GUN Show #1 - Jan. 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 13:35:03 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 5 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on Jan 9, 2018 13:35:03 GMT -5
The fans are getting restless. The preshow entertainment has long gone. Frustrated rumblings are soon broken up by the sound of a helicopter. The sound gets closer and closer until it’s deafening and a thud can be heard on the roof. The roof access door opens and a rope ladder drops down and Venom and James Mueller climb down to ringside to a roar from the crowd. They walk over to the announcers table and Venom climbs on top of it with mic in hand.
“Sorry we’re late. I hope you’re ready for the greatest show of all time, the first ever GUN SHOW.”
Venom steps down and puts on his head phones and mic to prepare for the show.
Mueller: Looks like we made it.
Venom: And only a little late. Looks like our first contestants are already in the ring and ready to go.
Tornado Tag Team Match
Team Tron vs Clay Soilders
Shogun and Techno stand in the ring posing as the two small clay soldiers with C1 and C2 on their chests taunt them. The trons nod at each other. The bell rings when suddenly two more jump the trons from behind. These are normal sized clay soldiers C3 and C4. The soldiers beat down the trons in the center of the ring and begin stomping them. The trons sit up and try to fight back but the other two smaller soldiers jump in and begin kicking them. C3 picks up Shogun and whips him off the ropes and headbutts him on the return. C2 and C1 hoist Techno up and run him to the ropes where C4 back body drops him over the ropes and to the floor hard. The ref finally realizes what is going on amidst all this FUTURE stuff and tries to tell off the Soldiers but a voice is heard over the tron. The screen lights up and it’s Evil Borg in his lab … room … with HM Borg doing final adjustments to Mecha Goldbear.
EB: Oh no my good sir. This match is the two trons … versus the clay soldiers. Your “tag team chumps” forgot to clarify the numbers. As such this is a tornado match! You will let this continue and LIKE IT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HM: They’re going higher … on fire!
EB: No … no fire sadly. We should have equipped them with flamethrowers.
Venom: Looks like the evil Borgs have out smarted the Trons.
Mueller: Why did we agree to this?
Venom: Because someone had to open the show.
Mueller: Are you sure it wasn't because you're one of th...
Venom: The nicest guys in the world, yes, that's why.
The screen turns off and the four soldiers all gang up on Shogun. There are eight feet stomping a mudhole in the young tron leader and walking it dry. Shogun is crawling to the ropes slowly. As he gets to the ropes C4 leans forward through the ropes to try and apply a rope assisted submission but out of nowhere a shield crashes into his face. He stumbles back and into the others. Techno leaps to the apron and springboards into the ring with his shield and crashes down on all four soldiers. The two smaller ones explode in a spray of clay dust.
TT: They … really are just clay! They are fragile!
Mueller: They killed Kenny!
Venom: Who?
Mueller: That clay dude, his name was Kenny. He had a family. So much for the Trons being the good guys.
Techno helps Shogun to his feet and then stand back to back. C3 and C4 charge them but the two trons unleash a flurry of kicks. The kicks are fast and furious and both trons leap into an enzuigiri and the two soldiers stumble to the ground. The trons leap up and in unison leap off the ropes. Future Proof from Shogun on C3 and Future Star on C4 from Techno and both explode. The trons start to celebrate when a HUGE (Andre the Giant sized) soldier attacks them from behind. Shogun stumbles to the ropes and the big dude grabs Techno and punches him in the gut with a fist that is actually a large rock. Techno stumbles back in pain and walks right into a huge lariat. The big soldier makes a motion as if he is laughing. Techno falls to the mat. The big soldier climbs the ropes to finish this … to the death!
ST: STOP FOUL BEAST! THIS WILL NOT STAND!
Mueller: What the hell is going on here?
Venom: I wish I knew.
He poses then charges the corner. He plants his hands on the middle ropes and front flips up catching the huge guy’s head in his legs. He sits up on the shoulders of the huge guy and pounds his face with chops and palm strikes before shouting to Techno. Techno stands in time for Shogun to hurricanrana the huge guy right into a sitout powerbomb. CHRONAL DISASTER! One! Two! Three! The big guy crumbles to dust as the final count is counted.
Winners: THE TRONS!
Venom: Good prevails.
Mueller: That was the worst thing I've ever witnessed.
Venom: Didn't you once see Mongo win the XHF Championship?
Mueller: I stand corrected.
They celebrate and pose for the crowd.
The lights to the gym dim down and the audience begins to cheer for the upcoming match-up. MF DOOM's "Deep Fried Frenz" starts bumping the sound system as white and purple spotlights cycle through the gym and the stage. Out steps Marquise Lee from the back, in bright purple wrestling trunk shorts and a smirk on his face. The crowd pops for the giant man, nearly breaking 300 lbs and over 6'6. He takes his time down the ramp towards the ring, moving his body with the beat of the song. He gives a couple fans fives on the way down. Marquise Beef stops in front of the ring, he turns to his left, places his index finger on the left side of his jaw and moves his head to face to his right. He winks to the crowd and then jumps up to the apron of the ring almost effortlessly. He climbs into the ring and struts to the middle. He lowers his head briefly before swinging his arms up and in to flex as he yells "BEEF!" He takes off his shirt, quickly wraps it into a ball and tosses it into the crowd. Beef starts running the ropes, almost physically moving the ring with each bounce off of the ropes.
Mueller: BEEEEEEF!
Venom: Beef!
Mueller: Gotta stretch it out, V! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF
Venom: What kind of name is Beef?
Mueller: ...c'mon man.
The lights dim again as "Bad Mongo" by Turbonegro kicks off. The crowd starts booing and as soon as "Mongo" walks out, in black trunks and a sparkling red cape, and people begin throwing trash at him. "Mongo" tries to fight off the flying debris with his hands as soda cups and hot dogs begin to litter the ground around him. He runs down to the ring as more debris hit him. He slides into the ring and stands right face to face with Marquise Beef. Beef just stares at "Mongo" up until "Mongo" puts his hands up and carefully moves around him. "Mongo" climbs a corner and raises a fist up to the crowd while maintaining his balance with his other hand. A cup hits him right in the face. "Mongo" begins to point and yell at whoever threw that at him. Marquise Beef walks up behind "Mongo" and wraps hyis arms around his waist. He carries "Mongo" off the turnbuckle and puts him on his feet in the ring. "Mongo" puts his hands up as Beef lets go of him, and quickly scurries to the ropes, wrapping his arms around them. He turns to Beef and tries to calm himself as the referee holds Beef back from potentially following him.
Venom: Mongo's looking tiny these days.
Mueller: Better than his normal fat self.
Venom: This is true. You think he has a shot?
Mueller: Oh hell no. You know we bought a casket?
NO-DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
"XHF OWNER AND ASSHOLE MONGO THE DESTROY" INTERN GUY IN MASK VS. "EX-CONVICT BUT ACTUALLY HE'S A NICE GUY" MARQUISE BEEF
The bell rings. "Mongo" stays wrapping himself up in the ropes and eyes Beef. Marquise Beef stands in the middle of the ring looking content, and he then extends his right hand out for a handshake. "Mongo" shakes his head. A muffled 'HELL NO' comes from "Mongo" as he refuses to let go of the rope. Crowd begins to boo and Beef puts his hands on his hips. Beef then puts an index finger up for one second, he extends his right hand again for a handshake, turns his head as left as he can to look away, and even covers his eyes with his left hand. "Mongo" looks around at the reaction before finally letting go of the ropes. He slowly steps towards the middle of the ring and Marquise Beef. "Mongo" raises his right hand and slowly slides it into Beef's right hand, both grasp, and give each other a shake. "Mongo" quickly pulls his hand away as the crowd applauses for the showing of sportsmanship. "Mongo" suddenly extends his right hand and thwacks Beef across the face with an open hand smack. Beef barely moves and then stares a hole through "Mongo."
Venom: Oh fuck.
Mueller: That intern has some... uh.. cajones.
Beef raises a hand to "Mongo" and starts yelling at him. He suddenly charges at him but "Mongo" quickly cowards back into the ropes. The referee gets between them and tries to pry Marquise Beef off of him. Beef starts yelling at the referee as he backs away. "Mongo" suddenly comes off the ropes, leaps past the referee and starts throwing forearms into the head of Marquise Beef. Beef stumbles back and is surprised by "Mongo"'s jump start to the match. "Mongo" backs Beef into the ropes, pushes him against them, and then whips him across the ring. Beef hits the ropes, comes back and then shoulder tackles "Mongo" hard, sending "Mongo" to the mat. "Mongo" lets out a yell in pain and rolls out of the ring. He reaches for his back as he stands at ringside, before Marquise Beef reaches over the ropes and grabs him by the head. He drags him up to the apron, grabs "Mongo" by the arm and waist, and hip tosses "Mongo" back into the ring. Crowd eats it up as Beef starts to walk after "Mongo" scuttling on his butt into the corner. Again, the referee backs Beef up as "Mongo" uses the corner for safety despite this being a no-DQ match.
