Post by Sam Sawyer on Mar 7, 2024 11:04:33 GMT -5
Sam usually has no trouble sleeping, but it just won't come tonight. They lie snug and still, like a hibernating animal, but they're unable to keep their mind from returning to Him.
They can still feel Him, faintly in the distance. Some part of their soul seems to be screaming out for Him, begging Him to come closer. It wants His embrace. But more than that, it wants... They want...
They get out of bed and turn on the light. Then as they sit on the mattress, they stare at the mark on their thigh.
Sam: Hi...
Their voice is almost friendly, more pleasant than when talking to anyone on Earth these days.
Sam: We've never talked. I know we don't need to, but I just want to... thank you.
The mark stares back at them silently. Two months old now, the pain has faded completely. But as far away as He feels, they know He's listening.
Sam: Thank you for giving me the strength to... control my urges. The sacrifices, the food... I'm doing much better now I'm over that. I can focus on our plan. But... I know you know... I'm still weak. I still think about you all the time. I hope you know that it's just because I want to please you. I want to know I'm doing what you want. But I should have more faith. I know that. Please, don't help me. I'll prove I have faith. I'll prove I can be strong. I'll prove it to you.
The soft murmur could be more confident, but in their heart they're as sincere as can be.
Sam: I won't let weakness get in the way of my work. Jack will be yours. Or he'll suffer. I'll make sure of it.
They smile inside, almost sensing a warmth from Him. They place their hand on top of the mark.
Sam: It will make me happy too.
They stare at the back of their hand, feeling so much stronger already.
Sam: I love you.
They say their farewell with a devout formality. They don't notice the tear in their eye.
. . .
Kyle was the third sacrifice. A student of Sam's gym in Vegas, he received his punishment a few days after Christmas. Sam wanted too much from him. More than he could give. Everyone including Kyle were doing all they physically could to please them; all ordered to endure torturous long hours and uncompromising brutality. Even with no real reason given, by any measure they all delivered spectacularly. Sam knew that. Later they would confess to Him that it wasn't disappointment in Kyle that motivated the assault.
The hunger drove Sam to madness. With their bare hands they intended to bludgeon him to within an inch of his life. If some of the others hadn't come to his rescue, they would have done. He was left in a pretty bad state regardless, and having seen Sam's true colors everyone wanted out. Everyone except Mitchell, Sam's former prisoner and most loyal follower. Today only four remain: Sam, Mitchell, Carlos and Oliver. Carlos and Oliver claimed they were looking out for Mitchell's safety, but they probably just didn't want to walk away from the free training. Whatever the case, the gym is at full strength, stronger than ever.
Sam conquered their selfishness before long and begun to serve only Him. As much as they feel He enjoyed the sacrifices, they worried He may start to hold them in disdain for their desperation. On their darkest day they came close to deciding to mutilate themselves in some way as punishment for being so pathetic. But then they would be less useful as a weapon for Him. Just as they would be less useful in prison. They set their sights higher. No more petty sacrifices. They would give Him what He really wants. What He's wanted for a long time. They would do what Poena has failed to do and deliver Jack Diamond to Him.
Their three students grew suspicious as Sam began to focus all of their attention on Jack. They were ordered to study his matches during every second of their brief down time and imitate him in the ring. The way Sam seemed to be intent not on beating him, but hurting him, reminded them all of Poena. Sam neither confirmed nor denied their alliance. Poena the man is nothing to them. Poena to everyone else is to them merely a code word for Him. Every time his name is spoken, they have to control their jealousy.
It's been ten days since Sam talked to Him. Despite their promise to be strong, their love for Him as only grown deeper. His presence feeling more and more like a dream, they long for Him to return.
Sam jumps rope as Oliver and Mitchell fight in the ring. Carlos is off somewhere. With no break since their last fight, Sam starts to feel a mild burn in their lungs. The pain never gets much stronger than that. Either their body has grown immune to it or their mind has. A pity, but a good sign. They focus on the sound of the rope lashing relentlessly against the floor. They've emptied their mind as much as they can. Lust and impatience having proven to be more of a distraction than motivation, Jack is barely a blimp on the horizon.
In the ring, the two rig the fight in order to practice a lot of high speed counter sequences and rope running, as per Sam's instructions. Mitchell screws his eyes shut in frustration as Oliver takes his foot off the pedal.
Mitchell: Not again... for fuck's sake.
As Oliver slows to a jog, he takes exception to Mitchell's disparaging tone and knocks him off balance with a forearm.
