Post by Jonnie Valentine on Apr 20, 2023 19:29:09 GMT -5
("How the Gods Kill" by Danzig plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 18 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber...Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope...Lucifer Jones gives Devon Stevens a London Air Raid off the top rope through a table on the floor...Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa backflips off the cage, catching Brandi on the top turnbuckle on the way down with a inverted FireBird DDT...Death Gojira puts the ladder over Cobryn's head in the corner with his chest in the turnbuckle, then jumps off the top turnbuckle on the long end, see sawing him into the audience....Kilroy Evans jumps off a ringpost and elbow drops Death Gojira on a razor wire platform...Vampira comes off the top rope with a shooting star press on Vagabond through a table on the floor then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America". The shot then fades out to Hardkore Hall where the audience is cheering and holding up signs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello, and welcome back to LA! Here next to me is the biggest phony in this town. Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: Lakers suck.
(The audience boos)
Phil Blauer: That was easy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight as you can see we have two rings.
Phil Blauer: WOW! When did those get here??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil you walked right past them. Anyway, those are for tonight's big Wargames match.
Phil Blauer: This is one of my favorite matches. This is a match where you must get inside the head of Matthew McConaughey and outwit a supercomputer that you unwittingly asked to start a thermonuclear holocaust. My money's on "Nasty" Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That was Wargames, the movie and it was Matthew Broderick.
Phil Blauer: Nooooo, I think I know my McConaughey movies. I'm president of The Matthew McConaughey Fan Club...
Guillermo O'Bannon: (covers his face) Your the President of the Matthew Broderick Fan Club...
Phil Blauer: WARGAMES WAS A GOOD MOVIE!!
(former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone and Yolanda Ando have to restrain Phil while Guillermo continues his intro)
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, tonight's Wargames match is a throwback to one of the best gimmick matches wrestling has ever seen. And at this point, all wrestling has is throwback. Cobryn shocked the World in Phoenix when he reformed the legendary Society of the New Breed. With the help of Lucifer Jones and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Cobryn defeated Big Bad Bill for the Hardkore World Championship. Now Bill has a chance to get some revenge on him, along with the rest of Legion X & The Dark Ryderz Movement. They put their Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles on the line against The Society of the New Breed in a great Wargames Match up.
Phil Blauer: Lakers suck.
(The audience boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's one of our first title vs. title matches in a long time. Winner take all. Syberus viciously attacked Hardkore Canada's Uncrowned Champion with a chair in Phoenix after he won the West Coast title. After that he challenged Zack Daniels to tonight's winner take all match.
Phil Blauer: You said that twice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match should be a show stealer, both men are so good at their craft, we could be seeing a match of the year candidate. Then another great grudge match, High Maintenance came down to the ring during last month's steel cage match between The Un-Stable and "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson & "The Punisher" Dan Stein. Rally did have a whole lot of chance since Dan Stein left him in the beginning of the match.
Phil Blauer: Is it me, or did it seem like that entire card was just a big mindfuck by The Society of the New Breed, Legion X, and The Un-Stable?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Feels that way. High Maintenance stole their belts back, unofficially, and so tonight Robert Hunglestien III & Andrew Karnage try and get them back in a ladder match. Then Ashley gets a rematch against The Society of the New Breed's "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. In Phoenix, Ashley was in the midst of giving Turner her acid drop, when Anjanette pushed her into Zack Daniels who delivered his vicious shining wizard that also won him the Hardkore West Coast title that same night.
Phil Blauer: Zack Daniels is one of our top female wrestlers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: So tonight, Ashley challenges Turner to a leather strap match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship. It's a type that Ashley invented where one must tag all four corners before they can pin their opponent. The winner will go on to face either Alley or Tamara Sanchez at Hardkore Helloween next month. Alley, Tamara Sanchez, Vampira, Horror Girl, and Vagabond wrestled in a #1 contenders match at the America West Arena.
Phil Blauer: I remember that match. Lots of tight little...moves.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The time limit expired with Tamara Sanchez and Alley left. Tonight, they wrestle in a sudden death match to see who's going to Cleveland to face the champion.Then it’s a 2/3 falls match between the two shooters, “The Saiyko Terrororist” Tatsuya Arakawa & The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: This is bound to be stiffer than Michael Jackson at Disneyland.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two of our young lions in the ladies division, Vagabond & Horror Girl will wrestle. I guarantee you Vagabond had never wrestled anyone like Horror Girl over in the EWW.
Phil Blauer: Except for when she wrestled her last month.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Right, except for that. Then Adrian Tanner Jr. hot off his win over SWAT World Heavyweight Champion Stan Wilson is set to take on Kilroy Evans right after our first match up, so let’s get underway!
Phil Blauer: Lets!
("Start The Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot fills the Staples Center)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wait...who's...?
(Rated X steps through the curtain in a Hardkore World t-shirt and blue jeans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it!! Rated X, Hardkore World Hall of Famer and former Hardkore World Champion, former Hardkore America TV Champion, Rated X is here! This is the man who carried that Hardkore World Championship for nearly two years! He's returned to Hardkore World!!
(Rated X walks down the ramp dragging a bloody, dented steel chair behind him. He slides into, sets up his chair, and takes a seat. "Wild" Bill Kasal humbly hands him the microphone)
Rated X: "Three score years ago our forefathers, men named Blassie, Graham, Samartino, and Farat set forth a precident of pain. They fought with honor until they could fight no more, then they bled. Then they managed. Their life is our life, be it the top draws and world champions, or the chubby kid flopping around on a stained mattress like a gold fish pulled from the water. Professional wrestlers don't retire, we die unexpectedly in motel rooms or on the road. Or we stopped getting booked. My retirement, impossed by injury and federal judges is over tonight!"
Phil Blauer: I don't believe it!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X?? Returning to competitive action?!?
(The Staples Center crowd breaks into a chant of "WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!!")
Rated X: "I look around the locker room and see the names have changed, but the faces remain the same. That smile full of hope has moved from Cyrus Williams to Syberus. The tired look of disappointment and shame has moved from Gorgeous Greg to Cyrus Williams. There's pretty boys, and ugly girls, and girly boys like Zach Daniels and The Shock. No matter, they're all the same to me. Wherever I look I see pieces of meat waiting to marinate in their own juices. I see a clean canvass under my feet waiting to be painted crimson with the blood of every mark backstage. I've had one loss in this company that 'Irish' Mike Powers still talks about while teetering on a barstool in a New Jersey suburb. I am the last man to hold the Hardkore America Television Title. I am the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion that all men who followed are graded against. I am a LEGIT first ballot hall of famer and arguably the greatest wrestler to step in this ring. Next month in Cleveland Ohio I'm entering the Helloween tournament representing the Hardkore World Hall of Fame. I'm a starving man let loose in a slaughterhouse. I'm a shot of mayhem chased by bottled rage. I'm the chair swingin', hard drinkin', punk-ass-bitch killin' scared up monster Rated X!!!
(X drops the mic, the audience is deafening, chanting "WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!!" Rated X walks out through the crowd, as a near riot ensues from people trying to touch him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hardkore World's prodigal son has returned!
(The opening bell rings and the 20,000 in attendance applaud as they get to their seats. Then “Your Body’s Callin” by R. Kelly plays. The crowd boos as Jeremiah Vastrix slinks out to the ring. The ladies in attendance squeal, and their boyfriends sneer. He walks over to a woman in her late 20’s in the front row. He spots her kid next to her and pretends to hear another fan calling him and says he has to go)
Phil Blauer: Nice dismount.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix had a thrilling Iron Man match at Irage Rage in Belfast, and looking to take that momentum to a rematch with Syberus. Last time Vastrix was in Los Angeles was in February. He lost a tag team stretcher match with Tarrasque against Andrew Sinclair’s stablemates, The Miracle Violence Combination II. It was the first round of the Hardkore World Tag Team title tournament.
Yolanda Ando: Jeremiah Vastrix is wearing a black & purple bodysuit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm still reeling about Rated X showing up, what else does this show have in store for us?
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the The Staples Center. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine present to you tonight’s card of wrestling excellence. Tonight’s first match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard Tarrasque, and his manager, Lucius Morgan; He hails from Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 165 pounds...’GOD’S GIFT’ JEREMIAH VASTRIX!!!”
(The Los Angeles crowd boos him. “Chilly Water” by Widespread Panic plays and Robert Hunglestien III leads Andrew Sinclair down to the ring. The fans cheer and reach out for Sinclair but he ignores them on the way to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair looking to get back in a winning way after dropping a match to The Microshocker. But apparantly it was a ruse to catch Rally Jackson by surprise when he joined The Un-Stable.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Robert Hunglestien III; from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...’THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER’ ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!”
(The Staples Center gives him a big pop, while he loosens up the ropes. Jeremiah Vastrix runs at the corner, springs off of it to about the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix springs off of the top rope with a Monkey's Kick of the Western Sigil that catches Sinclair blindside! Mike Peters signals for the bell and our first match is underway!
(Jeremiah Vastrix steps through the ropes into the second ring. Mike Peters demands that he return but Jeremiah shakes his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix demanding that the match begin in the ring he chooses. Mike Peters gives in.
Phil Blauer: I could have told you that. That dude folds quicker than Kevin Nash’s knee on a stairmaster.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair and Peters join him in the ring, and Vastrix steps back into the old ring.
(The America West Arena boos. Mike Peters shrugs and steps back into the other ring. He begins counting Sinclair out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A frustrated Sinclair steps back into the ring, and Vastrix pulls it again. This time Sinclair steps off of the second rope and inzuigiri kicks Jeremiah in the back of the head!
(The fans pop, as Vastrix gets tangled up in the ropes between the two rings. Sinclair attempts to suplex Vastrix back into the ring but Jeremiah blocks it by grabbing the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix knife edge chops Sinclair in the throat. He slingshots himself over the ropes into a sunset flip back in the ring!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Andrew Sinclair claps his legs on Vastrix’s head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix hits Sinclair with an open handed strike to his nose that backs him up. Sinclair returns with an elbow to Vastrix’s face, a second one to his jaw backs him up into the corner. He backs into the opposite corner and then runs & leaps into a kneesmash to Vastrix’s face!
(The crowd gets louder. Andrew Sinclair scoops Vastrix up but on the slam downward, Vastrix hooks his leg and inside cradles him! He grabs the rope unbeknownst to Peters)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix irish whips Andrew Sinclair into the ropes and presses him over his head. God’s Gift drops him into a Stock Market Crash spinebuster!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix stomps Andrew Sinclair in the mouth. Jeremiah pulls Sinclair up into a double chicken wing, but Sinclair mule kicks him in the groin before he can complete Sage's Slam of the Ancient Ring.
Phil Blauer: My precious...my precious....
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil stop talking to your hair. Andrew Sinclair tags him with a uraken spinning backfist. Andrew Sinclair german suplexes him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jeremiah Vastrix rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair wraps his legs around Vastrix’s body and applies a triangle choke. Sinclair applies pressure to Vastrix’s neck with his arm and constricts his breathing with those powerful legs.
(Lucius Morgan has to restrain Tarrasque from running into the ring. Finally, Tarrasque breaks away, and rakes Sinclair’s eyes. The LA crowd boos and Hunglestien threatens the Warhammer Corporation as Peters demands that RHIII return to his corner. Sinclair breaks the triangle choke to care for his eyes and Vastrix gets to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With the help of his bodyguard, Vastrix survives the triangle choke. Vastrix wheelbarrows Sinclair’s legs and then punt kicks him in the groin!
(The audience jeers and boos Vastrix, as Peters tries to reason with him. Jeremiah Vastrix irish whips Sinclair into the ropes, but follows him in with a baseball slide kick to his ankle that sends him out of the ring to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair gets to his feet and Tarrasque spears him into the ring steps!! Robert Hunglestien III starts to chase Tarrasque around the ring, leaving him for Lucius Morgan. Morgan fireman’s carries Sinclair up on his shoulders and then drops his throat on the guardrail!!
(Sinclair clutches his throat, and Hunglestien comes back to see if he’s ok. Jeremiah Vastrix stalks them from the apron. He hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault but Hunglestien & Sinclair split up, leaving him to hit the railing!! The crowd goes nuts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair lifts Vastrix up onto his shoulders with a fireman’s carry. He dumps him over into a death valley driver on The Staples Center floor!!
(The audience lets out the first big pop of the night. Sinclair rolls Vastrix back in the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair comes off the top with a Bombs Away Kneedrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair takes Vastrix over with a dragon screw leg whip. He irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and wraps his legs around Vastrix’s knee, dropping him with a sambo takedown! Sinclair applies a leg bar, clamping down on Vastrix’s twisted knee.
(Vastrix cries out in anguish as Lucius Morgan tries to encourage him. Mike Peters checks in to see if Vastrix wants to give up. He shakes his head, and then curses in pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque pushes out the bottom rope so that Vastrix can grab it. Mike Peters forces Sinclair to break the achilles hold. Vastrix limps up to his feet and then unleashes a vicous roundhouse kick!
(Sinclair gets back up to his feet and hooks Vastrix with an STO! The crowd cheers and Sinclair motions for Vastrix to get up. Vastrix slides underneath a running high kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix tags Sinclair in the chest with a heart punch uppercut! Vastrix lifts Sinclair up in a hanging suplex then drops him into his own Go to the ER!!
(The Staples Center rocks with boos as Vastrix gets up with a cocky smile on his face. He arrogantly covers him with his back)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix fireman’s carries Sinclair up on his shoulder and sits him on the top turnbuckle.
Phil Blauer: Nothing good can come of this.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He pulls Sinclair’s head into his legs, but Sinclair twisting ranas Vastrix off the second rope!! The crowd jumps to their feet, and Sinclair drills him into the mat with a uranage!
(Sinclair applies a hizajugigatame kneebar on Vastrix’s aching leg. Sinclair applies pressure to Vastrix’s worn down knee while Peters checks in to see if he submits. Tarrasque holds out the rope again but he’s much too far away. Hunglestien applauds)
Phil Blauer: Sinclair most likely getting some advice from his partner Kilroy Evans, who broke Vastrix’s leg in Denver last December.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair slowing down the pace of this match and keeping the striker Jeremiah Vastrix on the mat with the Hizajugigatame. Vastrix is finally able to roll over and grab the ropes, so Peters calls for a break. Sinclair goes for an exploder, but Vastrix elbows out of it. He smacks Sinclair with a karate chop uppercut.
(Jeremiah Vastrix twists Sinclair’s arm and then back hook kicks him to the mat! The LA audience boos. Jeremiah Vastrix presses Sinclair over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix military presses Andrew Sinclair over his head again and this time drops him in a Bottom Line ace crusher!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vastrix pulls him up into a powerbomb but Sinclair rolls through and lands on his feet in front of him. This time he hits the exploder!
(Vastrix gets up on his knees and gets whacked in the chest with a running soccer kick to the chest. The fans cheer the noise it makes. Hunglestien signals to Morgan that that had to hurt. Andrew Sinclair lifts Vastrix up into a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gives Vastrix a reciept for The Go to the ER!!
(Vastrix clutches his face and screams “My face, my beautiful face...” Sinclair makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair full nelsons Vastrix. He drops back into a dragon suplex but Vastrix backflips onto his feet behind him. Vastrix uppercuts him in the jaw with a kick! Vastrix pulls him up and completes the powerbomb this time!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
(Vastrix sits on Sinclair’s back and full nelsons his arms. He sits back into Andrew Sinclair’s cattle mutilation submission. Sinclair growls in pain, and curses Vastrix out of the side of his mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix applies The Straight Shot on Andrew Sinclair!
Phil Blauer: He has Sinclair scouted well. Score one for the veteran.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix rocking back in The Straight Shot as Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit. Vastrix releases the cattle mutilation, and climbs to the top rope from inside the ring...moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix climbs to the top rope again and comes off with a stomp to a standing Sinclair, but he moves out of the way. Sinclair tosses him across the ring with a rolling ipponzei! Vastrix landed hard on his shoulder. Like a shark smelling blood, Sinclair springs on him with a fujiwara armbar!
(Vastrix screams bloody murder. Sinclair plants his feet and pulls up on Jeremiah’s arm. Hunglestien pounds on the mat to get the crowd to clap for Sinclair and they do. Vastrix balls up his fists in pain. Sinclair turns it into a jujigatame cross armbar)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix caught in the center of the ring in the jujigatame by Andrew Sinclair! Sinclair yanks up on Vastrix’s armbarred arm, as Mike Peters in perfect position to see the submission. Sinclair releases the jujigatame and bounces into the ropes, precision perfect kneedrop to Vastrix’s shoulder!
(The audience applauds his signature kneedrop. Sinclair then sits on Vastrix’s back and pulls back his head & arms with a cattle mutilation! The fans leap to their feet and celebrate. Mike Peters continually asks Vastrix if he wants to give up but Jeremiah his shaking his head “no”)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair showing Jeremiah Vastrix how to apply The Straight Shot! He rocks back on that head, but more importantly Vastrix’s injured shoulder! Vastrix is in the center of the ring, so no escape!
(Vastrix finally nods his head and Mike Peters signals for the bell! The audience applauds both men for a good match as “Chilly Water” by Widespread Panic plays)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix had no choice. It was either give up or spend a year on the IR.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 24 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER' ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans cheer as Hunglestien raises Sinclair's arm in victory. They walk to the back together)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair showing himself to be a very lethal part of The Un-Stable. Next month, both these men will be involved in the infamous Hardkore Helloween barbed wire series. Who knows? This time in two months, either man could be facing Cobryn or Death Gojira for the Hardkore World Championship. For Sinclair it would be in his hometown of Sacramento.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have the match between two longtime veterans, Adrian Tanner Jr. and Kilroy Evans. Tanner had a big win over Stan Wilson in his homestate of Arizona last month. Kilroy Evans had the same result, defeating "The Saiyko Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa.
(The America West Arena house lights dim to black and spliced footage from Metal Gear Solid III appears on the screen)
Revolver Ocelot: Hold it right there, traitor. Let's find out just how lucky you are.
(Ocelot reveals a bullet for his revolver. He loads the bullet)
Ocelot: Watch closely. (takes out three revolvers)
Ocelot: One of these three guns has a single bullet in it. I'm going to pull the trigger six times in a row. Are you ready?
(Ocelot juggles the three guns. Each time he pulls a trigger, Sokolov winces. The fifth time a trigger is pulled, Sokolov pisses his pants)
Ocelot: Looks like your luck hasn't run out yet.
(The sixth time, the gun fires and the screen shatters into a million pieces as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers)
*BOOM!*
(A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames)
Phil Blauer: Aaaaagh!! Are the spiders back?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Spiders don't go boom, Phil. And get out of my lap.
Phil Blauer: (straightens out his suit) Common mistake.
(When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down. Black and white footage continues to play on the screen as Adrian begins his walk down the ramp, slapping a couple hands on the way down. At the last verse, Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. making a name for himself in the tag team ranks over in SWAT Australia winning the World Tag Team titles over there. He'd love to get a win over another tag team icon, Kilroy Evans here tonight.
Phil Blauer: And I'd love to watch a toothpaste commercial that didn't subliminally make me want a blowjob. No I wouldn't.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yolanda?
Yolanda Ando: (brushing her teeth) Oh, I'm sorry Guillermo. I'm just trying this new Crest multi-mint toothpaste. Mmmm. It just makes my entire mouth tingle and feel alive. I love to run my tongue over my teeth to feel how smooth they feel. It's like a party in there.
Phil Blauer: Oh god...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't you want to do the fashion report?
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, hold on. Let me spit.
Phil Blauer: OH YES! (lights a cigarette, and smokes, satified)
Yolanda Ando: Adrian Tanner Jr. is wearing some red shorts with gold flames, with black elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The audience gives him a big pop. Then "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays and the fans go ballistic. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring with Andrew Karnage in tow. Evans waves at the fans and then slides under the ropes. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and waves at the crowd)
Guillermo O'Bannon: New music and a new attitude by The Attbury Assassin.
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans setting his sights on the Hardkore America title, a championship he hasn't been able to land despite repeated shots against Death Gojira and Cobryn.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil. Kilroy Evans was also busy defending those Hardkore World tag team titles & six man tag team titles. Now he's looking to get some singles gold here in Hardkore World.
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy Evans wears a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt and red, white, and blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The Staples Center erupts in applause. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Kilroy Evans and Adrian Tanner Jr. circle one another. Adrian Tanner takes Kilroy over into an armdrag)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner cinches in an armbar to take the match to the mat early. He sticks his knee into the ball of Kilroy's shoulder and clamps down on the arm.
(Kilroy Evans works his way back up to his feet with Tanner still armbarring his arm. He bites the nose of Adrian Tanner, making him releases the armbar, and run in place from the pain)
Phil Blauer: That's one way out of an armbar.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. smacks Evans in the chest with a few karate chops but with that Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt they're having minimal effect. He irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and drops him with a nice dropkick!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. front facelocks Evans and climbs up to the second turnbuckle. He comes off with a tornado DDT but Kilroy throws him off into a spinebuster! The crowd cheers. Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy belly to belly suplexes Adrian Tanner Jr.! He makes the pin attempt!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy turns Tanner over into a boston crab. He plants his feet and tries to sit low & tight on the back of Adrian Matthew Tanner Jr.
Phil Blauer: That's funny. Isn't your middle name Matthew?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, it's Cornelius. What's yours?
Phil Blauer: Jessica.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: My trivia section has just been updated!
(Kilroy Evans backs up so as to yank Tanner's legs back even further. Tanner then powers out of it, pitching Evans forward with his powerful legs. He headlocks Kilroy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner flips Kilroy Evans over with a headlock takedown. Evans' shoulders are pinned to the mat.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Kilroy Evans rolls Adrian Tanner Jr. into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner rolls back over into the headlock)
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans looking a little out of sorts when there isn't barbed wire or pirhana in the match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. scoops Kilroy up and drops him in a backbreaker. He wraps up Kilroy's legs, sticks his knees in Kilroy's back, and then bridges him up into a bow & arrow submission! Just as good as Tatsumi Fujiyama's, I would say.
(Kilroy shakes his head as Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to submit. Tanner bounces Evans' back on his knees while pulling back on his chest & twisted legs. He releases the bow & arrow and then irish whips Kilroy into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner comes back with a flying body press but Kilroy catches him and powerslams him! He pulls him up onto his feet and then pitches him forward onto his face in an inverted russian legsweep!
(Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the turnbuckles and follows him in with an avalanche! He headlocks Tanner and runs into the center of the ring with a bulldog. He then crouches down and applies an on-the-mat sleeper hold)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans, the bigger man, trying to wear down Tanner.
Phil Blauer: The added weight has got to be pressing against Tanner's back. It's like the sweaty guy on the bus who just keeps getting, closer...and closer...and closer.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner fighting his way back to his feet, but Kilroy cinches in the sleeper harder. Tanner finally drops down to his knees and drives the top of his head through Kilroy's chin with a jawbreaker! Kilroy staggers around, stunned, and Tanner takes him out of his sneakers with a spear!
(The crowd cheers and Adrian Tanner drops a couple kneedrops to the small of Kilroy's back. He then comes off the ropes and drops an elbow to his back. He sticks his knee in Kilroy's back and pulls back on his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. working down Kilroy Evans' back, first with the bow & arrow and then with the surfboard. He grabs hold of those red, white, & blue wristbanded wrists and yanks back on his arms. Ron Reid asking Evans if he wants to give it up but Kilroy won't have it.
(Tanner irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana but Kilroy reverses it into a powerbomb!! He crouches over Tanner's limp body and bludgeons his face with headbutts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans headbutting Tanner over & over. He applies an armbar to Tanner's arm now, clamping down on the arm. He then bites on Tanner's arm!
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl and Kilroy Evans have been seeing alot of each other lately.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (furiously typing away on his laptop) I'm breaking the story. I can't wait to see the look on their faces at RKOnews.com when they see how I scooped those bitches. Can I use you as a source, sir?
Phil Blauer: (ruffles his hair) Sure can.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "Rumors have abounded about just what is the relationship between Kilroy Evans and Horror Girl. A strikingly handsome source has told me that, while unconfirmed, Kilroy may or may not be knocking the bottom out of that. Maybe even as we speak. No comment from Emily Evans, if that is her real name, but sources close to her say they don't really know who she is."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips Tanner into the ropes and takes him off with a roundhouse kick! He applies an STF on Arizona's Most Wanted! He pulls up on Tanner's head.
Phil Blauer: I gotta say, Kilroy definately showing more matwork than I'm used to seeing from him.
(Kilroy whacks him with a few forearm smashes and then reapplies the crossface! After some agonizing moments, he pulls Tanner to his feet in a waistlock. He german suplexes Tanner with a nice bridge)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for a piledriver, but Tanner blocks it and back body drops him over. He hooks Evans and gives him a snap suplex. He rolls his hips and pulls him up into a second snap suplex! He rolls up for a third one, but Kilroy blocks it and reverses with a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the ropes, but Adrian tumbles underneath a big boot, he shows up on the other side with The Daytripper superkick!!
(The crowd cheers and Kilroy Evans rolls out of the ring to keep Tanner from capitalizing. Tanner steps through the ropes out on to the apron. He gets a running start and huracanranas Kilroy Evans on the floor!! The fans get louder, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner back up on the apron, gets a running start and goes for a 7 year itch but Kilroy rolls out of the way!!
Phil Blauer: Tanner's chest hit that concrete hard, and now Kilroy Evans is just rubbing his face into The Staples Center floor!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rolls Tanner onto the apron. He pulls him up into a three quarter nelson then drops him with The Bad Touch off of the apron onto the concrete!!
(The Los Angeleans change their minds and start chanting "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" Kilroy climbs up on to the apron, and comes off with an elbow drop that Adrian Tanner Jr. avoids)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. double underhooks Kilroy's arms and gives him a tiger driver '91 on the floor!!
Phil Blauer: That tiger driver was SO '91.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He rolls Kilroy back into the ring and applies an abdominal stretch. He's continuing to work the spot that was just dumped so unceremoniously on the concrete.
(He plants his foot and pulls back on Kilroy's arm. He punches him a few times in the kidneys as Reid checks in to see if he wants to submit. He turns it into a corkscrew neckbreaker! Some pockets of fans around The Staples Center applaud as Tanner hooks the leg)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner waistlocks Evans, but Kilroy back elbows him in the face to escape the german.
Phil Blauer: He calls that his Anne Frank Attic Escape.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No he doesn't.
Phil Blauer: (goes back to doodling on his index cards) ...he should.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy kicks Tanner in the guts and then DDTs him! He runs into the ropes and baseball slide kicks his head!
(The fans cheer. Kilroy Evans straddles over top of him and rains down on Tanner with punches. He gets up and scrapes his boot across the Tanner's face. He pulls him up into a full nelson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans dragon suplexes Adrian Tanner Jr., no bridge, all impact! He waits for Tanner to get up. When he does, Kilroy comes full speed ahead into a spear, but Tanner catches him with a spinning DDT!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. hooks Kilroy up and vertical suplexes him. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle and waits for Evans to get to his feet. He flips over him with a blockbuster)
Phil Blauer: For years I've hated that move. Now I've just grown numb.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think you mean dumb. Adrian Tanner Jr. irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, and then drop toe holds his throat on to the second rope! He runs into the ropes and comes back to jump on Kilroy's back, but Kilroy moves and Tanner's throat hits the second rope the same way!
(Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and elbow drops Tanner's back. He pulls Tanner up and then sits him on the top turnbuckle. Evans gets a running start and then clotheslines him to the floor below! The LA audience cheers Tanner's clumsy fall to the concrete)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls a table out from underneath the ring and sets it up at ringside. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He sticks his finger in his mouth and checks the wind, then splashes Tanner through the table on the floor!!!
(The Staples Center is deafening with chants of "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" Kilroy pulls him up by the hair and swings him headfirst into the guardrail!! Tanner clutches his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans grabs Tanner by the legs and spinebusters his back into the railing!!
Phil Blauer: That could have busted his spine! They should call it something like that like...backbreaker!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rolls Tanner back into the ring and then pulls his head into his legs. Evans lifts him up into a crucifix but Tanner falls on his feet behind him, he runs into the ropes and comes back with a flying body press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner climbs to the top turnbuckle and turns into a 180 corkscrew splash but there's no water in the pool!!
(Kilroy Evans bends Tanner's legs at the knees and crosses his ankles similar to an inverted Indian deathlock. Kilroy then lays on top of him, with his legs pointing towards Tanner's upperbody. Kilroy holds the legs down with his back, using his own legs to hook Adrian's arms. Kilroy forces Tanner's head forward into the mat, while laying back on Adrian's crossed ankles and has hooked his arms under the Tanner's knees; pulling upward and wrenching on them)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner is locked up in The Firewater Burn!! He rocks back & forth on Tanner's knees, as Adrian's screams can be heard in the cheap seats that I get for my parents.
Phil Blauer: (waves to the back) Hi, Mr. & Mrs. O'Bannon!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner is in some kind of pain here. Ron Reid begging him to quit.
Phil Blauer: Ron should really learn to mind his own buisness. Is all I'm sayin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans having a hell of a match tonight, trying to get back into contention for Lucifer Jones' Hardkore America title. Kilroy releases The Firewater Burn and scoops him up into a slam, but Tanner falls behind him and whacks him upside the head with an inzuigiri!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. waistlocks Kilroy Evans and german suplexes him. He pulls him back up to his feet and hits him with a second german suplex. He lifts an exhausted Kilroy up again in the waistlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. gives Kilroy a third rolling german suplex and bridges this one!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner climbs up to the top turnbuckle and front flips into a 450 legdrop that Kilroy's not there for!
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans, the unreliable landing pad.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You say that like it's a bad thing. Kilroy Evans irish whips Tanner chestfirst into the turnbuckles and follows him in with a spear to the back! Kilroy climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with an elbow drop to Tanner's sternum!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs and jumps on Tanner's back with The Piggyback but Tanner drops to his knees and catches Kilroy's throat on the top rope! He inverted russian legsweeps Kilroy's face into the turnbuckle!
(Adrian Tanner sits on Evans' back and full nelsons him. He presses Evans face into the canvas, while applying pressure to the back of his neck. Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. working down Evans' neck with a form of the cattle mutilation. He then pulls Kilroy up to his feet in the full nelson and dragon suplexes him! He maintains the full nelson and pulls Kilroy up to his feet again. He steps up to the second turnbuckle and full nelson bulldogs Kilroy's face into the mat!!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, he leaps off into a huracanrana into a spinning DDT, but Kilroy uses the momentum to death valley driver his head into the canvas!! The crowd leaps to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs off the ropes and soccer kicks Tanner in the chest while he's on his knees! He applies a rear naked choke and bridges Tanner backwards over Evans' side. Tanner's face turns red from lack of oxygen.
(Tanner tries to get his fingers underneath the forearm of Kilroy Evans, but no go. He kicks his legs out wildly, clamping down on Tanner's windpipe. Kilroy releases it and pulls Evans' head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans crucifix powerbombs Adrian Tanner Jr.!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans presses Tanner over his head and then drops him down onto his shoulder, runs into the center of the ring and Ultimate Thump powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for The Bad Touch but Tanner pushes him off into the turnbuckles! He drops Evans with a TKO neckbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. pulls himself up into the middle of the top rope, and springboards off into a senton but Kilroy rolls out of the way!! Kilroy Evans irish whips him into the ropes and hits him with a big boot to the face! He lifts him up into a back suplex and then drops him in his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center lets out a big pop and Kilroy Evans leaps to his feet with his arms raised in victory. "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays as Reid raises Evans arm)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 58 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...KILROY EVANS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. wore down Kilroy's back this entire match, but The Attgury Assassin was still able to pull this one out. Kilroy Evans shows that an old dog can surely learn new tricks with a new arsenal of high impact moves that we're not used to from the ground & pounder.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of which, Kilroy Evans is the Official Wrestler of Hamburger Helper. "Hamburger Helper...it Makes a Great Meal."
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe Jonnie gave you the sponsorship reads.
Phil Blauer: Who would buy Hamburger Helper from you?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. lost this battle but looking to get a title shot against Kilroy's stablemates for the Hardkore World Tag Team titles with his partner, Syberus. But both he and Kilroy have to put that out of their minds and look forward to the barbed wire hell they have in front of them in Cleveland at Hardkore Helloween.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is our match between former Hardkore World Women's Champion Horror Girl and Highlight Reel with highlites, Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: Vagabond got highlites?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, but it sounded cool.
("Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She slaps everyone's hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond has been a huge high spot in the women's division the past few months and is one of "Sexy" Anjanette Turner's biggest contenders.
Phil Blauer: What about Brandi?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, if she ever shows up. Sure.
Phil Blauer: Touche.
Yolanda Ando: Vagabond has dark hair, a green tanktop and stretch pants.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 102 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(The Los Angeles audience gives her a huge ovation. Then "Haunted" by Evanescence plays and Mr.Fame and Bernice Biggs walk out to no pop. Horror Girl pushes them both out of the way only pausing to tilting her head towards the camera. When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at the entranceway)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl is looking to get her title belt back from Sexy Anj. A win over the the high flying Vagabond would definately put her in line for that.
Phil Blauer: You know what she needs? A feller. A nice guy to take her out and put a little color in those pasty rotting cheeks. Hopefully, she can keep her mind on the match. With her pending lawsuit with Vampira, she could be distracted from her match tonight. I know what it's like to work with pending litigation, or a warrant for your arrest...
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing her tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by Bernice Biggs and Mr. Fame; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(The audience boos. Horror Girl pushes Mr. Fame out of her way and runs at Vagabond, clawing her in the face with her razor sharp nails. She hangs on to his face for a bit, screeching then throws her to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Fame laughs at Vagabond, but she gets up and dropkicks him right in the grapes! Horror Girl comes from behind her and headlocks her.
(The fans cheer as Bernice Biggs helps a soprano Mr. Fame out of the ring. Horror Girl rope burns Vagabond's neck on the top rope. She then lifts Vagabond up by the throat with both arms and chokes the life out of her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl turns her over into a powerslam! She irish whips Vagabond into the ropes, but Vagabond comes back with a lou thez press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond runs into the ropes and takes Horror Girl down with a flying head scissors! She headlocks Horror Girl and goes for a bulldog, but Horror Girl pushes her off into the turnbuckle!
(Horror Girl scoops Vagabond up and bodyslams her hard into the mat. Vagabond gets up to her knees and catches a dropkick into her sternum. Horror Girl jams her fingers between Vagabond's and neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl applies a nerve hold to the shoulder of Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: It's not gonna cause a whole lot of people to submit, but it sure does hurt. Like an episode of Yes, Dear.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl will bites Vagabond's shoulder hard enough to break the skin! She crotch-ties Vagabond's arm through her legs and pulls her up into a pumphandle shoulderbreaker!
(The blood from Vagabond's shoulder stains the mummy wrap on Horror Girl's knee. Horror Girl then lifts Vagabond over her head in an inverted crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond gets loose and falls behind Horror Girl on her feet. She grabs her from behind in an inverted facelock, and drops down into an inverted DDT! She irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes and hits her with a huracanrana!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes down with a 747 splash!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond applies a crippler crossface on Horror Girl! She pulls up on her head & arm!