Mueller: Well, he fights like Mongo.
Venom: Yeah, like a coward.
Marquise Beef just pushes the referee aside before grabbing "Mongo" by the foot. Beef drags him into the center of the ring, stands him up upside down to his head and hands, and quickly wraps his arms around "Mongo's" waist with his back to him. He easily pulls "Mongo" up into a powerbomb position from here with his legs on his shoulders. Before he can slam him though, "Mongo" grabs Beef by the face with his hands and starts trying to pull and push anything he can to disrupt the powerbomb. He eventually finds something he shouldn't have, almost gouging Beef's eye out. Beef drops him to the map on his feet as he reaches for his eyes in pain. "Mongo" quickly scurries to the ropes, bounces himself off and dropkicks Beef in the left leg. Beef's leg comes out from under him, dropping him to one knee. "Mongo" then wraps his left arm around Marquise Beef's head and goes for a DDT, but Beef resists the pull and causes "Mongo" to land flat on his back without him. Beef grabs "Mongo's" leg with one hand and then brings down his other hand for an open palm strike to the chest of "Mongo," sending a loud SMACK echoing through the gymnasium. "Mongo" holds his chest in pain before starting to flop like a fish and rolling to his side. Beef goes for an early pinfall, 1......2.....kickout!
Venom: Wow, you could hear that smack from the parking lot!
Mueller: I'm still shocked he kicked out, and look at the hand print on his chest!
Venom: Oh god.
Marquise Beef gets to both feet again, still trying to regain full eyesight by rubbing his eyes and shaking his head a couple times. "Mongo" gets himself up to his feet, still rubbing his chest and see's Beef is still not ring-aware yet. "Mongo" stretches in pain before getting behind Beef. He wraps his arms around Beef as much as he can and pulls for a German Suplex. Beef barely gets off the heels of his feet as "Mongo" can't lift him. Beef grabs "Mongo's" arm and pulls him around, wraps his arms around "Mongo" facing him, and then throws him over his head for a standing belly-to-belly suplex! Beef never left his feet as "Mongo" comes crashing to the mat. His body bends as he writhers in pain. Beef shakes his head a couple times, still recovering from the eye gouge. Beef turns and grabs "Mongo," pulling him up his feet. He puts his arm over his head and lifts "Mongo" up for a suplex. Beef begins to stall with "Mongo" in the air. He holds "Mongo" for a few seconds, pretends to check his watch, and even starts doing squats in the ring. He moves around the ring a bit before finally throwing "Mongo" forward so he lands right on his chest! "Mongo" pops up to his knees, holding his chest in pain, as Beef begins to flex to the crowd.
Mueller: I think Beef might physically force Mongo into cardiac arrest.
Beef has his back to "Mongo" as he starts to eat up the attention. "Mongo" sees a window of opportunity and takes it, using his arm he hits Marquise Beef with a low blow! Beef bends over in pain, and falls forward into the ropes, and actually rolling through them to the outside to his feet. Beef bends over at the bottom of the ramp, holding his groin in pain as the crowd boos. "Mongo" gets up to his feet, he runs away from Beef, bounces off the ropes and returns, and then jumps over the ropes with a tope suicida! He sends Beef to the ground for the first time all night! "Mongo" ends up on one knee before he pushes himself up and puts his arms up as if he just won. He gets pelted with a full beer. "Mongo" gets upset and flips off the general direction of where the beer came from. "Mongo" starts arguing with a fan at ringside before he takes the chair away from the fan! "Mongo" tosses the chair into the ring and gives the fan another bird for good measure. He turns his attention back to a slowly recovering Beef. He grabs Beef by the head and arm, glances at the ring steps and tries to whip him into the steps. Beef halts that, however, and uses his power to pull "Mongo" back into him. He gets "Mongo" into a waist lock and then rams him into the ring post on the outside. He doesn't let go as "Mongo" yells out in pain, but instead puts "Mongo" onto his shoulders before overhead pressing him above him. Beef then tosses "Mongo" back over the top rope and into the ring!
Venom: Mongo trying to put up a fight.
Mueller: And a fan just won free tickets to the next GUN Show, that's a hell of a throw!
Beef adjusts his groin a bit, still hurt from the low blow, before sliding back into the ring. "Mongo" slowly grabs the chair from earlier but Marquise Beef steps on it, hurting "Mongo's" hands in the process. Beef grabs "Mongo" by the back of the head and starts clubbing him in the back. He then lifts him above his head again in an overhead press. Beef yells out "BEEEEEF!", runs to the ropes, and then launches "Mongo" into the second row! The crowd kind of scatters, those who didn't were hit with this scrappy kid pretending to be the XHF Owner, but most around just start trying to help get him back to ringside. Part of the audience actually begins to pick "Mongo" up and get him over the barricade and back into ringside.
Venom: Oh my god! Fans getting more that's what they paid for.
Mueller: You're right! We should've charged more.
"Mongo" begins to crawl to the apron as Marquise Beef showboats in the ring to the cheering crowd. Beef turns his attention back to "Mongo" and goes to the ropes near him. He reaches out for "Mongo" but "Mongo" surprises him by spraying Beef with a fire extinguisher! Beef stumbles back, blinded again, and he falls to his butt as he desperately tries to clean out his eyes. "Mongo" tosses the extinguisher away, resting his head on the apron watching Beef, before reaching back under the ring for something else. "Mongo" pulls out a table! He slides said table into the ring and slides in after it. Beef has blindly made it into a corner, still trying to clean his eyes out. "Mongo" unfolds a leg and props the table into the opposite corner from Beef. He pats it a couple times before turning around and charging at Beef. "Mongo" punches Beef a couple times and then backs off, as then Beef begins the blindly swing punches but whiffs consistently. "Mongo" begins to taunt him and starts laughing, up until Beef grabs him by the neck. "Mongo" kicks Beef in the stomach once, twice, three times before Beef lets go of him. "Mongo" stumbles to his knee, grabs the chair from earlier, and smacks it into Beef's face!
Mueller: Ugh! Dirty tactics by the Owner of the XHF Network!
Venom: Yeah! We would never do such things...
The chairshot doesn't knock Beef back, however, but it does stun him to one knee. "Mongo" spits on the chair and then hits Beef again right on forehead! Beef falls to his back, seemingly out! "Mongo" tosses the chair and goes for the first pinfall of the night! 1.....2....KICKOUT!
Venom: TWO!
Mueller: Oh thank god.
"Mongo" goes for another pin, 1......2....KICKOUT again but this time Beef launches him off of the mat. "Mongo" lands on his chest again and Beef slowly gets to his feet. He motions for the end, and grabs "Mongo" by the back of the head off of the mat and sets up for a powerbomb. Beef lifts "Mongo" up but "Mongo" rolls over Beef's head and goes for a roll up pin. Beef won't get off his feet though as "Mongo" tries to roll him up, and Beef instead grabs "Mongo" by the neck with both hands. He tosses him up to his shoulders and powerbombs him in one motion! With a sitout, he pins "Mongo," 1......2.....KICKOUT! Beef looks at the referee in shock, "WHAT?!"
Venom: WHAT?
Mueller: WHAT?
Beef winces in pain from the multiple cheap shots by "Mongo," before finally making it up to his feet. He notices and then points out the table, to the delight of the audience. He grabs "Mongo" by the head and gets him up to his feet. He goes for a simple hip toss into the table, but "Mongo" lands on his feet at the table instead. He balances himself from falling into it and turns to Beef charging at him. He dodges quickly and Beef slams himself through the table! He goes limp in the debris as "Mongo" falls back to his ass, narrowly avoiding disaster. Crowd begins to boo as "Mongo" slowly drags Beef away from the ropes and slowly rolls him to his back. He goes for the pin, 1.....2....KICKOUT! "Mongo" grabs the hair of his mask in shock. He almost begins to sob as he falls over to his side.
Mueller: COME ON, BEEF!
Venom: Oh my God...
Beef stirs and rolls back to his stomach, before slowly trying to push himself up. "Mongo" looks around, he grabs the chair he used earlier, and he turns to swing it at Beef but Beef punches it right out of the air! Beef then delivers a stiff kick into "Mongo's" stomach, pulls him in for a powerbomb again. "Mongo" drops himself to his knees and then low blows Beef again! He scatters around, grabs the chair off the mat, and smashes it into Beef's face for a third time. Beef gets rocked but only drops to one knee. "Mongo" winds up again but it's caught by Beef this time. Beef rips it out of "Mongo's" hands, and then delivers a thunderous chair shot to the head of "Mongo"! "Mongo" goes flying back off his feet and Beef bat-flips the chair away as if he's Jose Bautista. He turns back to "Mongo" but "Mongo" was hit so hard he rolled out of the ring.