Oliver: Fuck you.
Mitchell lunges at him. Oliver tries to back off but lands flat on his behind. Mitchell boots him in the cheek, then wearing a sadistic scowl, locks him in a bicep slicer. He keeps the hold applied after Oliver taps out.
Sam: Mitchell!
Mitchell snaps his head around, looking surprised and hurt. He lets Oliver go.
Mitchell: He had it coming, Sam.
Sam is at a loss. Their vacant stare slowly twists into frustration.
Sam: I'm the boss! I AM!
Mitchell's entire body seems to shrink pathetically in fear. Sam seethes as they look at Oliver, eyes flaring with panic and anger.
Sam: What have you done?!
Mitchell: He... he's alright...
Sam: Oliver!
Oliver pulls himself to a sitting position. He looks almost as angry as Sam.
Sam: How bad is it?
Oliver: ... It's nothing.
Sam nods their head. Their face relaxes a little.
Sam: Shake hands.
Oliver and Mitchell turn to face each other. They do nothing but glare.
Sam: Shake hands!
Reluctantly they do as Sam says.
Sam: This is important, remember? It's more important than you. It's more important than you. This is hard enough without having to worry about each other. We're a team. Always. Forever. If we do this together... I'll have him. I'll have him.
Oliver raises his eyebrows. Mitchell smiles.
Sam: Shake hands again.
Sam studies them closely. Mitchell offers his hand, staring earnestly into Oliver's eyes. Oliver takes the hand and shakes it, then pats him on the back.
. . .
As Sam looks at us from the same barren bedroom, it's immediately obvious that something isn't right. Although they've tamed since their match at TOW 19, their eyes glow with an unfamiliar intensity and purpose.
“It's time you all knew.”
They have a strange, disapproving tone. Almost superior sounding.
“He is real. The God Poena speaks about is real. I'm going to be using my position at Tap Out to help enforce His will. Look at my last match as an example of what will happen to the unfaithful.”
They remain cold.
“Poena... thank you for showing Him to me. I should be grateful to you for the rest of my life, I guess. I will respect you as long as you are His Vessel. You can call me your follower if you want, but don't expect me to listen to you. Don't tell me what to do. He knows how I feel about you. He understands. I only answer to Him.”
They address Poena matter-of-factly, but their bitterness towards him is obvious. They take a heavy breath, then the fire lurking inside them suddenly boils over.
“Jack... I hope you're listening.”
They glare into the camera.
“This is all about you. He wants you, and I am going to make sure He gets you. It is your destiny.”
Their face breaks into an emotional scowl as they implore Jack with all of their might.
“You are just... perfect. Even before I found Him I knew there was something special about you. Something different. You were my favorite XHF wrestler. You might have even become my favorite ever if you hadn't... if I could've gotten over what you did to The Child. But... that's what's actually so great about you. That's why you're Jack. Fucking. Diamond.”
There's a brief flash of a smile.
“You will be more important to Him than anyone. More than me. More than Poena. As much as I will hate being in your shadow, it will be worth it knowing I brought you to Him!”
They grin, staring wistfully into the camera.
“If you would just listen to me, listen to Him, listen to the darkness inside you, you would change the world forever. You would give the whole world... Him. His Pain. And His Love.”
Their expression sours. The scowl on their face says “how could you?”
“But I know it won't be that easy to open your eyes. You have a perfect life, too much to lose. You won't risk it, and even if you were a hundred percent sure I was right, you're probably too selfish. You wouldn't give yourself to the world even if you knew it needed you. You don't get a championship belt or worldwide fame for the things that really matter.”
After a few seconds of silence, they huff gently through their nose.
“So... Jack... for now I'm going to make sure you suffer instead.”
Reality starts to set in as the look on their face turns clearly and painfully genuine.
“You want to turn your back on Him? That's what happens. March 17th might be only chance. You're going to remember that date forever. March 17th, 2024.”
Malice is now in their eyes.
“I'll beat you if I can, 'cause I know how much you'll hate that too, but the match is just an excuse. I've prepared for Jason, and Wildcat could maybe be useful, but I don't care about them. All I want is you.”
Their face shivers with anger.
“I bet you're thinking you've got me covered. You've dealt with Poena, how hard can I be, right? Well... I'll give him credit for setting the bar high. But you could never understand how badly I want to clear it. I'm not Poena. I'm not Sam. I'm just jealous... and fucking obsessed... and I'm going to make you suffer like you deserve if it's the last thing I do.”
