House Show: Santa Fe, NM
Dec 15, 2022 5:09:56 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, edwarddubin0604, and 4 more like this
Post by Jonnie Valentine on Dec 15, 2022 5:09:56 GMT -5
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Sweeney Convention Center
Attendance: 2,405
The Anointed ("The Punisher" Dan Stein & "High Roller" Wesley Crane)
vs.
Mesmerize (Randy Candy & The Gymnast)
The brand new team of Mesmerize came down to the ring to "I'm So Beautiful" by Divine. When Crane was turned around talking to Stein, The Gymnast came over and pinched his butt. Crane tried to smack him, but Gymnast ducked and belly to back overhead suplexed him. Gymnast tagged in Randy Candy who applied a bow & arrow submission. Randy Candy then did some of Syberus' mannerisms and tried the Pure Confidence DDT but Wesley Crane lifted him up onto his shoulders and dropped him on his head with a death valley driver. Wesley Crane then sailed off the top rope with a flying elbow that connected. He tagged in Dan Stein who headbutted Candy in the face three times, and then sat out into a facebuster. The Punisher lifted the 5'6, 160 pound Randy Candy up by the throat and held him up there a while as the fans booed, and then dropped him in a sit-out chokeslam. Stein went for a running powerslam but Randy slipped off his shoulder and hit Stein with a standing dropkick. No effect. Then he hit him with a double chop to the chest. Stein just looked at him. The Gymnast came off the second rope with a bionic elbow, but Stein just got angry at Mesmerize. Stein booted Candy in the stomach and gut wrenched him up into a neckbreaker. Gymnast was caught from his blind side by a v trigger knee known as Wesley Crane's In The Face. Dan Stein pumphandles Candy up into a sitout slam that he calls The Reckoning for the win.
The University of Oklahoma fight song plays. The fans cheer as Kalmin Watts, Anthony Jordan, and three “lucky” fans walk down the aisle and into the ring. Watts enters first, then holds the ropes open for Jordan and the fans. Jordan takes the microphone from the ring announcer, then ducks his head through the ropes to tell the play-by-play and color commentators to take a breather as he’ll do the announcing. Jordan walks over to the referee in the ring and makes sure the official understands what is going on. Once everyone is in the ring, Jordan raises the microphone.
Jordan: “Santa Fe, welcome to the Sooner Squeeze Challenger! We have three lucky locals who are hoping to survive or escape the Sooner Squeeze for a chance to win ten thousand dollars! If no one is victorious, then the money will be donated to the local Boys and Girls Club of Santa Fe!”
The old pro was ready. He knew the fans would naturally root for the underdogs and be against Watts under the usual structure of the challenge, so he worked in the last bit to keep the people behind his client. The fans in the ring get excited at the prospect of winning $10,000 as Jordan lowers the microphone to chat with Kalmin. After the brief conference, Jordan raises the microphone back up.
Jordan: “Folks, here is how it works: once the Sooner Squeeze has been applied, the competitors have one minute to survive or escape. They can win by completely escaping the hold or by not submitting and not being pinned for one minute. To keep things impartial, an official Hardkore World referee will count the pin and check for a submission. In addition to that, the timekeeper will keep track of the minute with one ding at thirty second,”
DING
Jordan: “Two dings at fifty seconds,”
DING DING
Jordan: “And three at the conclusion of the time limit.”
DING DING DING. The fans give a Pavlovian cheer. Watts takes this opportunity to shake hands with all three fans, then sit on the mat in the middle of the ring. Jordan walks up to the first fan.
Jordan: “Now that the rules are established, it is time for the Sooner Squeeze Challenge! Sir, what is your name?”
Fan: “Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon!”
Jordan: “I hope you will take a check to made out to cash.”
Xmus nods and gets down on the mat. Watts wraps his legs around Xmus, but does not lock in the Sooner Squeeze, yet.
Jordan: “THREE, TWO, ONE, GO!”
Now Watts locks in the Sooner Squeeze. Xmus gasps for air immediately and is struggling to breathe. His face turns red as he feebly tries to push Watts’s legs off him. With Xmus panicking and unable or unwilling to submit, Watts does the merciful thing and rolls Xmus into a pin. ONE, TWO, THREE!
Jordan: “Sorry, Xmus. You fought hard, but the Sooner Squeeze is the best hold in wrestling for a reason.”
The referee helps Xmus roll out of the ring where he is greeted by medical personnel. Jordan walks to the second competitor. He is a bodybuilder who looks as if he should be a wrestler instead of competing in this challenge.
Jordan: “Sir, what is your name?”
Man: “Scoish Velociraptor Maloish.”
Jordan tries to speak, but Scoish pulls his hand and the microphone.
