TV Taping: Coachella, CA
Oct 17, 2023 23:31:10 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom đ·, and 1 more like this
Post by Jonnie Valentine on Oct 17, 2023 23:31:10 GMT -5
Coachella, California
Spotlight Showroom
The show opened with Hardkore Jonnie Valentine standing mid-ring with a microphone in his hand and a steel chair in the other.
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: âYou know, the higher ups at The Network, and by that I mean KPLM, the station that airs Hardkore World Tonite here at 2am, 3am Mountain time. They say that unless we get our ratings up, they will give our time slot to the Fry Daddy infomercial.â
The crowd boos loudly
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: âNow we fought hard to get to where we are today. We took on the Shamwow. And we won.â
The fans applaud proudly
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: âWhen we got that time slot, everyone said we couldnât compete with Chuck Norrisâ rowing machine. But we took that prediction, and we shoved it up their ass!â
The audience is beside themselves, almost drowning out Jonnie. Hardkore Security Larry Valentine Jr. gets into the ring with a Fry Daddy
Hardkore Jonnie Valentine: âSo tonight, weâre gonna show KPLMâs programming manager Gene Spaudling and his secretary Gladis who will never put through my calls, that Hardkore World is better than any industrial strength fryer!!â
The Coachella crowd chants âHARDKORE WORLD!! HARDKORE WORLD!! HARDKORE WORLD!! Larry Valentine Jr. puts the Fry Daddy down on the mat and Jonnie swings the chair over his head and smashes the Fry Daddy with it. It does minimal damage due to itâs superior engineering made right here in the US. Jonnie continues to batter it with the chair at least symbolically as the crowd changes it chant to âFRY DADDY SUCKS! FRY DADDY SUCKS! FRY DADDY SUCKS!â as the shot changed to a slightly dinged Fry Daddy next to a completely destroyed steel chair
Bobby Nowa vs. Pork Dirkmeyer
Pork came sauntering down to the ring eating a 3 foot sub stuffed with pulled pork, bacon, ham, capicola, prosciutto, and fatback. Bobby Nowa returned to a huge pop from the Coachella fans that grew up watching him in Palm Springs. Bobby wore Dirk down early with some matwork and an arm bar and a front facelock. Dirk got to the ropes and got free, but by the time he figured out how to get up, Bobby caught him with a missile dropkick. Nowa came off the second rope with a double stomp to Porkmeyerâs voluminous midsection. He raised some eye brows by hitting a jumping version of Syberusâ Pure Confidence single underhook DDT that he calls Nowa Daze and then made the cover.
Sweet Bone Daddy vs. âEl Exoticoâ Joey Little Horse
Joey Little Horse grabbed Sweet Bone Daddy by the skull mask and snapmared him, but he just pulled his skull off. Sweet Bone Daddy ran around like he couldnât see as a confused Little Horse looked on. Daddy got his skull and put his head on straight, but Joey Little Horse devastated him with stiff tomahawk chops until Bone Daddy fell to the mat. Little Horse applied an indian deathlock to Sweet Bone Daddyâs twisted legs but the masked skeleton wouldnât quit. Joey Little Horse shot him into the ropes and tiltawhirled him but Sweet Bone Daddy rolled up to Joeyâs shoulders and took him over in a victory roll. Sweet Bone Daddy took off his leg bone to hit Joey with, but Little Horse ducked under it and kneed him in the stomach. Joey softened up Sweet Bone Daddyâs arm with a chicken wing and later converted it by grabbing both of Sweet Bone Daddyâs arms in the Indian Standoff for the submission victory.
The Great Syberus vs. The Martian
In his return, Syberus dizzied the poorly trained Martian with ring technique, then having him on the mat with a cross armbar. Martian was able to wrap his legs around Syberusâ body and counter with a body scissors. He released the body scissors and then set up Syberus for The Pure Confidence DDT but Syberus escaped by taking The Martianâs hand and bending his fingers back. Syberus caught The Martian with a diamond cutter, and then pulled down his knee pad, hitting the Muscle Killer knee drop to his face. He grabbed the single underhook and hit The Pure Confidence for his first win back.
