Post by Jonnie Valentine on Dec 1, 2023 18:38:30 GMT -5
"How the Gods Kill" by Danzig plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 19 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber...Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope...Lucifer Jones gives Devon Stevens a London Air Raid off the top rope through a table on the floor...Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa backflips off the cage, catching Brandi on the top turnbuckle on the way down with a inverted FireBird DDT...Death Gojira puts the ladder over Cobryn's head in the corner with his chest in the turnbuckle, then jumps off the top turnbuckle on the long end, see sawing him into the audience....Kilroy Evans grabs Adrian Tanner Jr. on the apron and hits The Bad Touch to the floor...Vampira comes off the top rope with a shooting star press on Vagabond through a table on the floor...Andrew Sinclair gives Andrew Karnage an exploder off the ring steps on to the concrete floor...Lucifer Jones gives Kilroy Evans a burning hammer off the apron through a burning table with thumbtacks...Tatsuya Arakawa DDTs Sun off the apron to the concrete floor...Legacy pulls "Platinum" Pat Bozzini into a set-up for a piledriver, but Bozzini blocks it and reverses it into an alabama slammer but on the way over, Bozzini turns it into a tigerbomb then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America". The camera pans around The Rose Garden showing the fans chanting "HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!! HARD-KORE WORLD!!" A giant triple cage hangs over the ring. The shot pans out to Guillermo O'Bannon with an blow dried Phil Blauer sitting in the next chair
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello and welcome to Portland! This state has more strip clubs per capita than any other state in the union...
Phil Blauer: Hot dog! Where did you hear that?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here.
Guillermo flips Phil his Come To Oregon broucher
Phil Blauer: Wow, Oregon's state flag pictures a beaver on its reverse side. It is the only state flag to carry two separate designs.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (grabs the flag) I'll be darned. It does have two sides!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight is the last show before The Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament, and then we go to Palm Springs Punishment! Everybody's trying to get into the best position possible before Jonnie decides who gets what slot on the year's biggest pay-per-view.
Phil Blauer: Oregon has more ghost towns than any other state.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Everyone knows that. James Fierce struck it lucky in Las Vegas scoring an upset over Andrew Sinclair and winning the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Now he tries to keep it, putting it on the line against Robert Hunglestien III. Hunglestien shocked the World last month, turning on his own group The Un-Stable. He says he's tired of waiting for his shot, well tonight he gets it. Let's see what he does with it.
Phil Blauer: The Columbia River gorge is considered by many to be the best place in the world for windsurfing. Including myself. I love to get out there on the open river, the wind blowing through my mustache...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: But sir, you don't have a mustache.
Phil Blauer: (points to his brain) Up here, I do.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Kilroy Evans takes on his number one contender, "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. Arakawa fired the first shot across Kilroy Evans' bow...
Phil Blauer: Ewww.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...when he entered himself into The Un-Stable's wargames match, brutalizing Kilroy Evans as a message. Then in Vegas, they couldn't keep their hands off each other...
Phil Blauer: Ewww.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...interfering in one another's matches. Tonight, they face off once again in what is sure to be a stiff brawl the likes we haven't seen in years.
Phil Blauer: Oregon and New Jersey are the only states without self-serve gas stations. Elitist pricks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: L.S.D. won the Hardkore World Tag Team Championships from The Un-Stable with alot of help from Lonewolf McNeely and Robert Hunglestien, Hunglestien even claiming to have laid down for them. Tonight they get their first chance to prove that wasn't a fluke by defeating another team of former enemies, The Shootfighter and Paul Soutter.
Phil Blauer: Eugene was the first city to have one-way streets.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's time to lower that huge triple cage hanging over the ring. Tamara Sanchez is the master of the triple cage, the only woman to be undefeated in that kind of match. She won her last one in , but this has got to be the biggest challenge of her career. Six of her top contenders are all looking to take the title off of her in this race to the top.
Phil Blauer: The hazelnut is Oregon's official state nut. Oregon is the only state that has an official state nut.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Lonewolf McNeely or Christian Sebastian Kennedy or whatever he's calling himself these days puts his Hardkore West Coast belt on the line for the first time against "The Saviour of Professional Wrestling" David Sadler. Sadler is a well traveled competitor who has held dozens of titles, could the West Coast title be the latest one he adds to his resume? Or is Robert Hunglestien III's handpicked assassin here to stay as champ?
Phil Blauer: The Chinook salmon is Oregon's official state fish. And a tasty one.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Sun and "Platinum" Pat Bozzini chain themselves together for a Connecticut Chain Match. Sun is looking to get the upset of the year by defeating the UCW Triple Crown World Champion. But Bozzini has got World titles on the brain, and a win over Sun is a good start to putting him in line for ours.
Phil Blauer: Eugene is rated by "Bicycling Magazine" as one of the top ten cycling communities in the United States.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then my favorite match of the night. Rated X is back and continues his war with The Un-Stable. He made an unsightly mess of Adrian Tanner Jr. in Palm Springs and wants to do the same with the AK-47. But Karnage has never been afraid of a little blood, and wants to end the legend of Rated X here tonight with the Nightmare Lariot.
Phil Blauer: Portland is considered an example of outstanding urban planning. The city is known as The City of Roses.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, that's why this place is called The Rose Garden...
Mr. #100 walks out to no music, handing out fake $100 bills with his picture on the front
Phil Blauer: Hey, it's Rated X!
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Phil. It's Mr. 100, he's one of Hardkore World's newest talents. He lost in a threeway dance with The Microshocker & The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: Jiminy Christmas! That's low card!
Yolanda Ando: Mr. 100 is covered from head to toe in a bright green body suit with the number 100 on it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Rose Garden here in beautiful, Portland. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine present tonight's Hardkore America action. Our first match of the evening is a Threeway Dance. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, From the Hundred Acre Wood; Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...MR. 100!!!"
The crowd gives him a mixed reaction. The Rose Garden darkens as a demonic voice is heard
"FEAR...
THE DEAD...
FEAR...
SAIN!!!"
Phil Blauer: (jumps in Guillermo's lap) Mommy!
At that point, huge pyros explode as the lights come back on and "Crossed" by Sam X hits. Christian Sain walks out wearing a white jacket with his face hidden by the hood. He gets on the apron, climbs the turnbuckle, and removes the hood and raises his arms. He hops into the ring with a wicked smile on his face and removes the jacket
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here's another one of our new cruiserweights talents here on the West Coast. It's Christian Sain, a former WAW Champion.
Phil Blauer: Wow, I guess they are getting tough on steroids in pro wrestling. Didn't I rent a movie from this kid today?
Yolanda Ando: Christian Sain wears some long silver pants and a white sleeveless t-shirt. Also wears black tape around his hands and wrists, and black elbow pads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Lowell, Massachusetts; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 155 pounds...CHRISTIAN SAIN!!!"
The fans give him a round of applause. Suddenly, Lucifer Jones jumps into the ring and cracks Mr. 100 in the head with a baseball bat!! He wails back and nails him again
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is in the ring! He has nothing to do with this match!
Phil Blauer: Threeway!
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can't just change the match like that, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Who's talking about the match?
Mr. 100's head is bleeding like a faucet. The crowd hushes up for a few tense moments, then boos like crazy at Lucifer Jones who has a crazy smile across his face. He calmly walks over to the crawling body of Mr. 100 and delivers a brutal kick square into his face! Jones has a mic in his hands, and grabs Mr. 100 by the throat, bringing his face nose to bloody nose.
LuJo: "Now then, you got anything ELSE to say about me dear old mum?"
Jones slaps him hard across the face, still smiling like a hyena. Mr. 100's head kinda lolls to the side
LuJo: "No? Not gonna answer me then, eh? C'mon you filthy bastard, say something funny again! Make me laugh!"
Christian Sane doesn't know what to do. He looks over at the crowd, who's booing like crazy, then decides to do something
LuJo: "Oi! Hold it right there, mate! You just stand there in the ring like a good little monkey and let me do my business, alright? Or do you really want to make your first match here in Hardkore America you last?"
Christian ponders this a moment, the nods his head and stands there
LuJo: "Good boy. Now back to you..."
Jones kicks Mr. 100 again in the face, then grabs him by the mask and starts to drag him around the ring, talking the whole time on the mic, intersperced with a vicious kick every few feet
LuJo: "Now lets get one..."
KICK!
"...thing straight here, asshole. The next time you wanna..."
KICK!
...wanna get some more quote unquote 'heat'? Think again about throwing..."
KICK!
...MY fucking name out of your lips, bitch! You got a...
KICK!
...problem with that, boy? Take it up with Jonnie.
Jones grabs Mr. 100 by the waist and the neck, then pretty much just shotputs him headfirst into the turnbuckles! Mr. 100, a bloody mess now, slumps to the floor
LuJo: "There now, good luck with your match. Hahahahaaaaahahaaa! Bitch ass motherfucker..."
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe this, how is Mr. 100 supposed to wrestle like this?
Mike Peters signals for the bell and Christian Sain pulls him up by the bloody mask
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sain irish whips Mr. 100 into the ropes and hits him with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Mr. 100 kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 rakes Sain's eyes. He irish whips Christian into the ropes, but Sain ducks underneath a clothesline. He hits the ropes on the other side and takes 100 down with a spear!
The Portland crowd applauds. Sain applies an armbar and takes a seat. He sticks his knee into the ball of Mr. 100's shoulder and pulls back on his armbarred arm
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 works his way to his feet and armdrags Sain over by his armbarred arm. He applies an armbar of his own. Peters checks in on Sain, but he refuses to submit.
Sain kips up onto his feet, but Mr. 100 hangs on to his arm. Mr. 100 grabs him by the hair and pulls him back down to the mat. The fans boo and Mr. 100 slaps on a claw
Guillermo O'Bannon: A blood covered Mr. 100 gets a good grip on Christian Sain's temples, pressing them in with his thumb & pinky. Sain gets to his feet again, but before Mr. 100 can grab his hair, Sain hits him in the stomach with hard jab. Sain knocks him into the corner with another hard punch. He grabs the ropes and thrusts his shoulder in Mr. 100's stomach.
Sain drives his shoulder into Mr. 100's stomach a few more times, then suplexes him out of the corner. He scoops Mr. 100 up and drops him on his knee with a backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sain goes for a DDT, but Mr. 100 backdrops out of it. Mr. 100 headbutts Christian Sane in the face, and then irish whips him into the ropes. Flying forearm!
Mr. 100 elbow drops Sain. He bounces into the ropes, but Sain rolls out of the way of a second one. Mr. 100 clutches his elbow, and Christian Sane scoops him up into a shoulderbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane goes back to Mr. 100's arm with a crippler crossface. He links his fingers and pulls up on Mr. 100's face & arm.
Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out. Mr. 100 almost does, but balls his fist up to prevent it. Sain pulls him up in a waistlock and german suplexes him
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Mr. 100 rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane irish whips Mr. 100 into the ropes, but Mr. 100 comes back with a clothesline! He bounces into the ropes and drops a knee between Christian Sane's eyes.
Mr. 100 runs into the ropes and splashes Christian Sane
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Christian Sane kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 drops a leg across Sane's face. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Christian Sane springs to his feet and climbs to the second rope to meet him at the top. Christian Sane superplexes him! The momentum carries him over into a pinning position!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Mr. 100 kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane irish whips Mr. 100 into the turnbuckles, but Mr. 100 hops onto the middle turnbuckle and flies backwards into a cross body block!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Christian Sane kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 irish whips Sane into the ropes, he dips down for a backdrop but Sain reverses with a twist of fate!
Christian Sane wraps Mr. 100's legs up and turns him over into a scorpion deathlock. Mike Peters asks Mr.100 if he submits but he shakes his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane rocking back with Mr. 100's legs, trying to sit low on his back. A bloody Mr. 100 taps out!
The bell rings and "Crossed" by Sam X plays. The fans applaud as Mike Peters raises Christian Sane's arm in victory
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 7 minutes 14 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...CHRISTIAN SANE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane scoring his first win here in Hardkore World tonight, a red letter day in any wrestler's life. Partly with some help from Lucifer Jones though, we'll see how he does in his next match.
The shot cuts to a storage room somewhere in the arena. As the shot pulls out, it shows Kilroy Evans sitting across from an angry Robert Hunglestein III. The particular reason behind his anger is that he's tied to a folding chair.
RH3: What the fuck do you think you're doing?!
Kilroy: You know, it took me long enough, but I figured it out.
RH3: That you loop the laces around, then go through the rabbit hole?
Kilroy: No, but thanks for reminding me.
Kilroy quickly takes out a piece of paper and makes a few notations. He turns back to RH3
Kilroy: No, I figured out what's going on. I mean, this whole "I'm a bad guy again, pay attention to me" stuff is pretty ridiculous. You spent, like, a year to get to this point and then decide to change your mind? I call bullshit.
RH3: Well maybe if I hadn't have been held back by the likes of you---
Kilroy: And the worst part is, you were okay now. We'd finally cleared the hurdles and become friends! You were actually funny for the first time in your life! I'm not sure I can take credit for ALL of that, but...
RH3: This is business, not a social club. Deal with it.
Kilroy: I am. That's why I tied you to the chair. So before I hand you off to Microshoker...
RH3's eyes widen in surprise.
Kilroy: ...I'm going to find out who brainwashed you.
RH3: What?!
Kilroy: Yep, you've obviously been brainwashed. To just throw away all that time and effort, plus my loveable company, proves you're not in your right mind.
RH3: Wouldn't it mean the opposite?
Kilroy: Quiet, I do the jokes here. So while I conveniently turn my back to you, go ahead and brainstorm about who might've warped your fragile little noggin.
Kilroy turns around and picks up a crowbar. When he turns around, he's face to face with a standing RH3...whose arms are still tied to the chair.
Kilroy: They grow so fast these days.
RH3: Next time, not that there will be one, you need to remember to tie the feet to the chair as well.
Kilroy: I see.
Hunglestein rams his shoulder into Kilroy and they both go down. RH3 gets up to leave, but Kilroy rolls over and trips his feet up. Kilroy clambors onto RH3's back, and holding his head up by the hair.
Kilroy: Oh no, you're not leaving until I've deprogrammed you! And if I can't, I'll film your special time with Microshocker and sell it to raise money so professionals can do it. If there's any left over, I'll get you a therapist, too. *looks up* Aw, nuts.
Kilroy looks up in time to see Lonewolf McNeely arrive and spear him off of Hunglestein. RH3 gets up and finally frees himself completely and motions for McNeely to stiop pummeling Kilroy. They both leave as Kilroy struggles to an upright position.
Kilroy: Of course you realize, this means war.
Fade back to the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have another newcomer debuting in Hardkore America, against a very accomplished wrestler in Adrian Tanner Jr. Tanner was very close at times to beating his stablemate, Kilroy Evans for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship in Las Vegas. Tonight, he tries to get back to America title contention by defeating Carson "Big Time" Parker.
Phil Blauer: Rumors are that he blew his knee out and could be done for the season.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Carson Palmer.
Phil Blauer: Check out NFL.com, asshole.
The Rose Garden house lights dim to black as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers. Then *BOOM!* A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames. When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down, dressed in red "metallic effect" shorts with "AT" in gold letters on each side and an open red "metalic effect" ring jacket with the same, along with black elbow and knee pads. Adrian begins his walk down the ramp slapping a couple hands on the way down. Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. In the ring, Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. is trying to keep some assemblance of The Un-Stable together. He'll team with Andrew Karnage in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament in Palm Springs, California.
Phil Blauer: With those two tag team specialists pairing up. Some people say it's like Arn Anderson teaming with Arn Anderson. Or Arn Anderson teaming with Ole Anderson, if Ole Anderson were to learn a move beyond the armbar.
Yolanda Ando: Adrian Tanner Jr. is wearing blue shorts with "AT" in shiny red lettering on the sides with black and elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds; He is The Current SWAT World Tag Team Champion...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
The crowd cheers while Tanner loosens up the ropes. "Big Timing" by Cash Money hits as the lights darken. Huge pyro go off and Carson Parker comes out and walks to the ring. He slides in the ring, hops onto the turnbuckle, raises his arms, then flips off and lands on his feet
Guillermo O'Bannon: Not much is known about Carson Parker other than he's a former USWF World Heavyweight Champion & USWF Tag Team Champion...
Phil Blauer: Obviously, "research" is a dirty word in Irish. He arrived at the University of Southern California in 1998 and immediately competed for the starting quarterback job with Mike Van Raaphorst. Van Raaphorst won, but in the ninth game of the season, Parker was named the starter, becoming only the second true freshman to ever start at quarterback for the USC Trojans.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's still Carson Palmer, Phil.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Yolanda Ando: Carson "Big Time" Parker short silver tights that say "Big Time" on each side. Which is convenient, because that's his name.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...CARSON 'BIG TIME' PARKER!!!"
The fans give him a polite reaction. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Adrian Tanner whacks into Parker's chest with some chops
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner backing Parker into the corner with a barrage of knife edge chops. Parker fires back with a few of his own, then smashes Tanner in the face with a pele kick!
The Portland crowd pops. Carson Parker goes for a doctor bomb, but Adrian Tanner reverses with a huracanrana
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner grabs Parker and drops him to the mat with a snap suplex. He twists his legs around to pick him up into a second one, and then a third!
Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes, but Carson reverses the flying body press into a powerslam
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker irish whips Tanner into the ropes and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker pulls Tanner upside down in a vertebreaker...he drills him headfirst!!
Carson Parker climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a shooting star press but just hits Adrian Tanner's knees
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker staggers around and Tanner takes him out with a dropkick. Adrian takes him down with an arm drag then grabs an armbar.
Tanner squeezes Parker's twisted arm, while Ron Reid asks him if he wants to submit. Parker shakes his head, and works his way back up to his feet. Tanner releases his arm and takes him down again, this time in a headlock
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner grinds his forearm into the side of Parker's face with that tight headlock. Parker rolls him up in a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner releases the headlock & kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base and Parker surprises him with a superkick! He grabs him in a german suplex and drops him on the back of his head!
Parker pulls Tanner up in a full nelson and dragon suplexes him. But he doesn't bridge, instead pulls him up into a straightjacket position
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker completes The ChimeraPlex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker pulls Tanner up in a fireman's carry. He walks into the center of the ring and drops him on his head with a cradle shock!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker runs into the ropes, but the veteran Tanner trips him up with a drop toe hold that slings Parker's throat into the second rope. He scoops Parker up and drops him in a backbreaker.
Tanner applies an STF on Parker. He pulls up on Parker's head while Carson claws at Tanner's arm, trying to escape. He reaches out for the ropes but Adrian has him smack dab in the middle of the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner gets a new grip and tries to tear Parker's head off with the STF. He releases it long enough to drop an elbow drop and then a knee into Parker's lower back.
Phil Blauer: Carson Parker's back isn't faring much better than his knee this season.
Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and waits for Parker to get to his feet. When he does, he comes off with a huracanrana but Parker reverses it into a doctor bomb
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker pulls Tanner's head into his legs and flips over into a canadian destroyer!!
The Portland crowd pops. Parker fireman's carries Tanner up on his shoulders and then walks him over to the corner. He drops Tanner on the turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker backflips into a moonsault fallaway slam!!
The Rose Garden cheers even louder. Parker applies a crippler crossface. He yanks up on Tanner's head & arm while Reid asks Tanner if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker locks his fingers together and cinches in the crossface even harder. Tanner rolls him over into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Parker releases the crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both Parker & Tanner are up to a vertical base. Tanner tries to kick Parker, but Carson catches his foot. Tanner swings around with an enzuigiri kick!
Adrian Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop. Carson Parker reverses with a tiger driver '91
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner claps his legs together on Parker's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner charges Parker and catches him with a tornado DDT! He scoops Parker up and drops him in another backbreaker, this time holding him against his knee in a submission.
Phil Blauer: The second generation star going to work on Carson Parker's back.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner pushes down on Parker's chin and knee, bending his spine across his knee. Parker reaches up and rakes Tanner's eyes to get out of the submission. He grabs Tanner by the jaw and drops down in an RKO!
Carson Parker climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press!! The fans pop again and Ron Reid slides over to make the count
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker half nelsons him, but Tanner elbows out of it. He reverse russian legsweeps Parker's face into the turnbuckle! He staggers out of the corner and Tanner catches him under the chin with The Daytripper superkick!
Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle and front flips into 450 legdrop
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Wake Up Call!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Parker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs up to the top rope for a moonsault, but Parker climbs up the ropes behind him. He hooks him up for a russian legsweep and then backflips into a C4!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker front facelocks him and lifts him up into an elevated DDT!! He lifts Tanner up in a fireman's carry then drops into a california roll!
Carson Parker half nelsons Tanner and drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex! He pulls Tanner up but Tanner does a go behind and german suplexes him
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Palmer rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner tosses Palmer over the top rope to the apron. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle then plucks Palmer off the apron with a huracanrana to the floor!!
The Rose Garden erupts as fans chant "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" Adrian Tanner climbs back up onto the apron. He gets a running start then shooting star presses Parker off the apron onto the floor!! The chants of "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner rolls Parker back into the ring and climbs to the top rope. He shooting star presses into a Fall From Grace frog splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Carson Parker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes but Big Time comes bounding back with a pounce! He lifts Tanner up and drives him into the mat with a uranage!
Parker kicks Tanner in the stomach and then runs into the ropes, he drives Tanner's face into the mat with a rocker dropper
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker chicken wings Tanner's arm and then bends him over his back with a crossface, The Stretch of the Truth!! Tanner's arm is gonna break unless he submits, and he does!
"Big Timing" by Cash Money plays and Carson Parker celebrates on the second turnbuckle
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 21 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...CARSON 'BIG TIME' PARKER!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker scores his first big win here in Hardkore America!
(Meanwhile, backstage...)
Rated X: I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. Champions left weeping, confused and helpless because they couldn’t figure out how to beat me. My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people. I’m the monster living under your bed. I'm the shadows you see you when you’re trying to maintain. I’ll wrap a chair around your head and call you my million dollar baby, tac your ass to the wall so long they’ll call you Spiderman. King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me. I train days like The Shootfighter.
Rated X: My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people. Bleeding is fundamental and I can tell by the smell that your weed ain’t shit. Andrew Karnage is bumpy like Hunglstein’s pants at a showing of Brokeback Mountain. I can’t wait to put the boots to your store bought muscles and your spray on tan. You’re soft like a cookie poppin’ fresh from the oven. I’ll use you like LuJo’s moms you fucking cum dumpster. Nothing is on the line, but after tonight I own you Karnage.
Rated X: Fuck it, I’m a dick. Let me leak the finish to the net: Karnage, from the top rope, head first through a flaming bag of shit sitting on a steel chair. It’s time to make Portland hot like Palm Springs is. My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is Andrew Sinclair vs. Jay St.Clair.
Phil Blauer: The match so nice they named it twice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair has not been in the best of moods since James Fierce upset him for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in his first title defense in Las Vegas. Tonight, he hopes to get back on track in a match with newcomer Jay St. Clair. Jay St. Clair has been making his bones over in SWAT Rocky Mountains as of late. It could be a case of who wants it more, as St.Clair's debut in Hardkore America could make him the hungrier of the two.
Every light in The Rose Garden is turned off as the facility is plunged into darkness. Then slowly, the opening chords of “Nothing But a Good Time” by Poison start to play. At 00:15, when the music starts to pick up, a burst of pyro goes off which is then followed by Orange and Black strobe lights flashing through the arena. This continues until the song hits 00:34 at which point the lights return to normal and out steps “Sexxxy” Jay St. Clair as he pushes the curtains aside.
“Now listen
Not a dime I can't pay my rent
I can barely make it thru the week”
He stands at the top of the ramp for a few seconds eyeing the crowd very carefully before throwing both his arms in the air in an “X” type fashion to which the crowd either roars or boos.
“Saturday night I like to make my girl
But right now I can't make ends meet”
He flashes us that million dollar smirk and then begins his strut down the rampway. Some of the women and sadly men start to cat-call the sexy one as he passes by them without a care in the world.
“I'm always workin', slavin' everyday
Gotta get a breaK From that same old, same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say”
He steps up onto the steel steps and wipes his feet on the apron before entering through the middle rope and doing the ol’ Rick Rude taunt where he puts his hands behind his head and twirls his hips. That alone receives a groundbreaking reaction from the crowd as roses and rolls of toilet paper are thrown in the ring.
“Don't need Nothin' But A Good Time
How can I resist
Ain't looking for Nothin' But A Good Time
And it don't get better than this”
After that, he removes his robe and hands it off to his entourage before climbing the middle rope and doing the “X” pose again. He then jumps off and awaits Andrew Sinclair
Phil Blauer: Wow, Poison as a theme song! I like this guy already.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's not to like? He recently won a Kings Court Battle Royale at the Centrum Arena Cedar City, Utah by eliminating Alexander Delvecchio in SWAT Rocky Mountains. Then in November he defeated Bad Boy King Kong in a singapore cane match.
Phil Blauer: Wow. When did beating Kong become an accomplishment?
Yolanda Ando: Jay St. Clair wears an Orange and Dark Blue silk robe running down to the ankles. Under that he wears black vinyl pants with two white stripes running down both legs. On the left leg, it spells “JAY” going down in between the stripes and the same is done for the right leg except it says “XXX”.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Sin City; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...'SEXXXY' JAY ST.CLAIR!!!"
The audience gives him a mixed reaction, with mostly cheers from women. Then "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones plays and Andrew Sinclair walks down to the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: One of the tag teams I can't wait to see in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament is Andrew Sinclair teaming up with "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. Those two are gonna be tough to beat. Sinclair also has his rematch for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship against the winner of the Robert Hunglestien III & James Fierce at Palm Springs Punishment 2006. But none of that matters tonight, all that matters for Andrew Sinclair is getting through "Sexxxy" Jay St.Clair.
Phil Blauer: But you still have to watch out for that clothesline.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Sinclair wears a knee-length black and white Kobashi-style velvet robe. He also wears a black head band that trails down to his waist. Under that he wears wears black bicycle-short-style wrestling trunks that have a stylized white revolver emblazoned across the ass.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent hails from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...'THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER' GONZO SINCLAIR!!!"
The fans boo Sinclair, as he stretches the ropes, ignoring them
Phil Blauer: I think the fans are letting him have it for vacating the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles he held with The Un-Stable. They have a special place in their hearts for those six man titles.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair whacks Sinclair in the chest with some hard knife edge chops. Sinclair fires back with some elbow smashes to St. Clair's face!
St.Clair ducks under one of the elbows and applies an abdominal stretch. He sticks his foot, and pulls back on Andrew Sinclair's arm causing him great pain
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair leans back on the abdominal stretch but no getting a submission out of Sinclair this early. So he rolls him up in a school boy cradle!
Phil Blauer: His feet are on the ropes!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair goes for a DDT but Sinclair reverses it into a fireman's carry. He runs into the center of the ring and drops him on his noggin with a death valley driver!!
Andrew Sinclair rebounds into the ropes and rolls into a koppo kick! He irish whips him but St.Clair reverses the whip and shoots him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair spinebusters Sinclair hard into the mat! He pulls Sinclair up and grabs him in a bearhug.
Phil Blauer: If anyone has to get a refill on their beer or anything. Now would be the time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Never thought you'd ask! I'll be right back.
Phil Blauer: (calling after Guillermo) Wait! Wait! Don't leave, I don't know how to...uh, (taps his mic) Hello? Ok, let's give this a whirl. Uh, as Guillermo said, Jay St.Clair has him in a bighug type thingy.
Sinclair tries to punch his way out of it, but Jay St.Clair hangs on tight. He applies pressure to his lower back. Sinclair rakes his eyes and St.Clair finally drops him
Phil Blauer: Jay St.Clair begins kicking Sinclair in his lower back. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Shit, this is easy. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick....
Guillermo O'Bannon: (brings back three sloshing plastic cups of beer) What I miss?
Phil Blauer: Me carrying your overrated ass once again.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair landing some stiff kicks to Sinclair's back. He pulls him up and goes for a suplex, but Sinclair blocks it with his calf. He reverses it with a uranage!
He flips St.Clair across the ring with a karelin lift! He drops a standing headbutt in between St.Clair's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair rolls out of the way of a kneedrop. He rolls Sinclair up in an inside cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair irish whips Sinclair into the ropes, and drops him facefirst in a flapjack!
The women in The Rose Garden scream for Jay St.Clair as he stomps the back of Andrew Sinclair's head repeatedly. He lifts Sinclair up in an electric chair
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair drops back in an ocean cyclone suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair irish whips Sinclair to the ropes. He dips down for a backdrop, but Sinclair blocks it and counters with a guillotine choke! Sinclair squeezes up on St.Clair's throat with the front facelock while contricting his body with those powerful legs.
St.Clair tries to get his fingers in between Sinclair's arm but no luck. The Straight Shooter clamps down on his opponent's windpipe while Mike Peters checks to see if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair gets back up to his feet and punches his way out of the guillotine choke. He lifts Sinclair up in a suplex, then drops his feet on the top rope to hit a slingshot falcon arrow!! What a manuever!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
The audience applauds the slingshot falcon arrow, while St.Clair tries to catch his breath. Andrew Sinclair gets up and tags Jay in the chest with a soccer kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair irish whips St.Clair into the ropes and catches him under the chin with a flying kneelift!
The crowd boos while Sinclair raises his fist and shouts "OH!" He climbs to the top turnbuckle, but St. Clair shakes the ropes and crotches him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair climbs to the second turnbuckle and lifts him up in a fireman's carry. He samoan drops Sinclair off the top rope!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair shoots Sinclair into the ropes and spins into a discus lariot!
Phil Blauer: It reminds me of a Popeye move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair gets tripped up by a sambo takedown, and then Andrew Sinclair capitalizes with an achilles heel hold! He stands over St.Clair leaning back with his ankle in his arms.
St.Clair refuses to quit, even when Andrew Sinclair wraps his legs around St.Clair's leg and drops to the mat. Jay St.Clair reaches out and grabs the rope and Peters forces Sinclair to release the achilles hold
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair nods his head to Peters, and yanks St.Clair by the leg to the center of the ring. He drops back into a hizajujigatame kneebar!
Phil Blauer: In Las Vegas, James Fierce worked down Sinclair's arm for much of the match. This loss could have reminded Sinclair to stay on track with his mat style. Or not. I'm just riffin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair wrenches up on St.Clair's leg, trying to break it at the knee. St.Clair is clutching his hair, in total agony but will not submit!
The ladies in the audience clap faster & faster, trying to root St.Clair on. But Andrew Sinclair has the hizajujigatame locked in. Sinclair releases the kneebar and waits for St.Clair to sit up
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair runs into the ropes and smashes St.Clair in the face with a Caution: Do Not Stop on the Tracks knee to the face!!
A couple ladies get pretty mad at Andrew Sinclair screaming "Not the face!" He turns around and steps on the second rope, asking them if they wanna step in the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair limps up from behind and drops Sinclair with an orton backbreaker!
Phil Blauer: Jay St.Clair has been going to the lower back like McDonald's goes to the McRib.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair applies a full nelson, jerking Sinclair around the ring from side to side. He links his fingers together and presses Sinclair's chin into his chest.
Mike Peters asks Andrew Sinclair if he wants to submit. He shakes his head as best he can. St.Clair changes the full nelson into an inverted russian legsweep
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gonorrhea!!
Phil Blauer: Ahh!!! Where? I got it from you?!? You know you can't trust those free clinics baby, they're all out to hate on a player's game.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's the name of the move, Phil.
Phil Blauer: I knew that. Fuckin clinics.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair goes for a suplex, but Sinclair blocks it by wrapping his leg around St.Clair's. He reverses it with a vertical suplex of his own and then drops his face on Sinclair's knee!! Go To the ER!!
Sinclair smirks at the newfound boos he has, and climbs to the top rope. He drops a kneedrop in between St.Clair's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bombs Away!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jay St.Clair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair scoops St.Clair up and drills him on his head with a northern lights bomb!! Instead of hooking the leg, he pushes St.Clair up into a sitting position, and flips over into a cattle mutilation! The Straight Shot!!
Mike Peters asks St.Clair if he wants to submit. He checks his options, then submits. Peters signals for the bell, and "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones fills The Rose Garden
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, 'THE STRAIGHT SHOOTER' GONZO SINCLAIR!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gets a little momentum going into his Palm Springs Punishment 2006 Main Event!
Phil Blauer: But Jay St.Clair showed us something as well. His Gonorrhea!
Sinclair raises his arm and walks down the aisle
**commercial**
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HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
Matt Boone: (with his Andrew Karnage action figure) I said ALL the cracks!
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BROUGHT TO YOU BY ANABOLOPLEX, A SUBSIDIARY OF GENETICORP. MAY CAUSE BLOATING, CONSTIPATION, IRRITATION, PROCRASTINATION, MASTERBATION, YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE ANABOLOPLEX IF YOU'RE PREGNANT OR TRYING TO GET PREGNENT. MAY CAUSE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND DILLUSIONS OF GRANDURE IN SOME.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match, I've been waiting for all night. Andrew Karnage gets his shot at Rated X, a man who's harder to beat then the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. If anyone can do it, it's the AK-47.
Andrew Karnage walks down to the ring with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship strapped around his waist. He slaps a few hands on the way down the aisle but seems very focused
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage is coming off a six month tag team title reign with Robert Hunglestien III, something rare in today's Hardkore America. But Hunglestien left their team, but had the decency not to attack his partner doing it. Something else that's pretty rare these days.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of rare, where's the tunes, man? No lyrics about the darkness of my mind while we go through every motion he makes down to the ring? What a jip.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Karnage wears some black knee length basketball shorts with AK-47 down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...ANDREW KARNAGE!!!"
The crowd cheers. Karnage jogs in place. "Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot plays and the place goes absolutely nuts. Andrew Karnage warns Ron Reid of all the things Rated X does. Rated X steps through the curtain with his dinged up bloody steel chair with a white "X" painted across the seat
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Rated X! You can hardly here yourself think in here.
Phil Blauer: My doctor's advised me that loud noises can irreperably damage my hair.
Yolanda Ando: Rated X is wearing some black trunks, black boots and his signature black mask with a white X on it. His chest, arms, and back are covered in Yakuza style tattoos.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is from Parts Unknown, Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...RATED X!!!"
The crowd rocks The Rose Garden as Rated X holds his chair up in the air. Ron Reid signals for the bell
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X lays into Andrew Karnage with some chops! He does a few overhand chops to Karnage's face & head!
Rated X rocks Karnage against the ropes with a chop. He backs up and charges Karnage, but AK-47 belly to belly suplexes him over the ropes to the floor below
Phil Blauer: It's getting Outside the Perimeter of Extreme!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Trying out new catch phrases, sir?
Phil Blauer: Commentating is a living breathing thing, Matthew.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage climbs out of the ring, but Rated X rakes his eyes. X grabs him by the hair and smashes his face into the corner post!!
