Post by Sam Sawyer on Jan 23, 2024 1:14:22 GMT -5
Blood starts dripping off their thigh onto the toilet seat. They carve a long line into the skin, feeling a mild sting. It looks good, but it doesn't seem to hurt enough. They retrace the line, deeper this time, and the pool of blood tips over to the floor. They can feel the pain properly now. It doesn't feel good or bad, but it hurts. Without hesitation they begin the second line.
The pain does nothing for them, only because the healing started when they were still in the church. By the time they got home everything was already so clear. Mason, their mother... none of that mattered. All that mattered was their purpose. They still had to make the mark though, and it had to hurt. Although their mind doesn't care, their body still needs to pay penance. It can't just be let off that easily. But above all, they know it will please Him.
Their mind is nearly empty. They don't feel anything towards Him. No desperation, no desire. If it's not enough, they don't deserve Him. They don't feel love. They can feel His presence, and they know He doesn't want it. He just wants their pain.
When they're finished, they take a cloth and wipe the blood off. It immediately floods back to the surface so they do it again. They get a better look this time at the mark. A diagram of straight lines on their right thigh. It's a sort of endless knot, but with the lines passing straight through the crossings instead of bridging over or under. In the center is a large square, consisting almost entirely of a grid of smaller squares. The mark seems to resemble a wrestling ring with a path forever weaving in and out of it. It wasn't their intention for it to look like that. They just followed their instinct. He doesn't care what it looks like.
. . .
Snow is falling over downtown Philadelphia. In the midday sunlight, people crowd the streets. As Sam swiftly makes their way through them, they're glad to see many other people dressed like them: with their hoods up. They might as well be invisible.
After their meeting with Poena, it took them over a week to figure out their next move. In that time they did manage to achieve what they wanted with SKY Force, but they knew they were missing something. At first they waited patiently for it to come to them. They were in no rush. But then their composure started to break. They didn't try to hide it from Him - how could they? - and even started to embrace it. It was hard for them to understand what they felt. A feeling in their gut they didn't know how to satisfy. It wasn't anything to do with their mother or avenging her death, they knew that. Whatever it was, it wasn't long before something that Poena said clicked.
“You can't even see that the very answer to your question lies under your nose.”
“As long as you avert your eyes from The Gaze of the beyond, as long as you ignore what your very TEETH are telling you, you are worthless to Him.”
“Show your devotion, grit your teeeeth and dive into your own darkness.”
They thought the darkness had already returned the day they met with him. Or at least as much of it as they'd need. It isn't the same as before. They're too human now, and their instincts aren't as sharp. But they thought the ruthlessness they needed to get the job done was enough. But if they could get it all back, their power would only grow. They could serve Him as He ought to be served. And yesterday, they realized how they could find it. They could return to Philadelphia, the place where for eight months the darkness was at its peak, where its echoes must reverberate the strongest. The place where they cut their teeth.
Their eyes are as normal as they can make them, and they smile at everyone they cross paths with so as not to attract attention. But they don't notice the drool frozen on the side of their face.
. . .
Joey: Sam!
Their old best friend beams at them when they step into the gym.
Bruce: Holy shit.
Shane stares at them skeptically. It's just those three.
Joey: What are you doing here?
Joey can't hide the childish excitement in his voice. He obviously doesn't bear a grudge for the slap.
Shane: Back for Christmas?
Sam takes the hood off.
Sam: No. Just a quick visit.
Joey grins. Sam gives him a polite smile.
Bruce: ... It's good to see you.
Bruce and Shane still look a little cautious.
Sam: You too.
They lock eyes with him, not smiling anymore. They try to appear trustworthy by giving him a cold, sincere look. Then they lower their eyes to the floor for a few seconds before speaking.
Sam: Nothing's changed.
They look at Joey, then Shane.
Sam: I just thought... it might be a nice thing to do.
Bruce's face softens.
Bruce: Yeah...
By the look in his eyes, Sam guesses he thinks they were feeling lonely.
Shane: Wanna fight?
He gives them a smile.
