Ron Reid, but Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs hold her back as the official cowers in the corner)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ron Reid looking pretty scared of Horror Girl there.
Phil Blauer: If I were any of the three ladies left in this match, I would not roll around in that puddle around Reid's legs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vampira swats Tamara Sanchez with a few kung fu kicks. She bites the neck of Tamara Sanchez!
(Sanchez shrieks in pain and demands Ron Reid stop Vampira. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and then comes down on top of both Vampira & Tamara Sanchez with a skytwister press!! The fans pop)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley front facelocks Vampira and then backflips into a Shiranoi!! She turns around into a superkick by Tamara Sanchez!
(Alley lies dazed on the mat. Tamara Sanchez boots Vampira in the stomach and then grabs two handfuls of her hair and X factors her face into the canvas! Tammy climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez comes off the top rope with a huracanrana but Vampira catches her legs and powerbombs her! She grabs hold of that belt and grinds the studs of them into Tammy's forehead!
(Vampira walks over to Alley and wraps the belt around Alley's neck. She grabs her by her white braid and tosses her over the top rope. Vampira then hangs Alley over that top rope with her belt)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed; 5 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley kicks her heels into the apron as she struggles for air. Ron Reid begs her to stop, but Vampira isn't listening. Tamara Sanchez comes up from behind and dumps Vampira & Alley over the ropes to the floor below! Sanchez slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope and springboard bulldogs Vampira's throat on the guardrail!
(Tamara Sanchez rolls onto the apron, then gets a running start and backflips into a shooting star press on Alley on the floor!! The crowd pops for that move)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez hits her finisher, The 7 Year Inch on Alley on the America West Arena. Sanchez rolls Vampira into the ring. She climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Vampira shakes the ropes and crotches Sanchez on the top turnbuckle. Vampira climbs to the second rope and Carpathian Slams her!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley backflip corkscrew legdrops the back of Vampira's head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez pulls Vampira up into a front facelock and then drops her into a twist of fate!! She makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 27 minutes 26 seconds, Vampira has been eliminated."
(The audience applauds the two remaining wrestlers, as Tamara Sanchez and Alley try to catch their breath)
Phil Blauer: What are they doing? There's less than three minutes left in this match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: They've been wrestling for nearly a half hour, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Poppycock, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill. You didn't see me miss a beat.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Was that the day you threw up all over yourself and called in sick to work on your day off?
Phil Blauer: 30 minutes!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley showing alot of improvement since her match in Northern Ireland. She sneaks up behind Tamara Sanchez and rakes her nails down her back!
(Sanchez screams out and arches her back out in pain. Alley irish whips Tammy into the ropes and hops onto her shoulders, then spins around on to the back of her neck for a reverse huracanrana! The audience cheers as Alley climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley twists into a Yang Time backtwisting splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez puts her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop, but Sanchez twists into a corkscrew neckbreaker! She climbs to the top rope, and flips off into a swanton bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tamara Sanchez hops onto the middle of the second rope and lionsaults her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sanchez gets to her feet but Alley gets up and yanks her to the mat by her dreadlocks. Sanchez staggers up and gets a kick to the stomach. Alley runs into the ropes and comes back with an axe kick to the back of his head!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley scoops up Tammy, but Tammy slips behind Alley and lands in an inverted facelock. She drops her in an scorpion deathdrop! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tammy's lying on her stomach, Alley hooks Sanchez's arm under her leg, crosses her ankles, and pulls back on her legs in a tequila sunrise! She pulls back on her arm and leg trying to get a submission out of her before the time limit expires.
(Sanchez cries out in pain, as Alley tries to bend her arm & leg in half. Ron Reid checks in to see if Tammy wants to tap out, Sanchez is not answering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has had some arm issues the entire match and her leg was broken in March. This could be it!
(The bell rings and the audience cheers. Alley releases the tequila sunrise and raises her arms in victory. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the loudspeaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She got in just under the wire, but Alley is going to Los Angeles to wrestle the winner of tonight's match between Ashley & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the time limit has expired. Referee Ron Reid has ruled this match...A DRAW!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and Alley kicks the bottom rope in frustration. Tamara Sanchez spins Ron Reid around and starts arguing with him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez never submitted and the time limit expired. So who is the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's title?
Phil Blauer: The Microshocker? He won his first match tonight, he deserves a rematch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm hearing in my IFB earpeice that Hardkore Jonnie Valentine is booking a match between Alley and Tamara Sanchez. The winner will recieve a shot at the Hardkore World Women's Championship at Hardkore Helloween in Cleveland, Ohio!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Coming up next is our first title match of the evening. “Sexy” Anjanette Turner puts her championship on the line against Ashley, a three time EWW Champion.
Phil Blauer: EWW does sound like something you would say if you walked in on your parents...and your uncle.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley defeated Vagabond & Alley in Northern Ireland on pay-per-view to win the right to face Sexy Anj tonight. She showed us in that match that she has what it takes to stand with the best wrestlers on the West Coast.
(“Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays as Ashley raises her hands over her head to acknowledge the Phoenix crowd. The audience gives her a decent pop)
Yolanda Ando: Ashley seems to be losing the attention of Big Bad Bill. Vagabond has been spotting training with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion, The Big Man In The Locker Room, The B.M.I.L.R....
Phil Blauer: I didn’t know you were so in to that whole soap opera.
Yolanda Ando: Oh yeah. Me and the entire Hardkore World women’s locker room have been glued to the TV.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Besides you, who in the Hardkore World women’s locker room isn’t involved in the Big Bad Bill soap opera?
Yolanda Ando: Uh...Domino. And Microshocker can’t get enough of the stuff.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley is a very powerful woman. Not just with political clout backstage, but is also one of the strongest women on the West Coast next to Horror Girl.
Yolanda Ando: Ashley has on some red stretch pants with a red loose fitting blouse over a black tank top. Her short curly hair with reddish highlights.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tampa, Florida; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 140 pounds...ASHLEY!!!"
(The 19,000 in attendance at the America West Arena applaud Ashley. Then “GirlFight” by Brooke Valentine plays and the crowd cheers wildly. Domino steps out and the fans gasp)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino is leading “Sexy” Anjanette Turner down to the ring!
Phil Blauer: Wait. I don’t have my glasses. Are you sure that isn’t Dan Stein?
Guillermo O’Bannon: No, but Anjanette and Stein are good friends from back in the National Wrestling Council back in 1999. She must know Domino, his ex-wife, from then.
(Some fans in attendance boo Domino being around Anjanette Turner, but most try and slap her hand on the way down to the ring. Anjanette Turner rubs the Hardkore World Championship and steps into the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette survived a match with Tamara Sanchez in Northern Ireland where Horror Girl was the referee. After that, she must have decided she needed someone watching her back.
Yolanda Ando: The Hardkore World Women’s Champion is wearing her traditional red two peice bathing suit & red boots, with her hair in a pony tail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent; accompanied to the ring by her new manager, Domino; (America West Arena boos) Now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
(The fans cheer Anjanette Turner, as she yanks on the ropes, loosening them. Mike Peters holds up Anjanette’s championship belt and then signals for the bell. Anjanette Turner runs at Ashley but she presses the champion over her head! The crowd applauds this feet of strength)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley tosses Turner halfway across the ring! She catches Turner with a forearm shot to the chin, and then scoops her up for a bodyslam. Another bodyslam! She scoops Turner up a third time and this time powerslams her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley hops up to the second turnbuckle from inside the ring...
Phil Blauer: This could be a little early.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino jumps up on to the apron and trips Ashley when she steps up on the top rope! Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and belly to back superplexes her!!
(The crowd boos Domino. Anjanette Turner steps on the backs of Ashley’s knees and then bridges her up into an inverted surfboard! Ashley cries out in pain as Turner bounces her up & down on her calves. Domino applauds on the outside)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner rolls Ashley on to her knees, then applies a headscissors. She grabs Ashley’s arm and falls back into a submission hold. Anjanette showing off her mat prowess early.
(Mike Peters checks in with Ashley, asking her if she submits. Ashley refuses, as Anj yanks up on her arm again. Ashley works her way to her feet with Anjanette still on the mat, applying the head scissors)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley slips her arm out of Anj’s clutches and then leg drops her face. Ashley pulls her up and textbook suplexes the champion!
(Ashley scoops Turner up and drops down to one knee with a shoulderbreaker. Anj yelps out in pain and clutches her arm. She pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley pulls Turner up into a last ride powerbomb but Turner squeezes her legs around Ashley’s head and drills her head into the mat with a huracanrana!!
(Turner dusts her shoulders off as Ashley rolls around the mat, holding her head. She then runs into the ropes and handsprings into a standing moonsault)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner applies an STF on Ashley, pulling up on her head while armbarring her right arm. Peters checks in with Ashley while Anj clamps down with her forearm on her throat.
(Fans applaud the STF with the armbar, with Domino leading them on. Anjanette tugs up on Ashley’s head while squeezing her arm in that wakigatame armlock. Anjanette releases Ashley’s leg and slides up on her back. She chicken wings both of Ashley’s arms, then threads her arms through in to a full nelson submission)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner working down both of the arms of the former owner of EWW. She lifts Ashley up by both of her chicken winged arms! Ashley’s screams are unsettling!
(Mike Peters asks Ashley if she submits and she shakes her head. Anjanette gets tired and then pitches Ashley chestfirst into the mat, with no arms to protect her face. Turner waits for Ashley to get to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner goes to kick Ashley in the chest, but Ashley catches her boot. Turner comes around with an inzuigiri kick but Ashley ducks it! Ashley then wheelbarrows Turner’s legs up into a faceplant tigerbomb!!
(Anj clutches her hand to her face. Ashley comes off the ropes and elbow drops Anjanette Turner. She covers the champion)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Phil Blauer: Ashley is making Anjanette get used to keeping a high-paced speed and ariel-attack style match.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Anjanette into the corner. She steps over the champ on the second rope, and pummels her in the head with punches.
Fans: 1!
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Fans: 5!
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Fans: 10!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley monkey flips a dizzy but “Sexy” Anjanette Turner across the ring! Ashley scoops her up into a bodyslam but Turner falls behind her on her feet, with an inverted facelock. She twists Ashley’s neck into a test drive!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Ashley’s head into her legs and butterflies her arms. She runs into the center of the ring, pulls Ashley up by the arms into a michinoku driver I!! Ashley bounces off her face, and then Turner rolls her over into a pinning predictament!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner grabs Ashley’s leg and then spins it around into a spinning toe hold. She laughs in Ashley’s face and then drops back into a figure four leglock! Anj clamps down on Ashley’s twisted legs, and Ashley sits up in pain.
(On the outside, Domino pounds on the apron, rooting on her client, Anjanette Turner. Mike Peters asks Ashley if she submits. Ashley grabs Peters’ shirt in agony, but refuses to submit. Anjanette finally releases the figure four, but not before stomping Ashley’s knee a few times)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to get to her feet. She comes off the top with a flying roundhouse kick!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner pulls Ashley’s head into her legs, but Ashley blocks a piledriver. She reverses with an alabama slammer!!
(The audience pops for the sound of Anjanette’s skull bouncing off the canvas. Ashley pulls Turner up by the ponytail and irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley sends the champion acrosss the ring with a flying head scissors takedown! Ashley straddles over top of her and slaps Turner around!
(The America West Arena gasps at the sound of Ashley’s fists striking Turner’s face. Suddenly, the crowd begins buzzing & turning their attention to the aisleway. With Anj on her back, Ashley first hooks her leg behind Anj’s head. Ashley then applies an armbar and pulls up, applying pressure both to the arm and to the neck.)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley squeezes Turner’s head inside her powerful legs, while wrenching up on her arm.
Phil Blauer: There is a woman coming down to ringside!
Guillermo O’Bannon: You’re always right, Phil. There’s a tall woman with fiery hair walking down to the ring, while Ashley pulls up on Turner’s armbarred arm.
(The woman stands at ringside with her arms folded, watching Ashley expertly apply the Stranglehold Gamma. Domino eyes her suspiciously. Ashley pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner blocks a piledriver by Ashley and backdrops her over her shoulder! She applies a crossface to Ashley’s throat and chicken wings her arm. She tries to choke off all of Ashley’s air, but she won’t submit to the referee. Turner ties up their legs and drives Ashley’s face into the mat with a leg sweep!