Mueller: Oh shit, I think he killed him.
Venom: I mean... That's... that's what you promised though, right?
Mueller: Yeah but for the real owner, not... Oh shit.
"Mongo" begins to bleed under the mask, blood visibly coming out of the neck and eye holes of the mask. He lays nearly unconcious at ring side as Beef Marquise begins to smack his hands together as if to clean them. He gets out of the ring, picks up and rolls "Mongo" back into the ring. "Mongo" stumbles to his feet, back to one knee, back to his feet before resting against the ropes. Beef follows him back into the ring as well. Beef motions for the end and grabs "Mongo," whips him into the opposite ropes, but "Mongo" holds onto the ropes instead of running back. Beef charges after "Mongo," "Mongo" ducks under and rolls underneath Beef to get behind him. Beef turns and goes for a clothesline but "Mongo" ducks that as well. "Mongo" taunts Beef, Beef looks frustrated for a second, takes a step back, and then kicks "Mongo" in the groin as retaliation for earlier!
Mueller: Well. Karma.
"Mongo" drops to both knees and then Beef delivers a stiff kick to the chest of "Mongo" to end him to his back. "Mongo" lays on his back and Marquise Beef stops in his tracks, over-dramatically looks at the nearest turnbuckle, and then back at "Mongo." He starts slapping his chest ala Eddie Guerrero, and begins to climb the turnbuckle. With his back to "Mongo," be looks back for a second, gets to the top rope, and with perfect form looks to execute a 300 lb moonsault! "Mongo" however rolls away just in the knick of time and Beef crashes into the mat hard onto his stomach and chest! He yells in pain and manages to pushes himself up to his feet using the momentum from the moonsault. "Mongo" gets to his feet, and with the opportunity he runs at Beef to hit him with a slingblade. HOWEVER, Beef catches him mid-wrap-around, he pulls him up into a powerbomb and drills him into the mat! Beef crumples on top of "Mongo" for the pinfall, 1.......2........3!
WINNER: YA BOI, MARQUISE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF
Mueller: What a massive powerbomb to win it!
Venom: By the skin of his teeth though.
Mueller: He had it in the bag a long time ago.
Venom: I don't... I don't think we were watching the same match.
The crowd erupts for Marquise Beef. Beef slowly rolls off of "Mongo" and raises his right fist in victory. Marquise Beef puts his hand on "Mongo's" chest and pushes himself off and onto his knees, sitting on his heels. He stalls as he works to catch his breath while "Mongo" lays there with the only movement coming from his lungs expanding and compressing. "Exit Music (For a Film)" by Radiohead picks up on the speakers about halfway through. Marquise Beef raises an eyebrow as he catches the music and starts nodding his head. He understands.
Venom: What is going on here?
Marquise Beef reaches back down to "Mongo" and begins to cradle him in his arms. He picks "Mongo" up off the ground and carries him to the apron where he carefully lays him back down. Beef then rolls through the ropes to ringside, cradles "Mongo" again, and carries him around the ring towards the opposite side from the ramp. He raises "Mongo" above his head, holding him by his back and legs. As the song begins to pick up, Beef hands "Mongo" off to the crowd that has their hands extended out towards him. "Mongo" begins to crowdsurf, unconciously, on his back over the audience. The lights dim back down in the arena and a spotlight shines over "Mongo" being lifted above the crowd, moving higher and higher up the seating chart. His arms extend out into a crucifixtion pose at the height of the song as the audience begins to sing with the song, "WE ALL... HOPE MONGO CHOKES! HOPE MONGO CHOOOOOKES!" followed by cheers for our favorite intern. Marquise Beef watches in amazement as he backs up the ramp towards the exit.
Mueller: What a sight, what a send off for our intern! He stood tall, he stood strong, but most importantly, he did what Mongo was too chickenshit to do. And now! Now he's being honored!
Venom: This kid is going home with more respect than Mongo has earned in his entire career!
Mueller: Oh! By the way, uh, intern. You're fired.
The song dies down and the spotlight comes off "Mongo" crowdsurfing as he reaches the back of the audience. As soon as the attention is off of him, the crowd dumps him on his head behind the last row of seats. He lays there, unattended, and not moving.
Mueller: It’s too bad that wasn’t the real Mongo.
Venom: I know, and too bad that kid has to find a new job.
Mueller: Whoa, Goldbear II and Mecha-Goldbear are already in the ring. How come they didn’t get entrances?
Venom: We spent all our money on our entrance, we couldn’t afford for them to have one too.
Grudge Match
Mecha-Goldbear vs Goldbear II
Goldbear II stands in the ring across from his arch nemesis the mechanical monster Mecha-Goldbear. Mecha-Goldbear looks cute in his bear onsie just standing there waiting as the bell rings. Goldbear II approaches his foe and swipes at his opponent, but Mecha-Goldbear counters with a right hand to the side of Goldbear II’s head. Goldbear II stumbles backwards and lets out a rawr.
Venom: Oh no.
Mueller: That robot has reflexes like cat.
Venom: Goldy needs to step his game up.
Goldbear II shakes it off and begins his approach again. Mecha-Goldbear doesn’t move holding his ground. Goldbear II doesn’t immediately attack this time instead walking slowly around his opponent. Mecha-Goldbear’s head follows his challenger even as Goldbear II moves behind him. This frieghtens Goldbear II and he again swipes at his foe, but again Mecha-Goldbear is too fast and his arm rotates in a circle and bops Goldbear II on top of the head dropping the massive bear down to one knee. Mecha-Goldbear turns the rest of his body around so he is facing Goldbear II.
Mueller: This robot is full of tricks.
Venom: Goldy is feeling him out, and it’s not working so far.
Goldbear II still on one knee shakes his head trying to get the cobwebs out when the eyes of Mecha-Goldbear turn red and “Finish him” can be heard from the crowd. Mecha-Goldbear begins pummeling Goldbear II with lefts and rights. Goldbear II puts his paws up to block as he stands, but he’s rocked backwards and falls back onto the ropes. Mecha-Goldbear moves in continually pummeling Goldbear II with lefts and rights. Goldbear II is taking the bulk of the punishment on his arms and they are becoming weak. He can no longer hold them up to block and they fall to his side. Mecha-Goldbear continues to move in swinging ferociously and Goldbear II’s only course of defense is to grab the top rope and drops. Mecha-Goldbear cannot stop and walks right over the top rope and tumbles to the outside.
Venom: It is not looking good for Goldy so far.
Mueller: He better use this time to recoup.
Goldbear II stumbles back to his feet and stands in the center of the ring. He shakes his head as Mecha-Goldbear tries to get back to his feet on the outside. The mechanical bear has trouble getting up as his limbs don’t bend, but gets back to his feet by punching the ground and launching himself up to his feet. Goldbear II in the ring has regained his composure and he runs and launches himself through the ring ropes claws first and impales Mecha-Goldbear in the chest with them. Mecha-Goldbear sparks from his chest and stumbles back into the ring barrier pushing it back into the fans in the front row. Goldbear II pulls his claws out of the chest of his foe and stands letting out a mighty roar.
Mueller: The tides have turned for Goldy.
Venom: Get him Goldy!
Goldbear II reaches down with his paws and pulls his mechanical foe to his feet and whips him towards the ring. Mecha-Goldbear hits the ring apron and rolls in and is laying on his back in the center of the ring. Goldbear II begins to walk towards the ring when the voice from the crowd that screamed attack screams “No” and Evil Borg appears from the crowd.
EB: This cannot happen. You cannot topple our creation.
Evil Borg walks towards Goldbear II on the outside to stop him from defeating his machine, but Goldbear II swipes and knocks Evil Borg off of his feet. Evil Borg retreats back to the crowd and Goldbear II returns his attention to the ring where the distraction has given Mecha-Goldbear time to recover and he has gotten back to his feet. Goldbear II quickly rolls into the ring, but Mech-Goldbear is right on top of him swinging wildly clobbering Goldbear II before he can get all the way to his feet. Goldbear II is rocked again. He stumbles backwards and hits the ropes. Blood begins to clot up in his fur on his face. He wipes the blood with his paw and is enraged by the site of his own blood and takes two steps forwards and dive into Mecha-Goldbear taking him down with a spear.
Mueller & Venom: BANG!
Goldbear II stays on top of Mecha-Goldbear and swipes at him with his claws ripping away at the robot ripping open the chest plate of his foe. Metal and gears begin top spring out of the robot and oil begins to spill onto the ring mat. The ref moves in and watches and as the lights go out on Mecha-Goldbear’s eyes the ref calls for the bell.
Venom: He did it. He got his revenge.