Sam: Sounds good.
Shane: Maybe... wash your face first.
Sam feels around their face, eventually finding the drool.
. . .
Sam beat him in three minutes. He was far from his old best, although still pretty good, and Sam didn't hold back. If they've been watching Tap Out they'd know how vicious they are now. They gave him all of that, just without the intent to injure. The three of them were a little stunned afterwards. But as they continued to train with Sam, they got used to it.
They trained just like they used to. It was Sam's idea. Weirdly, it wasn't that weird. When Joey talked to them they answered politely, but pretty quickly he got the message they'd prefer to train in silence. He kept chatting with the other two throughout the day, all of them still making sure Sam felt welcome. They were all on a high, and even for Sam the whole thing would've been pretty cool a month ago. They kept going until five.
Shane: I better go. Sorry guys.
Joey: Me too.
Bruce: Yeah... sounds good. Maybe we can meet up later or something with the others?
Sam: No.
Joey: Why not?
Sam: I don't want them to think anything's changed. Just tell them I said hi.
Bruce: Come on, Sam... it'll be great.
Sam stares at Bruce stubbornly.
Joey: It's cool. One step at a time.
Sam looks at Joey, then looks away.
Shane: When's your flight?
Sam: Eight.
Shane: One of us could stay with you for a while if you want.
Sam: Yeah... Joey?
Joey: Sure.
Sam: I wanted to talk to you anyway... about... something.
Joey: ... Oh.
Shane: We should leave you to it then.
Sam: Yeah.
A little taken aback by their abruptness at first, Shane gives them a small grin.
Shane: It was cool seeing you.
Bruce: Yeah. Come back sometime, right?
Sam doesn't give an answer, only a very faint smile. The two of them leave Sam and Joey alone in the gym.
Joey: I told them...
Sam: About the slap?
Joey: Yeah. Sorry.
Sam: I don't care, Joey.
Their voice is suddenly different.
Sam: Joey, I need your help. I'm with Poena now.
Joey's face goes cold.
Sam: He's helping me find Mason. But I need to prove myself to him first.
Joey: Sam... no. We'll help you.
Sam: No. It's the only way. I've tried everything.
He stares at Sam in horror. They sound like a puppet, a robot.
Joey: No... no, Sam... you've got to fight him.
Sam: Just do what I tell you.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head.
Sam: Find two newbies. Two young wrestlers... like you two years ago. Tell them about me. Get them to join. Tell them to meet me here at ten o'clock. Tonight.
Joey: ... What? ... What are you going to do?
Sam: Just do it.
Joey: Why... why closing time?
Sam: So no one interrupts me.
Joey: What the fuck are you going to do, Sam?!
Sam stares at Joey, wondering if they should tell him. After a few seconds, their eyes travel to his bare forearm.
Joey: Sam?
Sam: Just do it. Don't try to stop me. If you tell anyone, it's gonna be bad for everyone. And I'll never find Mason. This way... it won't be so bad. Just trust me.
They salivate trying to wash away the saltiness in their mouth. Why do they suddenly want to eat?
Joey: Sam... I can't let you do this. The real you would want me to fight you.
Sam: This is the real me.
Joey shakes his head, not believing them.
Sam: Joey...
He's not listening to them. He's only hearing Poena.
Sam: Joey.
They raise their voice. When he doesn't react, they clench their fists tightly, feeling anger rise.
Sam: Answer me.
He just stares back hopelessly.
Sam: I could always use you instead. Or... are you on my side?
Joey: Yes! ... Yes. I'll do it.
They study his face. They think they can trust him.
Sam: Go.
He gives them one last worried look then turns and leaves the gym with haste.
They know he's not scared for himself. He's scared for them. He doesn't want them to do something they'll regret should they ever wake up. Sam unclenches their fists, breathing slowly in relief.
. . .
Sam sits in the cafeteria, rewatching November's six person tag on their phone while waiting for the food to arrive. Watching NOMAD win over and over again is the perfect training for controlling their violent urges. Not that they have a problem with violence, they just want to be in control of how and when it happens.