They close their eyes, looking as though their impatience has become too much to bear. Eventually they open them and resume their glare.
“He's counting on it.”
They can still feel Him, faintly in the distance. Some part of their soul seems to be screaming out for Him, begging Him to come closer. It wants His embrace. But more than that, it wants... They want...
They get out of bed and turn on the light. Then as they sit on the mattress, they stare at the mark on their thigh.
Sam: Hi...
Their voice is almost friendly, more pleasant than when talking to anyone on Earth these days.
Sam: We've never talked. I know we don't need to, but I just want to... thank you.
The mark stares back at them silently. Two months old now, the pain has faded completely. But as far away as He feels, they know He's listening.
Sam: Thank you for giving me the strength to... control my urges. The sacrifices, the food... I'm doing much better now I'm over that. I can focus on our plan. But... I know you know... I'm still weak. I still think about you all the time. I hope you know that it's just because I want to please you. I want to know I'm doing what you want. But I should have more faith. I know that. Please, don't help me. I'll prove I have faith. I'll prove I can be strong. I'll prove it to you.
The soft murmur could be more confident, but in their heart they're as sincere as can be.
Sam: I won't let weakness get in the way of my work. Jack will be yours. Or he'll suffer. I'll make sure of it.
They smile inside, almost sensing a warmth from Him. They place their hand on top of the mark.
Sam: It will make me happy too.
They stare at the back of their hand, feeling so much stronger already.
Sam: I love you.
They say their farewell with a devout formality. They don't notice the tear in their eye.
. . .
Kyle was the third sacrifice. A student of Sam's gym in Vegas, he received his punishment a few days after Christmas. Sam wanted too much from him. More than he could give. Everyone including Kyle were doing all they physically could to please them; all ordered to endure torturous long hours and uncompromising brutality. Even with no real reason given, by any measure they all delivered spectacularly. Sam knew that. Later they would confess to Him that it wasn't disappointment in Kyle that motivated the assault.
The hunger drove Sam to madness. With their bare hands they intended to bludgeon him to within an inch of his life. If some of the others hadn't come to his rescue, they would have done. He was left in a pretty bad state regardless, and having seen Sam's true colors everyone wanted out. Everyone except Mitchell, Sam's former prisoner and most loyal follower. Today only four remain: Sam, Mitchell, Carlos and Oliver. Carlos and Oliver claimed they were looking out for Mitchell's safety, but they probably just didn't want to walk away from the free training. Whatever the case, the gym is at full strength, stronger than ever.
Sam conquered their selfishness before long and begun to serve only Him. As much as they feel He enjoyed the sacrifices, they worried He may start to hold them in disdain for their desperation. On their darkest day they came close to deciding to mutilate themselves in some way as punishment for being so pathetic. But then they would be less useful as a weapon for Him. Just as they would be less useful in prison. They set their sights higher. No more petty sacrifices. They would give Him what He really wants. What He's wanted for a long time. They would do what Poena has failed to do and deliver Jack Diamond to Him.
Their three students grew suspicious as Sam began to focus all of their attention on Jack. They were ordered to study his matches during every second of their brief down time and imitate him in the ring. The way Sam seemed to be intent not on beating him, but hurting him, reminded them all of Poena. Sam neither confirmed nor denied their alliance. Poena the man is nothing to them. Poena to everyone else is to them merely a code word for Him. Every time his name is spoken, they have to control their jealousy.
It's been ten days since Sam talked to Him. Despite their promise to be strong, their love for Him as only grown deeper. His presence feeling more and more like a dream, they long for Him to return.
Sam jumps rope as Oliver and Mitchell fight in the ring. Carlos is off somewhere. With no break since their last fight, Sam starts to feel a mild burn in their lungs. The pain never gets much stronger than that. Either their body has grown immune to it or their mind has. A pity, but a good sign. They focus on the sound of the rope lashing relentlessly against the floor. They've emptied their mind as much as they can. Lust and impatience having proven to be more of a distraction than motivation, Jack is barely a blimp on the horizon.
In the ring, the two rig the fight in order to practice a lot of high speed counter sequences and rope running, as per Sam's instructions. Mitchell screws his eyes shut in frustration as Oliver takes his foot off the pedal.
Mitchell: Not again... for fuck's sake.
As Oliver slows to a jog, he takes exception to Mitchell's disparaging tone and knocks him off balance with a forearm.
Oliver: Fuck you.
