Race: Sippy Cup Qualifier 3 - November 2023
Nov 26, 2023 22:46:27 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and Dave D-Flipz like this
Post by h2f on Nov 26, 2023 22:46:27 GMT -5
Final Sippy Cup Qualifier!
November 2023 Race
November 2023 Race
The leaves in the North Carolina mountains have turned as autumn settles in. Groups of animals gather for their various activities, be it migrating, mating season, or preparing for winter dormancy. CAR gathers to hold one last qualifier before the Sippy Cup.
Grandma Mary: Welcome, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters-
Uncle: More likely grandchildren, have you seen our demographics?
Grandma Mary: I’m getting there! Welcome, members of the CAR family.
Uncle: Speaking of family-
Grandma Mary: Please welcome the Punch Buggy!
The Tiger Beetle pulls up to the starting line with a purr. Abby waves from the driver's seat to her cousin Brittney as she steps out of the woods by the starting line.
Grandma Mary: Wonderful to see family cooperation!
Uncle: Next up-
Grandma Mary: I’m thankful that Dr. Doomerputs has brought us the Angry Mad Chemists!
As the Chemistruckinator pulls up the starting line, Dr. Doofenshmirtz shouts from the stands a correction to his name.
Uncle: I’m thankful that mispronouncing his name irritates him as much as the Doof floof irritates you. Both are fun to watch.
Grandma Mary: I’m thankful that the crew WILL remember that their new device may not be used during the race. I’m thankful they will be TURNING IT OFF NOW.
Uncle: That’s much better.
Grandma Mary: And just in time for the arrival of Team Wood!
The Silver Sliver joins the starting line as Greg waves to the stands.
Uncle: Glad they got their vehicle situation sorted. I know changes in the line up can upset the team balance.
Grandma Mary: Speaking of changes to the team…
The old lady passes her son a sticky note.
Grandma Mary: The CAR family extends their condolences to EOD. The unexpected- and well televised- loss has hit all of us hard. Though their new driver seems to have bounced back well.
The Car That Should Not Be slides into position with limp tentacles and an animated driver who is not a werewolf.
Uncle: Our thoughts are with the remaining crew. And thank you for not leaving this plane on CAR.
Grandma Mary: Plane? We haven't had a plane race yet. Oh, you mean life. Right. Well. That’s everyone. Hit it Forest.
The Forest Force both approach a microphone and hold a small object to their mouth.
QUACK
Uncle: Was that a Space Duck?
Grandma Mary: And they're off! Team Wood is leading the charge!
Uncle: They are like days ahead of everyone! EOD is making a play for second with Tiger Beetle ahead of AMC.
Grandma Mary: It’s still anyone's race as they head into their first obstacle. The Turkeys.
Lawn ornament turkeys swing by their feet at the passing vehicles like an upside down George of the Jungle.
The Crew Radio chirps to life:
Billy: TURKEY INCOMING!
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: DODGE IT!
Billy: Like hell I will! Chemical blasters engage! Melt that bird. Make everyone thank us for showing what a wasteful person Memaw is! That could have been sent to a food shelter!
Bob the (Formerly) Immortal (Because He Used to Be a Book): No! Catch it! It'll save on the grocery bills!
Uncle: They glance off the silver sliver, smash against the AMC, and are side swept by EOD’s tentacles.
Grandma Mary: Shoot! I think the only damage is to the turkey that hit AMC. They didn’t even slow EOD down! EOD has caught up to Greg.
Uncle: They sure did! And here comes the second obstacle: Cannons. Why is it always cannons, mom?
Grandma Mary: They are my love language.
Uncle: Team Wood passes into The Danger Zone.
*Pop-Bang*
Grandma Mary: They've been feathered!
The Crew Radio:
Ovi: Billy! Visibility is at near zero! How are you holding up?
Billy: Since there was no map, this is clearly a straightaway so I can just drive through the feather storm and keep going!
Dilbert:The Car sees all spectrums and frequencies! Plus she has powerful wipers.
Grandma Mary: Team Wood has slowed down. I think Greg’s eyes are closed.
Uncle: AMC swerves into EOD who corrects them with a flick of the tentacle. EOD overtakes the wood as we head into the final obstacle.
Grandma Mary: Roast ‘em!
Uncle: Flames are shooting up from the track!
Grandma Mary: Do you think this is contributing to global warming?
Uncle: I thought we were calling it climate change nowadays?
The Crew Radio:
Greg: Global Warming for sure.
Dilbert: As a scientist with impeccable credentials, as shown by this syringe of fluorescent green liquid I'm holding, it's technically both.
Ian: … Does that matter? All that matters is thanking us for solving the problem … or for not making it worse.
Uncle: All crews have entered The Hot Place.
Grandma Mary: Hell! And now I can’t see!
Uncle: Isn’t known for its views.
Grandma Mary: A winner! I would like to take a moment to thank all our crews that not only completed in this month’s event but also in all the qualifiers. You are each talented. That said, we are only taking a few crews in the Sippy Cup, Reedy Creek Racing, Bowler Hat Brigade, and Team Wood. We will have a Guest Judge. I will post that information when CAR posts for the Sippy Cup.
Uncle: That’s great! I look forward to seeing those crews race next month! Who won this month?
Grandma Mary: Greg! Second goes to EOD with AMC rounding off the third. Great job everyone!