They're completely alone now. They got the gym's new owner to give them the keys, telling him they wanted to lock up for old time's sake. Everything should be perfect, but they're starting to wonder if Poena was wrong. Far from giving them power, this place is making them more antsy and impatient than they've ever felt. They should be focused on the job ahead, but all they're thinking is, “what if the food doesn't show up?”
Luckily, it does. Two portions of sliced grilled beef, with Thai dipping sauce, rice and crudités. They eat the meat while it's hot, then when they're done throw away what's left of the rest. They don't want to ruin the taste. It was probably a mistake to start eating meat again - the hunger it started can rear its head at the worst of times - but that was so worth it. They can relax now, even if they could easily eat more.
At half past nine, they return to the gym. Sitting on the ring apron, they keep their eyes on the door for the next half hour. The two walk in together at five to ten, covered in snow.
Man 1: Hey.
They both just stand there, waiting for a response. They don't take off their coats, distracted by the intense way Sam is staring at them.
Man 1: I'm Luke.
They're both probably in their early twenties. Sam focuses on the silent one.
Man 2: Ben.
Sam: ... Hi. Joey found you?
Luke: Yeah.
Sam: What did he tell you?
Luke: Uh... he said you're having tryouts?
Sam: Yeah... just for my friends. I'm not staying. I hate this place.
Sam tries their best to sound uninterested. Luke and Ben exchange looks, disappointed.
Sam: Everyone here's great though. You might like it. I can show you a few things if you want. Just for half an hour.
Ben: Sure. Awesome.
They start walking towards Sam while taking off their coats.
Luke: Can we just dump these anywhere?
Sam: Yeah... sure.
Sam doesn't take their eyes off of them as they approach. Once they reach the ring, Sam starts marching in the direction they came.
Sam: Just a minute.
They hear Luke and Ben chatting excitedly behind them as they go. Out in the hall, they lock the door. They zip the key in their pants pocket. As they walk back, they quickly confirm that Ben is the weakest. He and Luke don't realize anything's wrong until Sam is almost right in their face. A hard fist knocks Luke to the floor.
Ben: What the fuck?! Are we starting?!
Sam stares at Ben. Their face is completely without pretense now. It's just as cold as before, but now with a clinical determination.
Ben: Falls count anywhere?
A joke? Sam punts him in the dick.
Ben: FUCK!
They let him savor that pain for a few seconds, before spearing him to the floor. Instead of showering him with their usual forearms, they deliver slow deliberate punches. They want him to hurt, but he has to be conscious.
Luke: Get the fuck off him!
Luke shoves them off with surprising force. Sam bursts to their feet and tries to slap him. Luke grabs their arm and whirls them away. He runs at Sam and aims for their chest with a jumping thrust kick but it's sidestepped. Sam kicks out his knee. They lock in a kneebar and scan the room for Ben.
Sam: Don't talk.
Sam feels the back of their head explode in pain. They turn around, releasing the hold, and glare at Ben. That boot probably hurt worse than anything Sam's done to them. Sam scrambles to their feet and sprints towards him as he backs away. He turns to run but gets caught with a lunging shotgun dropkick to the ribs. They quickly pick themselves up and return to the rising Luke. They hit a forearm smash, grab him roughly by the shoulders and shove him into the ring apron. They hit a lariat while he's propped up. After they step back he hits the concrete with a thud. They set their eyes on Ben.
They wrap their legs around his arm and with both hands put a tight grip on his wrist. His wrist feels so thin they hesitate for a second. He doesn't even try to block it. Sam pulls back on the armbar and he yells out. He starts tapping their leg furiously.
Ben: Okay! Okay!
Sam pulls harder.
Ben: I give up, I give up! I GIVE UP!
They keep pulling, but just as they sense the arm is about to break they stop.
Then sensing His disappointment, they pull with all of the strength in their body. They twist their hips around for more leverage, getting him in a vice grip. His elbow quickly dislocates but it only makes Sam want more. They keep up the pressure and try to rip his arm off his body. Only when their own arms start to tire do they stop. It's a sign to move on to something else. As Ben screams Sam is focused on the feeling of the limp wrist in their hands. They look down at the hand and stare at his fingers, wanting to bite them.