(Mr. Fame looks down his pants and screams at Bernice Biggs, "I need ice!" Bernice looks down there as well and says "A little swelling could help things." Vagabond links her hands together and gives a hard tug on her head. Horror Girl rolls her over into a cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Vagabond releases the crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Bernice gets up on the apron and shakes the cropes, crotching Vagabond on the top turnbuckle. Horror Girl climbs to the second rope and butterflies both her arms. She double underhook superplexes her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl grabs her by the hair and twists, then tosses Vagabond over the top rope to the floor! Horror Girl then runs and jumps on the middle of the top rope and springboard dropkicks Vagabond into the guardrail!!
(Vagabond bounces off the security railing, and drops to floor. Bernice Biggs pulls her up and irish whips her into Horror Girl who gives her a huracanrana onto the steel steps!! The sound of it rings through The Staples Center)
Phil Blauer: Ouch! The force of that nearly knocked over my...Guillermo's Hard Rasberry Iced Tea.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls back into the ring and waits for Vagabond to join her. Vagabond climbs up to the apron, but Horror Girl latches on the sides of her head with her nails. She kicks her legs out from under her and drops her throat on the top rope!
(Vagabond falls back into the railing! Horror Girl reaches out through the ropes and grabs Vagabond by the hair. She pulls her back in, pausing only to take a chomp out of her neck. Blood flows from Horror Girl's teeth, as Vagabond kicks & flails)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She pulls Vagabond back in, but Vagabond flips over her into a tarantula! She has her pinned against those ropes with no escape!
Phil Blauer: Normally hot, but I'll let this one pass.
(Blood drips from Vagabond's neck & shoulder onto the apron below. She flips back over into the ring and tornado punches Horror Girl so hard she flips over the ropes on to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond grabs the ropes and slingshots herself into a pescado dive on top of Horror Girl on the floor! She climbs up onto the apron, hops onto the middle of the second rope, and backflips into an asai moonsault that knocks Horror Girl into the railing!!
(The fans cheer and chant "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" She rolls Horror Girl into the ring, and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond flips & twists into a corkscrew legdrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond atomic drops Horror Girl on to the top turnbuckle and then pulls her upside down into a tree of woe. She backs up and running baseball slide kicks Horror Girl, but HG sits up and Vagabond crotches herself under the turnbuckles on the cornerpost!
(The audience boos. Horror Girl steps out and applies an anklelock with her leg wrapped around the ringpost. Vagabond cries out and tries to crawl away, but Horror Girl wrenches her foot as hard as she can)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl wrapping that leg of Vagabond's against that steel post. Vagabond finally kicks her off into the railing! She climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and corkscrew moonsaults Horror Girl on the floor!!
(The chants of "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" start up again. Horror Girl grabs two handfuls of Vagabond's hair and bites her cheek)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl biting Vagabond's cheek and then headbutts her face over & over. She rolls Vagabond into the ring and steps on the backs of both of her knees. She double toe holds her legs and then bridges her up in the air with a sleeper hold.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Vagabond submits. She can't answer since Horror Girl has her head clamped in a sleeper. She bounces Vagabond's legs up & down with her powerful calves)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl releases the sleeper hold and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Vagabond shakes the top rope and crotches her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook. Vagabond climbs to the second rope and hooks her in a suplex, then steps up to the top rope and drops her with a Suicidaplex!! The momentum causes her to roll on top of Horror Girl!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips off with a senton splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond hops to the bottom rope and backflips into a moonsault! She hops up to the second rope and moonsaults her again!! She hops up to the top rope and backflips into a third moonsault but Horror Girl puts her knees up!! Horror Girl capitalizes with a pumphandle into a german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Vagabond up and then drives her on to the back of her neck with a tigerdriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl waits for Vagabond to struggle to her feet, then spears her into a short spinebuster!! She scoops her up but Vagabond falls behind Horror Girl on her feet. She smacks Horror Girl upside the head with a superkick!
(The Staples Center comes alive! Vagabond applies an anklelock on Horror Girl, giving her a reciept for the stunt she pulled on the cornerpost. Vagabond wraps her legs around Horror Girl's thigh and then drops down into an on-the-mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond tries to twist Horror Girl's foot off. Something tells me a new one could just grow back.
Phil Blauer: You know she's from Houston, don't you?
Guillermo O'Bannon: She runs into the ropes, hops on the middle of the second rope and lionsaults Horror Girl!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes but she comes back and spits a fog of blood in Vagabond's face.
Phil Blauer: Ew.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts a blinded Vagabond up into an inverted crucifix and drops her on to her face in an inverted razor's edge!!
(While Vagabond is face down on the floor, Horror Girl sits down on her back and hooks her arm under Vagabond's and under her neck. Then, she hooks Vagabond's leg with her other arm. After clasping her hands together, she lifts her up off the mat and racks Vagabond over her back. When Horror Girl locks her hands together, this puts tremendous pressure on on the back, neck, shoulder and leg)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Zombiosis!! Horror Girl bends the smaller Vagabond across her back! Mike Peters checks in to see if she wants to give it up but Delaware's bravest wrestler refuses to submit! Horror Girl spins round & round to see if that does it, but nothing.
(Horror Girl drops Vagabond to the mat. As Vagabond gets to her knees, Horror Girl comes up from behind and locks her legs around the Vagabond's waist. She then puts a crossface sleeper hold and arches back, pulling Vagabond with her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Out of The Zombiosis into Spider's Woe! Horror Girl is arched perfectly on the mat while Vagabond is stretched in a sleeper. Mike Peters continuing to ask her if she wants to give it up.
(The Los Angeles crowd claps faster & faster, urging Vagabond to break Spider's Woe. Vagabond finally arches back and pins Horror Girl's shoulder to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl releases Spider's Woe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl turns around and is monkey flipped across the ring! Horror Girl gets up again and is hit in the stomach with a spear!
(Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press!! The fans erupt into applause)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond grabs two handfuls of Horror Girl's hair and bulldogs her face into the mat! She climbs to the top rope, then tucks & rolls into a 450 splash but Horror Girl rolls out of the way!!
(The fans boo, as Vagabond knocks the wind out of herself. Horror Girl front facelocks Vagabond's head and climbs to the second rope and tornado DDTs her! The boos get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Vagabond on to her shoulder but Vagabond takes her over into a huracanrana!! The crowd is back in this one, and Vagabond goes for a DDT but Horror Girl back body drops her! Horror Girl applies an armbar to Vagabond.
(Some "Booo-ring" chants start up around small pockets of The Staples Center. Horror Girl begins chomping down on Vagabond's fingers, until Mike Peters manually has to pull them out. Horror Girl then shows her massive strength by lifting her off her feet by her armbarred arm)
Phil Blauer: That's amazing!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl then points Vagabond's head towards the mat and DDTs her into the mat!!
(The audience winces at the impact, and Horror Girl turns her over into a pinning position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl goes for a belly to back suplex but Vagabond reverses it over into a headlock takedown! Horror Girl steps right into a savatte kick by Vagabond!
(The crowd applauds, and Vagabond climbs up to the top rope. She comes off with a frog splash but Horror Girl puts her knees up again!! Horror Girl grabs her by the hair and yanks her to the mat. She quickly drops a sharp elbow to her throat. She atomic drops Vagabond on the top turnbuckle and then pulls her upside down in a tree of woe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl stands back to belly against her in the corner. Standing on Vagabond's arms, she slips Vagabond's legs through the rope and begins pulling in The Coffin of Woe! She turns around and slugs Vagabond in her exposed stomach.
(Horror Girl wraps the mummy wrappings around Vagabond's throat. She tosses Vagabond over the ropes and hangs her with the bandages! Vagabond kicks the backs of her heels into the apron, as her face turns red)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond finds the apron with her feet and then gets a good footing. She has a big forearm smash for Horror Girl! She pulls on the top rope and slingshots herself on the middle of the top rope and comes off with a springboard spinning kick!!
(Vagabond pulls Horror Girl up on her shoulder and then drives the back of her neck with a samurai driver!! She cradles her legs)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl raises her arm)
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl showing signs of fatigue after showing up at The Exorcism of Emily Rose premiere down the street at Mann's Chinese Theatre.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the second rope and hits a split-legged moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond goes for a thez press but Horror Girl catches her legs and drops her throat on the top rope! Horror Girl sits her on the top turnbuckle then climbs on to the second rope. Horror Girl monkey flips her from off the top rope!!
(The Los Angeles audience jeers and boos. Horror Girl irish whips Vagabond but she reverses it and sends Horror Girl into the corner. Horror Girl puts the breaks on before she hits the turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond follows her in but Horror Girl drop toe holds her face into the turnbuckle. Horror Girl grabs onto her Vagabond's legs and hits her with an ocean cyclone suplex! She's hanging on to her legs and applies a double ankle lock and pull it back into a boston crab! Series of Unholy Events!
(Horror Girl pulls back on Vagabond's legs and bridges back, putting painful pressure on his back. Mike Peters checks in to see if Vagabond wants to submit but she shakes her head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts Vagabond up in a hanging suplex and drops forward into a uranage!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl holds Vagabond in a set-up for a hangman's neckbreaker, then runs up the turnbuckles into a spinning neckbreaker!! She pulls Vagabond up in a headlock, and tries to bite her, but Vagabond belly to back suplexes her! Vagabond irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes and hits her with the heel of her boot in Horror Girl's nose!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips off into a corkscrew 450 splash!! The crowd erupts in applause)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Horror Girl gets her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond implant DDTs Horror Girl into the canvas! She leaps onto the middle of the top rope and springboard moonsault splashes her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is back up on the top turnbuckle, she front flips into her gorgeous swanton dive but Horror Girl moves out of the way!! She inverted facelocks Vagabond and lifts her up into an Oh, The Horror flapjacked ace crusher!! She rolls her over to pin her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
("Haunted" by Evanescence plays and the LA Staples Center boos Horror Girl. She snarls and growls at the jeering fans. Mr. Fame limps into the ring with the help of Bernice Biggs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl defeats Vagabond in a show stealer!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 44 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Horror Girl raises her arm, and spits out some blood on Vagabond. Mr. Fame leads her back to the locker room)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner has a wide open field of contenders, and one of them has just moved to the top of the list tonight. Both these ladies will have another chance at one another in the big $100,000 battle royal for Hardkore World Women's division at Hardkore Helloween in Cleveland, Ohio.
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Sep 10, 2005#14
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Phoenix, five women battled each other to become the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's Champion at Hardkore Helloween.
Phil Blauer: And went a little something like this. Hit it!
(Video plays with the caption: Phoenix, 8/19/05)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley scoops up Tammy, but Tammy slips behind Alley and lands in an inverted facelock. She drops her in an scorpion deathdrop! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tammy's lying on her stomach, Alley hooks Sanchez's arm under her leg, crosses her ankles, and pulls back on her legs in a tequila sunrise! She pulls back on her arm and leg trying to get a submission out of her before the time limit expires.
(Sanchez cries out in pain, as Alley tries to bend her arm & leg in half. Ron Reid checks in to see if Tammy wants to tap out, Sanchez is not answering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has had some arm issues the entire match and her leg was broken in March. This could be it!
(The bell rings and the audience cheers. Alley releases the tequila sunrise and raises her arms in victory. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the loudspeaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She got in just under the wire, but Alley is going to Los Angeles to wrestle the winner of tonight's match between Ashley & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the time limit has expired. Referee Ron Reid has ruled this match...A DRAW!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and Alley kicks the bottom rope in frustration. Tamara Sanchez spins Ron Reid around and starts arguing with him. Fades out to present day Guillermo O'Bannon and Phil Blauer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: So Hardkore Jonnie Valentine booked tonight's match between Alley & Tammy where the winner will go on to wrestle either "Sexy" Anjanette Turner or Ashley in Cleveland at Hardkore Helloween. Ever since, Alley and Tamara Sanchez have had some nasty words for one another.
Phil Blauer: Mostly about Tammy's laundry. It's where wrestling insults have never gone before.
(The lights get dim in The Staples Center as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays over the loud speakers. Alley walks out to the roar of the LA fans. She smiles at them and walks down the aisle, slapping their hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley making quite an impact here on the West Coast since her debut in the threeway dance between Ashley & Vagabond. She went the distance with four of the best women wrestlers in Hardkore America & Hardkore Britain.
Phil Blauer: Alley's tiger almost made quite an impact backstage.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'm wiping up the last of it right now, sir.
Yolanda Ando: Alley wears black pants with a gray pullover. Her black hair is shoulder length and she has a single white braid on the right side. She wears black lipstick.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. The referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Lacey Springs, Virginia; standing 5 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 105 pounds...ALLEY!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans cheer. Then the lights in The Staples Center start to flicker. The pyros explode and “Alive” by Saliva hits. A red spotlight points on the entrance showing an unmoving Tamara Sanchez. She lifts her head presenting the two crosses painted under her eyes. Slowly she walks down the ramp ignoring the booing fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has changed her look and her attitude since a knee injury by Brandi in Seattle back in April. Now she looks to win back the title she lost to Xyrynth at Palm Springs Punishment in March. And Alley would be the perfect person to go through.
Yolanda Ando: Sanchez wearing some ripped jeans, a black shirt saying “fuck me” on the front and “fuck you” on the back. Her hair is in black dreadlocks.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, from New York City...
(The LA crowd yells out "NEW YORK CITY???")
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
(The Staples Center boos her. Alley walks over and slaps Sanchez across the face for all the stuff she's been talking. Sanchez ducks a punch and atomic drops her into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara charges in to the corner, but Alley has a boot to the face waiting for her. Alley front facelocks Sanchez, then flips over into a Shiranoi neckbreaker!
(Alley pulls Sanchez's "Fuck You"/"Fuck Me" t-shirt up and then rakes her nails down her back as hard as she can. Tammy's back arches in pain. Alley runs into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley comes off the ropes with a flying body press but Sanchez catches her and drops her across her knee with a backbreaker! Sanchez irish whips Alley into the ropes and catches her on the way back with a sidewalk slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez runs into the ropes, hops over Alley and then jumps onto the middle of the second rope. She backflips into a lionsault but Alley puts up her knees for Tammy to land on!!
(The crowd comes alive as Sanchez clutches her stomach and coughs. Alley double underhooks both of Tamara's arms then lifts her up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley drops Sanchez's shoulder onto her knee with a Colt 45!! She then rolls her leg & arm up into the tequila sunrise! Sanchez knows this move well. It was how she spent the final moments of her match in Phoenix.
Phil Blauer: Plus she's been drenched in tequila by the boys a few times at the after parties we have after the show. If you want to read more, check out "Phil's Road Stories". Now at available at www.books-on-tape.com
(Alley rocks back & forth with Sanchez's arm & leg. Mike Peters checks in to see if she taps out. Alley finally releases the tequila sunrise and climbs to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Tammy to get to her feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley comes off the top with a beautiful skytwister press!!
(The crowd rocks with cheers. Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes, and goes for a huracanrana but Tammy catches her legs and powerbombs her!! The Staples Center boos, while Sanchez points to her brain)
Phil Blauer: The veteran catches Alley looking. And that makes her VERY smart.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez lifts Alley onto her shoulders in a fireman's carry. She then gets a running start and somersault slams her! She climbs up to the top turnbuckle and then comes down with a swan dive headbutt to Alley's forehead & face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley lifts her shoulder up)
Phil Blauer: When she comes off the top like that she's all dreadlocks. It's like if Edge hadn't bathed in a while. Wait, that's what Snitsky looks like.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez front facelocks her and cradles her leg. She cradle DDTs Alley!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs to the top from inside the ring, but before she can moonsault Alley, Alley sweeps out her legs! Sanchez crotches herself on the steel cable hook. She pulls Tammy back by the dreadlocks into a tree of woe. Alley backs up, gets a running start and dropkicks her in the stomach!
(The crowd cheers, and Sanchez falls off the top, clutching her stomach. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a corkscrew legdrop!! The fans go wild)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley hits an Infrared legdrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley grapevines Tamara Sanchez's leg and then turns her over into an STF!! Alley clings onto Sanchez's throat like it's the last trunk off of the Titanic.
(Alley pulls back on Sanchez's head, pulling it towards her toes. Mike Peters asks Tammy if she submits, but Tammy spits back in his face, cursing in German. Alley releases the STF and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley backflips into a Christo super rana!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and dips her head down for a backdrop. But Tammy waits for Alley to stand back up then hits an RKO!
(The Staples Center boos. Sanchez steps out through the ropes onto the apron. She pulls on the top rope and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez springboard bulldogs Alley's face into the mat!! She rolls her over into a pinning position!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez irish whips Alley into the ropes and then floors her with a flying tackle! She runs back into the ropes and takes Alley over into a flying head scissors that sends her across the ring!
(The audience boos. Tamara climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a five star frog splash but Alley runs up to the second turnbuckle and cracks her in the face! Alley wraps her legs around the top rope and waistlocks her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley spider belly to belly superplexes Tamara Sanchez!! The audience goes wild! Alley is hanging upside down from the top rope and then sits back up on to the top turnbuckle. She then flips off into a somersault senton but Sanchez catches her by the legs and powerbombs her!!
(The Staples Center boos. Tamara Sanchez scoops Alley up and fallaway slams her over the top rope onto the floor! Alley hits the apron on the way down and hurts her elbow. Tamara Sanchez climbs out to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy gets a running start along the apron and backflips into her 7 Year Inch but there's no water in the pool!! Tammy's chest hit the concrete hard! Alley pulls Tammy up by the dreadlocks and then tosses the back of her head into the steel railing!
(The audience cheers. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a Yang Time splash on the floor!! The Los Angeles fans chant "AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!!")
Phil Blauer: Wow!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley leaving it all out there!
Phil Blauer: Where?!?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley grabs a cup of $7.50 beer out of a fan's hand. She throws it into Tammy's eyes!
(Tamara tries to wipe the beer out of her face and dreadlocks, but Alley brains her in the head with a steel chair!! She begins searching underneath the ring, and pulls out a German flag)
Phil Blauer: Hey, did the Schmutzhausens leave that under there?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley takes a full swing and cracks the German flagpole across Tamara Sanchez's back! Now she begins clearing our table...
Phil Blauer: Hey, that's mi-... Gullermo's Hard Rasberry Iced Tea!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I've been in this business long enough to grab my drink when wrestlers come a' callin. Alley pulls Tammy up by the dreadlocks, but Tammy scratches her eyes! She kicks Alley in the stomach and then DDTs her on our table!!
(The table breaks where Alley's head lands. The crowd pops at the sound it makes. They're simple like that. Sanchez rolls Alley into the ring, and then slides a table into the ring. She sets it up in the center of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy has another table, and irish whips Alley into the ropes. She tiltawhirls Alley onto her shoulder into a powerslam through the press table!!
(The audience boos Tammy as she collapses on top of Alley in the broken table rubble)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy pulls Alley up to her feet, but Alley pokes her in the eye with her long fingernail! Alley lifts Tammy up onto her shoulders in a human torture rack.
(Alley bends Tammy's spine across her shoulders while Peters clears the table rubble out of the ring. Alley then swings Sanchez around into a Hercules cutter neckbreaker! The Staples Center cheers)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for her to stand up. When she does Alley nearly takes her head off with a Dai Chan Bomber lariot!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley runs into the ropes and hops onto the middle of the second rope. She backflips into an asai moonsault but Tammy catches her and powerslams her! Tammy climbs to the top turnbuckle and front flips into a tight 450 splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
(The Los Angeles fans give both ladies a standing ovation for such a good match. Tammy stands up and gives them two middle fingers, getting them to boo her again. Sanchez gut wrenches Alley up onto her shoulder and then she tigerbombs her on to the back of her head)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara jumps onto the second turnbuckle, hops onto the top rope with her legs split and uses the momentum to backflip into a moonsault splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley gets her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez sits Alley on the top turnbuckle. She climbs to the second rope and lifts her up on her shoulders in a fireman's carry. Before she can complete the death valley driver Alley spins around into a super bulldog!!
(Sanchez bounces off her face onto her side. The crowd erupts in applause. Alley wraps Tammy's head up with her own arm and bridges into an anaconda vice! Mike Peters checks in to see if she submits but Sanchez refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy tries to roll out of the anaconda vice, but Alley has her feet planted strongly. Alley squeezes Sanchez's head against her own armpit. She then releases the submission and runs into the ropes and jumps onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a quebrada!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley hooks her into a cradle suplex then spins it into a three-handed moss-covered family gredunza!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She grabs Sanchez and flips her over into a jujigatame cross armbar! Sanchez struggles to her feet with Alley still attached to her arm, but Alley flips her back down onto her back in the jujigatame!
(The audience applauds. Sanchez curses, and then gets back to her feet with Alley hanging off her again. This time Sanchez stomps Alley in the face. She lifts Alley up into a front facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez drops Alley with a twist of fate!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying spear but Alley catches her and DDTs her!! The crowd is on their feet! Alley lifts Sanchez up on her shoulder and drills her dreadlocked head into the mat with a death valley driver!!
(Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle but Tamara Sanchez rolls out of the way of a skytwister press!! Sanchez puts her leg over the back of Alley's neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy hits the rocker dropper! She climbs up to the top rope and this time hits her with the five star frog splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy belly to belly suplexes Alley up so high that she lands on her feet behind Sanchez. She irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and drives her head into the mat with a huracanrana!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley tumbles into a liger kick to Tammy's face! She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a reverse DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley gets underneath Sanchez and lifts her into a human torture rack but Tammy lands behind her and whacks her upside the head with a superkick!
(The fans boo and Tamara goes outside and snatches a chair from a young kid in the front row. She slides into the ring and swings at Alley with it, but it just misses Alley's head when she ducks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy misses with that chair! Alley kicks Sanchez in the gut, that makes her drop the chair. Alley then takes a swing at her but Tammy ducks the punch. Sanchez goes behind her and belly to back suplexes Alley's head onto that steel chair!! She pins her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Phil Blauer: That was close!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a 7 Year Inch!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley gets her foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez runs into the ropes and flips over Alley into a sunset flip, but Alley sits down on Tammy's shoulders!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
(Tammy dips into the pocket of her jeans and Alley cartwheels into her spinning huracanrana!! She cradles the leg and Mike Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center cheers as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the PA. Tammy reveals she has some brass knuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley goes on to Cleveland, Ohio!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 52 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...ALLEY!!!"
(Tamara Sanchez slugs Alley in the back of the head with the brass knuckles. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” stops dead, and the silence fills with boos. Sanchez slides underneath the ropes to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy looking underneath the ring and finds...a sledgehammer! She slides into the ring and winds back, she smashes Alley's arm!!
(Alley shrieks in pain, and Tamara uses the handle to jam it into her shoulder with all her might! The fans rain garbage into the ring, and Tammy steps on the back of Alley's wrist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy winds back with that sledgehammer...
Phil Blauer: She's gonna break her arm!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is in the ring and snatches the hammer out of Tammy's hands! She superkicks Sanchez in the face!
(The crowd leaps to their feet, and Tammy scurries out of the ring. A smile of self-satisfaction on her face. Pain is etched across the face of Alley as she clings to her broken arm. She looks up to see Vagabond standing over her with the sledgehammer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley scoots away from Vagabond with the hammer in her hand!
(Vagabond sees the hammer in her hand and drops it. She reassures Alley that it wasn't her, while EMTs rush to stabilize her arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley is slated to fight the winner of tonight's Leather Strap Match between Ashley and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner at Hardkore Helloween on PPV.
Phil Blauer: (gets nudged by Guillermo) Huh...? Oh. But what shape will she be in?
(The Shootfighter is doing some calisthentics in his locker room as he warms up for his match with Tatsuyi Arakawa. He is dressed in his black knee length
wrestling tights and black wrestling boots his chest length dark hair is tied in a pony tail.)
The Shootfighter: "Tatsuyi Arakawa the so-called 'Saikyo Terrorist.' Tonight one of us is going to start rebounding after our respective defeats. I have the intention of making sure your losing streak extends and mine continues."
(He does a split legged drop and continues to
stretch.)
The Shootfighter: "Tonight is just a warm up for our other match and you know where that is and believe me it's going to be even more bloodier than this one is
going to be. I hope you are in the best shape of your career because I am going to be in even better shape than you are. I don't want no excuses if you lose."
(He springs up after finishing.)
The Shootfighter: "Arakawa you show no respect for me. Yet what happens if you get defeated by me? Are you going to acknowledge it or are you going to make excuses for the loss. I know you won't do something so stupid as not to honor the person who defeats you and that person shall be me."
(The Shootfighter puts on his black robe with the red dragon on the back. A look of hate, rage and fury begins to form on his face.)
The Shootfighter: "Arakawa you shall be the one that shall feel the terror when I make you feel pain that you've never before! You won't like the beating that I shall dish out on you! I shall make sure you don't! You shall feel more agony than Evans dealt you in your last match!"
(The Shootfighter picks up his stainless steel singapore cane and twirls it in his fingers a bit.)
The Shootfighter: "You see I'm going to take my hate, rage and fury out on someone for the loss of my West Coast Title! Unfortunately it had to be you and I shall make sure when it explodes you shall feel it and feel it like no one else has felt it before! It shall be the same when we meet again but I shall make sure you are more brutally hurt than this match!"
(The Shootfighter grows even more angrier.)
The Shootfighter: "Prepare Arakawa for the match of your life! Prepare to be sent to the hospital! Prepare for Mortal Kombat!"
(The scene slowly fades to Guillermo & Phil at ringside)
Phil Blauer: So did I tell you about the way I re-did my place?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Did you wind up going with that cowboy studio apartment thing you were talking about?
Phil Blauer: No, the opposite. I did my place Injun!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Native American?
Phil Blauer: No, I’m from Ventura originally. I knocked down all four walls and set up a teepee.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What did your landlord say?
Phil Blauer: Hard to tell after the stroke. It all came out “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm”. It’s great Guillermo. I sleep under the stars. I am close with nature.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Isn’t it hot?
Phil Blauer: Sure, but it isn’t anything a little stark raving nudity doesn’t cure. My Indian name is Phil Tanned Plums. How.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter recently lost his Hardkore West Coast title to Zack Daniels in a thrilling match that ended with some interference from the Hardkore World Women’s Champion “Sexy” Anjanette Turner. Now he must put that out of his mind and focus on a wrestler that was brought in especially for him and his style, Tatsuya Arakawa. Arakawa was unsuccessful in his initial Hardkore America match with Kilroy Evans. But he hopes tonight will be difference as he wrestles a man with a closer style to his.
(“Mortal Kombat” by The Immortals plays and the audience cheers. The Shootfighter walks down to the ring with Blak Lung & Judge Death. Judge Death is dressed as an old colonial judge, complete with gavel)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter comes in with that no nonsense look.
Phil Blauer: It’s his ShootSmile.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter helped his protege Psychotic Goth defeat "Giant" Baba O'Reilly for the Hardkore Britain Northern Tri-Counties title in Manchester, England. He's hoping he can be just as successful as his student tonight in this best of three falls match.
Yolanda Ando: wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back and wields a stainless steel singapore cane.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Best of Three Falls Match, with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Blak Lung and his manager, Judge Death. From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience cheers The Shootfighter who crosses his arms and waits for Tatsuya Arakawa. "TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the fans boo. Tom Lux leads Arakawa down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa looking to silence The Shootfighter after months of promos for Hardkore America and Nippon, constantly berating him.
Phil Blauer: It's one of the things opponents of The Shootfighter learn to deal with. It's like feuding with Jimmy Hart on crystal meth. Wait, that's redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I wonder what Rated X's return earlier tonight means for Tatsuya Arakawa? You know X has a list and both Williams and his new protege are probably on it.
Phil Blauer: I have a list. Actually, it's more like I'm on some lists. Sex offender lists, do not fly lists, don't accept checks from this individual lists.
Yolanda Ando: Arakawa is wearing blood red biker MMA style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in black. High below-the-knee black boots, black TRACE kneepads & red wrist tape.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Tom Lux; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
(The Staples Center fans give Arakawa a mixed reaction, mostly boos. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Arakawa tags The Shootfighter with a thigh kick. The Shootfighter answers with a muay thai kick to his knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter sweeps Arakawa with a muay thai kick to his ankle. Arakawa gets up and whacks Shootfighter with a shotei palm strike to his face and a uraken spinning backfist! Shootfighter returns with some dragon claw strikes to Tatsuya's chest.
(The Shootfighter starts hitting Arakawa in the kidneys and chest with muay thai kicks. Arakawa catches his leg, and begins whacking Shootfighter's chest red with chops as he hops on one foot)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hangs on to Shootfighter's leg and spins into a rolling solebutt kick! Tatsuya applies a guillotine choke with a body scissors to The Shootfighter's midsection. Arakawa looking to make him tap early to send a message for the rest of this match, and their matches here and on the other side of the Pacific.
(Judge Death and Blak Lung pound on the mat, yelling out encouragement to The Shootfighter. Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out but The Shootfighter refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls on to his stomach and slips out of the guillotine choke, he goes right into an ankle lock from behind Arakawa! The audience gives him some applause for that counter.
(The Shootfighter wrenches Arakawa's ankle to the side. He then wraps his legs around Tatsuya's thigh and drops down into an on-the-mat style ankle lock. Ron Reid slides on to his chest to get face to face with The Saiyko Terrorist. Arakawa refuses to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter releases heel hold and pulls Arakawa to his feet in a waistlock. He drops Arakawa in a german suplex! He pulls him up into a second! The third obligatory trifecta german suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter pounding Arakawa's back with some stiff forearm shots, and another one tattoos the back of his neck. Arakawa blocks one with his forearm and begins peppering Shootfighter with a wild flurry of punches! He irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and then hits him with a flying kneelift!
(Shootfighter drops to the mat and Tatsuya steps over him and pulls his arm over in a kneeling wakigatame. He grips Shootfighter's arm with both hands & pulls back on it with all of his might. Ron Reid in perfect position)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gives a final tug on Shootfighter's arm, then uses it to pull him to his feet. He snapmares The Malaysian Giant over and tags him with two stiff kicks to his spine. Shootfighter struggles to his feet but Arakawa's waiting for him with an axe kick to the back of his head.
(Arakawa waistlocks Shootfighter but he back elbows Tatsuya in the face. Shootfighter then gives him a flurry of dragon claw strikes to his stomach. Then he straightens him up with some muay thai kicks to Arakawa's lower back. The Shootfighter lifts Arakawa on his shoulders with a human torture rack)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter spins Arakawa around and round, then drops him in a Thailand Slam! He applies a sharpshooter on Tatsuya Arakawa! He pulls those legs up high to apply as much pressure to the back he's been working down as possible.
(The audience applauds as Shootfighter rocks back with Arakawa's twisted legs. Ron Reid checks in as Tom Lux screams out instructions in Japanese to Arakawa. Tatsuya balls up his fists in pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa gets to the ropes and Ron Reid forces him to break The ShootCrab. Arakawa pulls himself up and goes for a thigh kick that Shootfighter catches. Tatsuya swings around with a inzuigiri to the back of his head!
(Arakawa limps away from Shootfighter, and Shootfighter takes the advantage with hitting him in the groin from behind. He gives him a second for good measure)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and he comes back with a running STO bomb!! Arakawa capitalizes with a crossarm scissors on that arm he worked down earlier with a kneeling wakigatame.
Phil Blauer: It's also the same arm that's been a nagging injury for Shootfighter since his first match with Big Bad Bill in Denver back in December.
(Shootfighter clutches his arm, shreiking in pain as Arakawa clamps down on them with his powerful legs. The Shootfighter tries to get up but Arakawa is still attached to his arm, squeezing)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls Arakawa back on to his shoulders.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tatsuya Arakawa releases the jujigatame)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets to his feet and catches a reverse knife edge chop to his throat. Shootfighter hits him with another and then applies a clawhold to both of his carotid arteries. The intense pain sends Tatsuya to his knees.
(Arakawa cringes and clutches at Shootfighter's wrists. The Shootfighter then nails Arakawa in the nose several times with hard muay thai strike to his already broken & misshappen nose)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter irish whips Arakawa but Tatsuya reverses it and sends him into the turnbuckles. Arakawa rushes in with a kawada kick to his face!
(Shootfighter falls on his ass, laying against the turnbuckles. Tatsuya Arakawa backs into the corner again and running dropkicks him in the face! Shootfighter's head rocks back against the bottom turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa grabs The Shootfighter's hair, then proceeds to throw some high Muay Thai style kneelifts to his stomach, and ends the Tiger Knees combo with a kneelift to jaw! The Shootfighter staggers back and Tatsuya Arakawa KOs him with a leaping gamengiri kick!! He covers him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 34 seconds, TATSUYA ARAKAWA HAS SCORED THE FIRST FALL."
(The audience boos. Blak Lung rolls the singapore cane in towards The Shootfighter and he grabs hold of it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter staggers up and cracks Arakawa in the head with a stainless steel singapore cane! A second shot sends Arakawa down with a head wound. Arakawa ducks under a third swing of the stainless steel cane from The Shootfighter and then drops him on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!!
(The crowd boos as Shootfighter gets folded up like an accordian. Arakawa leans him against the corner, with his head against the bottom turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter avoids a incoming knee from a bloody Arakawa! He drags Tatsuya into the center of the ring, facedown. He applies a reverse indian deathlock! Arakawa pushes himself up off the mat, his face a crimson mask.
(Blood drips down Arakawa's face into a pool on the mat as The Shootfighter clamps down on his twisted legs. Ron Reid asks Arakawa if he wants to submit, but he refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He releases The Shootfighter Leglock and pulls Arakawa up. He tosses him over the top rope onto the apron. Shootfighter steps out and applies a half nelson. He t-bone suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa off the apron to The Staples Center floor!!
(The LA audience pops loud! Judge Death helps Shootfighter back onto the apron, and Blak Lung pulls Arakawa up there as well. Shootfighter pulls himself up by the ropes and waistlocks him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa knees Shootfighter low to get out of the waistlock. He front facelocks Shootfighter and DDTs him off the apron onto the cement!!
(The crowd gets louder, chanting "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Tatsuya Arakawa reverse waistlocks him, then german suplexes the back of Shootfighter's head onto the guardrail)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter bleeding down his back from that german suplex onto the security railing. Blak Lung comes up behind Arakawa and begins choking him with the stainless steel cane!
(The crowd cheers as Arakawa tries to gets his fingers underneath the cane. Tom Lux goes to help him out, but Judge Death grabs him from behind with a full nelson. While Lung holds him with the cane, The Shootfighter goes to work on his ribs and stomach with dragon claw strikes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter snap suplexes over the top rope back into the ring. He gets on Arakawa's back with a cobra clutch and then put his legs around his waist! The ShootClutch!! Arakawa searching for the bottom rope with his one free arm.
(The Shootfighter rolls on to his back while applying pressure to the back of Arakawa's neck. Tatsuya bleeds down onto Shootfighter's shoulder. Arakawa finally grabs hold of the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid makes The Shootfighter release The ShootClutch. Shootfighter whips Arakawa into the ropes, but Arakawa dives through them and into the second ring!
(The crowd applauds. The Shootfighter attempts to cross into Arakawa's ring but Arakawa runs and smashes him with an enzuigiri! Arakawa follows it with a high kick to head, slap with the left hand, slap with the right, then a spinning chop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa kicks The Shootfighter in the ribs, then he bounces off the ropes with a spinning heel kick! He irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and hooks him with an Aki lariot!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa shoots Shootfighter into the ropes again and floors him with a yakuza kick! He irish whips Shootfighter into the corner. He follows him in with a kawada kick, but Shootfighter moves and crotches him on the top rope!