(Domino applauds. Anjanette Turner grabs Ashley’s legs while she lies on the mat. She steps through them and then turns Ashley over into a sharpshooter. She pulls back on Ashley’s twisted legs, as the two time EWW Women’s Champion tries to not tap out to Mike Peters)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj bridges backwards and reverse chinlocks Ashley’s face while maintaining the sharpshooter. She tenses both her legs & arms to nearly bend Ashley in half with a bridging scorpion deathlock!
(The crowd applauds the complicated submission hold. Ashley cries out in pain, as Turner rocks with her arms & legs. Turner releases it, and scoops Ashley up onto her shoulder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Sexy” Anjanette Turner spins around into a corkscrew tombstone piledriver!! She covers Ashley!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Ashley up & over into a gory special bomb right on her head!! She turns her over into a pin!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner runs into the ropes, but the woman at ringside pulls down the top rope and Turner spills out to the floor!
(The crowd boos, and Domino comes over to have a word with the woman standing in Ashley’s corner. The woman grabs a steel chair and Domino backs off. Ashley’s friend tosses the chair into the ring. Ashley sets up the chair near the ropes, while Domino tries to help Anj to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair over the ropes into a plancha on “Sexy” Anjanette Turner & Domino!!
(The fans pop as Domino, Ashley, & Anjanette Turner lie in a pile. The 19,000 in attendance give the ladies a standing ovation. Ashley pulls Turner’s head into her legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley piledrives “Sexy” Anjanette Turner’s skull into America West Arena floor!! She scoops Turner up and bodyslams her back on to the concrete!!
(Turner slides on the floor, clutching the small of her back. Ashley waits for her to get up. When she does, Turner ducks a clothesline by Ashley and drops the back of her head on the cement with a dangeous backdrop driver on the floor!! The fans cheer for Anjanette, while she climbs to the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj comes off the top with a spinning huracanrana off the top rope to the floor!!
(The fans chant “ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!! ANJ!!” Turner rolls Ashley back into the ring. She gets behind her and applies a katha- jime chokehold. She squeezes her forearm against Ashley’s windpipe, and spins her around & round so she can’t get her footing)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner spinning Ashley around & round in that tazmission, while choking all the air out of her. Anjanette Turner then drops to her back in the kataha-jime chokehold and applies a bodyscissors.
(Ashley rakes her nails across Turner’s eyes to break the chokehold. Ashley gets behind Anjanette and applies a sleeper hold. Turner tries to fight her off while Domino screams out “Get out! Get out!” to Anj)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner reaches out for the ropes but Ashley has her square in the middle of the ring. That woman, Rachael I believe her name is, slides a chair into the ring. Ashley grabs the chair and slugs Anj across the shoulder blades with it!!
(Anjanette bounces through the ropes to the outside, clutching her back. Domino demands that Mike Peters disqualify Ashley. Racheal walks over and lifts Turner by the throat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: I thought I recognized her. She’s Ashley’s bodyguard from EWW, Rachael! She’s got Anjanette up by the throat, and there’s nothing the Women’s Champion or her manager can do about it.
(Rachael drops “Sexy” Anjanette Turner on the arena floor hard! Ashley slingshots herself on to the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a plancha to Turner as she gets to her feet!! The crowd goes wild)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley rolls Turner into the ring and gets in there herself. Turner ducks under a clothesline and runs her into the ropes and rolls back into a rolling prawn cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner gut wrenches Ashley up on to her shoulder then spinning tigerbombs her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner fireman's carries Ashley up onto her shoulders and then walks her over to the corner. She sits Ashley on the top turnbuckle then climbs to the second rope. Turner gut wrench suplexes her from the top!!
(Ashley arches her back in pain, and Anjanette Turner applies a front facelock on the mat. She scissors Ashley's arm through her legs, and clamps down on the neck & head)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette going back to the neck & arm of Ashley, trying to pull her arm out of it's socket. She links her fingers together tighter so that she can squeeze Ashley's neck. But Ashley rolls her over into a cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Anjanette is forced to break the grounded facelock)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley pulls Anjanette's head into her legs, and then pulls her up & over her shoulder, dropping down into a widow's peak!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley grabs Anjanette in a half nelson and then t-bone suplexes her across the ring! Sexy Anj bounced off her head on that one!
(Ashley sits on Anjanette's back and hooks her arms around her legs. She sits back on Turner's back with a camel clutch. She rocks back with Turner's head in her hands)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley wrenches her head from side to side, rocking back into a camel clutch! Ashley releases it and climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino shakes the ropes and Ashley crotches herself on the turnbuckle steel cable hook. Anjanette climbs to the second turnbuckle with her back to Ashley. She lifts her up into an inverted crucifix, then pitches her off the second rope into an inverted splash mountain bomb!! Ashley bounces off her face!
(The audience boos Turner & Domino. Anjanette gets behind Ashley, hooks her leg and then back cradle suplexes her)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to get to her feet. Turner flips over Ashley with a blockbuster neckbreaker!!
(Anjanette Turner waistlocks Ashley but she reverse a dangerous backdrop driver into a stratusfaction bulldog! The woman outside breaks out in some applause. She grabs Turner by the neck and drives her into the mat with a rock bottom)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Turner into the ropes and then whacks her upside the head with some sweet chin music! She climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino trips her again!
(The America West Arena roars with boos, while Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and waistlocks her. She then belly to back superplexes her! She holds the bridge)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner lifts Ashley up into a suplex then drops her in a falcon arrow!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Turner climbs to the top turnbuckle and then backflips into a gorgeous moonsault splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
(The audience applauds this match with all the near falls. Anjanette drags her by her curly hair over to the corner. She climbs to the second rope, and inverted facelocks Ashley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette tries to jump off with The Turner Tornado but Ashley has it scouted and grabs on to the top rope. She drives her shoulder into Turner's stomach, and then spinebusters her back into the turnbuckle! Ashley then flips her into her acid drop finisher!!
(The crowd leaps to their feet and cheers as Ashley covers a laid out champion)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Domino puts Anjanette's boot on the bottom rope)
Phil Blauer: Domino earns every dime Anjanette's ever gonna pay her right there!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley irish whips Anjanette Turner into the ropes and clotheslines her out of her boots! Ashley gets behind Turner and applies a masterlock.
Phil Blauer: If Anj gets out of this, she wins 10 G's!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ahsley presses down on the back of Turner's neck with that considerable strength. Peters checking in to see if she wants to tap out.
(Ashley presses Anjanette Turner over her head, and Turner begs to be put down. Domino tries to enter the ring, causing Ashley to drop Turner, and turn her attention to her manager. Rachael grabs Domino by the back of her skirt into the railing!! Ashley then grabs Turner in a three quarter nelson. Zack Daniels runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley going for another acid drop but Anjanette Turner pushes her off into Zack Daniels who steps up on Ashley's thigh, then swings around into a shining wizard knee to the side of her head!!
(The crowd boos as Ashley drops to the mat. Anjanette inverted facelocks her and climbs to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into a Turner Tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(America West Arena boos as "GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays over the loudspeaker. Domino & Zack Daniels grab the Hardkore World Women's Championship belt off of timekeeper Ron De La O's table)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 19 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
Guillermo O’Bannon: Domino hands Anjanette the title and Daniels shakes her hand. This new partnership seems to be benefitting Anjanette's win loss record, but it isn't endearing her to the fans very much.
(Rachael walks into the ring and grabs Anjanette by the throat. The fans jump up and cheer. Domino tries to stop her, but Racheal grabs her by the throat as well)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rachael double chokeslams Turner & Domino!! She grabs Domino and pulls her head into her legs, and jacknife powerbombs her!!
(The audience roars, and Domino weakly rolls out of the ring to safety. Rachael pulls Anjanette's head into her legs, and dedicates the move to an exhausted Ashley)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Before Rachael can jackknife the champion, Zack Daniels waistlocks Rachael and backdrop drivers her!!
Phil Blauer: But he did it to a girl!
(Phoenix crowd boos Zack Daniels and he collects Anj, pulling her out of the ring. Racheal rubs the back of her head, and helps Ashley to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley and Rachael swearing revenge at the Hardkore World Women's champion.
Phil Blauer: I think Rachael's mostly just swearing.
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Aug 20, 2005#28
***commercial***
Phil Blauer: Hi. I'm TV's Phil Blauer. If your anything like me, your constantly worrying about fitting your court mandated Community Service hours in your ever increasingly busy schedule. But recently, I've discovered that if you have your own charity, it all counts towards time served! Pretty sweet deal, eh, Mr. & Mrs. America? So I set about putting those that society has given up on back to work. Introducing Pimps 2 Work!
(Camera cuts to a phone bank filled with rows & rows of men in colorful clothing yelling into phones)
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***commercial***
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now it's time for our first title match of the evening. The Shootfighter puts his West Coast title on the line against "The Excellence of Elegance" Zach Daniels. Last month The Shootfighter defeated Daniels & "Giant" Baba O'Reilly in a Belfast Death Match in Northern Ireland. Now Daniels gets a one on one rematch tonight. He's been training hard for this match, even talking with four time Hardkore World Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner about training him.
Phil Blauer: I dinner that didn't go so well. In fact, I haven't seen a date go so bad since I took out Cokie Roberts. Who knew she didn't like porno flicks?
Yolanda Ando: She hasn't seen the right ones...
(BOOM! Fireworks hit the arena as "Miseria Cantare" by AFI starts. The instrumental part plays complete and Zack comes out with his hood over his head. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner walks out behind him with the Hardkore World Women's Championship strapped around his waist. Daniels puts his thumb under the hood and looks to the left, then the right and then forward before jerking it back and stretching both his arms outward to which a shower of pyros start to fall. They then cockily saunter to the ring and Zack Daniels gets on the apron. He looks at the crowd for a while before jumping over the top rope and going over to the turnbuckle where he perches the middle rope and stretches both his arms outward. He does that for the opposite turnbuckle as well and then takes off his hoodie and awaits The Shootfighter)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels looking to win his first Hardkore America championship here tonight against The Shootfighter. He's definately got a good chance of succeeding, I've never seen Shootfighter this mad since his feud with Soutter.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, when he gets mad he hits the bag hard like this (punches his hand) But when he's really mad, he hits it like this (punches his hand harder)Owwwwww...MEDIC!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels made an appearance earlier tonight, helping "Sexy" Anjanette Turner keep her title belt. She seems to be returning the favor by accompanying him down to the ring.
Yolanda Ando: Daniels wears some blue and red medium sized tights with his initals "ZD" written on his ass. And what an ass! The design is the "Z" overlapping the "D". His ring attire is much like AJ Styles's entrance attire. Same colors as the tights and it says "Excellent" on the back of the hoodie with a big "Z" under it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by 'Sexy' Anjanette Turner; Hailing from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 216 pounds...'THE EXCELLENCE OF ELEGANCE' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
(Audience gives him a mixed reaction. Then "Mortal Kombat" by The Immortals plays and the Arizona fans pop. Judge Death walks out with The Shootfighter, carrying his stainless steel cane. The Hardkore West Coast title belt is strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has to adjust his style once again. From the willy knilly threeway battle he endured in Northern Ireland, to a high flying cruiserweight wrestler like Zack Daniels. But if anyone can do it, it's him.
Phil Blauer: Willy Knilly?
Yolanda Ando: The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back with the Hardkore West Coast title belt strapped over it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Judge Death; From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience applauds. Ron Reid holds up the Hardkore West Coast title belt over his head and then signals for the bell. The two lions circle one another as the fans stomp their feet in anticipation)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter punches at Daniels with a muay thai strike but Zack catches his arm & armdrags him. A second one sends him across the ring. Zack Daniels monkey flips The Shootfighter to the other side of the ring.
(The Shootfighter crawls over to the ropes to get some advice from Judge Death. Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and 619 swinging dropkicks him! Shootfighter covers his face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hits Zack Daniels with a couple of dragon claw strikes to his chest. He then peppers him with a muay thai kick to his kidney and then under the arm.
