Block, Block, Down, Low Kick
Mar 30, 2024 15:46:32 GMT -5
Jonnie Valentine, flo, and 2 more like this
Post by Kilroy on Mar 30, 2024 15:46:32 GMT -5
{The shot opens on Kilroy Evans, sitting on a bench outside the Footprint Center in Phoenix, Arizona. On the opposite end of the bench is his and Andrew Karnage's travel bags. On the middle of the bench, carefuly placed between both, are the Hardkore World Tag Team Championships. Despite being bandaged up and the gray showing in his beard more than ever, Kilroy smiles a contented smile as he hums and waits. He doesn't wait long as a car pulls up and Andrew Karnage gets out of the driver's side. As Karnage moves to grab their luggage, he notices Kilroy keeps looking at him, shifting his eyes from the titles and back.}
Andrew Karnage: ...what?
{Without saying anything, Kilroy picks up his phone and taps the screen. A video or sound clip starts playing.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP* YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage rolls his eyes, but smirks back while grabbing the bags.}
Andrew Karnage: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turns out I do and it feels pretty good. So let's not turn that into a thing and get moving already. You promised to update me on the office gossip on the drive. C'mon already!
{A happy Kilroy grabs the titles and piles into the MVCII rental car of victory. The shot cuts to a montage as The Alkaline Trio's cover of "Movin' Right Along" plays low in the background. First, to Kilroy and Karnage eating a quick meal in a diner.}
Kilroy Evans: Can you pass me the salt?
Andrew Karnage: Mm-hmm.
{The salt is passed and Kilroy sets it down to immediately tap on his phone screen.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage glances up, mildly annoyed but doesn't say anything. The shot cuts to them at a fan event. They're both sitting at a table signing autographs. Karnage stops and shakes his Sharpie.}
Andrew Karnage: I think this one's done for. Toss me another?
Kilroy Evans: Can do.
{Kilroy tosses one over and Karnage grabs it out of the air. Kilroy immdiately taps on his phone.}
Chanting Crowd Clip: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{This prompts the fans at the table to join in and keep the chant going. Karnage just stops to stare at him while Kilroy keeps staring down at the photo he's now signing very carefully. The shot cuts to the both of them exiting a store.}
Andrew Karnage: Do you have the key fob thing for the car?
{Karnage pats his pockets and pulls it from one of the back ones.}
Andrew Karnage: Never mind, I...
{Kilroy holds up his phone.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Kilroy puts his phone away and takes off running. Karnage cracks his knuckles and walks after him. The shot cuts to them streaming together ('member that?) under the banner "Miracle Videogame Connection II" and playing "A Way Out." Kilroy looks over at the chat.}
Kilroy Evans: Oh hey, the mods are saying new emotes are online. Wonder how long it'll take to see---
{Kilroy is interrupted by a donation coming in, accompanied with a familiar soundbite.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage silently lowers his controller and pulls his fist back, ready to drive it into Kilroy's left shoulder.}
Kilroy Evans: WB's Monty Sullivan, thank you for the dona---
{The shot abruptly cuts to Kilroy Evans, standing in front of a brick wall. He's outside somewhere unknown, but relatively busy given the faint sound of traffic and people in the background. He's wearing jeans, sneakers, and a custom t-shirt. This one has the character portrait of Johnny Cage from MK2 on it with "D, D, D, D, HK" underneath in the Mortal Kombat font. He's holding his Hardkore World tag team title on his left shoulder, which makes it more difficult for him to rub his left shoulder like his currently is, but he stops and looks into the camera as his grimace shifts into a bright smile.}
Kilroy Evans: Well this is weird. My world title shots are normally spaced way further out. For insurance purposes, I assume. But! Here we are again, Florida Man. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed. I think it's fair to say, all things considered, I've been shockingly nice.
{Kilroy gaze gets unfixed as his smile stretches further. After a moment, helooks to his left at the tag title on his shoulder and grimaces.}
Kilroy Evans: Okay, it's not just me, right? This looks different than it did in January, right? Did reality shift and no one tell me? I told you guys to tell me if it did! What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Someone screwed up and Palm Springs Punishment is getting headlined by the leash kids! They're gonna strap us together and play a game of "how long can we stay on the air with this level of carnage?!"