Mitchell lunges at him. Oliver tries to back off but lands flat on his behind. Mitchell boots him in the cheek, then wearing a sadistic scowl, locks him in a bicep slicer. He keeps the hold applied after Oliver taps out.
Sam: Mitchell!
Mitchell snaps his head around, looking surprised and hurt. He lets Oliver go.
Mitchell: He had it coming, Sam.
Sam is at a loss. Their vacant stare slowly twists into frustration.
Sam: I'm the boss! I AM!
Mitchell's entire body seems to shrink pathetically in fear. Sam seethes as they look at Oliver, eyes flaring with panic and anger.
Sam: What have you done?!
Mitchell: He... he's alright...
Sam: Oliver!
Oliver pulls himself to a sitting position. He looks almost as angry as Sam.
Sam: How bad is it?
Oliver: ... It's nothing.
Sam nods their head. Their face relaxes a little.
Sam: Shake hands.
Oliver and Mitchell turn to face each other. They do nothing but glare.
Sam: Shake hands!
Reluctantly they do as Sam says.
Sam: This is important, remember? It's more important than you. It's more important than you. This is hard enough without having to worry about each other. We're a team. Always. Forever. If we do this together... I'll have him. I'll have him.
Oliver raises his eyebrows. Mitchell smiles.
Sam: Shake hands again.
Sam studies them closely. Mitchell offers his hand, staring earnestly into Oliver's eyes. Oliver takes the hand and shakes it, then pats him on the back.
. . .
As Sam looks at us from the same barren bedroom, it's immediately obvious that something isn't right. Although they've tamed since their match at TOW 19, their eyes glow with an unfamiliar intensity and purpose.
“It's time you all knew.”
They have a strange, disapproving tone. Almost superior sounding.
“He is real. The God Poena speaks about is real. I'm going to be using my position at Tap Out to help enforce His will. Look at my last match as an example of what will happen to the unfaithful.”
They remain cold.
“Poena... thank you for showing Him to me. I should be grateful to you for the rest of my life, I guess. I will respect you as long as you are His Vessel. You can call me your follower if you want, but don't expect me to listen to you. Don't tell me what to do. He knows how I feel about you. He understands. I only answer to Him.”
They address Poena matter-of-factly, but their bitterness towards him is obvious. They take a heavy breath, then the fire lurking inside them suddenly boils over.
“Jack... I hope you're listening.”
They glare into the camera.
“This is all about you. He wants you, and I am going to make sure He gets you. It is your destiny.”
Their face breaks into an emotional scowl as they implore Jack with all of their might.
“You are just... perfect. Even before I found Him I knew there was something special about you. Something different. You were my favorite XHF wrestler. You might have even become my favorite ever if you hadn't... if I could've gotten over what you did to The Child. But... that's what's actually so great about you. That's why you're Jack. Fucking. Diamond.”
There's a brief flash of a smile.
“You will be more important to Him than anyone. More than me. More than Poena. As much as I will hate being in your shadow, it will be worth it knowing I brought you to Him!”
They grin, staring wistfully into the camera.
“If you would just listen to me, listen to Him, listen to the darkness inside you, you would change the world forever. You would give the whole world... Him. His Pain. And His Love.”
Their expression sours. The scowl on their face says “how could you?”
“But I know it won't be that easy to open your eyes. You have a perfect life, too much to lose. You won't risk it, and even if you were a hundred percent sure I was right, you're probably too selfish. You wouldn't give yourself to the world even if you knew it needed you. You don't get a championship belt or worldwide fame for the things that really matter.”
After a few seconds of silence, they huff gently through their nose.
“So... Jack... for now I'm going to make sure you suffer instead.”
Reality starts to set in as the look on their face turns clearly and painfully genuine.
“You want to turn your back on Him? That's what happens. March 17th might be only chance. You're going to remember that date forever. March 17th, 2024.”
Malice is now in their eyes.
“I'll beat you if I can, 'cause I know how much you'll hate that too, but the match is just an excuse. I've prepared for Jason, and Wildcat could maybe be useful, but I don't care about them. All I want is you.”
Their face shivers with anger.
“I bet you're thinking you've got me covered. You've dealt with Poena, how hard can I be, right? Well... I'll give him credit for setting the bar high. But you could never understand how badly I want to clear it. I'm not Poena. I'm not Sam. I'm just jealous... and fucking obsessed... and I'm going to make you suffer like you deserve if it's the last thing I do.”
They close their eyes, looking as though their impatience has become too much to bear. Eventually they open them and resume their glare.
“He's counting on it.”