(Audience winces at the sound of all the air escaping Daniels' lungs. Shootfighter whacks away with some knife edge chops to Zack's throat. Daniels ducks under one and hits him with a dangerous backdrop driver)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels shoots Shootfighter into the ropes and spinning head scissors him over into a russian leg sweep! He rolls over into a pinning position!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels irish whips Shootfighter into the turnbuckles and then cracks him with a superkick! He climbs to the top rope and backflips into a corkscrew shooting star press but Shootfighter rolls out of the way!! Shootfighter applies an on-the-mat cobra clutch and applies a body scissors.
(Zack Daniels waves his arms wildly as Shootfighter pulls back on his arm and presses forward on his neck. He squeezes with those vicelike legs on the sides of Daniels' torso)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels reaches out for the ropes but Shootfighter rolls him on to the other side. Shootfighter releases The ShootClutch and then gets up and tags him with a few muay thai kicks to his lower back. He then squats over him and hits him with a barrage of dragon claw strikes to his chest.
(Shootfighter pulls Daniels up to his feet but Daniels ducks under a muay thai strike and back suplexes Shootfighter into a blue thunder bomb)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels steps to the outside and pulls on the top rope, slingshotting himself over the ropes into a leg drop. He double underhooks Daniels' arms, then kicks his legs out from underneath him with a Devil's Lock DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter gets behind Daniels and hits him with a forearm to the groin! He picks up Daniels in a human torture rack and spins him around & round before dropping him with a Thailand Slam! He hooks his leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps up Zack Daniels in an STF, and then applies a crippler crossface on top.
Phil Blauer: The audience seems sort of dead for this one. Not for any lack of wrestling action, but I think with Zack Daniels interfering in the women's match they're not liking this guy. And Shootfighter isn't a traditional babyface, either. I haven't heard a crowd this quiet...well, since The Shock won his first match earlier tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, but that was one of those stunned silences, this is more of a wait & see quiet.
(The Shootfighter pulls up on Daniels' neck & head as Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner pounds on the mat to root on Zack Daniels)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter has those hands locked and pulls up on Daniels' head as hard as he can. Daniels reaches out and grabs the ropes! Ron Reid forces a break and Shootfighter begrudgingly agrees. Shootfighter irish whips Daniels into the ropes but Daniels comes back with a running STO!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels steps out onto the apron, pulls on the rope and slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, he springboards off the top with a spinning wheel kick!!
(The audience applauds at that move. Zack Daniels double underhooks Shootfighter's arms and then pulls him up into a tiger driver '91)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels headlocks Shootfighter and then uses his body's momentum to tazplex him!! He irish whips Shootfighter into the corner, then handsprings into a backflip elbow but no one's home. Shootfighter cracks Daniels with a few muay thai punches to his nose. Shootfighter then german suplexes him out of the corner!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps his legs up and turns him over into a sharpshooter. He slides Daniels's legs up a little higher to get a better position on it.
(Shootfighter gets Daniels legs up as high as they can go so it is almost a lion tamer. Ron Reid checks in to see if Daniels wants to tap but he refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter releases The ShootCrab, and hovers over him, tattooing him with stiff forearm shots to the back of his neck & head. Daniels fights his way to his feet and drops Shootfighter with a flatliner!
(Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and smacks Shootfighter in the jaw with a running inzuigiri kick. Shootfighter collapses facefirst on the canvas as Daniels climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: 450 Backflip Legdrop!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels grabs Shootfighter in a 3/4 nelson, then runs up the turnbuckles into a Sliced Bread #2 inverted DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels rushes Shootfighter but he belly to belly suplexes Zack over the top rope to the apron! The Shootfighter steps out to the apron, and half nelsons Zack.
(Judge Death drags a wooden table next to the apron. The Shootfighter t-bone suplexes Zack Daniels headfirst through the press table!! The crowd finally comes alive and gives The Shootfighter a huge pop! They begin chanting "SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!! SHOOT!!")
Phil Blauer: I don't believe my ears...a Shootfighter chant!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter picks him up and hits a snap suplex on the America West Arena floor! He grabs Daniels by the hair and rams his face into the cornerpost!!
(Daniels twirls around so all of The America West Arena can see his bloody gash over his eye. The Shootfighter comes at him with a clothesline, but Daniels ducks and his arm catches the ringpost)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter's arm caught that cornerpost and now Zack Daniels is standing on the apron. Shootfighter turns around and Daniels runs off the apron and catches him with a tornado DDT on the concrete!!
(Shootfighter's head bounces off the America West Arena, and then he rolls to his side. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner helps a bloody Daniels to his feet. He rolls into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels backflips into a corkscrew shooting star press on a dazed The Shootfighter!!
(The audience pops for that move as both wrestlers lie next to one another exhausted. Zack Daniels rolls Shootfighter into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels spins off the top rope into a spiral tap onto The Shootfighter!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Excellence of Elegance" Zack Daniels steps back out to the apron and waits for Shootfighter to get to his feet. He springs back into the ring with a swandive stunner!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Zack Daniels runs into the ropes and comes back into a full powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels stands up right into a russian sickle from The Shootfighter! He pounds his chest with a few heart punches, then locks on a tri corner choke!
(Zack Daniels turns beet red from lack of oxygen as The Shootfighter clamps down on his windpipe. Ron Reid crouches over a blood soaked Zack Daniels and asks him if he wants to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner puts Zack Daniels foot on the rope! She put his boot on the ropes and calls Ron Reid's attention to it, and he forces The Shootfighter to break the tri-corner choke!
(The fans boo, and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner runs over and clotheslines Judge Death on the floor! Zack Daniels gives The Shootfighter a t-bone suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner grabs that stainless steel singapore cane and hands it to Zack Daniels. Daniels spins around and cracks The Shootfighter in the head with that steel cane!!
(The Shootfighter staggers around with some blood running down his face. Zack Daniels runs over, steps up on Shootfighter's knee into a shining wizard kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lights Out!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it! Zack Daniels has upset The Shootfighter for The Hardkore West Coast Championship!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 48 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...'THE EXCELLENCE OF ELEGANCE' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
("Sexy" Anjanette Turner straps the Hardkore West Coast title around his waist. He raises his arms and steps up on the second rope. The audience gives him a round of applause for such a good match)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter has held on to that title since April, and tonight relinquishes it in a hard fought match up.
(The Phoenix crowd gives The Shootfighter and Judge Death a standing ovation for a good match. Zack Daniels continues to hold up his arms high in celebration)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels starts a new era for the Hardkore West...Sexy Anj just cracked Daniels in the back of the head with that stainless steel singapore cane!!
(The America West Arena gasps, and then boos as Anjanette stands over Daniels' unconcious body. She winds up and cracks Daniels between the legs with that singapore cane! Daniels sits up in pain)
Phil Blauer: That woke him up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner first used Zack Daniels interference to retain her Hardkore World Women's Championship...and now she turns on him?
Phil Blauer: Women. I could have told you that.
(Zack Daniels is back up and threatening Anjanette. She backs into the corner, and Daniels snatches the cane out of her hands. He brandishes it and she cowers underneath him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus slides into the ring with a chair and clubs him in the head!
(The audience pops at the sound of the chair cracking Daniels' skull. Sexy Anjanette Turner pulls Zack Daniels up, but he's out on his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus winds back and cracks Zack Daniels in the head with that chair again!!
Phil Blauer: Where is this coming from??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels has done something in his life to raise the ire of both Zack Daniels and the Hardkore World Women's Champion.
(Syberus walks out of the ring, back through the curtain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Let's get a camera back there and try and see why this happened!
(The camera opens on Syberus backstage with his World Light Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder. His partner in the Connection, Adrian Tanner, is stood behind him as Good Ol’ Barbecue Chicken holds a microphone.]
Good Ol’ B.C.: “Syberus…”
(Good Ol’ Barbecue Chicken chews on some… barbecue chicken.]
Good Ol’ B.C.: “What can you say to justify your attack on Zack Daniels after his match with Shootfighter?”
Syberus: “B.C., it’s the dawn of a new era. And into this bleak area step two men; the two chosen sons of professional Wrestling. Those two men are Syberus and Adrian Tanner; the Connection. Future Hardkore World Tag Team Champions. Now Zack Daniels did something very stupid, B.C. Zack Daniels got my attention. Sure, I could’ve let him off light like all the other minor talent I just beat once and forget about… but Zack Daniels is different. Zack Daniels is trying his very best to put a spanner in the works of the grand vision. And although his futile existence is like the buzzing of a fly to us… he must be stopped.”
“He must be crushed, and killed, then scraped off of the counter and tossed in the garbage, rolled up in the sports section. That’s why I’m putting my World Light Heavyweight Championship on the line against Zack Daniels in Los Angeles next month at The Staples Center. A bizarre punishment some might say, but I work in mysterious ways, you dig? You see, that won't be the only title on the line. I want that new belt you have as well. The West Coast title will be on the line. The winner will walk out with both titles over their shoulder. Title vs. Title, Zack Daniels vs. Syberus!”
Good Ol’ B.C.: “Fair enough, go get ‘em, Champ!”
(Good Ol’ B.C. guzzles on a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi Max, as Syberus shakes his head and walks off.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is the match for the Hardkore World Tag Team titles. This is a steel cage grudge match of the worst kind. The Un-Stable takes on a pair of wrestlers that have been thorns in their side for a while. "The Punisher" Dan Stein swerved The Un-Stable in Palm Springs and used them for his own means, before attacking them and joining up with their sworn enemy Cobryn. "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson interrupted the Hall of Fame speech on that same show, to accuse Andrew Karnage of using steroids.
Phil Blauer: That's going out on a limb.
(The America West Arena falls abruptly dark. Overhead, on the Hardkoretron, three symbols flash in and fade out slowly to the sound of a heartbeat:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<The Punisher skull>
(Over the sound system, “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie is heard starting to play. As the skull fades out, the arena lights up again, and standing there is "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson & “The Punisher” Dan Stein. The Punisher is raising his Peacemaker in the air over his head to the boos of the crowd. His manager, Domino, stands in front of Stein, and leads them to the ring area.]
Guillermo O'Bannon: A noise Stein's not used to. These loud boos.
Phil Blauer: You get used to em.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein and Jackson don't seem to even be on the same page. Rally Jackson didn't even arrive to the arena until recently, so they haven't even had time to talk. Domino has been busy managing her new client, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
Yolanda Ando: Rally Jackson wears a green capoeira gui with yellow trim with barefeet. Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Steel Cage Match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Domino; from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!! His partner, from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!!!"
(The crowd boos both men. Then the America West Arena goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III, Andrew Karnage, and Kilroy Evans at the top of the rampway. The Phoenix fans cheer wildly. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me...It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over arena as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. RHIII heads down to ring with the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt around his waist with a slow cocky strut with Andrew Karnage & Kilroy Evans following behind, slapping fans hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable looking to get some revenge on "The Punisher" Dan Stein for embarrassing them in Palm Springs. Karnage also wants to silence Rally Jackson for good.
Phil Blauer: That's not hard to do lately.
Yolanda Ando: Robert Hunglestien III is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. Andrew Karnage wears some black knee length basketball shorts with "AK-47" down the outsides of each leg in dark red. The Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow. Underneath, Hunglestien's robe he wears a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the III from the end of his name. He also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. His boots are black and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans. (Phoenix fans cheer) Featuring first from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner is from Cleveland, Ohio; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(The Phoenix fans pop for Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III. Ron Reid signals for the bell, and Domino, Kilroy Evans & Bill Kasal leave the ring. Hunglestien & Jackson agree to start the match off)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage and Rally Jackson starting it off, both some stiff workers. Rally Jackson follows him in with a kawada kick to the head! Another one to his face, then a hard one to his side. He drops Andrew Karnage headfirst on the mat with a head & arm brainbuster!!
(The crowd boos. Rally Jackson irish whips Karnage but he reverses it and sends Rally into the corner. Karnage smashes him with a few forearms smashes, while Kilroy Evans applauds on the outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally drops on his ass, and Andrew Karnage bootscrapes him a few times, then gives him a Facewash bootscrape! He picks Rally up and tosses him across the ring in an exploder '98!!