Mueller: One down, one to go. We’re up next.
Venom: We’ll be back after this word from Charlie Velez
Brother-in-law of Venom, best friend of James Mueller and co-founder of the Young Guns Charlie Velez joins us LIVE via satellite (pre-recorded) from his corporate offices in Chicago, Illinois to wrestle with his own thoughts.
Charlie Velez sits behind a large oak desk. In front of him lays papers of great importance that he’s ignoring as he looks off into space. He’s dressed to the nines like you’d expect from the CEO of a large business. Blue ties, white collared shirt under a suit coat that screams I cost a lot of fucking money. We zoom in on the face of the man who was in the original XHF from start to finish and we hear him talk, but his lips aren’t moving. His face remains still and stoic as we hear his thoughts.
“What should I have for lunch today.”
We hear him think as he begins to tap his fingers on his desk.
“Nothing beats Chicago deep dish, but if I order my usual from down stairs I’m gonna end up so full I won’t want to do anything after lunch.”
He reaches up and rubs his chin.
“There’s a new sushi place that opened on the corner, I could go for some good Sushi right now. I’ve stayed away from it since I heard the story about Jeremy Pivin getting mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi.”
He stops rubbing his chin and his brow wrinkles.
“Man, it’s crazy that Pivin got caught up in a harassment scandal. I kinda liked him. Too bad he’s a total douche. I wonder if maybe the mercury poisoning might’ve been one of those women getting back at him. Nah.”
He shakes his head back and forth briefly.
“He was great in Entourage. I binged a bunch of episodes over the summer. It reminds me of my time with the Young Guns. We did a lot of stuff they did but none of us were riding each other’s coat tails, we all had our own successes. It’s with them I first really got into Sushi, but we also always got pizza every time we were in Chicago. OH!”
He looks surprised momentarily as he just remembered something important.
“I can’t forget to record James and V’s new show. They want me to be on it, but I’m just not sure. They said I could just do something funny to tease people, but I’m not that funny. Well, my kids think I’m funny, sometimes.”
He taps his fingers again staring silently for a moment, nothing but the sound of his tapping fingers fills the air.
“Screw mercury, I’ll get the sushi.”
He reaches and taps a button to his right.
“Mary, can you order sushi from the new place on the corner for lunch please?”
Mary’s voice rings through the speaker.
“Are you sure sir? Val in marketing got food poisoning from there. We’re not exactly near an ocean for them to get all the ingredients are we?”
“You’re right. Thank you for looking out for me. Order my usual.”
“Deep dish it is sir.”
He taps the button again to turn off the speaker and stares off again.
“I’m not getting anything done after lunch.”
The feed cuts and we cut back to the gym where Wombat stands in the ring shivering in fear as Ken in the Box stands on the ring apron with the tag rope in his hand.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump as they begin to take off their jackets and any accessories before the match starts.
XHF Tag Team Championship Match
Wombat and Ken in the Box vs The Guns
Venom starts in the ring with Wombat as Mueller moves to the ring apron and Goldbear II stands on the outside, bandage on his face where he was cut open by Mecha-Goldbear. The bell rings and Venom lunges at Wombat and Wombat retreats and slides out of the ring. Venom throws his arms out with a cocky smile on his face and shakes his head. Ken in the Box yells at his partner to get back in the ring.
Venom: Wombat wants no part of Venom early on here.
Muller: What a bitch.
Wombat rolls back in and as soon as he gets to his feet Venom grabs him and whips him into the corner. Venom follows in with a splash and stands back as Wombat stumbles out before pushing him in the back causing Wombat to fall flat on his face. Wombat rolls over onto his back and lays there as Venom moves through the ropes and then spring boards off with a 450 splash onto Wombat. Venom makes the cover, but he pulls Wombat’s head up after 2.
Mueller: Almost had him there.
Venom: I cannot believe Wombat kicked out there.
Venom stands up laughing as Wombat stays on the ground screaming “Just pin me and end it now.” Venom doesn’t go for another pin, though. Instead he reaches down and picks up Wombat by his ears and knees him in the stomach doubling him over. Venom then lifts Wombat up in a stalling suplex position and he walks towards his corner with Wombat still high in the air and reaches back and tags in Mueller who climbs up top and dives off and drives Wombat to the mat with a diving cross body. Mueller stays on top of Wombat for the pin, but he too picks Wombat up before the count of three smiling from ear-to-ear.
Mueller: He kicked out again!
Venom: Wombat sure has heart.
Wombat kicks his feet and trashes his arms like a four-year-old in a grocery store told he couldn’t get a candy bar. Mueller laughs as he reached down to grab the fit-throwing Wombat and Wombat grabs him by the head and rolls him up for a pin attempt, but Mueller immediately kicks out.
Mueller: Out of nowhere!
Venom: Wombat trying to show this will not be a one sided affair.
Muller hops to his feet and begins stomping away at Wombat enraged by the sudden pin attempt. Wombat lays motionless on the mat from the stomps of Mueller and Mueller picks him up and lifts him in the air and drops him across his knee with a back breaker. Wombat crumbles to the mat as Mueller throws his arms out taunting to the crowd receiving cheers from the pro-Guns crowd. Wombat rolls over onto his stomach and begins to crawl towards his corner. Muller stands and watches letting Wombat go. Wombat then dives out like his trying to make the hot tag, but falls short of the outstretched hand of Ken in the Box.
Venom: So close to his tag partner there.
Mueller: Yet so far away.
Wombat rolls over on his back, he was actually nowhere even close to his partner’s hand, still lying about four feet away from his corner. Mueller moves in and lifts Wombat up and holds his hand out in the direction of Ken in the Box taunting Ken before whipping Wombat across the ring into the Guns corner. Venom grabs Wombat, more to hold him upright than to keep him there, as Mueller turns and charges spearing Wombat in the corner. Wombat crumbles to the ground as Mueller moves outside the ring onto the apron and springs over with a senton on the prone Wombat. Mueller then gets up and makes a tag to his partner Venom who springs over the ropes himself with a leg drop on Wombat. Venom holds the leg drop on Wombat but he rolls back off before the count of three.
Mueller: He kicks out again.
Venom: I like this Wombat. Heart of a champion.
Mueller: To bad he’s built like a chess club champion.
Wombat rolls over and gets onto his hands and knees and begins physically crying as Venom stands over him. Venom looks confused and yells out, “Come on man, grow up.” Venom kicks at his head softly and Wombat reaches back and swipes at the foot of Venom. Venom laughs as Wombat continues to crawl away. Venom reaches with his boot to kick at Wombat again, but this time Wombat grabs him by the leg and pulls him down face first into the bottom turn buckle of the neutral corner. Venom hits hard and rolls out of the ring. Wombat begins to crawl towards his corner, but Venom slides back in the ring to stop him dropping a knee onto his back. Venom is enraged and begins stomping away at the back of Wombat until he goes limp.
Venom: I don’t think Venom was ready for Wombat to actually fight back.
Mueller: I don’t think Wombat was ready for Wombat to actually fight back.
Wombat lays on the mat motionless, again just feet from his corner. Venom lifts him up and slaps him in the face. Wombat crumbles to the mat again. Venom shakes his head and lifts Wombat up onto his shoulder and walks towards his corner and slams him down with a power slam.
Venom: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Venom use such a power move.
Mueller: Everyone is a power wrestler against someone who weighs 98 pounds.
Venom reaches up and tags Mueller again. Muller goes up to the top rope and taunts the crowd before flying off with a splash onto Wombat, but NO, Wombat gets his knees up. Venom looks on in awe from the outside as Mueller rolls around on the mat holding his midsection and Wombat begins to crawl towards his corner. Mueller gets to his knees and tags in Venom who hops over the ropes to chase Wombat. Wombat lunges towards his corner with an outstretched arm and he… MAKES THE TAG. Ken in the Box comes in hot and runs in and knocks down Venom with a shoulder block. He stomps away at Venom, but not for long as Muller comes off the top rope and knocks Ken down with a drop kick. Ken hits his back and… he can’t move because he’s a box. Venom dives on top of Ken and the ref counts to three.
Venom: They did it.
Mueller: Against all odds the Guns defended their titles successfully.
Wombat lays on the outside of the ring as the ref helps Ken get off of his back and out of the ring. Venom and Mueller stand in the center of the ring with their titles held high. Venom and Mueller are tossed mics and he hushes the crowd.
“Thank you. Thank you all for tuning into the Gun Show. This is the first place you were able to see the Guns in action, but it will not be the only place.”
“The rumors, the ones we spread, are true. The XHF Tag Team Championships are now indeed active.”
“And at Supremecy we will defend them.”
“It won’t be against Wombat and Ken in the Box, though.”
“No, the Network doesn’t have anyone that good for us to face.”
“It will be against four teams of the XHF Network.”