Scoish: “I want to do the challenge standing up!”
The fans cheer as Scoish releases Jordan’s arm. Jordan squats down to confer with Watts. After a few seconds, Watts stands up as the fans cheer. Jordan walks to the corner and gives instructions to the timekeeper, then talks to the referee. With that sorted, Jordan raises the microphone.
Jordan: “We are going to have a standing Sooner Squeeze Challenge. Scoish will have to win by remaining vertical for the full minute!”
Watts walks over to Jordan and whispers something to him.
Jordan: “Folks, Kalmin Watts is really tying one arm behind his back now! Not only will Scoish be in the standing Sooner Squeeze Challenge, but, if Kalmin Watts brings him to the mat, it is not an automatic victory. Scoish will be able to compete under the same rules whether he is standing or on the mat!”
Watts moves to the Scoish’s right side and nods to Jordan.
Jordan: “The countdown will be different this time. Once I say ‘Go’, Kalmin Watts will jump up and lock in the Sooner Squeeze. Time will start once the hold is locked in. Is everyone ready?”
Watts and Scoish nod.
Jordan: “THREE, TWO, ONE, GO!”
Watts jumps up and applies the Sooner Squeeze to Scoish. Whatever plans Scoish thought he had went out the window as his legs immediately wobble. Scoish can’t wind up and use his right arm to hit Watts. His left arm is too far away to fend off Watts, too. Thankfully, Scoish’s bulk is allowing him to survive. He is gasping, but still fighting as the first DING of the bell is heard. That gives Scoish a brief second wind. It soon fades, then Watts rocks to his right, then his left. This momentum sends Scoish down to the mat as Watts rocks him back into a pinning position! ONE, TWO, THREE! Watts wins again as the referee helps Scoish roll out of the ring.
Jordan: “That was impressive! A large, hulking beast of man at full strength barely stayed up for thirty seconds! There is a reason that no wrestler has been able to pull off the same feat after a match with Kalmin Watts! After the Oklahoma Hammer, no one in his business is strong enough to stay standing. Thankfully, for the competitors, they do not have to wrestle a full match or deal with the Oklahoma Hammer.”
The next fan makes it clear that he does not want to try what Scoish attempted. He frantically motions for Watts to stay on the mat. This draws some chuckles from the crowd.
Jordan: “Smart move. Sir, what is your name?”
Man: “Greg Smith.”
Jordan: “Really?”
Greg: “Yeah.”
Jordan shakes off the shock and motions for Greg to get on the mat. Watts wraps his legs around Greg, but keeps them loose.
Jordan: “THREE, TWO, ONE, GO!”
Watts locks in the Sooner Squeeze. Greg learned a few things from the previous competitors and flexed his core. This kept him from getting the air squeezed out of his legs. Since he could breathe, he did not panic. The pain was real, but Greg pushed up on his heels and pushed up with his arms to take leverage away from Watts. Watts responded by rolling Greg into a pin, but only got a two count before Greg was able to rock forward and push up again. The sequence repeats itself before we hear the first DING. Greg nods his head as he has found a formula that has worked the best out of all the competitors. He has enough strength left to avoid the pins, yet can take enough leverage away from Watts to reduce the pain to tolerable levels. DING DING The crowd is on its feet cheering and begin to count down:
TEN
NINE
EIGHT
At this point, Watts kicks it into high gear. He rolls Greg into a pin, but adds a quarter turn to where Greg’s legs are dangling over his head and basically touching the mat. ONE TWO THREE! Greg loses with about five seconds left. Greg holds his ribs and scoots himself out of the ring as the crowd cheers his efforts.
Jordan: “How about that? Good game, Greg!”
Jordan reaches down with his free arm. Watts takes it and pulls himself up to his feet.
Jordan: “Well, no one person won the Sooner Squeeze Challenge tonight, so the money is going to the Boys and Girls Club of Santa Fe!
The crowd cheers as Jordan pats Watts on the back.
Jordan: “Kalmin Watts is always ready to help out. He is also always ready for a challenge. We had hoped tonight to give you a special treat as I was in negotiations with the one and only Duke of Disney, the Prince of Plus, Marty Donovan to compete in the Sooner Squeeze Challenge.”
The fans cheer as they would like to see how the HKW World Champion would fare in the Sooner Squeeze.
Jordan: “Unfortunately, he texted me this morning and said he ate too many Mickey Mouse ice cream bars and would be unable to compete today due to cramps.”
The fans boo as Jordan nods.
Jordan: “It is a shame, but the invitation is open, Marty! Feel free to handle the best hold in wrestling any time you want!”