(Dan Stein yawns and steps through the cage doors. The America West Arena boos as he takes a confused Domino by the hand and leads her back to the locker room)
Phil Blauer: Now where's he going? Why don't I get to leave?? I got a hot date.
Yolanda Ando: No means no, Phil.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein leaving his partner Rally Jackson to the wolves in that cage! Inside, Andrew Karnage climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Rally Jackson punches him in the stomach. He pulls Karnage on to his shoulders then drops down in a musclebuster!!
(Rally Jackson turns around to tag in Dan Stein and sees just a cage wall. He turns around and watches him waving goodbye with a confused Domino in tow. Robert Hunglestien III & Andrew Karnage look over their shoulders at him, and Stein flips off Kilroy Evans at ringside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage tags in Robert Hunglestien III who sneaks up behind Rally and lifts him up in an atomic drop, but tosses him facefirst into the cage!!
(The crowd pops. Rally staggers back with a cut over his eye. Hunglestien gets behind Rally and takes him down to the mat with a waistlock. He applies a crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III links his fingers together and pulls him up by the head. Rally bleeds down onto Hunglestien's wrists. Ron Reid checks in to see if he taps out, but Jackson refuses. But what could be the point, with no partner?
Phil Blauer: Rally's gonna win this thing by himself.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Jackson into the ropes and takes him down with a hart attack clothesline! He pulls him up by the arm and pulls him in with a shortarm clothesline but Rally ducks underneath and turns it into a backdrop driver!!
(The fans boo. Rally steps over Hunglestien and bends him back into a cattle mutilation! Hunglestien shouts out in agony, while Tigerheart rocks back & forth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs in and boots Rally in the head to break the cattle mutilation.
Phil Blauer: Why not? Who's to stop him?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid!
Phil Blauer: Ha! That guy can't stop gingivitus.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III grab Rally Jackson and give him a double slingshot suplex!! Robert Hunglestien covers him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien tags in Andrew Karnage. Karnage hammerlocks Rally's arm behind his back and scoops him up. He runs into the center of the ring and powerslams him on to his chicken winged arm!
(A bleeding Rally Jackson clutches his elbow. Karnage flips Jackson up and slams him down into an alabama slammer!! He pulls Rally up by the dreads and irish whips him into the corner, Rally hops up onto the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson backflips into a kick to Karnage's face! Rally hops onto Karnage's back and wraps his legs around his waist. Jackson clamps down on his throat with a triangle choke!
Phil Blauer: Who's that coming down to the ring?
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's High Maintenance. What are they doing here?
(The America West Arena boos as Rally begins rolling Andrew Karnage around the ring in the triangle choke. Robert Hunglestien III runs into the ring and kneedrops Rally Jackson in the back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III helps his partner to his feet, and then irish whips Rally Jackson into the ropes. The Un-Stable double superkick Rally Jackson under the chin!
(Hunglestien steps through the ropes and allows Karnage to tag him in legally. Karnage steps through the ropes, and notices High Maintenance. He shakes the cage threateningly, but "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards waves like their beneath him. Robert Hunglestien III hooks Jackson in a cradle suplex, but drops him forward so his own knee goes into his stomach)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III hits Jackson with Paradise Hills! He pulls him up into a kataha-jime, then drops him backwards into a belly to back suplex!!
(The Phoenix crowd cheers Hunglestien. He irish whips Rally Jackson into the ropes and hits him with a flying kneelift! He whips him into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson blocks a backdrop and reverses with a canadian piledriver!! Wow!
(Crowd pops, and Rally Jackson steps over him with a dragon clutch. He pulls back on Hunglestien's head with an inverted facelock. Hunglestien tries to loosen his group with his fingers but to no avail)
Phil Blauer: High Maintenance continuing to watch this match. This sure thing for The Un-Stable just became a little less sure.
Guillermo O'Bannon: To be sure. Andrew Karnage comes in and once again breaks up Rally's submission hold with a double ax handle to the back of the head. Robert Hunglestien gets to his feet and pulls him up on to his shoulders with a fireman's carry. He drops him in an FU!
(Robert Hunglestien tags in Andrew Karnage. Karnage lifts Rally up onto his shoulders again for another fireman's carry. Robert Hunglestien III comes off the ropes with a spinning neckbreaker as Andrew Karnage drops him in a samoan drop)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rally Jackson kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage folds him like an accordian with a tiger suplex! He sits a bloody Rally Jackson on the top turnbuckle but Jackson hits him with a stiff punch to the chops. He inverted facelocks Andrew and hops off with an inverted tornado DDT!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien III stomps the back of Rally's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As Ron Reid forces Hunglestien out of the ring, Rally Jackson lifts Karnage up in a suplex and then piledrives him!!
Phil Blauer: Wait, where did High Maintenance go?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I dunno.
Phil Blauer: Where did the tag team title belts go?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Doesn't Ron De La O have em?
Phil Blauer: Unless they look like crab ice...no.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Did the former tag champions take their belts back without winning them? Wait, now Andrew Sinclair is walking down to the ring. What's he doing there?
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable caused him to lose to The Microshocker earlier this evening. With High Maintenance already stealing the belts, Sinclair is going to have to get creative on how to humiliate them even worse.
(Rally Jackson sets Andrew Karnage up for a styles clash, but Karnage blocks it with his arms. He does a push-up and slips his legs out of Rally's grip. He runs into the ropes and Rally turns around into a yakuza kick! Andrew Sinclair sneaks up behind Kilroy Evans and rams his face into the cage at ringside)
Phil Blauer: Andrew Sinclair grabs a steel chair and cracks Kilroy across the back with it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage lifts Rally Jackson up into a chokeslam and then drops him into a backbreaker!! Andrew Sinclair looks to help Rally win this match and tosses the chair over the cage, but Hunglestien intercepts it. Hunglestien bends the frame over Rally's skull!!
(Andrew Karnage irish whips a bleeding Rally Jackson into the ropes and flips him asshole over elbows with The Nightmare Lariot, while Robert Hunglestien takes him out with a shoulderblock to the backs of his knees!! The crowd cheers wildly while Andrew Karnage makes the pin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Three Car Pile-Up!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The America West Arena cheers and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays. Robert Hunglestien III and Andrew Karnage celebrate, and Kilroy Evans suddenly pops up)
Phil Blauer: Wait, Kilroy Evans suddenly doesn't look very hurt anymore.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans and Andrew Sinclair are...shaking hands?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 9 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(Andrew Sinclair opens up the steel cage door and congratulates Andrew Karnage and Robert Hunglestien III on their 2 on 1 victory. The fans cheer Sinclair now)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair, has been playing The Un-Stable's victim this whole time, then joins them?!
(Andrew Karnage asks Ron Reid where their title belts are. He asks Ron De La O who shrugs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III and Andrew Karnage are livid that De La O & Reid have lost their titles. Hunglestien is threatening to beat both to a bloody pulp, but Karnage is holding him back. Sinclair directs their attention over to a bloody and helpless Rally Jackson. They start laying in to him with kicks and stomps.
Phil Blauer: Listen to these fans cheering this. They are assholes. They'd go nuts if they saw the Rodney King tape.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair applies his Straightshot submission hold, while Andrew Karnage continues with the stomps!
(Kilroy Evans and Robert Hunglestien III continue to push Ron Reid around asking where their belts are)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now we have Syberus putting his Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship on the line against Blak Lung.
Phil Blauer: Syberus could be a little winded after the beatdown he put on "The Elegance of Excellance" in our earlier West Coast title match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, it's "The Excellence of Elegance" Zack Daniels.
Phil Blauer: I don't think so.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, check your index card. It says...I'll be damned.
Phil Blauer: I told you so.
("Caught in a Mosh" by Anthrax plays and the crowd boos. Blak Lung walks out with Judge Death. Judge Death waves his gavel around while Blak Lung sneers towards the audience, threatening them with his trusty rusty coat hanger)
Phil Blauer: Judge Death looking to redeem himself after his other two clients, Vampira & The Shootfighter lost their respective matches earlier this evening.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung an entirely different wrestler than Syberus is used to facing for that World Light Heavyweight title. He's closer to Abdullah the Butcher than Great Sasuke.
Phil Blauer: How so?
Yolanda Ando: Blak Lung wears army surpluss jungle boots, green BDU pants, and a white tank top undershirt. His receeding hair line is covered by scar tissue. His black, nappy hair is long and unkept with a patchy beard.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Judge Death; from Accra in The Republic of Ghana; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 190 pounds...BLAK LUNG!!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and jeers. Judge Death smacks away the garbage being hurled at the ring with his gavel. Then “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays and the crowd cheers. Syberus steps out through the curtain with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship title belt strapped around his waist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: As we said earlier, Syberus attacked Zack Daniels earlier tonight with a chair and challenged him to a title vs. title match next month in Los Angeles.
Phil Blauer: He may be getting a little ahead of himself. He has to survive the tetnus inducing Blak Lung.
Yolanda Ando: Syberus is wearing dark blue vinyl-look shorts with a circle of yellow stars on the back depicting the European Union. The Light Heavyweight title is around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from The Continent of Europe; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 232 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(The crowd cheers and Syberus raises his arms. He hands his belt over to Ron Reid when suddenly Blak Lung sneaks up behind him and cradles him. The referee signals for the bell)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung swings him around in to a hangman's neckbreaker! He steps through the ropes out to the apron, and slingshots himself over the top rope into an arabian press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base and Syberus reaches out and slaps Blak Lung right across the mouth!
(Blak Lung's eyes flash with fire and he comes at Syberus, but he catches Lung and flapjacks him facefirst on the mat! He shoots Blak Lung into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus gets him on the way back with a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung staggers up to his feet and gets hit in the guts with a spear! He follows it up with a shining wizard to the side of the head!
(The fans cheer for Syberus as he pumps them up. He irish whips Blak Lung into the ropes, but he comes back with a clothesline that Syberus ducks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus counters with a neckbreaker!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus pulls him up by the afro but he rams his knee into Syberus' stomach. He drives Syberus' head into the mat with a DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung climbs to the top turnbuckle, and somersaults into a leg drop but Syberus rolls out of the way!! Syberus german suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Blak Lung rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus runs him into the ropes with a bridging backroll press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Blak Lung kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus scoops Blak Lung up and falcon arrows him on his knee!! Bad Connection!
(The audience cheers as Syberus points into the camera and says, "Watch this, Zachery. You Canadian cunt." He single underhooks Blak Lung's limp arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus drives Blak Lung's head into the canvas with The Pure Confidence DDT!!! He pins a prone Blak Lung.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience cheers and “This Celluloid Dream” by AFI plays over the America West Arena. Syberus sits up off of Blak Lung and snatches his belt away from Ron Reid)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 4 minutes 34 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(The audience cheers as Syberus walks out with the belt over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus puts his belt on the line next month at The Staples Center but so is Zack Daniels. The winner will have two belts over that shoulder at the end of the night.
Phil Blauer: How so?
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Alley
7
Dark Match Jobber
Aug 23, 2005#37
(Alley is running past the camera chasing her pet tiger, Snuggles. She runs by again but stops to talk to the camera crew, who is scared to death.)
Alley: That’s right Tammy, I had you beat. Man, I guess I’m the one that got screwed in the end this time huh? Well, I guess that means that you’ll stay and I can kick your fat ass again. Oh, by the way, you can probably cure that 7 year ich by washing your cloths. How long have you been wearing that nasty shirt, do you need change for the laundry mat? Yuck!
(Snuggles comes around the corner and Alley notices.)
Alley: Come here you bad tiger! I’ll get you! (she turns back to the camera again.) While I’m catching my tiger, why don’t you visit a dry-cleaner. Gezz, at least take a swim with a bar of soap. Snuggles, no diner tonite for you, and no eating camera men!
(Alley oop.)
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Hardkore Jonnie Valentine
2,748
Legend
Aug 23, 2005#38
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is a match I've been waiting for all year. Death Gojira puts his Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship on the line against Lucifer Jones. Death Gojira had a hellacious match in Northern Ireland with Kilroy Evans. One has to wonder what he has left and what was left hanging on the razor wire in Ulster Hall.
Phil Blauer: I don't have to wonder anything. You're not the boss of me.