“In a special match of our choosing.”
“We thought long and hard, and we came up with match worthy of the Guns.”
“The king of winter match.”
“For more details on this match and who will be involved tune in to the XHF Network.”
Venom and Mueller drop their mics as we fade out.
“Sorry we’re late. I hope you’re ready for the greatest show of all time, the first ever GUN SHOW.”
Venom steps down and puts on his head phones and mic to prepare for the show.
Mueller: Looks like we made it.
Venom: And only a little late. Looks like our first contestants are already in the ring and ready to go.
Tornado Tag Team Match
Team Tron vs Clay Soilders
Shogun and Techno stand in the ring posing as the two small clay soldiers with C1 and C2 on their chests taunt them. The trons nod at each other. The bell rings when suddenly two more jump the trons from behind. These are normal sized clay soldiers C3 and C4. The soldiers beat down the trons in the center of the ring and begin stomping them. The trons sit up and try to fight back but the other two smaller soldiers jump in and begin kicking them. C3 picks up Shogun and whips him off the ropes and headbutts him on the return. C2 and C1 hoist Techno up and run him to the ropes where C4 back body drops him over the ropes and to the floor hard. The ref finally realizes what is going on amidst all this FUTURE stuff and tries to tell off the Soldiers but a voice is heard over the tron. The screen lights up and it’s Evil Borg in his lab … room … with HM Borg doing final adjustments to Mecha Goldbear.
EB: Oh no my good sir. This match is the two trons … versus the clay soldiers. Your “tag team chumps” forgot to clarify the numbers. As such this is a tornado match! You will let this continue and LIKE IT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HM: They’re going higher … on fire!
EB: No … no fire sadly. We should have equipped them with flamethrowers.
Venom: Looks like the evil Borgs have out smarted the Trons.
Mueller: Why did we agree to this?
Venom: Because someone had to open the show.
Mueller: Are you sure it wasn't because you're one of th...
Venom: The nicest guys in the world, yes, that's why.
The screen turns off and the four soldiers all gang up on Shogun. There are eight feet stomping a mudhole in the young tron leader and walking it dry. Shogun is crawling to the ropes slowly. As he gets to the ropes C4 leans forward through the ropes to try and apply a rope assisted submission but out of nowhere a shield crashes into his face. He stumbles back and into the others. Techno leaps to the apron and springboards into the ring with his shield and crashes down on all four soldiers. The two smaller ones explode in a spray of clay dust.
TT: They … really are just clay! They are fragile!
Mueller: They killed Kenny!
Venom: Who?
Mueller: That clay dude, his name was Kenny. He had a family. So much for the Trons being the good guys.
Techno helps Shogun to his feet and then stand back to back. C3 and C4 charge them but the two trons unleash a flurry of kicks. The kicks are fast and furious and both trons leap into an enzuigiri and the two soldiers stumble to the ground. The trons leap up and in unison leap off the ropes. Future Proof from Shogun on C3 and Future Star on C4 from Techno and both explode. The trons start to celebrate when a HUGE (Andre the Giant sized) soldier attacks them from behind. Shogun stumbles to the ropes and the big dude grabs Techno and punches him in the gut with a fist that is actually a large rock. Techno stumbles back in pain and walks right into a huge lariat. The big soldier makes a motion as if he is laughing. Techno falls to the mat. The big soldier climbs the ropes to finish this … to the death!
ST: STOP FOUL BEAST! THIS WILL NOT STAND!
Mueller: What the hell is going on here?
Venom: I wish I knew.
He poses then charges the corner. He plants his hands on the middle ropes and front flips up catching the huge guy’s head in his legs. He sits up on the shoulders of the huge guy and pounds his face with chops and palm strikes before shouting to Techno. Techno stands in time for Shogun to hurricanrana the huge guy right into a sitout powerbomb. CHRONAL DISASTER! One! Two! Three! The big guy crumbles to dust as the final count is counted.
Winners: THE TRONS!
Venom: Good prevails.
Mueller: That was the worst thing I've ever witnessed.
Venom: Didn't you once see Mongo win the XHF Championship?
Mueller: I stand corrected.
They celebrate and pose for the crowd.
The lights to the gym dim down and the audience begins to cheer for the upcoming match-up. MF DOOM's "Deep Fried Frenz" starts bumping the sound system as white and purple spotlights cycle through the gym and the stage. Out steps Marquise Lee from the back, in bright purple wrestling trunk shorts and a smirk on his face. The crowd pops for the giant man, nearly breaking 300 lbs and over 6'6. He takes his time down the ramp towards the ring, moving his body with the beat of the song. He gives a couple fans fives on the way down. Marquise Beef stops in front of the ring, he turns to his left, places his index finger on the left side of his jaw and moves his head to face to his right. He winks to the crowd and then jumps up to the apron of the ring almost effortlessly. He climbs into the ring and struts to the middle. He lowers his head briefly before swinging his arms up and in to flex as he yells "BEEF!" He takes off his shirt, quickly wraps it into a ball and tosses it into the crowd. Beef starts running the ropes, almost physically moving the ring with each bounce off of the ropes.
Mueller: BEEEEEEF!
Venom: Beef!
Mueller: Gotta stretch it out, V! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF
Venom: What kind of name is Beef?
Mueller: ...c'mon man.
The lights dim again as "Bad Mongo" by Turbonegro kicks off. The crowd starts booing and as soon as "Mongo" walks out, in black trunks and a sparkling red cape, and people begin throwing trash at him. "Mongo" tries to fight off the flying debris with his hands as soda cups and hot dogs begin to litter the ground around him. He runs down to the ring as more debris hit him. He slides into the ring and stands right face to face with Marquise Beef. Beef just stares at "Mongo" up until "Mongo" puts his hands up and carefully moves around him. "Mongo" climbs a corner and raises a fist up to the crowd while maintaining his balance with his other hand. A cup hits him right in the face. "Mongo" begins to point and yell at whoever threw that at him. Marquise Beef walks up behind "Mongo" and wraps hyis arms around his waist. He carries "Mongo" off the turnbuckle and puts him on his feet in the ring. "Mongo" puts his hands up as Beef lets go of him, and quickly scurries to the ropes, wrapping his arms around them. He turns to Beef and tries to calm himself as the referee holds Beef back from potentially following him.
Venom: Mongo's looking tiny these days.
Mueller: Better than his normal fat self.
Venom: This is true. You think he has a shot?
Mueller: Oh hell no. You know we bought a casket?
NO-DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
"XHF OWNER AND ASSHOLE MONGO THE DESTROY" INTERN GUY IN MASK VS. "EX-CONVICT BUT ACTUALLY HE'S A NICE GUY" MARQUISE BEEF
The bell rings. "Mongo" stays wrapping himself up in the ropes and eyes Beef. Marquise Beef stands in the middle of the ring looking content, and he then extends his right hand out for a handshake. "Mongo" shakes his head. A muffled 'HELL NO' comes from "Mongo" as he refuses to let go of the rope. Crowd begins to boo and Beef puts his hands on his hips. Beef then puts an index finger up for one second, he extends his right hand again for a handshake, turns his head as left as he can to look away, and even covers his eyes with his left hand. "Mongo" looks around at the reaction before finally letting go of the ropes. He slowly steps towards the middle of the ring and Marquise Beef. "Mongo" raises his right hand and slowly slides it into Beef's right hand, both grasp, and give each other a shake. "Mongo" quickly pulls his hand away as the crowd applauses for the showing of sportsmanship. "Mongo" suddenly extends his right hand and thwacks Beef across the face with an open hand smack. Beef barely moves and then stares a hole through "Mongo."
Venom: Oh fuck.
Mueller: That intern has some... uh.. cajones.
Beef raises a hand to "Mongo" and starts yelling at him. He suddenly charges at him but "Mongo" quickly cowards back into the ropes. The referee gets between them and tries to pry Marquise Beef off of him. Beef starts yelling at the referee as he backs away. "Mongo" suddenly comes off the ropes, leaps past the referee and starts throwing forearms into the head of Marquise Beef. Beef stumbles back and is surprised by "Mongo"'s jump start to the match. "Mongo" backs Beef into the ropes, pushes him against them, and then whips him across the ring. Beef hits the ropes, comes back and then shoulder tackles "Mongo" hard, sending "Mongo" to the mat. "Mongo" lets out a yell in pain and rolls out of the ring. He reaches for his back as he stands at ringside, before Marquise Beef reaches over the ropes and grabs him by the head. He drags him up to the apron, grabs "Mongo" by the arm and waist, and hip tosses "Mongo" back into the ring. Crowd eats it up as Beef starts to walk after "Mongo" scuttling on his butt into the corner. Again, the referee backs Beef up as "Mongo" uses the corner for safety despite this being a no-DQ match.