Andrew Karnage begins bleeding, as he leans against the ringpost. Rated X grabs his X Chair and smashes Karnage's sandwhiched head with it
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs Karnage in a headlock, and running bulldogs his throat on the guardrail!!
Rated X's feet kick a fan in the face on the way over the railing. X tries to pull Karnage over the security fence, but Karnage flips him over the guardrail onto the floor with an exploder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage double underhooks Rated X's arms and drops his head on the concrete with a Tiger Buster!!
Andrew Karnage irish whips Rated X but X reverses it and shoots Karnage into the guardrail! Rated X grabs the timekeeper's bell off of Ron De La O's table
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X charges Karnage against the railing and smashes him in the face with a timekeeper's bell!
Phil Blauer: And Karnage is Brained by the Bell!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Good one, sir.
Rated X drops the bell and DDTs Andrew Karnage's face on the timekeeper's bell!! Karnage rolls over with a broken nose and blood streaming down his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: He takes that X Chair and places it over Andrew Karnage's throat, choking him with the bottom rung.
Phil Blauer: Do chairs have rungs?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage kicking his feet out from a lack of oxygen. He grabs the bottom of the chair and uses that brute strength to push the top of the chair up into Rated X's chin! Andrew Karnage head & arm suplexes Rated X's back into the apron!
Rated X clutches his back while Andrew Karnage checks his nose. He rolls Rated X up onto the apron and climbs up himself. Karnage fireman's carries X up onto his shoulders
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage running death valley drivers Rated X off the apron to the floor below!!
The Portland crowd cheers and chants "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Andrew Karnage german suplexes the back of Rated X's head into apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage dragon suplexes Rated X on the floor!! He pulls him up into a straightjacket and nails him with The Pride Cycle in the aisleway!
Andrew Karnage pulls a table out from underneath the ring and sets it up in the corner of the guardrail. He irish whips Rated X but he reverses it and shoots Andrew Karnage into the table
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage breaks some of that table with his shoulder. Rated X hits him with some more of those blunt chops, chasing Karnage up the rampway. Their now exchanging chops and punches on the top of the ramp. Rated X scoops Karnage up and fallaway slams him off the ramp into the 24th row of fans!!!
The crowd scatters like roaches when the light comes on as Karnage crashes into a few rows of seating! The fans chant "RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!!" Rated X hops down and then lifts Karnage up in a human torture rack
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X drives Andrew Karnage's head onto the seat of one of those standing chairs with a Palm Springs Driver!! He grabs a fan by the head and DDTs him on Karnage's broken nose!!
Karnage clutches his nose, and bleeds all over The Rose Garden floor. Rated X climbs to the top of the rampway again. Karnage gets up and grabs him by the arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage flips Rated X off the ramp into an owendriver iconoclasm on the concrete!!
Phil Blauer: It's how Owen Hart would have liked to have broken Steve Austin's neck, if he had to do it all over again.
The fans cheer and chant "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Karnage rolls him onto the rampway. Andrew Karnage climbs onto the ramp, and scoops him up on his shoulder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage running powerslams Rated X through the curtain into the backstage area!!
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage learning Rated X's style of match and improving on it! He's like a Super Computer. (turns around to the audience) No one play chess with it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage tiger suplexes Rated X in the gorilla position! X has a long history of neck problems that have forced him to retire twice.
Rated X rolls around, clutching the back of his neck. Karnage pulls him up and pushes him up against the wall. He cracks him in the face with several stiff forearms across his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: That last forearm drops Rated X on his ass. Andrew Karnage twists the bottom of his boot against X's face a few times.
Phil Blauer: Excellent strategy. Rated X has elected to wear a mask in this match so as to render the Facewash useless. It's like his entire career has been for this very moment.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: We're a part of history, sir.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X smashes in the glass case with the firehose in it. He pulls out the fire hose, grabs the metal hose nossle and cracks Karnage on the top of the head with it!
Karnage clutches the top of his head. Rated X wraps the fire hose around Karnage's neck, but Karnage tosses the back of his head into Rated X's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage t-bone suplexes Rated X into a locker!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: If it's my locker, pay no attention to the muscle magazines. I just read them for the articles.
Karnage pulls Rated X up, but Rated X rams him into a Coke machine! X bulldogs Karnage's head into the soda machine over & over until a few cokes & Dr.Pepper fall out
Phil Blauer: Dibs!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X opens up a coke and pours it over Karnage's head.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: The mixture of soda, sweat, and blood make for a gruesome if not delicious mixture.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X crushes the can on Karnage's head and then tears the can in half. He uses the shredded can to cut into Karnage's face & forehead with the sharp aluminum.
The screams of Karnage are echoing through the quiet halls of The Rose Garden. Rated X tries to piledrive him but Karnage reverses it into an alabama slammer onto the locker room bench
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage gut wrenches Rated X up on his shoulder and uses his head to open the backstage door! He walks a few steps and then ligerbombs Rated X on the steps to the Rose Garden!!
A few fans and hangers on react with surprise as this match spills out to the wrestler's parking lot. Karnage sets Rated X up in a russian legsweep on the steps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage & Rated X backflip into an air raid crash off the steps onto the asphalt!!
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage giving Rated X a more brutal match than he's had since he returned to wrestling. This harkens back to Cyrus vs. Rated X or Rated X vs...uh, I don't know, did he fight Sean Hawk?
Rated X rolls around clutching his knee. Andrew Karnage pulls him up by the mask and irish whips him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X reverses the irish whip and shoots Andrew Karnage into our production truck!!
Karnage leaves a large blood smear on the white production van. Rated X grabs a hold of his bloody hair and draws an X on the side of the van
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X stomping Andrew Karnage's head in the parking lot like when Phil tried to sneak into Cirque De Soleil.
Phil Blauer: That sad clown is quick with the back of his hand.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage onto the hood of Bad Boy King Kong's Ford Festiva. He pulls him up in a front facelock and DDT's his skull through the windshield!!
Rated X drags Andrew Karnage onto the roof of the Ford Festiva. He pulls Karnage's head into his legs then piledrives Karnage's skull through the top of that roof
Phil Blauer: Bad Boy King Kong had just made his last payment!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage hits X low! He pulls X into his legs and black tigerbombs him from the roof of the Ford Festiva onto the hood!!
Rated X screams in agony, and rolls off of the hood onto the asphalt. Andrew Karnage pulls him up and drags him over to the steps. He lifts him up and dangerous backdrop suplexes him on the concrete steps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls him up the stairs and back into the backstage door, but Rated X pops him in the face with a sharp back elbow.
Rated X grabs the mandatory giant mounted portrait of Hardkore Jonnie Valentine on the wall
Phil Blauer: Hey, I painted that!
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's a photograph, Phil.
Phil Blauer: No, see the little mustache and devil horns?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X smashes Karnage over the head with that picture!! He goes over to the craft services table...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Not my fried pretzel bites! I was letting them marinate in drawn butter!
X grabs a fork and stabs it in Andrew Karnage's arm! Over & over he plunges the kitchen utensil into Karnage's bicep. Rated X then grabs a cheese grater
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X DDTs Karnage on a cheese grater!!
Phil Blauer: Ew, why do we even have that thing?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Jonnie likes the cheese on his pepperoni & crackers to be freshly grated. Anything else gets you a kick in the nuts, and road trip with The Shootfighter. Try changing the radio when that guy's listening to Heart.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs a pizza cutter and goes for Karnage, but he backs the masked man off with a couple of stiff forearms. He gets behind Rated X and applies a kataha-jime on him. He liquifies our craft services table with The Lobotomy Suplex!!
Rated X is covered in ranch dressing. Karnage pulls him up by the mask and drags him through the curtain. He half nelsons Rated X and grabs him by the leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage wrist-clutch fisherman’s busters Rated X on the rampway!!
The crowd cheers wildly, partly because it's the first time in six minutes they've been able to actually see the match. A blood drenched Andrew Karnage pulls a ranch dressing drenched Rated X up by the mask again and rolls him back into the ring. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage flies off the top with a gran hamada headbutt to Rated X's temple!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage grabs X's leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab! He leans back while standing on the back of Rated X's head.
Ron Reid checks in to see if Rated X wants to tap out but he refuses. He then says "Ron! Ron! Whatever your thinking of doing...don't" But Ron can't help himself and runs a finger down X's back and licks the ranch dressing
Phil Blauer: Wether it's the pain or the disgust of Ron eating off him, Rated X powers out of the half crab!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage thinks X tapped and argues with Ron Reid.
Phil Blauer: He can't hear nothin', he's in ranch bliss!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X sneaks up behind him and cradles him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men back up to a vertical base, and Karnage grabs Rated X by the throat!
The fans cheer as Rated X tries to talk his way out of this. Karnage lifts him up in a chokeslam and then drives him down onto his knee in a backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Choke-breaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs two handfuls of Andrew Karnage's blood soaked hair and pulls his head down in front of him. He kicks Karnage in the face repeatedly!
Phil Blauer: Rated X is going to his happy place!
After the last kick, Karnage seems to pass out to his side. Rated X rolls out of the ring and retrieves his X Chair. He slides it into the ring and sets it up in the center
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X hangman neckbreakers the back of Karnage's head on the back of that X Chair!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring, but Karnage is up and crotches X on the turnbuckle, facing the audience. He climbs up behind Rated X and sits behind him, wrapping his legs around the ropes. Andrew Karnage applies a kataha-jime to Rated X and falls backward into a spider suplex called The Black Market Lobotomy!!
The Rose Garden erupts and a dueling chant starts of "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Karnage hangs upside down in the corner, bleeding a puddle of blood underneath his head & stabbed arm
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage steps over Rated X's leg and applies an STF!!
Phil Blauer: It's shoot style vs. garbage style! The fight we've been waiting for since Mr. Pogo & The Headhunters ditched Dan Severn at the Cherry Hill Mall!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage trying to tear Rated X's head off, and let the pounding both men took in that parking lot pay off with Rated X's second tap out of his career!
The crowd continues to chant "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Meanwhile Ron Reid repeatedly asks Rated X if he wants to submit
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage releases the STF and pulls him up for a russian legsweep. Rated X gets loose and blasts Karnage in his broken nose with an elbow smash. He grabs hold of the X Chair and bends the frame on Karnage's skull!!
The Portland fans erupt as the sound of Karnage's unprotected chair shot rings through The Rose Garden. Rated X slides a table into the ring and leans it against the turnbuckles
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X pulls Karnage up and running powerbombs him through the table in the corner!! He cradles the leg and Reid makes the count!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X sits on Andrew Karnage's chest and places his thumbs against either side of Karnage's large laceration over his eye. He spreads Karnage's cut as wide as he can....ew...ew...ew...take a wide shot, Mann!
Rated X drives a couple of elbow shots to Karnage's cut to open it even wider. Karnage rolls Rated X off his chest into a sunset flip
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rated X claps his legs on Andrew Karnage's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage lifts Rated X up and drops him like a bag of hammers with a stiff sambo suplex!
Andrew Karnage applies a crippler crossface with Rated X's other arm chicken winged behind him. Rated X screams bloody murder but shakes his head when Reid asks if he quits
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage has The Pain Killer EX locked in perfectly!
Phil Blauer: What's the EX about? Has the AK-47 been hurt before? Is that really Rated X he's trying to maim, or someone who dared talked about his shrivled raisins of love?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls up on Rated X's head & arm while bending that other arm up towards his head.
Phil Blauer: The former Hardkore World Champion should find a way out of this quickly or figure out how to jerk off with his feet.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pulls him up by the mask and scoops him up. He swings him around into a catatonic backbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage thinks he has this thing won again, but Ron Reid explaining to him about the rope rule.
Phil Blauer: You'd think he'd know that one by now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs two handfuls of Andrew Karnage's hair and tosses him through the ropes to the guardrail!! X climbs out into the front row of the audience, then rude awakenings the back of Karnage's head into the railing!
The sound of Karnage's head ringing off that security rail rings through The Rose Garden. Rated X sets up a table next to the apron while the dueling chant starts back up. "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage onto the apron. He gets up there with him and scoops AK-47 up. He runs down the apron and tombstone piledrives Karnage through the table on the floor!!
The older fans drown out the younger ones with "RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!!" Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage into the ring and splits his head open with heel kicks and stomps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage spits a black mist into Rated X's eyes!!
Phil Blauer: Who does he think he is? Matthew?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yes, sir?
Phil clutches his throat and then sprays a green mist in Boone's eyes. He shrieks and covers his eyes, blinded. Blauer, then gives the camera the "one moment" sign and spits a yellow mist in Boone's eyes. Boone screams even louder
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: WHY??? WHY???
Yolanda Ando: Very nice, Phil. Where'd you learn that?
Phil Blauer: I was imbedded with The Great Kabuki during his run from Great Muta's mother for child support.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X staggering around blinded, and Andrew Karnage runs into the ropes. He flips Rated X over in a Nightmare Lariot!!
It's deafening in The Rose Garden as Rated X flips him over and makes the cover
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X gets his foot on the ropes)
Phil Blauer: Again, Rated X is saved by the ropes! Give them the assist.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage applies a giant octopus! He presses Rated X's head down with those powerful legs, while twisting & stretching every concievable muscle X has.
Ron Reid asks him if he wants to tap but X only has the strength to shake his head "no". Rated X gets loose and hiptosses Andrew Karnage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X inverted facelocks Andrew Karnage and lifts him up & over in The Black Out!! A tribute to his feud with Cyrus Williams!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kicks out)
The audience gives a standing ovation for such an outstanding match. The fans start up the "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X picks up his chair, but Karnage bounces into the ropes and yakuza kicks the chair into Rated X's face!! He steps over karnage's back and applies a cobra clutch camel clutch! The Sphynx Clutch!!
Ron Reid asks Rated X if he wants to submit but he shakes his head no. The Portland fans continue to chant "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Karnage leans back with Rated X's head & arm, rocking back on his spine
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (clutching his eyes) Why isn't anyone doing anything?!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage realizes he's not gonna get the man to tap out twice in his career and lets him fall limper to the mat then sex with Phil with no rope around his neck. He lifts Rated X up in a vertical suplex then drops him in his Karnage Crush Bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X claps his legs together on Karnage's head)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage goes for a Whiplash Spinebuster, but Rated X rolls over into a sunset flip!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage claps his legs together on Rated X's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X pulls Karnage's head into his legs and lifts him up into a swinging powerbomb on the seat of his X Chair!!
Karnage sits in the steel chair, bleeding down his front. Rated X lifts him up in a human torture rack, then flips him over headfirst into a burning hammer
Guillermo O'Bannon: Palm Springs Driver!! Rated X rolls out of the ring and pulls a strand of barbed wire out from underneath the ring.
Phil Blauer: If you value your dry cleaning, run!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (blinded) What? What's happening! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls into the ring and sits on Andrew Karnage's back. He wraps the barbed wire around Andrew Karnage's neck and applies a barbed wire camel clutch!!!
The Portland crowd gasps as Rated X rocks back with the strand of the barbed wire. Blood streams down Karnage's neck, and his eyes roll into the back of his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: This was the old finisher of Ghandi the Butcher, former rival of Rated X back in 1996! Ron Reid lifts Karnage's arm but he's passed out from blood loss!
Ron Reid signals for the bell and "Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot blares throughout The Rose Garden. The crowd blows up, giving Rated X the biggest pop of the night. Kilroy Evans and Adrian Tanner Jr. runs down to the ring to help EMTs give Karnage some medical attention
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 53 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...RATED X!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X defeats Andrew Karnage in a match of the year candidate tonight! He goes back to Palm Springs where he teams up with Soutter in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. Karnage is headed there as well, with his partner Adrian Tanner Jr.
Kilroy Evans can't stand what Rated X did to his longtime partner and hits him with a diamond cutter
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits The Bad Touch on Rated X!!
Kilroy points in Rated X's unconcious face and gives him a talking to. Adrian Tanner Jr. helps the EMTs load Andrew Karnage onto the stretcher
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable helps Karnage to the back after this helacious night where Rated X scores a huge win in his comeback!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is the first ever Conneticut Chain Match.
Phil Blauer: How does it differ from the Russian Chain Match?
Guillermo O'Bannon: The chain is from Conneticut.
Suddenly, Fear Factory's "Archetype" blasts through the speakers and the fans jump to their feet in anticipation of their hero's arrival. Three seconds into the song, violently loud pyros are projected into the air and huge letters in neon lights flash near the entrance. It reads: PPB. Then, a muscular silhouette walks beneath the giant P near the entrance and stands between the huge pyrotechnics. The stranger is now raising both of his arms up as if he were victorious. It is Platinum Pat Bozzini. Numerous strobes of different colors are beaming inside of the squared circle and over the fans as if the arena was a discotheque. Platinum adjusts his right elbow pad and then, he proceeds to get up on the ring apron and he jumps over the top rope to enter the ring in an athletic way. Platinum climbs on the nearest turnbuckle and points toward himself while screaming that he is the best. He quickly raises his arms again with an air of superiority. He takes off his shirt and prepares himself for battle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pat had a successful Hardkore Debut in Las Vegas, defeating another UCW alum, Legacy. Then at the Gwinnett Center in Georgia, Pat and his brother, John recently lost a tough match to "The Saviour of Professional Wrestling" David Sadler & Lee Williams. Later on in that show they attacked R.C. & Dieudonne Cloutier.
Phil Blauer: Oooh, French Canadian fight. I wonder what it was over? Did someone insult someone elses pea soup?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (checks his index cards) I lost the one with the angle on it, so sure. After tonight, he goes on to Palm Springs, California where he teams with "The Sensational" Shawn Styles in the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. But tonight he focuses on dragging Sun across all four corners of this ring.
Yolanda Ando: Bozzini is wearing tight and long tights which are black on one leg and silver/gold on the other leg. "Platinum" is written on one leg in platinum and has a roaring Cerberus in platinum on the side of the other leg. Red droplets of blood can be seen surrounding the different symbols on both legs. On the back of his tights, it is written "The Feature Presentation" in black.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Conneticut Chain Match. The match can only end when one wrestler tags all four corners. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 225 pounds; He is The Current UCW Triple Crown World Champion...'PLATINUM' PAT BOZZINI!!!"
The fans give him a mixed reaction. "Thesis of a Cruel Angel" by Yoko Takahashi plays and the Portland fans go wild. Sun walks out, swinging the chain over his head, mistakenly taking out Phil on the way down to the ring
Phil Blauer: My eye! Mother of God!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun lost a close match to "The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi in Vegas last month. If not for the help JoJo got from his father & midget counterpart, we would be looking at a new Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion.
Phil Blauer: Why are you just sitting there?? My eye is hanging out of my skull!!!
Yolanda Ando: Sun is wearing a yellow martial arts gi and a “vega” style mask. The Mask is white with a red dot in the center mimicking the Japanese Flag. He wears two Shuko Ninja Claws on each hands and carries a bag of Martial Arts weapons.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is from Cheshire, Connecticut; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 190 pounds...SUN!!!"
The audience cheers wildly. Mike Peters straps the chain to "Platinum" Pat Bozzini's wrist and signals for the bell
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls him in by the chain and wheel kicks Pat in the face!
Pat clutches his face and complains to Mike Peters. Meanwhile Sun is wrapping the chain around his fist
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun swings at him with that chain, but Bozzini ducks underneath. He folds Sun like an accordian with a release tigerplex!
Bozzini picks him up for a back suplex but Sun flips behind him onto his feet. He wraps the chain around his fist again, and bashes Bozzini in the face with a spinning punch!! Bozzini falls to the mat, busted open
Phil Blauer: The match is younger than Gary Glitter's bedpost notches but we already have some juice!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun runs into the ropes and flips Bozzini over in a flying head scissors! Bozzini gets back to his feet and grabs hold of the chain. He whips the chain, and Sun, across the ring by the arm!
Sun staggers up to his feet, and Bozzini swings him to the other side of the ring by the chain. Sun gets up while Bozzini tightens the chain around his wrist and flips Sun to the mat with it again
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pat Bozzini full nelsons him and drops him to the mat with a perfectly executed release dragon suplex he calls the Platinum 99-plex!
Pat Bozzini climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Sun grabs the chain and pulls him off the ropes to the mat below! Sun walks up behind him and wraps the chain around Sun's throat
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun choking Bozzini with that Conneticut Chain around his neck! He sticks his knee in Pat's back, and pulls back with the chain, turning Pat's neck beet red.
Mike Peters looks on helplessly, but asks Sun to lighten up. Sun pulls a bloody Bozzini up and irish whips him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun nearly takes Bozzini's head off with a big boot!
The crowd erupts! Sun spins his hand and cups his hand to his ear, and the Portland fans cheer louder. He runs into the ropes and drops the big leg across "Platinum" Pat Bozzini's face. Sun gets up and has a large blood smear staining his yellow gui pant leg
Phil Blauer: One big reason Hogan didn't wear pants until his knees became too embarrassing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun tags a turnbuckle! He walks over to the other corner and tags the second one.
Fans: "TWO!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun tries to get to the third corner but Pat is pulling back on the chain. He yanks Sun back into him by the chain into a full nelson. He drops backwards into a russian legsweep!
Pat Bozzini pulls Sun's head into his legs and then lifts him up in a styles clash, he spins around a little for effect, and then drops down the Symphony of Sorrow
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Platinum" Pat Bozzini butterflies Sun's arms and then tosses him across the ring with a double underhook suplex!
Bozzini half nelsons Sun, and lifts him up into a t-bone suplex, then drops it into a michinoku driver II
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Crystal Drop!! Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's wrist a few times and drags him to the first turnbuckle.
Fans shout "ONE!" Bozzini walks to the second corner and tags the turnbuckle and the crowd screams in unison "TWO!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini drags Sun to the third corner and slaps the turnbuckle.
Phil Blauer: According to my calculations, one more and Bozzini is Conneticut State Cruiserweight Champion! They're rough calculations.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun puts the brakes on! He wraps the chain around his fist and smashes Bozzini in the face with it again!!
The crowd leaps to their feet as Bozzini spins around the ring, blood streaming down his face like a fountain. Sun bounces into the ropes and pops Pat in the back of the head with an axe kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls Bozzini's head into his legs and drives his mug into the mat with a facefirst piledriver! Bozzini's left a large blood stain on the canvas.
Phil Blauer: I'm not cleaning that up. Matthew?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'm on it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wait till the match is over, Boone. Sun applies an abdominal stretch. He plants his foot and pulls back on Bozzini's arm, straining his side.
Sun grabs the chain and uses it to punch Bozzini's side over & over. Sun turns it into a double arm DDT
Phil Blauer: There's another blood stain. I'd give style points if Sun wrote my name with Bozzini's face.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun handsprings into a bodyface but Bozzini catches him and drops him into a backbreaker. He inverted facelocks Sun, but Sun reaches up and scratches Bozzini's eyes to escape! He bounces into the ropes and drops Bozzini with a bicycle kick!
The Portland audience applauds the exchange. Sun sits Bozzini on the top turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini grabs a few links of chain and smashes Sun in the face with some stiff closed fists! Sun drops to the ring below with a large laceration over his eye! Bozzini finds his footing and catches Sun right on the botton with a dropkick off the top rope!!
The crowd applauds both men as they lie next to one another, exhausted and bleeding. Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's throat while pulling his arm behind him in a chicken wing
Phil Blauer: Pat Bozzini with a chicken wing chainface! It's like a crossface with half the effort. Like anything Christian does.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini trying to crush Sun's throat with that long steel chain, meanwhile he tries to break his arm with the hammerlock.
Phil Blauer: Is it something he said?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini yanks on that chain, pressing the links into Sun's windpipe. Sun gets to his feet, grabs onto the chain and flips Bozzini over his shoulder! He monkey flips Pat Bozzini across the ring!
The Rose Garden comes alive! Sun grabs the chain and clotheslines Bozzini with it!! He sits him up and wraps the chain around Bozzini's neck. Sun flips over Bozzini's shoulder, pulling his head towards his legs
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun handsprings into a splash but Bozzini puts his knees up into his stomach. He pulls Sun into his legs, he lifts him up into a cradle piledriver and then sits down into the Priceless Driver!!
The impact sits a bloody Sun up before he falls back down. Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's neck and falls behind him in a choke. He pulls back on the chain as Sun fruitlessly grasps for the ropes as blood runs into his eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini trying to strangle Sun with that chain so it'll be easy to drag his dead carcas to all four corners.
Phil Blauer: When did this stop being a sport?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini double underhooks Sun's arms again, lifting him up into a spinning brainbuster he calls The Brain Storm!!
Sun lies on the mat, bleeding a basketball sized pool of blood next to him. Pat Bozzini pulls Sun up and back suplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini wraps the chain around his forearm but Sun ducks underneath The Technicality and answer with The Roundhouse Kick!
The fans cheer. Sun vaults over the ropes onto the apron. He pulls onto the top rope and slingshots himself over it onto Bozzini with a splash
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun sticks his knees into Bozzini's back and rolls him up into a bow & arrow, with the chain around Pat's throat! He uses that unforgiving chain to pull his head back while pulling his legs as well.
Bozzini cries out in agony as his spine is bent across Sun's knees. Blood flows from Pat's forehead into a small puddle on the mat underneath him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls him up for a suplex, but Bozzini blocks it. He reverses it into a snap suplex! He straightens out the chain and clotheslines Sun with it!
After falling to the canvas, Sun sits up with both hands covering this throat; coughing & gagging. Meanwhile Pat Bozzini is climbing to the top turnbuckle. Bozzini wraps the chain around his elbow
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini frog splashes into an elbow drop with that chain that's called The Bastard Sword!!
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (shrugs) I dunno. Bozzini atomic drops Sun on the top turnbuckle facing the audience. He wraps the chain around Sun's throat, and runs him out of the corner with a running Shattered Hopes rude awakening!!
Bozzini keeps the chain wrapped around Sun's neck and drags him to the first corner, tagging the turnbuckle. The audience screams "ONE!", Sun tags it as Bozzini drags him past
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini swinging for the fences here. He drags Sun to the second corner and tags it as well!
The fans scream "TWO!!" Sun smacks the bottom turnbuckle as well. Pat drags him to the third corner and tags it and The Rose Garden shouts "THREE!!" Sun reaches out and tags it
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini goes for the fourth and final corner but Sun puts the breaks on. Bozzini tugging on the chain, squeezing the life out of Sun, but the Nutmeg State Native not budging!
"The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi runs out of the audience and grabs Sun by the boot! JoJo jumps up on the apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: JoJo Sushi drops Sun's throat on the top rope from the apron, and Bozzini tags the final corner!!
Mike Peters signals for the bell and Fear Factory's "Archetype" plays through The Rose Garden
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 12 minutes 54 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, 'PLATINUM' PAT BOZZINI!!!"
Pat Bozzini demands Mike Peters unhook him from the chain around his wrist. Peters does and a blood drenched Bozzini rolls out of the ring to retrieve his UCW Triple Crown belt
Guillermo O'Bannon: With some help from JoJo Sushi, Bozzini puts this important win in his pocket and will now go to Palm Springs where he & "The Sensational" Shawn Styles will represent GCW in the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament at hallowed Hardkore Hall.
Phil Blauer: Good, I think I left my cell phone there last time we were there in December. Hopefully it's still there. My Mom was sick back then and I haven't been able to check my voicemail. Hope she's alright?
JoJo Sushi and his father Tojo laugh at Sun while backing their way up the aisle. Sun glares at them while wrapping the chain around his fist
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun teams up with the tag team great Kilroy Evans in that same tournament but right now, I bet he's thinking about his long awaited rematch against Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion "The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi at Palm Springs Punishment 2006 on pay-per-view in a steel cage!
A bloody Bozzini staggers out of The Rose Garden with his UCW World Triple Crown title belt lofted high above his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Last month in Las Vegas, Lonewolf McNeely scored his first singles title in quite some time by defeating Soutter in a brutal barbed wire match. For his first title match he has David Sadler, a man who has won dozens of championships on both continents.
Phil Blauer: And what continents would they be?
Guillermo O'Bannon: North America and Europe.
Phil Blauer: Those are good ones.
A huge countdown clock appears on the Hardkoretron and a voice starts to talk
Voice: "David Sadler will steal the show in 5 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 4 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 3 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 2 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show……………………
Boom fireworks shoot from the ramp! The words spoken by David Sadler echo around the arena “I have toiled and bled and now it is time to show you the very meaning of reality” "Liberate" by Disturbed then hits the speakers as David walks out on the ramp and the camera shoots to a close up of him. He looks at the crowd side to side. David makes a couple of steps forward as two pyros shoot off fireworks and flame besides him. He then continues down the ramp and then to the ring. He climbs up the steps slowly and when he reaches the top step he looks over at the Portland crowd for a few seconds. He then makes his way through the ropes and walks across the ring to the opposite turnbuckle which he climbs and spreads his arms and looks into the sky from
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler is an accomplished technical wrestler who will give Lonewolf McNeely a completely different match than the barbed wire one he had with Soutter. For Sadler he's going to have to keep this match on the mat, and ground McNeely's ariel assault.
Yolanda Ando: David Sadler wears baggy cut off jean shorts. He wears black knee and elbow pads and white boots with black trim. Pale skinned with blue eyes, long brown hair and clean shaven. The UCW Tag Team title belt is strapped around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST TITLE! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first from Ipswich, England; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is One Half of the UCW World Tag Team Champions...'THE SAVIOUR OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING' DAVID SADLER!!!"
Sounds of a crying woman are heard as we then see pyro going off to and the arena lights begin to flicker. Blood lines stream down the video tron. Then "See You Dead" by Helmet begins playing and Lonewolf McNeely walks out with a noose in his hand. He jumps on the ropes and pulls out a knife from his shorts and slices it across his chest and draws a smile amount of blood as he enters the ring. He yells at the referee and gives two fingers to the fans at ringside spitting more blood on the ground
Phil Blauer: He should just cut the same cut over & over. It would save him on scar tissue.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely on the hot track right now, scoring a big title win in Vegas and helping Robert Hunglestien III turn on his stablemates. Now, anyone with a problem with Hunglestien, also has a problem with that noose of Lonewolf McNeely's.
Yolanda Ando: Lonewolf McNeely wearing some black leather shorts with Rain's name in blood on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringer hanging off the sides.
Phil Blauer: Why does he still have Rain's name on his ass? I don't have Thea Vidale's on mine?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
The crowd boos McNeely as he wipes his chest blood all over. He tosses his West Coast title to the ground, which Peters quickly picks up and holds up in the air. he signals for the bell and Sadler rocks McNeely with some right hands
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler smacking the West Coast Champ with lefts and rights. McNeely catches one of his punches and lifts up Sadler's arm. He punches Sadler in the armpit with a heart punch.
McNeely attempts a fireman's carry, but Sadler blocks it and pulls him up into a textbook suplex. Sadler bounces into the ropes and drops an elbow across his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler pulls McNeely up and irish whips him into the ropes. McNeely comes back with a spinning heel kick!
The fans boo. McNeely wraps up Sadler's legs & ankle and bridges back into an oriental crossbow. He rocks back with McNeely's head in his hands while Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit this early
Phil Blauer: Lonewolf told me in between mulitating himself that he's been working on his submission manuevers since becoming champion, so as to be a more well rounded opponent. He also mentioned how his chest is more infected than Lita's underwear drawer.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler is able to reach over and grab the ropes. Peters forces McNeely to break the oriental crossbow and he reluctantly does. McNeely peppering him with lefts and rights, but Sadler blocks one and fires back with some forearms of his own.
The Portland fans cheer as Sadler rocks McNeely with forearm smash after forearm smash. He irish whips him into the ropes and meets McNeely in the center of the ring with a running knee smash to the face
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler steps into a kick to McNeely's face when he tries to get up! Sadler picks him up for a powerbomb, but Lonewolf reverses it into a huracanrana!
McNeely cracks Sadler in the jaw with an elbow shot. He flips him to the mat in a fireman's carry, and then applies a cross knee scissors. McNeely pulls on Sadler's leg trying to hyperextend his knee and apply pressure to the hamstrings
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pulling on that leg, trying to get a quick submission out of the UCW legend and send a message to the rest of the wrestling world. Sadler finds his feet and stands on one leg, with McNeely hanging on to the other. He swings around with an enzuigiri kick to Lonewolf's ear!
David Sadler swings McNeely around in a belly to belly suplex that has him pinning Lonewolf in one clean motion
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler scoops McNeely up and bodyslams him to the mat. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Lonewolf to get to his feet. Sadler flies off with a diving elbow smash!!
McNeely rolls out of the ring, clutching his nose. He waves off the match and starts to walk to the back under a shower of boos from The Rose Garden. David Sadler chases after him and wallops him with a few hard punches
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler drags McNeely back to the ring, he tries to ram his head into the ringpost...but McNeely blocks it with his foot. Lonewolf McNeely smacks Sadler upside his chin with a shotei palm strike.
Lonewolf McNeely flips Sadler onto the concrete with an exploder! McNeely climbs up on to the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips into a corkscrew plancha that smashes David Sadler into the guardrail!!
The Portland fans boo as Sadler leans against the railing with an upside down McNeely on top of him. After a few moments, McNeely rolls Sadler back into the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely comes off the top rope with a leg drop across Sadler's face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely swings at him with a huge haymaker, but Sadler ducks and belly to back suplexes him. He goes for a textbook suplex, but McNeely blocks it with his leg. Lonewolf McNeely drills him a headfirst with a fisherman's buster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler ducks underneath a discus punch from McNeely, and counters with a russian legsweep he calls a Soviet Scum Sweep!
Sadler irish whips McNeely into the ropes and drives him into the mat with a sidewalk slam! Sadler hooks his leg
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler goes for a DDT but McNeely reverses it into a stiff spinebuster! Sadler gets flipped over into an inverted figure four!
Phil Blauer: Do my eyes decieve me or is Lonewolf McNeely isolating a part and working it down?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, McNeely is honing in on the kneecap of David Sadler.
Phil Blauer: And do my eyes decieve me or is Yolanda the hottest chick I've ever seen?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's the 12 appletinis you had before the show.
Phil Blauer: (puts his glasses on) Ugh!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely leans back on Sadler's twisted legs as Mike Peters checks in on him, but Sadler refusing. McNeely smacks the back of his head a few times to sweeten the deal.
Sadler does a push-up to crawl over to the ropes and grabs hold of the bottom strand. Peters starts his count for McNeely to release the inverted figure four
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault, but Sadler puts his knees up into McNeely's sternum! He waistlocks him and drops the german suplex he calls The Fuck Hitler Slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler kicks McNeely while he's down in the kidneys, then grabs an on-the-mat sleeper. McNeely tries to reach out for the ropes but Sadler thrashes his head so violently that his arm drops to the mat.