(The Shootfighter climbs up to the second rope and front waistlocks him. He belly to belly superplexes him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He scoops Arakawa up and drops him into a backbreaker. He pulls him up and drops him into a second backbreaker, then turns him over into a full powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter waits for Arakawa to get up. Then he rushes him and russian sickles him with that studded elbow pad! He pulls Arakawa's head into his legs, and double chicken wings his arms. Then pulls him up and drops his hammerlocked arms across his knee into The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 13 seconds; THE SHOOTFIGHTER HAS WON THE SECOND FALL!"
Phil Blauer: Like an S&M convention, we're all tied up!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a claw to his face & heart. Known as...?
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter Claw?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Correctamundo. Arakawa grabs him by his wrists and tosses him over in a judo toss! Arakawa runs into the ropes and whacks The Shootfighter in the chest with a TAK soccer style kick!
(The Shootfighter ducks under a uraken punch and answers with a heart punch! He goes for a suplex but Arakawa blocks it with his calf)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Tatsuya Arakawa reverses with a vertical drop brainbuster!! He makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa lifts him up and MASSIVE bombs The Shootfighter over the ropes into the second ring for our Wargames match later on tonight!
(The crowd applauds. After some agonizing moments, The Shootfighter pulls himself up by the ropes and steps back into the right ring. Arakawa scoops him up but Shootfighter slips behind him and applies a tri corner choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hoping to make Tatsuya Arakawa tap out for a moral victory as well as the official.
Phil Blauer: I wonder who has the victory for the most moral victories?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I have to think Tito's up there. Shootfighter clamps down on Arakawa's throat while squeezing out the air in his lungs with his legs. He rolls back and tries to really choke him out.
(Arakawa's face turns red but luckily he gets near a rope and grabs on to it. Ron Reid forces him to break the tri-corner choke. The Shootfighter drags him into the center of the ring by the foot, away from the ropes. He then spins his leg around into a figure four leglock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a figure four leglock of which you can probably guessing the name of. Arakawa sits up with his face covered in blood, and Shootfighter clamps down on his twisted legs. Arakawa reaches out for the ropes, but Shootfighter has dragged him nowhere near.
(Arakawa tries to turn the leglock over, but the crafty veteran slips out of it before Tatsuya can turn it to his advantage. He then applies an crippler crossface STF. Arakawa growls in pain, as Shootfighter pulls up on his arm and head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies The Shootfighter Crossface. Ron Reid asks Arakawa if he wants to give up the final fall to live another day. Shootfighter's arm is becomingly sickeningly red with The Saiyko Terrorist's blood.
(Shootfighter finally releases the The Shootfighter Crossface and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tatsuya Arakawa staggers to his feet and running kneelifts Shootfighter, knocking him onto the bridged ropes of the two rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter is knocked off the top turnbuckles onto those twin ropes, and is now bridging the two rings. Tatsuya Arakawa climbs to the top and comes down on Shootfighter's stomach with a ribbreaker stomp!!
(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls The Shootfighter back into the right ring, and then applies a rear naked choke with his body scissors! Shootfighter turns beet red and waves wildly, grabbing for the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa choking out The Shootfighter with that rear naked choke! Shootfighter is blacking out!
(Ron Reid lifts Shootfighter's arm and it drops. He signals for the bell! The audience applauds a good match by Tatsuya Arakawa as "TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays over The Staples Center PA system)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 44 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter and Tatsuya Arakawa have a great stiff match up that one rarely sees on this side of the Pacific. The rematch is in Thailand but now they now both go on to that barbed wire hell that awaits them in Cleveland, Ohio at Hardkore Helloween 2005!
(Tom Lux leads Tatsuya Arakawa back to the locker room with his arms raised high. Judge Death and Blak Lung help a coughing & gagging Shootfighter back to his feet inside the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's the matter, Phil? You seem tired.
Phil Blauer: Carrying around these big balls all night is wearing me out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Phoenix, four time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defended her newly won championship against former EWW Women's Champion Ashley.
(Video fades out to Phoenix, Arizona; America West Arena 8/20/05)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley monkey flips a dizzy but “Sexy” Anjanette Turner across the ring! Ashley scoops her up into a bodyslam but Turner falls behind her on her feet, with an inverted facelock. She twists Ashley’s neck into a test drive!!
---
(The crowd boos, and Domino comes over to have a word with the woman standing in Ashley’s corner. The woman grabs a steel chair and Domino backs off. Ashley’s friend tosses the chair into the ring. Ashley sets up the chair near the ropes, while Domino tries to help Anj to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair over the ropes into a plancha on “Sexy” Anjanette Turner & Domino!!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj comes off the top with a spinning huracanrana off the top rope to the floor!!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley wrenches her head from side to side, rocking back into a camel clutch! Ashley releases it and climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino shakes the ropes and Ashley crotches herself on the turnbuckle steel cable hook. Anjanette climbs to the second turnbuckle with her back to Ashley. She lifts her up into an inverted crucifix, then pitches her off the second rope into an inverted splash mountain bomb!! Ashley bounces off her face!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette tries to jump off with The Turner Tornado but Ashley has it scouted and grabs on to the top rope. She drives her shoulder into Turner's stomach, and then spinebusters her back into the turnbuckle! Ashley then flips her into her acid drop finisher!!
---
(Ashley presses Anjanette Turner over her head, and Turner begs to be put down. Domino tries to enter the ring, causing Ashley to drop Turner, and turn her attention to her manager. Rachael grabs Domino by the back of her skirt into the railing!! Ashley then grabs Turner in a three quarter nelson. Zack Daniels runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley going for another acid drop but Anjanette Turner pushes her off into Zack Daniels who steps up on Ashley's thigh, then swings around into a shining wizard knee to the side of her head!!
(The crowd boos as Ashley drops to the mat. Anjanette inverted facelocks her and climbs to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into a Turner Tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(Fades out to Guillermo O'Bannon & Phil Blauer at ringside. “So Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays and the Los Angeles fans cheer. Ashley raises the leather strap over her head. She whips the strap round & round, as Rachael follows behind her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley invented this style of leather strap match where you must first drag your opponent to all four corners, and only then are you available to pin your opponent.
Phil Blauer: Jesus, this sounds like it's gonna take forever! How about this, the first one to hit the other with the strap is the new champ?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: How about the first one that can make the leather strap work with their outfit?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley hoping that with Anjanette ending her relationship with Zack Daniels, this match can be the one on one encounter she originally had in mind.
Yolanda Ando: Ashley wears red stretch pants with a red loose fitting blouse over a black tank top. She has short curled hair with reddish highlights.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Leather Strap Match, in which you must tag all four corners before you are eligible to pin or make your opponent submit. No pinfall or submission will count until you have tagged all four corners. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Rachael; From Tampa, Florida; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 140 pounds...ASHLEY!!!"
(The Los Angeles crowd cheers Ashley and she swings the strap around, waiting for Anjanette. Then "GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays and The Staples Center's cheers turn to jeers. Domino leads "Sexy" Anjanette Turner down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable's female star Anjanette Turner joined up with Domino to give her career some direction she previously didn't have. This has soured the fans on her, but paid dividends in her win-loss record.
Phil Blauer: Fuck them, our fans are assholes. You should see the things they chant about me.
Guillermo O'Bannon: (leading the fans in a chant) "Phil's A Homo *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Huh? Sorry, Phil what were you saying?
Phil Blauer: I don't remember. I think it was about my hair.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner was able to escape the Desert with her title, but this time she'll be tied to two time former EWW Women's Champion Ashley...Sit down, Phil.
Phil Blauer: One never knows if they're gonna need an alternate.
Yolanda Ando: "Sexy" Anj Turner is a light skin African American female with shoulder length dark brown hair in a ponytail. She's wearing a red two peice bathing suit with red boots and the Hardkore World Women's title belt strapped around her waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by her manager, Domino; From Las Vegas; Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
(The Staples Center boos Anjanette Turner, who ignores them, instead handing her title belt over to Domino. Ron Reid latches the leather strap around Anjanette's wrist. Anjanette stops Reid to ask him about the rules when suddenly she sucker punches Ashley! The audience boos and Reid signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette whips Ashley across the back! She smacks Ashley in the back of the head with an inzuigiri!
(Turner waistlocks her and then drops back into a backdrop driver but Ashley flips out of it onto her feet behind Anjanette. She catches Turner flush in the face a few times with her forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner blocks one of Ashley's forearms and counters with one of her own. She lashes Ashley along her side a few times with that leather strap! She lifts her up in a suplex then drops her down on her head with a falcon arrow!!
(Anjanette half nelsons Ashley and then drops her on her head again with a t-bone suplex!! The Los Angeles fans boo as Anjanette sits up and soaks them in. Domino applauds on the outside. Turner tells Domino to watch this)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette runs and handsprings into a backflip but Ashley puts his knees up into Turner's stomach! Ashley scoops Turner up and bodyslams her hard to the mat. She sits on the champion's back and wraps the leather strap around her throat. She's choking the life out of her with that strap!
(Ron Reid pleads with her to stop choking Turner, while Sexy Anj tries to put her fingers underneath the strap. Ashley plants her feet and really pulls back on the belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner rolls out of the way of an elbow drop by Ashley. She inverted facelocks Ashley and then twists her around into a test drive!!
(Turner scoops Ashley up and drops down into a corkscrew tombstone piledriver! She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's wrists a few times. She starts dragging her over to the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette goes over to the first corner and tags the first turnbuckle! She drags her to the second corner, but Ashley sticks her feet in the mat and puts the breaks on. She stops Anjanette and gets to her feet...
Phil Blauer: Wow, she is strong. But made for a woman.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner pulls Ashley in by the leather strap and then kicks her in the stomach. She double underhooks Ashley's arms, and lifts her up. She runs into the center of the ring and then drops her facefirst with a michinoku driver I!!
(Anjanette Turner climbs up to the second turnbuckle and then backflips into a moonsault but Ashley moves out of the way!! She wraps the belt around her fist a few times and punches Anjanette in the face over & over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley scoops Turner up and drops her arm across her knee with a shoulderbreaker. She lies Anjanette's arm out and elbow drops it. She pulls Turner up over her shoulders in an alabama slammer but Anjanette catches the ropes.
(Ashley tries to flip her forward, but Anjanette hangs onto the top rope for dear life. She takes Ashley over into a head scissors takedown. She pulls her up into a belly to back cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner steps up onto the second turnbuckle and clotheslines Ashley with the leather strap!! She grabs the strap and whips Ashley across the back! Again!
(Ashley tries to crawl away, but Turner drags her back by the strap. She atomic drops Ashley on the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. She climbs to the second rope and waistlocks her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner belly to back superplexes her off the second rope!! She pulls Ashley's head into her legs and lifts her up onto her shoulder and powerbombs her!! She grabs hold of Ashley's hands and legs & pulls her up for a second powerbomb!!
(Anjanette Turner lifts her up for a third rolling powerbomb!! Ashley goes limp and Anj drags her to the corner. She tags the first turnbuckle and the audience boos. She drags Ashley to the next corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette tags the second turnbuckle, that's two!
Phil Blauer: That's sort of implied by the second turnbuckle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner dragging Ashley over to the next corner, and Ashley trying to stop her...but Domino runs over and smashes her in the face with a double ax handle! Turner tags the third turnbuckle!
(Los Angeles fans boo as Ashley is dragged to the last turnbuckle. Anjanette Turner tags it and Ron Reid signals that Turner can now attempt pinfalls and submissions)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner tags all four corners and now is eligible to pin Ashley. She grabs Ashley's leg and swings around into a spinning toe hold but Ashley kicks her off into the turnbuckles! She comes up from behind the champ and wraps the leather strap around Anjanette's throat!
(Ashley uses the 8 inches she has on Turner to pull her off her feet with that belt around her neck! Turner grabs wildly for the ropes, Ron Reid's shirt, anything. Domino jumps on the apron and complains to Reid)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette drops to her knees and drives the top of her head through Ashley's chin with a jawbreaker. She steps up onto the second turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to turn around. She jumps into a spinning huracanrana!! She cradles the leg with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner scoops up Ashley but on the way down, Ashley cradles her leg into a small package!
Phil Blauer: But the pin doesn't count!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She monkey flips Anjanette across the ring! She clotheslines Anjanette with the leather strap! She climbs to the top turnbuckle but Domino stands up on the apron and pulls down on her leg to crotch her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook.
(The audience boos Ashley's predictament. Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and gut wrench superplexes her!! She covers Ashley)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette applies an arm scissors. She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's throat! She squeezes down on Ashley's arm while cinching that belt tighter around her windpipe.
(The fans boo. Rachael pounds on the apron trying to keep Ashley awake. Ashley kicks her feet out, gasping for air. Anjanette pulls her up by her curly hair and irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner hits her with a flying body press but Ashley catches her and powerslams her! She lifts her up over her shoulder, wraps the leather strap across Anj's throat, then drops down to her knees in a widow's peak!!
(The Staples Center cheers. Ashley wraps the leather strap around Turner's feet and begins dragging her to the first corner, the cheers get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley tags the first turnbuckle and is trying to get the honor of pinning the champ. She gets to the second corner and tags the turnbuckle. Domino grabs hold of Ashley's foot!
(Rachael walks over to Domino, who screams and runs away. Inside the ring, Ashley shakes her head and then presses Anjanette over her head. Rachael applauds on the outside, while Domino pleads with Ashley to put her down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley drops Anjanette Turner chestfirst on the mat behind her! She pulls Turner's head into her legs, but Anj blocks the piledriver and back body drops her! She steps up on the second turnbuckle, then front flips into a legdrop across Ashley's neck!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She wraps the leather strap around Turner's throat and chokes her with it. She swings her around & round, Ashley's legs are off the ground and then Ashley drops her on the mat! She hops up on the second turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a spinning huracanrana but Ashley turns it into a last ride powerbomb!! No pin allowed, so she irish whips Turner into the ropes and drives her into the mat with a rock bottom!!
(Ashley headlocks Turner, runs up the ropes into a stratusfaction bulldog! She wraps the leather strap around Turner's wrists, and then legdrops the back of Turner's head. She begins dragging Anjanette Turner towards the corner, and the fans leap to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley tags the first turnbuckle and is back on the comeback trail. She drags Anjanette over to the corner and tags the second turnbuckle! She gives Turner a few kicks and then drags her over to the third corner. She tags the third turnbuckle!!
(The Staples Center is on their feet as Ashley pulls and yanks on the leather strap with all her might. She reaches out to the turnbuckle but she's mere inches away. The audience claps faster & faster in support for Ashley)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley makes one last gargantuan tug and tags the last turnbuckle!!
(The crowd lets out an ear splitting pop and Ashley turns around and looks into Anjanette's eyes. She then rains down with whips from the leather strap)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley grapevines Turner's leg and then wraps the belt around Turner's throat! Ron Reid checks in to see if the champion wants to submit.
Phil Blauer: Sure, now that it counts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley plants her knee and pulls up on that leather strap around "Sexy" Anjanette Turner's neck. Ron Reid tests Turner's arm but the champ keeps it up.
(Domino grabs Ashley by the hair from the outside and pulls her off of Turner! The Staples Center boos, and Racheal chases Domino around the ring again until she chases her up the walkway. Ashley climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring. Anjanette Turner yanks on the leather strap and crotches her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope with her back to Ashley. She inverted crucifixes her and reverse razor's edge powerbombs her chestfirst from off the second turnbuckle!! She rolls Ashley over and pins her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ashley kicks out)
(Audience gasps in relief and then applauds Ashley for kicking out. She pulls Ashley's head into her legs, but she blocks it, and alabama slams Anjanette Turner onto the back of her head!! She rolls forward with her legs into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She irish whips Turner into the ropes and smacks her upside the head with a superkick! She goes for a suplex but Anj blocks it with her calf. Anjanette Turner counters with gut wrench tigerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette grapevines her leg, and then wraps the leather strap round her neck before lying on Ashley's back. She ties that neck off tight, pulling her head off!
(The Los Angelenians boo Anjanette, who ignores them and continues to pull up on the leather strap around Ashley's neck. Rachael yells encouragement to her from outside the ring, as the audience clap in unison for her to hang on. Ashley starts pumping her fists, internalizing their claps and using it to power out of the choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley on her feet and punching Turner over & over! The fans are on their feet! She whips Turner's back and then irish whips her into the ropes...flying body press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley applies a masterlock! She links those hands together and uses those powerful arms to apply pressure to the back of her neck.
Phil Blauer: You know, I kind of like the masterlock. It seems Vince has been tweaking submissions lately by adding linked hands instead of linked fingers. The same thing with Mohommad Hassan's camel clutch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yes, but you also like that show Prison Break.
Phil Blauer: That's true.
(Ron Reid checks in with Anjanette Turner, who shakes her head "No". Ashley rams Turner's unprotected face into the turnbuckle. She pulls Turner's head into her legs and piledrives her head into the mat!! The crowd pops and Ashley hooks her legs with the leather strap)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley three quarter nelsons Turner and runs up the turnbuckles into her acid drop but Turner pushes her off and crotches her on the top ropes! She pulls Ashley up back to back and then drops her chestfirst into a gory special bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner steps on the backs of Ashley's knees and wraps her legs up with hers. She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's neck and pulls her up into a bridging surfboard! She bounces Ashley's calves up & down while choking her with the belt!
(She pulls down on the strap while pushing up on the backs of Ashley's knees. Turner then drops her and climbs up on to the second turnbuckle and spins off into a roundhouse kick to Ashley's face!! She inverted facelocks Ashley and steps up on to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into her Turner Tornado DDT!! She hooks her leg with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ashley puts her boot on the bottom rope)
(The audience gasps and then applauds. Anjanette Turner run into the ropes, but Ashley catches her and lifts her up on her shoulder. Ashley drops back and drives Turner's head into the canvas with an emerald fusion!! The Staples Center comes alive, while Ashley wraps the leather strap around her neck a few times)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley stands over Anjanette and pulls up on the leather strap, making that thing into a noose! Turner kicking her feet out trying to stand up, but Ashley stands on her chest. She braces her foot against Turner's sternum and tugs up on the belt. She lifts Turner up and suplexes her!
(The crowd cheers, and Ashley sticks her knee into Turner's back, and pulls both of Anj's arms behind her. She then drops her backwards on to the back of her neck into a surfboard suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley three quarter nelsons "Sexy" Anjanette Turner and runs up the turnbuckles into her acid drop!! She rolls her over and hooks both legs with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center leaps to their feet and “Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays. Ashley's eyes light up and she unhooks herself from the leather strap wristband. Ron Reid hands her the Hardkore World Women's Championship belt)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 39 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...ASHLEY!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley wins the Hardkore World Women's Championship!! Now she goes on to wrestle her most hated rival Alley at Hardkore Helloween in a steel cage match on pay-per-view in Cleveland, Ohio at the Gund Arena!
(Ashley stands up on the second turnbuckle with the Hardkore World Women's title belt lofted high over her head, soaking in the cheers of the Los Angeles fans)
(Camera shows the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts hanging over a ladder then fades out to Guillermo & Phil at ringside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is a chance for us to clarify our tag team title situation. High Maintenance stole the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts, literally, during The Un-Stable's cage match against "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson.
Phil Blauer: Only in pro wrestling. You don't see the Buccaneers stealing The Patriot's Lombardi trophy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: About the only way they're gonna touch that thing.
("Get Down" by Everlast plays and the audience boos. Gavin Slater leads "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards and "New Sensation" Nathan Slater down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The former tag champs trying to get those title belts back for real tonight, but it's gonna take alot more than running off with them this time. They're gonna have to beat Andrew Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III up, walk up that ladder and take em.
Phil Blauer: Or get themselves counted out and stay champions.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Little hard to do in a ladder match.
Yolanda Ando: Nathan Slater wears a unbuttoned black silk shirt and parachute red track pants...
Phil Blauer: Hammer Pants?
Yolanda Ando: Proper. Slater wears some black wrestling boots with "New Sensation" written on them. Jonathan Richards wears a sleeveless unbuttoned red silk shirt and black denim pants, red wrestling boots with "Rolls Royce" written on them.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Ladder Match is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by their manager, Gavin Slater; They are both from Melbourne, Australia; Featuring first, standing 6 feet even; Weighing 222 pounds...'NEW SENSATION' NATHAN SLATER!! His partner stands 6 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 290 pounds...'ROLLS ROYCE' JONATHAN RICHARDS!! They are HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans boo as Richards and Slater prance around the ring. Then The Staples Center goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III & Andrew Karnage at the top of the ramp way. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me ...... It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over arena as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. Andrew Karnage walks down to the ring, slapping the fans hands on the way down as Hunglestien struts behind him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage and Robert Hunglestien III have yet to be tested as a team since winning the tag team titles, wrestling a handicap match last month. But tonight, High Maintenance will take them to the limit.
Phil Blauer: I like ladder matches. They should institute more carpentry in wrestling. You have to figure a third of our audience has some sort of construction background. They have scaffolds covered, but what about a hammer match? Two pituitary retards fighting over a ball peen hammer. Now that would be carpentainment.
Yolanda Ando: Robert Hunglestien III is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. Andrew Karnage wears some standard white trunks with a blue stripe angled from his left hip to his right thigh. White kneepads with a blue stripe matching his tights. White boots with a blue toe, heel and tongue and a white elbow protector on his right arm and blue and white wristbands. Underneath Hunglestien's robe he wears a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the III from the end of his name. He also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. His boots are black and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans. (Phoenix fans cheer) Featuring first from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner is from Cleveland, Ohio; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(The crowd cheers wildly. Suddenly "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards runs and clotheslines the back of Hunglestien's head and Mike Peters signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: Nathan Lane hiptosses Andrew Karnage over.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater, Phil. Karnage ducks under a clothesline from Richards and comes off the ropes with a yakuza kick to Nathan Slater!
(The fans cheer. Robert Hunglestien III ducks under a right hand from Jonathan Richards. He atomic drops Richards legs into the rungs of the standing ladder and then tips it over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater drop toe holds Andrew Karnage's face into the ladder!! Robert Hunglestien III pulls Richards up by the hair, but the big man grabs two handfuls of the Hung One's hair and headbutts him.
(Jonathan Richards diamond cutters Robert Hunglestien III on the ladder!! They turn around to Andrew Karnage and double suplex his spine across the ladder!! The Staples Center boos as High Maintenance celebrates downing both members of The Un-Stable)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater lies the ladder down on it's side, and pulls Robert Hunglestien III up by his hair. He inverted atomic drops his groin on the ladder!!
(The audience boos, as Hunglestien crab walks, grabbing his genitals. Jonathan Richards goes for a piledriver, but Karnage blocks it and back drops him. He t-bone suplexes Richards!! The fans cheer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage walks over and kicks Slater in the gut. He butterflies Slater's arms and lifts him up. He drops Slater on his head with a Tiger Buster!!
(The Staples Center applauds, and Robert Hunglestien III is busy flipping Richards over in a fireman's carry. He then pulls Richards up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien backdrops Richards up in the air and Karnage catches him and powerbombs him on the ladder!! Richards' face is a mask of pain!!
(Nathan Slater armdrags Andrew Karnage by the ladder. He hits the ropes and sunset flips over Karnage and smacks the back of his head on the metal ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien grabs Richards by the arm and draws him in for a shortarm clothesline but Richards ducks and comes from behind and applies a cobra clutch. He ties up their legs and drops back into a leg sweep!
(Richards pulls Hunglestien up and irish whips into the ropes, and powerslams him! He pulls Hunglestien up and irish whips him into the ropes again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenace double back body drops Hunglestien's back onto that ladder!! Andrew Karnage comes up from behind Nathan Slater with a kataha-jime chokehold.
(Before Jonathan Richards can help out, Karnage drops Slater on his head with a Lobotomy Suplex! Robert Hunglestien gets behind Jonathan Richards and applies a full nelson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien drops Richards on his back with a full nelson slam! Andrew Karnage sets up the ladder in the corner and dumps Richards over his shoulder with an exploder '98 on to the leaning ladder!!
(Robert Hunglestien III drives his elbow into Nathan Slater's back. He then snap suplexes him, and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pumphandles Nathan Slater up, and then owendriver '97's him as Hunglestien spikes him off the top rope!!
Phil Blauer: That's mocking The Soutter Special. I can smell mockery a mile away.
Yolanda Ando: You can, huh?
Phil Blauer: What's that smell?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage scoops Jonathan Richards up and then swings him around into a catatonic backbreaker!!
(Robert Hunglestien III sets up the ladder and begins climbing up. Nathan Slater tips the ladder over and Hunglestien falls off, over the ropes into the second ring!! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien falls into that other ring. High Maintenance double dropkicks Andrew Karnage! Jonathan Richards scoops him up and drops him into a shoulderbreaker.
(Richards slides the ladder over and Nathan Slater bulldogs Karnage onto it! Robert Hunglestien III enters the ring and Jonathan Richards is ready for him and tiltawhirls him onto his knee with a quebradora con hilo! Slater sets the ladder up and climbs up to the top)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "New Sensation" Nathan Slater comes off the top of the ladder with a leg drop across Karnage's face!! Jonathan Richards irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and drills him onto his head with a belly to back brainbuster!!
Phil Blauer: They're just sucking up to Jonnie by using his old finisher.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Whatever works. Nathan Slater turns Karnage over into a boston crab. He tries to get good & low to cause the most damage to AK-47's lower back. Jonathan Richards pulls Robert Hunglestien up and piledrives him!! Meanwhile, Slater rocks back & forth with Karnage's legs, while Mike Peters looks on powerlessly.
Phil Blauer: That's a good look for him.
(Nathan Slater releases Karnage's legs and then walks over to Robert Hunglestien III. Slater half nelsons Hunglestien and then drops him in a cradle neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards picks up the ladder to smash it into Hunglestien's face, but Karnage dropkicks it into his face!! He turns around and sambo suplexes Nathan Slater!
(The Staples Center crowd comes alive. Robert Hunglestien scoops Jonathan Richards up and drops him on his head with a michinoku driver II!! Andrew Karnage hammerlocks Nathan Slater's arm and scoops him up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs into the center of the ring and hammerlock powerslams on to the ladder!!
Phil Blauer: That arm could be broken!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III smells blood and hops on Nathan Slater's back, applying a crippler crossface to his aching arm! Andrew Karnage lifts Richards up & over by the legs and then drops the back of his head on to that infernal ladder with an alabama slammer!!
Phil Blauer: "Infernal"? Who are you, Yosemite Sam?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien's got those hands linked and pulls up hard on Slater's face & arm. Andrew Karnage walks by and gives Slater's face a few stomps & kicks.
(Hunglestien releases the crippler crossface and lifts up the ladder. He lies it across the ropes in the corner. He pulls Slater up and then sets him up in the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien pulls Slater up in a powerbomb and then drops backwards, slamming Slater's face on that bridged ladder!! Andrew Karnage hoists Richards up on his shoulder and runs across the ring into a death valley driver!!
(Hunglestien grabs Richards by his legs and catapults him up into a Nightmare Lariot by Andrew Karnage!! Richards falls back against Hunglestien's upraised knees, and the Los Angeles fans are deafening)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III inverted facelocks Slater and then pulls him up into a suplex, before dropping him across his knee into a backbreaker! Andrew Karnage is climbing up that ladder!
(The fans cheer louder & louder as Karnage gets closer to his tag team titles. Nathan Slater hobbles up the ladder and gets to the top before Karnage does. Karnage smashes Slater with a few punches and gets up high than Slater)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater monkey flips Andrew Karnage off the top of the ladder into that second ring!!!
(The Staples Center chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Robert Hunglestien III tries to suplex Richards, but he blocks it with his calf)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards brainbusters Robert Hunglestien!! Nathan Slater climbs up to the top of that ladder again. He comes off with a plancha, but Hunglestien catches him and powerslams him!!
(The LA fans go crazy! They chant "HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!!")
Phil Blauer: This audience has just completed the hardest chant I've ever heard. It's like chanting for Heidenreich.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage back in the ring and flips Jonathan Richards head over heels with The Nightmare Lariot!!
(The Staples Center lets out an earsplitting pop! Robert Hunglestien lifts Slater up onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry, but Slater falls behind him on his feet. Hunglestien turns around into a spinning heel kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards sets up the ladder and lies it on it's side. He scoops up Hunglestien and drops his stomach on the ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs at Slater, but Slater drops him with a standing dropkick. Jonathan Richards and X factors Hunglestien's face onto the ladder!!
(Andrew Karnage waistlocks Richards from behind him and drops him back on to the back of his head with a backdrop suplex!! Hunglestien drop toe holds Slater's face on the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III elbow drops the back of Slater's head into that ladder!! Andrew Karnage pulls Slater up and tosses him over the ropes into the second ring with a head & arm suplex!
(Hunglestien applies an inverted indian deathlock on Jonathan Richards' legs while Andrew Karnage sits on his back and applies a cobra clutch camel clutch!! The Un-Stable bend Richards in half)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien clamping down on Richards' twisted legs and Karnage pulls up on his head & arm with The Sphinx Clutch! Richards' screams are bloodcurdling! Nathan Slater runs back into the ring with a barrage of punches to Karnage's face!
(Robert Hunglestien III DDTs Jonathan Richards' head into the canvas! Nathan Slater superkicks Hunglestien upside his head! Slater lies the ladder up against the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ladder in the corner! He runs, handsprings into a body press against the ladder!! Jonathan Richards pulls Hunglestien up into a crucifix and then razor's edge powerbombs him!!
(The Los Angeles fans boo. Jonathan Richards pick up the ladder as Nathan Slater irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ropes, High Maintenance double clothesline him with the ladder)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards grabs Hunglestien by the legs and swings him around into a spinning wheelbarrow slam! Nathan Slater hooks Karnage in an inverted facelock and then drops back into a facefirst slam onto the ladder!!
(The audience gives both teams a round of applause for such a good match. Jonathan Richards scoops Hunglestien up and swings him around into a catatonic!! Nathan Slater sets up the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater climbing up that ladder and has a hold of those belts! Andrew Karnage climbs up from behind him on the other side of the ladder and applies a kataha-jime! He hooks his legs into the rungs and then shows considerable power by spider suplexing him over the top of the ladder to the ring below!!!
(The Staples Center rocks with chants of "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Gavin Slater still has his hands covering his mouth in shock. Robert Hunglestien III gets behind Jonathan Richards with a burning hammer)
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable is back on the attack!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Richards into Andrew Karnage who belly to belly suplexes him over the ropes into the second ring! Karnage knocks down the ladder and lies it in the center of the ring. Hunglestien double underhooks Slater's arms and pulls him up on his shoulder, then drives him headfirst into The Star Breaker!!
(Andrew Karnage walks into the second ring and chokeslams Jonathan Richards up and then slams him down on to his knee! Robert Hunglestien pulls Slater up and butterflies his arms again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III slams Slater's face down onto the ladder with The High Life!!
(The crowd pops and Hunglestien sets the ladder up underneath the hanging belts. Andrew Karnage presses Slater over his head, then gets a running start)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage tosses Slater over the ropes into the audience!!
(Crowd chants "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" as Slater lies underneath a pool of front row fans. Robert Hunglestien climbs up the ladder and snatches the title belts! Mike Peters signals for the bell and the Staples Center roars)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable have reclaimed their belts!
("Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays as Hunglestien celebrates on the top of the ladder with both belts. Andrew Karnage pumps up the audience, shaking the ropes)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 23 minutes 22 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein, Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, and Johnny Lee Harley are in the ring! Cobryn pushes the ladder over and Hunglestien sails down onto the ropes awkwardly!!
(The fans boo and Tears for Fears cuts out)
Phil Blauer: Boooo!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: When did you become such an Un-Stable fan?
Phil Blauer: Fuck The Un-Stable, I love Tears for Fears. They can't just lower the volume during this attack?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits The Answer on Karnage on to the ladder!! Soutter runs down to the ring now as well!
Phil Blauer: Where did he come from? Did someone spill some nachoes?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter pumphandles Robert Hunglestien III up into The Soutter Special!!
(Soutter demands the microphone from Bill Kasal while The Society of the New Breed put the boots to Karnage & Hunglestien)
Soutter: "Miss me Huggles? Thanks for lifting that ban on me here. It feels like I never left."
(Soutter grabs the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts off of the ground)
Soutter: "Oh...and I'm taking these. In fact, me boys are taking them far away where you can never get them back. Because High Maintenance are the newest stars of Hardkore Britain."
(Soutter hands the tag team title belts to Jonathan Richards and they walk out of the ring. They collect Nathan Slater from the crowd and walk to the back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter saw an opportunity when The Society of the New Breed began attacking The Un-Stable and stole those tag team titles again!
Phil Blauer: And now he's taking them overseas!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein is straddling over Hunglestien and undoes his pants!
Phil Blauer: Oh my god...no!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein pulls it out...
Phil Blauer: Wow, that stuff does shrink your nuts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's gonna pee on Hunglestien!
(Kilroy Evans and Andrew Sinclair enter the ring, chairs a' swinging and clear The Society of the New Breed out of the ring. The fans cheer but Hunglestien is far from happy, he screams obscenities at anyone around him)
(Kilroy Evans grabs the microphone as the rest of The Un-Stable walk to the back)
Kilroy Evans: I've got a couple of questions, and I'd like some honest answers. How many people thought I could beat Adrian Tanner?
[The fans cheers overwhelmingly. Kilroy smiles and feigns embarassment.]
Kilroy Evans: Oh shucks, you're too kind. But now I've gota more difficult question for you. How many of you honestly believe I could actually beat Death Gojira?
[This time, the reaction is more mixed, with about half the crowd cheering and others making noise for Gojira. Despite this, Kilroy smiles again.]
Kilroy Evans: You know why I'm happy with that answer? Because a year ago, no one would've said so, and now I'm up to half of you. And that's fantastic. I've done extremely well here as part of a team, whether it's been as part of the MVC 2 or the Un-Stable. But on my own...well, on my Hardkore World report card my solo performances read as "great potential, but needs improvement." I've come a long way from getting a meat thermometer jammed in my eye at Hardkore Hall, and I intend to go much farther!
But for that to happen, something's gotta change. No, I'm not quitting the Un-Stable. Why the hell would I do that?! You've got Hunglestein, me, and the Andrews Sinclair and Karnage rolling together. That's four times the amount of awesome than necessary all rolled into one convenient package. No, being stupid and wandering off from my friends is not the way to go.
The problem is, I've been too nice. Stop laughing, I mean it. I've been holding back and it's taken a year to realize I shouldn't be. You know what holding back in Hardkore World gets you? It gets you killed. Or blown up, to speak from personal experience. It's time I stop drawing lines and start crossing them! And my first target is the same as my old target...Death Gojira!
You may be resting easy for now Gojira, but I know you heard it. There's just as many people cheering me on now as there are for you. And you know what? That's all the reason I need. It's always touched my heart when people take the time to come to these shows, because they want to see me or they want to see the Un-Stable. The fact that these people have invested themselves in me means more to me than you, I'm sure. After all, you're a king. The king of the fucking monsters. You've got their respect and that's enough. But I treasure those cheers because after working my ass off, I'm something better than a king. They wanted to like me and I did what I could to justify it. I'm proud of myself...
[Kilroy turns around in the ring, pointing to all the fans.]
