Post by Roscoe Law on Feb 15, 2024 10:52:11 GMT -5
Green Bay, Wisconsin… located in “beautiful” Brown County. Guess which color is most prevalent right now?
For it being this time of year, it has been unusually warm in this part of The Badger State and it shows. But a lifelong resident need not go outside in this bland shit if they don’t care to. Hell, they can close their eyes until the Lyft gets them to Austin Straubel and they’re on the plane to Punta Cana. Why look at the unfrozen tundra for no reason, right?
Although around here, staying in all season tends to make one go a bit mad.
—------------------------------------
Green Bay. Law Manor. Its lone occupant is pulling multiple tubs out of storage. Poorly labeled tubs.
ROSCOE LAW: (exasperated) “Jesus Christ.” (pauses and looks up) “Sorry.” (starts going through one of the containers whilst muttering to himself) “I am grossly ill-prepared for this.” (opens another tub and takes out…)
“…boots. Need these.”
(He sets them aside to open a tub marked “ACCOUTREMENTS” and pulls out a few sealed space bags filled with tights.)
(He finally acknowledges the camera) “See, this is how you store your things long term. Fully washed and air-tight..” (pauses) “To be honest, I’m surprised they’re in the right tub. I’m not known for my organization skills.” (points at the label on the tub) “And who wrote that? ‘ACCOUTREMENTS’... (chuckles) That was probably after a pitcher of old fashioneds.”
(Roscoe sits down and drags a large box over to his chair while giving his full attention to the camera.)
“So here’s what happened. Apparently, nostalgia has value. And I am fully aware that at this point I am nostalgia. So if the HKW front office wants to roll my old bones out to give the long-timers a thrill, then ok. I owe Jonnie that much. Long story short, I’m back… (leans in) …for now. (picks through the box) See, I like my life… but there’s always going to be a part of me that wants to be in Hardkore World. (pulls out a long item wrapped in a towel and starts unwrapping it) So here I am ready to make the magic happen… again. One last time.
“I’m pretty sure this will be the last time.” (shrugs)
(Roscoe removes the towel to reveal… the barbed wire-adorned boat paddle. He chuckles.)
“Fun Fact: This… (holds it up) …is Andrew Karnage’s World Title. And y’know, I never even got a thank you. (looks closely at the barbed wire and then sniffs the paddle) Still smells like him… (sniffs again) …and Syberus for that matter. (wince and puts it with the boots as he continues digging through the box)
“So let’s talk Joey Little Horse, who apparently has no idea who I am… and that’s OK, Joey. Look, I don’t expect you to remember me… or for you to remember that I ‘allegedly’ had almost helped burn down the Palm Springs Convention Center in 2008… or that technically - if we’re looking at lineage anyway - I held the California belt before you did… or that even sitting on my ass at home drinking Oldies and Moscow Mules for the last fifteen years that I am still arguably the greatest wrestler/manager to ever do this shit.
“Having said that, I’m in the same boat when it comes to you. Not a clue what your deal is either, to be honest. Although… (smiles to himself with a faraway look in his eye) …I do remember your sister-in-law when I was here last. Heather Little Owl. (shakes his head and smiles) As a gentleman living in the 21st Century I am fully aware that I am not allowed to utter the phrase ‘hot piece of trim’ because that’s offensive to women probably. So I won’t. (leans in closer) But Joey, I do remember that she was as cute as a button. Given the chance, I would have taken her out for a cone filled with some of that iced cream and I hope I would have got in a lick or two. Mmm mmm!
But if I’m coming back, I need a reason. (pulls an empty can of Pabst out of the box and throws it on the floor behind him) I’m not wasting miles unless there’s a purpose here. Am I the old-school dog-n-pony show? OK. As long as it’s lucrative. (pulls a velvet bag out of the box) Am I here to help the new guys. Sure. Again, the LEAST I can do for Jonnie. Just point me to a greenhorn and I’ll start class. Title run? (pauses in thought) That’s a commitment... and I’m not sure this is anything more than a fling. But who knows… (pulls the Hardkore World Midwest title belt out of the velvet bag and is slightly taken aback)
Umm… was I supposed to return this? (pauses and puts the belt back in the bag) I should put this out somewhere. (places the velvet bag on the pile) Anyway, Joey… I’m going to treat this as an educational endeavor. No need to take notes… you’ll remember. We’ll talk more.”