Scorpion vs. âThe Punisherâ Dan Stein
And angry Dan Stein picked Scorpion up off his feet and threw him into the turnbuckles. He stomped him over and over until he was puddy in the corner. Dan shot Scorpion into the ropes and flipped him head over heels with a discus clothesline. He easily twirled him around into a pumphandle sit out slam known as The Reckoning, and then applied The Final Solution rings of saturn for the win. As soon as the bell rung, Alexander Von Blankenship slid into the ring and start punching Dan Stein and stomping the back of his head. Hasbulla blew on his whistle on the outside in agreement. Satisfied with his work, AVB pulled out some beard clippers and started signaling that he was going to shave Danâs mustache. Just as he was about to, he spied Domino and started walking towards her flirtatiously. Unfortunately for him, everyone else in the building saw Dan Stein stand up right behind Von Blankenship. El Rey and âThe High Rollerâ Wesley Crane ran down to ringside to protect AVB, but inside the ring. An enraged Dan gorilla pressed AVB over his head! He tossed Von Blankenship onto The Anointed on the floor, knocking them over like bowling pins. The Anointed staggered to the back while AVB made threats about their match, and his mustache, at Hardkore Helloween 2023.
Team Fairtex (Tong Fairtex and Phantam Fairtex)
vs.
Storm and Thunder (Johnny B Ogobo and Kenezu Fujiwara)
vs.
Storm and Thunder (Johnny B Ogobo and Kenezu Fujiwara)
Phantam Fairtex took Kenezu Fujiwara over in a firemanâs carry and then hit him with a muy thai style dropkick. Fujiwara started peppering Fairtex with boxing jabs, but that was a bad move, as Phantam returned fire with muy thai strikes to his face and knee strikes to his body. He tagged in his brother Tong and they did a double DDT. Tong gave Kenezu a shake rattle and roll, and then irish whipped him, but Fujiwara reverses it and shoots Fairtex in the corner. He follows in with a clothesline, and then tags in Johnny B Obongo who climbs to the top turnbuckle. Obongo catches Tong with a front missile dropkick. He went for the Afrikkaner spear, but Tong caught him in the face with a muy thai knee strike, and then hit him with the Bangkok Blast enzuigiri. He tagged in Phantam who climbed to the top turnbuckle. He irish whipped Obongo into the ropes and belly to belly suplexed him and then Phantam swanton bombed him for the Air Fairtex and the victory
The Hurricane vs. Kalmin Watts
Watts seemed to be a little frustrated his Sooner Squeeze didnât do its job, and immediately overhead belly to belly suplexed Hurricane nearly into the lights. He grabbed Hurricane by the stomach with a claw. Hurricane tried to get to his feet, but Watts spiked him into the mat with a spinebuster. Kalmin Watts readjusted his mask then made the cover.
El Rey vs. Uncle Claymore Clyde
Uncle Claymore Clyde came down with his manager Mad Dog Cyril and their fan favorite donkey, Dinky. When El Rey came down to the ring, he got annoyed with Dinky and tried to force referee Richie âPee Weeâ Richardson to remove it. Richie checked the rule book and found there was no rule against donkeys being managers. Early in the match, Uncle Claymore Clyde went for a superkick, but Rey caught his foot and turned it into a dragon screw leg whip to the mat. El Rey stunned him with a double stomp to the face and then got a two count with a double arm german suplex known as Xed Out. Rey scooped him up with a bodyslam into an El Raytio Variation 1 reverse DDT. Mad Dog Cyril got on the apron and complained about El Reyâs anti-donkey agenda, so Richie Richardson missed the low blow from Clyde. Clyde headbutted Rey in the face, and went for his slingshot suplex but Rey floated over behind him and hit him with a sliced bread #2. El Rey hit his styles clash called The Society Killer for the 1-2-3.
Moondog Dook vs. Florida Man
A very angry Florida Man and a perpetually disturbed Moondog Dook battled throughout the crowdâŠto start! Florida Man bit Dook, and Dook responded by headbutting him and biting him back. Florida Man took a drumstick from a fanâs 8 piece and hit Dook between the eyes with it. He rubbed the chicken in Dookâs eyes, and then rolled him back into the ring. Florida Man gave him a Death Roll neck claw and rolled around the mat until Moondog Dook gave up. After the match Florida Man tried to force Greg Jin announce him as the âRightful Hardkore Florida Champion.â He was about to, but Kilroy Evans music started playing and Florida Man, took a powder through the audience.
Steve Awesome vs. Suikerbossie
The South African shooter Suikerbossie stood in the ring waiting for Steve Awesome while his wife Mein van Houten cleaned the ringside area with a mop in her housecoat. Eventually Hardkore Intern Andy Valentine Jr. ran down to the ring and informed Greg Jin, who informed the crowd that Steve Awesome had blamed poor weather for him not being able to make the TV taping. As it was a chilly Coachella day in the high 90s, it was an odd excuse so the fans booed his no-show, but cheered when referee Tommy Milligan awarded Suikerbossie the win by default. Later the Torch put out on Twitter that rumors backstage were that the real reason was because Steve Awesomeâs loss in the End Of Days tournament. Wade Keller cited sources close to Steve that feel like something is off about him lately.