We hear a starting bike and flames come out of the ramp sideways! "Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf blares over the Sweeney Convention Center. Dirk "Glorious Wolf" van Thijmen walks down to the ring decked in white as he walks to the ring. From his wooly coat to his expensive white boots. Dirk stops at ringside and pulls his red hair out of it's ponytail and shakes it loose; getting a loud squeal from the ladies in attendance. A couple of ladies in the front row reach over and grab his muscles and hairy chest
Kalmin Watts vs. Dirk "Glorious Wolf" van Thijmen
Watts and van Thijmen did some chain wrestling where the 15 year veteran van Thijmen came out on top with a hammerlock. Watts did a go behind and grabbed an armbar. Dirk Thijmen scoops Watts up and bodyslams his way out of the armbar. The Glorious Wolf went for a flying forearm, but Kalmin Watts catches him and drops him into a backbreaker. Kalmin Watts holds him and lifts him back up into several ribbreakers as well. Anthony Jordan signalled to Watts and he irish whipped von Thijmen into the ropes, drops to a knee, clinches both hands together, and hits him square in the chest with an Oklahoma Hammer! Kalmin Watts applied his Sooner Squeeze on Dirk von Thijmen. Von Thijmen tried to fight it off, but when Watts forced him to the mat, he had to tap out.
Dutch Boy vs. Little Dragon
The mohawked Dutch Boy sang the farmer song "Mooi Man" by Mannenkoor Karrespoor before the match as is his custom. Then kicked off his wooden shoes and wrestled Little Dragon barefoot. Little Dragon confused Dutch Boy with several Mexican armdrags and then worked the arm for the early part of the match. Dragon springboarded off the top rope and hit Dutch Boy between the eyes with a superman punch. Later, Dutch Boy pulled a rope out of his boxer shorts and choked Little Dragon from behind. Dutch Boy jumped off the second rope with a stomp, but Little Dragon moved. As Dutch Boy clutched at his knee, Little Dragon came off the top rope with a backstabber he calls the DSD for the pinfall victory
Captain Black Hawk vs. Gavin Drake
Captain Black Hawk marched to the ring and gave the ring attendant his military jacket. The fans gave him the applause he deserves as a veteran. Once the bell rang, Gavin Drake dropkicked Captain Black Hawk to the mat. He scooped him up for a bodyslam but Captain Black Hawk caught him with an inside cradle for a two count. The army man got to his feet only to be speared out of his military boots by Gavin Drake. Drake pulled Captain Black Hawk to his feet and drills his head into the mat with a double arm DDT. Gavin Drake gave Black Hawk his Second Impact powerbomb to win. After the match, Moondog Dook emerged from the crowd and attacked Gavin Drake with a chain. He choked Drake with it until Gavin was able to get control of it and whip Moondog Dook with it until Dook escaped back out into the audience from whence he came
The Rookie vs. Cross Recoba
The grizzled veteran, The Rookie, twisted Recoba's arm and then stepped through the ropes out onto the apron. He dropped down to the floor, popping the Santa Fe crowd and nearly tearing Recoba's arm out of it's socket. The Rookie slid back in and hit Recoba in the stomach with a headbutt and then climbed to the top turnbuckle. He jumped off with a dropkick, but Recoba avoided it and The Rookie crashed onto the back of his head. Cross Recoba got underneath The Rookie with a saito suplex, and then came off the ropes with a running elbow drop. He crucified Cross up into the air and then dropped him into a neckbreaker. Recoba grabbed The Rookie with an inverted facelock, and flipped him up and over into an osaka street cutter he calls The Skim, making him a prime target for the jumping corkscrew tombstone he calls Up All Night In Dakota for the win
The Sheik vs. Tyrone the Love Doctor
An angry Sheik jumped Tyrone before the bell and stomped him over and over in the corner. He slingshot himself over the ropes into a cross body block that got Tyrone for a two count. The Love Doctor rolled out of the way of a leg drop and grabbed Sheik in his Doctor's Love Grip bearhug. After a while, The Sheik punched his way out of it but Tyrone fired back with his You Listen punch to the ear and the Oh La La abdominal claw. The Sheik raked his eye and then scooped him up into a michinoku driver II, then applied a lebell lock. The Sheik released Tyrone after a while, climbed to the top turnbuckle and flipped into a moonsault, then applied The Last Crusade camel clutch for the win
Ruben Bowman vs. Suikerbossie