...BECAUSE I'M THEIR BOY! I could give up, but why? Why shouldn't I get another shot at you, you scaly motherfucker? Gojira, I don't know what it'll take to get to you, but I'm willing to go the extra mile and find out! I cannot and will not consider my time here a success in any way until I have completed my goals: beating you and winning a singles title. You've taken my blood and my body, and you're welcome to more of it, but I will have your hide and the Hardkore America Title! Those may be two entirely different goals right now, but there are no limits to my patience and my endurance.
Your days are numbered, your highness. Because monsters aren't as scary once you've grown up a little.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match with someone with the most backstage heat this side of The Brothers of the Swastika. Zack Daniels recently got in over his head with the locker room who accuse him of stealing people's promos.
Phil Blauer: Stealing a man's promo is like stealing his woman. So I like this guy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's putting his Hardkore West Coast title on the line for a chance at Syberus' Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship. It's a title vs. title match, and it's next.
("Miseria Cantare" by AFI plays and then BOOM! Fireworks hit the arena)
Phil Blauer: Wow! Daniels stole AFI from Syberus too! What's he gonna do about it?
(The instrumental part plays complete and Zack Daniels comes out with his hood over his head. He's nearly knocked back by the boos from the Angelinos. He puts his thumb under the hood and looks to the left, then the right and then forward before jerking it back and stretching both his arms outward to which a shower of pyros start to fall. He then cockily saunters to the ring with the Hardkore West Coast title belt around his waist and gets on the apron. He looks at the crowd for a while before jumping over the top rope and going over to the turnbuckle where he perches the middle rope and stretches both his arms outward. He does that for the opposite turnbuckle as well and then takes off his hoodie and awaits Syberus)
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can buy this kind of heat. The net has been buzzing about this kid as if Matt Hardy Screwed Bret. But locker room heat is one thing, being able to win the matches is a completely different matter.
Yolanda Ando: Zack is wearing some blue and red medium sized tights with his initals "ZD" written on his ass. The design is the "Z" overlapping the "D". He's got on a sleeveless hoodie. Same colors as the tights and it says "Excellent" on the back of the hoodie with a big "Z" under it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT Title vs. HARDKORE WEST COAST Title Match It is scheduled for a 30 minute time limit and your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; He stands 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 216 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...'HARDKORE CANADA'S UNCROWNED CHAMPION..."
(Zack Daniels grabs Bill Kasal by the shoulder and whispers into his ear. Kasal looks confused and then nods, Daniels smiles at the audience)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "I beg your pardon, he is 'THE ORIGINAL' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
(The Staples Center boos and Daniels soaks it all in. He brushes some dust off of his West Coast championship belt. “Good Time” by Leroy plays but Syberus doesn't walk out. After a few moments, the shot cuts to backstage following Syberus as he confidently walks down the hallway, the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship around his waist and he sips on a Fresca. He catches the eye of some pretty young concession stand worker and flips her a wink of the eye. He turns the corner and bumps face first into the chest of Johnny Lee Harley, the Fresca spilling all over Johnny's cowboy boots.)
Johnny Lee Harley: Looks lahk you spilt some pop on my boots, boy. Gots anything to say bout dat?
Syberus: Yeah. I don't have time to deal with rednecks like you. Now piss off.
(Johnny just smiles, and Syberus puts his hand up in Johnny's face and turns around to walk away but he bumps right into a waiting Lucifer Jones, sadistic smile and everything.)
Lucifer Jones: 'Allo, mate. Fancy meeting you here. Heh heh heh.
(Both Jones and Johnny laugh now that they have Syberus cornered who quickly looks around for some kind of escape, but Johnny full nelson's him suddenly and Jones kicks him right in the balls!)
Johnny Lee Harley: Haw haw haw!!! Git em' Lucy!
(Syberus winces in pain, but Johnny holds him up and Jones spits right in his face then grabs him by the head and lays into him with dozens of quick, brutally stiff shots. Johnny slams him face first into the cement wall and then throws him hard into the ground, both men laying the boots to Syberus.)
Lucifer Jones: *with each kick* Fucker! You wanna talk some shit now!? *kick* You fuckin'...*kick*...lousy...*kick*...blue blooded...*kick*...arrogant son of a...*kick*...CUNT!
(Syberus lays there doing his best to protect himself from the barrage of heavy kicks, but Jones grabs him by the hair and spits in his face again, smiling cruelly. He slaps Syberus across the mouth then pulls out a sinister looking straight razor from his boot cuff and flips open the blade, shoving it threatingly towards Syberus's throat, his eyes wild now and in fear.)
Syberus: Easy now, Jones...
(Johnny Lee Harley kicks Syberus hard in the gut.)
Lucifer Jones: Now you shut your bloody mouth, Sy, lest I cut those offending lips of yours off. You say you wanna get hardcore?
(Johnny kicks him again in the gut, then in the chest.)
Lucifer Jones: You say you're gonna get brutal now?
(Johnny laughs and kicks Syberus square in the face, blood trickling down his mouth and nose. Jones laughs out loud, and pulls back on Syberus's head by the hair and flashes that straight razor again.)
Lucifer Jones: Syberus old boy, I'm gonna teach you now a lesson in what in means to be "hardcore". Hold still, ya cunt, I wanna make sure you learn your lesson right.
(Johnny quickly grabs Syberus's arms and holds him down as Lucifer Jones starts to carve into his forehead with the razor blade, blood quickly making his face a crimson mask. He screams out in pain and both Lucifer Jones and Johnny Lee mock him, howling out loud.)
Lucifer Jones: How's it feel, matey!? How's it feel to step into MY world!? YEEE-HA!!!
(Syberus tries his best to fight back, but both men quickly lay back into him with punches and kicks, leaving him a bloody mess on the arena floor. Jones tucks the razor back into his boot as Johnny scoops up a bloody Syberus, and then Jones delivers the Yankee Cracker hard onto the floor! Jones gets up, brushes himself off and leans against Johnny Lee, both men laughing at Syberus who's now a bloody and beaten mess, his face a literal horror mask of cuts and lacerations.)
Lucifer Jones: Well, I think he's ready for his match now with Zach. What do you think, Johnny boy?
(Johnny Lee smiles then spits out a huge lugee of tobacco juice into the face of Syberus.)
Lucifer Jones: Exacto-bloody-lutely. SOMEBODY CLEAN THIS PILE OF DOG SHITE UP!!!
(Both men leave laughing their asses off, Syberus cringing in pain and barely able to even get up to his knees. It fades out to the ring area)
Phil Blauer: Where the fuck is this limey?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, haven't you been watching your monitor?
Phil Blauer: And miss a second of Divorce Court?
(Cut to Phil's monitor)
Wife: I was taking night classes to better myself.
Judge Maybeline: You were taking night classes?
Wife: Yeah, and he never supported me in my dream to become a beautician.
Judge Maybeline: He wouldn't support you?
Wife: Nope. So he really drove me into the arms of his brother.
Judge Maybeline: He drove you into the arms of his brother?
Wife: That's right.
Husband: I object!
Judge Maybeline: You object?
(Cut back to Guillermo & Phil. Phil's eyes are glazed over, watching the monitor)
Phil Blauer: I'm afraid to miss a moment.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is staggering down to the ring, his belt hanging down in his arms, and a bloody mess! Zack Daniels isn't waiting for the bell and steps out on to the apron. He hops onto the middle of the top rope and backflips into an asai moonsault DDT on the floor!!
(Ron Reid signals for the bell, as the fans boo the opportunistic Zack Daniels. He rolls Syberus into the ring, and climbs up on to the apron. He climbs up onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus doesn't even know where he is right now.
Phil Blauer: He's like your Dad, but bloody instead of a drunken mess.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels slingshots himself over the ropes, somersaults over Syberus into a swandive stunner!! He makes the pin!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels climbs up to the top turnbuckles and hits a prone Syberus with a corkscrew shooting star press!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He pulls Syberus up into a 3/4 nelson, then runs up the turnbuckles into a Sliced Bread No.2!! Once again he pins the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels climbs to the top turnbuckle again and spins off into a spiral tap he calls The Gravity Killer but Syberus rolls out the way!! Syberus vertical suplexes him!
(The crowd comes alive, and Syberus wipes the blood out of his eyes. He turns around and thez presses Daniels but Daniels catches him. He walks back to the ropes and then drops Syberus' throat on the top rope! He staggers back, clutching his throat, and Daniels DDTs him! He kips up and the audience boos the cocky Canadian)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels grapevines Syberus' leg and pulls him up in an STF!! Syberus' arms go limp, as Daniels tries to break his back.
(Ron Reid tests his arm, but Syberus keeps his arm up. The Los Angeles fans clap in unison to encourage Syberus. He bleeds all over Daniels' forearm. Syberus finally struggles over to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. Reid forces a break)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels pulls Syberus up by the bloodsoaked hair and tosses him throatfirst on the second rope. He runs into the ropes and comes through the ropes with a 619 dropkick but Syberus avoids it! He german suplexes Zack Daniels!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Zack Daniels rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is laying into Daniels chest with karate chops! Daniels ducks one and arm drags him across the ring. Syberus gets up and is arm dragged again. He back suplexes Syberus up into a blue thunder bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He front facelocks Syberus and flips him over into a suplex! Syberus runs into the ropes and hits Syberus with an STO!
(Zack Daniels climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a 450 legdrop but Syberus rolls out of the way!! The crowd noise explodes, and Syberus pulls himself up and kicks the back of Daniels' leg taking him off his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls Daniels up into a la majistral!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus knees Daniels in the stomach, and then swinging neckbreakers him! He lays an arm over Daniels!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The grisly mess that is Syberus single underhooks Daniels arm, he's swinging for the fences with The Pure Confidence, but Daniels drops to his knees and low blows him! He butterflies Syberus' arms and drops him in a tiger driver '91!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus steps outside to the apron. He slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and comes off with a springboard spinning wheel kick!!
(The Staples Center boos Zack Daniels. He sneers at them and pulls Syberus up into a single underhook and smiles at them)
Phil Blauer: He's gonna steal The Pure Confidence like he stole Ezekial Rayne's mojo!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels drives Syberus' skull into the mat with the single underhook impaler DDT!! The Pure Confidence!
(The audience chants "FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Daniels lies over a bloodsoaked Syberus in an arrogant cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels runs up and steps up on Syberus' knee and smacks him in the temple with his Lights Out shining wizard kick!!
(Big Bad Bill slides into the ring with Ashley in tow. He lifts Daniels up on his shoulders in a human torture rack. He spins him around, into a belly to back piledriver!! The crowd roars)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cross the “T” and dot the “I”!! Zack Daniels rolls out of the ring, clutching his head. Big Bad Bill sets up a chair in front of the ropes. Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair into a somersault plancha onto Zack Daniels!
(Zack Daniels smacks the back of his head against the guardrail! The Staples Center erupts in cheers. "The Punisher" Dan Stein runs down to the ring and pulls Zack up by his hair. He crotch-ties Daniels arm through his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein pumphandles Daniels up into The Reckoning on the concrete floor!!
Phil Blauer: The locker room is revolting against The Original!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein rolls Daniels into the ring, and Syberus is waiting for him with The Pure Confidence!! He rolls him over into a pinning position!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience leaps to their feet in celebration as “Good Time” by Leroy comes on. Syberus rolls over with his arm raised in victory. Ashley grabs Daniels by the head in a 3/4 nelson, and runs up the turnbuckles in her acid drop!! The fans cheer louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels angered the locker room and felt their fury.
Phil Blauer: Like the time that I impregnanted Xyrynth and blamed it on Bruno. No one talks about it or to me to this day.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 8 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(Syberus takes his Hardkore World Light Heavyweight and Hardkore West Coast title belts and holds them both up in the air, then collapses, bleeding a basketball sized pool of blood near his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus was brutally attacked before the match by The Society of the New Breed, thereby guaranteeing a loss to the high flying Daniels. But as luck would have it, plenty of people in the back were planning some brutal attacks of their own.
(EMTs, Ron Reid, and Mike Peters help a bloody Syberus to the back with both title belts slung over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus now goes back to Cleveland to wrestle Lucifer Jones in a dog collar match for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship. Zack Daniels goes on to that giant barbed wire clusterfuck called Hardkore Helloween for a shot at Cobryn.
(The lights go out in The Staples Center. Multi-colored lights dance over the double cage as it slowly lowers over the two rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here we are! It's time for the match I've been waiting for all month. A Wargames Match between the newly formed Society of the New Breed and a one-two punch of Legion X & The Dark Ryderz Movement. The prize, the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship.
Phil Blauer: Can that cage fill the ego of those 8 mens? We may need to reenforce that ring like when JR has to do an in-ring interview.
("No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the audience boos. The Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cobryn steps out in his beautiful black robe. Behind him walks the Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Lucifer Jones, he steals a beer out of a fan's hand and finishes it on his way down to the ring. "The Punisher" Dan Stein walks out next. His manager, the lovely Domino, hesitantly follows. Stein yells at her to get moving, and she grudgingly obliges. Johnny Lee Harley feverously stalks his way into the ring screaming various things. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner tries to give him his distance, while she limps a little, nursing the welts on her back from the leather strap match earlier tonight)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Society of the New Breed walks down to the ring and nearly blinds everyone with their gold. Will they get three more belts tonight?
Phil Blauer: I don't know about that, but with Stein, Harley, and Lucifer Jones don't you think their going over their wife beater quota?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette lost her belt earlier tonight, but still coming out to support The Society.
Phil Blauer: She's playin hurt!
Yolanda Ando: Johnny Lee Harley wears green trunks and a large brown cowboy hat to the ring, with a lasso that he swings all the way down during his entrance. He also carries a branding Iron. He wears green standard wrestling boots. Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out. Cobryn wears regular black tights and has tanned skin. He also wears black wrestling boots and has tape around his oft-injured forearm. Finally, Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and his ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Wargames Match. Two men will start out for 5 minutes. After that a cointoss determines who will have the 2 on 1 advantage. One wrestler will enter every two minutes until all 8 men are in the ring. Only then, can the match end by submission. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by "Sexy" Anjanette Turner & Domino; From Sweetwater, Texas; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 312 pounds...JOHNNY LEE HARLEY!!! From Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!! And hailing from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 237 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...LUCIFER JONES!!! Finally, their captain is from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!! They are THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!"
(The Staples Center boos. "Headless Children" by WASP plays and the jeers turn to cheers. Smoke billows out of the entrance and outwalks SWAT Heavyweight Champion Stan Wilson. He sneers at the jeering LA audience while jogging in place. "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson, Bad Boy King Kong and The Microshocker walk out next with their Hardkore Six Man Tag Team Championship belts. Dracon Xanathos follows behind them)
Guillermo O'Bannon: SWAT's Legion X and Hardkore World's Dark Ryderz Movement have joined forces to eliminate a common enemy in Cobryn and his Society of the New Breed.
Phil Blauer: Dracon Xanathos down there with them like a Puerto Rican JJ Dillon.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson and Big Bad Bill are running things Down Under and looking to take that dominance across the Oceans to the West Coast here.
Phil Blauer: Like Hitler.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, not like Hitler, Phil. But Big Bad Bill wouldn't mind getting a win back from Cobryn here in the double cage.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. Black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves. Rally Jackson wears green capoeira gui with yellow trim. Big Stan wears some black leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front. Black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. Black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Bad Boy King Kong and Dracon Xanathos; Featuring first, from Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 200 pounds from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds; He is The Current SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!! Featuring first, from Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 200 pounds...THE MICROSHOCKER!! From Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...BIG BAD BILL!! From Rio De Janeiro, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE DARK RYDERZ MOVEMENT!!!"
(The fans boo. The 8 men take their position at the opposite sides of the cage)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The captains, Cobryn & Big Bad Bill chose the order in this match and it seems as if they have both chosen themselves. They will wrestle for 5 minutes before a coin toss determines the next team to get a man in the cage.
(Cobryn and Big Bad Bill enter the cage. Bill rushes Cobryn and takes him down with a leg scissors takedown! Ron Reid signals for the bell from the outside and locks the cage door)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill lifts his leg and bashes Cobryn in the face with it. Cobryn gets to his feet and begins popping Bill in the face with right jabs. Bill smiles and blocks a jab with his forearm.
(Big Bad Bill fakes for a punch and then counters with a spin kick to Cobryn’s stomach. Bill uppercuts him and follows with a double axe-handle to his nose as he is reeling from the uppercut)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill backs Cobryn into the corner, and then shoulder blocks him in the gut. Bill swinging kicks Cobryn backwards to the face while still hugging him close!
(Bill kicks Cobryn in the groin his other foot is swinging down, followed by a boot the face before Bill puts his foot back down to the mat! As Cobryn falls back into the ropes, Bill assists him with a shove, as he rebounds off the ropes Bill short-arm clotheslines him down hard to the mat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill battering him with a barrage of kicks. Bill hops on to the second rope. He uses the chain link roof for balance to hop backwards and kick Cobryn in the face!
(The fans cheer, but Cobryn ducks under a yakuza kick and nails Bill with a few overhead haymakers. Cobryn flips Big Bad Bill over into a sambo suplex! Cobryn lifts him up for a powerbomb but Bill huracanranas Cobryn facefirst into the steel cage!! The Staples Center roars. Cobryn is busted open)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn is showing some color, and Bill stomps him in the stomach. Triple B scoops Cobryn up and drops his face into the steel cage again with a snake-eyes!! Bill grabs Cobryn by the head while in the corner and pushes his face hard into the steel cage again!
(Triple B begins delivering knee-lifts to the Cobryn’s jaw. He finishes Cobryn off with a shining wizard kick to his temple! Bill pulls Cobryn up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pops Cobryn in the face with a flying elbow! He three quarter nelsons Cobryn and runs up the turnbuckles into an acid drop, but Cobryn reverses it into The Answer!!
(The Los Angelinos boo wildly, while a bloody Cobryn tries to catch his breath. He full nelsons Bill and pulls him up to his feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn release dragon suplexes him, no bridge, all impact! Cobryn presses Bill over his head. He gets a running start and slams Bill’s face into the cage!! Bill staggers back into a stone cold stunner from Cobryn!
(Cobryn gives the fans a double middle finger, but means it. The Los Angeles fans boo. Big Bad Bill now has a gash over his eye. Cobryn sets him up for a northern lights suplex, but Bill brings his knee up into Cobryn’s face a few times)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill double underhooks Cobryn’s arms and drops him into an Enso DDT!!
(Cobryn bleeds on to the canvas. The fans cheer Bill, as well as Stan Wilson, The Microshocker, Rally Jackson and Bad Boy King Kong. Meanwhile Triple B tosses Cobryn over the ropes between the rings. He traps Cobryn’s arms in the ropes facing the opposite ring)
Guilllermo O’Bannon: Triple B jumps on the top rope. He grabs the cage with his feet on the ropes and leaps up and down, bruising his opponents arms between the ropes! He’s bouncing up & down on those ropes to hurt Cobryn’s nagging arm injuries!
(Cobryn cries out in pain and then Bill leaps down in the opposite ring and delivers a back-kick to Cobryn’s head. Big Bad Bill runs opposite the ring and leaps through the ropes with a spear to Cobryn’s kidneys, breaking him free into a crumpled mess on the floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill starts tattooing Cobryn with knife edge chops to the chest!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
(Fans scream out “Wooooo!!!” as each blistering chop whacks Cobryn in his pectorals)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
(Cobryn backs into the ropes, but Big Bad Bill continues to whack him with karate chops as the “Wooo”s grow louder & louder)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Blood sprays off of Cobryn’s face as Big Bad Bill continues to knife edge chop Cobryn’s red & tender chest)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
(Referee Ron Reid flips a coin. Stan “The Tank” Wilson calls out heads. It’s tails. “The Punisher” Dan Stein opens the cage door and enters the ring. Big Bad Bill trips Cobryn with a leg sweep kick)
Phil Blauer: The Society of the New Breed have the 2 on 1 advantage!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein comes up from behind Big Bad Bill and drops him with a hangman’s neckbreaker! Dan Stein pulls Bill up and irish whips him into Cobryn who clotheslines him!
(Cobryn tries to catch his breath as “The Punisher” Dan Stein lifts Big Bad Bill up into a argentinean backbreaker! Big Bad Bill’s arms hang to his side as the 6’7 Punisher bounces his spine on his shoulder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein continuing to rack Bill’s spine with his hanging backbreaker. Cobryn gets to his feet and plasters Bill with a few punches as he hangs in the argetinean backbreaker. Stein drops to his knees, jamming his back into Bill’s spinal column. Cobryn gets underneath Bill’s legs and lifts him up into an electric chair, bashing the top of his head into the steel cage roof!!
(The impact bends Big Bad Bill backwards into a gory special. Cobryn drops down into a piledriver!! Cobryn pulls a bloody Dan Stein onto his feet, and then irish whips him into the ropes)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stein catches Bill on the way back with a powerslam!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson enters the ring to even up the odds! He dropkicks Cobryn but lands in a handstand!
(The LA fans cheer Jackson’s balance. Dan Stein walks over to him but catches a huracanrana by Tigerheart!! Cobryn whacks Rally Jackson in the chest with several karate chops! The Staples Center “Wooo”s each one)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill places Dan Stein in the torture rack position and climbs the ropes to stand on top again, using his deft agility and balance. He begins the torture rack leaping from the top, hitting Stein’s body into the top of that unforgiving steel cage with each leap!!
(Rally Jackson tattoos a bloody Cobryn with some feirce kawada kicks! Triple B will twists into the tombstone position and piledrives The Punisher into the mat, completing the cross the “T” and dot the “I” piledriver!! The fans go wild)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson rushes Cobryn but he flapjacks Tigerheart into the cage!! Dan Stein hammerlocks Jackson’s arm and chicken wing suplexes him!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn tosses Rally Jackson on to his head with a wrist clutch exploder!!
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Phil Blauer: Johnny Lee Harley comes into the ring and gives The Society of the New Breed.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson irish whips Dan Stein into Big Bad Bill who hits him with an Unfettered Might twisting spear! Rally Jackson hits Johnny Lee Harley with a head & arm buster!
(Big Bad Bill bashes Cobryn into all three sides of the cage in the first ring before applying The Dis-Locator on both his arms!! Rally Jackson lifts Dan Stein up into a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson drives a bloody Stein’s head into the mat with a piledriver!! Johnny Lee Harley slugs Rally Jackson, dropping him with one punch!
(Johnny Lee Harley punches Big Bad Bill breaking up The Dis-locator on Cobryn! Rally Jackson lifts Dan Stein up in a hanging suplex. He sits him on the top turnbuckle)
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
(“Tigerheart” Rally Jackson walks Dan Stein into the center of the ring and drops down into a muscle buster!! The Staples Center cheers Jackson)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’ Bannon: Cobryn hits Big Bad Bill in the side of the head with a double kneelift to the side of the head! Cobryn turns around into a running big boot from Stan “The Tank” Wilson that knocks him over into the second ring!
Phil Blauer: The blood that sprayed off of Cobryn’s head there created for a cool effect! Stan Wilson is evening things up.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein DDTs Rally Jackson’s skull into the canvas! Bad Boy King Kong slides in three night sticks, and Big Bad Bill grabs it. He whacks Johnny Lee Harley in the head with it!!
(A member of the audience holds up a sign that reads: “The beatings will now begin”. Stan Wilson steps over both the ropes into the second ring to whack a bloody Cobryn in the temple with a nightstick! Rally Jackson cracks Dan Stein in the head with the billy club and Dan Stein falls into the second ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson gets underneath Stein’s legs and pulls him up into an electric chair, he pitches him forward into a Joker Driver!!
Phil Blauer: With all these nightsticks it's like that party I had for Mark Furhman's book release party. You thought Stacy Koon was wild on the tape, you should see him at kareoke!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley tosses Stan Wilson facefirst into the steel cage! Stan starts to bleed and Harley bites his forehead making him bleed even worse.
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
(Johnny Lee Harley chews on Wilson's face, as Rally crouches over Dan Stein and bludgeons him with right hands)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Big Bad Bill is hammering a blood drenched Cobryn, staining his hands red)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones enters the ring and fucks up Legion X's good thing. Jones comes up from behind Big Bad Bill and drops him on to the back of the head with a snap backdrop driver!!
(Lucifer Jones steps into the second ring to even things up there, and Cobryn jumps to take advantage of a bloody Stan Wilson. He rakes Wilson's face back & forth between the cage, bloodying him even further)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones irish whips Rally Jackson into Dan "The Punisher" Stein who powerslams him! In the other ring, Cobryn picks up one of those night sticks but Triple B grabs it too, and they are now wrestling for control of the stick!
(The fans cheer as the two former World Champions struggle for control of the billyclub. Cobryn gets the stick under Bill’s chin first, but Bill eventually gets the upperhand and starts choking Coby with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What place is more appropriate for Bill to unleash the LA choke hold?
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill trips Cobryn into the corner where he hits his head on the bottom turnbuckle. With the nightstick under his chin as he hits the back of his head, Cobryn’s neck could have snapped! Rally Jackson enters their ring and drives Cobryn's head into the mat with a styles clash!!
"Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
Guillermo O'Bannon: Once The Microshocker gets in this cage only then can the match end, and only by submission.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill showing his salt as the Captain of this team by allowing The Shock to come in last.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Stan "The Tank" Wilson irish whips Dan "The Punisher" Stein into the ropes and tiltawhirls him into a powerslam! The LA crowd begrudgingly applauds his show of strength)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shock is in the ring and now we have reached The Match Beyond.
Phil Blauer: What's that supposed to be?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I dunno, but Schiavone always said it. The Microshocker comes off the top rope with a flying eye gouge!
Phil Blauer: The Shock is a technical wizard! Lucifer Jones rubs his eye and then kicks The Shock in the plumbs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones lifts The Microshocker up in a crucifix powerbomb and slams him into the cage!! A bloody Big Bad Bill hooks a kataha-jime chokehold on Johnny Lee Harley!
Phil Blauer: This is the only way the match can end is submission...right?
Guillermo O’Bannon: That's right, Phil (feeds Blauer one of his treats). Bill clamping down on the throat of Harley before Stein walks over and stomps Bill in the head. Stein picks Bill up in a hanging suplex.
(Cobryn pulls some brass knuckles out of his trunks and bludgeons Stan in the face with them until they are covered in blood. Stein finally drops Bill in a jackhammer)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stan has had just about enough of Cobryn and pulls him up in a bearhug! He squeezing the life out of his fellow World Champion, and could be trying to end this match right now! Johnny Lee Harley lands a knee into Wilson's kidneys to break up the love.
("Tigerheart" Rally Jackson lifts Lucifer Jones up in a human torture rack and then flips him over into a burning hammer!! Dan Stein comes up from behind Stan Wilson and drops him back into a russian legsweep)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed have been swarming on Big Stan so far. Except for Cobryn who lifts The Microshocker up into a crucifix that slams the top of The Shock's head into the roof of the cage! He then drops him headfirst with a DDT!!!
(The Staples Center boos Cobryn. Johnny Lee Harley pulls Big Bad Bill's head into his legs. He lifts him up in a piledriver, letting him hang upside down for a while before drilling his bloody skull into the canvas)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Microshocker comes up from behind Harley and hits a neckbreaker that he calls the F2.
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I stopped asking years ago. I think it has to do with his computer gimmick. The Shock enters the second ring and irish whips Cobryn into Stan Wilson who catches him in a black hole slam!!
(Big Bad Bill pulls Lucifer Jones up on his shoulders in a powerbomb, and drives Jones' head into the cage!! Then he bounces him off the ropes into a slingshot powerbomb)
Guillermo O’Bannon: A grisly looking Cobryn comes up from behind The Microshocker and half nelsons him. T-bone suplex on The ShockDaddy!
Phil Blauer: I think I smell our Main Event for Palm Springs Punishment 2006! Dream with me...Cobryn & The Shock. One Night Only!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones butterflies Rally Jackson's arms and pulls him up into a double underhook Canadian backbreaker! Dan Stein irish whips Big Bad Bill into Johnny Lee Harley with his devastating lariot he calls The Steer Mover!!
(Jones drives Rally's head into the mat with a stiff piledriver out of the Canadian backbreaker!! Dan Stein crotchties The Microshocker's arm through his legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein pumphandles The Shock up into The Reckoning!! Stein pulls Rally Jackson up by the dreads and irish whips him, but Rally Jackson reverses it and sends Stein into Bill who corkscrew spears him!!
(The Staples Center explodes with cheers. Rally Jackson kicks Cobryn in the stomach and lifts him up & over his shoulder, then drops down into a widow's peak! Stan "The Tank" Wilson stands on Cobryn's throat, choking him with his 325 pounds)
Phil Blauer: That's quite a load to be standing on your neck.
Guillermo O’Bannon: In the other ring, The Microshocker irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes and then takes him down with a Shockercanrana!! He sits on Jones face a little longer than most versions though. The Microshocker getting a little revenge for the beating he took in Manchester, England from Lucifer Jones in the Hardkore Britain title match.
(The fans cheer as The Shock grinds his nuts in Lucifer Jones' face. Johnny Lee Harley pulls The Microshocker up in a double underhook and DDTs his face into the canvas! A bleeding Big Bad Bill pulls Cobryn's head into his legs, as Rally Jackson climbs to the second turnbuckle, ducking his head under the roof of the cage)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pulls Cobryn up on his shoulder and then Rally comes down with the assist for the Tower of Terror bomb!! Rally pulls him up, but Cobryn punches him right in the grapes, and Dan Stein hits Jackson with a stunner!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining."
(The crowd boos. A bloody Stan Wilson irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and catches him with a flapjack facefirst into the steel cage!! The fans cheer wildly. Cobryn staggers back with a crimson face, and The Microshocker X factors his face into the canvas, leaving a bloody stain where Cobryn's face bounced)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Microshocker gets a running start and spears himself over the ropes into the second ring at Dan Stein, but Lucifer Jones intercepts him with an emerald frosion brainbuster!! Johnny Lee Harley comes off the second rope with a leg drop across The Shock's face!
(Cobryn drops Big Bad Bill with a wrist clutch exploder! Cobryn pulls Bill up by the hair and Bill whacks Cobryn in the shins with a sweep kick. Cobryn bounces up & down, clutching his calf)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pops Cobryn in the face with a superkick! In the other ring, Stan "The Tank" Wilson scoops Lucifer Jones up and drops him with a owendriver he calls The Tank Drop!!
("Tigerheart" Rally Jackson catches Dan Stein coming through the ropes between the two rings with a rolling koppo kick! Stan Wilson irish whips Lucifer Jones but he jumps up on the ropes, and walks across to the other ring on the middle of the top rope, then jumps off and catches Big Bad Bill with a springboard DDT)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley picks The Microshocker up in a powerbomb so high he hits his head on the roof of the cage, then powerbombs the back of his head against the turnbuckle!!
Phil Blauer: Yikes, that was more head damage than the VCR at the porn shop gets!
Guillermo O’Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein pulls The Microshocker up in a backslide then latches his head with both hands and pulls him over his back, bending his neck over his shoulder! The Microshocker's own 200 pounds of weight are pressuring that neck that just got knocked into the cage and turnbuckle!
(Cobryn sits on Stan Wilson's back and applies a sleeper hold to his head & face. Cobryn pulls back as if in a camel clutch, but clamps down on his face with the sleeper)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining!"
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein bouncing The Microshocker's neck up & down across his shoulder as Mad Dog Vachon did with that same move back in the old AWA in the 60's. Rally Jackson pops Cobryn in the face with a kawada kick to break The Cobryn Clutch!
(Big Bad Bill applies The Dis-Locator on Cobryn and he shrieks in pain! The fans roar at the submission move and the bell rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match is over! Cobryn has submitted and Legion X and The Dark Ryderz Movement have retained the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!"
Phil Blauer: What?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The senior referee Ron Reid has signalled that it was The Microshocker that submitted to The Final Solution neckbreaker and not Cobryn. The Society tries to get out while the gettin's good, but Big Bad Bill is bludgeoning Dan Stein with those billyclubs!
("Sexy" Anjanette Turner & Domino open up the cage door and drag Dan Stein out while Bill goes to town on his legs with the nightstick! Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, and Johnny Lee Harley escape out the other side as "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays on the PA system)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed's Escape From LA includes the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles!
(Anjanette Turner and Domino hand Jones, Harley, Cobryn and Stein their title belts which total 5 in number. They show the ridiculousness of it all by trying to loft them all but some fall)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Next month fans is the Hardkore Helloween Cup. A tournament that's been around since 1995, it is four barbed wire falls count anywhere battle royals. The way to eliminate your opponent is to pin him or make him submit. The winner of those four battle royals team up in a barbed wire tag team match later on in the evening. The winning team wrestles later that night in a barbed wire match to be declared the 2005 Hardkore Helloween Champion and recieve a title shot at the Hardkore World Champion. Also, Cobryn puts that Hardkore World Championship on the line against Death Gojira. Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Lucifer Jones dons the dog collar in a match with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight & West Coast Champion Syberus. New Hardkore World Women's Champion Ashley puts her belt on the line for the first time with her hated rival Alley in a steel cage match. Join us then folks!
(Video fades out on a bloody Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, Dan Stein, Johnny Lee Harley, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, and Domino posing on the stage with their new title belts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello, and welcome back to LA! Here next to me is the biggest phony in this town. Phil Blauer.
Phil Blauer: Lakers suck.
(The audience boos)
Phil Blauer: That was easy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight as you can see we have two rings.
Phil Blauer: WOW! When did those get here??
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil you walked right past them. Anyway, those are for tonight's big Wargames match.
Phil Blauer: This is one of my favorite matches. This is a match where you must get inside the head of Matthew McConaughey and outwit a supercomputer that you unwittingly asked to start a thermonuclear holocaust. My money's on "Nasty" Ned.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That was Wargames, the movie and it was Matthew Broderick.
Phil Blauer: Nooooo, I think I know my McConaughey movies. I'm president of The Matthew McConaughey Fan Club...
Guillermo O'Bannon: (covers his face) Your the President of the Matthew Broderick Fan Club...
Phil Blauer: WARGAMES WAS A GOOD MOVIE!!
(former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone and Yolanda Ando have to restrain Phil while Guillermo continues his intro)
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, tonight's Wargames match is a throwback to one of the best gimmick matches wrestling has ever seen. And at this point, all wrestling has is throwback. Cobryn shocked the World in Phoenix when he reformed the legendary Society of the New Breed. With the help of Lucifer Jones and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, Cobryn defeated Big Bad Bill for the Hardkore World Championship. Now Bill has a chance to get some revenge on him, along with the rest of Legion X & The Dark Ryderz Movement. They put their Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles on the line against The Society of the New Breed in a great Wargames Match up.
Phil Blauer: Lakers suck.
(The audience boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's one of our first title vs. title matches in a long time. Winner take all. Syberus viciously attacked Hardkore Canada's Uncrowned Champion with a chair in Phoenix after he won the West Coast title. After that he challenged Zack Daniels to tonight's winner take all match.
Phil Blauer: You said that twice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match should be a show stealer, both men are so good at their craft, we could be seeing a match of the year candidate. Then another great grudge match, High Maintenance came down to the ring during last month's steel cage match between The Un-Stable and "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson & "The Punisher" Dan Stein. Rally did have a whole lot of chance since Dan Stein left him in the beginning of the match.