They brush the feeling off and get to their feet. They grab hold of his other arm.
Luke: No!
They forgot about Luke. He comes charging at them as they stand frozen in place. He spears them to the ground. As they're pummeled with forearms they quickly regain their senses and shove him off. Instead of going on the attack, he backs away from them to create space. He has his fists up like he thinks he's Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something. The only chance he had was if he stayed on them.
Sam advances on him and as he looks into their eyes he quickly realizes his mistake. He kicks Sam hard in the side of their waist, then looking like he's about to run gets caught in a sleeper hold. They keep it locked in until he's out. Then they go to the cafeteria to fill the kettle.
First they pour the water on his left hand, then move up the arm until they reach the sleeve of his t-shirt. They can't help but feel a sick pleasure at his reaction. They wish it was happiness, but it's just pleasure. It drives them to undo his left boot, take off the sock and pull the tights up to the knee. When that's done, they decide that's enough.
Sam: If anything happens to me, Poena will do your right side. Say it was someone else.
They walk over to Ben.
Sam: Poena'll break your left arm if you say it was me.
. . .
Once they're in the car to the airport, they text Joey, telling him to call an ambulance. They're not sure if they'll get away with it or not. But they feel like it was worth the risk. And even if they get caught, they'll be able to spread plenty more pain in prison.
Sometime in the last few days, they started to feel in the back of their mind that the plan was going to change. Sometime today it became real. They didn't want the darkness back. They wanted to be in control. The darkness might have led them away from His plan. Even so, they feel they might have let Him down. They enjoyed themselves too much. They felt disrespectful at times, a sinner even. Maybe those feelings will change in time, but their gut tells them it doesn't matter. As long as the work is done. Whatever happens... however they feel... whether they do it to be rewarded or they do it because it's right... they're going to make sure that no matter what, the work gets done.
For now though, they're open with Him about how they feel. They can't fight it and they won't deny it. They're hungry for power. They're hungry for His love. They want what Poena has. Hopefully it won't be long before it's not Poena, but Sam, that is His favorite child.
The pain does nothing for them, only because the healing started when they were still in the church. By the time they got home everything was already so clear. Mason, their mother... none of that mattered. All that mattered was their purpose. They still had to make the mark though, and it had to hurt. Although their mind doesn't care, their body still needs to pay penance. It can't just be let off that easily. But above all, they know it will please Him.
Their mind is nearly empty. They don't feel anything towards Him. No desperation, no desire. If it's not enough, they don't deserve Him. They don't feel love. They can feel His presence, and they know He doesn't want it. He just wants their pain.
When they're finished, they take a cloth and wipe the blood off. It immediately floods back to the surface so they do it again. They get a better look this time at the mark. A diagram of straight lines on their right thigh. It's a sort of endless knot, but with the lines passing straight through the crossings instead of bridging over or under. In the center is a large square, consisting almost entirely of a grid of smaller squares. The mark seems to resemble a wrestling ring with a path forever weaving in and out of it. It wasn't their intention for it to look like that. They just followed their instinct. He doesn't care what it looks like.
. . .
Snow is falling over downtown Philadelphia. In the midday sunlight, people crowd the streets. As Sam swiftly makes their way through them, they're glad to see many other people dressed like them: with their hoods up. They might as well be invisible.
After their meeting with Poena, it took them over a week to figure out their next move. In that time they did manage to achieve what they wanted with SKY Force, but they knew they were missing something. At first they waited patiently for it to come to them. They were in no rush. But then their composure started to break. They didn't try to hide it from Him - how could they? - and even started to embrace it. It was hard for them to understand what they felt. A feeling in their gut they didn't know how to satisfy. It wasn't anything to do with their mother or avenging her death, they knew that. Whatever it was, it wasn't long before something that Poena said clicked.
“You can't even see that the very answer to your question lies under your nose.”