{Somewhere, possibly nearby, a jacked mormon sneezes out of nowhere.}
Kilroy Evans: Flurman. I am only too excited for the match. Not just to fight you again. Not just because we're being tied together in the hope that mutually assured destruction does its thing. But because I wanna see if you can do it this time. If YOU can do it. Because, make no doubt about it, I got beat last time. Not by losing to Florida Man, though! I got beat by the rest of...Philthy Rich...making themselves known. And of course that'll stop me. It kept working when The Anointed did it, didn't it? So we all know that I'm not some ultimate kind of final boss. You don't need six or seven guys to beat me down and out. We know that Philthy Rich can do it. It's not really difficult. In fact, it's really kind of odd that there's a group of people who've pulled together just to try and get rid of me. It's weird, I really don't understand. And why now? And why them? What is the actual benefit to this? I suppose I should feel lucky, because almost any other combination of people could've probably already succeeded.
{Kilroy tilts his head as he peers into the camera.}
Kilroy Evans: To answer your question, Marty, it would be very easy. I mean, if you think about it, you already know how to do it. It'd be what would murder you pretty quick as well. And if Phil thought about it, he'd ask you about it. AVB wouldn't care, he just wants to cause problems and disruptions, and I can respect that to a degree. I could tell you right now how to do it. It's so obvious when you think about it. Here.
{As Kilroy keeps talking the sound distorts and drops out while his mouth is digitally erased. The shot tilts and the color disappears until, just as suddenly, it all reverts back to normal.}
Kilroy Evans: It would be that simple and brutally effective. But, it won't happen. Because Phil can't think that way. So until you're ready to actually murder me, leave me and Florida Man alone. We have important business to attend to.
{Kilroy pauses and closes his eyes, breathing deep before he opens them again and continues.}
Kilroy Evans: What is want outta this match, is to know. The title is there for the taking, but not what I want outta alllllll of this! I want to know if I can beat Florida Man or if he can beat me. Not Florida Man and Philthy Rich! Not whatever dumb shit Phil's gonna have ready for Palm Springs! I wanna know who, after we're done beating the fuck out of the remaining, lonely, parts of our brains that still function like they should, wins. Call me a scientist, because I have a working idea about that answer and I NEED to put it to the test! I don't know where the answer lies specifically but I bet it's somewhere in you. Maybe if I beat and bleed it out we'll find out for sure. Maybe if I bite through to the creamy center of your brain I'll find that knowledge so I can stuff it down Phillip Blauer's throat until he chokes on it and DIES!
{Kilroy stares at the camera, breathing heavily. When he goes to speak again, he suddenly stops and wipes his mouth.}
Kilroy Evans: Sorry. Started thinkin' about possibilities and got a little excited by the prospects. Florida Man, when ut's all said and one, I dunno how much longer I got left. So I will not, repeat, NOT be cheated out of a chance to get some real answers. Tell 'em to stay away. Threaten 'em, I don't care. Trust yourself and I will too. Gimme the true one-on-one experience with you. Help me help you.
{Kilroy looks over and smiles as Andrew Karnage walks into shot.}
Andrew Karnage: Errands are done. And look what I found in the hardware store!
{Karnage tosses something to Kilroy, who holds it up to inspect it. It's a small file, not for nails, but proper metal filing. Kilroy opens his mouth and maneuvers it inside, briefly setting it against each tooth and gauging the ease of use. He makes a few pratice filing strokes and pulls it back out, overjoyed.}
Kilroy Evans: Oh my God, it's perfect. Now I can give the champ the biting contest he deserves!
Andrew Karnage: No problem, I---no.
{Karnage points to Kilroy who has paused in the process of raising up his phone. There's a brief staredown until Kilroy moves his finger to his phone. Karnage closes the distance and slaps the phone out of his hand with no hesitation. He then holds up his phone and taps the screen.}
Wrestling Announcer: "LARIOTO~!"