(The lights turn a deep shade of blood red, and the sound of white noise blasts over the PA)
Phil Blauer: This is a nice change. You notice that everyone has the lights go out in their entrances?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Slips & falls have increased by 40% this year. He had to fire Bloody Martyr & Hero to afford the insurance.
("Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 plays and Lucifer Jones bursts through the curtains. He starts looking out over the fans, and getting involved with the one's by the security railings; talking shit back to them and laughing at crippled children)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones really getting into it with one particular fan. He walks over to the guardrail and lunges at him.
Phil Blauer: It's Tuxedo Mask! How'd he get in here?
Guillermo O'Bannon: He bought a ticket.
Phil Blauer: No, I mean how did he fit in that seat? He must use butter.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer knocks Tux’s popcorn from his hand!
Phil Blauer: Wow, Tux is out like $17!
(As the two argue, Death Gojira runs out through the curtain up and sneaks up behind Lucifer Jones. He waistlocks Lucy and german suplexes him in the aisleway!! The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mike Peters signals for the bell and our match is underway! Death Gojira german suplexes him again in the aisle! He picks Jones up for a third one and drops the back of his head on the railing!!
(The crowd roars as Jones clutches his back. Gojira picks him up by the head and lifts him up in a vertical suplex. Before dropping him in a driver, Gojira locks in an upside down cobra clutch, and then drops him on the entrance ramp!! The audience goes wild, chanting "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Phil Blauer: I can't believe what I just saw!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira just dropped his back on the rampway!
Phil Blauer: No, Tuxedo Mask is eating that popcorn off the floor!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira orders a fan to relinquish his unfinished bottles of soda. Gojira takes the bottle and smashes it over the head of LuJo, tearing a horrible gash on his forehead!!
(The Phoenix fans cheer as LuJo begins to stagger around. Gojira takes another bottle and smashes it over his head again!! Lucifer Jones doubles forward but still stays on his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Frustrated, Gojira takes a folding chair and dents it over Jones' face!! Lucifer Jones drops and Gojira follows up with an arabian facebuster, hitting LuJo's face while embedding the glass to the back of his head!!
(The fans continue to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Death Gojira smiles and "Ree-ornks" at them. He pulls a bloody Lucifer Jones up to his feet and begins hammering him with punches)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones ducks under a right hand and lifts Goji up in an atomic drop, then slams him crotch first into the steel post!
(The cheers turn to jeers. Lucifer Jones wipes some blood out of his eyes and on to some fans on the front row. LuJo then drops him onto the steel guard railing with a german suplex)
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones paying it forward!
(Lucifer Jones looks like he's in a rage. He literally rips a section of the steel guard rail away from it's supports and spikes it into Gojira's face!! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones takes the guard railing, lays it across the apron and another section of railing so it forms a bridge. He then grabs a fan's bottle of Arizona iced tea and bashes it over Death Gojira's head!!
Phil Blauer: The glass is breaking like a Best of Stone Cold DVD!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones rolls Death Gojira back into the ring but hangs his head off of the apron. He takes a shard of glass and drags it across Gojira's forehead, making his blood flow too! Lucifer Jones climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, guillotine leg dropping Gojira's head hanging off the apron!!
(The America West Arena rocks with boos. Lucifer Jones pulls Death Gojira's head into his legs, but Gojira blocks the piledriver. He reverses with a backdrop into a piledriver behind him on the concrete floor!! Lucifer Jones' head leaves a blood smear where it hits)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira scoops Lucifer Jones up and then tombstone piledrives him on The America West Arena floor!! He rolls Jones back into the ring. Gojira hops up on to the middle of the top rope and then springboards off the ropes with an armdrag!
(Gojira irish whips Lucifer Jones and flapjacks him over the ropes and onto the guardrail bridge!! The crowd pops huge, as Lucifer Jones shakily stands up on the bridged ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Jones shakes the ropes, crotching him. Jones then runs down the apron, leaps up to the top turnbuckle, and in one smooth motion, super backdrop driver's Gojira off the top rope and headfirst into the guardrail bridge, the weight of both men warping the steel!!!
(The fans chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!!" as both men lie on the bent in half ladder. Lucifer Jones gets up and starts laying in to Death Gojira with some punches)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones braces himself against the apron and starts kicking Gojira in the stomach. He hauls off and slaps Death Gojira across the face!
(The Phoenix fans boo and Lucifer Jones spits on a blood drenched Gojira, then they boo louder. Jones cracks Gojira in the face with a closed fist. Lucifer rolls Gojira back into the ring and hops up onto the apron. He pulls himself up onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones springboards off the ropes into a tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones pulls him up into a front facelock. Death Gojira reverses it into a fireman's carry. Death Gojira spins around round in an airplane spin, then turns it into a Kumunga-Among-Ya spinebuster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira sits on Jones' back and straightjackets his hands around his own neck. Gojira pulls back on his hands with a crossarm camel clutch! Jones blood runs down his face on to his arms, as Death Gojira yanks back on his hands.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Lucifer Jones wants to submit, but Jones can barely answer with his own arms braced against his face. Gojira releases his hands, and scoops him up on to his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira drops into a reverse bulldog from a bodyslam! He keeps his legs hooked.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira butterflies Lucifer Jones arms and lifts him up into a double underhook brainbuster!!
(Death Gojira stomps around the ring "Skreee-ornk"ing. He scoops up Lucifer Jones again, and bodyslams him but Lucifer Jones inside cradles him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones has hold of the bottom rope for leverage!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr-(Death Gojira kicks out)
(The Phoenix fans breathe with a sigh of relief. Lucifer Jones hooks him into a cradle suplex and lifts him up in a hanging fisherman's suplex, but drops the back of his head onto Lucifer's knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones unravels some of Gojira's bandages and starts to choke him with it. Jones strangling him with his own mummy wrap!
(Lucifer Jones holding on tight to the makeshift noose, then he flings Gojira over the top rope and hangs him off the side! Lucifer Jones choking the life out of him and also kicking him in the back for added measure)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Horror of White Chapel pulls Gojira back up so his head is hanging off the back of the top rope. Jones inverted facelocks him, and hits a Stigmata brainbuster back into the ring!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones double underhooks Gojira's arms, and pulls him up over his shoulder into a canadian backbreaker. But the blood that he bled on to his arms allows Gojira's slip behind him onto his feet. He applies a chicken wing crossface to Lucifer Jones.
(Death Gojira ties up their legs and drives Lucifer Jones bloody face into the canvas with a leg sweep! He pulls Jones up and lifts him up in a suplex, and then drops his stomach on the rop rope, slumping him over)
Phil Blauer: Now I recognize Lucifer Jones. I had never seen him from that angle before. I think he still owes me my change.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira takes his head in a front facelock and springboards off the second rope, over the top rope, and drives Lucifer’s head into the steel steps with a DDT!!!
Phil Blauer: Lucifer Jones just forgot high school and most of math!
(The America West Arena rocks with "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira gets up and steps over Jones’ body and yells “Am I cartoon character now?!”)
Phil Blauer: Death Gojira taking him to task for some comments he made this month. I hope he doesn't do that to me.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira rolls out a garbage can from outside the ring.
Phil Blauer: From the way he's moving it, it looks like there's something heavy in it. It could be a gallon of milk or a puppy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I assume it's something heavy for him, not for you, Phil.
(Death Gojira pulls a bloody Lucifer Jones up and lifts him up onto his shoulder. He pitches him forward into a dominator on the upright garbage can!! The trash can is completely crushed, and Gojira pulls out a cinder block from the wrecked can. The crowd pops)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He had a cinder block in there! Death Gojira hops up on to the apron, then backflips off the second rope with an asai moonsault into a reverse DDT on the cement!!
(The crowd continues to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Death Gojira pulls Lucifer Jones onto the apron. He steps up on the apron with him, then pulls Jones onto his feet. Lucifer ducks under a Death Gojira punch and atomic drops his groin on the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones steps through the ropes back into the ring, and full nelsons the perched Death Gojira. He drops him backwards into a dragon suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Gojira is on his hands & knees and Lucifer Jones comes off the ropes with a sick soccer kick to the face! He grabs Gojira by the legs and wheelbarrows him up & over into a german suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira lifts his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls Gojira up and drops him down into a jumping sitdown ganso bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones hooks Gojira in a leg capture suplex, but Gojira brings his free leg up into Jones' groin. Death Gojira threads Jones' arm through his legs and pumphandles him up onto his shoulder. He drives Jones bloody skull through the canvas with a steiner screwdriver!!
(Tuxedo Mask runs down to the ring with Gojira's barbed wire wrapped wooden chair! He slides it into the ring, and Death Gojira hooks Lucifer Jones up into a cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira drops Lucifer Jones head on the barbed wire wrapped Goji Chair!!
(The fans cheer, as blood leaks out of Jones' head onto the canvas. Tuxedo Mask douses the Goji Chair down with some lighter fluid. He hands Gojira a zippo lighter and sets the chair ablaze)
Phil Blauer: We could be seeing Sniff the Borax here.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes. When LuJo comes back, DG hits him with a spinning side slam onto the burning Goji-chair!!!
(The fans are deafening with chants of "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr-(Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
(The Phoenix fans groan at the near fall. Lucifer Jones clutches the burned parts of his back. Death Gojira pulls Jones up and irish whips him into the ropes but Lucifer ducks under a clothesline)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones counters with an STO! Jones applies a front facelock on Gojira, and chicken wings his arm. He drops it into a neckbreaker, wrenching both Goji's arm and neck!! The Toxic Shock Drop!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones steps over Gojira and applies a buffalo sleeper camel clutch that he calls The Bloke Choke! He pulls back on the head & arm of Death Gojira as Mike Peters pleading with him to tap out before he bleeds to death!
Phil Blauer: That could go for both of them.
(The audience claps faster & faster for Gojira to break out of The Bloke Choke. Jones releases his arms and then jumps onto the small of Gojira's back. Jones pulls Gojira up into an inverted facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones pulls him up into a Stigmata brainbuster but Gojira falls behind him and rams his head into the turnbuckles! Gojira pulls his Jones' head into his legs and straightjackets his arms. He uses his own arms to pull him up by his wrists into a tigerdriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask rolls the cinder block into the ring and the audience buzzes with anticipation.
Phil Blauer: Boy, this crowd sure wants to see Lucifer Jones' brains spilled out. I'm ordering psychological profiles of everyone in this arena.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira crotches Lucifer Jones on the top turnbuckle. Gojira steps up on to the second turnbuckle and butterflies Jones' arms. Gojira double underhook DDTs Jones' head on the cinder block!!!
(The fans are leaping up & down in celebration, chanting "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Gojira drapes a limp arm over him)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lucifer Jones gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira irish whips Jones, but Lucifer reverses it and sends him into the ropes. Lucifer Jones picks him up and drops an emerald frosion brainbuster on the cinder block!!!
(The America West Arena rocks with boos, both men lie next to one another. Bleeding buckets. Mike Peters starts in on the count)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...
Referee Mike Peters: 2...
(Fans chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Referee Mike Peters: 3...
Referee Mike Peters: 4...
Referee Mike Peters: 5...
(Lucifer Jones stirs first and turns over on his side, bleeding down his tattooed chest)
Referee Mike Peters: 6...
Referee Mike Peters: 7...
(Death Gojira sits up a little as the crowd continues to chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!")
Referee Mike Peters: 8...
Referee Mike Peters: 9...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is the first on his feet and staggers over to Death Gojira. He slaps him right across the face!
(The crowd boos, and Jones follows it right up with a big fat loogie on Gojira's bloody body. He pulls Jones up into a butterfly position, then lifts him up onto his shoulder in a double underhook canadian backbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones drills Gojira's head into the mat with a DeathDriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Death Gojira kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones applies a cobra clutch, then lifts him up in the air, but Gojira slips out of it into an armdrag! Death Gojira scoops Lucifer Jones up and snow plows his head on the smashed Goji Chair!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts Lucifer Jones up in a hanging suplex, but then swings it around into an ace crusher!
(Death Gojira pulls the smashed metal trash can into the ring and positions Jones in front of it. He hooks him in a cradle suplex position)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira lifts him up into a fisherman's suplex but then turns it into a tigerdriver on the trash can!!