McNeely gets to one knee while Sadler continues to wear him down with his forearm tight against Lonewolf's chin. McNeely stands up and then sits back down, shooting the top of his head through Sadler's chin
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely catches Sadler in the face with a flipover dropkick that sends him into the corner. McNeely climbs up to the turnbuckles, grabs an inverted facelock and flips forward into a diamond dust called The Sands of Time!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pumphandles Sadler but Davey goes up & over and behind the former Christian Sebastian Kennedy. McNeely applies an inverted facelock and drops him down in a reverse DDT!
The crowd comes alive as Sadler limps to the top turnbuckle. He waits for McNeely to stagger up and then hits him on the button with a flying dropkick! The cheers get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler grabs McNeely by the ankle and kneedrop his leg. He wraps his leg up and falls back into a figure four leglock!
Phil Blauer: Sadler giving McNeely a reciept for all the leg abuse he encountered earlier.
Lonewolf McNeely sits up in pain as Sadler clamps down on his crossed legs. McNeely grabs Mike Peters by the shirt in desperation, looking for escape
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely turns the figure four over and now Sadler's knee is back in jeopardy! Sadler is able to escape but is worse for wear. He tries to limp away, but Lonewolf McNeely catches him with a diving knee clip!
Sadler's knee folds underneath him and he clutches it. His knee is in heaps of pain as he holds on to his black kneepad for dear life. He's only able to to get to his knees before Lonewolf McNeely hauls off and kicks him in the side of the head
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Flesh Cut! This is the move he won the Hardkore West Coast title with, will it be the move he defends it successfully with?
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: No! Sadler is able to kick out, but will he be able to stand on that bad leg?
Phil Blauer: I'm sorry, are you asking me all these questions? I haven't been listening.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely lays Sadler's leg out on the bottom rope and then steps out on to the apron. He catapults himself over the ropes into an elbow drop on Sadler's outstretched leg!
Sadler howls in pain and rolls over onto his belly, clutching his knee. Lonewolf McNeely atomic drops Sadler onto the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. McNeely climbs up behind him on the second turnbuckle, and applies an inverted facelock
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips him over in a reverse superplex! Sadler's knee landed pretty badly there, and McNeely rolls him over into a pinning position.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips Sadler into the ropes but Davey comes back with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely uses his momentum to roll it over)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler gets to his feet and peppers McNeely with some Rage Punches. Lonewolf McNeely responds with a mongolian chop to the top of Sadler's dome!
Phil Blauer: Nintendo's first Pro Wrestling game representin!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler limps into the ropes and floors McNeely with a spinning wheel kick.
Phil Blauer: He didn't get the spring out of it he needed though from that bum leg. See? McNeely's already getting up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler's on him and drives his head into the mat with a dangerous DDT!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler goes for a kneedrop but McNeely rolls out of the way, making him land on that bad knee again. Lonewolf McNeely moves in for the kill, and pulls Sadler's head into his legs. He runs into the middle of the ring with a ligerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler claps his legs together on McNeely's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely irish whips Sadler into the ropes and then drops him on his cranium with an emerald frosion!!
McNeely pulls him up by the arm, but Sadler ducks under a shortarm clothesline and counters with a crippler crossface! The Rose Garden lights up with cheers
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler has McNeely trapped in the middle of the ring with that crossface. He pulls up on McNeely's face & arm with those fingers locked together.
Mike Peters checks in with Lonewolf but he refuses to give up his Hardkore West Coast title. Sadler reverses it and drops a leg across the back of McNeely's head. He limps up to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler flies off the top rope with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler grabs McNeely by the leg and wraps around into a spinning toe hold, but McNeely kicks him off into the turnbuckles. Sadler limps back into a fireman's carry, and Lonewolf drives him onto his head with a death valley driver!
The Portland fans boo Lonewolf McNeely as he climbs up to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pulls Sadler up into an inverted facelock, then spins him around into a roll the dice neckbreaker!!
Lonewolf McNeely presses Sadler over his head, but Sadler falls behind him, landing on his feet. Lonewolf McNeely turns around into a standing dropkick that pops the crowd
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler limps up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a flying elbow!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler is on fire now and shoots McNeely into the ropes, nearly taking his head off with a Ragesline!
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't it be Rageline? Just a thought.
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler irish whips McNeely into the ropes and catches him with his fameasser called The Light!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler shakes his head in frustration and pulls Lonewolf McNeely up in a crucifix...but his knee buckles underneath the weight before he can hit The Crucifixtion! Lonewolf McNeely presses him over his head and drops him in the No Human Contact diamond cutter!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "See You Dead" by Helmet plays. Lonewolf McNeely steps up on the second rope and soaks in their hate
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 19 minutes 37 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely successfully defends his West Coast title here in Portland tonight after wearing down that kneecap of David Sadler's. McNeely next goes on to the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament where he will team up with Robert Hunglestien III. David Sadler will be there with his New Axis partner, Lee Williams.
Mike Peters raises Lonewolf McNeely's arm in triumph, while McNeely slings the West Coast title belt over his shoulder
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely's next West Coast title defense will be a sure to be brutal rematch against Soutter at Palm Springs Punishment 2006.
Spotlights go all over the triple cage as it lowers over the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now it's time for one of the most brutal matches we allow our lovely ladies to compete in. The feared triple cage match. Tamara Sanchez puts her title on the line against the entire women's division, in a rage to the top of the cage where the belt hangs. The first woman to step out of that top cage with the belt in her hands is the new Hardkore World Women's Champion.
"Warning" by The Notorious B.I.G. plays and the Portland crowd roars. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner steps out with her arms in the air, soaking in the cheers from the amourous Pacific Northwest
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner was in the last triple cage match with Tamara Sanchez and came very close to winning the title. Tonight she hopes to become the first Hardkore World wrestler, male or female, to hold any title five times.
Phil Blauer: Didn't I win the TV title a few times?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Jonnie nixed that idea when you wanted Cyrus to sell the Phil Bomb.
Yolanda Ando: Anjanette Turner is in a laser red two piece bathing suit, red boots, hair in a fish tail bread.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is a Triple Cage Match for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Featuring first, now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
The crowd cheers wildly as Anjanette Turner enters the giant steel cage structure. Then "Domino" by KISS plays and Domino walks out to some cheers. Then "The Punisher" Dan Stein walks out and they're replaced by boos
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino doesn't wrestle much but would if she becomes the new Hardkore World Women's Championship. She could be the sleeper in this thing.
Phil Blauer: Or the one who gets her ass kicked from one side of the cage to the next. All these chicks are making me thirsty. Boone, get me a Diet Sprite!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Would you like that in the can, sir?
Phil Blauer: No, I'll drink it right here.
Yolanda Ando: Domino wears a tight black one-piece with a snake-eyes domino each leg of her tights. She keeps her long brown hair tied up. Over it, she wears a rather used-looking black leather bomber coat with a snake-eyes domino on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by "The Punisher" Dan Stein; from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 150 pounds...DOMINO!!!"
The crowd cheers. Then "Haunted" by Evanessence plays, Horror Girl cautiously makes her way towards the ring with Death Gojira, Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs. While walking down the runway, she pauses, tilting her head towards a jeering fan. When Horror Girl gets into the cage, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at Turner & Domino
Guillermo O'Bannon: Another former Hardkore World Champion, Horror Girl is tired of waiting for Tamara Sanchez to cycle through her contenders and come back to her. Tonight is her night to recapture the title she lost in her first defense to Anjanette Turner. The difference maker could be the fact that she has Death Gojira in her corner this time.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs, she appears to look like a zombie. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Lastly, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by her manager, Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs; from Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
"Alice in Hell" by Annihilator plays and Vampira comes out followed by Judge Death and an entourage of Goths. She threatens to bite anyone including Yolanda & Boone. When she enters the ring she slowly removes her jacket. Vampira snarls and glares evilly at the ring entrance
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira is tailor made for this match. She's got a vicious streak a mile wide and an axe to grind with every woman and transvestite in this match.
Phil Blauer: I've heard that same intro about a million times.
Yolanda Ando: Vampira dresses like a Goth wearing tight black leather pants with a black leather metal studded belt & tight black t-shirt, black steel toed boots, black leather jacket as well as black metal studded collar around her neck and black metal studded wrist bands. She wears gold pentagram necklaces around her neck and her waist length dark hair flows freely down her back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her manager, Judge Death. She is from Somewhere in Carpathia; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 175 pounds...VAMPIRA!!!"
"Adrenalize" by Rosetta Stone plays and Makoto Jupiter, Eerie Von, Tuxedo Mask, and Fat Tux walk out to a huge pop. Jupiter slaps all the fans hands in the aisleway
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter recently lost a close marathon match to Tamara Sanchez in Las Vegas, and hasn't exactly had the comeback she was looking for. Tonight she gets a chance to prove she's still the top wrestler in the female ranks by defeating the entire Hardkore World women's division.
Yolanda Ando: Makoto Jupiter wears a white leotard with a short green vinyl skirt, green tie up wrestling shoes with matching knee pads, and long white gloves with green trim. Her brown hair is tied back in a sporty, yet functional ponytail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her bodyguard, Eerie Von and the rest of The Cupcake Crew. From Olympia, Washington; Standing at 6 feet 1 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...MAKOTO JUPITER!!!"
The Rose Garden lets out an ear splitting pop. But then The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop which forces the crowd to cover their ears with their hands. The Microshocker walks out on Bad Boy King Kong's shoulders, holding Mr. Computer over his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: The former Hardkore Latin America Women's Champion Microshocker has been on a tear as of late, in both Hardkore World and SWAT. Tonight he hopes to win the Hardkore World Women's Championship and be the first person to win both women's titles in Hardkore history.
Phil Blauer: That's a weird accolade for a guy to hope for.
Yolanda Ando: The Microshocker is wearing a silver sequinned skin tight body suit with the ass cut out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Bad Boy King Kong; From Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 200 pounds...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
The Portland crowd boos and jeers The Shock as he gingerly enters the triple cage. The lights in The Rose Garden start to flicker, red and blue pyro explodes and "Always" by Saliva hits and a spotlight points on Tamara Sanchez standing in the entrance. The spotlight drives up her body, past her Hardkore World Women's Championship while she performs the Clique sign. She runs down the ramp, sliding into the cage where she jumps up the top turnbuckle showing her championship to the crowd
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has been expressing some boredom about her current crop of Hardkore World Women's contenders. Well tonight she has them all at once in her favorite style of match.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, let her bitch now.
Yolanda Ando: Sanchez is wearing black hot pants and a red top with spaghetti sleeves, appropriately saying "BITCH" on the front in black letters & red boots.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And finally from New York City; Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
Domino grabs Tamara Sanchez by the hair and bashes her face into the steel mesh! Ron Reid slams the cage door shut and the match begins. Makoto Jupiter back suplexes the back of Horror Girl's head into the cage wall
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner catches Domino in the back of the head with an enzuigiri. Horror Girl grabs The Microshocker and bites down on his cheek!
Microshocker howls in pain. Horror Girl then releases so she can headbutt his cheek over & over. Domino irish whips Anjanette Turner into Tamara Sanchez who belly to belly suplexes her facefirst into the cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker grabs Tamara Sanchez and scoop slams her to the mat! Vampira gets underneath the champ's legs and lifts her up in an electric chair. She ocean cyclone suplexes the back of Tammy's head into the cage!
Phil Blauer: Everyone's picking on the champ!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl irish whips Anjanette Turner into The Microshocker who powerslams her!
The fans boo. The Shock kicks Vampira in the stomach and lifts her up & over his shoulder into an inverted powerbomb!! The boos get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez grabs The Microshocker from behind in an inverted facelock.
Phil Blauer: Tammy hearing some of the first cheers of the year.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy flips The Shock around into a roll the dice neckbreaker!
Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Makoto Jupiter turns around and catches a flying spear to the stomach!! The cheers turn to jeers
Guillermo O'Bannon: Meanwhile, Horror Girl has Vampira in a front facelock on the second turnbuckle. She spins around into a tornado DDT!
Horror Girl looks around for her next victim. She sees Tammy battering Makoto Jupiter and she measures her for a spear into a short spinebuster
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl climbs up the ladder to the second cage but "Sexy" Anjanette Turner climbs up behind her, and belly to back superplexes her to the mat below!!
The Portland crowd cheers wildly. Anjanette Turner comes up behind The Microshocker and t-bone suplexes him! The fans cheer
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez tries to climb the ladder to the second tier of the cage, but Makoto Jupiter climbs up from behind and catches her from behind. She leaps off the ladder and rude awakens Sanchez to the ring below!!!
The Rose Garden erupts and the fans chant "MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!!" Horror Girl irish whips Anjanette Turner into Mako, who belly to belly suplexes Turner's head into that cage wall
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino hits The Microshocker with a dropkick! She whacks Vampira in the chest with a few hard chops. Horror Girl tries to sneak up on her, but Domino is ready for her with a kick to the stomach. Vampira uses her momentary distraction to punch Domino in the throat!
Vampira hits The Shock in the throat as well. Tamara Sanchez climbs up the ladder to the second cage
Phil Blauer: The master of the triple cage advances to the second cage.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez catches some much needed rest, but Anjanette Turner is fast on her heels. Sanchez is ready for her with a hiptoss! She atomic drops Turner into the cage and then enzuigiri kicks her face back into the wall!
Domino grabs Makoto Jupiter from behind with a russian legsweep! She turns around and scratches Vampira's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino scoops Vampira up and bodyslams her to the mat, and Makoto Jupiter hits her with a hard frog splash!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter butterflies The Microshocker's arms and lifts him up into a double underhook facefirst powerbomb!!
The Portland fans go wild. Vampira turns around into a flatliner from Makoto Jupiter! Meanwhile in the second tier of the cage, Tamara Sanchez goes for a DDT but Turner blocks it and backdrops Sanchez on to the hard cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner gut wrench suplexes Tamara Sanchez onto the cage floor! She lifts Tammy up into a suplex then drops her headfirst into a falcon arrow!
The crowd cheers as the two ladies brutalize each other at dizzying heights. Anjanette Turner scoops Sanchez up and drills her head into the cage floor with a corkscrew tombstone
Guillermo O'Bannon: Meanwhile in the bottom ring, Horror Girl grabs Domino by the throat and lifts her up, throttling her. She takes her over in a powerslam!
Horror Girl grabs Vampira and bites her neck. Vampira shrieks in pain as Horror Girl ganshes her teeth
Phil Blauer: How does she like it?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl threads Vampira's arm through her legs and pumphandle german suplexes her! The Microshocker comes off the top turnbuckle with a frog splash on Vampira!!
The Microshocker scoops Domino up and slams her hard to the mat. He then hops on her back and applies an STF! He pulls up on Domino's head while thrusting his plevis into her butt
Phil Blauer: Lucky! I'm ripping that off, take a look at the new Blauer Lock.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker pulls up on Domino's head, causing her extreme pain and embarrassment. After all that she's been through the past year, she doesn't need that.
Vampira monkey flips Makoto Jupiter onto both Domino & The Microshocker to break up the STF. The Microshocker stands up and catches a low blow from Vampira
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira cracks The Microshocker in the head with a kung fu kick to the head!
Vampira climbs up the ladder into the second cage. Vampira dragon suplexes Tamara Sanchez onto the cage floor! In the bottom cage, The Microshocker is climbing the ladder to the second cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Inexplicably, The Microshocker hops off the ladder and pokes Makoto Jupiter in the eye!
Phil Blauer: That was a dick move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira scoops Tamara Sanchez up, but Sanchez falls behind her on her feet in an inverted facelock. Sanchez drives Vampira down onto the back of her head with a scorpion death drop on the hard steel cage floor!
In the bottom cage, Horror Girl scoops The Microshocker up and bodyslams him hard to the mat. The Shock gets up and Horror Girl running dropkicks him in the chest
Guillermo O'Bannon: In the second cage, Tamara Sanchez pulls "Sexy" Anjanette Turner up into a powerbomb, but Turner reverses it into a spinning huracanrana!!
Makoto Jupiter pins Domino against the cage with her long leg, choking her with her boot. The Microshocker hits Domino in the back with a forearm smash
Guillermo O'Bannon: During Mako's momentary distraction, Domino superkicks Jupiter upside the face!
Domino climbs the ladder into the second cage. Domino catches Vampira with a DDT on the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino dropkicks Tamara Sanchez in the face. In the bottom cage, The Microshocker tries to climb to the second cage. Makoto Jupiter climbs up the ladder, and pulls The Microshocker back down with a super fisherwoman's buster off the ladder!!
The crowd erupts and chants "MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!!" Makoto Jupiter inverted facelocks Horror Girl and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter tornado reverse DDTs Horror Girl!! She climbs up the ladder but Horror Girl no-sells the DDT and climbs up the ladder underneath her. She gets under her legs and ocean cyclone suplexes her from the ladder to the mat below!!
Horror Girl maintains Jupiter's legs and turns her over into a double ankle lock and pulls it back into a boston crab. She plants her legs and sits back on it
Guillermo O'Bannon: In the second tier cage, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner comes behind Vampira and applies a standing kataha-jime! Meanwhile, Horror Girl rocks back on Jupiter's spine in that boston crab. Turner spins Vampira round & round until her feet leave the ground.
Horror Girl releases the boston crab and grabs The Microshocker by the head. She runs up the turnbuckles into a swinging neckbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner gut wrenches Domino up into a spinning tigerbomb on the cage floor!!
The fans cheer. In the bottom cage, Horror Girl goes for a suplex but The Microshocker blocks it. He counters with an F3 brainbuster
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying elbow to Horror Girl's chest!! In the second cage, Vampira lifts Tamara Sanchez up in a suplex, then drops her down into a jackhammer she calls The Vampire Driver!!
Vampira sneaks up behind "Sexy" Anjanette Turner and chokes her with her leather studded belt. Tamara Sanchez staggers to her feet and rushes Domino, Domino goes for a backdrop, but Sanchez reverses with a canadian destroyer piledriver
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Mexican Destroyer on the cage floor!! While Vampira holds Turner by the throat with that belt, Tamara Sanchez superkicks Turner in the face!
Tamara Sanchez gets to her feet and gets hit with a reverse bulldog by Domino! Domino pulls Tammy up by the arm and pulls her into a short arm clothesline
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker climbs up the ladder into the second ring. Horror Girl gut wrenches Makoto Jupiter up onto her shoulder into a tigerdriver!!
Horror Girl sits Makoto Jupiter on the top turnbuckle, then climbs to the second rope. She double underhook superplexes her across the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl hangs onto an armbar while biting down on Makoto Jupiter's fingers. Meanwhile in the second ring, Turner catches The Microshocker on the back of the head with an enzuigiri!
Turner runs into a handspring backflip splash on The Microshocker! "Sexy" Anjanette Turner butterflies Vampira's arms, and lifts Vampira up into a running michinoku driver I on the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: On the bottom cage floor, Makoto Jupiter kicks Horror Girl in the stomach and DDTs her on the canvas! She picks Horror Girl up in an inverted crucifix and then sits down into a tigerbomb!!
The fans cheer. Makoto Jupiter pulls her up and drops her with a back suplex. In the second cage, The Microshocker grabs Tamara Sanchez and rockbottoms her into the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker kicks Domino in the stomach and F1 powerbombs her on that steel cage floor!!
The Microshocker grabs two handfuls of Anjanette Turner's french braid and slams her face into the cage floor! Vampira catches The Microshocker on the back of the head with a barrage of forearm smashes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira chokeslams The Microshocker! She picks up her belt and lashes Tamara Sanchez across the back with it! Sanchez ducks the second one and counters with a death valley driver on the cage floor!
Tamara Sanchez X factors Domino's face on the cage floor! Sanchez grabs The Microshocker in a front facelock and then spins out into a twist of fate! She climbs up the ladder to the third cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs into the third cage with "Sexy" Anjanette Turner right behind her. Domino grabs Vampira from behind with an inverted facelock and applies a dragon sleeper.
In the top cage, Anjanette Turner takes Tamara Sanchez down with a hart attack clothesline! In the second cage, Domino rocks back on Vampira's head & neck. In the bottom cage, Makoto Jupiter powerbombs Horror Girl on her double chicken winged arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino releases the dragon sleeper and irish whips Vampira into The Microshocker who huracanranas her head into the second cage floor!
The Microshocker goes after Domino, but Vampira catches him from behind with a kataha-jime choke! The Microshocker claws at her arm, struggling for air. Horror Girl smashes Mako's face into the wall of the steel cage and then climbs up to the second cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl steps into the second cage, but Domino takes her over in a flying head scissors! Vampira clamps down on The Microshocker's windpipe and his arms go limp from the tazmission.
Domino scoops Horror Girl up but she falls behind Domino in an inverted facelock. Horror Girl lifts her up into a flapjacked ace crusher
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh, the Horror on the cage floor!! In the top cage, Anjanette Turner smacks Sanchez from one side of the cage to the other. She runs Tammy into the cage wall, but Sanchez ducks and Anjanette's face hits the cage!
Vampira climbs up the ladder into the top cage. Tamara Sanchez pulls Anjanette Turner up into a styles clash but Anjanette puts her hands down and blocks it The Phenomenal Clash! Turner then pushes up and takes Tammy over with a huracanrana!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Tamara Sanchez up into an inverted crucifix that smashes the top of Tammy's head on the cage roof! She then flips her forward into her jumping reverse crucifix powerbomb on the cage floor!! The Sexy Girl!!
Anjanette Turner opens up the cage door, Tamara Sanchez gets up to stop her but Vampira hangs onto her leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner walks out the cage and becomes the first ever 5 time Hardkore World Women's Champion!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 31 minutes 18 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND ONCE AGAIN HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
"Warning" by The Notorious B.I.G. plays as The Rose Garden cheers Anjanette Turner standing in the heavens with her Hardkore World Women's Championship lofted high above her head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner has climbed the mountain and reclaims her spot among Hardkore World's best!
Phil Blauer: And Tamara Sanchez loses her first Triple Cage Match! Her arrogance has finally worked against her!
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Sacramento, Lucifer Jones and Dan Stein took the remnants of The Society of the New Breed and formed L.S.D. In Las Vegas, they won their very first match against The Un-Stable, winning the Hardkore World Tag Team titles. Tonight in Portland, they attempt to win their first title defense against another first time pairing of former blood enemies, The Shootfighter and Soutter.
"Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine plays and the fans cheer as The Shootfighter and Soutter walk out to the ring with Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion James Fierce & Judge Death walking behind them. The Shootfighter carries a stainless steel singapore cane
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein & Lucifer Jones weren't the only guy to have a feud revovling around bodily fluids. The Shootfighter & Paul Soutter had a feud a couple years ago over a rib Soutter played on The Shootfighter, that caused The Shootfighter to attack Soutter and urinate on him. They wrestled back in July of 2004 in a brutal ladder match in San Diego, then an I Quit match in Phoenix, culminating in a mixed tag team match in Oakland between Soutter & Tamara Sanchez vs. The Shootfighter & Judge Death.
Phil Blauer: That's alot a yellow going down between these four men.
Yolanda Ando: Soutter wears black trunks with the straps coming up over each shoulder and he has red boots. He also wears a black leather vest to the ring. The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by James Fierce and Judge Death; From Melbourne, Australia; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 428 pounds...'THE MASTER OF THE POWERSLAM' PAUL E. SOUTTER!! His partner is from Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!! They are THE K.G.B.!!!"
“Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine comes over the PA, as the following symbols comes up on the tron:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<Logo of “The Society of the New Breed”>
<The Punisher skull>
Down comes “The Punisher” Dan Stein to a chorus of boos. Stein ignores them, stone-faced, eyes directly to the cage. His manager, the lovely but exhausted Domino, hesitantly follows. Lucifer Jones bursts through the curtains next with , followed by the new Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. Turner has a towel around her neck, and the belt around her waist. Lucifer Jones starts looking out over the fans, and getting involved with the ones by the security railings; talking shit back to them
Phil Blauer: What are the odds that both teams would have the same band playing their theme song? The similarities in this match are uncanny!
Guillermo O'Bannon: LSD looking to enter the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament as the champions and get that first round bye. That's one important step to winning 10 million. In Melbourne, Australia, Lucifer Jones recently defeated Mr. Big for the SWAT Springfield Championship at the New Year's Nightmare pay-per-view at the Rod Laver Arena. Dan Stein was on that same show, winning the tag team rumble with Big Bad Bill against The Christian Soldiers, Reverend Cornelius Marsh & Trashcan Sam, & The Perfect Team.
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein is wearing a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out. Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and his ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat. He has the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist, and the SWAT Springfield Championship slung over his shoulder.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Their opponents are accompanied to the ring by 'Sexy' Anjanette Turner and Domino; Featuring first from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!! His partner is from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 237 pounds; He is The Current SWAT Springfield Champion...LUCIFER JONES!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...L.S.D.!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter took the microphone from Bill Kasal!
Soutter: "Since neither one of you have the testicular fortitude. I ask the locker room...is there anybody who dare take MY POWER SLAM CHALLENGE!!"
No music plays and the crowd pops. Mr. 100 limps down to the ring on crutches. Lucifer Joneses Dead Mama walks behind him throwing fake 100 dollar bills with Mr. 100's picture on it into the crowd.
Phil Blauer: That fan's going home with a souvenir tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shut up, Gorilla.
At ringside Mr. 100 asks timekeeper Ron De La O for the spare mic. Ron says there is no spare mic. Mr. 100 asks Ron to check again
Guillermo O'Bannon: This could get ugly.
Ron checks again and finds nothing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wow, I didn't see that coming.
Phil Blauer: Ron's been taking these classes for his anger. He said something about them being court ordered. Once a court ordered me to take classes, but I was like, "Go ahead and take my son, see if I care." I haven't seen whats-his-name since.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, Jr?
Phil Blauer: Yeah, that guy.
On the apron Mr. 100 asks Soutter for the mic
Mr. 100: "100 thank you's Paul Soutter. I not only thank you 100 times for this microphone, but 100 more for the beating that despicable walking blob of stomach bile. Beat him so hard his mother feels it."
Lucifer Joneses Dead Mama begs Lucy to get out of the ring
Mr. 100: "That's Ok, (gets nose to nose with LuJo) the bitch likes it rough."
The crowd pops
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think somebody found a catch phrase.
Phil Blauer: I told X Pac he should've put it on a t-shirt when he had the chance.
Guillermo O'Bannon: When did you talk to X Pac?
Phil Blauer: When he was fucking up my order at Taco Bell.
Mr. 100: "Paul Soutter, king of SWAT, known bitch of those at Gamestime Championship Wrestling, and resident president of the Hardkore World mid card, I accept your powerslam challenge!!!"
Soutter: "I'm a sporting fella, hows about I give you 100 seconds to take my powerslam..."
Soutter rests Mr. 100's bandaged head snuggly between his thunder thighs, lifts him, then buries him two inches deep in the canvas
Referee Ron Reid: 1..........2.............THR-
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 staggers to his feet, but The Shootfighter brains him with the stainless steel singapore cane!!
Referee Ron Reid: 4...5!!
Phil Blauer: Soutter wins another Powerslam Challenge! Who can withstand that powerslam?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein grabs The Shootfighter by the throat with his thumb and his forefinger.
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter is stopped by a finger...and a thumb.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein swings around into a stunner!
The Shootfighter gets up and muy thai kicks Stein in his ankle. Mr. 100 rolls out of the ring. He steps into another muy thai kick into the back of The Punisher's calf. He grab's Stein's foot and twists it into an ankle lock. James Fierce joins the crowd in applauding on the outside
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter standing over Dan Stein, wrenching his foot from side to side. Ron Reid checks in but Stein refuses to submit to The Shootfighter Anklelock.
The Shootfighter wraps his legs around Stein's leg and drops down into an on-the-mat version. Dan Stein reaches out and grabs the rope, and Ron Reid forces a break. The Shootfighter releases his foot and waits for him to get up
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein ducks under a russian sickle and he applies a full nelson. He walks The Shootfighter over to his corner and tags in Lucifer Jones. He holds Shootfighter for Jones in the full nelson while LuJo brutally beats him about the face.
The Rose Garden boos L.S.D. while double teams The Shootfighter. Stein throws The Shootfighter down on his hands and knees. Lucifer Jones bounces into the ropes and soccer kicks him in the face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones lifts The Shootfighter up in a fisherman's suplex and drops the back of his head against his knee!!
Lucifer Jones waistlocks The Shootfighter but he back elbows Jones in the face. He snap suplexes Lucifer Jones
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter pops his hips and pulls him up into a second & third snap suplex. He pops LuJo a few times in the back with those stiff muy thai kicks. He lifts Lucifer Jones up into a human torture rack!
The Shootfighter spins him round & round and then drops him into a samoan drop! He reaches over and tags in Soutter
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter headbutts Jones in the face and then irish whips him into the ropes. Jones goes down hard from a 400+ shoulderblock. Soutter tosses Lucifer Jones over the top rope!
Lucifer Jones catches the second rope on the way down and lands on the apron. Lucifer slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a tornado DDT!! The Portland crowd jeers as Lucifer Jones jumps on Soutter's back and applies a camel clutch
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones fish hooking Soutter's face while pulling back on his head. Now he claws The Centre of Attention's eyes in The Faceripper! Jones whacks Soutter with a few crossface forearms. Lucifer pulls him up by the hair and repeatedly punches him in the face.
The last punch sends Soutter to his knees, and Lucifer Jones hauls off and kicks him right in the face. He tags in Dan Stein. Stein headbutts Soutter and he falls into LuJo who headbutts him as well
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein hits Soutter with another pinball headbutt, then irish whips him into the ropes. He catches the 400 pounder on the way back with a powerslam!!!
Phil Blauer: I don't believe it!
The ring bounces from the impact and Dan Stein screams "Eat it, Soutter!"
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Soutter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein lifts him up into a front facelock, but Soutter reverses with an inverted atomic drop. Stein ducks under a clothesline and runs into the ropes. Soutter goes for a backdrop, but Stein catches him with a swinging neckbreaker!
Stein tries to lift Soutter up in a fireman's carry, but Soutter rains down on his back with stiff forearms. Soutter then brings his knee up into Stein's face. He tags in The Shootfighter
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a crippler crossface STF! He pulls up on Dan Stein's head & arm. Ron Reid checks in but Stein shakes his head no. Shootfighter links his fingers together and pulls up hard on The Punisher.
The Shootfighter rolls Dan Stein over and crouches over him. He fires into Stein's chest with a furious series of dragon claw strikes to his chest. Stein pulls him down into a sunset flip
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(The Shootfighter claps his legs on Dan Stein's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein ducks under a knife edge chop, and counters with a tiger suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein lifts The Shootfighter up in a hanging suplex and then drops him down into a jackhammer!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein scoops The Shootfighter up into a jumping michinoku driver II!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein tags in Lucifer Jones. He drops a hangman's neckbreaker on The Shootfighter, and Jones follows it up with a stomp to his throat! Lucifer Jones lifts The Shootfighter up in a crucifix and running razor's edges him over the top rope to The Rose Garden floor!!
The fans boo. Lucifer Jones atomic drops The Shootfighter's groin into the corner post! He then german suplexes the back of The Shootfighter's head into the railing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones rolls The Shootfighter onto the apron then climbs up there with him. He front facelocks Shootfighter and DDTs him off the apron to the concrete below!!
The Shootfighter rolls over on the floor with a cut over his eye. Lucifer Jones sets up a table next to the apron. He rolls The Shootfighter onto the apron and climbs up there with him. Suddenly Mr. 100 runs up and holds on to Lucifer Jones' leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 has Lucifer Jones' leg! Dan Stein runs over and clotheslines 100 hard on the concrete!
Phil Blauer: He may need 100 stitches!
Guillermo O'Bannon: But The Shootfighter takes advantage of the distraction and hits Lucifer Jones with a few muy thai punches. He t-bone suplexes him off the apron through the table on the floor!!
The Rose Garden comes alive with cheers as Jones' head liquifies the table. The Shootfighter belly to belly suplexes him onto the broken table
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls Lucifer Jones back into the ring, but he tags in Dan Stein unbeknownst to Shootfighter. The Shootfighter sits Lucifer Jones on the top turnbuckle, but Stein comes from behind and lifts The Shootfighter up in an electric chair. Lucifer Jones stands up on the top turnbuckle and comes off with a doomsday device clothesline!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein sits on The Shootfighter's back and applies a sleeper camel clutch. He rocks back with Shootfighter's head in his arms, trying to pull it off of his neck.
Shootfighter growls in pain, reaching out for the ropes. Stein releases his head and pulls him up into a vertical suplex and holds him up there. The Portland fans boo until Stein drops him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein irish whips him into the ropes but Shootfighter ducks under a clothesline and german suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter scoops Stein up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker. He pulls him over into a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps Stein's legs up and turns him over into a scorpion deathlock. He rocks back with Stein's legs, scooching them up until he has a high extension of them.
Ron Reid crouches over them asking Stein if he submits, he shakes his head no. The Shootfighter reaches out and tags in Soutter. Soutter grabs Stein by his legs and spins him round & round until he flips him back over his shoulder into a wheelbarrow suplex
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter northern lights suplexes Stein!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein gets his shoulder up)
Domino looks conflicted at ringside
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino was SWAT Australia President for a while so this has to be painful to see Stein & Soutter fight like this.
Phil Blauer: It's painful to watch Soutter do anything. Watch him try and go up some stairs, you'll feel like crying.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter irish whips Stein into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a Soutterlanche but Stein puts his boot up! He fireman's carries Soutter up on his shoulders and drops his face on the turnbuckle!
Soutter staggers around dazed, Stein runs into the ropes and clotheslines the back of his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein cradles him with an oklahoma roll!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Soutter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein tags in Lucifer Jones. He grabs Soutter's head with an RKO while Lucifer Jones takes his legs out with a chop block!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter stomps Lucifer Jones' head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones irish whips The Shootfighter into the ropes and then drills him on his head with The Dog's Bollocks emerald frosion!! He steps over The Shootfighter with a buffalo sleeper camel clutch called The Bloke Choke!
Jones stands over him pulling him up by the head & arm. Blood runs down The Shootfighter's face to the mat below. Suddenly Mr. 100 enters the ring again. He rains forearm smashes down across the back of Lucifer Jones' head
Phil Blauer: Mr. 100 breaks up The Bloke Choke, and drops Lucifer Jones with a 100 right hands...or so.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes, and goes for a big boot, but Jones catches it and drops him with a leg capture suplex!
The fans boo as Mr. 100 rolls out of the ring. The Shootfighter pops Jones in the back of the head with a few stiff forearm shots. He backs up and nearly takes Jones head off with a russian sickle
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies an inverted indian deathlock and reaches out to tag in his partner, Soutter. Soutter climbs up to the second rope and jumps onto Lucifer Jones' back with a bonzai drop while Jones is trapped in that Shootfighter Leglock.