Randy Candy vs. The Sheik
The Sheik came in with a chair and blasted Randy Candy in the head with it. He climbed to the top turnbuckle and came flying down with an Arabian Facebuster across Candyâs skull. He rolled him over and applied The Last Crusade camel clutch to win in lightning fast fashion.
Ri Eun-Ae vs. âThe Milkmanâs Daughterâ Klazina van Dam
Klazina Van Dam came down to the ring dressed as a milkmaid, but with Hardkore Womenâs Champion Mickie Fury walking down with her. Van Dam started off with a knife edge chop to the throat, and Ri Eun-Ae hit Klazina van Dam with a left palm thrust to her nose, dazing her. She grabbed van Damâs arm in a wristlock, then kicked her in the back of the head and shoulders. Klazina Van Dam took her free hand and spinning back fisted her in the cheekbone. Van Dam climbed to the top turnbuckle for a moonsault, but Ri Eun-Ae pushed her and crotched her on the top turnbuckle. Eun-Ae climbed to the second turnbuckle and back superplexed her to the mat. She double underhooked van Dam up into a facebuster powerbomb called the Thunderclap Zap. Ri Eun-Ae then pressed van Dam over her head and walked over, looking at the Hardkore Womenâs Champion Mickie Fury. Fury nodded back, and then Eun-Ae dropped her into a tiltawhirl backbreaker called Jupiter Thunder Dragon for the victory. Afterwards, she and Mickie Fury had a stand off in the ring before cooler heads prevailed.
Dutch Boy vs. Disneyâs Marty Donovan
The mohawked Dutch Boy came out in his boxer shorts, and he was a house on fire. He hit Marty with windmill punches and a jawbreaker. He kneelifted Marty in the jaw, and went for a DDT but Donovan grabbed his legs with an inverted atomic drop. Donovan came off the ropes with a slingblade. He gave Dutch Boy The Ollie Driver â22, tiger driver â98, and then went out to the apron. Donovan climbed to the top turnbuckle, then Ode to Romero 450 splashed Dutch Boy for a two count. Marty motioned for everyone to stand on their feet, and then knocked out Dutch Boy with a Dis-Knee v-trigger and made the cover for the victory. The bell had barely rung when Cross Recoba slid into the ring and jammed the top of a chair into the long injured shoulder of Donovan! The Spotlight Showroom rocked with boos as Cross stabbed Marty in the arm over and over with the chair. He threaded Donovanâs arm through a chair and climbed to the top rope, then stayed up there, soaking in the jeers and dread from the Coachella audience. That was a mistake, as âThe Punisherâ Dan Stein came down to the ring with The Peacemaker, and The X Crown Champion was forced to abandon his plan of maiming his Hardkore Helloween 2023 opponent. Recoba left ringside, but the damage was done, as Marty was placed on a stretcher and taken out of a silent Spotlight Showroom, with a worried Dan Stein at his side.
The End (Scott Fargo and Mehrunes Smith)
vs.
Hardkore Tuvalu (Anisai Paisi and Sami Ielemia)
vs.
Hardkore Tuvalu (Anisai Paisi and Sami Ielemia)
Apisai Paisi and his partner the 6â8 Sami Ielemia with their manager Nese Siose come from Hardkore Tuvalu, the former Oceania Rising Federation, that Hardkore World enveloped back when it was creating new territories. Since Hardkore World no longer comes to them, they decided to come to the West Coast and make a run at the new Hardkore World Tag Team Champions The End. Early in the match, Sami Ielemia shot Scott Fargo into the ropes and hit him with a big boot to the head. Ielemia walked Fargo out into the center of the ring with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Sami tagged in Apisai Paisi, then shot Scott Fargo into the ropes for a double shoulder tackle. Paisi gave Fargo a spinning fist drop called the Lava Flow for another two count. Apisai Paisi irish whipped Fargo into the ropes, but Scott came back with a snap roundhouse kick and tagged in Mehrunes Smith. Scott Fargo waistlocked Paisi and Mehrunes Smith dropkicked him as Fargo release german suplexed him. As Paisi tried to get up, Mehrunes cracked him in the side of the head with a Mindflayer shining wizard. Then Smith pumphandled Apisai Paisi up into the In Water half nelson driver. He tagged Scott Fargo back in who caught Apisai Paisi with a backstabber and held him there as Mehrunes came off the top with a Blacksky Eye shooting star press to send Apisai Paisi, Sami Ielemia, and Nese Siose back to Tuvalu on the losing end