Phil Blauer: Is it me, or did it seem like that entire card was just a big mindfuck by The Society of the New Breed, Legion X, and The Un-Stable?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Feels that way. High Maintenance stole their belts back, unofficially, and so tonight Robert Hunglestien III & Andrew Karnage try and get them back in a ladder match. Then Ashley gets a rematch against The Society of the New Breed's "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. In Phoenix, Ashley was in the midst of giving Turner her acid drop, when Anjanette pushed her into Zack Daniels who delivered his vicious shining wizard that also won him the Hardkore West Coast title that same night.
Phil Blauer: Zack Daniels is one of our top female wrestlers.
Guillermo O'Bannon: So tonight, Ashley challenges Turner to a leather strap match for the Hardkore World Women's Championship. It's a type that Ashley invented where one must tag all four corners before they can pin their opponent. The winner will go on to face either Alley or Tamara Sanchez at Hardkore Helloween next month. Alley, Tamara Sanchez, Vampira, Horror Girl, and Vagabond wrestled in a #1 contenders match at the America West Arena.
Phil Blauer: I remember that match. Lots of tight little...moves.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The time limit expired with Tamara Sanchez and Alley left. Tonight, they wrestle in a sudden death match to see who's going to Cleveland to face the champion.Then it’s a 2/3 falls match between the two shooters, “The Saiyko Terrororist” Tatsuya Arakawa & The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: This is bound to be stiffer than Michael Jackson at Disneyland.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Two of our young lions in the ladies division, Vagabond & Horror Girl will wrestle. I guarantee you Vagabond had never wrestled anyone like Horror Girl over in the EWW.
Phil Blauer: Except for when she wrestled her last month.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Right, except for that. Then Adrian Tanner Jr. hot off his win over SWAT World Heavyweight Champion Stan Wilson is set to take on Kilroy Evans right after our first match up, so let’s get underway!
Phil Blauer: Lets!
("Start The Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot fills the Staples Center)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wait...who's...?
(Rated X steps through the curtain in a Hardkore World t-shirt and blue jeans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe it!! Rated X, Hardkore World Hall of Famer and former Hardkore World Champion, former Hardkore America TV Champion, Rated X is here! This is the man who carried that Hardkore World Championship for nearly two years! He's returned to Hardkore World!!
(Rated X walks down the ramp dragging a bloody, dented steel chair behind him. He slides into, sets up his chair, and takes a seat. "Wild" Bill Kasal humbly hands him the microphone)
Rated X: "Three score years ago our forefathers, men named Blassie, Graham, Samartino, and Farat set forth a precident of pain. They fought with honor until they could fight no more, then they bled. Then they managed. Their life is our life, be it the top draws and world champions, or the chubby kid flopping around on a stained mattress like a gold fish pulled from the water. Professional wrestlers don't retire, we die unexpectedly in motel rooms or on the road. Or we stopped getting booked. My retirement, impossed by injury and federal judges is over tonight!"
Phil Blauer: I don't believe it!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X?? Returning to competitive action?!?
(The Staples Center crowd breaks into a chant of "WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!!")
Rated X: "I look around the locker room and see the names have changed, but the faces remain the same. That smile full of hope has moved from Cyrus Williams to Syberus. The tired look of disappointment and shame has moved from Gorgeous Greg to Cyrus Williams. There's pretty boys, and ugly girls, and girly boys like Zach Daniels and The Shock. No matter, they're all the same to me. Wherever I look I see pieces of meat waiting to marinate in their own juices. I see a clean canvass under my feet waiting to be painted crimson with the blood of every mark backstage. I've had one loss in this company that 'Irish' Mike Powers still talks about while teetering on a barstool in a New Jersey suburb. I am the last man to hold the Hardkore America Television Title. I am the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion that all men who followed are graded against. I am a LEGIT first ballot hall of famer and arguably the greatest wrestler to step in this ring. Next month in Cleveland Ohio I'm entering the Helloween tournament representing the Hardkore World Hall of Fame. I'm a starving man let loose in a slaughterhouse. I'm a shot of mayhem chased by bottled rage. I'm the chair swingin', hard drinkin', punk-ass-bitch killin' scared up monster Rated X!!!
(X drops the mic, the audience is deafening, chanting "WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!!" Rated X walks out through the crowd, as a near riot ensues from people trying to touch him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hardkore World's prodigal son has returned!
(The opening bell rings and the 20,000 in attendance applaud as they get to their seats. Then “Your Body’s Callin” by R. Kelly plays. The crowd boos as Jeremiah Vastrix slinks out to the ring. The ladies in attendance squeal, and their boyfriends sneer. He walks over to a woman in her late 20’s in the front row. He spots her kid next to her and pretends to hear another fan calling him and says he has to go)
Phil Blauer: Nice dismount.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix had a thrilling Iron Man match at Irage Rage in Belfast, and looking to take that momentum to a rematch with Syberus. Last time Vastrix was in Los Angeles was in February. He lost a tag team stretcher match with Tarrasque against Andrew Sinclair’s stablemates, The Miracle Violence Combination II. It was the first round of the Hardkore World Tag Team title tournament.
Yolanda Ando: Jeremiah Vastrix is wearing a black & purple bodysuit.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I'm still reeling about Rated X showing up, what else does this show have in store for us?
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the The Staples Center. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine present to you tonight’s card of wrestling excellence. Tonight’s first match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard Tarrasque, and his manager, Lucius Morgan; He hails from Hong Kong, China; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 165 pounds...’GOD’S GIFT’ JEREMIAH VASTRIX!!!”
(The Los Angeles crowd boos him. “Chilly Water” by Widespread Panic plays and Robert Hunglestien III leads Andrew Sinclair down to the ring. The fans cheer and reach out for Sinclair but he ignores them on the way to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair looking to get back in a winning way after dropping a match to The Microshocker. But apparantly it was a ruse to catch Rally Jackson by surprise when he joined The Un-Stable.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Robert Hunglestien III; from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...’THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER’ ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!”
(The Staples Center gives him a big pop, while he loosens up the ropes. Jeremiah Vastrix runs at the corner, springs off of it to about the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix springs off of the top rope with a Monkey's Kick of the Western Sigil that catches Sinclair blindside! Mike Peters signals for the bell and our first match is underway!
(Jeremiah Vastrix steps through the ropes into the second ring. Mike Peters demands that he return but Jeremiah shakes his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix demanding that the match begin in the ring he chooses. Mike Peters gives in.
Phil Blauer: I could have told you that. That dude folds quicker than Kevin Nash’s knee on a stairmaster.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair and Peters join him in the ring, and Vastrix steps back into the old ring.
(The America West Arena boos. Mike Peters shrugs and steps back into the other ring. He begins counting Sinclair out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A frustrated Sinclair steps back into the ring, and Vastrix pulls it again. This time Sinclair steps off of the second rope and inzuigiri kicks Jeremiah in the back of the head!
(The fans pop, as Vastrix gets tangled up in the ropes between the two rings. Sinclair attempts to suplex Vastrix back into the ring but Jeremiah blocks it by grabbing the second rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix knife edge chops Sinclair in the throat. He slingshots himself over the ropes into a sunset flip back in the ring!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Andrew Sinclair claps his legs on Vastrix’s head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix hits Sinclair with an open handed strike to his nose that backs him up. Sinclair returns with an elbow to Vastrix’s face, a second one to his jaw backs him up into the corner. He backs into the opposite corner and then runs & leaps into a kneesmash to Vastrix’s face!
(The crowd gets louder. Andrew Sinclair scoops Vastrix up but on the slam downward, Vastrix hooks his leg and inside cradles him! He grabs the rope unbeknownst to Peters)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix irish whips Andrew Sinclair into the ropes and presses him over his head. God’s Gift drops him into a Stock Market Crash spinebuster!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix stomps Andrew Sinclair in the mouth. Jeremiah pulls Sinclair up into a double chicken wing, but Sinclair mule kicks him in the groin before he can complete Sage's Slam of the Ancient Ring.
Phil Blauer: My precious...my precious....
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil stop talking to your hair. Andrew Sinclair tags him with a uraken spinning backfist. Andrew Sinclair german suplexes him!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Jeremiah Vastrix rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair wraps his legs around Vastrix’s body and applies a triangle choke. Sinclair applies pressure to Vastrix’s neck with his arm and constricts his breathing with those powerful legs.
(Lucius Morgan has to restrain Tarrasque from running into the ring. Finally, Tarrasque breaks away, and rakes Sinclair’s eyes. The LA crowd boos and Hunglestien threatens the Warhammer Corporation as Peters demands that RHIII return to his corner. Sinclair breaks the triangle choke to care for his eyes and Vastrix gets to his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: With the help of his bodyguard, Vastrix survives the triangle choke. Vastrix wheelbarrows Sinclair’s legs and then punt kicks him in the groin!
(The audience jeers and boos Vastrix, as Peters tries to reason with him. Jeremiah Vastrix irish whips Sinclair into the ropes, but follows him in with a baseball slide kick to his ankle that sends him out of the ring to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair gets to his feet and Tarrasque spears him into the ring steps!! Robert Hunglestien III starts to chase Tarrasque around the ring, leaving him for Lucius Morgan. Morgan fireman’s carries Sinclair up on his shoulders and then drops his throat on the guardrail!!
(Sinclair clutches his throat, and Hunglestien comes back to see if he’s ok. Jeremiah Vastrix stalks them from the apron. He hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault but Hunglestien & Sinclair split up, leaving him to hit the railing!! The crowd goes nuts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair lifts Vastrix up onto his shoulders with a fireman’s carry. He dumps him over into a death valley driver on The Staples Center floor!!
(The audience lets out the first big pop of the night. Sinclair rolls Vastrix back in the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair comes off the top with a Bombs Away Kneedrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair takes Vastrix over with a dragon screw leg whip. He irish whips Vastrix into the ropes and wraps his legs around Vastrix’s knee, dropping him with a sambo takedown! Sinclair applies a leg bar, clamping down on Vastrix’s twisted knee.
(Vastrix cries out in anguish as Lucius Morgan tries to encourage him. Mike Peters checks in to see if Vastrix wants to give up. He shakes his head, and then curses in pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque pushes out the bottom rope so that Vastrix can grab it. Mike Peters forces Sinclair to break the achilles hold. Vastrix limps up to his feet and then unleashes a vicous roundhouse kick!
(Sinclair gets back up to his feet and hooks Vastrix with an STO! The crowd cheers and Sinclair motions for Vastrix to get up. Vastrix slides underneath a running high kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix tags Sinclair in the chest with a heart punch uppercut! Vastrix lifts Sinclair up in a hanging suplex then drops him into his own Go to the ER!!
(The Staples Center rocks with boos as Vastrix gets up with a cocky smile on his face. He arrogantly covers him with his back)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix fireman’s carries Sinclair up on his shoulder and sits him on the top turnbuckle.
Phil Blauer: Nothing good can come of this.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He pulls Sinclair’s head into his legs, but Sinclair twisting ranas Vastrix off the second rope!! The crowd jumps to their feet, and Sinclair drills him into the mat with a uranage!
(Sinclair applies a hizajugigatame kneebar on Vastrix’s aching leg. Sinclair applies pressure to Vastrix’s worn down knee while Peters checks in to see if he submits. Tarrasque holds out the rope again but he’s much too far away. Hunglestien applauds)
Phil Blauer: Sinclair most likely getting some advice from his partner Kilroy Evans, who broke Vastrix’s leg in Denver last December.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair slowing down the pace of this match and keeping the striker Jeremiah Vastrix on the mat with the Hizajugigatame. Vastrix is finally able to roll over and grab the ropes, so Peters calls for a break. Sinclair goes for an exploder, but Vastrix elbows out of it. He smacks Sinclair with a karate chop uppercut.
(Jeremiah Vastrix twists Sinclair’s arm and then back hook kicks him to the mat! The LA audience boos. Jeremiah Vastrix presses Sinclair over his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix military presses Andrew Sinclair over his head again and this time drops him in a Bottom Line ace crusher!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Vastrix pulls him up into a powerbomb but Sinclair rolls through and lands on his feet in front of him. This time he hits the exploder!
(Vastrix gets up on his knees and gets whacked in the chest with a running soccer kick to the chest. The fans cheer the noise it makes. Hunglestien signals to Morgan that that had to hurt. Andrew Sinclair lifts Vastrix up into a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gives Vastrix a reciept for The Go to the ER!!
(Vastrix clutches his face and screams “My face, my beautiful face...” Sinclair makes the cover)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Jeremiah Vastrix kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair full nelsons Vastrix. He drops back into a dragon suplex but Vastrix backflips onto his feet behind him. Vastrix uppercuts him in the jaw with a kick! Vastrix pulls him up and completes the powerbomb this time!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
(Vastrix sits on Sinclair’s back and full nelsons his arms. He sits back into Andrew Sinclair’s cattle mutilation submission. Sinclair growls in pain, and curses Vastrix out of the side of his mouth)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix applies The Straight Shot on Andrew Sinclair!
Phil Blauer: He has Sinclair scouted well. Score one for the veteran.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix rocking back in The Straight Shot as Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit. Vastrix releases the cattle mutilation, and climbs to the top rope from inside the ring...moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix climbs to the top rope again and comes off with a stomp to a standing Sinclair, but he moves out of the way. Sinclair tosses him across the ring with a rolling ipponzei! Vastrix landed hard on his shoulder. Like a shark smelling blood, Sinclair springs on him with a fujiwara armbar!
(Vastrix screams bloody murder. Sinclair plants his feet and pulls up on Jeremiah’s arm. Hunglestien pounds on the mat to get the crowd to clap for Sinclair and they do. Vastrix balls up his fists in pain. Sinclair turns it into a jujigatame cross armbar)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vastrix caught in the center of the ring in the jujigatame by Andrew Sinclair! Sinclair yanks up on Vastrix’s armbarred arm, as Mike Peters in perfect position to see the submission. Sinclair releases the jujigatame and bounces into the ropes, precision perfect kneedrop to Vastrix’s shoulder!
(The audience applauds his signature kneedrop. Sinclair then sits on Vastrix’s back and pulls back his head & arms with a cattle mutilation! The fans leap to their feet and celebrate. Mike Peters continually asks Vastrix if he wants to give up but Jeremiah his shaking his head “no”)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair showing Jeremiah Vastrix how to apply The Straight Shot! He rocks back on that head, but more importantly Vastrix’s injured shoulder! Vastrix is in the center of the ring, so no escape!
(Vastrix finally nods his head and Mike Peters signals for the bell! The audience applauds both men for a good match as “Chilly Water” by Widespread Panic plays)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jeremiah Vastrix had no choice. It was either give up or spend a year on the IR.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: "At 13 minutes 24 seconds, THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER' ANDREW SINCLAIR!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans cheer as Hunglestien raises Sinclair's arm in victory. They walk to the back together)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair showing himself to be a very lethal part of The Un-Stable. Next month, both these men will be involved in the infamous Hardkore Helloween barbed wire series. Who knows? This time in two months, either man could be facing Cobryn or Death Gojira for the Hardkore World Championship. For Sinclair it would be in his hometown of Sacramento.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have the match between two longtime veterans, Adrian Tanner Jr. and Kilroy Evans. Tanner had a big win over Stan Wilson in his homestate of Arizona last month. Kilroy Evans had the same result, defeating "The Saiyko Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa.
(The America West Arena house lights dim to black and spliced footage from Metal Gear Solid III appears on the screen)
Revolver Ocelot: Hold it right there, traitor. Let's find out just how lucky you are.
(Ocelot reveals a bullet for his revolver. He loads the bullet)
Ocelot: Watch closely. (takes out three revolvers)
Ocelot: One of these three guns has a single bullet in it. I'm going to pull the trigger six times in a row. Are you ready?
(Ocelot juggles the three guns. Each time he pulls a trigger, Sokolov winces. The fifth time a trigger is pulled, Sokolov pisses his pants)
Ocelot: Looks like your luck hasn't run out yet.
(The sixth time, the gun fires and the screen shatters into a million pieces as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers)
*BOOM!*
(A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames)
Phil Blauer: Aaaaagh!! Are the spiders back?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Spiders don't go boom, Phil. And get out of my lap.
Phil Blauer: (straightens out his suit) Common mistake.
(When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down. Black and white footage continues to play on the screen as Adrian begins his walk down the ramp, slapping a couple hands on the way down. At the last verse, Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down.)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. making a name for himself in the tag team ranks over in SWAT Australia winning the World Tag Team titles over there. He'd love to get a win over another tag team icon, Kilroy Evans here tonight.
Phil Blauer: And I'd love to watch a toothpaste commercial that didn't subliminally make me want a blowjob. No I wouldn't.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yolanda?
Yolanda Ando: (brushing her teeth) Oh, I'm sorry Guillermo. I'm just trying this new Crest multi-mint toothpaste. Mmmm. It just makes my entire mouth tingle and feel alive. I love to run my tongue over my teeth to feel how smooth they feel. It's like a party in there.
Phil Blauer: Oh god...
Guillermo O'Bannon: Don't you want to do the fashion report?
Yolanda Ando: Yeah, hold on. Let me spit.
Phil Blauer: OH YES! (lights a cigarette, and smokes, satified)
Yolanda Ando: Adrian Tanner Jr. is wearing some red shorts with gold flames, with black elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
(The audience gives him a big pop. Then "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays and the fans go ballistic. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring with Andrew Karnage in tow. Evans waves at the fans and then slides under the ropes. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and waves at the crowd)
Guillermo O'Bannon: New music and a new attitude by The Attbury Assassin.
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans setting his sights on the Hardkore America title, a championship he hasn't been able to land despite repeated shots against Death Gojira and Cobryn.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil. Kilroy Evans was also busy defending those Hardkore World tag team titles & six man tag team titles. Now he's looking to get some singles gold here in Hardkore World.
Yolanda Ando: Kilroy Evans wears a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt and red, white, and blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds...KILROY EVANS!!!"
(The Staples Center erupts in applause. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Kilroy Evans and Adrian Tanner Jr. circle one another. Adrian Tanner takes Kilroy over into an armdrag)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner cinches in an armbar to take the match to the mat early. He sticks his knee into the ball of Kilroy's shoulder and clamps down on the arm.
(Kilroy Evans works his way back up to his feet with Tanner still armbarring his arm. He bites the nose of Adrian Tanner, making him releases the armbar, and run in place from the pain)
Phil Blauer: That's one way out of an armbar.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. smacks Evans in the chest with a few karate chops but with that Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt they're having minimal effect. He irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and drops him with a nice dropkick!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. front facelocks Evans and climbs up to the second turnbuckle. He comes off with a tornado DDT but Kilroy throws him off into a spinebuster! The crowd cheers. Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy belly to belly suplexes Adrian Tanner Jr.! He makes the pin attempt!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy turns Tanner over into a boston crab. He plants his feet and tries to sit low & tight on the back of Adrian Matthew Tanner Jr.
Phil Blauer: That's funny. Isn't your middle name Matthew?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, it's Cornelius. What's yours?
Phil Blauer: Jessica.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: My trivia section has just been updated!
(Kilroy Evans backs up so as to yank Tanner's legs back even further. Tanner then powers out of it, pitching Evans forward with his powerful legs. He headlocks Kilroy)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner flips Kilroy Evans over with a headlock takedown. Evans' shoulders are pinned to the mat.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Kilroy Evans rolls Adrian Tanner Jr. into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner rolls back over into the headlock)
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans looking a little out of sorts when there isn't barbed wire or pirhana in the match.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. scoops Kilroy up and drops him in a backbreaker. He wraps up Kilroy's legs, sticks his knees in Kilroy's back, and then bridges him up into a bow & arrow submission! Just as good as Tatsumi Fujiyama's, I would say.
(Kilroy shakes his head as Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to submit. Tanner bounces Evans' back on his knees while pulling back on his chest & twisted legs. He releases the bow & arrow and then irish whips Kilroy into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner comes back with a flying body press but Kilroy catches him and powerslams him! He pulls him up onto his feet and then pitches him forward onto his face in an inverted russian legsweep!
(Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the turnbuckles and follows him in with an avalanche! He headlocks Tanner and runs into the center of the ring with a bulldog. He then crouches down and applies an on-the-mat sleeper hold)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans, the bigger man, trying to wear down Tanner.
Phil Blauer: The added weight has got to be pressing against Tanner's back. It's like the sweaty guy on the bus who just keeps getting, closer...and closer...and closer.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner fighting his way back to his feet, but Kilroy cinches in the sleeper harder. Tanner finally drops down to his knees and drives the top of his head through Kilroy's chin with a jawbreaker! Kilroy staggers around, stunned, and Tanner takes him out of his sneakers with a spear!
(The crowd cheers and Adrian Tanner drops a couple kneedrops to the small of Kilroy's back. He then comes off the ropes and drops an elbow to his back. He sticks his knee in Kilroy's back and pulls back on his arms)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. working down Kilroy Evans' back, first with the bow & arrow and then with the surfboard. He grabs hold of those red, white, & blue wristbanded wrists and yanks back on his arms. Ron Reid asking Evans if he wants to give it up but Kilroy won't have it.
(Tanner irish whips Kilroy into the ropes and goes for a huracanrana but Kilroy reverses it into a powerbomb!! He crouches over Tanner's limp body and bludgeons his face with headbutts)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans headbutting Tanner over & over. He applies an armbar to Tanner's arm now, clamping down on the arm. He then bites on Tanner's arm!
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl and Kilroy Evans have been seeing alot of each other lately.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (furiously typing away on his laptop) I'm breaking the story. I can't wait to see the look on their faces at RKOnews.com when they see how I scooped those bitches. Can I use you as a source, sir?
Phil Blauer: (ruffles his hair) Sure can.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "Rumors have abounded about just what is the relationship between Kilroy Evans and Horror Girl. A strikingly handsome source has told me that, while unconfirmed, Kilroy may or may not be knocking the bottom out of that. Maybe even as we speak. No comment from Emily Evans, if that is her real name, but sources close to her say they don't really know who she is."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans irish whips Tanner into the ropes and takes him off with a roundhouse kick! He applies an STF on Arizona's Most Wanted! He pulls up on Tanner's head.
Phil Blauer: I gotta say, Kilroy definately showing more matwork than I'm used to seeing from him.
(Kilroy whacks him with a few forearm smashes and then reapplies the crossface! After some agonizing moments, he pulls Tanner to his feet in a waistlock. He german suplexes Tanner with a nice bridge)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for a piledriver, but Tanner blocks it and back body drops him over. He hooks Evans and gives him a snap suplex. He rolls his hips and pulls him up into a second snap suplex! He rolls up for a third one, but Kilroy blocks it and reverses with a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy irish whips Tanner into the ropes, but Adrian tumbles underneath a big boot, he shows up on the other side with The Daytripper superkick!!
(The crowd cheers and Kilroy Evans rolls out of the ring to keep Tanner from capitalizing. Tanner steps through the ropes out on to the apron. He gets a running start and huracanranas Kilroy Evans on the floor!! The fans get louder, chanting "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!")
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner back up on the apron, gets a running start and goes for a 7 year itch but Kilroy rolls out of the way!!
Phil Blauer: Tanner's chest hit that concrete hard, and now Kilroy Evans is just rubbing his face into The Staples Center floor!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rolls Tanner onto the apron. He pulls him up into a three quarter nelson then drops him with The Bad Touch off of the apron onto the concrete!!
(The Los Angeleans change their minds and start chanting "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" Kilroy climbs up on to the apron, and comes off with an elbow drop that Adrian Tanner Jr. avoids)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. double underhooks Kilroy's arms and gives him a tiger driver '91 on the floor!!
Phil Blauer: That tiger driver was SO '91.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He rolls Kilroy back into the ring and applies an abdominal stretch. He's continuing to work the spot that was just dumped so unceremoniously on the concrete.
(He plants his foot and pulls back on Kilroy's arm. He punches him a few times in the kidneys as Reid checks in to see if he wants to submit. He turns it into a corkscrew neckbreaker! Some pockets of fans around The Staples Center applaud as Tanner hooks the leg)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner waistlocks Evans, but Kilroy back elbows him in the face to escape the german.
Phil Blauer: He calls that his Anne Frank Attic Escape.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No he doesn't.
Phil Blauer: (goes back to doodling on his index cards) ...he should.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy kicks Tanner in the guts and then DDTs him! He runs into the ropes and baseball slide kicks his head!
(The fans cheer. Kilroy Evans straddles over top of him and rains down on Tanner with punches. He gets up and scrapes his boot across the Tanner's face. He pulls him up into a full nelson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans dragon suplexes Adrian Tanner Jr., no bridge, all impact! He waits for Tanner to get up. When he does, Kilroy comes full speed ahead into a spear, but Tanner catches him with a spinning DDT!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. hooks Kilroy up and vertical suplexes him. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle and waits for Evans to get to his feet. He flips over him with a blockbuster)
Phil Blauer: For years I've hated that move. Now I've just grown numb.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think you mean dumb. Adrian Tanner Jr. irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, and then drop toe holds his throat on to the second rope! He runs into the ropes and comes back to jump on Kilroy's back, but Kilroy moves and Tanner's throat hits the second rope the same way!
(Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and elbow drops Tanner's back. He pulls Tanner up and then sits him on the top turnbuckle. Evans gets a running start and then clotheslines him to the floor below! The LA audience cheers Tanner's clumsy fall to the concrete)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans pulls a table out from underneath the ring and sets it up at ringside. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He sticks his finger in his mouth and checks the wind, then splashes Tanner through the table on the floor!!!
(The Staples Center is deafening with chants of "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" Kilroy pulls him up by the hair and swings him headfirst into the guardrail!! Tanner clutches his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans grabs Tanner by the legs and spinebusters his back into the railing!!
Phil Blauer: That could have busted his spine! They should call it something like that like...backbreaker!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy rolls Tanner back into the ring and then pulls his head into his legs. Evans lifts him up into a crucifix but Tanner falls on his feet behind him, he runs into the ropes and comes back with a flying body press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner climbs to the top turnbuckle and turns into a 180 corkscrew splash but there's no water in the pool!!
(Kilroy Evans bends Tanner's legs at the knees and crosses his ankles similar to an inverted Indian deathlock. Kilroy then lays on top of him, with his legs pointing towards Tanner's upperbody. Kilroy holds the legs down with his back, using his own legs to hook Adrian's arms. Kilroy forces Tanner's head forward into the mat, while laying back on Adrian's crossed ankles and has hooked his arms under the Tanner's knees; pulling upward and wrenching on them)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner is locked up in The Firewater Burn!! He rocks back & forth on Tanner's knees, as Adrian's screams can be heard in the cheap seats that I get for my parents.
Phil Blauer: (waves to the back) Hi, Mr. & Mrs. O'Bannon!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner is in some kind of pain here. Ron Reid begging him to quit.
Phil Blauer: Ron should really learn to mind his own buisness. Is all I'm sayin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans having a hell of a match tonight, trying to get back into contention for Lucifer Jones' Hardkore America title. Kilroy releases The Firewater Burn and scoops him up into a slam, but Tanner falls behind him and whacks him upside the head with an inzuigiri!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. waistlocks Kilroy Evans and german suplexes him. He pulls him back up to his feet and hits him with a second german suplex. He lifts an exhausted Kilroy up again in the waistlock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. gives Kilroy a third rolling german suplex and bridges this one!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner climbs up to the top turnbuckle and front flips into a 450 legdrop that Kilroy's not there for!
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans, the unreliable landing pad.
Guillermo O'Bannon: You say that like it's a bad thing. Kilroy Evans irish whips Tanner chestfirst into the turnbuckles and follows him in with a spear to the back! Kilroy climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with an elbow drop to Tanner's sternum!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs and jumps on Tanner's back with The Piggyback but Tanner drops to his knees and catches Kilroy's throat on the top rope! He inverted russian legsweeps Kilroy's face into the turnbuckle!
(Adrian Tanner sits on Evans' back and full nelsons him. He presses Evans face into the canvas, while applying pressure to the back of his neck. Ron Reid checks in to see if he submits)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. working down Evans' neck with a form of the cattle mutilation. He then pulls Kilroy up to his feet in the full nelson and dragon suplexes him! He maintains the full nelson and pulls Kilroy up to his feet again. He steps up to the second turnbuckle and full nelson bulldogs Kilroy's face into the mat!!
(Adrian Tanner Jr. slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope, he leaps off into a huracanrana into a spinning DDT, but Kilroy uses the momentum to death valley driver his head into the canvas!! The crowd leaps to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs off the ropes and soccer kicks Tanner in the chest while he's on his knees! He applies a rear naked choke and bridges Tanner backwards over Evans' side. Tanner's face turns red from lack of oxygen.
(Tanner tries to get his fingers underneath the forearm of Kilroy Evans, but no go. He kicks his legs out wildly, clamping down on Tanner's windpipe. Kilroy releases it and pulls Evans' head into his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans crucifix powerbombs Adrian Tanner Jr.!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans presses Tanner over his head and then drops him down onto his shoulder, runs into the center of the ring and Ultimate Thump powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for The Bad Touch but Tanner pushes him off into the turnbuckles! He drops Evans with a TKO neckbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. pulls himself up into the middle of the top rope, and springboards off into a senton but Kilroy rolls out of the way!! Kilroy Evans irish whips him into the ropes and hits him with a big boot to the face! He lifts him up into a back suplex and then drops him in his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center lets out a big pop and Kilroy Evans leaps to his feet with his arms raised in victory. "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays as Reid raises Evans arm)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 58 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...KILROY EVANS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. wore down Kilroy's back this entire match, but The Attgury Assassin was still able to pull this one out. Kilroy Evans shows that an old dog can surely learn new tricks with a new arsenal of high impact moves that we're not used to from the ground & pounder.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of which, Kilroy Evans is the Official Wrestler of Hamburger Helper. "Hamburger Helper...it Makes a Great Meal."
Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe Jonnie gave you the sponsorship reads.
Phil Blauer: Who would buy Hamburger Helper from you?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. lost this battle but looking to get a title shot against Kilroy's stablemates for the Hardkore World Tag Team titles with his partner, Syberus. But both he and Kilroy have to put that out of their minds and look forward to the barbed wire hell they have in front of them in Cleveland at Hardkore Helloween.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is our match between former Hardkore World Women's Champion Horror Girl and Highlight Reel with highlites, Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: Vagabond got highlites?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, but it sounded cool.
("Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf plays as the curtains part and Vagabond walks out with her hands up for the crowd. She slaps everyone's hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond has been a huge high spot in the women's division the past few months and is one of "Sexy" Anjanette Turner's biggest contenders.
Phil Blauer: What about Brandi?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, if she ever shows up. Sure.
Phil Blauer: Touche.
Yolanda Ando: Vagabond has dark hair, a green tanktop and stretch pants.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Bethany Beach, Delaware; Standing 5 feet even; Weighing 102 pounds...VAGABOND!!!"
(The Los Angeles audience gives her a huge ovation. Then "Haunted" by Evanescence plays and Mr.Fame and Bernice Biggs walk out to no pop. Horror Girl pushes them both out of the way only pausing to tilting her head towards the camera. When Horror Girl gets into the ring, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at the entranceway)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl is looking to get her title belt back from Sexy Anj. A win over the the high flying Vagabond would definately put her in line for that.
Phil Blauer: You know what she needs? A feller. A nice guy to take her out and put a little color in those pasty rotting cheeks. Hopefully, she can keep her mind on the match. With her pending lawsuit with Vampira, she could be distracted from her match tonight. I know what it's like to work with pending litigation, or a warrant for your arrest...
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing her tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by Bernice Biggs and Mr. Fame; From Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(The audience boos. Horror Girl pushes Mr. Fame out of her way and runs at Vagabond, clawing her in the face with her razor sharp nails. She hangs on to his face for a bit, screeching then throws her to the mat)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. Fame laughs at Vagabond, but she gets up and dropkicks him right in the grapes! Horror Girl comes from behind her and headlocks her.
(The fans cheer as Bernice Biggs helps a soprano Mr. Fame out of the ring. Horror Girl rope burns Vagabond's neck on the top rope. She then lifts Vagabond up by the throat with both arms and chokes the life out of her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl turns her over into a powerslam! She irish whips Vagabond into the ropes, but Vagabond comes back with a lou thez press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond runs into the ropes and takes Horror Girl down with a flying head scissors! She headlocks Horror Girl and goes for a bulldog, but Horror Girl pushes her off into the turnbuckle!
(Horror Girl scoops Vagabond up and bodyslams her hard into the mat. Vagabond gets up to her knees and catches a dropkick into her sternum. Horror Girl jams her fingers between Vagabond's and neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl applies a nerve hold to the shoulder of Vagabond.
Phil Blauer: It's not gonna cause a whole lot of people to submit, but it sure does hurt. Like an episode of Yes, Dear.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl will bites Vagabond's shoulder hard enough to break the skin! She crotch-ties Vagabond's arm through her legs and pulls her up into a pumphandle shoulderbreaker!
(The blood from Vagabond's shoulder stains the mummy wrap on Horror Girl's knee. Horror Girl then lifts Vagabond over her head in an inverted crucifix)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond gets loose and falls behind Horror Girl on her feet. She grabs her from behind in an inverted facelock, and drops down into an inverted DDT! She irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes and hits her with a huracanrana!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes down with a 747 splash!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond applies a crippler crossface on Horror Girl! She pulls up on her head & arm!
(Mr. Fame looks down his pants and screams at Bernice Biggs, "I need ice!" Bernice looks down there as well and says "A little swelling could help things." Vagabond links her hands together and gives a hard tug on her head. Horror Girl rolls her over into a cradle)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Vagabond releases the crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Bernice gets up on the apron and shakes the cropes, crotching Vagabond on the top turnbuckle. Horror Girl climbs to the second rope and butterflies both her arms. She double underhook superplexes her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl grabs her by the hair and twists, then tosses Vagabond over the top rope to the floor! Horror Girl then runs and jumps on the middle of the top rope and springboard dropkicks Vagabond into the guardrail!!
(Vagabond bounces off the security railing, and drops to floor. Bernice Biggs pulls her up and irish whips her into Horror Girl who gives her a huracanrana onto the steel steps!! The sound of it rings through The Staples Center)
Phil Blauer: Ouch! The force of that nearly knocked over my...Guillermo's Hard Rasberry Iced Tea.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl rolls back into the ring and waits for Vagabond to join her. Vagabond climbs up to the apron, but Horror Girl latches on the sides of her head with her nails. She kicks her legs out from under her and drops her throat on the top rope!
(Vagabond falls back into the railing! Horror Girl reaches out through the ropes and grabs Vagabond by the hair. She pulls her back in, pausing only to take a chomp out of her neck. Blood flows from Horror Girl's teeth, as Vagabond kicks & flails)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She pulls Vagabond back in, but Vagabond flips over her into a tarantula! She has her pinned against those ropes with no escape!
Phil Blauer: Normally hot, but I'll let this one pass.
(Blood drips from Vagabond's neck & shoulder onto the apron below. She flips back over into the ring and tornado punches Horror Girl so hard she flips over the ropes on to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond grabs the ropes and slingshots herself into a pescado dive on top of Horror Girl on the floor! She climbs up onto the apron, hops onto the middle of the second rope, and backflips into an asai moonsault that knocks Horror Girl into the railing!!
(The fans cheer and chant "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" She rolls Horror Girl into the ring, and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond flips & twists into a corkscrew legdrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond atomic drops Horror Girl on to the top turnbuckle and then pulls her upside down into a tree of woe. She backs up and running baseball slide kicks Horror Girl, but HG sits up and Vagabond crotches herself under the turnbuckles on the cornerpost!