(The fans chant "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA" Death Gojira hooks Lucifer Jones' leg and Peters slides in for the count)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira gets under Jones' legs and lifts him up into an electric chair. He drops the back of LuJo's head on the cinder block with an ocean cyclone suplex!!!
(The room is deafending with chants of "GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!! GO-JI-RA!!" Tuxedo Mask searches under the ring and retrieves another Goji-Chair)
Phil Blauer: Where are they getting these things from? Jonnie should go under that thing with a metal detector before the show.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tuxedo Mask and Death Gojira lights that chair up again! Lucifer Jones irish whips Death Gojira into the turnbuckles so hard that he flips upside down!
(The crowd cheers Lucifer Jones' predictament. Death Gojira climbs the ropes and stands on the second turnbuckle and grabs Jones' legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Death Gojira pulls him up into a wheelbarrow but Jones rolls up into bulldog on the flaming chair!!!
(The fans chant "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Jones snatches the flaming ladder from underneath Gojira, as spasms around the mat in unimaginable pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is brandishing that flaming chair in his hand...
Phil Blauer: Who are these guys??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two large gentleman are in the ring right now with those red masks on. The mask is Lucifer Jones' father's but they don't look very fatherly at him right now. One of em takes a baseball bat to the back of Jones' head!!
(The fans rejoice at Lucifer Jones getting his. The masked men help a burned and bloody Death Gojira to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gojira's so out of it, he thinks it's Tux and covers Lucifer Jones!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (One of the masked men club Gojira on the back of the head with the baseball bat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's going on here?
Phil Blauer: You're asking me? I barely know where to sit!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The masked men roll Lucifer Jones over on top of Death Gojira!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The fans boo and rain garbage and debris down on the ring, as "Homicidal" by Bad Luck 13 plays. The two masked men quickly escape, Jones "wakes" up and looks shocked that he just won, but then see's the masked men running down the aisle towards the back, and Jones mouths "What the fuck!?")
"Wild" Bill Kasal: At 16 minutes 20 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...LUCIFER JONES!!!"
(Lucifer Jones snatches the Hardkore America Heavyweight title belt from Mike Peters and starts limping after the masked men)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones seemingly chasing after the men who just handed him the Hardkore America championship! Death Gojira is outside the ring tearing it apart!
(The fans are booing, and Gojira tosses the steel ringsteps into the ring. Mike Peters runs for cover as Eerie Von & Tuxedo Mask try and calm him down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: And now fans we have a match that is sure to be a classic. At Hardkore Helloween 2004, Big Bad Bill accomplished the impossible and made Cobryn submit, winning one of the biggest upsets in wrestling history.
Phil Blauer: Would you rank that up there with 1-2-3 Kid vs. Razor Ramon?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'd put that up there with the angle they stole that from, Eddie Gilbert vs. Shane Douglas in UWF. Since that match last October, Big Bad Bill has tore threw the Hardkore World ranks, winning the tournament for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship from two time Champion Cyrus Williams. But now he has his biggest challenge of his young reign, Cobryn.
("No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the Phoenix crowd boos. After a few moments, Cobryn steps out with a long black silk robe that trails behind him a good four feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn has climbed every mountain there is to climb. He's won the World Championship in Ring Syndicate, UWA, and Ascendent Wrestling. But Hardkore World, a world championship that is 18 years old, a title that has been fought over by some of the greatest wrestlers this sport has ever seen, is still a goal he has not achieved. He hopes to not only win the belt that has been just out of reach his entire career here tonight, but also erase his one loss of his career.
Phil Blauer: Wow, good intro.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Thanks, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Now mine seems sort of silly.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm sure it's good. Go ahead.
Phil Blauer: Nah...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Come on, sir.
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, come on, Phil.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Actually, with the women's fiveway match going to a time limit draw, we are running a little heavy...
Phil Blauer: Ok! (clears his throat) "Cobryn punches retards. Big Bad Bill sounds like a {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore}'s imaginary friend. I think Bill will beat Cobryn to get justice for the puncheded retards."
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Wow.
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, I liked that one much better than Guillermo's.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yeah!
Yolanda Ando: Let me get my bearings here, after being swept off my feet by Phil's beatuiful allocution. Cobryn wears black wrestling boots with white taped fist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is the Main Event of the evening. (The crowd applauds) It is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! (Applause gets louder) Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, hailing from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds...COBRYN!!!"
(The America West Arena boos, and Cobryn takes a moment to soak in it, then goes back to jogging in place to warm up. Then "Headless Children" by WASP begins. Smoke fills the entrance ramp and black lights cause a purplish glow as they flicker in the background. When the main guitar riff hits, the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Big Bad Bill appears through the smoke and walk towards the ring. He proudly slaps his six man title belt over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill looking down the aisle at Cobryn with a look, I've never seen any of Cobryn's opponents with. A confidence that comes from being the only man to not only defeat him but injure him with one of his lethal submissions.
Phil Blauer: An arm injury that still nags him to this day. I doubt Big Bad Bill will go very long before he goes right back to it.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. A black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves, along with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship belt proudly strapped around his waist. The Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belt is slung over his shoulder
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPION & HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...BIG BAD BILL!!!"
(The America West Arena gives him a huge ovation. Ron Reid holds the Hardkore World Heavyweight title belt over his head, and then signals for the bell. Big Bad Bill and Cobryn circle one another)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn catches Big Bad Bill in the jaw with a jab. He snaps a few more to Bill's chin. Bill returns with a hard punch of his own, a second one backs Cobryn up. Cobryn counters with a large haymaker punch!
(Big Bad Bill staggers, and then Cobryn hits him with a second one, and a third. He lines him up for a pointed elbow smash which leaves Bill enough time for a punch to the arm pit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill slugs Cobryn in the chest, then follows with a combi-punch to his jaw.
Phil Blauer: It's a slugfest!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pokes Bill in the eye, and then bell claps his head with his forearms. He lifts Bill up in a suplex then drops his ankles on the top rope, but Bill blocks the slingshot by wrapping his feet around the rope.
(Cobryn releases Bill and then drops a pointed elbow to the back of Bill's head. Cobryn pulls Bill up and goes for his hip toss powerbomb, but Triple B rolls with the motion, capturing Coby’s head with his legs, and then delivers a hurricanrana!! The crowd applauds)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Cobryn into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a yakuza kick! Bill grabs the second ropes and rams his shoulder into Cobryn's stomach several times.
(Big Bad Bill whacks Cobryn across the chest with a karate chop. The America West Arena "Wooooo"s. Four more chops and four more woooos. Cobryn can't take the pain anymore and drops to his knees, begging Bill for mercy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill laughs at a pitiful looking Cobryn, and Cobryn hits him low! Cobryn pulls him by the waistline of his pants, and rams him shoulderfirst into the cornerpost!
Phil Blauer: Cobryn is picking his spots.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn half nelsons Bent Over Bill and drops him backwards into a tigerplex '85!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Cobryn applies a side headlock on Bill before he can get to his feet. Bill tries to push him off but Cobryn has it in snug. Cobryn grinds Big Bad Bill's head as hard as he can)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and straightjackets his arms, aztec suplex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Big Bad Bill gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and applies a rear naked choke! Cobryn falls back to the mat with Bill on top of him, clamping down on his windpipe.
(Bill reaches back and grabs Cobryn's nuts. Cobryn yelps and releases the rear naked choke. Before he can fully get up, Bill grabs two handfuls of hair and rams his face into the mat with an X factor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill lifts Cobryn up for a back suplex, then reverse it into a chokeslam! He applies an armbar to the arm he broke back in October. Cobryn looks a little scared.
Phil Blauer: I know that look. It's the look of "Will he break my arm again?" I get that same look whenever Bill Cosby comes in the room.
(Bill applies a claw to the pressure point to the back of Cobryn's neck. Ron Reid crouches down to check and see if he taps out. He then spins around on Cobryn's back and applies a reverse hammerlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill wrenches up on Cobryn's arm & shoulderblade while maintaining the nerve hold on the back of his neck.
Phil Blauer: What is that smell? Is Ron Reid crouching?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill works down the arm of Cobryn to possibly keep him from using The Answer.
Phil Blauer: Get out of his head O'Bannon!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill releases the hammerlock and pulls Cobryn up into a human torture rack.
Phil Blauer: Could we be seeing Cross the “T” and dot the “I”??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn swings around into a Cobrynarana!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Big Bad Bill's head into his legs, and flips him over his shoulder into a gory special. Cobryn lets go of his arms, letting him drop forward into a facefirst slam!!
(The Phoenix crowd boos. Cobryn sits on Bill's back and wraps his arms around his head with an old skool sleeper and sits back into a camel clutch. Cobryn clamps down on his face & temple and rocks back on Bill's head & neck. Reid checks in to see Bill wants to submit)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulling back on Bill's back with The Cobryn Clutch! Bill isn't tapping, so Cobryn stands up and stomps him a few times. Cobryn presses Big Bad Bill over his head!
(The audience jeers Cobryn who attempts to show off his raw power. He then drops him into a stone cold stunner!! Cobryn makes the cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn waistlocks Big Bad Bill and german suplexes him! He pulls him back up and hits him with a second german! Cobryn pulls a groggy Triple B up and drops him with a third consecutive german suplex and bridges this one!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
(Cobyn lifts Big Bad Bill into an atomic drop and then sits him on top turnbuckle. He hooks Bill's feet underneath the top rope, Cobryn then goes to the outside and leans backwards on the steps while yanking the Bill's arms back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn forcing Big Bad Bill's back against the ringpost. But Big Bad Bill slips his arms away and powers out of Florida Surfing!
(Cobryn's eyes bug out at the power of Big Bad Bill. Cobryn gives the ring a "Who needs ya" and walks away. The fans boo)
Phil Blauer: Cobryn walking away from the ring!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn used to having the luxury of being able to walk away from the ring, but not tonight. Big Bad Bill not having it and using the time to get some of his strength back.
(After arguing with Ron Reid, Cobryn rolls back into the ring and is caught with an axe kick to the back of his head! Big Bad Bill grabs him by the chin with a standing reverse chinlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drops Cobryn with a side effect! He makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill gets on top of Cobryn with a crossface chicken wing on the mat. Bill going to the arm like Vince goes the race card, and wrenches up on his wrist. He clamps his arm down against Cobryn's esophogus.
(Bill jams some knees into Cobryn's ribcage while applying pressure to his shoulder & elbow with the crossface chicken wing. He finally releases it and pulls Cobryn's arm out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B kneedrops the back of Cobryn's elbow. Bill side steps Cobryn and grabs his arms from behind in a reverse hammerlock. The fans leap to their feet! He then pushes his Cobryn forward, while placing his feet in front of his...but before Bill has a chance to lock The Dislocator on, Cobryn raises his leg backwards in a low blow!
(The audience boos, as Bill tips over clutching his groin. Cobryn shakes some feeling back into his arm. He runs and measures Bill with a double kneelift to the face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn butterflies Bill's arms and then lifts him up in a double underhook facedriver!! Cobryn hangs on to his double underhooked arms and then liffts him a second time with a michinoku driver I!! He pins the champ with both feet on the ropes!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn pulls Bill's head into his legs, then lifts him up on his shoulder and runs to the center of the ring with a stiff ligerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Bill into the ropes and tiltawhirls him but Bill steps through and delivers an airplane pin; reminicent of a downsloping "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. He drops Cobryn in the center of the ring and applies a jujigatame to his aching arm!
(The audience pops and chants "BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!! BREAK IT OFF!!" Cobryn yells at them to shut up, and then covers his face in pain. Big Bad Bill yanks up on his whammybarred arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill applying more pressure to that hurt wing of Cobryn, then lays it out in front of him. Bill legdrops the back of his elbow! He hiptosses Cobryn across the ring. Bill comes at him with yakuza kick but Cobryn catches the leg, and dumps him over in a leg capture suplex!
(The America West Arena boos Cobryn as he shakes some blood back into his arm. He pulls Big Bad Bill up by the arm, and yanks him in for a shortarm clothesline)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn front waistlocks Bill, but Bill forearm smashes his way out of the northern lights suplex, and counters with a northern lights bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill runs into the ropes then tumbles towards Cobryn and pushes off the floor into a dropkick to his chest!