The crowd cheers. Soutter pulls Lucifer Jones' head into his legs and pulls him up for a powerbomb!! He cradles the legs
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones raises his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter irish whips Jones into the ropes, but Jones ducks a clothesline and counters with an STO! LuJo lifts up Soutter in a front facelock while applying a chicken wing, then instead of suplexing him over, he sits down hard and drops him into a neckbreaker, wrenching both the arm and his neck with The Toxic Shock Drop!!
Phil Blauer: A move named after the dangers of tampons. You can't say that wrestlers aren't concious of today's issues.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 is back in the ring with a dropkick to Lucifer Jones' back! It looks like The White Chapel Horror has had about enough of this, and punches Mr. 100 in the mouth and then kicks him in the stomach.
Lucifer Jones backhands Mr. 100 and yells "Fuck off ya jobbin tit!" then spits at him. He hauls off and punches Mr. 100 so hard he falls through the ropes to the floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones turns around into a 400 pound spear by the former West Coast Champion!! Soutter tags in The Shootfighter. Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch and drops back to the mat with a body scissors.
Shootfighter applies pressure to the back of Jones' neck while pulling back on his arm. His strong legs prevent Jones from getting any new air. Ron Reid asks if Jones wants to tap out, but his partner Dan Stein comes out and breaks up The ShootClutch
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein stomping a bloody Shootfighter while Lucifer Jones struggles to get to his feet. Jones then steps in with a snap backdrop driver!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Lucifer Jones pulls The Shootfighter up over his shoulder in a double underhook canadian backbreaker, then drops him to the side in a piledriver
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones with The DeathDriver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Soutter stomps the back of Jones' head)
Mr. 100 is on the rampway with a microphone
Mr. 100: "Jones! Jones! You think you're hot shit! The way I feel about you can be expressed 100 different ways...Here's #44."
He flips the switch on the wall and the lights go out
Guillermo O'Bannon: Can't we have somebody guarding that light switch? At the very least can't we tape it up and write "Do Not Turn Off" on the tape?
Phil Blauer: I used all the tape wraping Christmas presents.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who'd you get presents for?
Phil Blauer: ...the orphans. And I got my cats this ball tied to a string. They just love it.
The lights turn on
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung is standing in the ring!
Phil Blauer: The Legind Has Reterned! I was gonna say he looked like Blak Lung, but I wasn't sure, them looking alike and everything.
Guillermo O'Bannon: How many times do I have to tell you Bruno's dead and he's not coming back no matter how hard you beg. He stabs Lucifer Jones in the forehead with his trusty rusty coat hanger! His old Shadows of the Night partner The Shootfighter takes the advantage to double chicken wing The Shootfighter's arms and drop them across his knee in The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein leg drops the back of The Shootfighter's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein turns The Shootfighter around into the rude awakening he calls Twilight's Hammer!!
Ron Reid forces Blak Lung and Mr. 100 to leave the ring as a bloody Lucifer Jones staggers to his feet. Jones grabs The Shootfighter's legs and catapults him up into a clothesline from hell from Dan Stein, so he falls back onto Jones' knees
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "Calm Like a Bomb" by Rage Against the Machine plays and Domino & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner collect Stein & Jones from the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Despite the 100 run-ins by Mr. 100, L.S.D. is successful in their first title defense.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 32 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...L.S.D.!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore World Tag Team Champions go into the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament with their undefeated streak in tact. They'll also recieve a bye into the second round which doesn't hurt their chances a bit.
Mr. 100 swears 100 different kinds of revenge from the rampway and then walks into the back with Blak Lung
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match that I've been waiting for all night, a no holds barred brawl between Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Kilroy Evans and Hardkore Nippon Brass Knuckles Champion "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa.
"Bomb Idea" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the Portland fans boo. Tom Lux steps out first with "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa behind him. Arakawa emotionlessly walks down to the ring, shadowboxing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa has been on a tear through the competition in Hardkore America, sharing the 2005 Hardkore World Rookie of the Year Award.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but he shared it with Nick Knight. He didn't even wrestle most of the year. I think he had two matches, and then had his nephew steal some people's promos, then he put on a bird mask on and became Anzu...
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Tatsuya Arakawa has not known much failure this year. One of the few losses he's had was last August in Phoenix against his opponent tonight, Kilroy Evans. Tonight he hopes to not only erase that loss from everyone's memory, but win his first singles title in Hardkore America.
Yolanda Ando: Tatsuya Arakawa wears blood red MMA biker style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in black, high black boots, black TRACE kneepads, and black wrist tape.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager Tom Lux; Hailing from Shimo-tsuga-gun, Tochigi, Japan; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE NIPPON BRASS KNUCKLES CHAMPION...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
The Rose Garden boos and jeers him. Then "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays and the Portland fans roar. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring waving to the fans and then slides under the ropes. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and holds his Hardkore America Heavyweight and Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts up in the air
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has been itching to get his hands on Tatsuya Arakawa since Arakawa attacked him during the Wargames Match in Palm Springs, California. Kilroy Evans tried to re-form The Un-Stable tonight but was rebuked, let's see if his broken heart is a help or hinderance.
Phil Blauer: It happens. I'm quite an expert in bebuction. I got rebuked three times, just during this intro. Yolanda?
Yolanda Ando: No, Phil. Kilroy Evans wears a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt and red, white, and blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS & The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...KILROY EVANS!!!"
The Portland crowd cheers. Kilroy Evans and Tatsuya Arakawa walk up to one another and meet in mid-ring. Arakawa stares a hole through Kilroy Evans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits Arakawa with a swift kick to the testes! Kilroy Evans irish whips Arakawa into the corner. He follows him in with an avalanche, but Arakawa puts his boot up!
Tatsuya Arakawa slaps Kilroy Evans in the face with a with left and then a right slap. He spinning chops Kilroy in the chest and then kicks him in the ribs
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa bounces off the ropes and Kilroy tastes a yakuza kick! Arakawa pulls him up and goes for a right hand, but Kilroy blocks it and answers with a kick to the stomach. He nails Evans with a stunner, then catches his feet on the way up and turns him over into a boston crab!
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans folding Arakawa up like oragami.
Arakawa rocks back with Kilroy's legs, bending at the knees so as to not pull out his back. Smart really. Mike Peters asks Arakawa if he submits but he refuses
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa powers out of the boston crab with those powerful legs. Tatsuya Arakawa then attacks Kilroy Evans with a wild flurry of punches that daze and confuse the Hardkore America Champion. He irish whips Evans into the ropes and then KOs him with a flying kneelift!
Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up but the champ ducks underneath a punch and atomic drops Tatsuya onto the top turnbuckle. He pulls him back into a tree of woe and backs into the other corner
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs a spear into Tatsuya Arakawa's exposed stomach in a tree of woe! He pulls Arakawa up in a suplex and then drops him onto the turnbuckles.
Phil Blauer: Kilroy trying to get Tatsuya Arakawa spit up his sushi.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, where are you getting these?
Phil Blauer: (hides his "Jerry Lawler's 500 Racist Observations" book) Nowheres.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans german suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for a piledriver, but Tatsuya Arakawa backdrops out of it. Tatsuya Arakawa snap mares Kilroy over. He whacks Kilroy Evans in the back a couple times and applies a stretch plum. The kneeling Arakawa pulls back on Kilroy's head & arm.
Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out but Kilroy refuses. Arakawa pulls him up and throws two muy thai knees into Evans stomach, ending with one in the face that sits him in the corner
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets a running start and then knee smashes a sitting Kilroy in the face!
The audience boos. Tatsuya Arakawa climbs to the second turnbuckle but Kilroy comes to life and clotheslines him over the ropes to the floor below! Kilroy Evans sets up a table and rolls Arakawa on top of it. He places a chair on top of Arakawa's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans gets a running start and jumps off the apron, elbow dropping the chair into Arakawa face and putting him through that table!!!
The Rose Garden chants "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" while Kilroy & Arakawa lie in a pile of rubble for a few moments. Kilroy pulls Arakawa up and running spinebusters his back into the guardrail
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy asks a fan to hand him a chair, and then bends the frame on Arakawa's skull!! He rolls a busted open Arakawa up onto the apron. He climbs up there, but Arakawa hits him with a spinning back punch! He front facelocks Kilroy and DDTs him off the apron to the concrete floor!!
The crowd gives Arakawa an ear splitting heel pop, booing and jeering him as he recovers from the chair attacks. Tom Lux goes to work with Arakawa ripping up two lengths of guardrail and lays them on the prone body of Kilroy Evans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa goes to the middle rope to and leaps off with the Shinjuku Crush flying double knee drop onto the pile of debris!!!
The Portland crowd pops. Arakawa performs a running high kick knocking Kilroy into the audience, taking down a number of fans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hops the rail and kicks fans out of their chairs and begins to violently toss them at Kilroy and anyone who dares get in his path!
Arakawa nails him with a few more chairs and then rolls Kilroy back into the ring and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa comes off the second rope with a kneedrop to Kilroy's chest!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa lifts Kilroy in a fireman's carry and then drops his face on his knee with a Go 2 Sleep!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa irish whips Evans into the ropes, but Kilroy ducks underneath a rolling solebutt kick! Kilroy mounts Arakawa and rains down on his face with a flurry of punches!
The crowd roars as Kilroy Evans batters the bloody Arakawa. Arakawa pulls Kilroy down into a sunset flip
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans claps his legs on Arakawa's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans gets back to his feet but catches an enzuigiri kick to the back of his head for his troubles. Arakawa waistlocks him, but Kilroy back elbows him. Kilroy Evans DDTs Arakawa!
Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and baseball slides into the side of Arakawa's head! Evans crouches over Arakawa and bites down hard on the laceration over Tatsuya's eye. He then produces something from his pocket
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans produces a salt packet from his pocket!
Phil Blauer: That's from his pre-match ritual of 2 KFC buckets. I have it on good authority he also keeps the butter packets in his pocket to help him out of particular submission holds.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans pours that salt in Tatsuya Arakawa's wound...literally!
Arakawa shrieks like a banshee, covering his cut. It has the reverse effect though, and wakes him up. He launches into a karate chop flurry so hard it rips Kilroy Evans' MST 300 t-shirt
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops Kilroy Evans on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ducks under a karate chop and belly to belly suplexes The Saikyo Terrorist. Kilroy Evans crouches over him and batters him with a series of headbutts to his face, bloodying him even further.
Kilroy Evans applies an STF on Tatsuya Arakawa! He pulls up on Arakawa's head, trying to pull it off his shoulders. Mike Peters asks the bloody mess that is Arakawa if he wants to submit. Kilroy Evans gives his head & neck another big yank
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets to the ropes and Mike Peters forces a break. Kilroy Evans pulls him up, but Arakawa comes up swinging with a hard chop to his now bare chest.
Arakawa rips the rest of Kilroy's t-shirt off and punches Kilroy in the jaw. He headbutts Kilroy Evans in the face, and then lands a stiff kick to the chest
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hits Evans' naked chest with a spinning chop, then hits him upside his chin with a shotei palm strike, and then nearly takes his head off with a high boot to the face. Tatsuya Arakawa then falls back into a jujigatame to his arm.
Evans cries out in pain as Arakawa rows back on his whammybarred arm. Kilroy refuses to tap out so Arakawa pulls him up by his arm and irish whips him into the turnbuckles
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa follows him in with a face erasure kick that busts his oft busted nose! Kilroy Evans falls forward onto his face as Arakawa bounces into the ropes.
Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, but the champ ducks under a clothesline. Arakawa turns around into a spear that sends him through the ropes to the apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans climbs out on the apron. Evans grabs Arakawa by the head and drops off the apron with The Bad Touch diamond cutter!!
Kilroy pulls out a table and rolls Tatsuya Arakawa on top of it. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, then leaps off with a 747 splash on Arakawa through the table!!! The crowd chants "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans slides a chair under the ropes into the ring then tosses Arakawa in as well. He sets the chair up in the center of the ring, and irish whips Arakawa into the ropes. Kilroy Evans drop toe holds Arakawa's face into the seat of the chair!!
A bloody Arakawa stands up, clutching his chin. Kilroy Evans kicks Arakawa in the stomach and then double underhook DDTs his face onto the chair!! He rolls him over into a pin
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy goes for a stunner, but Arakawa pushes him off into the ropes. Kilroy bounces back and nearly gets his head taken off with an Aki Lariot!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops Kilroy Evans on the back of his head with a deadlift german suplex! He steps over Evans and pulls his arm back with a kneeling wakigatame!
Phil Blauer: Arakawa trying to break Kilroy's ice cream scooping arm!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa wore down Evans' arm earlier tonight with the jujigatame. He tugs back on Kilroy Evans' straightened arm.
Kilroy Evans reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. Mike Peters forces Arakawa to break the wakigatame. A busted open Tatsuya Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes and hits him with a spinning roundhouse kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa bounces into the ropes, but Kilroy trips him up with a drop toe hold that sends Arakawa's throat into the second rope. Kilroy Evans bounces into the ropes and drops an elbow into the small of Arakawa's back.
Kilroy Evans irish whips Tatsuya Arakawa into the ropes, Arakawa comes back with an STO bomber! The crowd jeers and boos
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ducks under a uraken punch, and kicks Arakawa in the stomach. He pulls Tatsuya Arakawa up into a crucifix powerbomb!!
Kilroy climbs to the top rope and flies off with an elbow drop to Arakawa's sternum!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans irish whips Arakawa into the ropes, he dips down for a backdrop, but Arakawa catches him with a guillotine choke!!
Phil Blauer: He's got em!
Arakawa squeezes Kilroy Evans sides with his powerful legs while constricting his breathing by grinding his forearms against his esophogus. Arakawa is gripped up high on Evans' waist so as to not pin his shoulders to the mat like he did in his match to Sun
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa rocking back to further cut off Kilroy Evans' breathing. Mike Peters raises Kilroy's limp arm but he keeps it up to continue the match. Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up into a MASSIVE Bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Phil Blauer: The Rose Garden lets out a collective sigh.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans staggers up and ducks under another Aki Lariot, Kilroy counters with a full nelson suplex!
Kilroy Evans pulls Tatsuya Arakawa up and piledrives his bloody skull into the canvas!! Kilroy climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans flies off with a 747 splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans shoots Arakawa into the ropes but The Saikyo Terrorist ducks it and counters with a Jumping Gamengiri kick that sends him out of the ring!!
Kilroy Evans slips through the ropes and falls awkwardly to the concrete. Tatsuya Arakawa steps through the ropes to the floor. He lays Kilroy Evans so he's sitting against the railing, then gets a running start and soccer kicks him right in the chest
Phil Blauer: Kilroy caught between a rock and a hard place!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa pulls a gasping Kilroy Evans up in a hanging suplex, then vertical drop brainbusters him on the concrete!!
Kilroy Evans rolls over with a huge gash over his eye. A fan hands Kilroy a chair to use, but Tatsuya steps on it. Kilroy gives it a few tugs, and then grabs a beer bottle
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans breaks a bottle on Arakawa's foot! That frees up the chair and Evans brings it up into Arakawa's groin! Kilroy Evans double underhook DDTs Arakawa's head into the concrete!!
Kilroy Evans rolls Arakawa back into the ring and lies a chair over his face. Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and drops a legdrop across the chair and Arakawa's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans back suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa into his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden erupts in celebration as "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays. Kilroy Evans staggers to his feet as Mike Peters hands him his Hardkore America & Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...KILROY EVANS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has outlasted one of the most brutal matches of his career that didn't involve any barbed wire. He now goes on to the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup where he will team with Sun. Tatsuya Arakawa gets a first round bye where he teams with Andrew Sinclair.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is The Main Event of the evening. In Las Vegas, Robert Hunglestien III had his "hitman" Lonewolf McNeely attack all the members of The Un-Stable, himself included. Later, he used that same hitman to ruin one of the greatest upsets in Hardkore history, when James Fierce defeated Andrew Sinclair for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Hunglestien attacked Sinclair after the match and proclaimed his pursuit for the World Championship. Tonight, he gets his long awaited title match. James Fierce however is looking to prove he is the not the transitional champion everyone has claimed he is. He will keep Robert Hunglestien III on the mat, and twist his arms & legs into pretzels to keep that championship around his waist.
The Rose Garden goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III at the top of the ramp way. He is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me...It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over The Rose Garden as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. RHIII heads down to ring with a slow cocky strut, as the fans boo. One fan pours his entire cup of beer down Hunglestien's back. Hunglestien points at him and yell "Throw that mother fucker out of here before I do!" Security haul the fan out, and Hunglestien wads his beer stained robe up and throws it after him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III being welcomed in a way he hasn't encountered since forming the popular Un-Stable group. Let's hope this path he's chosen is more successful, if not more popular.
Phil Blauer: Last time he was heel he was Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion, so we'll see. Take it from me, friends are for losers.
Yolanda Ando: Mr. Popularity has on a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the 3 from the end of his name. Hunglestien also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. Robert wears black boots and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, this is The Main Event of the Evening. It is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, originally hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, now making his residence in Beverly Hills, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!!!"
The Rose Garden rocks with boos. Then "Around the World" by Red Hot Chili Peppers plays and James Fierce walks out to a big pop from the Portland fans. Once he fully emerges he holds both hands out to the side and begins his strutting down the ramp way
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce is having the time of his life right now and a career year. Recently he successfully defended his SWAT Carribean Championship against Dave Brickheart at the New Year's Nightmare pay-per-view at The Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne, Australia.
Phil Blauer: I thought he smelled like wallabee urine. It's distinctive.
Yolanda Ando: James Fierce wears a singlet that is red at the top and transitions into black towards the thighs. On the back of the singlet the letters “KGB” are written in black. He also wears a black and red warm up jacket that has "Bandits" written on the left breast and "Fierce" underneath. He has both of his SWAT Carribean title belts slung over both of his shoulders with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship proudly wrapped around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is The Main Event of the evening. It's scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first from Washington, D.C but originally from West by gawd Virginia; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 255 pounds; He is The Current SWAT Carribean Bermuda Triangle Champion, SWAT Carribean Heavyweight Champion, and the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'THE FEROCIOUS BANDIT' JAMES FIERCE!!!"
The fans let out an ear splitting pop as James Fierce holds up all his championship belts. Robert Hunglestien III pearl harbors him with an elbow smash to his lower back
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce fires back with a european uppercut. Fierce grabs him by his arm and shortarm clotheslines him, but Hunglestien ducks under and counters with a belly to back suplex!
Robert Hunglestien III full nelsons James Fierce. He presses down on the back of Fierce's neck with his linked fingers. Fierce tries to pry his fingers apart but it's not working
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce checks his options and then mule kicks Hunglestien in the groin. He lifts Hunglestien up in an atomic drop with his leg stretched outward, then drops Hunglestien's leg down on the mat in a leg breaker.
The audience applauds. James Fierce turns him over into a single leg boston crab. Robert Hunglestien III cries out in pain, and reaches out for the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce rocks back on Hunglestien's leg. Hunglestien is finally able to get to the ropes and Ron Reid forces a break. Fierce hesitantly does, but Hunglestien takes him over in a fireman's carry. He pulls Fierce up by the hair and bodyslams him.
The Portland crowd jeers and boos Hunglestien while he shakes some feeling back into his leg. He pulls Fierce up and irish whips him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III catches him with a spinning belly to belly suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(James Fierce kicks out)
Phil Blauer: The World Champion not nearly worn down enough.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien kicks Fierce, but Fierce catches his leg and then slings it over his shoulder. Fierce drops down to his knees, shooting his shoulder up through Hunglestien's kneecap. James Fierce straddles Hunglestien, facing his head, and pulls his leg over his shoulder. Fierce leans forward, pulling Hunglestien's foot towards his head.
Hunglestien shouts out in agony while Fierce works down his leg with the modified half crab. Hunglestien reaches out for the ropes again, trying not to pull a hamstring
Phil Blauer: In the Las Vegas heat, James Fierce zeroed in on Andrew Sinclair's arm. Tonight in the chilly Pacific Northwest, Fierce is trying to take out one of Hunglestien's wheels.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's your point?
Phil Blauer: Nothin, just riffin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce stands over Hunglestien and applies a standing ankle lock. He wrenches Hunglestien's foot from side to side while Ron Reid asks Hunglestien if he's ready to tap.
Phil Blauer: If I know Robert Hunglestien, James Fierce will have to tear his foot off before he'll say quit. But the truth is I've never met him. His people killed Jesus.
James Fierce leans into the ankle lock, pushing his leg towards his head. Hunglestien rolls onto his back and kicks James Fierce off of him. He grabs an arm with a side arm takedown
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III applies a crippler crossface! He pulls up on Fierce's face & arm, cinching in the crossface tightly. James Fierce reaching out for those ropes but is nowhere close.
Robert Hunglestien III pulls James Fierce up and hammerlocks his arm behind him. He scoops the champ up and bodyslams him on his chicken winged arm
Phil Blauer: Hunglestien confuses the senses with a hammerlock jawbreaker!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien waistlocks James Fierce, but Fierce back elbows him! He takes him over with a dragon screw legwhip. He grabs another ankle lock, wraps his legs around Fierce's thigh, and then drops down to the mat.
Phil Blauer: Earlier Fierce was attacking Hunglestien's thigh & kneecap, now he's zeroing in on his ankle.
Hunglestien yelps in pain as Fierce twists his foot from side to side. Robert sinks his fingernails into the canvas in helpless agony. Fierce releases the scissorhold around Hunglestien's thigh and then pushes his foot forward so the knee is bent
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pushes Hunglestien's foot into his ankle, twisting his foot to the side. He stretches the leg back out, and hits his kneecap with a martial arts punch.
Hunglestien rolls around the mat, clutching his knee. Fierce waistlocks him but Hunglestien does a go-behind and takes him down to the mat. Hunglestien scoots up on his back and applies a camel clutch
Phil Blauer: What a combo! Robert Hunglestien III targeting Fierce's neck for The High Life.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien leans back with Fierce's head in his hands, bending his back the wrong way. He rocks back as hard as he can, trying to force a submission.
The fans chant "Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" He sneers back at them and yanks Fierce's head back harder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III full nelsons him and pulls him up to his feet. He drives him into the mat with a full nelson slam!
Hunglestien lifts him up in a fireman's carry and then spins him around into a TKO
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce shoots in and grabs Hunglestien by the leg and karate chops him underneath his knee, and whips him over. He spinning toe holds Hunglestien, but Robert pushes him off with his foot into the turnbuckles. James Fierce staggers back and Hunglestien DDTs him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien 3/4 nelsons him, but Fierce pushes him off into the ropes. Hunglestien limps backwards, and Fierce grabs him by the leg. He slings it over his shoulder and trips Hunglestien throatfirst into the second rope!
James Fierce pulls Hunglestien's arms in front of him and then straightjacket suplexes him
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien III gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce fireman's carries Hunglestien onto his shoulders, but Hunglestien falls on his feet behind him. He german suplexes Fierce! He pulls him up into a second, then a third!
The Portland crowd boos. Robert Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes and jams him into the mat with a spinebuster
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien shoots Fierce into the ropes again and hits him with a clothesline. Hunglestien pulls him up by the hair, but Fierce kicks him in the stomach. Fierce runs into the ropes and rocker droppers his face into the mat!
The fans come to life. James Fierce sets Hunglestien up in a russian leg sweep and then pitches his face into the canvas! He rolls it up into a giant octopus, and the crowd gets louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce forces Hunglestien's head into his chest with his leg. He pulls back on Hunglestien's arm, twisting him like a pretzel. Fierce releases the giant octopus, and pulls Fierce up by his arm. Hunglestien pulls Fierce in by the arm and rams his knee into his stomach. Robert Hunglestien piledrives Fierce!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips Fierce into the ropes and takes him down with a flying headscissors. He scoops Fierce up and tosses him across the ring with a fallaway slam!
Robert Hunglestien III irish whips Fierce, but he reverses it and shoots him into the ropes. Fierce catches him on the way back with a spinebuster
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce kicks Hunglestien in the stomach and hits a stunner! He pulls Hunglestien up again and drives him into the mat with a uranage!
Phil Blauer: If he hits The Pedigree he'll do the WWF '97 Triple Crown.
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce inverted facelocks Hunglestien, and lifts him up into a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien gets up and grabs Fierce with a headlock takedown.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(James Fierce rolls Hunglestien into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce grabs him by both legs and slumps him over his shoulder. He flips him forward into a spinebuster!
Fierce applies a reverse full nelson, but Hunglestien brings his knee up into Fierce's groin. Robert Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms, and lifts him up and down across his knee with a double underhook backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips James Fierce into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien scoops Fierce up but the champ lands on his feet behind him with an inverted facelock. Reverse DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce applies an abdominal stretch. He locks his fingers around Hunglestien's head and pulls on it. He then grinds his knuckles into Hunglestien's ribs.
Fierce drives his elbow into Hunglestien's ribs over & over. Hunglestien hiptosses him over. Robert scoops him up into a michinoku driver II
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III pulls James Fierce up into a stiff powerbomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into a fireman's carry and then spins him around into an F5!
The Portland fans boo and start up their chant of "Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Hunglestien waistlocks James Fierce and lifts him up in a belly to back, but Fierce reverses into a bulldog! The Rose Garden erupts
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce applies a buffalo sleeper! He pulls up on Hunglestien's head & arm, applying pressure to the his neck. Ron Reid checking in with Hunglestien, but he's shaking his head.
The fans in the front row slap on the guardrail, chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" James Fierce pulls Hunglestien's head into his legs and butterflies his arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce hits The High Life on Robert Hunglestien III!!
Phil Blauer: His own move! Diss!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien puts his foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien double leg takedowns him and flips him over into a boston crab. Hunglestien plants his feet and rocks back with Fierce's legs.
James Fierce does a push-up and crawls over to the ropes. Hunglestien limps back to the center of the ring, dragging Fierce along his face. Robert reapplies the boston crab
Phil Blauer: Hunglestien leaning back on James Fierce's spine, and The Ferocious Bandit looks close to tapping!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien lifts him up by the hair and applies a cobra clutch. He drops Fierce on his head with a cobra clutch suplex!
Robert Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes and tiltawhirl slams him! He hooks Fierce's leg
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce, but James reverses it and shoots him into the ropes. James Fierce hits him with a lo-down spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien claps his legs together on Fierce's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pulls him up by his arm and flips him around with a rude awakening with Hunglestien's own arm across his neck. He pulls him down into a hangman's neckbreaker with his own arm!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Fierce pulls Hunglestien up into a piledriver, with both of Hunglestien's legs hooked. He gives him a double leg hook piledriver!! The fans are cheering as he rolls him over and makes the cover
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pulls Hunglestien up by his arm, then pulls him in with a shortarm lariot!
Fierce pulls Hunglestien's arm behind him in a chicken wing, but Hunglestien back elbows him. He turns around and hits him upside the chin with an elbow uppercut
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien goes for a diamond cutter but James Fierce reverses it into a rear naked choke! Fierce clamps down on Hunglestien's windpipe and leans back as far as he can.
The fans in the front row slap on the guardrail again, chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" Ron Reid asks Hunglestien if he wants to submit but he won't answer. He reaches out and grabs the bottom rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes, and Hunglestien comes back with an elbow smash! He dragon suplexes James Fierce!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien goes for a belly to back suplex, but Fierce flips on to his feet. James Fierce straightjackets Hunglestien up into a Darkness Buster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce inverted facelocks Hunglestien and flips him around into an eye of the hurricane!
James Fierce climbs to the top turnbuckle, and The Rose Garden roars in anticipation. Robert Hunglestien III climbs up to the second turnbuckle to meet him halfway. He belly to belly superplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips James Fierce into the ropes and slams him into the mat with a sidewalk slam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce and hits him with a hart attack clothesline!
The Portland fans boo. Hunglestien pulls him up into a headlock, but Fierce does a go behind and applies a headlock of his own
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce running bulldogs Robert Hunglestien! He pulls Fierce up into a crossface chicken wing. He walks him into the center of the ring and crossface chicken wing suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and nearly takes his head off with a lariot! Fierce goes for a suplex, but Robert Hunglestien blocks it with his calf. He reverses it with a brainbuster!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining."
Robert Hunglestien III pulls Fierce up into an argentinean backbreaker! He bends Fierce's spine across his shoulder, bouncing him up & down as his arms fall limply to his sides
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien drops to his knees and jams his shoulder into Fierce's back. Hunglestien electric chairs Fierce up and bends him backwards into a vertebreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into a back suplex, then swings him around into a blue thunder bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce claps his legs together on Hunglestien's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien pulls Fierce up over his shoulder and then flips him forward into a dominator!!
Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into an atomic drop, but Fierce rakes his eyes. Fierce textbook suplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and hits him upside the face with a super side kick! Fierce lifts Hunglestien up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry. He runs into the center of the ring with a death valley driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce lifts Robert Hunglestien up into a hanging suplex then drops him in a Kryptonite Krunch neckbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien gets his foot on the bottom rope)
The Rose Garden groans. James Fierce goes for a suplex, but Hunglestien blocks it again. This time he counters with a fisherman's buster, but drops him on his own foot, so Fierce's own knee hits his stomach
Guillermo O'Bannon: Paradise Hills!! Hunglestien goes for a DDT, but James Fierce reverses it with a fireman's carry. He drills Hunglestien on his head with a DDT of his own!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce pulls Hunglestien up by the arm, but Hunglestien pulls him in with a shortarm elbow smash! Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms, and pulls him up into a double underhook dominator!! The Star Breaker!!
Phil Blauer: He won the Hardkore America Championship with this very move!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (James Fierce kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining!"
The crowd roars and stomps their feet in anticipation
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes, he goes down for a back body drop, but Fierce reverses with a corkscrew neckbreaker!
James Fierce applies a camel clutch. He reclines back on Hunglestien's spine, rocking back with his head in his hands. Ron Reid asks him if he wants to tap out, but Hunglestien shakes his head
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "10!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien slips out and hits Fierce low! Hunglestien drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "9!"
The Portland crowd boos. Hunglestien gets behind Fierce and spins him around into an angle slam
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "8!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms and then sits out into his High Life!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "7!"
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays. Robert Hunglestien has Ron Reid raise his arm and hand him the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship belt. He clutches it to his chest and drops to his knees
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: With four seconds to spare, Hunglestien becomes the 37th Hardkore World Champion! Besides the West Coast title, Robert Hunglestien has now won every title in Hardkore America! But this one has to be the sweetest.
Robert Hunglestien straps the title around his waist and jumps up on the second rope, basking in the venom of the Pacific Northwest fans. He then goes to the other side of the ring and does the same thing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien now goes to Palm Springs to wrestle the man he betrayed, Andrew Sinclair for that championship at Palm Springs Punishment. But first, he teams with West Coast Champion Lonewolf McNeely in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. James Fierce will do the same, teaming with his KGB partner, The Shootfighter.
Lonewolf McNeely runs down to the ring and congratulates Robert Hunglestien III. The Shootfighter and Paul Soutter come down to the ring and help an exhausted James Fierce to the back. McNeely raises Hunglestien's arm in victory
Guillermo O'Bannon: Next we go back to Palm Springs for two shows. First the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament and then our biggest pay-per-view of the year, Palm Springs Punishment! See you there, fans.
Phil Blauer: Isalamalakem!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Salakem salam.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hello and welcome to Portland! This state has more strip clubs per capita than any other state in the union...
Phil Blauer: Hot dog! Where did you hear that?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here.
Guillermo flips Phil his Come To Oregon broucher
Phil Blauer: Wow, Oregon's state flag pictures a beaver on its reverse side. It is the only state flag to carry two separate designs.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (grabs the flag) I'll be darned. It does have two sides!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tonight is the last show before The Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament, and then we go to Palm Springs Punishment! Everybody's trying to get into the best position possible before Jonnie decides who gets what slot on the year's biggest pay-per-view.
Phil Blauer: Oregon has more ghost towns than any other state.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Everyone knows that. James Fierce struck it lucky in Las Vegas scoring an upset over Andrew Sinclair and winning the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Now he tries to keep it, putting it on the line against Robert Hunglestien III. Hunglestien shocked the World last month, turning on his own group The Un-Stable. He says he's tired of waiting for his shot, well tonight he gets it. Let's see what he does with it.
Phil Blauer: The Columbia River gorge is considered by many to be the best place in the world for windsurfing. Including myself. I love to get out there on the open river, the wind blowing through my mustache...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: But sir, you don't have a mustache.
Phil Blauer: (points to his brain) Up here, I do.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Kilroy Evans takes on his number one contender, "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. Arakawa fired the first shot across Kilroy Evans' bow...
Phil Blauer: Ewww.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...when he entered himself into The Un-Stable's wargames match, brutalizing Kilroy Evans as a message. Then in Vegas, they couldn't keep their hands off each other...
Phil Blauer: Ewww.
Guillermo O'Bannon: ...interfering in one another's matches. Tonight, they face off once again in what is sure to be a stiff brawl the likes we haven't seen in years.
Phil Blauer: Oregon and New Jersey are the only states without self-serve gas stations. Elitist pricks.
Guillermo O'Bannon: L.S.D. won the Hardkore World Tag Team Championships from The Un-Stable with alot of help from Lonewolf McNeely and Robert Hunglestien, Hunglestien even claiming to have laid down for them. Tonight they get their first chance to prove that wasn't a fluke by defeating another team of former enemies, The Shootfighter and Paul Soutter.
Phil Blauer: Eugene was the first city to have one-way streets.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then it's time to lower that huge triple cage hanging over the ring. Tamara Sanchez is the master of the triple cage, the only woman to be undefeated in that kind of match. She won her last one in , but this has got to be the biggest challenge of her career. Six of her top contenders are all looking to take the title off of her in this race to the top.
Phil Blauer: The hazelnut is Oregon's official state nut. Oregon is the only state that has an official state nut.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Lonewolf McNeely or Christian Sebastian Kennedy or whatever he's calling himself these days puts his Hardkore West Coast belt on the line for the first time against "The Saviour of Professional Wrestling" David Sadler. Sadler is a well traveled competitor who has held dozens of titles, could the West Coast title be the latest one he adds to his resume? Or is Robert Hunglestien III's handpicked assassin here to stay as champ?
Phil Blauer: The Chinook salmon is Oregon's official state fish. And a tasty one.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then Sun and "Platinum" Pat Bozzini chain themselves together for a Connecticut Chain Match. Sun is looking to get the upset of the year by defeating the UCW Triple Crown World Champion. But Bozzini has got World titles on the brain, and a win over Sun is a good start to putting him in line for ours.