(The audience boos. Horror Girl steps out and applies an anklelock with her leg wrapped around the ringpost. Vagabond cries out and tries to crawl away, but Horror Girl wrenches her foot as hard as she can)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl wrapping that leg of Vagabond's against that steel post. Vagabond finally kicks her off into the railing! She climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and corkscrew moonsaults Horror Girl on the floor!!
(The chants of "VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!! VAG-A-BOND!!" start up again. Horror Girl grabs two handfuls of Vagabond's hair and bites her cheek)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl biting Vagabond's cheek and then headbutts her face over & over. She rolls Vagabond into the ring and steps on the backs of both of her knees. She double toe holds her legs and then bridges her up in the air with a sleeper hold.
(Mike Peters checks in to see if Vagabond submits. She can't answer since Horror Girl has her head clamped in a sleeper. She bounces Vagabond's legs up & down with her powerful calves)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl releases the sleeper hold and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Vagabond shakes the top rope and crotches her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook. Vagabond climbs to the second rope and hooks her in a suplex, then steps up to the top rope and drops her with a Suicidaplex!! The momentum causes her to roll on top of Horror Girl!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips off with a senton splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond hops to the bottom rope and backflips into a moonsault! She hops up to the second rope and moonsaults her again!! She hops up to the top rope and backflips into a third moonsault but Horror Girl puts her knees up!! Horror Girl capitalizes with a pumphandle into a german suplex with a bridge!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Vagabond up and then drives her on to the back of her neck with a tigerdriver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl waits for Vagabond to struggle to her feet, then spears her into a short spinebuster!! She scoops her up but Vagabond falls behind Horror Girl on her feet. She smacks Horror Girl upside the head with a superkick!
(The Staples Center comes alive! Vagabond applies an anklelock on Horror Girl, giving her a reciept for the stunt she pulled on the cornerpost. Vagabond wraps her legs around Horror Girl's thigh and then drops down into an on-the-mat version)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond tries to twist Horror Girl's foot off. Something tells me a new one could just grow back.
Phil Blauer: You know she's from Houston, don't you?
Guillermo O'Bannon: She runs into the ropes, hops on the middle of the second rope and lionsaults Horror Girl!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes but she comes back and spits a fog of blood in Vagabond's face.
Phil Blauer: Ew.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts a blinded Vagabond up into an inverted crucifix and drops her on to her face in an inverted razor's edge!!
(While Vagabond is face down on the floor, Horror Girl sits down on her back and hooks her arm under Vagabond's and under her neck. Then, she hooks Vagabond's leg with her other arm. After clasping her hands together, she lifts her up off the mat and racks Vagabond over her back. When Horror Girl locks her hands together, this puts tremendous pressure on on the back, neck, shoulder and leg)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Zombiosis!! Horror Girl bends the smaller Vagabond across her back! Mike Peters checks in to see if she wants to give it up but Delaware's bravest wrestler refuses to submit! Horror Girl spins round & round to see if that does it, but nothing.
(Horror Girl drops Vagabond to the mat. As Vagabond gets to her knees, Horror Girl comes up from behind and locks her legs around the Vagabond's waist. She then puts a crossface sleeper hold and arches back, pulling Vagabond with her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Out of The Zombiosis into Spider's Woe! Horror Girl is arched perfectly on the mat while Vagabond is stretched in a sleeper. Mike Peters continuing to ask her if she wants to give it up.
(The Los Angeles crowd claps faster & faster, urging Vagabond to break Spider's Woe. Vagabond finally arches back and pins Horror Girl's shoulder to the mat)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Horror Girl releases Spider's Woe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl turns around and is monkey flipped across the ring! Horror Girl gets up again and is hit in the stomach with a spear!
(Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press!! The fans erupt into applause)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond grabs two handfuls of Horror Girl's hair and bulldogs her face into the mat! She climbs to the top rope, then tucks & rolls into a 450 splash but Horror Girl rolls out of the way!!
(The fans boo, as Vagabond knocks the wind out of herself. Horror Girl front facelocks Vagabond's head and climbs to the second rope and tornado DDTs her! The boos get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl gut wrenches Vagabond on to her shoulder but Vagabond takes her over into a huracanrana!! The crowd is back in this one, and Vagabond goes for a DDT but Horror Girl back body drops her! Horror Girl applies an armbar to Vagabond.
(Some "Booo-ring" chants start up around small pockets of The Staples Center. Horror Girl begins chomping down on Vagabond's fingers, until Mike Peters manually has to pull them out. Horror Girl then shows her massive strength by lifting her off her feet by her armbarred arm)
Phil Blauer: That's amazing!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl then points Vagabond's head towards the mat and DDTs her into the mat!!
(The audience winces at the impact, and Horror Girl turns her over into a pinning position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl goes for a belly to back suplex but Vagabond reverses it over into a headlock takedown! Horror Girl steps right into a savatte kick by Vagabond!
(The crowd applauds, and Vagabond climbs up to the top rope. She comes off with a frog splash but Horror Girl puts her knees up again!! Horror Girl grabs her by the hair and yanks her to the mat. She quickly drops a sharp elbow to her throat. She atomic drops Vagabond on the top turnbuckle and then pulls her upside down in a tree of woe)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl stands back to belly against her in the corner. Standing on Vagabond's arms, she slips Vagabond's legs through the rope and begins pulling in The Coffin of Woe! She turns around and slugs Vagabond in her exposed stomach.
(Horror Girl wraps the mummy wrappings around Vagabond's throat. She tosses Vagabond over the ropes and hangs her with the bandages! Vagabond kicks the backs of her heels into the apron, as her face turns red)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond finds the apron with her feet and then gets a good footing. She has a big forearm smash for Horror Girl! She pulls on the top rope and slingshots herself on the middle of the top rope and comes off with a springboard spinning kick!!
(Vagabond pulls Horror Girl up on her shoulder and then drives the back of her neck with a samurai driver!! She cradles her legs)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl raises her arm)
Phil Blauer: Horror Girl showing signs of fatigue after showing up at The Exorcism of Emily Rose premiere down the street at Mann's Chinese Theatre.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond climbs to the second rope and hits a split-legged moonsault!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond goes for a thez press but Horror Girl catches her legs and drops her throat on the top rope! Horror Girl sits her on the top turnbuckle then climbs on to the second rope. Horror Girl monkey flips her from off the top rope!!
(The Los Angeles audience jeers and boos. Horror Girl irish whips Vagabond but she reverses it and sends Horror Girl into the corner. Horror Girl puts the breaks on before she hits the turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond follows her in but Horror Girl drop toe holds her face into the turnbuckle. Horror Girl grabs onto her Vagabond's legs and hits her with an ocean cyclone suplex! She's hanging on to her legs and applies a double ankle lock and pull it back into a boston crab! Series of Unholy Events!
(Horror Girl pulls back on Vagabond's legs and bridges back, putting painful pressure on his back. Mike Peters checks in to see if Vagabond wants to submit but she shakes her head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl lifts Vagabond up in a hanging suplex and drops forward into a uranage!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Vagabond kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl holds Vagabond in a set-up for a hangman's neckbreaker, then runs up the turnbuckles into a spinning neckbreaker!! She pulls Vagabond up in a headlock, and tries to bite her, but Vagabond belly to back suplexes her! Vagabond irish whips Horror Girl into the ropes and hits her with the heel of her boot in Horror Girl's nose!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
(Vagabond climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips off into a corkscrew 450 splash!! The crowd erupts in applause)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Horror Girl gets her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond implant DDTs Horror Girl into the canvas! She leaps onto the middle of the top rope and springboard moonsault splashes her!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Horror Girl kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is back up on the top turnbuckle, she front flips into her gorgeous swanton dive but Horror Girl moves out of the way!! She inverted facelocks Vagabond and lifts her up into an Oh, The Horror flapjacked ace crusher!! She rolls her over to pin her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
("Haunted" by Evanescence plays and the LA Staples Center boos Horror Girl. She snarls and growls at the jeering fans. Mr. Fame limps into the ring with the help of Bernice Biggs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl defeats Vagabond in a show stealer!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 44 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...HORROR GIRL!!!"
(Horror Girl raises her arm, and spits out some blood on Vagabond. Mr. Fame leads her back to the locker room)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner has a wide open field of contenders, and one of them has just moved to the top of the list tonight. Both these ladies will have another chance at one another in the big $100,000 battle royal for Hardkore World Women's division at Hardkore Helloween in Cleveland, Ohio.
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Sep 10, 2005#14
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Phoenix, five women battled each other to become the number one contender to the Hardkore World Women's Champion at Hardkore Helloween.
Phil Blauer: And went a little something like this. Hit it!
(Video plays with the caption: Phoenix, 8/19/05)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Alley scoops up Tammy, but Tammy slips behind Alley and lands in an inverted facelock. She drops her in an scorpion deathdrop! She hooks the leg!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Tammy's lying on her stomach, Alley hooks Sanchez's arm under her leg, crosses her ankles, and pulls back on her legs in a tequila sunrise! She pulls back on her arm and leg trying to get a submission out of her before the time limit expires.
(Sanchez cries out in pain, as Alley tries to bend her arm & leg in half. Ron Reid checks in to see if Tammy wants to tap out, Sanchez is not answering)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has had some arm issues the entire match and her leg was broken in March. This could be it!
(The bell rings and the audience cheers. Alley releases the tequila sunrise and raises her arms in victory. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the loudspeaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She got in just under the wire, but Alley is going to Los Angeles to wrestle the winner of tonight's match between Ashley & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, the time limit has expired. Referee Ron Reid has ruled this match...A DRAW!!"
(The America West Arena rocks with boos and Alley kicks the bottom rope in frustration. Tamara Sanchez spins Ron Reid around and starts arguing with him. Fades out to present day Guillermo O'Bannon and Phil Blauer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: So Hardkore Jonnie Valentine booked tonight's match between Alley & Tammy where the winner will go on to wrestle either "Sexy" Anjanette Turner or Ashley in Cleveland at Hardkore Helloween. Ever since, Alley and Tamara Sanchez have had some nasty words for one another.
Phil Blauer: Mostly about Tammy's laundry. It's where wrestling insults have never gone before.
(The lights get dim in The Staples Center as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays over the loud speakers. Alley walks out to the roar of the LA fans. She smiles at them and walks down the aisle, slapping their hands)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley making quite an impact here on the West Coast since her debut in the threeway dance between Ashley & Vagabond. She went the distance with four of the best women wrestlers in Hardkore America & Hardkore Britain.
Phil Blauer: Alley's tiger almost made quite an impact backstage.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'm wiping up the last of it right now, sir.
Yolanda Ando: Alley wears black pants with a gray pullover. Her black hair is shoulder length and she has a single white braid on the right side. She wears black lipstick.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. The referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Lacey Springs, Virginia; standing 5 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 105 pounds...ALLEY!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans cheer. Then the lights in The Staples Center start to flicker. The pyros explode and “Alive” by Saliva hits. A red spotlight points on the entrance showing an unmoving Tamara Sanchez. She lifts her head presenting the two crosses painted under her eyes. Slowly she walks down the ramp ignoring the booing fans)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has changed her look and her attitude since a knee injury by Brandi in Seattle back in April. Now she looks to win back the title she lost to Xyrynth at Palm Springs Punishment in March. And Alley would be the perfect person to go through.
Yolanda Ando: Sanchez wearing some ripped jeans, a black shirt saying “fuck me” on the front and “fuck you” on the back. Her hair is in black dreadlocks.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, from New York City...
(The LA crowd yells out "NEW YORK CITY???")
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
(The Staples Center boos her. Alley walks over and slaps Sanchez across the face for all the stuff she's been talking. Sanchez ducks a punch and atomic drops her into the turnbuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara charges in to the corner, but Alley has a boot to the face waiting for her. Alley front facelocks Sanchez, then flips over into a Shiranoi neckbreaker!
(Alley pulls Sanchez's "Fuck You"/"Fuck Me" t-shirt up and then rakes her nails down her back as hard as she can. Tammy's back arches in pain. Alley runs into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley comes off the ropes with a flying body press but Sanchez catches her and drops her across her knee with a backbreaker! Sanchez irish whips Alley into the ropes and catches her on the way back with a sidewalk slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez runs into the ropes, hops over Alley and then jumps onto the middle of the second rope. She backflips into a lionsault but Alley puts up her knees for Tammy to land on!!
(The crowd comes alive as Sanchez clutches her stomach and coughs. Alley double underhooks both of Tamara's arms then lifts her up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley drops Sanchez's shoulder onto her knee with a Colt 45!! She then rolls her leg & arm up into the tequila sunrise! Sanchez knows this move well. It was how she spent the final moments of her match in Phoenix.
Phil Blauer: Plus she's been drenched in tequila by the boys a few times at the after parties we have after the show. If you want to read more, check out "Phil's Road Stories". Now at available at www.books-on-tape.com
(Alley rocks back & forth with Sanchez's arm & leg. Mike Peters checks in to see if she taps out. Alley finally releases the tequila sunrise and climbs to the top turnbuckle, waiting for Tammy to get to her feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley comes off the top with a beautiful skytwister press!!
(The crowd rocks with cheers. Alley irish whips Tamara Sanchez into the ropes, and goes for a huracanrana but Tammy catches her legs and powerbombs her!! The Staples Center boos, while Sanchez points to her brain)
Phil Blauer: The veteran catches Alley looking. And that makes her VERY smart.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez lifts Alley onto her shoulders in a fireman's carry. She then gets a running start and somersault slams her! She climbs up to the top turnbuckle and then comes down with a swan dive headbutt to Alley's forehead & face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley lifts her shoulder up)
Phil Blauer: When she comes off the top like that she's all dreadlocks. It's like if Edge hadn't bathed in a while. Wait, that's what Snitsky looks like.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez front facelocks her and cradles her leg. She cradle DDTs Alley!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs to the top from inside the ring, but before she can moonsault Alley, Alley sweeps out her legs! Sanchez crotches herself on the steel cable hook. She pulls Tammy back by the dreadlocks into a tree of woe. Alley backs up, gets a running start and dropkicks her in the stomach!
(The crowd cheers, and Sanchez falls off the top, clutching her stomach. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a corkscrew legdrop!! The fans go wild)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley hits an Infrared legdrop!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley grapevines Tamara Sanchez's leg and then turns her over into an STF!! Alley clings onto Sanchez's throat like it's the last trunk off of the Titanic.
(Alley pulls back on Sanchez's head, pulling it towards her toes. Mike Peters asks Tammy if she submits, but Tammy spits back in his face, cursing in German. Alley releases the STF and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley backflips into a Christo super rana!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and dips her head down for a backdrop. But Tammy waits for Alley to stand back up then hits an RKO!
(The Staples Center boos. Sanchez steps out through the ropes onto the apron. She pulls on the top rope and slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez springboard bulldogs Alley's face into the mat!! She rolls her over into a pinning position!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez irish whips Alley into the ropes and then floors her with a flying tackle! She runs back into the ropes and takes Alley over into a flying head scissors that sends her across the ring!
(The audience boos. Tamara climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a five star frog splash but Alley runs up to the second turnbuckle and cracks her in the face! Alley wraps her legs around the top rope and waistlocks her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley spider belly to belly superplexes Tamara Sanchez!! The audience goes wild! Alley is hanging upside down from the top rope and then sits back up on to the top turnbuckle. She then flips off into a somersault senton but Sanchez catches her by the legs and powerbombs her!!
(The Staples Center boos. Tamara Sanchez scoops Alley up and fallaway slams her over the top rope onto the floor! Alley hits the apron on the way down and hurts her elbow. Tamara Sanchez climbs out to the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy gets a running start along the apron and backflips into her 7 Year Inch but there's no water in the pool!! Tammy's chest hit the concrete hard! Alley pulls Tammy up by the dreadlocks and then tosses the back of her head into the steel railing!
(The audience cheers. Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a Yang Time splash on the floor!! The Los Angeles fans chant "AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!! AL-LEY!!")
Phil Blauer: Wow!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley leaving it all out there!
Phil Blauer: Where?!?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley grabs a cup of $7.50 beer out of a fan's hand. She throws it into Tammy's eyes!
(Tamara tries to wipe the beer out of her face and dreadlocks, but Alley brains her in the head with a steel chair!! She begins searching underneath the ring, and pulls out a German flag)
Phil Blauer: Hey, did the Schmutzhausens leave that under there?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley takes a full swing and cracks the German flagpole across Tamara Sanchez's back! Now she begins clearing our table...
Phil Blauer: Hey, that's mi-... Gullermo's Hard Rasberry Iced Tea!
Guillermo O'Bannon: I've been in this business long enough to grab my drink when wrestlers come a' callin. Alley pulls Tammy up by the dreadlocks, but Tammy scratches her eyes! She kicks Alley in the stomach and then DDTs her on our table!!
(The table breaks where Alley's head lands. The crowd pops at the sound it makes. They're simple like that. Sanchez rolls Alley into the ring, and then slides a table into the ring. She sets it up in the center of the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy has another table, and irish whips Alley into the ropes. She tiltawhirls Alley onto her shoulder into a powerslam through the press table!!
(The audience boos Tammy as she collapses on top of Alley in the broken table rubble)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy pulls Alley up to her feet, but Alley pokes her in the eye with her long fingernail! Alley lifts Tammy up onto her shoulders in a human torture rack.
(Alley bends Tammy's spine across her shoulders while Peters clears the table rubble out of the ring. Alley then swings Sanchez around into a Hercules cutter neckbreaker! The Staples Center cheers)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for her to stand up. When she does Alley nearly takes her head off with a Dai Chan Bomber lariot!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley runs into the ropes and hops onto the middle of the second rope. She backflips into an asai moonsault but Tammy catches her and powerslams her! Tammy climbs to the top turnbuckle and front flips into a tight 450 splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
(The Los Angeles fans give both ladies a standing ovation for such a good match. Tammy stands up and gives them two middle fingers, getting them to boo her again. Sanchez gut wrenches Alley up onto her shoulder and then she tigerbombs her on to the back of her head)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara jumps onto the second turnbuckle, hops onto the top rope with her legs split and uses the momentum to backflip into a moonsault splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley gets her foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez sits Alley on the top turnbuckle. She climbs to the second rope and lifts her up on her shoulders in a fireman's carry. Before she can complete the death valley driver Alley spins around into a super bulldog!!
(Sanchez bounces off her face onto her side. The crowd erupts in applause. Alley wraps Tammy's head up with her own arm and bridges into an anaconda vice! Mike Peters checks in to see if she submits but Sanchez refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy tries to roll out of the anaconda vice, but Alley has her feet planted strongly. Alley squeezes Sanchez's head against her own armpit. She then releases the submission and runs into the ropes and jumps onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a quebrada!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley hooks her into a cradle suplex then spins it into a three-handed moss-covered family gredunza!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She grabs Sanchez and flips her over into a jujigatame cross armbar! Sanchez struggles to her feet with Alley still attached to her arm, but Alley flips her back down onto her back in the jujigatame!
(The audience applauds. Sanchez curses, and then gets back to her feet with Alley hanging off her again. This time Sanchez stomps Alley in the face. She lifts Alley up into a front facelock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez drops Alley with a twist of fate!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying spear but Alley catches her and DDTs her!! The crowd is on their feet! Alley lifts Sanchez up on her shoulder and drills her dreadlocked head into the mat with a death valley driver!!
(Alley climbs to the top turnbuckle but Tamara Sanchez rolls out of the way of a skytwister press!! Sanchez puts her leg over the back of Alley's neck)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy hits the rocker dropper! She climbs up to the top rope and this time hits her with the five star frog splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy belly to belly suplexes Alley up so high that she lands on her feet behind Sanchez. She irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and drives her head into the mat with a huracanrana!! She cradles the leg!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley tumbles into a liger kick to Tammy's face! She hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a reverse DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley gets underneath Sanchez and lifts her into a human torture rack but Tammy lands behind her and whacks her upside the head with a superkick!
(The fans boo and Tamara goes outside and snatches a chair from a young kid in the front row. She slides into the ring and swings at Alley with it, but it just misses Alley's head when she ducks)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy misses with that chair! Alley kicks Sanchez in the gut, that makes her drop the chair. Alley then takes a swing at her but Tammy ducks the punch. Sanchez goes behind her and belly to back suplexes Alley's head onto that steel chair!! She pins her!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley kicks out)
Phil Blauer: That was close!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a 7 Year Inch!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Alley gets her foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez runs into the ropes and flips over Alley into a sunset flip, but Alley sits down on Tammy's shoulders!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)
(Tammy dips into the pocket of her jeans and Alley cartwheels into her spinning huracanrana!! She cradles the leg and Mike Peters slides into position)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center cheers as “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” by Monster Magnet plays on the PA. Tammy reveals she has some brass knuckles)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley goes on to Cleveland, Ohio!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 52 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...ALLEY!!!"
(Tamara Sanchez slugs Alley in the back of the head with the brass knuckles. “Negasonic Teenage Warhead” stops dead, and the silence fills with boos. Sanchez slides underneath the ropes to the floor)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy looking underneath the ring and finds...a sledgehammer! She slides into the ring and winds back, she smashes Alley's arm!!
(Alley shrieks in pain, and Tamara uses the handle to jam it into her shoulder with all her might! The fans rain garbage into the ring, and Tammy steps on the back of Alley's wrist)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy winds back with that sledgehammer...
Phil Blauer: She's gonna break her arm!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vagabond is in the ring and snatches the hammer out of Tammy's hands! She superkicks Sanchez in the face!
(The crowd leaps to their feet, and Tammy scurries out of the ring. A smile of self-satisfaction on her face. Pain is etched across the face of Alley as she clings to her broken arm. She looks up to see Vagabond standing over her with the sledgehammer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley scoots away from Vagabond with the hammer in her hand!
(Vagabond sees the hammer in her hand and drops it. She reassures Alley that it wasn't her, while EMTs rush to stabilize her arm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Alley is slated to fight the winner of tonight's Leather Strap Match between Ashley and "Sexy" Anjanette Turner at Hardkore Helloween on PPV.
Phil Blauer: (gets nudged by Guillermo) Huh...? Oh. But what shape will she be in?
(The Shootfighter is doing some calisthentics in his locker room as he warms up for his match with Tatsuyi Arakawa. He is dressed in his black knee length
wrestling tights and black wrestling boots his chest length dark hair is tied in a pony tail.)
The Shootfighter: "Tatsuyi Arakawa the so-called 'Saikyo Terrorist.' Tonight one of us is going to start rebounding after our respective defeats. I have the intention of making sure your losing streak extends and mine continues."
(He does a split legged drop and continues to
stretch.)
The Shootfighter: "Tonight is just a warm up for our other match and you know where that is and believe me it's going to be even more bloodier than this one is
going to be. I hope you are in the best shape of your career because I am going to be in even better shape than you are. I don't want no excuses if you lose."
(He springs up after finishing.)
The Shootfighter: "Arakawa you show no respect for me. Yet what happens if you get defeated by me? Are you going to acknowledge it or are you going to make excuses for the loss. I know you won't do something so stupid as not to honor the person who defeats you and that person shall be me."
(The Shootfighter puts on his black robe with the red dragon on the back. A look of hate, rage and fury begins to form on his face.)
The Shootfighter: "Arakawa you shall be the one that shall feel the terror when I make you feel pain that you've never before! You won't like the beating that I shall dish out on you! I shall make sure you don't! You shall feel more agony than Evans dealt you in your last match!"
(The Shootfighter picks up his stainless steel singapore cane and twirls it in his fingers a bit.)
The Shootfighter: "You see I'm going to take my hate, rage and fury out on someone for the loss of my West Coast Title! Unfortunately it had to be you and I shall make sure when it explodes you shall feel it and feel it like no one else has felt it before! It shall be the same when we meet again but I shall make sure you are more brutally hurt than this match!"
(The Shootfighter grows even more angrier.)
The Shootfighter: "Prepare Arakawa for the match of your life! Prepare to be sent to the hospital! Prepare for Mortal Kombat!"
(The scene slowly fades to Guillermo & Phil at ringside)
Phil Blauer: So did I tell you about the way I re-did my place?
Guillermo O’Bannon: Did you wind up going with that cowboy studio apartment thing you were talking about?
Phil Blauer: No, the opposite. I did my place Injun!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Native American?
Phil Blauer: No, I’m from Ventura originally. I knocked down all four walls and set up a teepee.
Guillermo O’Bannon: What did your landlord say?
Phil Blauer: Hard to tell after the stroke. It all came out “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm”. It’s great Guillermo. I sleep under the stars. I am close with nature.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Isn’t it hot?
Phil Blauer: Sure, but it isn’t anything a little stark raving nudity doesn’t cure. My Indian name is Phil Tanned Plums. How.
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter recently lost his Hardkore West Coast title to Zack Daniels in a thrilling match that ended with some interference from the Hardkore World Women’s Champion “Sexy” Anjanette Turner. Now he must put that out of his mind and focus on a wrestler that was brought in especially for him and his style, Tatsuya Arakawa. Arakawa was unsuccessful in his initial Hardkore America match with Kilroy Evans. But he hopes tonight will be difference as he wrestles a man with a closer style to his.
(“Mortal Kombat” by The Immortals plays and the audience cheers. The Shootfighter walks down to the ring with Blak Lung & Judge Death. Judge Death is dressed as an old colonial judge, complete with gavel)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shootfighter comes in with that no nonsense look.
Phil Blauer: It’s his ShootSmile.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter helped his protege Psychotic Goth defeat "Giant" Baba O'Reilly for the Hardkore Britain Northern Tri-Counties title in Manchester, England. He's hoping he can be just as successful as his student tonight in this best of three falls match.
Yolanda Ando: wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back and wields a stainless steel singapore cane.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Best of Three Falls Match, with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Blak Lung and his manager, Judge Death. From Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!"
(The audience cheers The Shootfighter who crosses his arms and waits for Tatsuya Arakawa. "TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the fans boo. Tom Lux leads Arakawa down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa looking to silence The Shootfighter after months of promos for Hardkore America and Nippon, constantly berating him.
Phil Blauer: It's one of the things opponents of The Shootfighter learn to deal with. It's like feuding with Jimmy Hart on crystal meth. Wait, that's redundant.
Guillermo O'Bannon: I wonder what Rated X's return earlier tonight means for Tatsuya Arakawa? You know X has a list and both Williams and his new protege are probably on it.
Phil Blauer: I have a list. Actually, it's more like I'm on some lists. Sex offender lists, do not fly lists, don't accept checks from this individual lists.
Yolanda Ando: Arakawa is wearing blood red biker MMA style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in black. High below-the-knee black boots, black TRACE kneepads & red wrist tape.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Tom Lux; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
(The Staples Center fans give Arakawa a mixed reaction, mostly boos. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Arakawa tags The Shootfighter with a thigh kick. The Shootfighter answers with a muay thai kick to his knee)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter sweeps Arakawa with a muay thai kick to his ankle. Arakawa gets up and whacks Shootfighter with a shotei palm strike to his face and a uraken spinning backfist! Shootfighter returns with some dragon claw strikes to Tatsuya's chest.
(The Shootfighter starts hitting Arakawa in the kidneys and chest with muay thai kicks. Arakawa catches his leg, and begins whacking Shootfighter's chest red with chops as he hops on one foot)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hangs on to Shootfighter's leg and spins into a rolling solebutt kick! Tatsuya applies a guillotine choke with a body scissors to The Shootfighter's midsection. Arakawa looking to make him tap early to send a message for the rest of this match, and their matches here and on the other side of the Pacific.
(Judge Death and Blak Lung pound on the mat, yelling out encouragement to The Shootfighter. Ron Reid checks in to see if he wants to tap out but The Shootfighter refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls on to his stomach and slips out of the guillotine choke, he goes right into an ankle lock from behind Arakawa! The audience gives him some applause for that counter.
(The Shootfighter wrenches Arakawa's ankle to the side. He then wraps his legs around Tatsuya's thigh and drops down into an on-the-mat style ankle lock. Ron Reid slides on to his chest to get face to face with The Saiyko Terrorist. Arakawa refuses to tap out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter releases heel hold and pulls Arakawa to his feet in a waistlock. He drops Arakawa in a german suplex! He pulls him up into a second! The third obligatory trifecta german suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter pounding Arakawa's back with some stiff forearm shots, and another one tattoos the back of his neck. Arakawa blocks one with his forearm and begins peppering Shootfighter with a wild flurry of punches! He irish whips Shootfighter into the ropes and then hits him with a flying kneelift!
(Shootfighter drops to the mat and Tatsuya steps over him and pulls his arm over in a kneeling wakigatame. He grips Shootfighter's arm with both hands & pulls back on it with all of his might. Ron Reid in perfect position)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gives a final tug on Shootfighter's arm, then uses it to pull him to his feet. He snapmares The Malaysian Giant over and tags him with two stiff kicks to his spine. Shootfighter struggles to his feet but Arakawa's waiting for him with an axe kick to the back of his head.
(Arakawa waistlocks Shootfighter but he back elbows Tatsuya in the face. Shootfighter then gives him a flurry of dragon claw strikes to his stomach. Then he straightens him up with some muay thai kicks to Arakawa's lower back. The Shootfighter lifts Arakawa on his shoulders with a human torture rack)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter spins Arakawa around and round, then drops him in a Thailand Slam! He applies a sharpshooter on Tatsuya Arakawa! He pulls those legs up high to apply as much pressure to the back he's been working down as possible.
(The audience applauds as Shootfighter rocks back with Arakawa's twisted legs. Ron Reid checks in as Tom Lux screams out instructions in Japanese to Arakawa. Tatsuya balls up his fists in pain)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa gets to the ropes and Ron Reid forces him to break The ShootCrab. Arakawa pulls himself up and goes for a thigh kick that Shootfighter catches. Tatsuya swings around with a inzuigiri to the back of his head!
(Arakawa limps away from Shootfighter, and Shootfighter takes the advantage with hitting him in the groin from behind. He gives him a second for good measure)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and he comes back with a running STO bomb!! Arakawa capitalizes with a crossarm scissors on that arm he worked down earlier with a kneeling wakigatame.
Phil Blauer: It's also the same arm that's been a nagging injury for Shootfighter since his first match with Big Bad Bill in Denver back in December.
(Shootfighter clutches his arm, shreiking in pain as Arakawa clamps down on them with his powerful legs. The Shootfighter tries to get up but Arakawa is still attached to his arm, squeezing)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls Arakawa back on to his shoulders.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tatsuya Arakawa releases the jujigatame)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets to his feet and catches a reverse knife edge chop to his throat. Shootfighter hits him with another and then applies a clawhold to both of his carotid arteries. The intense pain sends Tatsuya to his knees.
(Arakawa cringes and clutches at Shootfighter's wrists. The Shootfighter then nails Arakawa in the nose several times with hard muay thai strike to his already broken & misshappen nose)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter irish whips Arakawa but Tatsuya reverses it and sends him into the turnbuckles. Arakawa rushes in with a kawada kick to his face!
(Shootfighter falls on his ass, laying against the turnbuckles. Tatsuya Arakawa backs into the corner again and running dropkicks him in the face! Shootfighter's head rocks back against the bottom turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa grabs The Shootfighter's hair, then proceeds to throw some high Muay Thai style kneelifts to his stomach, and ends the Tiger Knees combo with a kneelift to jaw! The Shootfighter staggers back and Tatsuya Arakawa KOs him with a leaping gamengiri kick!! He covers him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 34 seconds, TATSUYA ARAKAWA HAS SCORED THE FIRST FALL."
(The audience boos. Blak Lung rolls the singapore cane in towards The Shootfighter and he grabs hold of it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter staggers up and cracks Arakawa in the head with a stainless steel singapore cane! A second shot sends Arakawa down with a head wound. Arakawa ducks under a third swing of the stainless steel cane from The Shootfighter and then drops him on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!!
(The crowd boos as Shootfighter gets folded up like an accordian. Arakawa leans him against the corner, with his head against the bottom turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter avoids a incoming knee from a bloody Arakawa! He drags Tatsuya into the center of the ring, facedown. He applies a reverse indian deathlock! Arakawa pushes himself up off the mat, his face a crimson mask.
(Blood drips down Arakawa's face into a pool on the mat as The Shootfighter clamps down on his twisted legs. Ron Reid asks Arakawa if he wants to submit, but he refuses)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He releases The Shootfighter Leglock and pulls Arakawa up. He tosses him over the top rope onto the apron. Shootfighter steps out and applies a half nelson. He t-bone suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa off the apron to The Staples Center floor!!
(The LA audience pops loud! Judge Death helps Shootfighter back onto the apron, and Blak Lung pulls Arakawa up there as well. Shootfighter pulls himself up by the ropes and waistlocks him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa knees Shootfighter low to get out of the waistlock. He front facelocks Shootfighter and DDTs him off the apron onto the cement!!
(The crowd gets louder, chanting "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Tatsuya Arakawa reverse waistlocks him, then german suplexes the back of Shootfighter's head onto the guardrail)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter bleeding down his back from that german suplex onto the security railing. Blak Lung comes up behind Arakawa and begins choking him with the stainless steel cane!
(The crowd cheers as Arakawa tries to gets his fingers underneath the cane. Tom Lux goes to help him out, but Judge Death grabs him from behind with a full nelson. While Lung holds him with the cane, The Shootfighter goes to work on his ribs and stomach with dragon claw strikes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter snap suplexes over the top rope back into the ring. He gets on Arakawa's back with a cobra clutch and then put his legs around his waist! The ShootClutch!! Arakawa searching for the bottom rope with his one free arm.
(The Shootfighter rolls on to his back while applying pressure to the back of Arakawa's neck. Tatsuya bleeds down onto Shootfighter's shoulder. Arakawa finally grabs hold of the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ron Reid makes The Shootfighter release The ShootClutch. Shootfighter whips Arakawa into the ropes, but Arakawa dives through them and into the second ring!
(The crowd applauds. The Shootfighter attempts to cross into Arakawa's ring but Arakawa runs and smashes him with an enzuigiri! Arakawa follows it with a high kick to head, slap with the left hand, slap with the right, then a spinning chop)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa kicks The Shootfighter in the ribs, then he bounces off the ropes with a spinning heel kick! He irish whips Arakawa into the ropes and hooks him with an Aki lariot!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa shoots Shootfighter into the ropes again and floors him with a yakuza kick! He irish whips Shootfighter into the corner. He follows him in with a kawada kick, but Shootfighter moves and crotches him on the top rope!
(The Shootfighter climbs up to the second rope and front waistlocks him. He belly to belly superplexes him)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He scoops Arakawa up and drops him into a backbreaker. He pulls him up and drops him into a second backbreaker, then turns him over into a full powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter waits for Arakawa to get up. Then he rushes him and russian sickles him with that studded elbow pad! He pulls Arakawa's head into his legs, and double chicken wings his arms. Then pulls him up and drops his hammerlocked arms across his knee into The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 15 minutes 13 seconds; THE SHOOTFIGHTER HAS WON THE SECOND FALL!"
Phil Blauer: Like an S&M convention, we're all tied up!
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a claw to his face & heart. Known as...?
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter Claw?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Correctamundo. Arakawa grabs him by his wrists and tosses him over in a judo toss! Arakawa runs into the ropes and whacks The Shootfighter in the chest with a TAK soccer style kick!
