Post by Visit Neom on Dec 12, 2023 23:54:19 GMT -5
The shot opens in an auditorium. Ollie, Marty and George Lucas sit in confusion. On the stage is a giant American flag backdrop. Tinto, wearing an army general costume and an oversized helmet that blocks his eyes, marches on to the stage.
TINTO:
Men, all this stuff you hear about Reedy Creek not wanting to drive, wanting to stay out of the race, is a lot of Dinosaur Bones dung. Reedy Creekers love to drive. All real Reedy Creekrs love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big-league ball players and the toughest wrestler…which is definitely Cross Recoba.
Marty rolls his eyes.
TINTO:
Reedy Creekers love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Reedy Creekers play to win all the time. That's why Reedy Creekers have never lost and will never lose a war with exception of Mister Marty who is a shameful 1-3 when attempting to win the Hardkore World championship. He doesn’t really count though. He’s not a full member like the rest of us, more just a money mark.
Marty stands up to leave, but Ollie stops him.
TINTO:
Because very thought of losing is hateful to Reedy Creek. Battle is the most significant competition in which a man can indulge next to ripping and tearing the hordes of hell. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base.
Tinto raises his first in the air triumphantly.
TINTO:
You are not all going to die. Only two percent of you right here today would be killed in a major cup competition. Actually, wait, this is CAR. Only zero percent of you here today will be killed. Every driver is scared in his first action. If he says he's not, he's a Mongo level liar. But the real hero is the man who races even though he's scared. Some Oldhams will get over their fright in a minute under fire, some from clan Lucas take an hour, and some vermin are born Donvovans which means they will only ever know pure cowardice. But the real racer never lets his fear overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his theme park, and his innate love of the Boonta Eve Classic.
George wipes away a tear, inspired.
TINTO:
Don't forget, you don't know I'm here at all. No word of that fact is to be mentioned to my math teacher. The world is not supposed to know what the heck they did with your favorite orphan. I'm not supposed to be commanding this team. I'm not even supposed to be in EPCOT. Let the first bastards to find out be the goddamned Bowlers. Some day, I want them to rise up on their piss-soaked hind legs and howl 'INDEED! It's the goddamned Lighting McQueen car and that son-of-a-bitch Tinto again!
Tinto's furious mother storms into the frame and drags him away by the collar.
MOMMA TINTO:
TINTO! WHERE DID YOU LEARN SUCH LANGUAGE!
The now crying orphan points to Deacon who is smoking a cigar in the back.
DEACON:
So I showed him Patton. What's the big fucking deal.