“As long as you avert your eyes from The Gaze of the beyond, as long as you ignore what your very TEETH are telling you, you are worthless to Him.”
“Show your devotion, grit your teeeeth and dive into your own darkness.”
They thought the darkness had already returned the day they met with him. Or at least as much of it as they'd need. It isn't the same as before. They're too human now, and their instincts aren't as sharp. But they thought the ruthlessness they needed to get the job done was enough. But if they could get it all back, their power would only grow. They could serve Him as He ought to be served. And yesterday, they realized how they could find it. They could return to Philadelphia, the place where for eight months the darkness was at its peak, where its echoes must reverberate the strongest. The place where they cut their teeth.
Their eyes are as normal as they can make them, and they smile at everyone they cross paths with so as not to attract attention. But they don't notice the drool frozen on the side of their face.
. . .
Joey: Sam!
Their old best friend beams at them when they step into the gym.
Bruce: Holy shit.
Shane stares at them skeptically. It's just those three.
Joey: What are you doing here?
Joey can't hide the childish excitement in his voice. He obviously doesn't bear a grudge for the slap.
Shane: Back for Christmas?
Sam takes the hood off.
Sam: No. Just a quick visit.
Joey grins. Sam gives him a polite smile.
Bruce: ... It's good to see you.
Bruce and Shane still look a little cautious.
Sam: You too.
They lock eyes with him, not smiling anymore. They try to appear trustworthy by giving him a cold, sincere look. Then they lower their eyes to the floor for a few seconds before speaking.
Sam: Nothing's changed.
They look at Joey, then Shane.
Sam: I just thought... it might be a nice thing to do.
Bruce's face softens.
Bruce: Yeah...
By the look in his eyes, Sam guesses he thinks they were feeling lonely.
Shane: Wanna fight?
He gives them a smile.
Sam: Sounds good.
Shane: Maybe... wash your face first.
Sam feels around their face, eventually finding the drool.
. . .
Sam beat him in three minutes. He was far from his old best, although still pretty good, and Sam didn't hold back. If they've been watching Tap Out they'd know how vicious they are now. They gave him all of that, just without the intent to injure. The three of them were a little stunned afterwards. But as they continued to train with Sam, they got used to it.
They trained just like they used to. It was Sam's idea. Weirdly, it wasn't that weird. When Joey talked to them they answered politely, but pretty quickly he got the message they'd prefer to train in silence. He kept chatting with the other two throughout the day, all of them still making sure Sam felt welcome. They were all on a high, and even for Sam the whole thing would've been pretty cool a month ago. They kept going until five.
Shane: I better go. Sorry guys.
Joey: Me too.
Bruce: Yeah... sounds good. Maybe we can meet up later or something with the others?
Sam: No.
Joey: Why not?
Sam: I don't want them to think anything's changed. Just tell them I said hi.
Bruce: Come on, Sam... it'll be great.
Sam stares at Bruce stubbornly.
Joey: It's cool. One step at a time.
Sam looks at Joey, then looks away.
Shane: When's your flight?
Sam: Eight.
Shane: One of us could stay with you for a while if you want.
Sam: Yeah... Joey?
Joey: Sure.
Sam: I wanted to talk to you anyway... about... something.
Joey: ... Oh.
Shane: We should leave you to it then.
Sam: Yeah.
A little taken aback by their abruptness at first, Shane gives them a small grin.
Shane: It was cool seeing you.
Bruce: Yeah. Come back sometime, right?
Sam doesn't give an answer, only a very faint smile. The two of them leave Sam and Joey alone in the gym.
Joey: I told them...
Sam: About the slap?
Joey: Yeah. Sorry.
Sam: I don't care, Joey.
Their voice is suddenly different.
Sam: Joey, I need your help. I'm with Poena now.
Joey's face goes cold.
Sam: He's helping me find Mason. But I need to prove myself to him first.
Joey: Sam... no. We'll help you.
Sam: No. It's the only way. I've tried everything.
He stares at Sam in horror. They sound like a puppet, a robot.