(The Shootfighter ducks under a uraken punch and answers with a heart punch! He goes for a suplex but Arakawa blocks it with his calf)
Guillermo O'Bannon: A bloody Tatsuya Arakawa reverses with a vertical drop brainbuster!! He makes the cover!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa lifts him up and MASSIVE bombs The Shootfighter over the ropes into the second ring for our Wargames match later on tonight!
(The crowd applauds. After some agonizing moments, The Shootfighter pulls himself up by the ropes and steps back into the right ring. Arakawa scoops him up but Shootfighter slips behind him and applies a tri corner choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter hoping to make Tatsuya Arakawa tap out for a moral victory as well as the official.
Phil Blauer: I wonder who has the victory for the most moral victories?
Guillermo O'Bannon: I have to think Tito's up there. Shootfighter clamps down on Arakawa's throat while squeezing out the air in his lungs with his legs. He rolls back and tries to really choke him out.
(Arakawa's face turns red but luckily he gets near a rope and grabs on to it. Ron Reid forces him to break the tri-corner choke. The Shootfighter drags him into the center of the ring by the foot, away from the ropes. He then spins his leg around into a figure four leglock)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a figure four leglock of which you can probably guessing the name of. Arakawa sits up with his face covered in blood, and Shootfighter clamps down on his twisted legs. Arakawa reaches out for the ropes, but Shootfighter has dragged him nowhere near.
(Arakawa tries to turn the leglock over, but the crafty veteran slips out of it before Tatsuya can turn it to his advantage. He then applies an crippler crossface STF. Arakawa growls in pain, as Shootfighter pulls up on his arm and head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies The Shootfighter Crossface. Ron Reid asks Arakawa if he wants to give up the final fall to live another day. Shootfighter's arm is becomingly sickeningly red with The Saiyko Terrorist's blood.
(Shootfighter finally releases the The Shootfighter Crossface and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tatsuya Arakawa staggers to his feet and running kneelifts Shootfighter, knocking him onto the bridged ropes of the two rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter is knocked off the top turnbuckles onto those twin ropes, and is now bridging the two rings. Tatsuya Arakawa climbs to the top and comes down on Shootfighter's stomach with a ribbreaker stomp!!
(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls The Shootfighter back into the right ring, and then applies a rear naked choke with his body scissors! Shootfighter turns beet red and waves wildly, grabbing for the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa choking out The Shootfighter with that rear naked choke! Shootfighter is blacking out!
(Ron Reid lifts Shootfighter's arm and it drops. He signals for the bell! The audience applauds a good match by Tatsuya Arakawa as "TRIBE!" by Mad Capsule Markets plays over The Staples Center PA system)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 18 minutes 44 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter and Tatsuya Arakawa have a great stiff match up that one rarely sees on this side of the Pacific. The rematch is in Thailand but now they now both go on to that barbed wire hell that awaits them in Cleveland, Ohio at Hardkore Helloween 2005!
(Tom Lux leads Tatsuya Arakawa back to the locker room with his arms raised high. Judge Death and Blak Lung help a coughing & gagging Shootfighter back to his feet inside the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's the matter, Phil? You seem tired.
Phil Blauer: Carrying around these big balls all night is wearing me out.
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Phoenix, four time Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner defended her newly won championship against former EWW Women's Champion Ashley.
(Video fades out to Phoenix, Arizona; America West Arena 8/20/05)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley monkey flips a dizzy but “Sexy” Anjanette Turner across the ring! Ashley scoops her up into a bodyslam but Turner falls behind her on her feet, with an inverted facelock. She twists Ashley’s neck into a test drive!!
---
(The crowd boos, and Domino comes over to have a word with the woman standing in Ashley’s corner. The woman grabs a steel chair and Domino backs off. Ashley’s friend tosses the chair into the ring. Ashley sets up the chair near the ropes, while Domino tries to help Anj to her feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair over the ropes into a plancha on “Sexy” Anjanette Turner & Domino!!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Sexy Anj comes off the top with a spinning huracanrana off the top rope to the floor!!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley wrenches her head from side to side, rocking back into a camel clutch! Ashley releases it and climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino shakes the ropes and Ashley crotches herself on the turnbuckle steel cable hook. Anjanette climbs to the second turnbuckle with her back to Ashley. She lifts her up into an inverted crucifix, then pitches her off the second rope into an inverted splash mountain bomb!! Ashley bounces off her face!
---
Guillermo O’Bannon: Anjanette tries to jump off with The Turner Tornado but Ashley has it scouted and grabs on to the top rope. She drives her shoulder into Turner's stomach, and then spinebusters her back into the turnbuckle! Ashley then flips her into her acid drop finisher!!
---
(Ashley presses Anjanette Turner over her head, and Turner begs to be put down. Domino tries to enter the ring, causing Ashley to drop Turner, and turn her attention to her manager. Rachael grabs Domino by the back of her skirt into the railing!! Ashley then grabs Turner in a three quarter nelson. Zack Daniels runs down to the ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Ashley going for another acid drop but Anjanette Turner pushes her off into Zack Daniels who steps up on Ashley's thigh, then swings around into a shining wizard knee to the side of her head!!
(The crowd boos as Ashley drops to the mat. Anjanette inverted facelocks her and climbs to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O’Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into a Turner Tornado DDT!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
(Fades out to Guillermo O'Bannon & Phil Blauer at ringside. “So Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays and the Los Angeles fans cheer. Ashley raises the leather strap over her head. She whips the strap round & round, as Rachael follows behind her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley invented this style of leather strap match where you must first drag your opponent to all four corners, and only then are you available to pin your opponent.
Phil Blauer: Jesus, this sounds like it's gonna take forever! How about this, the first one to hit the other with the strap is the new champ?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No.
Phil Blauer: How about the first one that can make the leather strap work with their outfit?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley hoping that with Anjanette ending her relationship with Zack Daniels, this match can be the one on one encounter she originally had in mind.
Yolanda Ando: Ashley wears red stretch pants with a red loose fitting blouse over a black tank top. She has short curled hair with reddish highlights.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a Leather Strap Match, in which you must tag all four corners before you are eligible to pin or make your opponent submit. No pinfall or submission will count until you have tagged all four corners. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Rachael; From Tampa, Florida; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 140 pounds...ASHLEY!!!"
(The Los Angeles crowd cheers Ashley and she swings the strap around, waiting for Anjanette. Then "GirlFight" by Brooke Valentine plays and The Staples Center's cheers turn to jeers. Domino leads "Sexy" Anjanette Turner down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable's female star Anjanette Turner joined up with Domino to give her career some direction she previously didn't have. This has soured the fans on her, but paid dividends in her win-loss record.
Phil Blauer: Fuck them, our fans are assholes. You should see the things they chant about me.
Guillermo O'Bannon: (leading the fans in a chant) "Phil's A Homo *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Huh? Sorry, Phil what were you saying?
Phil Blauer: I don't remember. I think it was about my hair.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner was able to escape the Desert with her title, but this time she'll be tied to two time former EWW Women's Champion Ashley...Sit down, Phil.
Phil Blauer: One never knows if they're gonna need an alternate.
Yolanda Ando: "Sexy" Anj Turner is a light skin African American female with shoulder length dark brown hair in a ponytail. She's wearing a red two peice bathing suit with red boots and the Hardkore World Women's title belt strapped around her waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by her manager, Domino; From Las Vegas; Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
(The Staples Center boos Anjanette Turner, who ignores them, instead handing her title belt over to Domino. Ron Reid latches the leather strap around Anjanette's wrist. Anjanette stops Reid to ask him about the rules when suddenly she sucker punches Ashley! The audience boos and Reid signals for the bell)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette whips Ashley across the back! She smacks Ashley in the back of the head with an inzuigiri!
(Turner waistlocks her and then drops back into a backdrop driver but Ashley flips out of it onto her feet behind Anjanette. She catches Turner flush in the face a few times with her forearm)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner blocks one of Ashley's forearms and counters with one of her own. She lashes Ashley along her side a few times with that leather strap! She lifts her up in a suplex then drops her down on her head with a falcon arrow!!
(Anjanette half nelsons Ashley and then drops her on her head again with a t-bone suplex!! The Los Angeles fans boo as Anjanette sits up and soaks them in. Domino applauds on the outside. Turner tells Domino to watch this)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette runs and handsprings into a backflip but Ashley puts his knees up into Turner's stomach! Ashley scoops Turner up and bodyslams her hard to the mat. She sits on the champion's back and wraps the leather strap around her throat. She's choking the life out of her with that strap!
(Ron Reid pleads with her to stop choking Turner, while Sexy Anj tries to put her fingers underneath the strap. Ashley plants her feet and really pulls back on the belt)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner rolls out of the way of an elbow drop by Ashley. She inverted facelocks Ashley and then twists her around into a test drive!!
(Turner scoops Ashley up and drops down into a corkscrew tombstone piledriver! She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's wrists a few times. She starts dragging her over to the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette goes over to the first corner and tags the first turnbuckle! She drags her to the second corner, but Ashley sticks her feet in the mat and puts the breaks on. She stops Anjanette and gets to her feet...
Phil Blauer: Wow, she is strong. But made for a woman.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner pulls Ashley in by the leather strap and then kicks her in the stomach. She double underhooks Ashley's arms, and lifts her up. She runs into the center of the ring and then drops her facefirst with a michinoku driver I!!
(Anjanette Turner climbs up to the second turnbuckle and then backflips into a moonsault but Ashley moves out of the way!! She wraps the belt around her fist a few times and punches Anjanette in the face over & over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley scoops Turner up and drops her arm across her knee with a shoulderbreaker. She lies Anjanette's arm out and elbow drops it. She pulls Turner up over her shoulders in an alabama slammer but Anjanette catches the ropes.
(Ashley tries to flip her forward, but Anjanette hangs onto the top rope for dear life. She takes Ashley over into a head scissors takedown. She pulls her up into a belly to back cradle suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner steps up onto the second turnbuckle and clotheslines Ashley with the leather strap!! She grabs the strap and whips Ashley across the back! Again!
(Ashley tries to crawl away, but Turner drags her back by the strap. She atomic drops Ashley on the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. She climbs to the second rope and waistlocks her)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner belly to back superplexes her off the second rope!! She pulls Ashley's head into her legs and lifts her up onto her shoulder and powerbombs her!! She grabs hold of Ashley's hands and legs & pulls her up for a second powerbomb!!
(Anjanette Turner lifts her up for a third rolling powerbomb!! Ashley goes limp and Anj drags her to the corner. She tags the first turnbuckle and the audience boos. She drags Ashley to the next corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette tags the second turnbuckle, that's two!
Phil Blauer: That's sort of implied by the second turnbuckle.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner dragging Ashley over to the next corner, and Ashley trying to stop her...but Domino runs over and smashes her in the face with a double ax handle! Turner tags the third turnbuckle!
(Los Angeles fans boo as Ashley is dragged to the last turnbuckle. Anjanette Turner tags it and Ron Reid signals that Turner can now attempt pinfalls and submissions)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner tags all four corners and now is eligible to pin Ashley. She grabs Ashley's leg and swings around into a spinning toe hold but Ashley kicks her off into the turnbuckles! She comes up from behind the champ and wraps the leather strap around Anjanette's throat!
(Ashley uses the 8 inches she has on Turner to pull her off her feet with that belt around her neck! Turner grabs wildly for the ropes, Ron Reid's shirt, anything. Domino jumps on the apron and complains to Reid)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette drops to her knees and drives the top of her head through Ashley's chin with a jawbreaker. She steps up onto the second turnbuckle and waits for Ashley to turn around. She jumps into a spinning huracanrana!! She cradles the leg with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner scoops up Ashley but on the way down, Ashley cradles her leg into a small package!
Phil Blauer: But the pin doesn't count!
Guillermo O'Bannon: She monkey flips Anjanette across the ring! She clotheslines Anjanette with the leather strap! She climbs to the top turnbuckle but Domino stands up on the apron and pulls down on her leg to crotch her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook.
(The audience boos Ashley's predictament. Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope and gut wrench superplexes her!! She covers Ashley)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette applies an arm scissors. She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's throat! She squeezes down on Ashley's arm while cinching that belt tighter around her windpipe.
(The fans boo. Rachael pounds on the apron trying to keep Ashley awake. Ashley kicks her feet out, gasping for air. Anjanette pulls her up by her curly hair and irish whips her into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner hits her with a flying body press but Ashley catches her and powerslams her! She lifts her up over her shoulder, wraps the leather strap across Anj's throat, then drops down to her knees in a widow's peak!!
(The Staples Center cheers. Ashley wraps the leather strap around Turner's feet and begins dragging her to the first corner, the cheers get louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley tags the first turnbuckle and is trying to get the honor of pinning the champ. She gets to the second corner and tags the turnbuckle. Domino grabs hold of Ashley's foot!
(Rachael walks over to Domino, who screams and runs away. Inside the ring, Ashley shakes her head and then presses Anjanette over her head. Rachael applauds on the outside, while Domino pleads with Ashley to put her down)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley drops Anjanette Turner chestfirst on the mat behind her! She pulls Turner's head into her legs, but Anj blocks the piledriver and back body drops her! She steps up on the second turnbuckle, then front flips into a legdrop across Ashley's neck!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She wraps the leather strap around Turner's throat and chokes her with it. She swings her around & round, Ashley's legs are off the ground and then Ashley drops her on the mat! She hops up on the second turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a spinning huracanrana but Ashley turns it into a last ride powerbomb!! No pin allowed, so she irish whips Turner into the ropes and drives her into the mat with a rock bottom!!
(Ashley headlocks Turner, runs up the ropes into a stratusfaction bulldog! She wraps the leather strap around Turner's wrists, and then legdrops the back of Turner's head. She begins dragging Anjanette Turner towards the corner, and the fans leap to their feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley tags the first turnbuckle and is back on the comeback trail. She drags Anjanette over to the corner and tags the second turnbuckle! She gives Turner a few kicks and then drags her over to the third corner. She tags the third turnbuckle!!
(The Staples Center is on their feet as Ashley pulls and yanks on the leather strap with all her might. She reaches out to the turnbuckle but she's mere inches away. The audience claps faster & faster in support for Ashley)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley makes one last gargantuan tug and tags the last turnbuckle!!
(The crowd lets out an ear splitting pop and Ashley turns around and looks into Anjanette's eyes. She then rains down with whips from the leather strap)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley grapevines Turner's leg and then wraps the belt around Turner's throat! Ron Reid checks in to see if the champion wants to submit.
Phil Blauer: Sure, now that it counts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley plants her knee and pulls up on that leather strap around "Sexy" Anjanette Turner's neck. Ron Reid tests Turner's arm but the champ keeps it up.
(Domino grabs Ashley by the hair from the outside and pulls her off of Turner! The Staples Center boos, and Racheal chases Domino around the ring again until she chases her up the walkway. Ashley climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring. Anjanette Turner yanks on the leather strap and crotches her on the top turnbuckle steel cable hook)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner climbs to the second rope with her back to Ashley. She inverted crucifixes her and reverse razor's edge powerbombs her chestfirst from off the second turnbuckle!! She rolls Ashley over and pins her!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ashley kicks out)
(Audience gasps in relief and then applauds Ashley for kicking out. She pulls Ashley's head into her legs, but she blocks it, and alabama slams Anjanette Turner onto the back of her head!! She rolls forward with her legs into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Anjanette Turner rolls her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: She irish whips Turner into the ropes and smacks her upside the head with a superkick! She goes for a suplex but Anj blocks it with her calf. Anjanette Turner counters with gut wrench tigerbomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley gets her shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette grapevines her leg, and then wraps the leather strap round her neck before lying on Ashley's back. She ties that neck off tight, pulling her head off!
(The Los Angelenians boo Anjanette, who ignores them and continues to pull up on the leather strap around Ashley's neck. Rachael yells encouragement to her from outside the ring, as the audience clap in unison for her to hang on. Ashley starts pumping her fists, internalizing their claps and using it to power out of the choke)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley on her feet and punching Turner over & over! The fans are on their feet! She whips Turner's back and then irish whips her into the ropes...flying body press!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley applies a masterlock! She links those hands together and uses those powerful arms to apply pressure to the back of her neck.
Phil Blauer: You know, I kind of like the masterlock. It seems Vince has been tweaking submissions lately by adding linked hands instead of linked fingers. The same thing with Mohommad Hassan's camel clutch.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yes, but you also like that show Prison Break.
Phil Blauer: That's true.
(Ron Reid checks in with Anjanette Turner, who shakes her head "No". Ashley rams Turner's unprotected face into the turnbuckle. She pulls Turner's head into her legs and piledrives her head into the mat!! The crowd pops and Ashley hooks her legs with the leather strap)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2....(Anjanette Turner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley three quarter nelsons Turner and runs up the turnbuckles into her acid drop but Turner pushes her off and crotches her on the top ropes! She pulls Ashley up back to back and then drops her chestfirst into a gory special bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Ashley kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner steps on the backs of Ashley's knees and wraps her legs up with hers. She wraps the leather strap around Ashley's neck and pulls her up into a bridging surfboard! She bounces Ashley's calves up & down while choking her with the belt!
(She pulls down on the strap while pushing up on the backs of Ashley's knees. Turner then drops her and climbs up on to the second turnbuckle and spins off into a roundhouse kick to Ashley's face!! She inverted facelocks Ashley and steps up on to the second turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner spins off into her Turner Tornado DDT!! She hooks her leg with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Ashley puts her boot on the bottom rope)
(The audience gasps and then applauds. Anjanette Turner run into the ropes, but Ashley catches her and lifts her up on her shoulder. Ashley drops back and drives Turner's head into the canvas with an emerald fusion!! The Staples Center comes alive, while Ashley wraps the leather strap around her neck a few times)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley stands over Anjanette and pulls up on the leather strap, making that thing into a noose! Turner kicking her feet out trying to stand up, but Ashley stands on her chest. She braces her foot against Turner's sternum and tugs up on the belt. She lifts Turner up and suplexes her!
(The crowd cheers, and Ashley sticks her knee into Turner's back, and pulls both of Anj's arms behind her. She then drops her backwards on to the back of her neck into a surfboard suplex)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley three quarter nelsons "Sexy" Anjanette Turner and runs up the turnbuckles into her acid drop!! She rolls her over and hooks both legs with the leather strap!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The Staples Center leaps to their feet and “Smooth” by Carlos Santana & Rob Thomas plays. Ashley's eyes light up and she unhooks herself from the leather strap wristband. Ron Reid hands her the Hardkore World Women's Championship belt)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 16 minutes 39 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...ASHLEY!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Ashley wins the Hardkore World Women's Championship!! Now she goes on to wrestle her most hated rival Alley at Hardkore Helloween in a steel cage match on pay-per-view in Cleveland, Ohio at the Gund Arena!
(Ashley stands up on the second turnbuckle with the Hardkore World Women's title belt lofted high over her head, soaking in the cheers of the Los Angeles fans)
(Camera shows the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts hanging over a ladder then fades out to Guillermo & Phil at ringside)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is a chance for us to clarify our tag team title situation. High Maintenance stole the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts, literally, during The Un-Stable's cage match against "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson.
Phil Blauer: Only in pro wrestling. You don't see the Buccaneers stealing The Patriot's Lombardi trophy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: About the only way they're gonna touch that thing.
("Get Down" by Everlast plays and the audience boos. Gavin Slater leads "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards and "New Sensation" Nathan Slater down to the ring)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The former tag champs trying to get those title belts back for real tonight, but it's gonna take alot more than running off with them this time. They're gonna have to beat Andrew Karnage & Robert Hunglestien III up, walk up that ladder and take em.
Phil Blauer: Or get themselves counted out and stay champions.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Little hard to do in a ladder match.
Yolanda Ando: Nathan Slater wears a unbuttoned black silk shirt and parachute red track pants...
Phil Blauer: Hammer Pants?
Yolanda Ando: Proper. Slater wears some black wrestling boots with "New Sensation" written on them. Jonathan Richards wears a sleeveless unbuttoned red silk shirt and black denim pants, red wrestling boots with "Rolls Royce" written on them.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following Ladder Match is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by their manager, Gavin Slater; They are both from Melbourne, Australia; Featuring first, standing 6 feet even; Weighing 222 pounds...'NEW SENSATION' NATHAN SLATER!! His partner stands 6 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 290 pounds...'ROLLS ROYCE' JONATHAN RICHARDS!! They are HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!"
(The Los Angeles fans boo as Richards and Slater prance around the ring. Then The Staples Center goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III & Andrew Karnage at the top of the ramp way. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me ...... It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over arena as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. Andrew Karnage walks down to the ring, slapping the fans hands on the way down as Hunglestien struts behind him)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage and Robert Hunglestien III have yet to be tested as a team since winning the tag team titles, wrestling a handicap match last month. But tonight, High Maintenance will take them to the limit.
Phil Blauer: I like ladder matches. They should institute more carpentry in wrestling. You have to figure a third of our audience has some sort of construction background. They have scaffolds covered, but what about a hammer match? Two pituitary retards fighting over a ball peen hammer. Now that would be carpentainment.
Yolanda Ando: Robert Hunglestien III is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. Andrew Karnage wears some standard white trunks with a blue stripe angled from his left hip to his right thigh. White kneepads with a blue stripe matching his tights. White boots with a blue toe, heel and tongue and a white elbow protector on his right arm and blue and white wristbands. Underneath Hunglestien's robe he wears a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the III from the end of his name. He also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. His boots are black and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Kilroy Evans. (Phoenix fans cheer) Featuring first from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds...ANDREW KARNAGE!! His partner is from Cleveland, Ohio; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
(The crowd cheers wildly. Suddenly "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards runs and clotheslines the back of Hunglestien's head and Mike Peters signals for the bell)
Phil Blauer: Nathan Lane hiptosses Andrew Karnage over.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater, Phil. Karnage ducks under a clothesline from Richards and comes off the ropes with a yakuza kick to Nathan Slater!
(The fans cheer. Robert Hunglestien III ducks under a right hand from Jonathan Richards. He atomic drops Richards legs into the rungs of the standing ladder and then tips it over)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater drop toe holds Andrew Karnage's face into the ladder!! Robert Hunglestien III pulls Richards up by the hair, but the big man grabs two handfuls of the Hung One's hair and headbutts him.
(Jonathan Richards diamond cutters Robert Hunglestien III on the ladder!! They turn around to Andrew Karnage and double suplex his spine across the ladder!! The Staples Center boos as High Maintenance celebrates downing both members of The Un-Stable)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater lies the ladder down on it's side, and pulls Robert Hunglestien III up by his hair. He inverted atomic drops his groin on the ladder!!
(The audience boos, as Hunglestien crab walks, grabbing his genitals. Jonathan Richards goes for a piledriver, but Karnage blocks it and back drops him. He t-bone suplexes Richards!! The fans cheer)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage walks over and kicks Slater in the gut. He butterflies Slater's arms and lifts him up. He drops Slater on his head with a Tiger Buster!!
(The Staples Center applauds, and Robert Hunglestien III is busy flipping Richards over in a fireman's carry. He then pulls Richards up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien backdrops Richards up in the air and Karnage catches him and powerbombs him on the ladder!! Richards' face is a mask of pain!!
(Nathan Slater armdrags Andrew Karnage by the ladder. He hits the ropes and sunset flips over Karnage and smacks the back of his head on the metal ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien grabs Richards by the arm and draws him in for a shortarm clothesline but Richards ducks and comes from behind and applies a cobra clutch. He ties up their legs and drops back into a leg sweep!
(Richards pulls Hunglestien up and irish whips into the ropes, and powerslams him! He pulls Hunglestien up and irish whips him into the ropes again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: High Maintenace double back body drops Hunglestien's back onto that ladder!! Andrew Karnage comes up from behind Nathan Slater with a kataha-jime chokehold.
(Before Jonathan Richards can help out, Karnage drops Slater on his head with a Lobotomy Suplex! Robert Hunglestien gets behind Jonathan Richards and applies a full nelson)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien drops Richards on his back with a full nelson slam! Andrew Karnage sets up the ladder in the corner and dumps Richards over his shoulder with an exploder '98 on to the leaning ladder!!
(Robert Hunglestien III drives his elbow into Nathan Slater's back. He then snap suplexes him, and climbs to the top turnbuckle)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pumphandles Nathan Slater up, and then owendriver '97's him as Hunglestien spikes him off the top rope!!
Phil Blauer: That's mocking The Soutter Special. I can smell mockery a mile away.
Yolanda Ando: You can, huh?
Phil Blauer: What's that smell?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage scoops Jonathan Richards up and then swings him around into a catatonic backbreaker!!
(Robert Hunglestien III sets up the ladder and begins climbing up. Nathan Slater tips the ladder over and Hunglestien falls off, over the ropes into the second ring!! The crowd boos)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien falls into that other ring. High Maintenance double dropkicks Andrew Karnage! Jonathan Richards scoops him up and drops him into a shoulderbreaker.
(Richards slides the ladder over and Nathan Slater bulldogs Karnage onto it! Robert Hunglestien III enters the ring and Jonathan Richards is ready for him and tiltawhirls him onto his knee with a quebradora con hilo! Slater sets the ladder up and climbs up to the top)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "New Sensation" Nathan Slater comes off the top of the ladder with a leg drop across Karnage's face!! Jonathan Richards irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and drills him onto his head with a belly to back brainbuster!!
Phil Blauer: They're just sucking up to Jonnie by using his old finisher.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Whatever works. Nathan Slater turns Karnage over into a boston crab. He tries to get good & low to cause the most damage to AK-47's lower back. Jonathan Richards pulls Robert Hunglestien up and piledrives him!! Meanwhile, Slater rocks back & forth with Karnage's legs, while Mike Peters looks on powerlessly.
Phil Blauer: That's a good look for him.
(Nathan Slater releases Karnage's legs and then walks over to Robert Hunglestien III. Slater half nelsons Hunglestien and then drops him in a cradle neckbreaker)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Richards picks up the ladder to smash it into Hunglestien's face, but Karnage dropkicks it into his face!! He turns around and sambo suplexes Nathan Slater!
(The Staples Center crowd comes alive. Robert Hunglestien scoops Jonathan Richards up and drops him on his head with a michinoku driver II!! Andrew Karnage hammerlocks Nathan Slater's arm and scoops him up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs into the center of the ring and hammerlock powerslams on to the ladder!!
Phil Blauer: That arm could be broken!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III smells blood and hops on Nathan Slater's back, applying a crippler crossface to his aching arm! Andrew Karnage lifts Richards up & over by the legs and then drops the back of his head on to that infernal ladder with an alabama slammer!!
Phil Blauer: "Infernal"? Who are you, Yosemite Sam?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien's got those hands linked and pulls up hard on Slater's face & arm. Andrew Karnage walks by and gives Slater's face a few stomps & kicks.
(Hunglestien releases the crippler crossface and lifts up the ladder. He lies it across the ropes in the corner. He pulls Slater up and then sets him up in the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien pulls Slater up in a powerbomb and then drops backwards, slamming Slater's face on that bridged ladder!! Andrew Karnage hoists Richards up on his shoulder and runs across the ring into a death valley driver!!
(Hunglestien grabs Richards by his legs and catapults him up into a Nightmare Lariot by Andrew Karnage!! Richards falls back against Hunglestien's upraised knees, and the Los Angeles fans are deafening)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III inverted facelocks Slater and then pulls him up into a suplex, before dropping him across his knee into a backbreaker! Andrew Karnage is climbing up that ladder!
(The fans cheer louder & louder as Karnage gets closer to his tag team titles. Nathan Slater hobbles up the ladder and gets to the top before Karnage does. Karnage smashes Slater with a few punches and gets up high than Slater)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater monkey flips Andrew Karnage off the top of the ladder into that second ring!!!
(The Staples Center chants "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" Robert Hunglestien III tries to suplex Richards, but he blocks it with his calf)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Rolls Royce" Jonathan Richards brainbusters Robert Hunglestien!! Nathan Slater climbs up to the top of that ladder again. He comes off with a plancha, but Hunglestien catches him and powerslams him!!
(The LA fans go crazy! They chant "HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!! HUNG-LE-STIEN!!")
Phil Blauer: This audience has just completed the hardest chant I've ever heard. It's like chanting for Heidenreich.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage back in the ring and flips Jonathan Richards head over heels with The Nightmare Lariot!!
(The Staples Center lets out an earsplitting pop! Robert Hunglestien lifts Slater up onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry, but Slater falls behind him on his feet. Hunglestien turns around into a spinning heel kick)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards sets up the ladder and lies it on it's side. He scoops up Hunglestien and drops his stomach on the ladder!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage runs at Slater, but Slater drops him with a standing dropkick. Jonathan Richards and X factors Hunglestien's face onto the ladder!!
(Andrew Karnage waistlocks Richards from behind him and drops him back on to the back of his head with a backdrop suplex!! Hunglestien drop toe holds Slater's face on the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III elbow drops the back of Slater's head into that ladder!! Andrew Karnage pulls Slater up and tosses him over the ropes into the second ring with a head & arm suplex!
(Hunglestien applies an inverted indian deathlock on Jonathan Richards' legs while Andrew Karnage sits on his back and applies a cobra clutch camel clutch!! The Un-Stable bend Richards in half)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien clamping down on Richards' twisted legs and Karnage pulls up on his head & arm with The Sphinx Clutch! Richards' screams are bloodcurdling! Nathan Slater runs back into the ring with a barrage of punches to Karnage's face!
(Robert Hunglestien III DDTs Jonathan Richards' head into the canvas! Nathan Slater superkicks Hunglestien upside his head! Slater lies the ladder up against the corner)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ladder in the corner! He runs, handsprings into a body press against the ladder!! Jonathan Richards pulls Hunglestien up into a crucifix and then razor's edge powerbombs him!!
(The Los Angeles fans boo. Jonathan Richards pick up the ladder as Nathan Slater irish whips Andrew Karnage into the ropes, High Maintenance double clothesline him with the ladder)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jonathan Richards grabs Hunglestien by the legs and swings him around into a spinning wheelbarrow slam! Nathan Slater hooks Karnage in an inverted facelock and then drops back into a facefirst slam onto the ladder!!
(The audience gives both teams a round of applause for such a good match. Jonathan Richards scoops Hunglestien up and swings him around into a catatonic!! Nathan Slater sets up the ladder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Nathan Slater climbing up that ladder and has a hold of those belts! Andrew Karnage climbs up from behind him on the other side of the ladder and applies a kataha-jime! He hooks his legs into the rungs and then shows considerable power by spider suplexing him over the top of the ladder to the ring below!!!
(The Staples Center rocks with chants of "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Gavin Slater still has his hands covering his mouth in shock. Robert Hunglestien III gets behind Jonathan Richards with a burning hammer)
Phil Blauer: The Un-Stable is back on the attack!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Richards into Andrew Karnage who belly to belly suplexes him over the ropes into the second ring! Karnage knocks down the ladder and lies it in the center of the ring. Hunglestien double underhooks Slater's arms and pulls him up on his shoulder, then drives him headfirst into The Star Breaker!!
(Andrew Karnage walks into the second ring and chokeslams Jonathan Richards up and then slams him down on to his knee! Robert Hunglestien pulls Slater up and butterflies his arms again)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III slams Slater's face down onto the ladder with The High Life!!
(The crowd pops and Hunglestien sets the ladder up underneath the hanging belts. Andrew Karnage presses Slater over his head, then gets a running start)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage tosses Slater over the ropes into the audience!!
(Crowd chants "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" as Slater lies underneath a pool of front row fans. Robert Hunglestien climbs up the ladder and snatches the title belts! Mike Peters signals for the bell and the Staples Center roars)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable have reclaimed their belts!
("Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays as Hunglestien celebrates on the top of the ladder with both belts. Andrew Karnage pumps up the audience, shaking the ropes)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 23 minutes 22 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE UN-STABLE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein, Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, and Johnny Lee Harley are in the ring! Cobryn pushes the ladder over and Hunglestien sails down onto the ropes awkwardly!!
(The fans boo and Tears for Fears cuts out)
Phil Blauer: Boooo!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: When did you become such an Un-Stable fan?
Phil Blauer: Fuck The Un-Stable, I love Tears for Fears. They can't just lower the volume during this attack?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cobryn hits The Answer on Karnage on to the ladder!! Soutter runs down to the ring now as well!
Phil Blauer: Where did he come from? Did someone spill some nachoes?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter pumphandles Robert Hunglestien III up into The Soutter Special!!
(Soutter demands the microphone from Bill Kasal while The Society of the New Breed put the boots to Karnage & Hunglestien)
Soutter: "Miss me Huggles? Thanks for lifting that ban on me here. It feels like I never left."
(Soutter grabs the Hardkore World Tag Team title belts off of the ground)
Soutter: "Oh...and I'm taking these. In fact, me boys are taking them far away where you can never get them back. Because High Maintenance are the newest stars of Hardkore Britain."
(Soutter hands the tag team title belts to Jonathan Richards and they walk out of the ring. They collect Nathan Slater from the crowd and walk to the back)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter saw an opportunity when The Society of the New Breed began attacking The Un-Stable and stole those tag team titles again!
Phil Blauer: And now he's taking them overseas!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein is straddling over Hunglestien and undoes his pants!
Phil Blauer: Oh my god...no!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein pulls it out...
Phil Blauer: Wow, that stuff does shrink your nuts.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's gonna pee on Hunglestien!
(Kilroy Evans and Andrew Sinclair enter the ring, chairs a' swinging and clear The Society of the New Breed out of the ring. The fans cheer but Hunglestien is far from happy, he screams obscenities at anyone around him)
(Kilroy Evans grabs the microphone as the rest of The Un-Stable walk to the back)
Kilroy Evans: I've got a couple of questions, and I'd like some honest answers. How many people thought I could beat Adrian Tanner?
[The fans cheers overwhelmingly. Kilroy smiles and feigns embarassment.]
Kilroy Evans: Oh shucks, you're too kind. But now I've gota more difficult question for you. How many of you honestly believe I could actually beat Death Gojira?
[This time, the reaction is more mixed, with about half the crowd cheering and others making noise for Gojira. Despite this, Kilroy smiles again.]
Kilroy Evans: You know why I'm happy with that answer? Because a year ago, no one would've said so, and now I'm up to half of you. And that's fantastic. I've done extremely well here as part of a team, whether it's been as part of the MVC 2 or the Un-Stable. But on my own...well, on my Hardkore World report card my solo performances read as "great potential, but needs improvement." I've come a long way from getting a meat thermometer jammed in my eye at Hardkore Hall, and I intend to go much farther!
But for that to happen, something's gotta change. No, I'm not quitting the Un-Stable. Why the hell would I do that?! You've got Hunglestein, me, and the Andrews Sinclair and Karnage rolling together. That's four times the amount of awesome than necessary all rolled into one convenient package. No, being stupid and wandering off from my friends is not the way to go.
The problem is, I've been too nice. Stop laughing, I mean it. I've been holding back and it's taken a year to realize I shouldn't be. You know what holding back in Hardkore World gets you? It gets you killed. Or blown up, to speak from personal experience. It's time I stop drawing lines and start crossing them! And my first target is the same as my old target...Death Gojira!
You may be resting easy for now Gojira, but I know you heard it. There's just as many people cheering me on now as there are for you. And you know what? That's all the reason I need. It's always touched my heart when people take the time to come to these shows, because they want to see me or they want to see the Un-Stable. The fact that these people have invested themselves in me means more to me than you, I'm sure. After all, you're a king. The king of the fucking monsters. You've got their respect and that's enough. But I treasure those cheers because after working my ass off, I'm something better than a king. They wanted to like me and I did what I could to justify it. I'm proud of myself...