(Roscoe gets up and walks away but stops and looks once more at the camera…)
“I don’t get many visitors these days. This was nice.”
(Walks away.)
For it being this time of year, it has been unusually warm in this part of The Badger State and it shows. But a lifelong resident need not go outside in this bland shit if they don’t care to. Hell, they can close their eyes until the Lyft gets them to Austin Straubel and they’re on the plane to Punta Cana. Why look at the unfrozen tundra for no reason, right?
Although around here, staying in all season tends to make one go a bit mad.
—------------------------------------
Green Bay. Law Manor. Its lone occupant is pulling multiple tubs out of storage. Poorly labeled tubs.
ROSCOE LAW: (exasperated) “Jesus Christ.” (pauses and looks up) “Sorry.” (starts going through one of the containers whilst muttering to himself) “I am grossly ill-prepared for this.” (opens another tub and takes out…)
“…boots. Need these.”
(He sets them aside to open a tub marked “ACCOUTREMENTS” and pulls out a few sealed space bags filled with tights.)
(He finally acknowledges the camera) “See, this is how you store your things long term. Fully washed and air-tight..” (pauses) “To be honest, I’m surprised they’re in the right tub. I’m not known for my organization skills.” (points at the label on the tub) “And who wrote that? ‘ACCOUTREMENTS’... (chuckles) That was probably after a pitcher of old fashioneds.”
(Roscoe sits down and drags a large box over to his chair while giving his full attention to the camera.)
“So here’s what happened. Apparently, nostalgia has value. And I am fully aware that at this point I am nostalgia. So if the HKW front office wants to roll my old bones out to give the long-timers a thrill, then ok. I owe Jonnie that much. Long story short, I’m back… (leans in) …for now. (picks through the box) See, I like my life… but there’s always going to be a part of me that wants to be in Hardkore World. (pulls out a long item wrapped in a towel and starts unwrapping it) So here I am ready to make the magic happen… again. One last time.
“I’m pretty sure this will be the last time.” (shrugs)
(Roscoe removes the towel to reveal… the barbed wire-adorned boat paddle. He chuckles.)
“Fun Fact: This… (holds it up) …is Andrew Karnage’s World Title. And y’know, I never even got a thank you. (looks closely at the barbed wire and then sniffs the paddle) Still smells like him… (sniffs again) …and Syberus for that matter. (wince and puts it with the boots as he continues digging through the box)
“So let’s talk Joey Little Horse, who apparently has no idea who I am… and that’s OK, Joey. Look, I don’t expect you to remember me… or for you to remember that I ‘allegedly’ had almost helped burn down the Palm Springs Convention Center in 2008… or that technically - if we’re looking at lineage anyway - I held the California belt before you did… or that even sitting on my ass at home drinking Oldies and Moscow Mules for the last fifteen years that I am still arguably the greatest wrestler/manager to ever do this shit.
“Having said that, I’m in the same boat when it comes to you. Not a clue what your deal is either, to be honest. Although… (smiles to himself with a faraway look in his eye) …I do remember your sister-in-law when I was here last. Heather Little Owl. (shakes his head and smiles) As a gentleman living in the 21st Century I am fully aware that I am not allowed to utter the phrase ‘hot piece of trim’ because that’s offensive to women probably. So I won’t. (leans in closer) But Joey, I do remember that she was as cute as a button. Given the chance, I would have taken her out for a cone filled with some of that iced cream and I hope I would have got in a lick or two. Mmm mmm!
But if I’m coming back, I need a reason. (pulls an empty can of Pabst out of the box and throws it on the floor behind him) I’m not wasting miles unless there’s a purpose here. Am I the old-school dog-n-pony show? OK. As long as it’s lucrative. (pulls a velvet bag out of the box) Am I here to help the new guys. Sure. Again, the LEAST I can do for Jonnie. Just point me to a greenhorn and I’ll start class. Title run? (pauses in thought) That’s a commitment... and I’m not sure this is anything more than a fling. But who knows… (pulls the Hardkore World Midwest title belt out of the velvet bag and is slightly taken aback)
Umm… was I supposed to return this? (pauses and puts the belt back in the bag) I should put this out somewhere. (places the velvet bag on the pile) Anyway, Joey… I’m going to treat this as an educational endeavor. No need to take notes… you’ll remember. We’ll talk more.”
(Roscoe gets up and walks away but stops and looks once more at the camera…)
“I don’t get many visitors these days. This was nice.”
(Walks away.)