A rematch between these two, Ruben Bowman was able to get the early advantage with some big right hands. Suikerbossie attempted to make some noise with some boxing jabs but when he hit the ropes, Bowman put him down with a big boot to the face. Ruben applied a dragon sleeper but Suikerbossie hung on as his wife Mein mopped the ringside area emotionlessly. Bowman irish whipped him but Suikerbossie reversed it and shot Bowman into the corner. The 300 pound South African shooter monkey flipped Bowman out of the corner into an armbar. Bowman slowly worked his way to his feet and then beel threw Suikerbossie with his armbarred arm. He got a two count after a shaky moonsault off the top, and then the poet finished Suikerbossie off with his Poetry In Motion blackhole slam
Disney's Marty Donovan vs. Sugar Daddy
Sugar Daddy danced down to the ring to "Take it to the Max" by Richenel. "The Punisher" Dan Stein wheeled Marty Donovan down to the ring in a wheelchair, and told referee Kelly O'Connell that he couldn't compete tonight. Sugar Daddy took the microphone and said "I'm here, who gonna face me?" and threw the mic down to cheers. Suddenly Eron Hunter walked down to the ring and pulled off Marty's hood, revealing it to once again be Phil Blauer. While Dan Stein sputtered to O'Connell, Eron Hunter found Marty hiding in the crowd and tossed him over the railing into the ringside area. Sugar Daddy scooped Marty up and bodyslammed him on the concrete. He rolled Donovan into the ring, who was begging off of Sugar Daddy. Sugar Daddy was in no mood to bargain, and started lighting Marty up with reverse knife edge chops. He started biting Marty to the delight of the crowd and then applied an abdominal stretch. Marty looked to be in trouble until Dan Stein got on the apron and punched Sugar Daddy while Kelly O'Connell was checking to see if Marty tapped. Marty hiptossed his way out of it and then dropped Sugar Daddy's neck on his knee with an ushigoroshi. Marty applied his butterfly lock he calls The Blue Moon and smiled at the camera. Sugar Daddy refused to give up, so Donovan irish whipped him into the ropes and smashed him with his Dis-Knee to get out of Santa Fe with the victory.
Kentucky Mud Fight
Kilroy Evans vs. Uncle Claymore Clyde
There was an intermission so they could fill a ringside pool with a mud pit that would decide Dinky the Wrestling Mule's fate. To kill time, a meet and greet was held with numerous Hardkore World on air personalities, with ring announcer Greg Jin having the longest line. Richie Richardson's was the shortest and he eventually just ate the Tupperware unch that Judy Valentine Jr. brought him. When the pit was full, "Boom Shock A Laka" by Apache Indian played as Uncle Claymore Clyde and his manager, the lovely Mad Dog Cyril came down to the ring. Then Kilroy lead Dinky down to the ring, as Dinky munched on a carrot. Tommy Milligan gave both men the final instructions and the rules to a Kentucky Mud Fight, when suddenly Kilroy was hit in the face with a handful of mud and dirt by Mad Dog Cyril. Uncle Claymore Clyde took advantage with an open handed punch to the stomach, and then took a clump of dirt and rubbed it in Kilroy's eyes. Mad Dog Cyril distracted Tommy Milligan, and Clyde punched Kilroy low, and then rammed his face into the mud. A mud covered and blinded Kilroy lied in the dirt and then Clyde jumped on his stomach with both feet. Uncle Claymore Clyde gave Kilroy a belly to back bearhug and tried to squeeze a submission out of him, but Kilroy threw his head back into Uncle Clyde's face. Kilroy then jumped on Clyde's back with the Piggyback to slam his face into the sloppy mud. As soon as Clyde got to his feet, Kilroy bulldogged his face back into the mud. After some back and forth, Kilroy ended up on Clyde's back with a camel clutch he calls Make You Humble. Kilroy rubbed dirt in Clyde's face trying to get him to submit when he was kicked in the face by Dinky the Wrestling Mule. The Santa Fe booed the dastardly mule as it galloped into Mad Dog Cyril's arms. Uncle Claymore Clyde applied a sleeper as Kilroy stared at the braying heel with a look of confused heartbreak. The 2000 fans in the Sweeney Convention Center willed Kilroy back to his feet and he slipped out into his diamond cutter known as The Bad Touch into the mud for the 1-2-3. Kilroy won the battle but lost the war as Dinky the Wrestling Mule returned to the locker room with Uncle Claymore Clyde and Mad Dog Cyril. While Kilroy Evans stared down Dinky, he didn't notice "High Roller" Wesley Crane and "The Punisher" Dan Stein run out from the crowd and attack him from behind. "The Punisher" Dan Stein camel clutched Kilroy in the mud pit with his Peacemaker wooden staff, while Wesley Crane kicked his face. Fortunately, Tuxedo Mask and Syberus ran down to the ring to save Kilroy from The Anointed. The two groups threatened each other as the Tuxedo Mask's "Zero Space" by Kidneythieves played and the audience got their coats.