Joey: No... no, Sam... you've got to fight him.
Sam: Just do what I tell you.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head.
Sam: Find two newbies. Two young wrestlers... like you two years ago. Tell them about me. Get them to join. Tell them to meet me here at ten o'clock. Tonight.
Joey: ... What? ... What are you going to do?
Sam: Just do it.
Joey: Why... why closing time?
Sam: So no one interrupts me.
Joey: What the fuck are you going to do, Sam?!
Sam stares at Joey, wondering if they should tell him. After a few seconds, their eyes travel to his bare forearm.
Joey: Sam?
Sam: Just do it. Don't try to stop me. If you tell anyone, it's gonna be bad for everyone. And I'll never find Mason. This way... it won't be so bad. Just trust me.
They salivate trying to wash away the saltiness in their mouth. Why do they suddenly want to eat?
Joey: Sam... I can't let you do this. The real you would want me to fight you.
Sam: This is the real me.
Joey shakes his head, not believing them.
Sam: Joey...
He's not listening to them. He's only hearing Poena.
Sam: Joey.
They raise their voice. When he doesn't react, they clench their fists tightly, feeling anger rise.
Sam: Answer me.
He just stares back hopelessly.
Sam: I could always use you instead. Or... are you on my side?
Joey: Yes! ... Yes. I'll do it.
They study his face. They think they can trust him.
Sam: Go.
He gives them one last worried look then turns and leaves the gym with haste.
They know he's not scared for himself. He's scared for them. He doesn't want them to do something they'll regret should they ever wake up. Sam unclenches their fists, breathing slowly in relief.
. . .
Sam sits in the cafeteria, rewatching November's six person tag on their phone while waiting for the food to arrive. Watching NOMAD win over and over again is the perfect training for controlling their violent urges. Not that they have a problem with violence, they just want to be in control of how and when it happens.
They're completely alone now. They got the gym's new owner to give them the keys, telling him they wanted to lock up for old time's sake. Everything should be perfect, but they're starting to wonder if Poena was wrong. Far from giving them power, this place is making them more antsy and impatient than they've ever felt. They should be focused on the job ahead, but all they're thinking is, “what if the food doesn't show up?”
Luckily, it does. Two portions of sliced grilled beef, with Thai dipping sauce, rice and crudités. They eat the meat while it's hot, then when they're done throw away what's left of the rest. They don't want to ruin the taste. It was probably a mistake to start eating meat again - the hunger it started can rear its head at the worst of times - but that was so worth it. They can relax now, even if they could easily eat more.
At half past nine, they return to the gym. Sitting on the ring apron, they keep their eyes on the door for the next half hour. The two walk in together at five to ten, covered in snow.
Man 1: Hey.
They both just stand there, waiting for a response. They don't take off their coats, distracted by the intense way Sam is staring at them.
Man 1: I'm Luke.
They're both probably in their early twenties. Sam focuses on the silent one.
Man 2: Ben.
Sam: ... Hi. Joey found you?
Luke: Yeah.
Sam: What did he tell you?
Luke: Uh... he said you're having tryouts?
Sam: Yeah... just for my friends. I'm not staying. I hate this place.
Sam tries their best to sound uninterested. Luke and Ben exchange looks, disappointed.
Sam: Everyone here's great though. You might like it. I can show you a few things if you want. Just for half an hour.
Ben: Sure. Awesome.
They start walking towards Sam while taking off their coats.
Luke: Can we just dump these anywhere?
Sam: Yeah... sure.
Sam doesn't take their eyes off of them as they approach. Once they reach the ring, Sam starts marching in the direction they came.
Sam: Just a minute.
They hear Luke and Ben chatting excitedly behind them as they go. Out in the hall, they lock the door. They zip the key in their pants pocket. As they walk back, they quickly confirm that Ben is the weakest. He and Luke don't realize anything's wrong until Sam is almost right in their face. A hard fist knocks Luke to the floor.
Ben: What the fuck?! Are we starting?!
Sam stares at Ben. Their face is completely without pretense now. It's just as cold as before, but now with a clinical determination.