Mueller: Well, he fights like Mongo.
Venom: Yeah, like a coward.
Marquise Beef just pushes the referee aside before grabbing "Mongo" by the foot. Beef drags him into the center of the ring, stands him up upside down to his head and hands, and quickly wraps his arms around "Mongo's" waist with his back to him. He easily pulls "Mongo" up into a powerbomb position from here with his legs on his shoulders. Before he can slam him though, "Mongo" grabs Beef by the face with his hands and starts trying to pull and push anything he can to disrupt the powerbomb. He eventually finds something he shouldn't have, almost gouging Beef's eye out. Beef drops him to the map on his feet as he reaches for his eyes in pain. "Mongo" quickly scurries to the ropes, bounces himself off and dropkicks Beef in the left leg. Beef's leg comes out from under him, dropping him to one knee. "Mongo" then wraps his left arm around Marquise Beef's head and goes for a DDT, but Beef resists the pull and causes "Mongo" to land flat on his back without him. Beef grabs "Mongo's" leg with one hand and then brings down his other hand for an open palm strike to the chest of "Mongo," sending a loud SMACK echoing through the gymnasium. "Mongo" holds his chest in pain before starting to flop like a fish and rolling to his side. Beef goes for an early pinfall, 1......2.....kickout!
Venom: Wow, you could hear that smack from the parking lot!
Mueller: I'm still shocked he kicked out, and look at the hand print on his chest!
Venom: Oh god.
Marquise Beef gets to both feet again, still trying to regain full eyesight by rubbing his eyes and shaking his head a couple times. "Mongo" gets himself up to his feet, still rubbing his chest and see's Beef is still not ring-aware yet. "Mongo" stretches in pain before getting behind Beef. He wraps his arms around Beef as much as he can and pulls for a German Suplex. Beef barely gets off the heels of his feet as "Mongo" can't lift him. Beef grabs "Mongo's" arm and pulls him around, wraps his arms around "Mongo" facing him, and then throws him over his head for a standing belly-to-belly suplex! Beef never left his feet as "Mongo" comes crashing to the mat. His body bends as he writhers in pain. Beef shakes his head a couple times, still recovering from the eye gouge. Beef turns and grabs "Mongo," pulling him up his feet. He puts his arm over his head and lifts "Mongo" up for a suplex. Beef begins to stall with "Mongo" in the air. He holds "Mongo" for a few seconds, pretends to check his watch, and even starts doing squats in the ring. He moves around the ring a bit before finally throwing "Mongo" forward so he lands right on his chest! "Mongo" pops up to his knees, holding his chest in pain, as Beef begins to flex to the crowd.
Mueller: I think Beef might physically force Mongo into cardiac arrest.
Beef has his back to "Mongo" as he starts to eat up the attention. "Mongo" sees a window of opportunity and takes it, using his arm he hits Marquise Beef with a low blow! Beef bends over in pain, and falls forward into the ropes, and actually rolling through them to the outside to his feet. Beef bends over at the bottom of the ramp, holding his groin in pain as the crowd boos. "Mongo" gets up to his feet, he runs away from Beef, bounces off the ropes and returns, and then jumps over the ropes with a tope suicida! He sends Beef to the ground for the first time all night! "Mongo" ends up on one knee before he pushes himself up and puts his arms up as if he just won. He gets pelted with a full beer. "Mongo" gets upset and flips off the general direction of where the beer came from. "Mongo" starts arguing with a fan at ringside before he takes the chair away from the fan! "Mongo" tosses the chair into the ring and gives the fan another bird for good measure. He turns his attention back to a slowly recovering Beef. He grabs Beef by the head and arm, glances at the ring steps and tries to whip him into the steps. Beef halts that, however, and uses his power to pull "Mongo" back into him. He gets "Mongo" into a waist lock and then rams him into the ring post on the outside. He doesn't let go as "Mongo" yells out in pain, but instead puts "Mongo" onto his shoulders before overhead pressing him above him. Beef then tosses "Mongo" back over the top rope and into the ring!
Venom: Mongo trying to put up a fight.
Mueller: And a fan just won free tickets to the next GUN Show, that's a hell of a throw!
Beef adjusts his groin a bit, still hurt from the low blow, before sliding back into the ring. "Mongo" slowly grabs the chair from earlier but Marquise Beef steps on it, hurting "Mongo's" hands in the process. Beef grabs "Mongo" by the back of the head and starts clubbing him in the back. He then lifts him above his head again in an overhead press. Beef yells out "BEEEEEF!", runs to the ropes, and then launches "Mongo" into the second row! The crowd kind of scatters, those who didn't were hit with this scrappy kid pretending to be the XHF Owner, but most around just start trying to help get him back to ringside. Part of the audience actually begins to pick "Mongo" up and get him over the barricade and back into ringside.
Venom: Oh my god! Fans getting more that's what they paid for.
Mueller: You're right! We should've charged more.
"Mongo" begins to crawl to the apron as Marquise Beef showboats in the ring to the cheering crowd. Beef turns his attention back to "Mongo" and goes to the ropes near him. He reaches out for "Mongo" but "Mongo" surprises him by spraying Beef with a fire extinguisher! Beef stumbles back, blinded again, and he falls to his butt as he desperately tries to clean out his eyes. "Mongo" tosses the extinguisher away, resting his head on the apron watching Beef, before reaching back under the ring for something else. "Mongo" pulls out a table! He slides said table into the ring and slides in after it. Beef has blindly made it into a corner, still trying to clean his eyes out. "Mongo" unfolds a leg and props the table into the opposite corner from Beef. He pats it a couple times before turning around and charging at Beef. "Mongo" punches Beef a couple times and then backs off, as then Beef begins the blindly swing punches but whiffs consistently. "Mongo" begins to taunt him and starts laughing, up until Beef grabs him by the neck. "Mongo" kicks Beef in the stomach once, twice, three times before Beef lets go of him. "Mongo" stumbles to his knee, grabs the chair from earlier, and smacks it into Beef's face!
Mueller: Ugh! Dirty tactics by the Owner of the XHF Network!
Venom: Yeah! We would never do such things...
The chairshot doesn't knock Beef back, however, but it does stun him to one knee. "Mongo" spits on the chair and then hits Beef again right on forehead! Beef falls to his back, seemingly out! "Mongo" tosses the chair and goes for the first pinfall of the night! 1.....2....KICKOUT!
Venom: TWO!
Mueller: Oh thank god.
"Mongo" goes for another pin, 1......2....KICKOUT again but this time Beef launches him off of the mat. "Mongo" lands on his chest again and Beef slowly gets to his feet. He motions for the end, and grabs "Mongo" by the back of the head off of the mat and sets up for a powerbomb. Beef lifts "Mongo" up but "Mongo" rolls over Beef's head and goes for a roll up pin. Beef won't get off his feet though as "Mongo" tries to roll him up, and Beef instead grabs "Mongo" by the neck with both hands. He tosses him up to his shoulders and powerbombs him in one motion! With a sitout, he pins "Mongo," 1......2.....KICKOUT! Beef looks at the referee in shock, "WHAT?!"
Venom: WHAT?
Mueller: WHAT?
Beef winces in pain from the multiple cheap shots by "Mongo," before finally making it up to his feet. He notices and then points out the table, to the delight of the audience. He grabs "Mongo" by the head and gets him up to his feet. He goes for a simple hip toss into the table, but "Mongo" lands on his feet at the table instead. He balances himself from falling into it and turns to Beef charging at him. He dodges quickly and Beef slams himself through the table! He goes limp in the debris as "Mongo" falls back to his ass, narrowly avoiding disaster. Crowd begins to boo as "Mongo" slowly drags Beef away from the ropes and slowly rolls him to his back. He goes for the pin, 1.....2....KICKOUT! "Mongo" grabs the hair of his mask in shock. He almost begins to sob as he falls over to his side.
Mueller: COME ON, BEEF!
Venom: Oh my God...
Beef stirs and rolls back to his stomach, before slowly trying to push himself up. "Mongo" looks around, he grabs the chair he used earlier, and he turns to swing it at Beef but Beef punches it right out of the air! Beef then delivers a stiff kick into "Mongo's" stomach, pulls him in for a powerbomb again. "Mongo" drops himself to his knees and then low blows Beef again! He scatters around, grabs the chair off the mat, and smashes it into Beef's face for a third time. Beef gets rocked but only drops to one knee. "Mongo" winds up again but it's caught by Beef this time. Beef rips it out of "Mongo's" hands, and then delivers a thunderous chair shot to the head of "Mongo"! "Mongo" goes flying back off his feet and Beef bat-flips the chair away as if he's Jose Bautista. He turns back to "Mongo" but "Mongo" was hit so hard he rolled out of the ring.
Mueller: Oh shit, I think he killed him.