(Big Bad Bill applies a figure four leglock where he sits on Cobryn's legs! Cobryn sits up and shreiks in pain. He reaches his arm over Triple B's head and pulls downwards over his throat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn countering the Jailhouse Lock! Every ounce of pressure Bill puts on Cobryn's legs, is also helping Cobryn choke him out. Big Bad Bill releases the figure four, and Cobryn limps behind him, catching his arms in a straightjacket. Cobryn rising star suplexes Big Bad Bill with no bridge!!
(The Phoenix fans boo. Cobryn drags Bill over to the corner and then climbs up to the second turnbuckle. He inverted facelocks Bill and then somersaults over into a diamond dust)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn irish whips Bill into the ropes, but Bill comes back with a flying elbow! He spins around into a wheelkick to Cobryn's chin that knocks him back into the ropes, and then a second one that knocks him to the mat.
(Bill side steps Cobryn and applies a double chicken wing. He then pushes Cobryn forward, while placing his feet in front of him, so that my he bends at a ninety-degree angle at the waist. Bill then slides his arms up into his elbows and pushes down on his back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Before Big Bad Bill can lock his wrists, Cobryn stands up and throws his head backwards into Bill's face! Cobryn presses Bill over his head and tosses him onto the steel steps on the floor!!!
(The audience boos and jeers as Bill clutches his elbow where it hit the hard steel. Cobryn steps through the ropes and hops down to the floor. He steps up onto the top of stairwell and pulls Bill's head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn piledrives Big Bad Bill on the steel steps!!
(The sound echoes throughout the America West Arena. Bill lies across the steps with blood streaming down his face. Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up on his shoulders into an electric chair)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn flips Bill over into a gory special and then pitches his neck onto the guardrail!!
(Bill clutches his throat, with his eyes bugging out of their sockets. He chokes, bleeds and coughs into the lap of a fan in the front row. Cobryn grabs two handfuls of Bill's hair and pulls him over the railing. He fireman's carries Bill onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Bill up into a hanging suplex and then jackhammers him off the apron onto the America West Arena floor!!!
(The crowd pops and chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Big Bad Bill rolls around the floor, clutching the small of his back. Cobryn gets up and lifts Bill up into a crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill slips out of Cobryn's grasp and catches his head on the way down with a huracanrana on the concrete!!
(The Phoenix crowd comes alive! Big Bad Bill wipes some blood out of his eyes and waits for Cobryn to pull himself to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B spears Cobryn into the guardrail!! Bill steps up on Cobryn's knee and whacks him upside the head with a shining wizard that smacks his face into the railing!
(Cobryn staggers over to Ron De La O's timekeeper's table and grabs the ringbell. He swings at Bill but Bill ducks and punches him in the stomach. He snatches the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill smashes Cobryn in the head with the bell! He rolls Cobryn into the ring, with some blood coloring his blonde hair pink. Big Bad Bill climbs to the top turnbuckle, and hops off, ramming the timekeeper's bell into Cobryn's throat!!
(Cobryn sits up, bleeding down his face, and clutching his throat. The audience cheers wildly, chanting "BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!! BILL!!" Bill lays Cobryn down and makes the pin)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Cobryn gets his foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill goes underneath the ring and pulls out that cooler of his.
Phil Blauer: I hope there's pudding cups.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He tosses it in the ring and opens it up...SPIDERS!!
Phil Blauer: Save me Allah, I'm too cute to die!
(DOZENS of spiders come running out of the cooler all over the ring. Ron Reid climbs to the top turnbuckle to escape them. A mad panic engulfs the bottom level of the America West Arena as they run for the hills from the impending arachnids. Guillermo, Yolanda, and Phil jumps up on their table)
Phil Blauer: (jumps into Guillermo's arms) Keep me safe my Irish Mexican protector!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Get off me, Phil!!
(Cobryn sits up and three spiders crawl over his face. He gets a severe case of the willies, and knocks them off. He runs around wiping off his face, trying to get all the spider cooties off of him. He walks right into another Dis-Locator)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill has half of The Dislocator locked on when Cobryn takes his free arm and bulldogs Big Bad Bill!!
Yolanda Ando: What's that shaking the table.
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's Phil.
Yolanda Ando: I guess that also explains the puddles.
Phil Blauer: I knocked over my sprite! How do we know your water didn't break, fat girl?
Yolanda Ando: You wanna live with the spiders, Phil?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn gets behind Bill and hooks his leg into a sambo suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill in an inverted facelock and drops him in The Salty, Salty Tears of Big Bad Bill facefirst powerbomb!!
(Bill's face makes a blood smear against the canvas. Cobryn fireman's carries Bill up on his shoulders and then sits him on the top turnbuckle. He hooks his feet under the ropes, then goes to the outside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn attempts some Florida Surfing again! He pulls back on his arms forcing the ringpost into the small of Bill's back! Cobryn braces his feet against the steel steps and gives another good yank on his arms.
(The live audience boos. Blood runs up Bill's upside down face into a pool on the steps. Ron Reid pleads with Cobryn to get back in the ring)
Phil Blauer: No powering out of this one. A jackhammer from the apron will do that to you.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn places his boot against the ringpost and pulls back on Bill's legs a few more times. Cobryn steps back into the ring and spinning spinebusters Bill from off the top turnbuckle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
(Cobryn sits up and applauds for himself, drawing the ire of the fans. He walks over to the turnbuckle, and undoes the padding)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill comes from behind and rams Cobryn's face into the exposed steel turnbuckle hook!! He grabs two handfuls of Cobryn's now pink stained hair and monkey flips him across the ring!
(Cobryn lands hard on his back and begs off. Big Bad Bill doesn't fall for it this time, and jams his fingers into Cobryn's throat with a martial arts strike. Cobryn clutch his windpipe, and Bill pulls his head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill powerbombs Cobryn on the top rope and then bounces him into the center of the ring with a slingshot powerbomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Triple B irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana but Cobryn catches his legs and powerbombs him!!
(Triple B lands hard on the mat, but is able to deliver a double kick to Cobryn's belly. Big Bad Bill goes behind him and applies a reverse waistlock, heimliching Cobryn's stomach so he can't get any new air)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn back elbows Big Bad Bill in the face to break The Heimleich Maneuver. He double underhooks his arms and lifts Big Bad Bill up into a stalling tigerdriver '91 he calls The Tsunami '05!!
Phil Blauer: Hey! He's cross dating!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up into a crucifix, but Bill kicks off of his shoulders and backflips in front of Cobryn!
(The audience applauds Big Bad Bill's agility and Cobryn pulls him in by the arm with a shortarm clothesline! The applause gets louder. Big Bad Bill lifts him up in a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill drops him into a steiner screwdriver!! He makes the cover on the bloody Cobryn!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn lifts his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill irish whips Cobryn into the turnbuckles and follows him in, hopping on the middle of the second rope. He hops backwards on to the stumbling Cobryn, but Cobryn reverses the DDT into a spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up on his shoulders in a human torture rack. He bends Bill's spine against his powerful shoulders, as Bill's arms fall limply to his sides.
(Ron Reid tests Bill's arm, but Bill holds it up. Cobryn shakes his head in frustration and then drops back in a facefirst samoan drop! He grabs him by the arms and straightjacket german suplexes him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill gets his arm free)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn lifts Bill in a vertical suplex and drops his feet on the top rope into a slingshot suplex!
(Cobryn pulls Big Bad Bill up and wraps his arms up into The Dis-Locator! Big Bad Bill cries out in pain, as Cobryn pushed up on his reverse hammerlocked arms. Blood drips down from Bill's face into a pool on the mat)
Phil Blauer: I don't know if those screams of pain are of anguish or humiliation of being put in his own move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill mule kicks Cobryn in the groin and somersaults forward. He three quarter nelsons Cobryn and runs up the turnbuckles into an acid drop!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill atomic drops Cobryn on the top turnbuckles, facing the audience. He climbs to the second rope and stands on the middle turnbuckle, lifting Cobryn on his shoulders with a human torture rack. He then hops off into a Ki Krusher powerbomb off the second turnbuckle!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill climbs to the top rope, but Cobryn catches him up there. Bill responds with some double axe handles Coby and then pedigrees him from the top turnbuckle!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(The crowd continues to cheer wildly and Triple B goes back up to the top and and spins into a pheonix splash)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A Phoenix splash! How Apra pro!
Phil Blauer: Whosy Whatsit?
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Cobryn kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill side steps Cobryn and grabs his arms from behind in a reverse double chicken wing. He then pushes his Cobryn forward into The Dis-Locator!
(The Phoenix fans leap to their feet, cheering Big Bad Bill's submission finisher. But Bill is so blood drenched that Cobryn is able to get an arm free and hits a stunner! The cheers turn to boos of frustration)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn scoops him up, then drops his right hand down from Bill’s thigh to his right knee, and hooks it before lifting up his own left leg and dropping down and to his left, spiking Bill down in The Question!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn chicken wings Big Bad Bill's arm that he hit on those steps behind him. He crossfaces Bill's throat and then drops him on the back of his head with a millenium suplex!!
(Cobryn lifts Big Bad Bill up into another crucifix and this time drops him then catches him with a DDT on the way down!! The audience gasps)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Big Bad Bill kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn inverted facelock and lifts Big Bad Bill up in the air and then drops...The Answer!!!
(Suddenly two men dressed as ninjas come storming into the ring. The audience buzzes with confusion)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two ninjas have rushed the ring!
Phil Blauer: What the hell is this; I ordered take-out an hour ago. It’s free now, right?
(One of the ninjas starts in with some martial arts kicks to Cobryn, and the fans let out an earsplitting pop as a blood drenched Cobryn tries to defend himself in vain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The larger ninja grabs a shell shocked Cobryn and chokeslams him into the ground!! There’s something familiar about this duo.
Phil Blauer: They're both wearing masks, how can you tell?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley and "The Punisher" Dan Stein are running down to the ring to help out their liege! The ninjas are ready for him with some savatte kicks and chops, while the larger one hiptosses Harley across the ring!
(The America West Arena rocks as the match hits an exciting new high. One ninja runs at "The Punisher" Dan Stein and catches him with a tornado DDT! Stein's head bounces off of the canvas and then rolls to his side)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Big Bad Bill cracks a bloody Cobryn in the skull with a discus punch and then a Flatline punch to his underarm! Wait, now who's this?
(A bloody & burned Lucifer Jones runs out from the curtain with the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship belt wrapped around his waist. He has a barbed wire wrapped sledgehammer in his hand)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones coming down to the ring with a barbed wire wrapped sledgehammer.
Phil Blauer: I think he suspects those ninjas of interfering in his Hardkore America title match with Gojira.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You mean winning it for him?
Phil Blauer: Ninjas always catch flack for everything. That's why I left The Order.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley holds Big Bad Bill in a full nelson, while "The Punisher" Dan Stein goes to work on the World Champ's ribs! Cobryn slugs the larger ninja in the face and goes to hold his mask for a second punch, but it comes off...it's Stan "The Tank!! Cobryn has a look of total shock on his face as Stan irish whips him into the ropes, and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam! The other ninja decides the jig is up and takes off his mask too...it's Dracon Xanathos! SWAT's Legion X has invaded Hardkore America!!
(The audience roars! Lucifer Jones is finally in the ring and stands behind Stein, who is still working on a trapped Big Bad Bill. Jones calling his shot and winds back with the sledgehammer. He smashes Big Bad Bill in the face instead!! Bill crumples to the mat, with blood streaming from his face)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What?? Why is Lucifer Jones helping out "The Punisher" Dan Stein and Cobryn? Cobryn springs into action, locking an out-on-his-feet Bill in an inverted facelock. Cobryn locks in a double chicken wing, linking hands under Bill's back. He lifts Big Bad Bill up and drops him in The Answer 2005!!!
(Cobryn drops on top of Big Bad Bill and makes the cover. Dracon Xanathos runs over to break up the pin)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A woman is in the ring! She clubs Xanathos in the back of the head with a lead pipe to the back of the head!!