Phil Blauer: Eugene is rated by "Bicycling Magazine" as one of the top ten cycling communities in the United States.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Then my favorite match of the night. Rated X is back and continues his war with The Un-Stable. He made an unsightly mess of Adrian Tanner Jr. in Palm Springs and wants to do the same with the AK-47. But Karnage has never been afraid of a little blood, and wants to end the legend of Rated X here tonight with the Nightmare Lariot.
Phil Blauer: Portland is considered an example of outstanding urban planning. The city is known as The City of Roses.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, that's why this place is called The Rose Garden...
Mr. #100 walks out to no music, handing out fake $100 bills with his picture on the front
Phil Blauer: Hey, it's Rated X!
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Phil. It's Mr. 100, he's one of Hardkore World's newest talents. He lost in a threeway dance with The Microshocker & The Shootfighter.
Phil Blauer: Jiminy Christmas! That's low card!
Yolanda Ando: Mr. 100 is covered from head to toe in a bright green body suit with the number 100 on it.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Rose Garden here in beautiful, Portland. Hardkore World and Hardkore Jonnie Valentine present tonight's Hardkore America action. Our first match of the evening is a Threeway Dance. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, From the Hundred Acre Wood; Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...MR. 100!!!"
The crowd gives him a mixed reaction. The Rose Garden darkens as a demonic voice is heard
"FEAR...
THE DEAD...
FEAR...
SAIN!!!"
Phil Blauer: (jumps in Guillermo's lap) Mommy!
At that point, huge pyros explode as the lights come back on and "Crossed" by Sam X hits. Christian Sain walks out wearing a white jacket with his face hidden by the hood. He gets on the apron, climbs the turnbuckle, and removes the hood and raises his arms. He hops into the ring with a wicked smile on his face and removes the jacket
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here's another one of our new cruiserweights talents here on the West Coast. It's Christian Sain, a former WAW Champion.
Phil Blauer: Wow, I guess they are getting tough on steroids in pro wrestling. Didn't I rent a movie from this kid today?
Yolanda Ando: Christian Sain wears some long silver pants and a white sleeveless t-shirt. Also wears black tape around his hands and wrists, and black elbow pads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Lowell, Massachusetts; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 155 pounds...CHRISTIAN SAIN!!!"
The fans give him a round of applause. Suddenly, Lucifer Jones jumps into the ring and cracks Mr. 100 in the head with a baseball bat!! He wails back and nails him again
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones is in the ring! He has nothing to do with this match!
Phil Blauer: Threeway!
Guillermo O'Bannon: You can't just change the match like that, Phil.
Phil Blauer: Who's talking about the match?
Mr. 100's head is bleeding like a faucet. The crowd hushes up for a few tense moments, then boos like crazy at Lucifer Jones who has a crazy smile across his face. He calmly walks over to the crawling body of Mr. 100 and delivers a brutal kick square into his face! Jones has a mic in his hands, and grabs Mr. 100 by the throat, bringing his face nose to bloody nose.
LuJo: "Now then, you got anything ELSE to say about me dear old mum?"
Jones slaps him hard across the face, still smiling like a hyena. Mr. 100's head kinda lolls to the side
LuJo: "No? Not gonna answer me then, eh? C'mon you filthy bastard, say something funny again! Make me laugh!"
Christian Sane doesn't know what to do. He looks over at the crowd, who's booing like crazy, then decides to do something
LuJo: "Oi! Hold it right there, mate! You just stand there in the ring like a good little monkey and let me do my business, alright? Or do you really want to make your first match here in Hardkore America you last?"
Christian ponders this a moment, the nods his head and stands there
LuJo: "Good boy. Now back to you..."
Jones kicks Mr. 100 again in the face, then grabs him by the mask and starts to drag him around the ring, talking the whole time on the mic, intersperced with a vicious kick every few feet
LuJo: "Now lets get one..."
KICK!
"...thing straight here, asshole. The next time you wanna..."
KICK!
...wanna get some more quote unquote 'heat'? Think again about throwing..."
KICK!
...MY fucking name out of your lips, bitch! You got a...
KICK!
...problem with that, boy? Take it up with Jonnie.
Jones grabs Mr. 100 by the waist and the neck, then pretty much just shotputs him headfirst into the turnbuckles! Mr. 100, a bloody mess now, slumps to the floor
LuJo: "There now, good luck with your match. Hahahahaaaaahahaaa! Bitch ass motherfucker..."
Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe this, how is Mr. 100 supposed to wrestle like this?
Mike Peters signals for the bell and Christian Sain pulls him up by the bloody mask
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sain irish whips Mr. 100 into the ropes and hits him with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Mr. 100 kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 rakes Sain's eyes. He irish whips Christian into the ropes, but Sain ducks underneath a clothesline. He hits the ropes on the other side and takes 100 down with a spear!
The Portland crowd applauds. Sain applies an armbar and takes a seat. He sticks his knee into the ball of Mr. 100's shoulder and pulls back on his armbarred arm
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 works his way to his feet and armdrags Sain over by his armbarred arm. He applies an armbar of his own. Peters checks in on Sain, but he refuses to submit.
Sain kips up onto his feet, but Mr. 100 hangs on to his arm. Mr. 100 grabs him by the hair and pulls him back down to the mat. The fans boo and Mr. 100 slaps on a claw
Guillermo O'Bannon: A blood covered Mr. 100 gets a good grip on Christian Sain's temples, pressing them in with his thumb & pinky. Sain gets to his feet again, but before Mr. 100 can grab his hair, Sain hits him in the stomach with hard jab. Sain knocks him into the corner with another hard punch. He grabs the ropes and thrusts his shoulder in Mr. 100's stomach.
Sain drives his shoulder into Mr. 100's stomach a few more times, then suplexes him out of the corner. He scoops Mr. 100 up and drops him on his knee with a backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sain goes for a DDT, but Mr. 100 backdrops out of it. Mr. 100 headbutts Christian Sane in the face, and then irish whips him into the ropes. Flying forearm!
Mr. 100 elbow drops Sain. He bounces into the ropes, but Sain rolls out of the way of a second one. Mr. 100 clutches his elbow, and Christian Sane scoops him up into a shoulderbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane goes back to Mr. 100's arm with a crippler crossface. He links his fingers and pulls up on Mr. 100's face & arm.
Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out. Mr. 100 almost does, but balls his fist up to prevent it. Sain pulls him up in a waistlock and german suplexes him
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Mr. 100 rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane irish whips Mr. 100 into the ropes, but Mr. 100 comes back with a clothesline! He bounces into the ropes and drops a knee between Christian Sane's eyes.
Mr. 100 runs into the ropes and splashes Christian Sane
Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Christian Sane kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 drops a leg across Sane's face. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Christian Sane springs to his feet and climbs to the second rope to meet him at the top. Christian Sane superplexes him! The momentum carries him over into a pinning position!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Mr. 100 kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane irish whips Mr. 100 into the turnbuckles, but Mr. 100 hops onto the middle turnbuckle and flies backwards into a cross body block!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Christian Sane kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 irish whips Sane into the ropes, he dips down for a backdrop but Sain reverses with a twist of fate!
Christian Sane wraps Mr. 100's legs up and turns him over into a scorpion deathlock. Mike Peters asks Mr.100 if he submits but he shakes his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane rocking back with Mr. 100's legs, trying to sit low on his back. A bloody Mr. 100 taps out!
The bell rings and "Crossed" by Sam X plays. The fans applaud as Mike Peters raises Christian Sane's arm in victory
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 7 minutes 14 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...CHRISTIAN SANE!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Christian Sane scoring his first win here in Hardkore World tonight, a red letter day in any wrestler's life. Partly with some help from Lucifer Jones though, we'll see how he does in his next match.
The shot cuts to a storage room somewhere in the arena. As the shot pulls out, it shows Kilroy Evans sitting across from an angry Robert Hunglestein III. The particular reason behind his anger is that he's tied to a folding chair.
RH3: What the fuck do you think you're doing?!
Kilroy: You know, it took me long enough, but I figured it out.
RH3: That you loop the laces around, then go through the rabbit hole?
Kilroy: No, but thanks for reminding me.
Kilroy quickly takes out a piece of paper and makes a few notations. He turns back to RH3
Kilroy: No, I figured out what's going on. I mean, this whole "I'm a bad guy again, pay attention to me" stuff is pretty ridiculous. You spent, like, a year to get to this point and then decide to change your mind? I call bullshit.
RH3: Well maybe if I hadn't have been held back by the likes of you---
Kilroy: And the worst part is, you were okay now. We'd finally cleared the hurdles and become friends! You were actually funny for the first time in your life! I'm not sure I can take credit for ALL of that, but...
RH3: This is business, not a social club. Deal with it.
Kilroy: I am. That's why I tied you to the chair. So before I hand you off to Microshoker...
RH3's eyes widen in surprise.
Kilroy: ...I'm going to find out who brainwashed you.
RH3: What?!
Kilroy: Yep, you've obviously been brainwashed. To just throw away all that time and effort, plus my loveable company, proves you're not in your right mind.
RH3: Wouldn't it mean the opposite?
Kilroy: Quiet, I do the jokes here. So while I conveniently turn my back to you, go ahead and brainstorm about who might've warped your fragile little noggin.
Kilroy turns around and picks up a crowbar. When he turns around, he's face to face with a standing RH3...whose arms are still tied to the chair.
Kilroy: They grow so fast these days.
RH3: Next time, not that there will be one, you need to remember to tie the feet to the chair as well.
Kilroy: I see.
Hunglestein rams his shoulder into Kilroy and they both go down. RH3 gets up to leave, but Kilroy rolls over and trips his feet up. Kilroy clambors onto RH3's back, and holding his head up by the hair.
Kilroy: Oh no, you're not leaving until I've deprogrammed you! And if I can't, I'll film your special time with Microshocker and sell it to raise money so professionals can do it. If there's any left over, I'll get you a therapist, too. *looks up* Aw, nuts.
Kilroy looks up in time to see Lonewolf McNeely arrive and spear him off of Hunglestein. RH3 gets up and finally frees himself completely and motions for McNeely to stiop pummeling Kilroy. They both leave as Kilroy struggles to an upright position.
Kilroy: Of course you realize, this means war.
Fade back to the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next we have another newcomer debuting in Hardkore America, against a very accomplished wrestler in Adrian Tanner Jr. Tanner was very close at times to beating his stablemate, Kilroy Evans for the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship in Las Vegas. Tonight, he tries to get back to America title contention by defeating Carson "Big Time" Parker.
Phil Blauer: Rumors are that he blew his knee out and could be done for the season.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's Carson Palmer.
Phil Blauer: Check out NFL.com, asshole.
The Rose Garden house lights dim to black as Damageplan's "Moment of Truth" booms through the speakers. Then *BOOM!* A huge blast of pyro engulfs the stage in flames. When the flames die down, Adrian Tanner Jr stands in the middle of the stage, head down, dressed in red "metallic effect" shorts with "AT" in gold letters on each side and an open red "metalic effect" ring jacket with the same, along with black elbow and knee pads. Adrian begins his walk down the ramp slapping a couple hands on the way down. Adrian raises his arms, throws his head back, and thousands of multicolered streamers shoot simultaniously from all four corners of the ring. Adrian takes off his ring jacket and slides into the ring. In the ring, Adrian mounts the nearest turnbuckle, making the "gun" motion with left hand. He "cocks" and "fires," and then jumps down
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. is trying to keep some assemblance of The Un-Stable together. He'll team with Andrew Karnage in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament in Palm Springs, California.
Phil Blauer: With those two tag team specialists pairing up. Some people say it's like Arn Anderson teaming with Arn Anderson. Or Arn Anderson teaming with Ole Anderson, if Ole Anderson were to learn a move beyond the armbar.
Yolanda Ando: Adrian Tanner Jr. is wearing blue shorts with "AT" in shiny red lettering on the sides with black and elbow and knee pads, white wrist bands, a black chain around his neck, white boots with "AT" in small blue letters on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Tucson, Arizona; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 227 pounds; He is The Current SWAT World Tag Team Champion...ADRIAN TANNER JR.!!!"
The crowd cheers while Tanner loosens up the ropes. "Big Timing" by Cash Money hits as the lights darken. Huge pyro go off and Carson Parker comes out and walks to the ring. He slides in the ring, hops onto the turnbuckle, raises his arms, then flips off and lands on his feet
Guillermo O'Bannon: Not much is known about Carson Parker other than he's a former USWF World Heavyweight Champion & USWF Tag Team Champion...
Phil Blauer: Obviously, "research" is a dirty word in Irish. He arrived at the University of Southern California in 1998 and immediately competed for the starting quarterback job with Mike Van Raaphorst. Van Raaphorst won, but in the ninth game of the season, Parker was named the starter, becoming only the second true freshman to ever start at quarterback for the USC Trojans.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's still Carson Palmer, Phil.
Phil Blauer: What did I say?
Yolanda Ando: Carson "Big Time" Parker short silver tights that say "Big Time" on each side. Which is convenient, because that's his name.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...CARSON 'BIG TIME' PARKER!!!"
The fans give him a polite reaction. Ron Reid signals for the bell. Adrian Tanner whacks into Parker's chest with some chops
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner backing Parker into the corner with a barrage of knife edge chops. Parker fires back with a few of his own, then smashes Tanner in the face with a pele kick!
The Portland crowd pops. Carson Parker goes for a doctor bomb, but Adrian Tanner reverses with a huracanrana
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner grabs Parker and drops him to the mat with a snap suplex. He twists his legs around to pick him up into a second one, and then a third!
Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes, but Carson reverses the flying body press into a powerslam
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker irish whips Tanner into the ropes and catches him on the way back with a black hole slam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker pulls Tanner upside down in a vertebreaker...he drills him headfirst!!
Carson Parker climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He backflips into a shooting star press but just hits Adrian Tanner's knees
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker staggers around and Tanner takes him out with a dropkick. Adrian takes him down with an arm drag then grabs an armbar.
Tanner squeezes Parker's twisted arm, while Ron Reid asks him if he wants to submit. Parker shakes his head, and works his way back up to his feet. Tanner releases his arm and takes him down again, this time in a headlock
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner grinds his forearm into the side of Parker's face with that tight headlock. Parker rolls him up in a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Adrian Tanner releases the headlock & kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men up to a vertical base and Parker surprises him with a superkick! He grabs him in a german suplex and drops him on the back of his head!
Parker pulls Tanner up in a full nelson and dragon suplexes him. But he doesn't bridge, instead pulls him up into a straightjacket position
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker completes The ChimeraPlex!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker pulls Tanner up in a fireman's carry. He walks into the center of the ring and drops him on his head with a cradle shock!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker runs into the ropes, but the veteran Tanner trips him up with a drop toe hold that slings Parker's throat into the second rope. He scoops Parker up and drops him in a backbreaker.
Tanner applies an STF on Parker. He pulls up on Parker's head while Carson claws at Tanner's arm, trying to escape. He reaches out for the ropes but Adrian has him smack dab in the middle of the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner gets a new grip and tries to tear Parker's head off with the STF. He releases it long enough to drop an elbow drop and then a knee into Parker's lower back.
Phil Blauer: Carson Parker's back isn't faring much better than his knee this season.
Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and waits for Parker to get to his feet. When he does, he comes off with a huracanrana but Parker reverses it into a doctor bomb
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker pulls Tanner's head into his legs and flips over into a canadian destroyer!!
The Portland crowd pops. Parker fireman's carries Tanner up on his shoulders and then walks him over to the corner. He drops Tanner on the turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker backflips into a moonsault fallaway slam!!
The Rose Garden cheers even louder. Parker applies a crippler crossface. He yanks up on Tanner's head & arm while Reid asks Tanner if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker locks his fingers together and cinches in the crossface even harder. Tanner rolls him over into a cradle!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Parker releases the crippler crossface)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both Parker & Tanner are up to a vertical base. Tanner tries to kick Parker, but Carson catches his foot. Tanner swings around with an enzuigiri kick!
Adrian Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes and dips down for a backdrop. Carson Parker reverses with a tiger driver '91
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner claps his legs together on Parker's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner charges Parker and catches him with a tornado DDT! He scoops Parker up and drops him in another backbreaker, this time holding him against his knee in a submission.
Phil Blauer: The second generation star going to work on Carson Parker's back.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner pushes down on Parker's chin and knee, bending his spine across his knee. Parker reaches up and rakes Tanner's eyes to get out of the submission. He grabs Tanner by the jaw and drops down in an RKO!
Carson Parker climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press!! The fans pop again and Ron Reid slides over to make the count
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker half nelsons him, but Tanner elbows out of it. He reverse russian legsweeps Parker's face into the turnbuckle! He staggers out of the corner and Tanner catches him under the chin with The Daytripper superkick!
Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs to the top turnbuckle and front flips into 450 legdrop
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Wake Up Call!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Parker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Adrian Tanner Jr. climbs up to the top rope for a moonsault, but Parker climbs up the ropes behind him. He hooks him up for a russian legsweep and then backflips into a C4!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Adrian Tanner Jr. kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker front facelocks him and lifts him up into an elevated DDT!! He lifts Tanner up in a fireman's carry then drops into a california roll!
Carson Parker half nelsons Tanner and drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex! He pulls Tanner up but Tanner does a go behind and german suplexes him
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Carson Palmer rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner tosses Palmer over the top rope to the apron. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle then plucks Palmer off the apron with a huracanrana to the floor!!
The Rose Garden erupts as fans chant "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" Adrian Tanner climbs back up onto the apron. He gets a running start then shooting star presses Parker off the apron onto the floor!! The chants of "TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!! TAN-NER!!" get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner rolls Parker back into the ring and climbs to the top rope. He shooting star presses into a Fall From Grace frog splash!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Carson Parker kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tanner irish whips Parker into the ropes but Big Time comes bounding back with a pounce! He lifts Tanner up and drives him into the mat with a uranage!
Parker kicks Tanner in the stomach and then runs into the ropes, he drives Tanner's face into the mat with a rocker dropper
Guillermo O'Bannon: Parker chicken wings Tanner's arm and then bends him over his back with a crossface, The Stretch of the Truth!! Tanner's arm is gonna break unless he submits, and he does!
"Big Timing" by Cash Money plays and Carson Parker celebrates on the second turnbuckle
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 14 minutes 21 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...CARSON 'BIG TIME' PARKER!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Carson Parker scores his first big win here in Hardkore America!
(Meanwhile, backstage...)
Rated X: I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. Champions left weeping, confused and helpless because they couldn’t figure out how to beat me. My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people. I’m the monster living under your bed. I'm the shadows you see you when you’re trying to maintain. I’ll wrap a chair around your head and call you my million dollar baby, tac your ass to the wall so long they’ll call you Spiderman. King Kong ain’t got nothin’ on me. I train days like The Shootfighter.
Rated X: My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people. Bleeding is fundamental and I can tell by the smell that your weed ain’t shit. Andrew Karnage is bumpy like Hunglstein’s pants at a showing of Brokeback Mountain. I can’t wait to put the boots to your store bought muscles and your spray on tan. You’re soft like a cookie poppin’ fresh from the oven. I’ll use you like LuJo’s moms you fucking cum dumpster. Nothing is on the line, but after tonight I own you Karnage.
Rated X: Fuck it, I’m a dick. Let me leak the finish to the net: Karnage, from the top rope, head first through a flaming bag of shit sitting on a steel chair. It’s time to make Portland hot like Palm Springs is. My name is Rated X and I like to hurt people.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Up next is Andrew Sinclair vs. Jay St.Clair.
Phil Blauer: The match so nice they named it twice.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair has not been in the best of moods since James Fierce upset him for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship in his first title defense in Las Vegas. Tonight, he hopes to get back on track in a match with newcomer Jay St. Clair. Jay St. Clair has been making his bones over in SWAT Rocky Mountains as of late. It could be a case of who wants it more, as St.Clair's debut in Hardkore America could make him the hungrier of the two.
Every light in The Rose Garden is turned off as the facility is plunged into darkness. Then slowly, the opening chords of “Nothing But a Good Time” by Poison start to play. At 00:15, when the music starts to pick up, a burst of pyro goes off which is then followed by Orange and Black strobe lights flashing through the arena. This continues until the song hits 00:34 at which point the lights return to normal and out steps “Sexxxy” Jay St. Clair as he pushes the curtains aside.
“Now listen
Not a dime I can't pay my rent
I can barely make it thru the week”
He stands at the top of the ramp for a few seconds eyeing the crowd very carefully before throwing both his arms in the air in an “X” type fashion to which the crowd either roars or boos.
“Saturday night I like to make my girl
But right now I can't make ends meet”
He flashes us that million dollar smirk and then begins his strut down the rampway. Some of the women and sadly men start to cat-call the sexy one as he passes by them without a care in the world.
“I'm always workin', slavin' everyday
Gotta get a breaK From that same old, same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say”
He steps up onto the steel steps and wipes his feet on the apron before entering through the middle rope and doing the ol’ Rick Rude taunt where he puts his hands behind his head and twirls his hips. That alone receives a groundbreaking reaction from the crowd as roses and rolls of toilet paper are thrown in the ring.
“Don't need Nothin' But A Good Time
How can I resist
Ain't looking for Nothin' But A Good Time
And it don't get better than this”
After that, he removes his robe and hands it off to his entourage before climbing the middle rope and doing the “X” pose again. He then jumps off and awaits Andrew Sinclair
Phil Blauer: Wow, Poison as a theme song! I like this guy already.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's not to like? He recently won a Kings Court Battle Royale at the Centrum Arena Cedar City, Utah by eliminating Alexander Delvecchio in SWAT Rocky Mountains. Then in November he defeated Bad Boy King Kong in a singapore cane match.
Phil Blauer: Wow. When did beating Kong become an accomplishment?
Yolanda Ando: Jay St. Clair wears an Orange and Dark Blue silk robe running down to the ankles. Under that he wears black vinyl pants with two white stripes running down both legs. On the left leg, it spells “JAY” going down in between the stripes and the same is done for the right leg except it says “XXX”.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Sin City; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...'SEXXXY' JAY ST.CLAIR!!!"
The audience gives him a mixed reaction, with mostly cheers from women. Then "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones plays and Andrew Sinclair walks down to the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: One of the tag teams I can't wait to see in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament is Andrew Sinclair teaming up with "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa. Those two are gonna be tough to beat. Sinclair also has his rematch for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship against the winner of the Robert Hunglestien III & James Fierce at Palm Springs Punishment 2006. But none of that matters tonight, all that matters for Andrew Sinclair is getting through "Sexxxy" Jay St.Clair.
Phil Blauer: But you still have to watch out for that clothesline.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Sinclair wears a knee-length black and white Kobashi-style velvet robe. He also wears a black head band that trails down to his waist. Under that he wears wears black bicycle-short-style wrestling trunks that have a stylized white revolver emblazoned across the ass.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent hails from Sacramento, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds...'THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER' GONZO SINCLAIR!!!"
The fans boo Sinclair, as he stretches the ropes, ignoring them
Phil Blauer: I think the fans are letting him have it for vacating the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team titles he held with The Un-Stable. They have a special place in their hearts for those six man titles.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair whacks Sinclair in the chest with some hard knife edge chops. Sinclair fires back with some elbow smashes to St. Clair's face!
St.Clair ducks under one of the elbows and applies an abdominal stretch. He sticks his foot, and pulls back on Andrew Sinclair's arm causing him great pain
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair leans back on the abdominal stretch but no getting a submission out of Sinclair this early. So he rolls him up in a school boy cradle!
Phil Blauer: His feet are on the ropes!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair goes for a DDT but Sinclair reverses it into a fireman's carry. He runs into the center of the ring and drops him on his noggin with a death valley driver!!
Andrew Sinclair rebounds into the ropes and rolls into a koppo kick! He irish whips him but St.Clair reverses the whip and shoots him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair spinebusters Sinclair hard into the mat! He pulls Sinclair up and grabs him in a bearhug.
Phil Blauer: If anyone has to get a refill on their beer or anything. Now would be the time.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Never thought you'd ask! I'll be right back.
Phil Blauer: (calling after Guillermo) Wait! Wait! Don't leave, I don't know how to...uh, (taps his mic) Hello? Ok, let's give this a whirl. Uh, as Guillermo said, Jay St.Clair has him in a bighug type thingy.
Sinclair tries to punch his way out of it, but Jay St.Clair hangs on tight. He applies pressure to his lower back. Sinclair rakes his eyes and St.Clair finally drops him
Phil Blauer: Jay St.Clair begins kicking Sinclair in his lower back. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Shit, this is easy. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick. Another kick....
Guillermo O'Bannon: (brings back three sloshing plastic cups of beer) What I miss?
Phil Blauer: Me carrying your overrated ass once again.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair landing some stiff kicks to Sinclair's back. He pulls him up and goes for a suplex, but Sinclair blocks it with his calf. He reverses it with a uranage!
He flips St.Clair across the ring with a karelin lift! He drops a standing headbutt in between St.Clair's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair rolls out of the way of a kneedrop. He rolls Sinclair up in an inside cradle!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair irish whips Sinclair into the ropes, and drops him facefirst in a flapjack!
The women in The Rose Garden scream for Jay St.Clair as he stomps the back of Andrew Sinclair's head repeatedly. He lifts Sinclair up in an electric chair
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair drops back in an ocean cyclone suplex!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair irish whips Sinclair to the ropes. He dips down for a backdrop, but Sinclair blocks it and counters with a guillotine choke! Sinclair squeezes up on St.Clair's throat with the front facelock while contricting his body with those powerful legs.
St.Clair tries to get his fingers in between Sinclair's arm but no luck. The Straight Shooter clamps down on his opponent's windpipe while Mike Peters checks to see if he wants to tap out
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair gets back up to his feet and punches his way out of the guillotine choke. He lifts Sinclair up in a suplex, then drops his feet on the top rope to hit a slingshot falcon arrow!! What a manuever!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Sinclair gets his shoulder up)
The audience applauds the slingshot falcon arrow, while St.Clair tries to catch his breath. Andrew Sinclair gets up and tags Jay in the chest with a soccer kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair irish whips St.Clair into the ropes and catches him under the chin with a flying kneelift!
The crowd boos while Sinclair raises his fist and shouts "OH!" He climbs to the top turnbuckle, but St. Clair shakes the ropes and crotches him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair climbs to the second turnbuckle and lifts him up in a fireman's carry. He samoan drops Sinclair off the top rope!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Andrew Sinclair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair shoots Sinclair into the ropes and spins into a discus lariot!
Phil Blauer: It reminds me of a Popeye move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair gets tripped up by a sambo takedown, and then Andrew Sinclair capitalizes with an achilles heel hold! He stands over St.Clair leaning back with his ankle in his arms.
St.Clair refuses to quit, even when Andrew Sinclair wraps his legs around St.Clair's leg and drops to the mat. Jay St.Clair reaches out and grabs the rope and Peters forces Sinclair to release the achilles hold
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sinclair nods his head to Peters, and yanks St.Clair by the leg to the center of the ring. He drops back into a hizajujigatame kneebar!
Phil Blauer: In Las Vegas, James Fierce worked down Sinclair's arm for much of the match. This loss could have reminded Sinclair to stay on track with his mat style. Or not. I'm just riffin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair wrenches up on St.Clair's leg, trying to break it at the knee. St.Clair is clutching his hair, in total agony but will not submit!
The ladies in the audience clap faster & faster, trying to root St.Clair on. But Andrew Sinclair has the hizajujigatame locked in. Sinclair releases the kneebar and waits for St.Clair to sit up
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair runs into the ropes and smashes St.Clair in the face with a Caution: Do Not Stop on the Tracks knee to the face!!
A couple ladies get pretty mad at Andrew Sinclair screaming "Not the face!" He turns around and steps on the second rope, asking them if they wanna step in the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair limps up from behind and drops Sinclair with an orton backbreaker!
Phil Blauer: Jay St.Clair has been going to the lower back like McDonald's goes to the McRib.
Guillermo O'Bannon: St.Clair applies a full nelson, jerking Sinclair around the ring from side to side. He links his fingers together and presses Sinclair's chin into his chest.
Mike Peters asks Andrew Sinclair if he wants to submit. He shakes his head as best he can. St.Clair changes the full nelson into an inverted russian legsweep
Guillermo O'Bannon: Gonorrhea!!
Phil Blauer: Ahh!!! Where? I got it from you?!? You know you can't trust those free clinics baby, they're all out to hate on a player's game.
Guillermo O'Bannon: That's the name of the move, Phil.
Phil Blauer: I knew that. Fuckin clinics.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jay St.Clair goes for a suplex, but Sinclair blocks it by wrapping his leg around St.Clair's. He reverses it with a vertical suplex of his own and then drops his face on Sinclair's knee!! Go To the ER!!
Sinclair smirks at the newfound boos he has, and climbs to the top rope. He drops a kneedrop in between St.Clair's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bombs Away!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Jay St.Clair kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair scoops St.Clair up and drills him on his head with a northern lights bomb!! Instead of hooking the leg, he pushes St.Clair up into a sitting position, and flips over into a cattle mutilation! The Straight Shot!!
Mike Peters asks St.Clair if he wants to submit. He checks his options, then submits. Peters signals for the bell, and "Monkey Man" by The Rolling Stones fills The Rose Garden
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 10 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, 'THE STRAIGHT SHOOTER' GONZO SINCLAIR!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Sinclair gets a little momentum going into his Palm Springs Punishment 2006 Main Event!
Phil Blauer: But Jay St.Clair showed us something as well. His Gonorrhea!
Sinclair raises his arm and walks down the aisle
**commercial**
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HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
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BROUGHT TO YOU BY ANABOLOPLEX, A SUBSIDIARY OF GENETICORP. MAY CAUSE BLOATING, CONSTIPATION, IRRITATION, PROCRASTINATION, MASTERBATION, YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE ANABOLOPLEX IF YOU'RE PREGNANT OR TRYING TO GET PREGNENT. MAY CAUSE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND DILLUSIONS OF GRANDURE IN SOME.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match, I've been waiting for all night. Andrew Karnage gets his shot at Rated X, a man who's harder to beat then the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. If anyone can do it, it's the AK-47.
Andrew Karnage walks down to the ring with the Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team Championship strapped around his waist. He slaps a few hands on the way down the aisle but seems very focused
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage is coming off a six month tag team title reign with Robert Hunglestien III, something rare in today's Hardkore America. But Hunglestien left their team, but had the decency not to attack his partner doing it. Something else that's pretty rare these days.
Phil Blauer: Speaking of rare, where's the tunes, man? No lyrics about the darkness of my mind while we go through every motion he makes down to the ring? What a jip.
Yolanda Ando: Andrew Karnage wears some black knee length basketball shorts with AK-47 down the outsides of each leg in dark red. Dark red kneepads, and black calf high boots with red laces, and has a black elbow supporter on his right elbow.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 257 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...ANDREW KARNAGE!!!"
The crowd cheers. Karnage jogs in place. "Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot plays and the place goes absolutely nuts. Andrew Karnage warns Ron Reid of all the things Rated X does. Rated X steps through the curtain with his dinged up bloody steel chair with a white "X" painted across the seat
Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes the former Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion Rated X! You can hardly here yourself think in here.
Phil Blauer: My doctor's advised me that loud noises can irreperably damage my hair.
Yolanda Ando: Rated X is wearing some black trunks, black boots and his signature black mask with a white X on it. His chest, arms, and back are covered in Yakuza style tattoos.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is from Parts Unknown, Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds...RATED X!!!"
The crowd rocks The Rose Garden as Rated X holds his chair up in the air. Ron Reid signals for the bell
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X lays into Andrew Karnage with some chops! He does a few overhand chops to Karnage's face & head!
Rated X rocks Karnage against the ropes with a chop. He backs up and charges Karnage, but AK-47 belly to belly suplexes him over the ropes to the floor below
Phil Blauer: It's getting Outside the Perimeter of Extreme!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Trying out new catch phrases, sir?
Phil Blauer: Commentating is a living breathing thing, Matthew.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage climbs out of the ring, but Rated X rakes his eyes. X grabs him by the hair and smashes his face into the corner post!!
Andrew Karnage begins bleeding, as he leans against the ringpost. Rated X grabs his X Chair and smashes Karnage's sandwhiched head with it
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs Karnage in a headlock, and running bulldogs his throat on the guardrail!!
Rated X's feet kick a fan in the face on the way over the railing. X tries to pull Karnage over the security fence, but Karnage flips him over the guardrail onto the floor with an exploder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage double underhooks Rated X's arms and drops his head on the concrete with a Tiger Buster!!
Andrew Karnage irish whips Rated X but X reverses it and shoots Karnage into the guardrail! Rated X grabs the timekeeper's bell off of Ron De La O's table
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X charges Karnage against the railing and smashes him in the face with a timekeeper's bell!
Phil Blauer: And Karnage is Brained by the Bell!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Good one, sir.
Rated X drops the bell and DDTs Andrew Karnage's face on the timekeeper's bell!! Karnage rolls over with a broken nose and blood streaming down his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: He takes that X Chair and places it over Andrew Karnage's throat, choking him with the bottom rung.
Phil Blauer: Do chairs have rungs?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage kicking his feet out from a lack of oxygen. He grabs the bottom of the chair and uses that brute strength to push the top of the chair up into Rated X's chin! Andrew Karnage head & arm suplexes Rated X's back into the apron!
Rated X clutches his back while Andrew Karnage checks his nose. He rolls Rated X up onto the apron and climbs up himself. Karnage fireman's carries X up onto his shoulders
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage running death valley drivers Rated X off the apron to the floor below!!
The Portland crowd cheers and chants "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Andrew Karnage german suplexes the back of Rated X's head into apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage dragon suplexes Rated X on the floor!! He pulls him up into a straightjacket and nails him with The Pride Cycle in the aisleway!
Andrew Karnage pulls a table out from underneath the ring and sets it up in the corner of the guardrail. He irish whips Rated X but he reverses it and shoots Andrew Karnage into the table
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage breaks some of that table with his shoulder. Rated X hits him with some more of those blunt chops, chasing Karnage up the rampway. Their now exchanging chops and punches on the top of the ramp. Rated X scoops Karnage up and fallaway slams him off the ramp into the 24th row of fans!!!
The crowd scatters like roaches when the light comes on as Karnage crashes into a few rows of seating! The fans chant "RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!!" Rated X hops down and then lifts Karnage up in a human torture rack
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X drives Andrew Karnage's head onto the seat of one of those standing chairs with a Palm Springs Driver!! He grabs a fan by the head and DDTs him on Karnage's broken nose!!
Karnage clutches his nose, and bleeds all over The Rose Garden floor. Rated X climbs to the top of the rampway again. Karnage gets up and grabs him by the arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage flips Rated X off the ramp into an owendriver iconoclasm on the concrete!!
Phil Blauer: It's how Owen Hart would have liked to have broken Steve Austin's neck, if he had to do it all over again.
The fans cheer and chant "KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!! KAR-NAGE!!" Karnage rolls him onto the rampway. Andrew Karnage climbs onto the ramp, and scoops him up on his shoulder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage running powerslams Rated X through the curtain into the backstage area!!