Venom: I mean... That's... that's what you promised though, right?
Mueller: Yeah but for the real owner, not... Oh shit.
"Mongo" begins to bleed under the mask, blood visibly coming out of the neck and eye holes of the mask. He lays nearly unconcious at ring side as Beef Marquise begins to smack his hands together as if to clean them. He gets out of the ring, picks up and rolls "Mongo" back into the ring. "Mongo" stumbles to his feet, back to one knee, back to his feet before resting against the ropes. Beef follows him back into the ring as well. Beef motions for the end and grabs "Mongo," whips him into the opposite ropes, but "Mongo" holds onto the ropes instead of running back. Beef charges after "Mongo," "Mongo" ducks under and rolls underneath Beef to get behind him. Beef turns and goes for a clothesline but "Mongo" ducks that as well. "Mongo" taunts Beef, Beef looks frustrated for a second, takes a step back, and then kicks "Mongo" in the groin as retaliation for earlier!
Mueller: Well. Karma.
"Mongo" drops to both knees and then Beef delivers a stiff kick to the chest of "Mongo" to end him to his back. "Mongo" lays on his back and Marquise Beef stops in his tracks, over-dramatically looks at the nearest turnbuckle, and then back at "Mongo." He starts slapping his chest ala Eddie Guerrero, and begins to climb the turnbuckle. With his back to "Mongo," be looks back for a second, gets to the top rope, and with perfect form looks to execute a 300 lb moonsault! "Mongo" however rolls away just in the knick of time and Beef crashes into the mat hard onto his stomach and chest! He yells in pain and manages to pushes himself up to his feet using the momentum from the moonsault. "Mongo" gets to his feet, and with the opportunity he runs at Beef to hit him with a slingblade. HOWEVER, Beef catches him mid-wrap-around, he pulls him up into a powerbomb and drills him into the mat! Beef crumples on top of "Mongo" for the pinfall, 1.......2........3!
WINNER: YA BOI, MARQUISE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF
Mueller: What a massive powerbomb to win it!
Venom: By the skin of his teeth though.
Mueller: He had it in the bag a long time ago.
Venom: I don't... I don't think we were watching the same match.
The crowd erupts for Marquise Beef. Beef slowly rolls off of "Mongo" and raises his right fist in victory. Marquise Beef puts his hand on "Mongo's" chest and pushes himself off and onto his knees, sitting on his heels. He stalls as he works to catch his breath while "Mongo" lays there with the only movement coming from his lungs expanding and compressing. "Exit Music (For a Film)" by Radiohead picks up on the speakers about halfway through. Marquise Beef raises an eyebrow as he catches the music and starts nodding his head. He understands.
Venom: What is going on here?
Marquise Beef reaches back down to "Mongo" and begins to cradle him in his arms. He picks "Mongo" up off the ground and carries him to the apron where he carefully lays him back down. Beef then rolls through the ropes to ringside, cradles "Mongo" again, and carries him around the ring towards the opposite side from the ramp. He raises "Mongo" above his head, holding him by his back and legs. As the song begins to pick up, Beef hands "Mongo" off to the crowd that has their hands extended out towards him. "Mongo" begins to crowdsurf, unconciously, on his back over the audience. The lights dim back down in the arena and a spotlight shines over "Mongo" being lifted above the crowd, moving higher and higher up the seating chart. His arms extend out into a crucifixtion pose at the height of the song as the audience begins to sing with the song, "WE ALL... HOPE MONGO CHOKES! HOPE MONGO CHOOOOOKES!" followed by cheers for our favorite intern. Marquise Beef watches in amazement as he backs up the ramp towards the exit.
Mueller: What a sight, what a send off for our intern! He stood tall, he stood strong, but most importantly, he did what Mongo was too chickenshit to do. And now! Now he's being honored!
Venom: This kid is going home with more respect than Mongo has earned in his entire career!
Mueller: Oh! By the way, uh, intern. You're fired.
The song dies down and the spotlight comes off "Mongo" crowdsurfing as he reaches the back of the audience. As soon as the attention is off of him, the crowd dumps him on his head behind the last row of seats. He lays there, unattended, and not moving.
Mueller: It’s too bad that wasn’t the real Mongo.
Venom: I know, and too bad that kid has to find a new job.
Mueller: Whoa, Goldbear II and Mecha-Goldbear are already in the ring. How come they didn’t get entrances?
Venom: We spent all our money on our entrance, we couldn’t afford for them to have one too.
Grudge Match
Mecha-Goldbear vs Goldbear II
Goldbear II stands in the ring across from his arch nemesis the mechanical monster Mecha-Goldbear. Mecha-Goldbear looks cute in his bear onsie just standing there waiting as the bell rings. Goldbear II approaches his foe and swipes at his opponent, but Mecha-Goldbear counters with a right hand to the side of Goldbear II’s head. Goldbear II stumbles backwards and lets out a rawr.
Venom: Oh no.
Mueller: That robot has reflexes like cat.
Venom: Goldy needs to step his game up.
Goldbear II shakes it off and begins his approach again. Mecha-Goldbear doesn’t move holding his ground. Goldbear II doesn’t immediately attack this time instead walking slowly around his opponent. Mecha-Goldbear’s head follows his challenger even as Goldbear II moves behind him. This frieghtens Goldbear II and he again swipes at his foe, but again Mecha-Goldbear is too fast and his arm rotates in a circle and bops Goldbear II on top of the head dropping the massive bear down to one knee. Mecha-Goldbear turns the rest of his body around so he is facing Goldbear II.
Mueller: This robot is full of tricks.
Venom: Goldy is feeling him out, and it’s not working so far.
Goldbear II still on one knee shakes his head trying to get the cobwebs out when the eyes of Mecha-Goldbear turn red and “Finish him” can be heard from the crowd. Mecha-Goldbear begins pummeling Goldbear II with lefts and rights. Goldbear II puts his paws up to block as he stands, but he’s rocked backwards and falls back onto the ropes. Mecha-Goldbear moves in continually pummeling Goldbear II with lefts and rights. Goldbear II is taking the bulk of the punishment on his arms and they are becoming weak. He can no longer hold them up to block and they fall to his side. Mecha-Goldbear continues to move in swinging ferociously and Goldbear II’s only course of defense is to grab the top rope and drops. Mecha-Goldbear cannot stop and walks right over the top rope and tumbles to the outside.
Venom: It is not looking good for Goldy so far.
Mueller: He better use this time to recoup.
Goldbear II stumbles back to his feet and stands in the center of the ring. He shakes his head as Mecha-Goldbear tries to get back to his feet on the outside. The mechanical bear has trouble getting up as his limbs don’t bend, but gets back to his feet by punching the ground and launching himself up to his feet. Goldbear II in the ring has regained his composure and he runs and launches himself through the ring ropes claws first and impales Mecha-Goldbear in the chest with them. Mecha-Goldbear sparks from his chest and stumbles back into the ring barrier pushing it back into the fans in the front row. Goldbear II pulls his claws out of the chest of his foe and stands letting out a mighty roar.
Mueller: The tides have turned for Goldy.
Venom: Get him Goldy!
Goldbear II reaches down with his paws and pulls his mechanical foe to his feet and whips him towards the ring. Mecha-Goldbear hits the ring apron and rolls in and is laying on his back in the center of the ring. Goldbear II begins to walk towards the ring when the voice from the crowd that screamed attack screams “No” and Evil Borg appears from the crowd.
EB: This cannot happen. You cannot topple our creation.
Evil Borg walks towards Goldbear II on the outside to stop him from defeating his machine, but Goldbear II swipes and knocks Evil Borg off of his feet. Evil Borg retreats back to the crowd and Goldbear II returns his attention to the ring where the distraction has given Mecha-Goldbear time to recover and he has gotten back to his feet. Goldbear II quickly rolls into the ring, but Mech-Goldbear is right on top of him swinging wildly clobbering Goldbear II before he can get all the way to his feet. Goldbear II is rocked again. He stumbles backwards and hits the ropes. Blood begins to clot up in his fur on his face. He wipes the blood with his paw and is enraged by the site of his own blood and takes two steps forwards and dive into Mecha-Goldbear taking him down with a spear.
Mueller & Venom: BANG!
Goldbear II stays on top of Mecha-Goldbear and swipes at him with his claws ripping away at the robot ripping open the chest plate of his foe. Metal and gears begin top spring out of the robot and oil begins to spill onto the ring mat. The ref moves in and watches and as the lights go out on Mecha-Goldbear’s eyes the ref calls for the bell.
Venom: He did it. He got his revenge.
Mueller: One down, one to go. We’re up next.
Venom: We’ll be back after this word from Charlie Velez
Brother-in-law of Venom, best friend of James Mueller and co-founder of the Young Guns Charlie Velez joins us LIVE via satellite (pre-recorded) from his corporate offices in Chicago, Illinois to wrestle with his own thoughts.