Phil Blauer: It's "Sexy" Anj!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience boos, as "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays over the public address system. Cobryn rolls off of a bloody Big Bad Bill. Stan Wilson drags Bill and Xanathos out of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: We have a new Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion!! The first since 2002!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 24 minutes 21 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!!!"
(Dan Stein takes the jewel encrusted Hardkore World Heavyweight title belt and hands it to a bloody, exhausted Cobryn. He snatches it and clutches it to his chest on his knees, tears stream from his cheeks. Lucifer Jones walks into the center of the ring, the Hardkore America Heavyweight Title hanging off his shoulder, and he slaps it hard, smiling a mouth full of blood stained gold teeth. The arena is rocked with boo's. Lucifer ducks an MGD bottle)
Phil Blauer: Guillermo!
Guillermo O'Bannon: What? I was finished. (burp)
LuJo: Welly, welly, welly well...look at have we have here. Ladies and gents, you're looking at the culmination of 3000 years of superb evolutionary genetic breeding and athletic skill.
Oh yeah, and Johnny Lee Harley.
But what we have here you lousy bastards, what we have here is the rebirth of the greatest bloody stable of wrestlers known to mankind! A group comprised of the FINEST fucking wrestlers to EVER grace Hardkore World's squared circle. We literally DEFINE the bloody word "heel". That's right, you daft pricks, spell it out for us!
(Cobryn leans back into a corner trying to compose himself and smiles while Lucifer Jones and Stein both lean over the ropes and scream out the letters.]
LuJo & DS:
H!
E!
E!
L!
(The crowd starts chanting "LOOOOOOO-CY, LOOOOOO-CY, LOOOOO-CY...." in mocking tones and Lucifer Jones gets irate and points at the crowd, "Punisher" Dan Stein holding him back.]
LuJo: YOU SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!!! Show your new Heavyweight champion the respect I deserve!
(At this point, the crowd is booing so loudly you can't even hear Jones over the microphone. He jumps up to the top turnbuckle and spits into the crowd, holding up the belt high in the air.]
LuJo: Consider that a gift from me to you, you pricks.
(He jumps down and regains his composure.]
LuJo: Now, as I was saying, this current incarnation of crazy fucks are quite possibly the most dominant and devious group ever devised. Seriously, mates...look who the fuck is standing before you. One one side, we have the brilliance and superior ring savvy that IS....TEH COBRYN!!!1!1! Ric Flair, take some notes you crusty old shitbag, because your reign as the dirtiest player in the game was taken away the moment Cobryn was born.
And then there's this man...
(He slaps Dan Stein on the chest and drapes his arm around his shoulders.]
LuJo: ...the only wrestler EVER in this business to put the fear of god into me. The only man in this business to make me, ME of all people, the rudest toughest most blood thirsty son of bitch to come out of Britannia, he made Lucifer Jones actually think twice about going toe to toe with him. He cares not for winning, nor for gold ladies and gentlemen. He care only about one thing, and for THAT, I give him the upmost respect. He just want's to kick YOUR ass! "Punisher" Dan Stein!
(The crowd boo's even louder as Jones shakes his hand and hands him the mic. Stein grabs the mic, as Domino flanks him.]
DS: Hey there, you stupid Phoenix sheep. I’d like to tell you a sad, sad story.
(Stein flips off the crowd. Someone tosses a beer at Stein, which Stein swats away., unfazed.]
DS: A couple of years ago, I was working my way up the ranks of Ring Syndicate, chewing up every opponent in front of me. I crushed the world champion in the match before he was crowned, and all I had to do was go through one man to get back to him, and that was this man over here.
(Stein points at Cobryn. Cobryn smiles. Honest men shudder.]
DS: But that day came, and the Punisher had Cobryn beaten. But lo and behold, a gaggle of groupies showed up and spoiled the Punisher’s day, and I suffered the first clean pin in nearly 2 years. It was a defining moment.
(The crowd keeps throwing beers at Stein.]
DS: Fast forward to 5 months ago. I single out this man, to my right. Why? Only the Punisher really knows, but this I can tell you: no man has ever been pummeled, beaten, threatened, and nearly killed more in the past several weeks than Lucifer Jones. And again, the Punisher had this man beaten. But somehow, he gets the win on the Punisher. And not only does he live, but he manages to survive the cage, beat the Punisher at his own game, then drop an Irish shower on me.
(Hardkore crowd: STEIN GOT PISSED ON! *CLAPCLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP* STEIN GOT PISSED ON! *CLAPCLAP*CLAPCLAPCLAP* Unfazed, Stein flips the Peacemaker at points at Jones’ neck. Jones looks a little nervous but does not flinch.]
DS: That may be the single most infuriating thing I have ever had done to me. It was bad enough to lose, but like that? In the hospital that night, the Punisher had a Reckoning of his own. I realized that Cobryn had cheated to beat the Punisher, but it was my fault for letting him get away with it. And I realized that Lucifer Jones was a problem I could not solve because he is a man who simply refused to die. And I got to thinking, were they core of the problem?
(Stein brings down the Peacemaker. Jones relaxes.]
DS: And I realized, no…they’re not. They simply outsmarted me, both times, and realistically, the only two that mattered. And in that, I realized these men were not my enemies, they were men to be talked into an alliance, because that kind of deviousness is what conquers nations. But that night, I finally realized the core of the problem. It was…
(Stein flips the Peacemaker at Jones…
DS: …YOU!!
(…but quickly flips it to Domino, and holds it to her neck instead. The crowd, booing Stein, sits stunned. A few pieces of trash begin being tossed.]
DS: That’s right. It sure as hell wasn’t my fault these things happened- they’re yours. For 8 years, you have told me to act a certain way, to wrestle a certain way, to do this, to do that. For what? So I can get pissed on?! I’ve had enough of this crap. Instead of helping me, you’ve done nothing but put a leash on me. From now on, the leash is off. I will do things my way. More violent. Less restrained. More vicious. Less fan-friendly. And you know, screw the fans anyway. They haven’t ever done shit for me except get in my way.
(Domino gets an angry look. The crowd comes unhinged with boos so loud no one can hear anything else, beers flying again, but quiets as Domino rips the mic from Stein's hand.]
DOM: You won’t talk to me anymore, and now you make me go down and help someone else tonight without any reason why. You would rather team up with a rapist and Hardkore’s biggest cheater than me? I can’t take this anymore. I’ve had it. I’m leaving, Dan. And if you don’t like that, I QUIT!!
(Domino tearfully walks away from Stein. The crowd cheers wildly. But Stein grabs her arm as she walks away.]
DS: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No one walks away from the Punisher. NO ONE!
(Domino slaps Stein clear across the face. The crowd goes absolutely wild. Stein violently grabs a fistful of Domino’s long, brown hair. Domino is immobilized, and the crowd is quieted.]
DS: Just who the fuck do you think you’re dealing with? I need not remind you that you are…
(Stein shakes Domino’s head with the fist still tightly wrapped around her hair.]
DS: …contractually obligated to do whatever the hell I say. You know it too, don’t you, bitch? So you’ll do whatever I tell you to do. Got it?!
(Stein throws her to the ground. Domino and the crowd are stunned.]
DS: You know, I’m beginning to think that maybe you deserved a visit from Lucifer Jones…he tells me you liked it…did you?
(Domino vehemently shakes her head no; Lucifer Jones gives a lusty smile and says yes.]
DS: You probably liked it. Well, no matter. You know what Dom, I’m going to show you what this is all about. It’s about winning. It’s about the meanest, most brutally efficient wrestlers ever assembled.
(Stein moves away to address the crowd.]
DS: As most of you know, I am a student of wrestling history. I know all about the greatest stables in the sport. See, I don’t have to like my new mates, and they don’t have to like me. This isn’t some hippie circle of friends commune like the Un~Able. Or some weird homo-erotic fetish gathering like the Dick Ryderz. This is about assembling the finest group of wrestlers possible to conquer Hardkore World. This is what we are all about- winning. To prove it, I would love to introduce to you the newest member...
(Stein motions around... and stops suddenly...]
("GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays and the jeers turn to cheers. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner walks out with the Hardkore World Championship strapped around her waist. The fans boo loudly.]
DS: Domino, I want you to take notes about what a real woman is like. This is the Hardkore World women’s champion. And this is the start of the biggest thing Hardkore will ever witness. We will not stop until all the belts in Hardkore are ours, and we will lay waste to everything else.
(Stein turns the mic over to Turner, but Lujo grabs it.]
Lujo: And "Sexy" Anjanette Turner?!? My god, this bird DEFINES class and skill. She IS the first lady of Hardkore World and I be bloody goddamned if anybody says otherwise.
(Lujo eyes Anj up.
....
DS: Lujo...
....
Cobryn: Lujo?
....
(It begins getting a little tiny bit uncomfortable. Cobryn bumps Lucifer over away from Anj a little and Stein shakes his head. Cobryn laughs and hands the mic to Anj, who is still dressed in her ring attire with her HK Women’s Championship belt draped over her right shoulder.]
Turner: What a better way to end the summer then with a brand new bunch of friends. I mean, what’s better than being part of something new…like this group? And with these of men in the ring with me, HardKore World is not safe. Tonight… we take over and win every last championship. Tonight was only the beginning. So all you so call contenders in the backstage area believing you have a chance…think again…because you don’t even have a chance after tonight.
(Anj re-adjusts and tosses the Women's Hardkore World Championship on her shoulder, to her right is Lujo, still looking her up and down with the Hardkore American title on his shoulder. In the middle of the two, Cobryn grins, and raises the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over his head with both arms.
Phoenix is rocked with boos so loud at this point that Cobryn's words can not be heard at all at first. Lucifer Jones walks over and leans back on the turnbuckle and feigns that hes sleeping. Stein bats away incoming trash and tosses it back where it came from.
Eventually the crowd quiets just enough for Cobryn to try to speak again.]
Cobryn, trademark grin: Ya know...
(Phoenix is again rocked with overwhelming boos. Cobryn shakes his head and grins.]
Cobryn: In every important person's life... No, not you, or you... or any of you for that matter... I said important people's lives. Like us.
(LuJo gives a "here, here".]
Cobryn: Anyway, there are key moments and decisions that can change careers, lives, and sometimes the world as you know it. Tonight, one of those key moments is taking place right in front of the Sportoricans and the rest of the known world.
(The Sporto-ricans show up on the ramp and cheer, and then are attacked by a few members of the audience. Security begins breaking it up.]
Cobryn: Its taken me years to assemble a group of guys and gals that were "able" to bring the bar of wrestling up to a notch that has never been achieved. A group that would change the wrestling world as we know it.
But I look around the ring tonight and what Cobryn sees brings a tear to his eyes.
(Cobryn begins walking around and motioning.]
Cobryn: Anj, a woman who has changed women's wrestling as much as her predecessor, Jasmine. The Hardkore World Women's Champion of Hardkore World Women's champions worthy of headlining any arena in the world.
(Cobryn motions back toward Lucifer Jones.]
Cobryn: Then theres Lucifer Jones, a guy who broke my arm for a few bucks and a night with Jen Hunglestein. A guy that just gutted out a victory against the King of the Monsters and walked away with the Hardkore American strap around his waist. A guy that if you saw while walking down a dark alley you would shit your pants and pray to God that he didnt catch up with you.
(Cobryn motions back toward Stein.]
Dan Stein, a man who I've personally went to war with, a man who has more brute strength and more of a sense of history and ring intelligence than any before him. A man that hasnt even begun to reap the benefits that his skills will allow him to. A man that lives up to his name and punishes everything that dares to oppose him.
(Cobryn adjusts the World title.]
Couple this with my singlehanded victory against Big Bad Bill and the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship you see over my shoulder.. and we ARE the most significant group of elite that you will EVER find in front of you. Worthy of a name...
(Cobryn shakes his head and stops himself, grins, and then continues.]
Cobryn: Everyone of you losers in the back had better take notice of what you see before you. No longer is it safe to walk down the hallway to your match alone. No longer will groups like the Cup Cake Crew, The Dick Ryderz or the Unstable be considered as groups of power in Hardkore World.
The bar has just been raised.
The most dominant group of wrestlers that have ever stepped in a ring together, and they're here to clean up the place a little. They're here to put you on notice. They're here to take over the house.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you...
The Society... Of The New Breed!!!