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage learning Rated X's style of match and improving on it! He's like a Super Computer. (turns around to the audience) No one play chess with it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage tiger suplexes Rated X in the gorilla position! X has a long history of neck problems that have forced him to retire twice.
Rated X rolls around, clutching the back of his neck. Karnage pulls him up and pushes him up against the wall. He cracks him in the face with several stiff forearms across his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: That last forearm drops Rated X on his ass. Andrew Karnage twists the bottom of his boot against X's face a few times.
Phil Blauer: Excellent strategy. Rated X has elected to wear a mask in this match so as to render the Facewash useless. It's like his entire career has been for this very moment.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: We're a part of history, sir.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X smashes in the glass case with the firehose in it. He pulls out the fire hose, grabs the metal hose nossle and cracks Karnage on the top of the head with it!
Karnage clutches the top of his head. Rated X wraps the fire hose around Karnage's neck, but Karnage tosses the back of his head into Rated X's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage t-bone suplexes Rated X into a locker!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: If it's my locker, pay no attention to the muscle magazines. I just read them for the articles.
Karnage pulls Rated X up, but Rated X rams him into a Coke machine! X bulldogs Karnage's head into the soda machine over & over until a few cokes & Dr.Pepper fall out
Phil Blauer: Dibs!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X opens up a coke and pours it over Karnage's head.
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: The mixture of soda, sweat, and blood make for a gruesome if not delicious mixture.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X crushes the can on Karnage's head and then tears the can in half. He uses the shredded can to cut into Karnage's face & forehead with the sharp aluminum.
The screams of Karnage are echoing through the quiet halls of The Rose Garden. Rated X tries to piledrive him but Karnage reverses it into an alabama slammer onto the locker room bench
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage gut wrenches Rated X up on his shoulder and uses his head to open the backstage door! He walks a few steps and then ligerbombs Rated X on the steps to the Rose Garden!!
A few fans and hangers on react with surprise as this match spills out to the wrestler's parking lot. Karnage sets Rated X up in a russian legsweep on the steps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage & Rated X backflip into an air raid crash off the steps onto the asphalt!!
Phil Blauer: Andrew Karnage giving Rated X a more brutal match than he's had since he returned to wrestling. This harkens back to Cyrus vs. Rated X or Rated X vs...uh, I don't know, did he fight Sean Hawk?
Rated X rolls around clutching his knee. Andrew Karnage pulls him up by the mask and irish whips him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X reverses the irish whip and shoots Andrew Karnage into our production truck!!
Karnage leaves a large blood smear on the white production van. Rated X grabs a hold of his bloody hair and draws an X on the side of the van
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X stomping Andrew Karnage's head in the parking lot like when Phil tried to sneak into Cirque De Soleil.
Phil Blauer: That sad clown is quick with the back of his hand.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage onto the hood of Bad Boy King Kong's Ford Festiva. He pulls him up in a front facelock and DDT's his skull through the windshield!!
Rated X drags Andrew Karnage onto the roof of the Ford Festiva. He pulls Karnage's head into his legs then piledrives Karnage's skull through the top of that roof
Phil Blauer: Bad Boy King Kong had just made his last payment!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage hits X low! He pulls X into his legs and black tigerbombs him from the roof of the Ford Festiva onto the hood!!
Rated X screams in agony, and rolls off of the hood onto the asphalt. Andrew Karnage pulls him up and drags him over to the steps. He lifts him up and dangerous backdrop suplexes him on the concrete steps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls him up the stairs and back into the backstage door, but Rated X pops him in the face with a sharp back elbow.
Rated X grabs the mandatory giant mounted portrait of Hardkore Jonnie Valentine on the wall
Phil Blauer: Hey, I painted that!
Guillermo O'Bannon: It's a photograph, Phil.
Phil Blauer: No, see the little mustache and devil horns?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X smashes Karnage over the head with that picture!! He goes over to the craft services table...
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Not my fried pretzel bites! I was letting them marinate in drawn butter!
X grabs a fork and stabs it in Andrew Karnage's arm! Over & over he plunges the kitchen utensil into Karnage's bicep. Rated X then grabs a cheese grater
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X DDTs Karnage on a cheese grater!!
Phil Blauer: Ew, why do we even have that thing?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Jonnie likes the cheese on his pepperoni & crackers to be freshly grated. Anything else gets you a kick in the nuts, and road trip with The Shootfighter. Try changing the radio when that guy's listening to Heart.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs a pizza cutter and goes for Karnage, but he backs the masked man off with a couple of stiff forearms. He gets behind Rated X and applies a kataha-jime on him. He liquifies our craft services table with The Lobotomy Suplex!!
Rated X is covered in ranch dressing. Karnage pulls him up by the mask and drags him through the curtain. He half nelsons Rated X and grabs him by the leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage wrist-clutch fisherman’s busters Rated X on the rampway!!
The crowd cheers wildly, partly because it's the first time in six minutes they've been able to actually see the match. A blood drenched Andrew Karnage pulls a ranch dressing drenched Rated X up by the mask again and rolls him back into the ring. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage flies off the top with a gran hamada headbutt to Rated X's temple!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage grabs X's leg and turns him over into a single leg boston crab! He leans back while standing on the back of Rated X's head.
Ron Reid checks in to see if Rated X wants to tap out but he refuses. He then says "Ron! Ron! Whatever your thinking of doing...don't" But Ron can't help himself and runs a finger down X's back and licks the ranch dressing
Phil Blauer: Wether it's the pain or the disgust of Ron eating off him, Rated X powers out of the half crab!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage thinks X tapped and argues with Ron Reid.
Phil Blauer: He can't hear nothin', he's in ranch bliss!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X sneaks up behind him and cradles him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Both men back up to a vertical base, and Karnage grabs Rated X by the throat!
The fans cheer as Rated X tries to talk his way out of this. Karnage lifts him up in a chokeslam and then drives him down onto his knee in a backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Choke-breaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs two handfuls of Andrew Karnage's blood soaked hair and pulls his head down in front of him. He kicks Karnage in the face repeatedly!
Phil Blauer: Rated X is going to his happy place!
After the last kick, Karnage seems to pass out to his side. Rated X rolls out of the ring and retrieves his X Chair. He slides it into the ring and sets it up in the center
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X hangman neckbreakers the back of Karnage's head on the back of that X Chair!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X climbs to the top turnbuckle from inside the ring, but Karnage is up and crotches X on the turnbuckle, facing the audience. He climbs up behind Rated X and sits behind him, wrapping his legs around the ropes. Andrew Karnage applies a kataha-jime to Rated X and falls backward into a spider suplex called The Black Market Lobotomy!!
The Rose Garden erupts and a dueling chant starts of "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Karnage hangs upside down in the corner, bleeding a puddle of blood underneath his head & stabbed arm
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage steps over Rated X's leg and applies an STF!!
Phil Blauer: It's shoot style vs. garbage style! The fight we've been waiting for since Mr. Pogo & The Headhunters ditched Dan Severn at the Cherry Hill Mall!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage trying to tear Rated X's head off, and let the pounding both men took in that parking lot pay off with Rated X's second tap out of his career!
The crowd continues to chant "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Meanwhile Ron Reid repeatedly asks Rated X if he wants to submit
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage releases the STF and pulls him up for a russian legsweep. Rated X gets loose and blasts Karnage in his broken nose with an elbow smash. He grabs hold of the X Chair and bends the frame on Karnage's skull!!
The Portland fans erupt as the sound of Karnage's unprotected chair shot rings through The Rose Garden. Rated X slides a table into the ring and leans it against the turnbuckles
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X pulls Karnage up and running powerbombs him through the table in the corner!! He cradles the leg and Reid makes the count!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X sits on Andrew Karnage's chest and places his thumbs against either side of Karnage's large laceration over his eye. He spreads Karnage's cut as wide as he can....ew...ew...ew...take a wide shot, Mann!
Rated X drives a couple of elbow shots to Karnage's cut to open it even wider. Karnage rolls Rated X off his chest into a sunset flip
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Rated X claps his legs on Andrew Karnage's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage lifts Rated X up and drops him like a bag of hammers with a stiff sambo suplex!
Andrew Karnage applies a crippler crossface with Rated X's other arm chicken winged behind him. Rated X screams bloody murder but shakes his head when Reid asks if he quits
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage has The Pain Killer EX locked in perfectly!
Phil Blauer: What's the EX about? Has the AK-47 been hurt before? Is that really Rated X he's trying to maim, or someone who dared talked about his shrivled raisins of love?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage pulls up on Rated X's head & arm while bending that other arm up towards his head.
Phil Blauer: The former Hardkore World Champion should find a way out of this quickly or figure out how to jerk off with his feet.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage pulls him up by the mask and scoops him up. He swings him around into a catatonic backbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage thinks he has this thing won again, but Ron Reid explaining to him about the rope rule.
Phil Blauer: You'd think he'd know that one by now.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs two handfuls of Andrew Karnage's hair and tosses him through the ropes to the guardrail!! X climbs out into the front row of the audience, then rude awakenings the back of Karnage's head into the railing!
The sound of Karnage's head ringing off that security rail rings through The Rose Garden. Rated X sets up a table next to the apron while the dueling chant starts back up. "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage onto the apron. He gets up there with him and scoops AK-47 up. He runs down the apron and tombstone piledrives Karnage through the table on the floor!!
The older fans drown out the younger ones with "RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!!" Rated X rolls Andrew Karnage into the ring and splits his head open with heel kicks and stomps
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage spits a black mist into Rated X's eyes!!
Phil Blauer: Who does he think he is? Matthew?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Yes, sir?
Phil clutches his throat and then sprays a green mist in Boone's eyes. He shrieks and covers his eyes, blinded. Blauer, then gives the camera the "one moment" sign and spits a yellow mist in Boone's eyes. Boone screams even louder
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: WHY??? WHY???
Yolanda Ando: Very nice, Phil. Where'd you learn that?
Phil Blauer: I was imbedded with The Great Kabuki during his run from Great Muta's mother for child support.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X staggering around blinded, and Andrew Karnage runs into the ropes. He flips Rated X over in a Nightmare Lariot!!
It's deafening in The Rose Garden as Rated X flips him over and makes the cover
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X gets his foot on the ropes)
Phil Blauer: Again, Rated X is saved by the ropes! Give them the assist.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage applies a giant octopus! He presses Rated X's head down with those powerful legs, while twisting & stretching every concievable muscle X has.
Ron Reid asks him if he wants to tap but X only has the strength to shake his head "no". Rated X gets loose and hiptosses Andrew Karnage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X inverted facelocks Andrew Karnage and lifts him up & over in The Black Out!! A tribute to his feud with Cyrus Williams!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Andrew Karnage kicks out)
The audience gives a standing ovation for such an outstanding match. The fans start up the "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X picks up his chair, but Karnage bounces into the ropes and yakuza kicks the chair into Rated X's face!! He steps over karnage's back and applies a cobra clutch camel clutch! The Sphynx Clutch!!
Ron Reid asks Rated X if he wants to submit but he shakes his head no. The Portland fans continue to chant "LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!! LET'S GO KARNAGE!! ~ LET'S GO X!!" Karnage leans back with Rated X's head & arm, rocking back on his spine
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (clutching his eyes) Why isn't anyone doing anything?!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage realizes he's not gonna get the man to tap out twice in his career and lets him fall limper to the mat then sex with Phil with no rope around his neck. He lifts Rated X up in a vertical suplex then drops him in his Karnage Crush Bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Rated X claps his legs together on Karnage's head)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Karnage goes for a Whiplash Spinebuster, but Rated X rolls over into a sunset flip!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Andrew Karnage claps his legs together on Rated X's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X pulls Karnage's head into his legs and lifts him up into a swinging powerbomb on the seat of his X Chair!!
Karnage sits in the steel chair, bleeding down his front. Rated X lifts him up in a human torture rack, then flips him over headfirst into a burning hammer
Guillermo O'Bannon: Palm Springs Driver!! Rated X rolls out of the ring and pulls a strand of barbed wire out from underneath the ring.
Phil Blauer: If you value your dry cleaning, run!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (blinded) What? What's happening! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls into the ring and sits on Andrew Karnage's back. He wraps the barbed wire around Andrew Karnage's neck and applies a barbed wire camel clutch!!!
The Portland crowd gasps as Rated X rocks back with the strand of the barbed wire. Blood streams down Karnage's neck, and his eyes roll into the back of his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: This was the old finisher of Ghandi the Butcher, former rival of Rated X back in 1996! Ron Reid lifts Karnage's arm but he's passed out from blood loss!
Ron Reid signals for the bell and "Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot blares throughout The Rose Garden. The crowd blows up, giving Rated X the biggest pop of the night. Kilroy Evans and Adrian Tanner Jr. runs down to the ring to help EMTs give Karnage some medical attention
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 53 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH...RATED X!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X defeats Andrew Karnage in a match of the year candidate tonight! He goes back to Palm Springs where he teams up with Soutter in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. Karnage is headed there as well, with his partner Adrian Tanner Jr.
Kilroy Evans can't stand what Rated X did to his longtime partner and hits him with a diamond cutter
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits The Bad Touch on Rated X!!
Kilroy points in Rated X's unconcious face and gives him a talking to. Adrian Tanner Jr. helps the EMTs load Andrew Karnage onto the stretcher
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Un-Stable helps Karnage to the back after this helacious night where Rated X scores a huge win in his comeback!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is the first ever Conneticut Chain Match.
Phil Blauer: How does it differ from the Russian Chain Match?
Guillermo O'Bannon: The chain is from Conneticut.
Suddenly, Fear Factory's "Archetype" blasts through the speakers and the fans jump to their feet in anticipation of their hero's arrival. Three seconds into the song, violently loud pyros are projected into the air and huge letters in neon lights flash near the entrance. It reads: PPB. Then, a muscular silhouette walks beneath the giant P near the entrance and stands between the huge pyrotechnics. The stranger is now raising both of his arms up as if he were victorious. It is Platinum Pat Bozzini. Numerous strobes of different colors are beaming inside of the squared circle and over the fans as if the arena was a discotheque. Platinum adjusts his right elbow pad and then, he proceeds to get up on the ring apron and he jumps over the top rope to enter the ring in an athletic way. Platinum climbs on the nearest turnbuckle and points toward himself while screaming that he is the best. He quickly raises his arms again with an air of superiority. He takes off his shirt and prepares himself for battle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pat had a successful Hardkore Debut in Las Vegas, defeating another UCW alum, Legacy. Then at the Gwinnett Center in Georgia, Pat and his brother, John recently lost a tough match to "The Saviour of Professional Wrestling" David Sadler & Lee Williams. Later on in that show they attacked R.C. & Dieudonne Cloutier.
Phil Blauer: Oooh, French Canadian fight. I wonder what it was over? Did someone insult someone elses pea soup?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (checks his index cards) I lost the one with the angle on it, so sure. After tonight, he goes on to Palm Springs, California where he teams with "The Sensational" Shawn Styles in the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. But tonight he focuses on dragging Sun across all four corners of this ring.
Yolanda Ando: Bozzini is wearing tight and long tights which are black on one leg and silver/gold on the other leg. "Platinum" is written on one leg in platinum and has a roaring Cerberus in platinum on the side of the other leg. Red droplets of blood can be seen surrounding the different symbols on both legs. On the back of his tights, it is written "The Feature Presentation" in black.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is a Conneticut Chain Match. The match can only end when one wrestler tags all four corners. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 225 pounds; He is The Current UCW Triple Crown World Champion...'PLATINUM' PAT BOZZINI!!!"
The fans give him a mixed reaction. "Thesis of a Cruel Angel" by Yoko Takahashi plays and the Portland fans go wild. Sun walks out, swinging the chain over his head, mistakenly taking out Phil on the way down to the ring
Phil Blauer: My eye! Mother of God!!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun lost a close match to "The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi in Vegas last month. If not for the help JoJo got from his father & midget counterpart, we would be looking at a new Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion.
Phil Blauer: Why are you just sitting there?? My eye is hanging out of my skull!!!
Yolanda Ando: Sun is wearing a yellow martial arts gi and a “vega” style mask. The Mask is white with a red dot in the center mimicking the Japanese Flag. He wears two Shuko Ninja Claws on each hands and carries a bag of Martial Arts weapons.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent is from Cheshire, Connecticut; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 190 pounds...SUN!!!"
The audience cheers wildly. Mike Peters straps the chain to "Platinum" Pat Bozzini's wrist and signals for the bell
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls him in by the chain and wheel kicks Pat in the face!
Pat clutches his face and complains to Mike Peters. Meanwhile Sun is wrapping the chain around his fist
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun swings at him with that chain, but Bozzini ducks underneath. He folds Sun like an accordian with a release tigerplex!
Bozzini picks him up for a back suplex but Sun flips behind him onto his feet. He wraps the chain around his fist again, and bashes Bozzini in the face with a spinning punch!! Bozzini falls to the mat, busted open
Phil Blauer: The match is younger than Gary Glitter's bedpost notches but we already have some juice!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun runs into the ropes and flips Bozzini over in a flying head scissors! Bozzini gets back to his feet and grabs hold of the chain. He whips the chain, and Sun, across the ring by the arm!
Sun staggers up to his feet, and Bozzini swings him to the other side of the ring by the chain. Sun gets up while Bozzini tightens the chain around his wrist and flips Sun to the mat with it again
Guillermo O'Bannon: Pat Bozzini full nelsons him and drops him to the mat with a perfectly executed release dragon suplex he calls the Platinum 99-plex!
Pat Bozzini climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Sun grabs the chain and pulls him off the ropes to the mat below! Sun walks up behind him and wraps the chain around Sun's throat
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun choking Bozzini with that Conneticut Chain around his neck! He sticks his knee in Pat's back, and pulls back with the chain, turning Pat's neck beet red.
Mike Peters looks on helplessly, but asks Sun to lighten up. Sun pulls a bloody Bozzini up and irish whips him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun nearly takes Bozzini's head off with a big boot!
The crowd erupts! Sun spins his hand and cups his hand to his ear, and the Portland fans cheer louder. He runs into the ropes and drops the big leg across "Platinum" Pat Bozzini's face. Sun gets up and has a large blood smear staining his yellow gui pant leg
Phil Blauer: One big reason Hogan didn't wear pants until his knees became too embarrassing.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun tags a turnbuckle! He walks over to the other corner and tags the second one.
Fans: "TWO!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun tries to get to the third corner but Pat is pulling back on the chain. He yanks Sun back into him by the chain into a full nelson. He drops backwards into a russian legsweep!
Pat Bozzini pulls Sun's head into his legs and then lifts him up in a styles clash, he spins around a little for effect, and then drops down the Symphony of Sorrow
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Platinum" Pat Bozzini butterflies Sun's arms and then tosses him across the ring with a double underhook suplex!
Bozzini half nelsons Sun, and lifts him up into a t-bone suplex, then drops it into a michinoku driver II
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Crystal Drop!! Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's wrist a few times and drags him to the first turnbuckle.
Fans shout "ONE!" Bozzini walks to the second corner and tags the turnbuckle and the crowd screams in unison "TWO!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini drags Sun to the third corner and slaps the turnbuckle.
Phil Blauer: According to my calculations, one more and Bozzini is Conneticut State Cruiserweight Champion! They're rough calculations.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun puts the brakes on! He wraps the chain around his fist and smashes Bozzini in the face with it again!!
The crowd leaps to their feet as Bozzini spins around the ring, blood streaming down his face like a fountain. Sun bounces into the ropes and pops Pat in the back of the head with an axe kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls Bozzini's head into his legs and drives his mug into the mat with a facefirst piledriver! Bozzini's left a large blood stain on the canvas.
Phil Blauer: I'm not cleaning that up. Matthew?
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'm on it!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wait till the match is over, Boone. Sun applies an abdominal stretch. He plants his foot and pulls back on Bozzini's arm, straining his side.
Sun grabs the chain and uses it to punch Bozzini's side over & over. Sun turns it into a double arm DDT
Phil Blauer: There's another blood stain. I'd give style points if Sun wrote my name with Bozzini's face.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun handsprings into a bodyface but Bozzini catches him and drops him into a backbreaker. He inverted facelocks Sun, but Sun reaches up and scratches Bozzini's eyes to escape! He bounces into the ropes and drops Bozzini with a bicycle kick!
The Portland audience applauds the exchange. Sun sits Bozzini on the top turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini grabs a few links of chain and smashes Sun in the face with some stiff closed fists! Sun drops to the ring below with a large laceration over his eye! Bozzini finds his footing and catches Sun right on the botton with a dropkick off the top rope!!
The crowd applauds both men as they lie next to one another, exhausted and bleeding. Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's throat while pulling his arm behind him in a chicken wing
Phil Blauer: Pat Bozzini with a chicken wing chainface! It's like a crossface with half the effort. Like anything Christian does.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini trying to crush Sun's throat with that long steel chain, meanwhile he tries to break his arm with the hammerlock.
Phil Blauer: Is it something he said?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini yanks on that chain, pressing the links into Sun's windpipe. Sun gets to his feet, grabs onto the chain and flips Bozzini over his shoulder! He monkey flips Pat Bozzini across the ring!
The Rose Garden comes alive! Sun grabs the chain and clotheslines Bozzini with it!! He sits him up and wraps the chain around Bozzini's neck. Sun flips over Bozzini's shoulder, pulling his head towards his legs
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun handsprings into a splash but Bozzini puts his knees up into his stomach. He pulls Sun into his legs, he lifts him up into a cradle piledriver and then sits down into the Priceless Driver!!
The impact sits a bloody Sun up before he falls back down. Bozzini wraps the chain around Sun's neck and falls behind him in a choke. He pulls back on the chain as Sun fruitlessly grasps for the ropes as blood runs into his eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini trying to strangle Sun with that chain so it'll be easy to drag his dead carcas to all four corners.
Phil Blauer: When did this stop being a sport?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini double underhooks Sun's arms again, lifting him up into a spinning brainbuster he calls The Brain Storm!!
Sun lies on the mat, bleeding a basketball sized pool of blood next to him. Pat Bozzini pulls Sun up and back suplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini wraps the chain around his forearm but Sun ducks underneath The Technicality and answer with The Roundhouse Kick!
The fans cheer. Sun vaults over the ropes onto the apron. He pulls onto the top rope and slingshots himself over it onto Bozzini with a splash
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun sticks his knees into Bozzini's back and rolls him up into a bow & arrow, with the chain around Pat's throat! He uses that unforgiving chain to pull his head back while pulling his legs as well.
Bozzini cries out in agony as his spine is bent across Sun's knees. Blood flows from Pat's forehead into a small puddle on the mat underneath him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun pulls him up for a suplex, but Bozzini blocks it. He reverses it into a snap suplex! He straightens out the chain and clotheslines Sun with it!
After falling to the canvas, Sun sits up with both hands covering this throat; coughing & gagging. Meanwhile Pat Bozzini is climbing to the top turnbuckle. Bozzini wraps the chain around his elbow
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini frog splashes into an elbow drop with that chain that's called The Bastard Sword!!
Phil Blauer: Why?
Guillermo O'Bannon: (shrugs) I dunno. Bozzini atomic drops Sun on the top turnbuckle facing the audience. He wraps the chain around Sun's throat, and runs him out of the corner with a running Shattered Hopes rude awakening!!
Bozzini keeps the chain wrapped around Sun's neck and drags him to the first corner, tagging the turnbuckle. The audience screams "ONE!", Sun tags it as Bozzini drags him past
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini swinging for the fences here. He drags Sun to the second corner and tags it as well!
The fans scream "TWO!!" Sun smacks the bottom turnbuckle as well. Pat drags him to the third corner and tags it and The Rose Garden shouts "THREE!!" Sun reaches out and tags it
Guillermo O'Bannon: Bozzini goes for the fourth and final corner but Sun puts the breaks on. Bozzini tugging on the chain, squeezing the life out of Sun, but the Nutmeg State Native not budging!
"The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi runs out of the audience and grabs Sun by the boot! JoJo jumps up on the apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: JoJo Sushi drops Sun's throat on the top rope from the apron, and Bozzini tags the final corner!!
Mike Peters signals for the bell and Fear Factory's "Archetype" plays through The Rose Garden
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 12 minutes 54 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, 'PLATINUM' PAT BOZZINI!!!"
Pat Bozzini demands Mike Peters unhook him from the chain around his wrist. Peters does and a blood drenched Bozzini rolls out of the ring to retrieve his UCW Triple Crown belt
Guillermo O'Bannon: With some help from JoJo Sushi, Bozzini puts this important win in his pocket and will now go to Palm Springs where he & "The Sensational" Shawn Styles will represent GCW in the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament at hallowed Hardkore Hall.
Phil Blauer: Good, I think I left my cell phone there last time we were there in December. Hopefully it's still there. My Mom was sick back then and I haven't been able to check my voicemail. Hope she's alright?
JoJo Sushi and his father Tojo laugh at Sun while backing their way up the aisle. Sun glares at them while wrapping the chain around his fist
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sun teams up with the tag team great Kilroy Evans in that same tournament but right now, I bet he's thinking about his long awaited rematch against Hardkore World Light Heavyweight Champion "The Big Ragoo" JoJo Sushi at Palm Springs Punishment 2006 on pay-per-view in a steel cage!
A bloody Bozzini staggers out of The Rose Garden with his UCW World Triple Crown title belt lofted high above his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Last month in Las Vegas, Lonewolf McNeely scored his first singles title in quite some time by defeating Soutter in a brutal barbed wire match. For his first title match he has David Sadler, a man who has won dozens of championships on both continents.
Phil Blauer: And what continents would they be?
Guillermo O'Bannon: North America and Europe.
Phil Blauer: Those are good ones.
A huge countdown clock appears on the Hardkoretron and a voice starts to talk
Voice: "David Sadler will steal the show in 5 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 4 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 3 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show in 2 seconds
David Sadler will steal the show……………………
Boom fireworks shoot from the ramp! The words spoken by David Sadler echo around the arena “I have toiled and bled and now it is time to show you the very meaning of reality” "Liberate" by Disturbed then hits the speakers as David walks out on the ramp and the camera shoots to a close up of him. He looks at the crowd side to side. David makes a couple of steps forward as two pyros shoot off fireworks and flame besides him. He then continues down the ramp and then to the ring. He climbs up the steps slowly and when he reaches the top step he looks over at the Portland crowd for a few seconds. He then makes his way through the ropes and walks across the ring to the opposite turnbuckle which he climbs and spreads his arms and looks into the sky from
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler is an accomplished technical wrestler who will give Lonewolf McNeely a completely different match than the barbed wire one he had with Soutter. For Sadler he's going to have to keep this match on the mat, and ground McNeely's ariel assault.
Yolanda Ando: David Sadler wears baggy cut off jean shorts. He wears black knee and elbow pads and white boots with black trim. Pale skinned with blue eyes, long brown hair and clean shaven. The UCW Tag Team title belt is strapped around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WEST COAST TITLE! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first from Ipswich, England; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is One Half of the UCW World Tag Team Champions...'THE SAVIOUR OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING' DAVID SADLER!!!"
Sounds of a crying woman are heard as we then see pyro going off to and the arena lights begin to flicker. Blood lines stream down the video tron. Then "See You Dead" by Helmet begins playing and Lonewolf McNeely walks out with a noose in his hand. He jumps on the ropes and pulls out a knife from his shorts and slices it across his chest and draws a smile amount of blood as he enters the ring. He yells at the referee and gives two fingers to the fans at ringside spitting more blood on the ground
Phil Blauer: He should just cut the same cut over & over. It would save him on scar tissue.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely on the hot track right now, scoring a big title win in Vegas and helping Robert Hunglestien III turn on his stablemates. Now, anyone with a problem with Hunglestien, also has a problem with that noose of Lonewolf McNeely's.
Yolanda Ando: Lonewolf McNeely wearing some black leather shorts with Rain's name in blood on the rear, black boots with a wolf on the sides and black fringer hanging off the sides.
Phil Blauer: Why does he still have Rain's name on his ass? I don't have Thea Vidale's on mine?
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 250 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
The crowd boos McNeely as he wipes his chest blood all over. He tosses his West Coast title to the ground, which Peters quickly picks up and holds up in the air. he signals for the bell and Sadler rocks McNeely with some right hands
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler smacking the West Coast Champ with lefts and rights. McNeely catches one of his punches and lifts up Sadler's arm. He punches Sadler in the armpit with a heart punch.
McNeely attempts a fireman's carry, but Sadler blocks it and pulls him up into a textbook suplex. Sadler bounces into the ropes and drops an elbow across his face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler pulls McNeely up and irish whips him into the ropes. McNeely comes back with a spinning heel kick!
The fans boo. McNeely wraps up Sadler's legs & ankle and bridges back into an oriental crossbow. He rocks back with McNeely's head in his hands while Peters checks in to see if he wants to submit this early
Phil Blauer: Lonewolf told me in between mulitating himself that he's been working on his submission manuevers since becoming champion, so as to be a more well rounded opponent. He also mentioned how his chest is more infected than Lita's underwear drawer.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler is able to reach over and grab the ropes. Peters forces McNeely to break the oriental crossbow and he reluctantly does. McNeely peppering him with lefts and rights, but Sadler blocks one and fires back with some forearms of his own.
The Portland fans cheer as Sadler rocks McNeely with forearm smash after forearm smash. He irish whips him into the ropes and meets McNeely in the center of the ring with a running knee smash to the face
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler steps into a kick to McNeely's face when he tries to get up! Sadler picks him up for a powerbomb, but Lonewolf reverses it into a huracanrana!
McNeely cracks Sadler in the jaw with an elbow shot. He flips him to the mat in a fireman's carry, and then applies a cross knee scissors. McNeely pulls on Sadler's leg trying to hyperextend his knee and apply pressure to the hamstrings
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pulling on that leg, trying to get a quick submission out of the UCW legend and send a message to the rest of the wrestling world. Sadler finds his feet and stands on one leg, with McNeely hanging on to the other. He swings around with an enzuigiri kick to Lonewolf's ear!
David Sadler swings McNeely around in a belly to belly suplex that has him pinning Lonewolf in one clean motion
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler scoops McNeely up and bodyslams him to the mat. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Lonewolf to get to his feet. Sadler flies off with a diving elbow smash!!
McNeely rolls out of the ring, clutching his nose. He waves off the match and starts to walk to the back under a shower of boos from The Rose Garden. David Sadler chases after him and wallops him with a few hard punches
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler drags McNeely back to the ring, he tries to ram his head into the ringpost...but McNeely blocks it with his foot. Lonewolf McNeely smacks Sadler upside his chin with a shotei palm strike.
Lonewolf McNeely flips Sadler onto the concrete with an exploder! McNeely climbs up on to the apron, and climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips into a corkscrew plancha that smashes David Sadler into the guardrail!!
The Portland fans boo as Sadler leans against the railing with an upside down McNeely on top of him. After a few moments, McNeely rolls Sadler back into the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely comes off the top rope with a leg drop across Sadler's face!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely swings at him with a huge haymaker, but Sadler ducks and belly to back suplexes him. He goes for a textbook suplex, but McNeely blocks it with his leg. Lonewolf McNeely drills him a headfirst with a fisherman's buster!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler ducks underneath a discus punch from McNeely, and counters with a russian legsweep he calls a Soviet Scum Sweep!
Sadler irish whips McNeely into the ropes and drives him into the mat with a sidewalk slam! Sadler hooks his leg
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler goes for a DDT but McNeely reverses it into a stiff spinebuster! Sadler gets flipped over into an inverted figure four!
Phil Blauer: Do my eyes decieve me or is Lonewolf McNeely isolating a part and working it down?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, McNeely is honing in on the kneecap of David Sadler.
Phil Blauer: And do my eyes decieve me or is Yolanda the hottest chick I've ever seen?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, that's the 12 appletinis you had before the show.
Phil Blauer: (puts his glasses on) Ugh!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely leans back on Sadler's twisted legs as Mike Peters checks in on him, but Sadler refusing. McNeely smacks the back of his head a few times to sweeten the deal.
Sadler does a push-up to crawl over to the ropes and grabs hold of the bottom strand. Peters starts his count for McNeely to release the inverted figure four
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a moonsault, but Sadler puts his knees up into McNeely's sternum! He waistlocks him and drops the german suplex he calls The Fuck Hitler Slam!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler kicks McNeely while he's down in the kidneys, then grabs an on-the-mat sleeper. McNeely tries to reach out for the ropes but Sadler thrashes his head so violently that his arm drops to the mat.
McNeely gets to one knee while Sadler continues to wear him down with his forearm tight against Lonewolf's chin. McNeely stands up and then sits back down, shooting the top of his head through Sadler's chin
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely catches Sadler in the face with a flipover dropkick that sends him into the corner. McNeely climbs up to the turnbuckles, grabs an inverted facelock and flips forward into a diamond dust called The Sands of Time!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pumphandles Sadler but Davey goes up & over and behind the former Christian Sebastian Kennedy. McNeely applies an inverted facelock and drops him down in a reverse DDT!
The crowd comes alive as Sadler limps to the top turnbuckle. He waits for McNeely to stagger up and then hits him on the button with a flying dropkick! The cheers get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler grabs McNeely by the ankle and kneedrop his leg. He wraps his leg up and falls back into a figure four leglock!
Phil Blauer: Sadler giving McNeely a reciept for all the leg abuse he encountered earlier.
Lonewolf McNeely sits up in pain as Sadler clamps down on his crossed legs. McNeely grabs Mike Peters by the shirt in desperation, looking for escape
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely turns the figure four over and now Sadler's knee is back in jeopardy! Sadler is able to escape but is worse for wear. He tries to limp away, but Lonewolf McNeely catches him with a diving knee clip!
Sadler's knee folds underneath him and he clutches it. His knee is in heaps of pain as he holds on to his black kneepad for dear life. He's only able to to get to his knees before Lonewolf McNeely hauls off and kicks him in the side of the head
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Flesh Cut! This is the move he won the Hardkore West Coast title with, will it be the move he defends it successfully with?
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: No! Sadler is able to kick out, but will he be able to stand on that bad leg?
Phil Blauer: I'm sorry, are you asking me all these questions? I haven't been listening.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely lays Sadler's leg out on the bottom rope and then steps out on to the apron. He catapults himself over the ropes into an elbow drop on Sadler's outstretched leg!
Sadler howls in pain and rolls over onto his belly, clutching his knee. Lonewolf McNeely atomic drops Sadler onto the top turnbuckle, facing the audience. McNeely climbs up behind him on the second turnbuckle, and applies an inverted facelock
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely flips him over in a reverse superplex! Sadler's knee landed pretty badly there, and McNeely rolls him over into a pinning position.
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely irish whips Sadler into the ropes but Davey comes back with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely uses his momentum to roll it over)
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler gets to his feet and peppers McNeely with some Rage Punches. Lonewolf McNeely responds with a mongolian chop to the top of Sadler's dome!