Charlie Velez sits behind a large oak desk. In front of him lays papers of great importance that he’s ignoring as he looks off into space. He’s dressed to the nines like you’d expect from the CEO of a large business. Blue ties, white collared shirt under a suit coat that screams I cost a lot of fucking money. We zoom in on the face of the man who was in the original XHF from start to finish and we hear him talk, but his lips aren’t moving. His face remains still and stoic as we hear his thoughts.
“What should I have for lunch today.”
We hear him think as he begins to tap his fingers on his desk.
“Nothing beats Chicago deep dish, but if I order my usual from down stairs I’m gonna end up so full I won’t want to do anything after lunch.”
He reaches up and rubs his chin.
“There’s a new sushi place that opened on the corner, I could go for some good Sushi right now. I’ve stayed away from it since I heard the story about Jeremy Pivin getting mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi.”
He stops rubbing his chin and his brow wrinkles.
“Man, it’s crazy that Pivin got caught up in a harassment scandal. I kinda liked him. Too bad he’s a total douche. I wonder if maybe the mercury poisoning might’ve been one of those women getting back at him. Nah.”
He shakes his head back and forth briefly.
“He was great in Entourage. I binged a bunch of episodes over the summer. It reminds me of my time with the Young Guns. We did a lot of stuff they did but none of us were riding each other’s coat tails, we all had our own successes. It’s with them I first really got into Sushi, but we also always got pizza every time we were in Chicago. OH!”
He looks surprised momentarily as he just remembered something important.
“I can’t forget to record James and V’s new show. They want me to be on it, but I’m just not sure. They said I could just do something funny to tease people, but I’m not that funny. Well, my kids think I’m funny, sometimes.”
He taps his fingers again staring silently for a moment, nothing but the sound of his tapping fingers fills the air.
“Screw mercury, I’ll get the sushi.”
He reaches and taps a button to his right.
“Mary, can you order sushi from the new place on the corner for lunch please?”
Mary’s voice rings through the speaker.
“Are you sure sir? Val in marketing got food poisoning from there. We’re not exactly near an ocean for them to get all the ingredients are we?”
“You’re right. Thank you for looking out for me. Order my usual.”
“Deep dish it is sir.”
He taps the button again to turn off the speaker and stares off again.
“I’m not getting anything done after lunch.”
The feed cuts and we cut back to the gym where Wombat stands in the ring shivering in fear as Ken in the Box stands on the ring apron with the tag rope in his hand.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump as they begin to take off their jackets and any accessories before the match starts.
XHF Tag Team Championship Match
Wombat and Ken in the Box vs The Guns
Venom starts in the ring with Wombat as Mueller moves to the ring apron and Goldbear II stands on the outside, bandage on his face where he was cut open by Mecha-Goldbear. The bell rings and Venom lunges at Wombat and Wombat retreats and slides out of the ring. Venom throws his arms out with a cocky smile on his face and shakes his head. Ken in the Box yells at his partner to get back in the ring.
Venom: Wombat wants no part of Venom early on here.
Muller: What a bitch.
Wombat rolls back in and as soon as he gets to his feet Venom grabs him and whips him into the corner. Venom follows in with a splash and stands back as Wombat stumbles out before pushing him in the back causing Wombat to fall flat on his face. Wombat rolls over onto his back and lays there as Venom moves through the ropes and then spring boards off with a 450 splash onto Wombat. Venom makes the cover, but he pulls Wombat’s head up after 2.
Mueller: Almost had him there.
Venom: I cannot believe Wombat kicked out there.
Venom stands up laughing as Wombat stays on the ground screaming “Just pin me and end it now.” Venom doesn’t go for another pin, though. Instead he reaches down and picks up Wombat by his ears and knees him in the stomach doubling him over. Venom then lifts Wombat up in a stalling suplex position and he walks towards his corner with Wombat still high in the air and reaches back and tags in Mueller who climbs up top and dives off and drives Wombat to the mat with a diving cross body. Mueller stays on top of Wombat for the pin, but he too picks Wombat up before the count of three smiling from ear-to-ear.
Mueller: He kicked out again!
Venom: Wombat sure has heart.
Wombat kicks his feet and trashes his arms like a four-year-old in a grocery store told he couldn’t get a candy bar. Mueller laughs as he reached down to grab the fit-throwing Wombat and Wombat grabs him by the head and rolls him up for a pin attempt, but Mueller immediately kicks out.
Mueller: Out of nowhere!
Venom: Wombat trying to show this will not be a one sided affair.
Muller hops to his feet and begins stomping away at Wombat enraged by the sudden pin attempt. Wombat lays motionless on the mat from the stomps of Mueller and Mueller picks him up and lifts him in the air and drops him across his knee with a back breaker. Wombat crumbles to the mat as Mueller throws his arms out taunting to the crowd receiving cheers from the pro-Guns crowd. Wombat rolls over onto his stomach and begins to crawl towards his corner. Muller stands and watches letting Wombat go. Wombat then dives out like his trying to make the hot tag, but falls short of the outstretched hand of Ken in the Box.
Venom: So close to his tag partner there.
Mueller: Yet so far away.
Wombat rolls over on his back, he was actually nowhere even close to his partner’s hand, still lying about four feet away from his corner. Mueller moves in and lifts Wombat up and holds his hand out in the direction of Ken in the Box taunting Ken before whipping Wombat across the ring into the Guns corner. Venom grabs Wombat, more to hold him upright than to keep him there, as Mueller turns and charges spearing Wombat in the corner. Wombat crumbles to the ground as Mueller moves outside the ring onto the apron and springs over with a senton on the prone Wombat. Mueller then gets up and makes a tag to his partner Venom who springs over the ropes himself with a leg drop on Wombat. Venom holds the leg drop on Wombat but he rolls back off before the count of three.
Mueller: He kicks out again.
Venom: I like this Wombat. Heart of a champion.
Mueller: To bad he’s built like a chess club champion.
Wombat rolls over and gets onto his hands and knees and begins physically crying as Venom stands over him. Venom looks confused and yells out, “Come on man, grow up.” Venom kicks at his head softly and Wombat reaches back and swipes at the foot of Venom. Venom laughs as Wombat continues to crawl away. Venom reaches with his boot to kick at Wombat again, but this time Wombat grabs him by the leg and pulls him down face first into the bottom turn buckle of the neutral corner. Venom hits hard and rolls out of the ring. Wombat begins to crawl towards his corner, but Venom slides back in the ring to stop him dropping a knee onto his back. Venom is enraged and begins stomping away at the back of Wombat until he goes limp.
Venom: I don’t think Venom was ready for Wombat to actually fight back.
Mueller: I don’t think Wombat was ready for Wombat to actually fight back.
Wombat lays on the mat motionless, again just feet from his corner. Venom lifts him up and slaps him in the face. Wombat crumbles to the mat again. Venom shakes his head and lifts Wombat up onto his shoulder and walks towards his corner and slams him down with a power slam.
Venom: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Venom use such a power move.
Mueller: Everyone is a power wrestler against someone who weighs 98 pounds.
Venom reaches up and tags Mueller again. Muller goes up to the top rope and taunts the crowd before flying off with a splash onto Wombat, but NO, Wombat gets his knees up. Venom looks on in awe from the outside as Mueller rolls around on the mat holding his midsection and Wombat begins to crawl towards his corner. Mueller gets to his knees and tags in Venom who hops over the ropes to chase Wombat. Wombat lunges towards his corner with an outstretched arm and he… MAKES THE TAG. Ken in the Box comes in hot and runs in and knocks down Venom with a shoulder block. He stomps away at Venom, but not for long as Muller comes off the top rope and knocks Ken down with a drop kick. Ken hits his back and… he can’t move because he’s a box. Venom dives on top of Ken and the ref counts to three.
Venom: They did it.
Mueller: Against all odds the Guns defended their titles successfully.
Wombat lays on the outside of the ring as the ref helps Ken get off of his back and out of the ring. Venom and Mueller stand in the center of the ring with their titles held high. Venom and Mueller are tossed mics and he hushes the crowd.
“Thank you. Thank you all for tuning into the Gun Show. This is the first place you were able to see the Guns in action, but it will not be the only place.”
“The rumors, the ones we spread, are true. The XHF Tag Team Championships are now indeed active.”
“And at Supremecy we will defend them.”
“It won’t be against Wombat and Ken in the Box, though.”
“No, the Network doesn’t have anyone that good for us to face.”
“It will be against four teams of the XHF Network.”
“In a special match of our choosing.”
“We thought long and hard, and we came up with match worthy of the Guns.”
“The king of winter match.”
“For more details on this match and who will be involved tune in to the XHF Network.”
Venom and Mueller drop their mics as we fade out.