[Kilroy turns around in the ring, pointing to all the fans.]
...BECAUSE I'M THEIR BOY! I could give up, but why? Why shouldn't I get another shot at you, you scaly motherfucker? Gojira, I don't know what it'll take to get to you, but I'm willing to go the extra mile and find out! I cannot and will not consider my time here a success in any way until I have completed my goals: beating you and winning a singles title. You've taken my blood and my body, and you're welcome to more of it, but I will have your hide and the Hardkore America Title! Those may be two entirely different goals right now, but there are no limits to my patience and my endurance.
Your days are numbered, your highness. Because monsters aren't as scary once you've grown up a little.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match with someone with the most backstage heat this side of The Brothers of the Swastika. Zack Daniels recently got in over his head with the locker room who accuse him of stealing people's promos.
Phil Blauer: Stealing a man's promo is like stealing his woman. So I like this guy.
Guillermo O'Bannon: He's putting his Hardkore West Coast title on the line for a chance at Syberus' Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship. It's a title vs. title match, and it's next.
("Miseria Cantare" by AFI plays and then BOOM! Fireworks hit the arena)
Phil Blauer: Wow! Daniels stole AFI from Syberus too! What's he gonna do about it?
(The instrumental part plays complete and Zack Daniels comes out with his hood over his head. He's nearly knocked back by the boos from the Angelinos. He puts his thumb under the hood and looks to the left, then the right and then forward before jerking it back and stretching both his arms outward to which a shower of pyros start to fall. He then cockily saunters to the ring with the Hardkore West Coast title belt around his waist and gets on the apron. He looks at the crowd for a while before jumping over the top rope and going over to the turnbuckle where he perches the middle rope and stretches both his arms outward. He does that for the opposite turnbuckle as well and then takes off his hoodie and awaits Syberus)
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can buy this kind of heat. The net has been buzzing about this kid as if Matt Hardy Screwed Bret. But locker room heat is one thing, being able to win the matches is a completely different matter.
Yolanda Ando: Zack is wearing some blue and red medium sized tights with his initals "ZD" written on his ass. The design is the "Z" overlapping the "D". He's got on a sleeveless hoodie. Same colors as the tights and it says "Excellent" on the back of the hoodie with a big "Z" under it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a HARDKORE WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT Title vs. HARDKORE WEST COAST Title Match It is scheduled for a 30 minute time limit and your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada; He stands 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 216 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...'HARDKORE CANADA'S UNCROWNED CHAMPION..."
(Zack Daniels grabs Bill Kasal by the shoulder and whispers into his ear. Kasal looks confused and then nods, Daniels smiles at the audience)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "I beg your pardon, he is 'THE ORIGINAL' ZACK DANIELS!!!"
(The Staples Center boos and Daniels soaks it all in. He brushes some dust off of his West Coast championship belt. “Good Time” by Leroy plays but Syberus doesn't walk out. After a few moments, the shot cuts to backstage following Syberus as he confidently walks down the hallway, the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Championship around his waist and he sips on a Fresca. He catches the eye of some pretty young concession stand worker and flips her a wink of the eye. He turns the corner and bumps face first into the chest of Johnny Lee Harley, the Fresca spilling all over Johnny's cowboy boots.)
Johnny Lee Harley: Looks lahk you spilt some pop on my boots, boy. Gots anything to say bout dat?
Syberus: Yeah. I don't have time to deal with rednecks like you. Now piss off.
(Johnny just smiles, and Syberus puts his hand up in Johnny's face and turns around to walk away but he bumps right into a waiting Lucifer Jones, sadistic smile and everything.)
Lucifer Jones: 'Allo, mate. Fancy meeting you here. Heh heh heh.
(Both Jones and Johnny laugh now that they have Syberus cornered who quickly looks around for some kind of escape, but Johnny full nelson's him suddenly and Jones kicks him right in the balls!)
Johnny Lee Harley: Haw haw haw!!! Git em' Lucy!
(Syberus winces in pain, but Johnny holds him up and Jones spits right in his face then grabs him by the head and lays into him with dozens of quick, brutally stiff shots. Johnny slams him face first into the cement wall and then throws him hard into the ground, both men laying the boots to Syberus.)
Lucifer Jones: *with each kick* Fucker! You wanna talk some shit now!? *kick* You fuckin'...*kick*...lousy...*kick*...blue blooded...*kick*...arrogant son of a...*kick*...CUNT!
(Syberus lays there doing his best to protect himself from the barrage of heavy kicks, but Jones grabs him by the hair and spits in his face again, smiling cruelly. He slaps Syberus across the mouth then pulls out a sinister looking straight razor from his boot cuff and flips open the blade, shoving it threatingly towards Syberus's throat, his eyes wild now and in fear.)
Syberus: Easy now, Jones...
(Johnny Lee Harley kicks Syberus hard in the gut.)
Lucifer Jones: Now you shut your bloody mouth, Sy, lest I cut those offending lips of yours off. You say you wanna get hardcore?
(Johnny kicks him again in the gut, then in the chest.)
Lucifer Jones: You say you're gonna get brutal now?
(Johnny laughs and kicks Syberus square in the face, blood trickling down his mouth and nose. Jones laughs out loud, and pulls back on Syberus's head by the hair and flashes that straight razor again.)
Lucifer Jones: Syberus old boy, I'm gonna teach you now a lesson in what in means to be "hardcore". Hold still, ya cunt, I wanna make sure you learn your lesson right.
(Johnny quickly grabs Syberus's arms and holds him down as Lucifer Jones starts to carve into his forehead with the razor blade, blood quickly making his face a crimson mask. He screams out in pain and both Lucifer Jones and Johnny Lee mock him, howling out loud.)
Lucifer Jones: How's it feel, matey!? How's it feel to step into MY world!? YEEE-HA!!!
(Syberus tries his best to fight back, but both men quickly lay back into him with punches and kicks, leaving him a bloody mess on the arena floor. Jones tucks the razor back into his boot as Johnny scoops up a bloody Syberus, and then Jones delivers the Yankee Cracker hard onto the floor! Jones gets up, brushes himself off and leans against Johnny Lee, both men laughing at Syberus who's now a bloody and beaten mess, his face a literal horror mask of cuts and lacerations.)
Lucifer Jones: Well, I think he's ready for his match now with Zach. What do you think, Johnny boy?
(Johnny Lee smiles then spits out a huge lugee of tobacco juice into the face of Syberus.)
Lucifer Jones: Exacto-bloody-lutely. SOMEBODY CLEAN THIS PILE OF DOG SHITE UP!!!
(Both men leave laughing their asses off, Syberus cringing in pain and barely able to even get up to his knees. It fades out to the ring area)
Phil Blauer: Where the fuck is this limey?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, haven't you been watching your monitor?
Phil Blauer: And miss a second of Divorce Court?
(Cut to Phil's monitor)
Wife: I was taking night classes to better myself.
Judge Maybeline: You were taking night classes?
Wife: Yeah, and he never supported me in my dream to become a beautician.
Judge Maybeline: He wouldn't support you?
Wife: Nope. So he really drove me into the arms of his brother.
Judge Maybeline: He drove you into the arms of his brother?
Wife: That's right.
Husband: I object!
Judge Maybeline: You object?
(Cut back to Guillermo & Phil. Phil's eyes are glazed over, watching the monitor)
Phil Blauer: I'm afraid to miss a moment.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is staggering down to the ring, his belt hanging down in his arms, and a bloody mess! Zack Daniels isn't waiting for the bell and steps out on to the apron. He hops onto the middle of the top rope and backflips into an asai moonsault DDT on the floor!!
(Ron Reid signals for the bell, as the fans boo the opportunistic Zack Daniels. He rolls Syberus into the ring, and climbs up on to the apron. He climbs up onto the apron)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus doesn't even know where he is right now.
Phil Blauer: He's like your Dad, but bloody instead of a drunken mess.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels slingshots himself over the ropes, somersaults over Syberus into a swandive stunner!! He makes the pin!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels climbs up to the top turnbuckles and hits a prone Syberus with a corkscrew shooting star press!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He pulls Syberus up into a 3/4 nelson, then runs up the turnbuckles into a Sliced Bread No.2!! Once again he pins the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Syberus kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels climbs to the top turnbuckle again and spins off into a spiral tap he calls The Gravity Killer but Syberus rolls out the way!! Syberus vertical suplexes him!
(The crowd comes alive, and Syberus wipes the blood out of his eyes. He turns around and thez presses Daniels but Daniels catches him. He walks back to the ropes and then drops Syberus' throat on the top rope! He staggers back, clutching his throat, and Daniels DDTs him! He kips up and the audience boos the cocky Canadian)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels grapevines Syberus' leg and pulls him up in an STF!! Syberus' arms go limp, as Daniels tries to break his back.
(Ron Reid tests his arm, but Syberus keeps his arm up. The Los Angeles fans clap in unison to encourage Syberus. He bleeds all over Daniels' forearm. Syberus finally struggles over to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. Reid forces a break)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels pulls Syberus up by the bloodsoaked hair and tosses him throatfirst on the second rope. He runs into the ropes and comes through the ropes with a 619 dropkick but Syberus avoids it! He german suplexes Zack Daniels!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Zack Daniels rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is laying into Daniels chest with karate chops! Daniels ducks one and arm drags him across the ring. Syberus gets up and is arm dragged again. He back suplexes Syberus up into a blue thunder bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: He front facelocks Syberus and flips him over into a suplex! Syberus runs into the ropes and hits Syberus with an STO!
(Zack Daniels climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a 450 legdrop but Syberus rolls out of the way!! The crowd noise explodes, and Syberus pulls himself up and kicks the back of Daniels' leg taking him off his feet)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus rolls Daniels up into a la majistral!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Zack Daniels kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus knees Daniels in the stomach, and then swinging neckbreakers him! He lays an arm over Daniels!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Zack Daniels gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The grisly mess that is Syberus single underhooks Daniels arm, he's swinging for the fences with The Pure Confidence, but Daniels drops to his knees and low blows him! He butterflies Syberus' arms and drops him in a tiger driver '91!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus steps outside to the apron. He slingshots himself onto the middle of the top rope and comes off with a springboard spinning wheel kick!!
(The Staples Center boos Zack Daniels. He sneers at them and pulls Syberus up into a single underhook and smiles at them)
Phil Blauer: He's gonna steal The Pure Confidence like he stole Ezekial Rayne's mojo!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels drives Syberus' skull into the mat with the single underhook impaler DDT!! The Pure Confidence!
(The audience chants "FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* FUCK YOU DANIELS! *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Daniels lies over a bloodsoaked Syberus in an arrogant cover)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Syberus gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Zack Daniels runs up and steps up on Syberus' knee and smacks him in the temple with his Lights Out shining wizard kick!!
(Big Bad Bill slides into the ring with Ashley in tow. He lifts Daniels up on his shoulders in a human torture rack. He spins him around, into a belly to back piledriver!! The crowd roars)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Cross the “T” and dot the “I”!! Zack Daniels rolls out of the ring, clutching his head. Big Bad Bill sets up a chair in front of the ropes. Ashley runs into the ropes and vaults off the chair into a somersault plancha onto Zack Daniels!
(Zack Daniels smacks the back of his head against the guardrail! The Staples Center erupts in cheers. "The Punisher" Dan Stein runs down to the ring and pulls Zack up by his hair. He crotch-ties Daniels arm through his legs)
Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein pumphandles Daniels up into The Reckoning on the concrete floor!!
Phil Blauer: The locker room is revolting against The Original!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein rolls Daniels into the ring, and Syberus is waiting for him with The Pure Confidence!! He rolls him over into a pinning position!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
(The audience leaps to their feet in celebration as “Good Time” by Leroy comes on. Syberus rolls over with his arm raised in victory. Ashley grabs Daniels by the head in a 3/4 nelson, and runs up the turnbuckles in her acid drop!! The fans cheer louder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Daniels angered the locker room and felt their fury.
Phil Blauer: Like the time that I impregnanted Xyrynth and blamed it on Bruno. No one talks about it or to me to this day.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 8 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...SYBERUS!!!"
(Syberus takes his Hardkore World Light Heavyweight and Hardkore West Coast title belts and holds them both up in the air, then collapses, bleeding a basketball sized pool of blood near his head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus was brutally attacked before the match by The Society of the New Breed, thereby guaranteeing a loss to the high flying Daniels. But as luck would have it, plenty of people in the back were planning some brutal attacks of their own.
(EMTs, Ron Reid, and Mike Peters help a bloody Syberus to the back with both title belts slung over his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus now goes back to Cleveland to wrestle Lucifer Jones in a dog collar match for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship. Zack Daniels goes on to that giant barbed wire clusterfuck called Hardkore Helloween for a shot at Cobryn.
(The lights go out in The Staples Center. Multi-colored lights dance over the double cage as it slowly lowers over the two rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here we are! It's time for the match I've been waiting for all month. A Wargames Match between the newly formed Society of the New Breed and a one-two punch of Legion X & The Dark Ryderz Movement. The prize, the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship.
Phil Blauer: Can that cage fill the ego of those 8 mens? We may need to reenforce that ring like when JR has to do an in-ring interview.
("No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays and the audience boos. The Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Cobryn steps out in his beautiful black robe. Behind him walks the Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Lucifer Jones, he steals a beer out of a fan's hand and finishes it on his way down to the ring. "The Punisher" Dan Stein walks out next. His manager, the lovely Domino, hesitantly follows. Stein yells at her to get moving, and she grudgingly obliges. Johnny Lee Harley feverously stalks his way into the ring screaming various things. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner tries to give him his distance, while she limps a little, nursing the welts on her back from the leather strap match earlier tonight)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Society of the New Breed walks down to the ring and nearly blinds everyone with their gold. Will they get three more belts tonight?
Phil Blauer: I don't know about that, but with Stein, Harley, and Lucifer Jones don't you think their going over their wife beater quota?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette lost her belt earlier tonight, but still coming out to support The Society.
Phil Blauer: She's playin hurt!
Yolanda Ando: Johnny Lee Harley wears green trunks and a large brown cowboy hat to the ring, with a lasso that he swings all the way down during his entrance. He also carries a branding Iron. He wears green standard wrestling boots. Dan Stein wears a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out. Cobryn wears regular black tights and has tanned skin. He also wears black wrestling boots and has tape around his oft-injured forearm. Finally, Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and his ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Wargames Match. Two men will start out for 5 minutes. After that a cointoss determines who will have the 2 on 1 advantage. One wrestler will enter every two minutes until all 8 men are in the ring. Only then, can the match end by submission. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by "Sexy" Anjanette Turner & Domino; From Sweetwater, Texas; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 312 pounds...JOHNNY LEE HARLEY!!! From Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!! And hailing from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 237 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...LUCIFER JONES!!! Finally, their captain is from Key Largo of the Florida Keys; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBRYN!! They are THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!"
(The Staples Center boos. "Headless Children" by WASP plays and the jeers turn to cheers. Smoke billows out of the entrance and outwalks SWAT Heavyweight Champion Stan Wilson. He sneers at the jeering LA audience while jogging in place. "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson, Bad Boy King Kong and The Microshocker walk out next with their Hardkore Six Man Tag Team Championship belts. Dracon Xanathos follows behind them)
Guillermo O'Bannon: SWAT's Legion X and Hardkore World's Dark Ryderz Movement have joined forces to eliminate a common enemy in Cobryn and his Society of the New Breed.
Phil Blauer: Dracon Xanathos down there with them like a Puerto Rican JJ Dillon.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stan Wilson and Big Bad Bill are running things Down Under and looking to take that dominance across the Oceans to the West Coast here.
Phil Blauer: Like Hitler.
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, not like Hitler, Phil. But Big Bad Bill wouldn't mind getting a win back from Cobryn here in the double cage.
Yolanda Ando: Big Bad Bill wears some indigo cotton pants with black boots that go to mid-shin. Black belt & indigo tank top and a pair of black weight-lifting gloves. Rally Jackson wears green capoeira gui with yellow trim. Big Stan wears some black leather trunks with the words "Big Tank" embroided on the back, and an image of a small tank on the front. Black elbow pad, as well as black wrist tape on the left arm. Black hand and wrist tape on The Chokeslam Hand. Black kneepads, with ankle length black leather boots to complete the outfit.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by Bad Boy King Kong and Dracon Xanathos; Featuring first, from Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 200 pounds from Birmingham, Alabama; Standing 6 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 325 pounds; He is The Current SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...STAN 'THE TANK' WILSON!! Featuring first, from Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet even; Weighing 200 pounds...THE MICROSHOCKER!! From Asbury Park, New Jersey; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...BIG BAD BILL!! From Rio De Janeiro, Brazil; Standing 6 feet 3 inches; Weighing 241 pounds...'TIGERHEART' RALLY JACKSON!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE DARK RYDERZ MOVEMENT!!!"
(The fans boo. The 8 men take their position at the opposite sides of the cage)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The captains, Cobryn & Big Bad Bill chose the order in this match and it seems as if they have both chosen themselves. They will wrestle for 5 minutes before a coin toss determines the next team to get a man in the cage.
(Cobryn and Big Bad Bill enter the cage. Bill rushes Cobryn and takes him down with a leg scissors takedown! Ron Reid signals for the bell from the outside and locks the cage door)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill lifts his leg and bashes Cobryn in the face with it. Cobryn gets to his feet and begins popping Bill in the face with right jabs. Bill smiles and blocks a jab with his forearm.
(Big Bad Bill fakes for a punch and then counters with a spin kick to Cobryn’s stomach. Bill uppercuts him and follows with a double axe-handle to his nose as he is reeling from the uppercut)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill backs Cobryn into the corner, and then shoulder blocks him in the gut. Bill swinging kicks Cobryn backwards to the face while still hugging him close!
(Bill kicks Cobryn in the groin his other foot is swinging down, followed by a boot the face before Bill puts his foot back down to the mat! As Cobryn falls back into the ropes, Bill assists him with a shove, as he rebounds off the ropes Bill short-arm clotheslines him down hard to the mat)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Bill battering him with a barrage of kicks. Bill hops on to the second rope. He uses the chain link roof for balance to hop backwards and kick Cobryn in the face!
(The fans cheer, but Cobryn ducks under a yakuza kick and nails Bill with a few overhead haymakers. Cobryn flips Big Bad Bill over into a sambo suplex! Cobryn lifts him up for a powerbomb but Bill huracanranas Cobryn facefirst into the steel cage!! The Staples Center roars. Cobryn is busted open)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn is showing some color, and Bill stomps him in the stomach. Triple B scoops Cobryn up and drops his face into the steel cage again with a snake-eyes!! Bill grabs Cobryn by the head while in the corner and pushes his face hard into the steel cage again!
(Triple B begins delivering knee-lifts to the Cobryn’s jaw. He finishes Cobryn off with a shining wizard kick to his temple! Bill pulls Cobryn up and irish whips him into the ropes)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pops Cobryn in the face with a flying elbow! He three quarter nelsons Cobryn and runs up the turnbuckles into an acid drop, but Cobryn reverses it into The Answer!!
(The Los Angelinos boo wildly, while a bloody Cobryn tries to catch his breath. He full nelsons Bill and pulls him up to his feet)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn release dragon suplexes him, no bridge, all impact! Cobryn presses Bill over his head. He gets a running start and slams Bill’s face into the cage!! Bill staggers back into a stone cold stunner from Cobryn!
(Cobryn gives the fans a double middle finger, but means it. The Los Angeles fans boo. Big Bad Bill now has a gash over his eye. Cobryn sets him up for a northern lights suplex, but Bill brings his knee up into Cobryn’s face a few times)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill double underhooks Cobryn’s arms and drops him into an Enso DDT!!
(Cobryn bleeds on to the canvas. The fans cheer Bill, as well as Stan Wilson, The Microshocker, Rally Jackson and Bad Boy King Kong. Meanwhile Triple B tosses Cobryn over the ropes between the rings. He traps Cobryn’s arms in the ropes facing the opposite ring)
Guilllermo O’Bannon: Triple B jumps on the top rope. He grabs the cage with his feet on the ropes and leaps up and down, bruising his opponents arms between the ropes! He’s bouncing up & down on those ropes to hurt Cobryn’s nagging arm injuries!
(Cobryn cries out in pain and then Bill leaps down in the opposite ring and delivers a back-kick to Cobryn’s head. Big Bad Bill runs opposite the ring and leaps through the ropes with a spear to Cobryn’s kidneys, breaking him free into a crumpled mess on the floor)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill starts tattooing Cobryn with knife edge chops to the chest!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
(Fans scream out “Wooooo!!!” as each blistering chop whacks Cobryn in his pectorals)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
(Cobryn backs into the ropes, but Big Bad Bill continues to whack him with karate chops as the “Wooo”s grow louder & louder)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Blood sprays off of Cobryn’s face as Big Bad Bill continues to knife edge chop Cobryn’s red & tender chest)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
(Referee Ron Reid flips a coin. Stan “The Tank” Wilson calls out heads. It’s tails. “The Punisher” Dan Stein opens the cage door and enters the ring. Big Bad Bill trips Cobryn with a leg sweep kick)
Phil Blauer: The Society of the New Breed have the 2 on 1 advantage!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein comes up from behind Big Bad Bill and drops him with a hangman’s neckbreaker! Dan Stein pulls Bill up and irish whips him into Cobryn who clotheslines him!
(Cobryn tries to catch his breath as “The Punisher” Dan Stein lifts Big Bad Bill up into a argentinean backbreaker! Big Bad Bill’s arms hang to his side as the 6’7 Punisher bounces his spine on his shoulder)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein continuing to rack Bill’s spine with his hanging backbreaker. Cobryn gets to his feet and plasters Bill with a few punches as he hangs in the argetinean backbreaker. Stein drops to his knees, jamming his back into Bill’s spinal column. Cobryn gets underneath Bill’s legs and lifts him up into an electric chair, bashing the top of his head into the steel cage roof!!
(The impact bends Big Bad Bill backwards into a gory special. Cobryn drops down into a piledriver!! Cobryn pulls a bloody Dan Stein onto his feet, and then irish whips him into the ropes)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stein catches Bill on the way back with a powerslam!
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: “Tigerheart” Rally Jackson enters the ring to even up the odds! He dropkicks Cobryn but lands in a handstand!
(The LA fans cheer Jackson’s balance. Dan Stein walks over to him but catches a huracanrana by Tigerheart!! Cobryn whacks Rally Jackson in the chest with several karate chops! The Staples Center “Wooo”s each one)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill places Dan Stein in the torture rack position and climbs the ropes to stand on top again, using his deft agility and balance. He begins the torture rack leaping from the top, hitting Stein’s body into the top of that unforgiving steel cage with each leap!!
(Rally Jackson tattoos a bloody Cobryn with some feirce kawada kicks! Triple B will twists into the tombstone position and piledrives The Punisher into the mat, completing the cross the “T” and dot the “I” piledriver!! The fans go wild)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson rushes Cobryn but he flapjacks Tigerheart into the cage!! Dan Stein hammerlocks Jackson’s arm and chicken wing suplexes him!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Cobryn tosses Rally Jackson on to his head with a wrist clutch exploder!!
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Phil Blauer: Johnny Lee Harley comes into the ring and gives The Society of the New Breed.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson irish whips Dan Stein into Big Bad Bill who hits him with an Unfettered Might twisting spear! Rally Jackson hits Johnny Lee Harley with a head & arm buster!
(Big Bad Bill bashes Cobryn into all three sides of the cage in the first ring before applying The Dis-Locator on both his arms!! Rally Jackson lifts Dan Stein up into a hanging suplex)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson drives a bloody Stein’s head into the mat with a piledriver!! Johnny Lee Harley slugs Rally Jackson, dropping him with one punch!
(Johnny Lee Harley punches Big Bad Bill breaking up The Dis-locator on Cobryn! Rally Jackson lifts Dan Stein up in a hanging suplex. He sits him on the top turnbuckle)
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
(“Tigerheart” Rally Jackson walks Dan Stein into the center of the ring and drops down into a muscle buster!! The Staples Center cheers Jackson)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’ Bannon: Cobryn hits Big Bad Bill in the side of the head with a double kneelift to the side of the head! Cobryn turns around into a running big boot from Stan “The Tank” Wilson that knocks him over into the second ring!
Phil Blauer: The blood that sprayed off of Cobryn’s head there created for a cool effect! Stan Wilson is evening things up.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein DDTs Rally Jackson’s skull into the canvas! Bad Boy King Kong slides in three night sticks, and Big Bad Bill grabs it. He whacks Johnny Lee Harley in the head with it!!
(A member of the audience holds up a sign that reads: “The beatings will now begin”. Stan Wilson steps over both the ropes into the second ring to whack a bloody Cobryn in the temple with a nightstick! Rally Jackson cracks Dan Stein in the head with the billy club and Dan Stein falls into the second ring)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Rally Jackson gets underneath Stein’s legs and pulls him up into an electric chair, he pitches him forward into a Joker Driver!!
Phil Blauer: With all these nightsticks it's like that party I had for Mark Furhman's book release party. You thought Stacy Koon was wild on the tape, you should see him at kareoke!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley tosses Stan Wilson facefirst into the steel cage! Stan starts to bleed and Harley bites his forehead making him bleed even worse.
Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
(Johnny Lee Harley chews on Wilson's face, as Rally crouches over Dan Stein and bludgeons him with right hands)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Big Bad Bill is hammering a blood drenched Cobryn, staining his hands red)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones enters the ring and fucks up Legion X's good thing. Jones comes up from behind Big Bad Bill and drops him on to the back of the head with a snap backdrop driver!!
(Lucifer Jones steps into the second ring to even things up there, and Cobryn jumps to take advantage of a bloody Stan Wilson. He rakes Wilson's face back & forth between the cage, bloodying him even further)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones irish whips Rally Jackson into Dan "The Punisher" Stein who powerslams him! In the other ring, Cobryn picks up one of those night sticks but Triple B grabs it too, and they are now wrestling for control of the stick!
(The fans cheer as the two former World Champions struggle for control of the billyclub. Cobryn gets the stick under Bill’s chin first, but Bill eventually gets the upperhand and starts choking Coby with it)
Guillermo O'Bannon: What place is more appropriate for Bill to unleash the LA choke hold?
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bill trips Cobryn into the corner where he hits his head on the bottom turnbuckle. With the nightstick under his chin as he hits the back of his head, Cobryn’s neck could have snapped! Rally Jackson enters their ring and drives Cobryn's head into the mat with a styles clash!!
"Wild” Bill Kasal: “10 seconds!”
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 9
Guillermo O'Bannon: Once The Microshocker gets in this cage only then can the match end, and only by submission.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 8
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 7
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 6
Phil Blauer: Big Bad Bill showing his salt as the Captain of this team by allowing The Shock to come in last.
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 5
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 4
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 3
(Stan "The Tank" Wilson irish whips Dan "The Punisher" Stein into the ropes and tiltawhirls him into a powerslam! The LA crowd begrudgingly applauds his show of strength)
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 2
“Wild” Bill Kasal: 1
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Shock is in the ring and now we have reached The Match Beyond.
Phil Blauer: What's that supposed to be?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I dunno, but Schiavone always said it. The Microshocker comes off the top rope with a flying eye gouge!
Phil Blauer: The Shock is a technical wizard! Lucifer Jones rubs his eye and then kicks The Shock in the plumbs.
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones lifts The Microshocker up in a crucifix powerbomb and slams him into the cage!! A bloody Big Bad Bill hooks a kataha-jime chokehold on Johnny Lee Harley!
Phil Blauer: This is the only way the match can end is submission...right?
Guillermo O’Bannon: That's right, Phil (feeds Blauer one of his treats). Bill clamping down on the throat of Harley before Stein walks over and stomps Bill in the head. Stein picks Bill up in a hanging suplex.
(Cobryn pulls some brass knuckles out of his trunks and bludgeons Stan in the face with them until they are covered in blood. Stein finally drops Bill in a jackhammer)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Stan has had just about enough of Cobryn and pulls him up in a bearhug! He squeezing the life out of his fellow World Champion, and could be trying to end this match right now! Johnny Lee Harley lands a knee into Wilson's kidneys to break up the love.
("Tigerheart" Rally Jackson lifts Lucifer Jones up in a human torture rack and then flips him over into a burning hammer!! Dan Stein comes up from behind Stan Wilson and drops him back into a russian legsweep)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed have been swarming on Big Stan so far. Except for Cobryn who lifts The Microshocker up into a crucifix that slams the top of The Shock's head into the roof of the cage! He then drops him headfirst with a DDT!!!
(The Staples Center boos Cobryn. Johnny Lee Harley pulls Big Bad Bill's head into his legs. He lifts him up in a piledriver, letting him hang upside down for a while before drilling his bloody skull into the canvas)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed; 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Microshocker comes up from behind Harley and hits a neckbreaker that he calls the F2.
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O’Bannon: I stopped asking years ago. I think it has to do with his computer gimmick. The Shock enters the second ring and irish whips Cobryn into Stan Wilson who catches him in a black hole slam!!
(Big Bad Bill pulls Lucifer Jones up on his shoulders in a powerbomb, and drives Jones' head into the cage!! Then he bounces him off the ropes into a slingshot powerbomb)
Guillermo O’Bannon: A grisly looking Cobryn comes up from behind The Microshocker and half nelsons him. T-bone suplex on The ShockDaddy!
Phil Blauer: I think I smell our Main Event for Palm Springs Punishment 2006! Dream with me...Cobryn & The Shock. One Night Only!
Guillermo O’Bannon: Lucifer Jones butterflies Rally Jackson's arms and pulls him up into a double underhook Canadian backbreaker! Dan Stein irish whips Big Bad Bill into Johnny Lee Harley with his devastating lariot he calls The Steer Mover!!
(Jones drives Rally's head into the mat with a stiff piledriver out of the Canadian backbreaker!! Dan Stein crotchties The Microshocker's arm through his legs)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein pumphandles The Shock up into The Reckoning!! Stein pulls Rally Jackson up by the dreads and irish whips him, but Rally Jackson reverses it and sends Stein into Bill who corkscrew spears him!!
(The Staples Center explodes with cheers. Rally Jackson kicks Cobryn in the stomach and lifts him up & over his shoulder, then drops down into a widow's peak! Stan "The Tank" Wilson stands on Cobryn's throat, choking him with his 325 pounds)
Phil Blauer: That's quite a load to be standing on your neck.
Guillermo O’Bannon: In the other ring, The Microshocker irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes and then takes him down with a Shockercanrana!! He sits on Jones face a little longer than most versions though. The Microshocker getting a little revenge for the beating he took in Manchester, England from Lucifer Jones in the Hardkore Britain title match.
(The fans cheer as The Shock grinds his nuts in Lucifer Jones' face. Johnny Lee Harley pulls The Microshocker up in a double underhook and DDTs his face into the canvas! A bleeding Big Bad Bill pulls Cobryn's head into his legs, as Rally Jackson climbs to the second turnbuckle, ducking his head under the roof of the cage)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pulls Cobryn up on his shoulder and then Rally comes down with the assist for the Tower of Terror bomb!! Rally pulls him up, but Cobryn punches him right in the grapes, and Dan Stein hits Jackson with a stunner!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining."
(The crowd boos. A bloody Stan Wilson irish whips Cobryn into the ropes and catches him with a flapjack facefirst into the steel cage!! The fans cheer wildly. Cobryn staggers back with a crimson face, and The Microshocker X factors his face into the canvas, leaving a bloody stain where Cobryn's face bounced)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Microshocker gets a running start and spears himself over the ropes into the second ring at Dan Stein, but Lucifer Jones intercepts him with an emerald frosion brainbuster!! Johnny Lee Harley comes off the second rope with a leg drop across The Shock's face!
(Cobryn drops Big Bad Bill with a wrist clutch exploder! Cobryn pulls Bill up by the hair and Bill whacks Cobryn in the shins with a sweep kick. Cobryn bounces up & down, clutching his calf)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Big Bad Bill pops Cobryn in the face with a superkick! In the other ring, Stan "The Tank" Wilson scoops Lucifer Jones up and drops him with a owendriver he calls The Tank Drop!!
("Tigerheart" Rally Jackson catches Dan Stein coming through the ropes between the two rings with a rolling koppo kick! Stan Wilson irish whips Lucifer Jones but he jumps up on the ropes, and walks across to the other ring on the middle of the top rope, then jumps off and catches Big Bad Bill with a springboard DDT)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Johnny Lee Harley picks The Microshocker up in a powerbomb so high he hits his head on the roof of the cage, then powerbombs the back of his head against the turnbuckle!!
Phil Blauer: Yikes, that was more head damage than the VCR at the porn shop gets!
Guillermo O’Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein pulls The Microshocker up in a backslide then latches his head with both hands and pulls him over his back, bending his neck over his shoulder! The Microshocker's own 200 pounds of weight are pressuring that neck that just got knocked into the cage and turnbuckle!
(Cobryn sits on Stan Wilson's back and applies a sleeper hold to his head & face. Cobryn pulls back as if in a camel clutch, but clamps down on his face with the sleeper)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining!"
Guillermo O’Bannon: Dan Stein bouncing The Microshocker's neck up & down across his shoulder as Mad Dog Vachon did with that same move back in the old AWA in the 60's. Rally Jackson pops Cobryn in the face with a kawada kick to break The Cobryn Clutch!
(Big Bad Bill applies The Dis-Locator on Cobryn and he shrieks in pain! The fans roar at the submission move and the bell rings)
Guillermo O'Bannon: This match is over! Cobryn has submitted and Legion X and The Dark Ryderz Movement have retained the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 38 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!"
Phil Blauer: What?
Guillermo O’Bannon: The senior referee Ron Reid has signalled that it was The Microshocker that submitted to The Final Solution neckbreaker and not Cobryn. The Society tries to get out while the gettin's good, but Big Bad Bill is bludgeoning Dan Stein with those billyclubs!
("Sexy" Anjanette Turner & Domino open up the cage door and drag Dan Stein out while Bill goes to town on his legs with the nightstick! Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, and Johnny Lee Harley escape out the other side as "No Quarter" by Led Zepplin plays on the PA system)
Guillermo O’Bannon: The Society of the New Breed's Escape From LA includes the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles!
(Anjanette Turner and Domino hand Jones, Harley, Cobryn and Stein their title belts which total 5 in number. They show the ridiculousness of it all by trying to loft them all but some fall)
Guillermo O’Bannon: Next month fans is the Hardkore Helloween Cup. A tournament that's been around since 1995, it is four barbed wire falls count anywhere battle royals. The way to eliminate your opponent is to pin him or make him submit. The winner of those four battle royals team up in a barbed wire tag team match later on in the evening. The winning team wrestles later that night in a barbed wire match to be declared the 2005 Hardkore Helloween Champion and recieve a title shot at the Hardkore World Champion. Also, Cobryn puts that Hardkore World Championship on the line against Death Gojira. Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Lucifer Jones dons the dog collar in a match with the Hardkore World Light Heavyweight & West Coast Champion Syberus. New Hardkore World Women's Champion Ashley puts her belt on the line for the first time with her hated rival Alley in a steel cage match. Join us then folks!
(Video fades out on a bloody Cobryn, Lucifer Jones, Dan Stein, Johnny Lee Harley, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner, and Domino posing on the stage with their new title belts)