Ben: Falls count anywhere?
A joke? Sam punts him in the dick.
Ben: FUCK!
They let him savor that pain for a few seconds, before spearing him to the floor. Instead of showering him with their usual forearms, they deliver slow deliberate punches. They want him to hurt, but he has to be conscious.
Luke: Get the fuck off him!
Luke shoves them off with surprising force. Sam bursts to their feet and tries to slap him. Luke grabs their arm and whirls them away. He runs at Sam and aims for their chest with a jumping thrust kick but it's sidestepped. Sam kicks out his knee. They lock in a kneebar and scan the room for Ben.
Sam: Don't talk.
Sam feels the back of their head explode in pain. They turn around, releasing the hold, and glare at Ben. That boot probably hurt worse than anything Sam's done to them. Sam scrambles to their feet and sprints towards him as he backs away. He turns to run but gets caught with a lunging shotgun dropkick to the ribs. They quickly pick themselves up and return to the rising Luke. They hit a forearm smash, grab him roughly by the shoulders and shove him into the ring apron. They hit a lariat while he's propped up. After they step back he hits the concrete with a thud. They set their eyes on Ben.
They wrap their legs around his arm and with both hands put a tight grip on his wrist. His wrist feels so thin they hesitate for a second. He doesn't even try to block it. Sam pulls back on the armbar and he yells out. He starts tapping their leg furiously.
Ben: Okay! Okay!
Sam pulls harder.
Ben: I give up, I give up! I GIVE UP!
They keep pulling, but just as they sense the arm is about to break they stop.
Then sensing His disappointment, they pull with all of the strength in their body. They twist their hips around for more leverage, getting him in a vice grip. His elbow quickly dislocates but it only makes Sam want more. They keep up the pressure and try to rip his arm off his body. Only when their own arms start to tire do they stop. It's a sign to move on to something else. As Ben screams Sam is focused on the feeling of the limp wrist in their hands. They look down at the hand and stare at his fingers, wanting to bite them.
They brush the feeling off and get to their feet. They grab hold of his other arm.
Luke: No!
They forgot about Luke. He comes charging at them as they stand frozen in place. He spears them to the ground. As they're pummeled with forearms they quickly regain their senses and shove him off. Instead of going on the attack, he backs away from them to create space. He has his fists up like he thinks he's Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something. The only chance he had was if he stayed on them.
Sam advances on him and as he looks into their eyes he quickly realizes his mistake. He kicks Sam hard in the side of their waist, then looking like he's about to run gets caught in a sleeper hold. They keep it locked in until he's out. Then they go to the cafeteria to fill the kettle.
First they pour the water on his left hand, then move up the arm until they reach the sleeve of his t-shirt. They can't help but feel a sick pleasure at his reaction. They wish it was happiness, but it's just pleasure. It drives them to undo his left boot, take off the sock and pull the tights up to the knee. When that's done, they decide that's enough.
Sam: If anything happens to me, Poena will do your right side. Say it was someone else.
They walk over to Ben.
Sam: Poena'll break your left arm if you say it was me.
. . .
Once they're in the car to the airport, they text Joey, telling him to call an ambulance. They're not sure if they'll get away with it or not. But they feel like it was worth the risk. And even if they get caught, they'll be able to spread plenty more pain in prison.
Sometime in the last few days, they started to feel in the back of their mind that the plan was going to change. Sometime today it became real. They didn't want the darkness back. They wanted to be in control. The darkness might have led them away from His plan. Even so, they feel they might have let Him down. They enjoyed themselves too much. They felt disrespectful at times, a sinner even. Maybe those feelings will change in time, but their gut tells them it doesn't matter. As long as the work is done. Whatever happens... however they feel... whether they do it to be rewarded or they do it because it's right... they're going to make sure that no matter what, the work gets done.
For now though, they're open with Him about how they feel. They can't fight it and they won't deny it. They're hungry for power. They're hungry for His love. They want what Poena has. Hopefully it won't be long before it's not Poena, but Sam, that is His favorite child.