{Before Kilroy can react, Karnage delivers a stiff, short arm lariot. Kilroy is knocked over out of shot, followed immediately by his sneakers flying up and then out of sight.}
Andrew Karnage: Hm. Now would've been the perfect time to play the clip. Shame.
{Karnage bends down to drag Kilroy away as the shot fades out.}
Andrew Karnage: ...what?
{Without saying anything, Kilroy picks up his phone and taps the screen. A video or sound clip starts playing.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP* YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage rolls his eyes, but smirks back while grabbing the bags.}
Andrew Karnage: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turns out I do and it feels pretty good. So let's not turn that into a thing and get moving already. You promised to update me on the office gossip on the drive. C'mon already!
{A happy Kilroy grabs the titles and piles into the MVCII rental car of victory. The shot cuts to a montage as The Alkaline Trio's cover of "Movin' Right Along" plays low in the background. First, to Kilroy and Karnage eating a quick meal in a diner.}
Kilroy Evans: Can you pass me the salt?
Andrew Karnage: Mm-hmm.
{The salt is passed and Kilroy sets it down to immediately tap on his phone screen.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage glances up, mildly annoyed but doesn't say anything. The shot cuts to them at a fan event. They're both sitting at a table signing autographs. Karnage stops and shakes his Sharpie.}
Andrew Karnage: I think this one's done for. Toss me another?
Kilroy Evans: Can do.
{Kilroy tosses one over and Karnage grabs it out of the air. Kilroy immdiately taps on his phone.}
Chanting Crowd Clip: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{This prompts the fans at the table to join in and keep the chant going. Karnage just stops to stare at him while Kilroy keeps staring down at the photo he's now signing very carefully. The shot cuts to the both of them exiting a store.}
Andrew Karnage: Do you have the key fob thing for the car?
{Karnage pats his pockets and pulls it from one of the back ones.}
Andrew Karnage: Never mind, I...
{Kilroy holds up his phone.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Kilroy puts his phone away and takes off running. Karnage cracks his knuckles and walks after him. The shot cuts to them streaming together ('member that?) under the banner "Miracle Videogame Connection II" and playing "A Way Out." Kilroy looks over at the chat.}
Kilroy Evans: Oh hey, the mods are saying new emotes are online. Wonder how long it'll take to see---
{Kilroy is interrupted by a donation coming in, accompanied with a familiar soundbite.}
Chanting Crowd: "YOU STILL GOT IT! *CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*"
{Karnage silently lowers his controller and pulls his fist back, ready to drive it into Kilroy's left shoulder.}
Kilroy Evans: WB's Monty Sullivan, thank you for the dona---
{The shot abruptly cuts to Kilroy Evans, standing in front of a brick wall. He's outside somewhere unknown, but relatively busy given the faint sound of traffic and people in the background. He's wearing jeans, sneakers, and a custom t-shirt. This one has the character portrait of Johnny Cage from MK2 on it with "D, D, D, D, HK" underneath in the Mortal Kombat font. He's holding his Hardkore World tag team title on his left shoulder, which makes it more difficult for him to rub his left shoulder like his currently is, but he stops and looks into the camera as his grimace shifts into a bright smile.}
Kilroy Evans: Well this is weird. My world title shots are normally spaced way further out. For insurance purposes, I assume. But! Here we are again, Florida Man. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed. I think it's fair to say, all things considered, I've been shockingly nice.
{Kilroy gaze gets unfixed as his smile stretches further. After a moment, helooks to his left at the tag title on his shoulder and grimaces.}
Kilroy Evans: Okay, it's not just me, right? This looks different than it did in January, right? Did reality shift and no one tell me? I told you guys to tell me if it did! What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Someone screwed up and Palm Springs Punishment is getting headlined by the leash kids! They're gonna strap us together and play a game of "how long can we stay on the air with this level of carnage?!"