Phil Blauer: Nintendo's first Pro Wrestling game representin!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler limps into the ropes and floors McNeely with a spinning wheel kick.
Phil Blauer: He didn't get the spring out of it he needed though from that bum leg. See? McNeely's already getting up.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler's on him and drives his head into the mat with a dangerous DDT!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler goes for a kneedrop but McNeely rolls out of the way, making him land on that bad knee again. Lonewolf McNeely moves in for the kill, and pulls Sadler's head into his legs. He runs into the middle of the ring with a ligerbomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler claps his legs together on McNeely's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely irish whips Sadler into the ropes and then drops him on his cranium with an emerald frosion!!
McNeely pulls him up by the arm, but Sadler ducks under a shortarm clothesline and counters with a crippler crossface! The Rose Garden lights up with cheers
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler has McNeely trapped in the middle of the ring with that crossface. He pulls up on McNeely's face & arm with those fingers locked together.
Mike Peters checks in with Lonewolf but he refuses to give up his Hardkore West Coast title. Sadler reverses it and drops a leg across the back of McNeely's head. He limps up to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler flies off the top rope with a flying body press!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler grabs McNeely by the leg and wraps around into a spinning toe hold, but McNeely kicks him off into the turnbuckles. Sadler limps back into a fireman's carry, and Lonewolf drives him onto his head with a death valley driver!
The Portland fans boo Lonewolf McNeely as he climbs up to the top turnbuckle and backflips into a shooting star press
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(David Sadler kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely pulls Sadler up into an inverted facelock, then spins him around into a roll the dice neckbreaker!!
Lonewolf McNeely presses Sadler over his head, but Sadler falls behind him, landing on his feet. Lonewolf McNeely turns around into a standing dropkick that pops the crowd
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler limps up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a flying elbow!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sadler is on fire now and shoots McNeely into the ropes, nearly taking his head off with a Ragesline!
Phil Blauer: Shouldn't it be Rageline? Just a thought.
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler irish whips McNeely into the ropes and catches him with his fameasser called The Light!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Lonewolf McNeely gets his foot on the bottom rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: David Sadler shakes his head in frustration and pulls Lonewolf McNeely up in a crucifix...but his knee buckles underneath the weight before he can hit The Crucifixtion! Lonewolf McNeely presses him over his head and drops him in the No Human Contact diamond cutter!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "See You Dead" by Helmet plays. Lonewolf McNeely steps up on the second rope and soaks in their hate
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 19 minutes 37 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION...LONEWOLF MCNEELY!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lonewolf McNeely successfully defends his West Coast title here in Portland tonight after wearing down that kneecap of David Sadler's. McNeely next goes on to the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament where he will team up with Robert Hunglestien III. David Sadler will be there with his New Axis partner, Lee Williams.
Mike Peters raises Lonewolf McNeely's arm in triumph, while McNeely slings the West Coast title belt over his shoulder
Guillermo O'Bannon: McNeely's next West Coast title defense will be a sure to be brutal rematch against Soutter at Palm Springs Punishment 2006.
Spotlights go all over the triple cage as it lowers over the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Now it's time for one of the most brutal matches we allow our lovely ladies to compete in. The feared triple cage match. Tamara Sanchez puts her title on the line against the entire women's division, in a rage to the top of the cage where the belt hangs. The first woman to step out of that top cage with the belt in her hands is the new Hardkore World Women's Champion.
"Warning" by The Notorious B.I.G. plays and the Portland crowd roars. "Sexy" Anjanette Turner steps out with her arms in the air, soaking in the cheers from the amourous Pacific Northwest
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner was in the last triple cage match with Tamara Sanchez and came very close to winning the title. Tonight she hopes to become the first Hardkore World wrestler, male or female, to hold any title five times.
Phil Blauer: Didn't I win the TV title a few times?
Guillermo O'Bannon: No, Jonnie nixed that idea when you wanted Cyrus to sell the Phil Bomb.
Yolanda Ando: Anjanette Turner is in a laser red two piece bathing suit, red boots, hair in a fish tail bread.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following is a Triple Cage Match for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Featuring first, now residing in Las Vegas, Nevada; Standing 5 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 130 pounds...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
The crowd cheers wildly as Anjanette Turner enters the giant steel cage structure. Then "Domino" by KISS plays and Domino walks out to some cheers. Then "The Punisher" Dan Stein walks out and they're replaced by boos
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino doesn't wrestle much but would if she becomes the new Hardkore World Women's Championship. She could be the sleeper in this thing.
Phil Blauer: Or the one who gets her ass kicked from one side of the cage to the next. All these chicks are making me thirsty. Boone, get me a Diet Sprite!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Would you like that in the can, sir?
Phil Blauer: No, I'll drink it right here.
Yolanda Ando: Domino wears a tight black one-piece with a snake-eyes domino each leg of her tights. She keeps her long brown hair tied up. Over it, she wears a rather used-looking black leather bomber coat with a snake-eyes domino on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And accompanied to the ring by "The Punisher" Dan Stein; from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 150 pounds...DOMINO!!!"
The crowd cheers. Then "Haunted" by Evanessence plays, Horror Girl cautiously makes her way towards the ring with Death Gojira, Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs. While walking down the runway, she pauses, tilting her head towards a jeering fan. When Horror Girl gets into the cage, she crawls in and goes to the corner where she crouches down and stares at Turner & Domino
Guillermo O'Bannon: Another former Hardkore World Champion, Horror Girl is tired of waiting for Tamara Sanchez to cycle through her contenders and come back to her. Tonight is her night to recapture the title she lost in her first defense to Anjanette Turner. The difference maker could be the fact that she has Death Gojira in her corner this time.
Yolanda Ando: Horror Girl is wearing tightly fitted mummy wrappings around her chest, hips, forearms, hands and legs, she appears to look like a zombie. Her skin is a pale blue and her hair is tinted a slight grayish purple. Her eyes are a very, very light blue. It's so light it looks whited out. Lastly, she has the classic zombie darkness around her eyes.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent is accompanied to the ring by her manager, Mr. Fame and Bernice Biggs; from Parts Unknown; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...HORROR GIRL!!!"
"Alice in Hell" by Annihilator plays and Vampira comes out followed by Judge Death and an entourage of Goths. She threatens to bite anyone including Yolanda & Boone. When she enters the ring she slowly removes her jacket. Vampira snarls and glares evilly at the ring entrance
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira is tailor made for this match. She's got a vicious streak a mile wide and an axe to grind with every woman and transvestite in this match.
Phil Blauer: I've heard that same intro about a million times.
Yolanda Ando: Vampira dresses like a Goth wearing tight black leather pants with a black leather metal studded belt & tight black t-shirt, black steel toed boots, black leather jacket as well as black metal studded collar around her neck and black metal studded wrist bands. She wears gold pentagram necklaces around her neck and her waist length dark hair flows freely down her back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her manager, Judge Death. She is from Somewhere in Carpathia; Standing 6 feet 1 inch tall; Weighing 175 pounds...VAMPIRA!!!"
"Adrenalize" by Rosetta Stone plays and Makoto Jupiter, Eerie Von, Tuxedo Mask, and Fat Tux walk out to a huge pop. Jupiter slaps all the fans hands in the aisleway
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter recently lost a close marathon match to Tamara Sanchez in Las Vegas, and hasn't exactly had the comeback she was looking for. Tonight she gets a chance to prove she's still the top wrestler in the female ranks by defeating the entire Hardkore World women's division.
Yolanda Ando: Makoto Jupiter wears a white leotard with a short green vinyl skirt, green tie up wrestling shoes with matching knee pads, and long white gloves with green trim. Her brown hair is tied back in a sporty, yet functional ponytail.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by her bodyguard, Eerie Von and the rest of The Cupcake Crew. From Olympia, Washington; Standing at 6 feet 1 inches tall; Weighing 138 pounds...MAKOTO JUPITER!!!"
The Rose Garden lets out an ear splitting pop. But then The Linux start up theme plays over and over again in an annoying loop which forces the crowd to cover their ears with their hands. The Microshocker walks out on Bad Boy King Kong's shoulders, holding Mr. Computer over his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: The former Hardkore Latin America Women's Champion Microshocker has been on a tear as of late, in both Hardkore World and SWAT. Tonight he hopes to win the Hardkore World Women's Championship and be the first person to win both women's titles in Hardkore history.
Phil Blauer: That's a weird accolade for a guy to hope for.
Yolanda Ando: The Microshocker is wearing a silver sequinned skin tight body suit with the ass cut out.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard, Bad Boy King Kong; From Seattle, Washington; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 200 pounds...THE MICROSHOCKER!!!"
The Portland crowd boos and jeers The Shock as he gingerly enters the triple cage. The lights in The Rose Garden start to flicker, red and blue pyro explodes and "Always" by Saliva hits and a spotlight points on Tamara Sanchez standing in the entrance. The spotlight drives up her body, past her Hardkore World Women's Championship while she performs the Clique sign. She runs down the ramp, sliding into the cage where she jumps up the top turnbuckle showing her championship to the crowd
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez has been expressing some boredom about her current crop of Hardkore World Women's contenders. Well tonight she has them all at once in her favorite style of match.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, let her bitch now.
Yolanda Ando: Sanchez is wearing black hot pants and a red top with spaghetti sleeves, appropriately saying "BITCH" on the front in black letters & red boots.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And finally from New York City; Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"
Domino grabs Tamara Sanchez by the hair and bashes her face into the steel mesh! Ron Reid slams the cage door shut and the match begins. Makoto Jupiter back suplexes the back of Horror Girl's head into the cage wall
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner catches Domino in the back of the head with an enzuigiri. Horror Girl grabs The Microshocker and bites down on his cheek!
Microshocker howls in pain. Horror Girl then releases so she can headbutt his cheek over & over. Domino irish whips Anjanette Turner into Tamara Sanchez who belly to belly suplexes her facefirst into the cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker grabs Tamara Sanchez and scoop slams her to the mat! Vampira gets underneath the champ's legs and lifts her up in an electric chair. She ocean cyclone suplexes the back of Tammy's head into the cage!
Phil Blauer: Everyone's picking on the champ!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl irish whips Anjanette Turner into The Microshocker who powerslams her!
The fans boo. The Shock kicks Vampira in the stomach and lifts her up & over his shoulder into an inverted powerbomb!! The boos get louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez grabs The Microshocker from behind in an inverted facelock.
Phil Blauer: Tammy hearing some of the first cheers of the year.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy flips The Shock around into a roll the dice neckbreaker!
Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Makoto Jupiter turns around and catches a flying spear to the stomach!! The cheers turn to jeers
Guillermo O'Bannon: Meanwhile, Horror Girl has Vampira in a front facelock on the second turnbuckle. She spins around into a tornado DDT!
Horror Girl looks around for her next victim. She sees Tammy battering Makoto Jupiter and she measures her for a spear into a short spinebuster
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl climbs up the ladder to the second cage but "Sexy" Anjanette Turner climbs up behind her, and belly to back superplexes her to the mat below!!
The Portland crowd cheers wildly. Anjanette Turner comes up behind The Microshocker and t-bone suplexes him! The fans cheer
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez tries to climb the ladder to the second tier of the cage, but Makoto Jupiter climbs up from behind and catches her from behind. She leaps off the ladder and rude awakens Sanchez to the ring below!!!
The Rose Garden erupts and the fans chant "MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!!" Horror Girl irish whips Anjanette Turner into Mako, who belly to belly suplexes Turner's head into that cage wall
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino hits The Microshocker with a dropkick! She whacks Vampira in the chest with a few hard chops. Horror Girl tries to sneak up on her, but Domino is ready for her with a kick to the stomach. Vampira uses her momentary distraction to punch Domino in the throat!
Vampira hits The Shock in the throat as well. Tamara Sanchez climbs up the ladder to the second cage
Phil Blauer: The master of the triple cage advances to the second cage.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez catches some much needed rest, but Anjanette Turner is fast on her heels. Sanchez is ready for her with a hiptoss! She atomic drops Turner into the cage and then enzuigiri kicks her face back into the wall!
Domino grabs Makoto Jupiter from behind with a russian legsweep! She turns around and scratches Vampira's eyes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino scoops Vampira up and bodyslams her to the mat, and Makoto Jupiter hits her with a hard frog splash!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter butterflies The Microshocker's arms and lifts him up into a double underhook facefirst powerbomb!!
The Portland fans go wild. Vampira turns around into a flatliner from Makoto Jupiter! Meanwhile in the second tier of the cage, Tamara Sanchez goes for a DDT but Turner blocks it and backdrops Sanchez on to the hard cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner gut wrench suplexes Tamara Sanchez onto the cage floor! She lifts Tammy up into a suplex then drops her headfirst into a falcon arrow!
The crowd cheers as the two ladies brutalize each other at dizzying heights. Anjanette Turner scoops Sanchez up and drills her head into the cage floor with a corkscrew tombstone
Guillermo O'Bannon: Meanwhile in the bottom ring, Horror Girl grabs Domino by the throat and lifts her up, throttling her. She takes her over in a powerslam!
Horror Girl grabs Vampira and bites her neck. Vampira shrieks in pain as Horror Girl ganshes her teeth
Phil Blauer: How does she like it?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl threads Vampira's arm through her legs and pumphandle german suplexes her! The Microshocker comes off the top turnbuckle with a frog splash on Vampira!!
The Microshocker scoops Domino up and slams her hard to the mat. He then hops on her back and applies an STF! He pulls up on Domino's head while thrusting his plevis into her butt
Phil Blauer: Lucky! I'm ripping that off, take a look at the new Blauer Lock.
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker pulls up on Domino's head, causing her extreme pain and embarrassment. After all that she's been through the past year, she doesn't need that.
Vampira monkey flips Makoto Jupiter onto both Domino & The Microshocker to break up the STF. The Microshocker stands up and catches a low blow from Vampira
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira cracks The Microshocker in the head with a kung fu kick to the head!
Vampira climbs up the ladder into the second cage. Vampira dragon suplexes Tamara Sanchez onto the cage floor! In the bottom cage, The Microshocker is climbing the ladder to the second cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Inexplicably, The Microshocker hops off the ladder and pokes Makoto Jupiter in the eye!
Phil Blauer: That was a dick move.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira scoops Tamara Sanchez up, but Sanchez falls behind her on her feet in an inverted facelock. Sanchez drives Vampira down onto the back of her head with a scorpion death drop on the hard steel cage floor!
In the bottom cage, Horror Girl scoops The Microshocker up and bodyslams him hard to the mat. The Shock gets up and Horror Girl running dropkicks him in the chest
Guillermo O'Bannon: In the second cage, Tamara Sanchez pulls "Sexy" Anjanette Turner up into a powerbomb, but Turner reverses it into a spinning huracanrana!!
Makoto Jupiter pins Domino against the cage with her long leg, choking her with her boot. The Microshocker hits Domino in the back with a forearm smash
Guillermo O'Bannon: During Mako's momentary distraction, Domino superkicks Jupiter upside the face!
Domino climbs the ladder into the second cage. Domino catches Vampira with a DDT on the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino dropkicks Tamara Sanchez in the face. In the bottom cage, The Microshocker tries to climb to the second cage. Makoto Jupiter climbs up the ladder, and pulls The Microshocker back down with a super fisherwoman's buster off the ladder!!
The crowd erupts and chants "MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!! MAKO!!" Makoto Jupiter inverted facelocks Horror Girl and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Makoto Jupiter tornado reverse DDTs Horror Girl!! She climbs up the ladder but Horror Girl no-sells the DDT and climbs up the ladder underneath her. She gets under her legs and ocean cyclone suplexes her from the ladder to the mat below!!
Horror Girl maintains Jupiter's legs and turns her over into a double ankle lock and pulls it back into a boston crab. She plants her legs and sits back on it
Guillermo O'Bannon: In the second tier cage, "Sexy" Anjanette Turner comes behind Vampira and applies a standing kataha-jime! Meanwhile, Horror Girl rocks back on Jupiter's spine in that boston crab. Turner spins Vampira round & round until her feet leave the ground.
Horror Girl releases the boston crab and grabs The Microshocker by the head. She runs up the turnbuckles into a swinging neckbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: "Sexy" Anjanette Turner gut wrenches Domino up into a spinning tigerbomb on the cage floor!!
The fans cheer. In the bottom cage, Horror Girl goes for a suplex but The Microshocker blocks it. He counters with an F3 brainbuster
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying elbow to Horror Girl's chest!! In the second cage, Vampira lifts Tamara Sanchez up in a suplex, then drops her down into a jackhammer she calls The Vampire Driver!!
Vampira sneaks up behind "Sexy" Anjanette Turner and chokes her with her leather studded belt. Tamara Sanchez staggers to her feet and rushes Domino, Domino goes for a backdrop, but Sanchez reverses with a canadian destroyer piledriver
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Mexican Destroyer on the cage floor!! While Vampira holds Turner by the throat with that belt, Tamara Sanchez superkicks Turner in the face!
Tamara Sanchez gets to her feet and gets hit with a reverse bulldog by Domino! Domino pulls Tammy up by the arm and pulls her into a short arm clothesline
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker climbs up the ladder into the second ring. Horror Girl gut wrenches Makoto Jupiter up onto her shoulder into a tigerdriver!!
Horror Girl sits Makoto Jupiter on the top turnbuckle, then climbs to the second rope. She double underhook superplexes her across the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl hangs onto an armbar while biting down on Makoto Jupiter's fingers. Meanwhile in the second ring, Turner catches The Microshocker on the back of the head with an enzuigiri!
Turner runs into a handspring backflip splash on The Microshocker! "Sexy" Anjanette Turner butterflies Vampira's arms, and lifts Vampira up into a running michinoku driver I on the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: On the bottom cage floor, Makoto Jupiter kicks Horror Girl in the stomach and DDTs her on the canvas! She picks Horror Girl up in an inverted crucifix and then sits down into a tigerbomb!!
The fans cheer. Makoto Jupiter pulls her up and drops her with a back suplex. In the second cage, The Microshocker grabs Tamara Sanchez and rockbottoms her into the cage floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Microshocker kicks Domino in the stomach and F1 powerbombs her on that steel cage floor!!
The Microshocker grabs two handfuls of Anjanette Turner's french braid and slams her face into the cage floor! Vampira catches The Microshocker on the back of the head with a barrage of forearm smashes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Vampira chokeslams The Microshocker! She picks up her belt and lashes Tamara Sanchez across the back with it! Sanchez ducks the second one and counters with a death valley driver on the cage floor!
Tamara Sanchez X factors Domino's face on the cage floor! Sanchez grabs The Microshocker in a front facelock and then spins out into a twist of fate! She climbs up the ladder to the third cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs into the third cage with "Sexy" Anjanette Turner right behind her. Domino grabs Vampira from behind with an inverted facelock and applies a dragon sleeper.
In the top cage, Anjanette Turner takes Tamara Sanchez down with a hart attack clothesline! In the second cage, Domino rocks back on Vampira's head & neck. In the bottom cage, Makoto Jupiter powerbombs Horror Girl on her double chicken winged arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino releases the dragon sleeper and irish whips Vampira into The Microshocker who huracanranas her head into the second cage floor!
The Microshocker goes after Domino, but Vampira catches him from behind with a kataha-jime choke! The Microshocker claws at her arm, struggling for air. Horror Girl smashes Mako's face into the wall of the steel cage and then climbs up to the second cage
Guillermo O'Bannon: Horror Girl steps into the second cage, but Domino takes her over in a flying head scissors! Vampira clamps down on The Microshocker's windpipe and his arms go limp from the tazmission.
Domino scoops Horror Girl up but she falls behind Domino in an inverted facelock. Horror Girl lifts her up into a flapjacked ace crusher
Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh, the Horror on the cage floor!! In the top cage, Anjanette Turner smacks Sanchez from one side of the cage to the other. She runs Tammy into the cage wall, but Sanchez ducks and Anjanette's face hits the cage!
Vampira climbs up the ladder into the top cage. Tamara Sanchez pulls Anjanette Turner up into a styles clash but Anjanette puts her hands down and blocks it The Phenomenal Clash! Turner then pushes up and takes Tammy over with a huracanrana!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner pulls Tamara Sanchez up into an inverted crucifix that smashes the top of Tammy's head on the cage roof! She then flips her forward into her jumping reverse crucifix powerbomb on the cage floor!! The Sexy Girl!!
Anjanette Turner opens up the cage door, Tamara Sanchez gets up to stop her but Vampira hangs onto her leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner walks out the cage and becomes the first ever 5 time Hardkore World Women's Champion!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 31 minutes 18 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND ONCE AGAIN HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...'SEXY' ANJANETTE TURNER!!!"
"Warning" by The Notorious B.I.G. plays as The Rose Garden cheers Anjanette Turner standing in the heavens with her Hardkore World Women's Championship lofted high above her head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner has climbed the mountain and reclaims her spot among Hardkore World's best!
Phil Blauer: And Tamara Sanchez loses her first Triple Cage Match! Her arrogance has finally worked against her!
Guillermo O'Bannon: In Sacramento, Lucifer Jones and Dan Stein took the remnants of The Society of the New Breed and formed L.S.D. In Las Vegas, they won their very first match against The Un-Stable, winning the Hardkore World Tag Team titles. Tonight in Portland, they attempt to win their first title defense against another first time pairing of former blood enemies, The Shootfighter and Soutter.
"Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine plays and the fans cheer as The Shootfighter and Soutter walk out to the ring with Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion James Fierce & Judge Death walking behind them. The Shootfighter carries a stainless steel singapore cane
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein & Lucifer Jones weren't the only guy to have a feud revovling around bodily fluids. The Shootfighter & Paul Soutter had a feud a couple years ago over a rib Soutter played on The Shootfighter, that caused The Shootfighter to attack Soutter and urinate on him. They wrestled back in July of 2004 in a brutal ladder match in San Diego, then an I Quit match in Phoenix, culminating in a mixed tag team match in Oakland between Soutter & Tamara Sanchez vs. The Shootfighter & Judge Death.
Phil Blauer: That's alot a yellow going down between these four men.
Yolanda Ando: Soutter wears black trunks with the straps coming up over each shoulder and he has red boots. He also wears a black leather vest to the ring. The Shootfighter wears knee length black wrestling tights, black wrestling boots, sharp studded forearm pads and a tight black robe with a red dragon on the back.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall and is for the HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by James Fierce and Judge Death; From Melbourne, Australia; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 428 pounds...'THE MASTER OF THE POWERSLAM' PAUL E. SOUTTER!! His partner is from Bangkok, Thailand; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds...THE SHOOTFIGHTER!! They are THE K.G.B.!!!"
“Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine comes over the PA, as the following symbols comes up on the tron:
<ALPHA>
<OMEGA>
<Logo of “The Society of the New Breed”>
<The Punisher skull>
Down comes “The Punisher” Dan Stein to a chorus of boos. Stein ignores them, stone-faced, eyes directly to the cage. His manager, the lovely but exhausted Domino, hesitantly follows. Lucifer Jones bursts through the curtains next with , followed by the new Hardkore World Women's Champion "Sexy" Anjanette Turner. Turner has a towel around her neck, and the belt around her waist. Lucifer Jones starts looking out over the fans, and getting involved with the ones by the security railings; talking shit back to them
Phil Blauer: What are the odds that both teams would have the same band playing their theme song? The similarities in this match are uncanny!
Guillermo O'Bannon: LSD looking to enter the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament as the champions and get that first round bye. That's one important step to winning 10 million. In Melbourne, Australia, Lucifer Jones recently defeated Mr. Big for the SWAT Springfield Championship at the New Year's Nightmare pay-per-view at the Rod Laver Arena. Dan Stein was on that same show, winning the tag team rumble with Big Bad Bill against The Christian Soldiers, Reverend Cornelius Marsh & Trashcan Sam, & The Perfect Team.
Yolanda Ando: Dan Stein is wearing a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out. Lucifer Jones is wearing snake skin leather pants tucked into a pair of well worn combat boots. He's shirtless and his ripped frame is covered in various tattoos, most notably "Pro-Pain" tattooed across his stomach and "HARD KORE" on his knuckles. His hair is buzzed tight to his skull and most of his teeth are capped with gold. A long nasty scar wraps around his throat. He has the Hardkore World Tag Team title belt strapped around his waist, and the SWAT Springfield Championship slung over his shoulder.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Their opponents are accompanied to the ring by 'Sexy' Anjanette Turner and Domino; Featuring first from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!! His partner is from White Chapel, England; Standing 6 feet 2 inches tall; Weighing 237 pounds; He is The Current SWAT Springfield Champion...LUCIFER JONES!! They are The Current HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...L.S.D.!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter took the microphone from Bill Kasal!
Soutter: "Since neither one of you have the testicular fortitude. I ask the locker room...is there anybody who dare take MY POWER SLAM CHALLENGE!!"
No music plays and the crowd pops. Mr. 100 limps down to the ring on crutches. Lucifer Joneses Dead Mama walks behind him throwing fake 100 dollar bills with Mr. 100's picture on it into the crowd.
Phil Blauer: That fan's going home with a souvenir tonight.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Shut up, Gorilla.
At ringside Mr. 100 asks timekeeper Ron De La O for the spare mic. Ron says there is no spare mic. Mr. 100 asks Ron to check again
Guillermo O'Bannon: This could get ugly.
Ron checks again and finds nothing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Wow, I didn't see that coming.
Phil Blauer: Ron's been taking these classes for his anger. He said something about them being court ordered. Once a court ordered me to take classes, but I was like, "Go ahead and take my son, see if I care." I haven't seen whats-his-name since.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, Jr?
Phil Blauer: Yeah, that guy.
On the apron Mr. 100 asks Soutter for the mic
Mr. 100: "100 thank you's Paul Soutter. I not only thank you 100 times for this microphone, but 100 more for the beating that despicable walking blob of stomach bile. Beat him so hard his mother feels it."
Lucifer Joneses Dead Mama begs Lucy to get out of the ring
Mr. 100: "That's Ok, (gets nose to nose with LuJo) the bitch likes it rough."
The crowd pops
Guillermo O'Bannon: I think somebody found a catch phrase.
Phil Blauer: I told X Pac he should've put it on a t-shirt when he had the chance.
Guillermo O'Bannon: When did you talk to X Pac?
Phil Blauer: When he was fucking up my order at Taco Bell.
Mr. 100: "Paul Soutter, king of SWAT, known bitch of those at Gamestime Championship Wrestling, and resident president of the Hardkore World mid card, I accept your powerslam challenge!!!"
Soutter: "I'm a sporting fella, hows about I give you 100 seconds to take my powerslam..."
Soutter rests Mr. 100's bandaged head snuggly between his thunder thighs, lifts him, then buries him two inches deep in the canvas
Referee Ron Reid: 1..........2.............THR-
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 staggers to his feet, but The Shootfighter brains him with the stainless steel singapore cane!!
Referee Ron Reid: 4...5!!
Phil Blauer: Soutter wins another Powerslam Challenge! Who can withstand that powerslam?
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein grabs The Shootfighter by the throat with his thumb and his forefinger.
Phil Blauer: The Shootfighter is stopped by a finger...and a thumb.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein swings around into a stunner!
The Shootfighter gets up and muy thai kicks Stein in his ankle. Mr. 100 rolls out of the ring. He steps into another muy thai kick into the back of The Punisher's calf. He grab's Stein's foot and twists it into an ankle lock. James Fierce joins the crowd in applauding on the outside
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter standing over Dan Stein, wrenching his foot from side to side. Ron Reid checks in but Stein refuses to submit to The Shootfighter Anklelock.
The Shootfighter wraps his legs around Stein's leg and drops down into an on-the-mat version. Dan Stein reaches out and grabs the rope, and Ron Reid forces a break. The Shootfighter releases his foot and waits for him to get up
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein ducks under a russian sickle and he applies a full nelson. He walks The Shootfighter over to his corner and tags in Lucifer Jones. He holds Shootfighter for Jones in the full nelson while LuJo brutally beats him about the face.
The Rose Garden boos L.S.D. while double teams The Shootfighter. Stein throws The Shootfighter down on his hands and knees. Lucifer Jones bounces into the ropes and soccer kicks him in the face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones lifts The Shootfighter up in a fisherman's suplex and drops the back of his head against his knee!!
Lucifer Jones waistlocks The Shootfighter but he back elbows Jones in the face. He snap suplexes Lucifer Jones
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter pops his hips and pulls him up into a second & third snap suplex. He pops LuJo a few times in the back with those stiff muy thai kicks. He lifts Lucifer Jones up into a human torture rack!
The Shootfighter spins him round & round and then drops him into a samoan drop! He reaches over and tags in Soutter
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter headbutts Jones in the face and then irish whips him into the ropes. Jones goes down hard from a 400+ shoulderblock. Soutter tosses Lucifer Jones over the top rope!
Lucifer Jones catches the second rope on the way down and lands on the apron. Lucifer slingshots himself on to the middle of the top rope and springboards off into a tornado DDT!! The Portland crowd jeers as Lucifer Jones jumps on Soutter's back and applies a camel clutch
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones fish hooking Soutter's face while pulling back on his head. Now he claws The Centre of Attention's eyes in The Faceripper! Jones whacks Soutter with a few crossface forearms. Lucifer pulls him up by the hair and repeatedly punches him in the face.
The last punch sends Soutter to his knees, and Lucifer Jones hauls off and kicks him right in the face. He tags in Dan Stein. Stein headbutts Soutter and he falls into LuJo who headbutts him as well
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein hits Soutter with another pinball headbutt, then irish whips him into the ropes. He catches the 400 pounder on the way back with a powerslam!!!
Phil Blauer: I don't believe it!
The ring bounces from the impact and Dan Stein screams "Eat it, Soutter!"
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Soutter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein lifts him up into a front facelock, but Soutter reverses with an inverted atomic drop. Stein ducks under a clothesline and runs into the ropes. Soutter goes for a backdrop, but Stein catches him with a swinging neckbreaker!
Stein tries to lift Soutter up in a fireman's carry, but Soutter rains down on his back with stiff forearms. Soutter then brings his knee up into Stein's face. He tags in The Shootfighter
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies a crippler crossface STF! He pulls up on Dan Stein's head & arm. Ron Reid checks in but Stein shakes his head no. Shootfighter links his fingers together and pulls up hard on The Punisher.
The Shootfighter rolls Dan Stein over and crouches over him. He fires into Stein's chest with a furious series of dragon claw strikes to his chest. Stein pulls him down into a sunset flip
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(The Shootfighter claps his legs on Dan Stein's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein ducks under a knife edge chop, and counters with a tiger suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein lifts The Shootfighter up in a hanging suplex and then drops him down into a jackhammer!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein scoops The Shootfighter up into a jumping michinoku driver II!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein tags in Lucifer Jones. He drops a hangman's neckbreaker on The Shootfighter, and Jones follows it up with a stomp to his throat! Lucifer Jones lifts The Shootfighter up in a crucifix and running razor's edges him over the top rope to The Rose Garden floor!!
The fans boo. Lucifer Jones atomic drops The Shootfighter's groin into the corner post! He then german suplexes the back of The Shootfighter's head into the railing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones rolls The Shootfighter onto the apron then climbs up there with him. He front facelocks Shootfighter and DDTs him off the apron to the concrete below!!
The Shootfighter rolls over on the floor with a cut over his eye. Lucifer Jones sets up a table next to the apron. He rolls The Shootfighter onto the apron and climbs up there with him. Suddenly Mr. 100 runs up and holds on to Lucifer Jones' leg
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 has Lucifer Jones' leg! Dan Stein runs over and clotheslines 100 hard on the concrete!
Phil Blauer: He may need 100 stitches!
Guillermo O'Bannon: But The Shootfighter takes advantage of the distraction and hits Lucifer Jones with a few muy thai punches. He t-bone suplexes him off the apron through the table on the floor!!
The Rose Garden comes alive with cheers as Jones' head liquifies the table. The Shootfighter belly to belly suplexes him onto the broken table
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter rolls Lucifer Jones back into the ring, but he tags in Dan Stein unbeknownst to Shootfighter. The Shootfighter sits Lucifer Jones on the top turnbuckle, but Stein comes from behind and lifts The Shootfighter up in an electric chair. Lucifer Jones stands up on the top turnbuckle and comes off with a doomsday device clothesline!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein sits on The Shootfighter's back and applies a sleeper camel clutch. He rocks back with Shootfighter's head in his arms, trying to pull it off of his neck.
Shootfighter growls in pain, reaching out for the ropes. Stein releases his head and pulls him up into a vertical suplex and holds him up there. The Portland fans boo until Stein drops him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein irish whips him into the ropes but Shootfighter ducks under a clothesline and german suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter scoops Stein up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker. He pulls him over into a powerslam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter wraps Stein's legs up and turns him over into a scorpion deathlock. He rocks back with Stein's legs, scooching them up until he has a high extension of them.
Ron Reid crouches over them asking Stein if he submits, he shakes his head no. The Shootfighter reaches out and tags in Soutter. Soutter grabs Stein by his legs and spins him round & round until he flips him back over his shoulder into a wheelbarrow suplex
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter northern lights suplexes Stein!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Dan Stein gets his shoulder up)
Domino looks conflicted at ringside
Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino was SWAT Australia President for a while so this has to be painful to see Stein & Soutter fight like this.
Phil Blauer: It's painful to watch Soutter do anything. Watch him try and go up some stairs, you'll feel like crying.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter irish whips Stein into the turnbuckles. He follows him in with a Soutterlanche but Stein puts his boot up! He fireman's carries Soutter up on his shoulders and drops his face on the turnbuckle!
Soutter staggers around dazed, Stein runs into the ropes and clotheslines the back of his head
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein cradles him with an oklahoma roll!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Soutter kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein tags in Lucifer Jones. He grabs Soutter's head with an RKO while Lucifer Jones takes his legs out with a chop block!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(The Shootfighter stomps Lucifer Jones' head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Jones irish whips The Shootfighter into the ropes and then drills him on his head with The Dog's Bollocks emerald frosion!! He steps over The Shootfighter with a buffalo sleeper camel clutch called The Bloke Choke!
Jones stands over him pulling him up by the head & arm. Blood runs down The Shootfighter's face to the mat below. Suddenly Mr. 100 enters the ring again. He rains forearm smashes down across the back of Lucifer Jones' head
Phil Blauer: Mr. 100 breaks up The Bloke Choke, and drops Lucifer Jones with a 100 right hands...or so.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 irish whips Lucifer Jones into the ropes, and goes for a big boot, but Jones catches it and drops him with a leg capture suplex!