{Somewhere, possibly nearby, a jacked mormon sneezes out of nowhere.}
Kilroy Evans: Flurman. I am only too excited for the match. Not just to fight you again. Not just because we're being tied together in the hope that mutually assured destruction does its thing. But because I wanna see if you can do it this time. If YOU can do it. Because, make no doubt about it, I got beat last time. Not by losing to Florida Man, though! I got beat by the rest of...Philthy Rich...making themselves known. And of course that'll stop me. It kept working when The Anointed did it, didn't it? So we all know that I'm not some ultimate kind of final boss. You don't need six or seven guys to beat me down and out. We know that Philthy Rich can do it. It's not really difficult. In fact, it's really kind of odd that there's a group of people who've pulled together just to try and get rid of me. It's weird, I really don't understand. And why now? And why them? What is the actual benefit to this? I suppose I should feel lucky, because almost any other combination of people could've probably already succeeded.
{Kilroy tilts his head as he peers into the camera.}
Kilroy Evans: To answer your question, Marty, it would be very easy. I mean, if you think about it, you already know how to do it. It'd be what would murder you pretty quick as well. And if Phil thought about it, he'd ask you about it. AVB wouldn't care, he just wants to cause problems and disruptions, and I can respect that to a degree. I could tell you right now how to do it. It's so obvious when you think about it. Here.
{As Kilroy keeps talking the sound distorts and drops out while his mouth is digitally erased. The shot tilts and the color disappears until, just as suddenly, it all reverts back to normal.}
Kilroy Evans: It would be that simple and brutally effective. But, it won't happen. Because Phil can't think that way. So until you're ready to actually murder me, leave me and Florida Man alone. We have important business to attend to.
{Kilroy pauses and closes his eyes, breathing deep before he opens them again and continues.}
Kilroy Evans: What is want outta this match, is to know. The title is there for the taking, but not what I want outta alllllll of this! I want to know if I can beat Florida Man or if he can beat me. Not Florida Man and Philthy Rich! Not whatever dumb shit Phil's gonna have ready for Palm Springs! I wanna know who, after we're done beating the fuck out of the remaining, lonely, parts of our brains that still function like they should, wins. Call me a scientist, because I have a working idea about that answer and I NEED to put it to the test! I don't know where the answer lies specifically but I bet it's somewhere in you. Maybe if I beat and bleed it out we'll find out for sure. Maybe if I bite through to the creamy center of your brain I'll find that knowledge so I can stuff it down Phillip Blauer's throat until he chokes on it and DIES!
{Kilroy stares at the camera, breathing heavily. When he goes to speak again, he suddenly stops and wipes his mouth.}
Kilroy Evans: Sorry. Started thinkin' about possibilities and got a little excited by the prospects. Florida Man, when ut's all said and one, I dunno how much longer I got left. So I will not, repeat, NOT be cheated out of a chance to get some real answers. Tell 'em to stay away. Threaten 'em, I don't care. Trust yourself and I will too. Gimme the true one-on-one experience with you. Help me help you.
{Kilroy looks over and smiles as Andrew Karnage walks into shot.}
Andrew Karnage: Errands are done. And look what I found in the hardware store!
{Karnage tosses something to Kilroy, who holds it up to inspect it. It's a small file, not for nails, but proper metal filing. Kilroy opens his mouth and maneuvers it inside, briefly setting it against each tooth and gauging the ease of use. He makes a few pratice filing strokes and pulls it back out, overjoyed.}
Kilroy Evans: Oh my God, it's perfect. Now I can give the champ the biting contest he deserves!
Andrew Karnage: No problem, I---no.
{Karnage points to Kilroy who has paused in the process of raising up his phone. There's a brief staredown until Kilroy moves his finger to his phone. Karnage closes the distance and slaps the phone out of his hand with no hesitation. He then holds up his phone and taps the screen.}
Wrestling Announcer: "LARIOTO~!"
{Before Kilroy can react, Karnage delivers a stiff, short arm lariot. Kilroy is knocked over out of shot, followed immediately by his sneakers flying up and then out of sight.}
Andrew Karnage: Hm. Now would've been the perfect time to play the clip. Shame.
{Karnage bends down to drag Kilroy away as the shot fades out.}