The fans boo as Mr. 100 rolls out of the ring. The Shootfighter pops Jones in the back of the head with a few stiff forearm shots. He backs up and nearly takes Jones head off with a russian sickle
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Shootfighter applies an inverted indian deathlock and reaches out to tag in his partner, Soutter. Soutter climbs up to the second rope and jumps onto Lucifer Jones' back with a bonzai drop while Jones is trapped in that Shootfighter Leglock.
The crowd cheers. Soutter pulls Lucifer Jones' head into his legs and pulls him up for a powerbomb!! He cradles the legs
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Lucifer Jones raises his shoulder)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Soutter irish whips Jones into the ropes, but Jones ducks a clothesline and counters with an STO! LuJo lifts up Soutter in a front facelock while applying a chicken wing, then instead of suplexing him over, he sits down hard and drops him into a neckbreaker, wrenching both the arm and his neck with The Toxic Shock Drop!!
Phil Blauer: A move named after the dangers of tampons. You can't say that wrestlers aren't concious of today's issues.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Mr. 100 is back in the ring with a dropkick to Lucifer Jones' back! It looks like The White Chapel Horror has had about enough of this, and punches Mr. 100 in the mouth and then kicks him in the stomach.
Lucifer Jones backhands Mr. 100 and yells "Fuck off ya jobbin tit!" then spits at him. He hauls off and punches Mr. 100 so hard he falls through the ropes to the floor
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones turns around into a 400 pound spear by the former West Coast Champion!! Soutter tags in The Shootfighter. Shootfighter applies a cobra clutch and drops back to the mat with a body scissors.
Shootfighter applies pressure to the back of Jones' neck while pulling back on his arm. His strong legs prevent Jones from getting any new air. Ron Reid asks if Jones wants to tap out, but his partner Dan Stein comes out and breaks up The ShootClutch
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein stomping a bloody Shootfighter while Lucifer Jones struggles to get to his feet. Jones then steps in with a snap backdrop driver!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Lucifer Jones pulls The Shootfighter up over his shoulder in a double underhook canadian backbreaker, then drops him to the side in a piledriver
Guillermo O'Bannon: Lucifer Jones with The DeathDriver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Soutter stomps the back of Jones' head)
Mr. 100 is on the rampway with a microphone
Mr. 100: "Jones! Jones! You think you're hot shit! The way I feel about you can be expressed 100 different ways...Here's #44."
He flips the switch on the wall and the lights go out
Guillermo O'Bannon: Can't we have somebody guarding that light switch? At the very least can't we tape it up and write "Do Not Turn Off" on the tape?
Phil Blauer: I used all the tape wraping Christmas presents.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Who'd you get presents for?
Phil Blauer: ...the orphans. And I got my cats this ball tied to a string. They just love it.
The lights turn on
Guillermo O'Bannon: Blak Lung is standing in the ring!
Phil Blauer: The Legind Has Reterned! I was gonna say he looked like Blak Lung, but I wasn't sure, them looking alike and everything.
Guillermo O'Bannon: How many times do I have to tell you Bruno's dead and he's not coming back no matter how hard you beg. He stabs Lucifer Jones in the forehead with his trusty rusty coat hanger! His old Shadows of the Night partner The Shootfighter takes the advantage to double chicken wing The Shootfighter's arms and drop them across his knee in The ShootBreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein leg drops the back of The Shootfighter's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein turns The Shootfighter around into the rude awakening he calls Twilight's Hammer!!
Ron Reid forces Blak Lung and Mr. 100 to leave the ring as a bloody Lucifer Jones staggers to his feet. Jones grabs The Shootfighter's legs and catapults him up into a clothesline from hell from Dan Stein, so he falls back onto Jones' knees
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "Calm Like a Bomb" by Rage Against the Machine plays and Domino & "Sexy" Anjanette Turner collect Stein & Jones from the ring
Guillermo O'Bannon: Despite the 100 run-ins by Mr. 100, L.S.D. is successful in their first title defense.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 32 seconds; THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH AND STILL HARDKORE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...L.S.D.!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore World Tag Team Champions go into the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament with their undefeated streak in tact. They'll also recieve a bye into the second round which doesn't hurt their chances a bit.
Mr. 100 swears 100 different kinds of revenge from the rampway and then walks into the back with Blak Lung
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is a match that I've been waiting for all night, a no holds barred brawl between Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Kilroy Evans and Hardkore Nippon Brass Knuckles Champion "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa.
"Bomb Idea" by Mad Capsule Markets plays and the Portland fans boo. Tom Lux steps out first with "The Saikyo Terrorist" Tatsuya Arakawa behind him. Arakawa emotionlessly walks down to the ring, shadowboxing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa has been on a tear through the competition in Hardkore America, sharing the 2005 Hardkore World Rookie of the Year Award.
Phil Blauer: Yeah, but he shared it with Nick Knight. He didn't even wrestle most of the year. I think he had two matches, and then had his nephew steal some people's promos, then he put on a bird mask on and became Anzu...
Guillermo O'Bannon: At any rate, Tatsuya Arakawa has not known much failure this year. One of the few losses he's had was last August in Phoenix against his opponent tonight, Kilroy Evans. Tonight he hopes to not only erase that loss from everyone's memory, but win his first singles title in Hardkore America.
Yolanda Ando: Tatsuya Arakawa wears blood red MMA biker style tights with Japanese lettering for "Saikyo Terrorist" on the rear in black, high black boots, black TRACE kneepads, and black wrist tape.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP. Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by his manager Tom Lux; Hailing from Shimo-tsuga-gun, Tochigi, Japan; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 261 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE NIPPON BRASS KNUCKLES CHAMPION...'THE SAIKYO TERRORIST' TATSUYA ARAKAWA!!!"
The Rose Garden boos and jeers him. Then "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays and the Portland fans roar. Kilroy Evans walks down to the ring waving to the fans and then slides under the ropes. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle and holds his Hardkore America Heavyweight and Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts up in the air
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has been itching to get his hands on Tatsuya Arakawa since Arakawa attacked him during the Wargames Match in Palm Springs, California. Kilroy Evans tried to re-form The Un-Stable tonight but was rebuked, let's see if his broken heart is a help or hinderance.
Phil Blauer: It happens. I'm quite an expert in bebuction. I got rebuked three times, just during this intro. Yolanda?
Yolanda Ando: No, Phil. Kilroy Evans wears a black Mystery Science Theatre t-shirt, blue jeans, brown belt and red, white, and blue wristbands.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And his opponent, from Attbury, South Carolina; Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 253 pounds; He is One Third of the HARDKORE WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS & The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...KILROY EVANS!!!"
The Portland crowd cheers. Kilroy Evans and Tatsuya Arakawa walk up to one another and meet in mid-ring. Arakawa stares a hole through Kilroy Evans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans hits Arakawa with a swift kick to the testes! Kilroy Evans irish whips Arakawa into the corner. He follows him in with an avalanche, but Arakawa puts his boot up!
Tatsuya Arakawa slaps Kilroy Evans in the face with a with left and then a right slap. He spinning chops Kilroy in the chest and then kicks him in the ribs
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa bounces off the ropes and Kilroy tastes a yakuza kick! Arakawa pulls him up and goes for a right hand, but Kilroy blocks it and answers with a kick to the stomach. He nails Evans with a stunner, then catches his feet on the way up and turns him over into a boston crab!
Phil Blauer: Kilroy Evans folding Arakawa up like oragami.
Arakawa rocks back with Kilroy's legs, bending at the knees so as to not pull out his back. Smart really. Mike Peters asks Arakawa if he submits but he refuses
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa powers out of the boston crab with those powerful legs. Tatsuya Arakawa then attacks Kilroy Evans with a wild flurry of punches that daze and confuse the Hardkore America Champion. He irish whips Evans into the ropes and then KOs him with a flying kneelift!
Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up but the champ ducks underneath a punch and atomic drops Tatsuya onto the top turnbuckle. He pulls him back into a tree of woe and backs into the other corner
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans runs a spear into Tatsuya Arakawa's exposed stomach in a tree of woe! He pulls Arakawa up in a suplex and then drops him onto the turnbuckles.
Phil Blauer: Kilroy trying to get Tatsuya Arakawa spit up his sushi.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Phil, where are you getting these?
Phil Blauer: (hides his "Jerry Lawler's 500 Racist Observations" book) Nowheres.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans german suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans goes for a piledriver, but Tatsuya Arakawa backdrops out of it. Tatsuya Arakawa snap mares Kilroy over. He whacks Kilroy Evans in the back a couple times and applies a stretch plum. The kneeling Arakawa pulls back on Kilroy's head & arm.
Mike Peters checks in to see if he wants to tap out but Kilroy refuses. Arakawa pulls him up and throws two muy thai knees into Evans stomach, ending with one in the face that sits him in the corner
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets a running start and then knee smashes a sitting Kilroy in the face!
The audience boos. Tatsuya Arakawa climbs to the second turnbuckle but Kilroy comes to life and clotheslines him over the ropes to the floor below! Kilroy Evans sets up a table and rolls Arakawa on top of it. He places a chair on top of Arakawa's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans gets a running start and jumps off the apron, elbow dropping the chair into Arakawa face and putting him through that table!!!
The Rose Garden chants "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!" while Kilroy & Arakawa lie in a pile of rubble for a few moments. Kilroy pulls Arakawa up and running spinebusters his back into the guardrail
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy asks a fan to hand him a chair, and then bends the frame on Arakawa's skull!! He rolls a busted open Arakawa up onto the apron. He climbs up there, but Arakawa hits him with a spinning back punch! He front facelocks Kilroy and DDTs him off the apron to the concrete floor!!
The crowd gives Arakawa an ear splitting heel pop, booing and jeering him as he recovers from the chair attacks. Tom Lux goes to work with Arakawa ripping up two lengths of guardrail and lays them on the prone body of Kilroy Evans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa goes to the middle rope to and leaps off with the Shinjuku Crush flying double knee drop onto the pile of debris!!!
The Portland crowd pops. Arakawa performs a running high kick knocking Kilroy into the audience, taking down a number of fans
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hops the rail and kicks fans out of their chairs and begins to violently toss them at Kilroy and anyone who dares get in his path!
Arakawa nails him with a few more chairs and then rolls Kilroy back into the ring and climbs to the second turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa comes off the second rope with a kneedrop to Kilroy's chest!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa lifts Kilroy in a fireman's carry and then drops his face on his knee with a Go 2 Sleep!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa irish whips Evans into the ropes, but Kilroy ducks underneath a rolling solebutt kick! Kilroy mounts Arakawa and rains down on his face with a flurry of punches!
The crowd roars as Kilroy Evans batters the bloody Arakawa. Arakawa pulls Kilroy down into a sunset flip
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans claps his legs on Arakawa's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans gets back to his feet but catches an enzuigiri kick to the back of his head for his troubles. Arakawa waistlocks him, but Kilroy back elbows him. Kilroy Evans DDTs Arakawa!
Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and baseball slides into the side of Arakawa's head! Evans crouches over Arakawa and bites down hard on the laceration over Tatsuya's eye. He then produces something from his pocket
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans produces a salt packet from his pocket!
Phil Blauer: That's from his pre-match ritual of 2 KFC buckets. I have it on good authority he also keeps the butter packets in his pocket to help him out of particular submission holds.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans pours that salt in Tatsuya Arakawa's wound...literally!
Arakawa shrieks like a banshee, covering his cut. It has the reverse effect though, and wakes him up. He launches into a karate chop flurry so hard it rips Kilroy Evans' MST 300 t-shirt
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops Kilroy Evans on the back of his head with a backdrop driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ducks under a karate chop and belly to belly suplexes The Saikyo Terrorist. Kilroy Evans crouches over him and batters him with a series of headbutts to his face, bloodying him even further.
Kilroy Evans applies an STF on Tatsuya Arakawa! He pulls up on Arakawa's head, trying to pull it off his shoulders. Mike Peters asks the bloody mess that is Arakawa if he wants to submit. Kilroy Evans gives his head & neck another big yank
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa gets to the ropes and Mike Peters forces a break. Kilroy Evans pulls him up, but Arakawa comes up swinging with a hard chop to his now bare chest.
Arakawa rips the rest of Kilroy's t-shirt off and punches Kilroy in the jaw. He headbutts Kilroy Evans in the face, and then lands a stiff kick to the chest
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa hits Evans' naked chest with a spinning chop, then hits him upside his chin with a shotei palm strike, and then nearly takes his head off with a high boot to the face. Tatsuya Arakawa then falls back into a jujigatame to his arm.
Evans cries out in pain as Arakawa rows back on his whammybarred arm. Kilroy refuses to tap out so Arakawa pulls him up by his arm and irish whips him into the turnbuckles
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa follows him in with a face erasure kick that busts his oft busted nose! Kilroy Evans falls forward onto his face as Arakawa bounces into the ropes.
Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes, but the champ ducks under a clothesline. Arakawa turns around into a spear that sends him through the ropes to the apron
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans climbs out on the apron. Evans grabs Arakawa by the head and drops off the apron with The Bad Touch diamond cutter!!
Kilroy pulls out a table and rolls Tatsuya Arakawa on top of it. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, then leaps off with a 747 splash on Arakawa through the table!!! The crowd chants "KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!! KIL-ROY!!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans slides a chair under the ropes into the ring then tosses Arakawa in as well. He sets the chair up in the center of the ring, and irish whips Arakawa into the ropes. Kilroy Evans drop toe holds Arakawa's face into the seat of the chair!!
A bloody Arakawa stands up, clutching his chin. Kilroy Evans kicks Arakawa in the stomach and then double underhook DDTs his face onto the chair!! He rolls him over into a pin
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy goes for a stunner, but Arakawa pushes him off into the ropes. Kilroy bounces back and nearly gets his head taken off with an Aki Lariot!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa drops Kilroy Evans on the back of his head with a deadlift german suplex! He steps over Evans and pulls his arm back with a kneeling wakigatame!
Phil Blauer: Arakawa trying to break Kilroy's ice cream scooping arm!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa wore down Evans' arm earlier tonight with the jujigatame. He tugs back on Kilroy Evans' straightened arm.
Kilroy Evans reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. Mike Peters forces Arakawa to break the wakigatame. A busted open Tatsuya Arakawa irish whips Kilroy Evans into the ropes and hits him with a spinning roundhouse kick
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa bounces into the ropes, but Kilroy trips him up with a drop toe hold that sends Arakawa's throat into the second rope. Kilroy Evans bounces into the ropes and drops an elbow into the small of Arakawa's back.
Kilroy Evans irish whips Tatsuya Arakawa into the ropes, Arakawa comes back with an STO bomber! The crowd jeers and boos
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans ducks under a uraken punch, and kicks Arakawa in the stomach. He pulls Tatsuya Arakawa up into a crucifix powerbomb!!
Kilroy climbs to the top rope and flies off with an elbow drop to Arakawa's sternum!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans irish whips Arakawa into the ropes, he dips down for a backdrop, but Arakawa catches him with a guillotine choke!!
Phil Blauer: He's got em!
Arakawa squeezes Kilroy Evans sides with his powerful legs while constricting his breathing by grinding his forearms against his esophogus. Arakawa is gripped up high on Evans' waist so as to not pin his shoulders to the mat like he did in his match to Sun
Guillermo O'Bannon: Arakawa rocking back to further cut off Kilroy Evans' breathing. Mike Peters raises Kilroy's limp arm but he keeps it up to continue the match. Arakawa pulls Kilroy Evans up into a MASSIVE Bomb!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Kilroy Evans kicks out)
Phil Blauer: The Rose Garden lets out a collective sigh.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans staggers up and ducks under another Aki Lariot, Kilroy counters with a full nelson suplex!
Kilroy Evans pulls Tatsuya Arakawa up and piledrives his bloody skull into the canvas!! Kilroy climbs to the top turnbuckle
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans flies off with a 747 splash!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Tatsuya Arakawa kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Evans shoots Arakawa into the ropes but The Saikyo Terrorist ducks it and counters with a Jumping Gamengiri kick that sends him out of the ring!!
Kilroy Evans slips through the ropes and falls awkwardly to the concrete. Tatsuya Arakawa steps through the ropes to the floor. He lays Kilroy Evans so he's sitting against the railing, then gets a running start and soccer kicks him right in the chest
Phil Blauer: Kilroy caught between a rock and a hard place!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Tatsuya Arakawa pulls a gasping Kilroy Evans up in a hanging suplex, then vertical drop brainbusters him on the concrete!!
Kilroy Evans rolls over with a huge gash over his eye. A fan hands Kilroy a chair to use, but Tatsuya steps on it. Kilroy gives it a few tugs, and then grabs a beer bottle
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans breaks a bottle on Arakawa's foot! That frees up the chair and Evans brings it up into Arakawa's groin! Kilroy Evans double underhook DDTs Arakawa's head into the concrete!!
Kilroy Evans rolls Arakawa back into the ring and lies a chair over his face. Kilroy Evans runs into the ropes and drops a legdrop across the chair and Arakawa's face
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans back suplexes Tatsuya Arakawa into his Blue Thunder Driver!!
Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden erupts in celebration as "No Rest For The Wicked" by The Bloodhound Gang plays. Kilroy Evans staggers to his feet as Mike Peters hands him his Hardkore America & Hardkore World Six Man Tag Team title belts
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 35 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND STILL HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...KILROY EVANS!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans has outlasted one of the most brutal matches of his career that didn't involve any barbed wire. He now goes on to the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup where he will team with Sun. Tatsuya Arakawa gets a first round bye where he teams with Andrew Sinclair.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up is The Main Event of the evening. In Las Vegas, Robert Hunglestien III had his "hitman" Lonewolf McNeely attack all the members of The Un-Stable, himself included. Later, he used that same hitman to ruin one of the greatest upsets in Hardkore history, when James Fierce defeated Andrew Sinclair for the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship. Hunglestien attacked Sinclair after the match and proclaimed his pursuit for the World Championship. Tonight, he gets his long awaited title match. James Fierce however is looking to prove he is the not the transitional champion everyone has claimed he is. He will keep Robert Hunglestien III on the mat, and twist his arms & legs into pretzels to keep that championship around his waist.
The Rose Garden goes dark, purple lights flash and a purple spotlight shines on Robert Hunglestein III at the top of the ramp way. He is wearing a long black robe, with purple and gold gems spelling out the name "Hunglestein" across the back. The purple lights turn to gold as a voice says "You wish you could be me...It must suck to be you!" then purple and gold begin to alternate and run all over The Rose Garden as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears hits. RHIII heads down to ring with a slow cocky strut, as the fans boo. One fan pours his entire cup of beer down Hunglestien's back. Hunglestien points at him and yell "Throw that mother fucker out of here before I do!" Security haul the fan out, and Hunglestien wads his beer stained robe up and throws it after him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III being welcomed in a way he hasn't encountered since forming the popular Un-Stable group. Let's hope this path he's chosen is more successful, if not more popular.
Phil Blauer: Last time he was heel he was Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion, so we'll see. Take it from me, friends are for losers.
Yolanda Ando: Mr. Popularity has on a black wrestling singlet that has "Hunglestein" wrapping across the front diagonally from top to bottom in dark purple with gold outline. On the back of the singlet there’s three slashes in gold which obviously symbolize the 3 from the end of his name. Hunglestien also wears black elbow pads, and has his wrist taped with black tape. Robert wears black boots and black kneepads.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Ladies and Gentleman, this is The Main Event of the Evening. It is scheduled for one fall, a 30 minute time limit, and is for the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, originally hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, now making his residence in Beverly Hills, California; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 265 pounds...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!!!"
The Rose Garden rocks with boos. Then "Around the World" by Red Hot Chili Peppers plays and James Fierce walks out to a big pop from the Portland fans. Once he fully emerges he holds both hands out to the side and begins his strutting down the ramp way
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce is having the time of his life right now and a career year. Recently he successfully defended his SWAT Carribean Championship against Dave Brickheart at the New Year's Nightmare pay-per-view at The Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne, Australia.
Phil Blauer: I thought he smelled like wallabee urine. It's distinctive.
Yolanda Ando: James Fierce wears a singlet that is red at the top and transitions into black towards the thighs. On the back of the singlet the letters “KGB” are written in black. He also wears a black and red warm up jacket that has "Bandits" written on the left breast and "Fierce" underneath. He has both of his SWAT Carribean title belts slung over both of his shoulders with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship proudly wrapped around his waist.
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is The Main Event of the evening. It's scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first from Washington, D.C but originally from West by gawd Virginia; Standing 6 feet 3 inches tall; Weighing 255 pounds; He is The Current SWAT Carribean Bermuda Triangle Champion, SWAT Carribean Heavyweight Champion, and the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...'THE FEROCIOUS BANDIT' JAMES FIERCE!!!"
The fans let out an ear splitting pop as James Fierce holds up all his championship belts. Robert Hunglestien III pearl harbors him with an elbow smash to his lower back
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce fires back with a european uppercut. Fierce grabs him by his arm and shortarm clotheslines him, but Hunglestien ducks under and counters with a belly to back suplex!
Robert Hunglestien III full nelsons James Fierce. He presses down on the back of Fierce's neck with his linked fingers. Fierce tries to pry his fingers apart but it's not working
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce checks his options and then mule kicks Hunglestien in the groin. He lifts Hunglestien up in an atomic drop with his leg stretched outward, then drops Hunglestien's leg down on the mat in a leg breaker.
The audience applauds. James Fierce turns him over into a single leg boston crab. Robert Hunglestien III cries out in pain, and reaches out for the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce rocks back on Hunglestien's leg. Hunglestien is finally able to get to the ropes and Ron Reid forces a break. Fierce hesitantly does, but Hunglestien takes him over in a fireman's carry. He pulls Fierce up by the hair and bodyslams him.
The Portland crowd jeers and boos Hunglestien while he shakes some feeling back into his leg. He pulls Fierce up and irish whips him into the ropes
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III catches him with a spinning belly to belly suplex!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(James Fierce kicks out)
Phil Blauer: The World Champion not nearly worn down enough.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien kicks Fierce, but Fierce catches his leg and then slings it over his shoulder. Fierce drops down to his knees, shooting his shoulder up through Hunglestien's kneecap. James Fierce straddles Hunglestien, facing his head, and pulls his leg over his shoulder. Fierce leans forward, pulling Hunglestien's foot towards his head.
Hunglestien shouts out in agony while Fierce works down his leg with the modified half crab. Hunglestien reaches out for the ropes again, trying not to pull a hamstring
Phil Blauer: In the Las Vegas heat, James Fierce zeroed in on Andrew Sinclair's arm. Tonight in the chilly Pacific Northwest, Fierce is trying to take out one of Hunglestien's wheels.
Guillermo O'Bannon: What's your point?
Phil Blauer: Nothin, just riffin.
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce stands over Hunglestien and applies a standing ankle lock. He wrenches Hunglestien's foot from side to side while Ron Reid asks Hunglestien if he's ready to tap.
Phil Blauer: If I know Robert Hunglestien, James Fierce will have to tear his foot off before he'll say quit. But the truth is I've never met him. His people killed Jesus.
James Fierce leans into the ankle lock, pushing his leg towards his head. Hunglestien rolls onto his back and kicks James Fierce off of him. He grabs an arm with a side arm takedown
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III applies a crippler crossface! He pulls up on Fierce's face & arm, cinching in the crossface tightly. James Fierce reaching out for those ropes but is nowhere close.
Robert Hunglestien III pulls James Fierce up and hammerlocks his arm behind him. He scoops the champ up and bodyslams him on his chicken winged arm
Phil Blauer: Hunglestien confuses the senses with a hammerlock jawbreaker!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien waistlocks James Fierce, but Fierce back elbows him! He takes him over with a dragon screw legwhip. He grabs another ankle lock, wraps his legs around Fierce's thigh, and then drops down to the mat.
Phil Blauer: Earlier Fierce was attacking Hunglestien's thigh & kneecap, now he's zeroing in on his ankle.
Hunglestien yelps in pain as Fierce twists his foot from side to side. Robert sinks his fingernails into the canvas in helpless agony. Fierce releases the scissorhold around Hunglestien's thigh and then pushes his foot forward so the knee is bent
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pushes Hunglestien's foot into his ankle, twisting his foot to the side. He stretches the leg back out, and hits his kneecap with a martial arts punch.
Hunglestien rolls around the mat, clutching his knee. Fierce waistlocks him but Hunglestien does a go-behind and takes him down to the mat. Hunglestien scoots up on his back and applies a camel clutch
Phil Blauer: What a combo! Robert Hunglestien III targeting Fierce's neck for The High Life.
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien leans back with Fierce's head in his hands, bending his back the wrong way. He rocks back as hard as he can, trying to force a submission.
The fans chant "Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" He sneers back at them and yanks Fierce's head back harder
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III full nelsons him and pulls him up to his feet. He drives him into the mat with a full nelson slam!
Hunglestien lifts him up in a fireman's carry and then spins him around into a TKO
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce shoots in and grabs Hunglestien by the leg and karate chops him underneath his knee, and whips him over. He spinning toe holds Hunglestien, but Robert pushes him off with his foot into the turnbuckles. James Fierce staggers back and Hunglestien DDTs him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien 3/4 nelsons him, but Fierce pushes him off into the ropes. Hunglestien limps backwards, and Fierce grabs him by the leg. He slings it over his shoulder and trips Hunglestien throatfirst into the second rope!
James Fierce pulls Hunglestien's arms in front of him and then straightjacket suplexes him
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien III gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce fireman's carries Hunglestien onto his shoulders, but Hunglestien falls on his feet behind him. He german suplexes Fierce! He pulls him up into a second, then a third!
The Portland crowd boos. Robert Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes and jams him into the mat with a spinebuster
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien shoots Fierce into the ropes again and hits him with a clothesline. Hunglestien pulls him up by the hair, but Fierce kicks him in the stomach. Fierce runs into the ropes and rocker droppers his face into the mat!
The fans come to life. James Fierce sets Hunglestien up in a russian leg sweep and then pitches his face into the canvas! He rolls it up into a giant octopus, and the crowd gets louder
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce forces Hunglestien's head into his chest with his leg. He pulls back on Hunglestien's arm, twisting him like a pretzel. Fierce releases the giant octopus, and pulls Fierce up by his arm. Hunglestien pulls Fierce in by the arm and rams his knee into his stomach. Robert Hunglestien piledrives Fierce!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips Fierce into the ropes and takes him down with a flying headscissors. He scoops Fierce up and tosses him across the ring with a fallaway slam!
Robert Hunglestien III irish whips Fierce, but he reverses it and shoots him into the ropes. Fierce catches him on the way back with a spinebuster
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce kicks Hunglestien in the stomach and hits a stunner! He pulls Hunglestien up again and drives him into the mat with a uranage!
Phil Blauer: If he hits The Pedigree he'll do the WWF '97 Triple Crown.
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce inverted facelocks Hunglestien, and lifts him up into a brainbuster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien gets up and grabs Fierce with a headlock takedown.
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(James Fierce rolls Hunglestien into a cradle)
Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce grabs him by both legs and slumps him over his shoulder. He flips him forward into a spinebuster!
Fierce applies a reverse full nelson, but Hunglestien brings his knee up into Fierce's groin. Robert Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms, and lifts him up and down across his knee with a double underhook backbreaker
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips James Fierce into the ropes and powerslams him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien scoops Fierce up but the champ lands on his feet behind him with an inverted facelock. Reverse DDT!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce applies an abdominal stretch. He locks his fingers around Hunglestien's head and pulls on it. He then grinds his knuckles into Hunglestien's ribs.
Fierce drives his elbow into Hunglestien's ribs over & over. Hunglestien hiptosses him over. Robert scoops him up into a michinoku driver II
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III pulls James Fierce up into a stiff powerbomb!! He cradles the legs!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce rolls his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into a fireman's carry and then spins him around into an F5!
The Portland fans boo and start up their chant of "Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap* Fuck You Bobby *clap* *clap* *clap-clap-clap*" Hunglestien waistlocks James Fierce and lifts him up in a belly to back, but Fierce reverses into a bulldog! The Rose Garden erupts
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce applies a buffalo sleeper! He pulls up on Hunglestien's head & arm, applying pressure to the his neck. Ron Reid checking in with Hunglestien, but he's shaking his head.
The fans in the front row slap on the guardrail, chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" James Fierce pulls Hunglestien's head into his legs and butterflies his arms
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce hits The High Life on Robert Hunglestien III!!
Phil Blauer: His own move! Diss!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien puts his foot on the rope)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien double leg takedowns him and flips him over into a boston crab. Hunglestien plants his feet and rocks back with Fierce's legs.
James Fierce does a push-up and crawls over to the ropes. Hunglestien limps back to the center of the ring, dragging Fierce along his face. Robert reapplies the boston crab
Phil Blauer: Hunglestien leaning back on James Fierce's spine, and The Ferocious Bandit looks close to tapping!
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien lifts him up by the hair and applies a cobra clutch. He drops Fierce on his head with a cobra clutch suplex!
Robert Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes and tiltawhirl slams him! He hooks Fierce's leg
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce, but James reverses it and shoots him into the ropes. James Fierce hits him with a lo-down spinebuster!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien claps his legs together on Fierce's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pulls him up by his arm and flips him around with a rude awakening with Hunglestien's own arm across his neck. He pulls him down into a hangman's neckbreaker with his own arm!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."
Fierce pulls Hunglestien up into a piledriver, with both of Hunglestien's legs hooked. He gives him a double leg hook piledriver!! The fans are cheering as he rolls him over and makes the cover
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce pulls Hunglestien up by his arm, then pulls him in with a shortarm lariot!
Fierce pulls Hunglestien's arm behind him in a chicken wing, but Hunglestien back elbows him. He turns around and hits him upside the chin with an elbow uppercut
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien goes for a diamond cutter but James Fierce reverses it into a rear naked choke! Fierce clamps down on Hunglestien's windpipe and leans back as far as he can.
The fans in the front row slap on the guardrail again, chanting "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" Ron Reid asks Hunglestien if he wants to submit but he won't answer. He reaches out and grabs the bottom rope
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes, and Hunglestien comes back with an elbow smash! He dragon suplexes James Fierce!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien goes for a belly to back suplex, but Fierce flips on to his feet. James Fierce straightjackets Hunglestien up into a Darkness Buster!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce inverted facelocks Hunglestien and flips him around into an eye of the hurricane!
James Fierce climbs to the top turnbuckle, and The Rose Garden roars in anticipation. Robert Hunglestien III climbs up to the second turnbuckle to meet him halfway. He belly to belly superplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien III irish whips James Fierce into the ropes and slams him into the mat with a sidewalk slam!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce and hits him with a hart attack clothesline!
The Portland fans boo. Hunglestien pulls him up into a headlock, but Fierce does a go behind and applies a headlock of his own
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce running bulldogs Robert Hunglestien! He pulls Fierce up into a crossface chicken wing. He walks him into the center of the ring and crossface chicken wing suplexes him!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien gets his shoulder up)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and nearly takes his head off with a lariot! Fierce goes for a suplex, but Robert Hunglestien blocks it with his calf. He reverses it with a brainbuster!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Five Minutes Have Elapsed. 5 Minutes Remaining."
Robert Hunglestien III pulls Fierce up into an argentinean backbreaker! He bends Fierce's spine across his shoulder, bouncing him up & down as his arms fall limply to his sides
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien drops to his knees and jams his shoulder into Fierce's back. Hunglestien electric chairs Fierce up and bends him backwards into a vertebreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (James Fierce kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into a back suplex, then swings him around into a blue thunder bomb!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(James Fierce claps his legs together on Hunglestien's head)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Robert Hunglestien pulls Fierce up over his shoulder and then flips him forward into a dominator!!
Hunglestien lifts Fierce up into an atomic drop, but Fierce rakes his eyes. Fierce textbook suplexes him
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce irish whips Hunglestien into the ropes and hits him upside the face with a super side kick! Fierce lifts Hunglestien up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry. He runs into the center of the ring with a death valley driver!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce lifts Robert Hunglestien up into a hanging suplex then drops him in a Kryptonite Krunch neckbreaker!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien gets his foot on the bottom rope)
The Rose Garden groans. James Fierce goes for a suplex, but Hunglestien blocks it again. This time he counters with a fisherman's buster, but drops him on his own foot, so Fierce's own knee hits his stomach
Guillermo O'Bannon: Paradise Hills!! Hunglestien goes for a DDT, but James Fierce reverses it with a fireman's carry. He drills Hunglestien on his head with a DDT of his own!!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Robert Hunglestien kicks out)
Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce pulls Hunglestien up by the arm, but Hunglestien pulls him in with a shortarm elbow smash! Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms, and pulls him up into a double underhook dominator!! The Star Breaker!!
Phil Blauer: He won the Hardkore America Championship with this very move!
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (James Fierce kicks out)
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Nine Minutes Have Elapsed. 1 Minute Remaining!"
The crowd roars and stomps their feet in anticipation
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien irish whips Fierce into the ropes, he goes down for a back body drop, but Fierce reverses with a corkscrew neckbreaker!
James Fierce applies a camel clutch. He reclines back on Hunglestien's spine, rocking back with his head in his hands. Ron Reid asks him if he wants to tap out, but Hunglestien shakes his head
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "10!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien slips out and hits Fierce low! Hunglestien drops him on his head with a t-bone suplex!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "9!"
The Portland crowd boos. Hunglestien gets behind Fierce and spins him around into an angle slam
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "8!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien butterflies Fierce's arms and then sits out into his High Life!!
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "7!"
Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!
The Rose Garden boos as "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears plays. Robert Hunglestien has Ron Reid raise his arm and hand him the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship belt. He clutches it to his chest and drops to his knees
"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 29 minutes 56 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ROBERT HUNGLESTIEN III!!!"
Guillermo O'Bannon: With four seconds to spare, Hunglestien becomes the 37th Hardkore World Champion! Besides the West Coast title, Robert Hunglestien has now won every title in Hardkore America! But this one has to be the sweetest.
Robert Hunglestien straps the title around his waist and jumps up on the second rope, basking in the venom of the Pacific Northwest fans. He then goes to the other side of the ring and does the same thing
Guillermo O'Bannon: Hunglestien now goes to Palm Springs to wrestle the man he betrayed, Andrew Sinclair for that championship at Palm Springs Punishment. But first, he teams with West Coast Champion Lonewolf McNeely in the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament. James Fierce will do the same, teaming with his KGB partner, The Shootfighter.
Lonewolf McNeely runs down to the ring and congratulates Robert Hunglestien III. The Shootfighter and Paul Soutter come down to the ring and help an exhausted James Fierce to the back. McNeely raises Hunglestien's arm in victory
Guillermo O'Bannon: Next we go back to Palm Springs for two shows. First the Frank A. Marano Jr. Memorial Cup Tag Team Tournament and then our biggest pay-per-view of the year, Palm Springs Punishment! See you there, fans.
Phil Blauer: Isalamalakem!
former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Salakem salam.