Gun Show V: Night of Celebration
Jul 7, 2018 11:12:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 3 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on Jul 7, 2018 11:12:07 GMT -5
The Gun Show opens in the office of Charlie Velez. He sits alone at his desk. He’s reading something on his tablet in front of him. He smiles and lets out a laugh.
Velez: Oh Snoopy you never fail to make me laugh.
Velez looks up and looks surprised to see the cameras. He reaches over and slaps his intercom.
Velez: Why didn’t you tell me the cameras were here for my sexual harassment training video. I’ve been waiting for this all day.
A crackling noise is heard from the intercom and then a voice is heard.
Intercom: They’re not. That’s the GUNS crew. There’s a show tonight and they’re here to watch you again. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this... but your video was cancelled by the new H.R. that was hired by the board of directors.
Velez: What? The board hired someone without me? How could they do that?
The voice on the intercom does not answer. Instead Velez is taken by the appearance of a large man in a three piece suit that has snuck into his office while he was going back-and-forth with his secretary. The man is non other than former XHF Star Mr. X.
Mr. X: Because you’ve taken things to far lately and recorded them for the world to see and they need someone to keep you in check.
Velez grits his teeth as Mr. X laughs and walks out leaving Velez alone and upset.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump and Venom grabs a mic.
Venom: Welcome to the Gun Show!
The crowd pops and Venom lowers the mic with a smirk before motioning them to quiet and continuing.
Venom: Tonight Goldy has issued a challenge to any bears in the building to challenge for his Bear Necessities Championship. He knows no one will have the fur to step up, but he’s here to accept the challenge. We’ll wait as long as we need to.
A few minutes pass and Venom and Mueller both check their wrists like they’re looking at the time, but they’re not wearing watches. Venom lifts the mic again but he is cut off as someone, a group of someone’s actually, appear at the end of the aisle. It’s the same group of “bears” that showed up for the Lumber bear match. They have Magnus with them. Magnus looks thin and exhausted. He’s barely standing on his own. The lead bear takes the lead and steps up with a mic.
Lead bear: We had so much fun last time we thought we’d come back tonight and you’re challenging bears? Well we’ve got the bear for you.
From the middle of the pack walks out a monster of a man wearing pink skinny jeans and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. He smiles and waves at Venom before running and sliding into the ring. Venom and Mueller look at each other and shrug.
Venom: Okay that works for us.
Venom and Mueller turn to exit the ring and suddenly the mountain of a man realizes he’s in the ring with a live bear and turns to his group looking terrified.
Lead bear: Wait. We thought one of you were Goldy.
Venom: Nope. Goldy is a bear. Ring the bell.
The bell rings and we’re underway. The mountainous bear puts one leg through the ropes to leave but before he can Goldbear II moves in on him and grabs him with his claws by the back of the Hawaiian shirt and rips him back into the ring and flat on his back. All the bears on the outside look shocked and aren’t paying attention allowing JFK to grab Magnus and lead him to the back.
Mueller: Did we just get Magnus back?
Venom: Yes we did.
Mueller: How’d you pull this off?
Venom: I put out a Craigslist ad just like you did and they showed up again.
The bear lays on the mat and Goldbear II goes to stomp on his face but the bear rolls away. Goldbear II goes for another stomp but again the bear rolls away and this time gets to his feet. He stumbles backwards and hits the ropes and runs at Goldbear II and collides with a shoulder block, but Goldbear II doesn’t move. The bear steps back and looks shocked that his giant frame did nothing to Goldbear and in the moment of hesitation Goldbear II swipes and leaves cuts in the chest of the bear. He screams in pain from the attack and Goldbear II grabs him and pulls him into a bear hug. The bear immediately begins screaming that he gives up and Goldbear II throws him down to the ground. He rolls out of the ring and retreats to his friends and the bears exit.
Winner and still Bear Necessities Champion: Goldbear II
Venom and Mueller slide into the ring from the announcers tables and Venom pulls the mic back up.
Venom: That’s it. There’s no more bears for Goldbear II to battle. We may just have to retire the title with Goldy undefeated.
Mecha-Gold-bear III: I love you.
Just then Mecha-Gold-bear III appears at the end of the aisle. He’s alone for some reason. His eyes turn red.
Mecha-Goldbear: DESTROY!
Venom: Whoa whoa whoa. You want another shot at Goldbear II you can have it, but it won’t happen tonight. It will have to wait until week of Champions.
Mecha-Gold-bear III: I love you.
Venom: There you have it folks, Goldbear II will take on Mecha-Goldbear at the Guns week of Champions Show!
*We see Evil-Borg riding on the back of Mecha Gold-Bear III, popping the cap off a Hyper Beer bottle using the ear of Mecha Gold-Bear III. The camera pulls out to reveal Heavy-Metal walking alongside the giant robo-bear on the outside perimeter of Venom’s gym.*
: Mwua ha ha! The next step is set! When Mecha Gold-Bear III wins the Bear Necessities Title at Night of Champions, we will have everything we need to re-set the timeline and bring about …THE AFTERWARD!
: NOT ON OUR WATCH!
: Say what? Who dares!?
*The Borgs look up and see the Trons all standing on the roof of the gym. Shogun, Saber, Nano, and the rest! Heavy points at them.*
: WHOOOOOP!
: But I just opened this! Oh, fine.
*Evil Borg throws the Hyper Beer bottle at the Trons, but it goes maybe halfway up the wall before gravity brings the bottle crashing to the sidewalk.*
: I meant to do that!
: And we mean to jump down there and defeat you!
: Hell naw, uh-uh! You’re on your own there pal.
*Nano walks away from the ledge of the roof. Shogun and Saber look over the edge and then look at each other.*
: Well… we would, but we forgot our anti-gravity boots! Otherwise, you would get such a beating!
: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Well… we would just jump up there, but we also forgot our anti-gravity boots!
: Do you wish me to fly up there master?
: Shhh. No, stay grounded. You will not stop us before we take back this timeline at Night of Champions!
: Well…then… at GUNS Week of Gold show, probably to be officially named later, we challenge you! We will stop you from bringing about your evil …THE AFTERWARD… and instead bring about the prosperity of …THE FUTURE! And we will remove you Borgs by blasting you out of this timeline in a Space Pod match!
: How dare you! What do you think Heavy?
: Woop, ooop, woooop. Whoooop wooop oooop whooooop.
: I concur. We accept your challenge! We will be the ones who send you blasting off through time!
: We’ll see about that!
: We will!
…
: We’re leaving now!
: Good!
: Good!
*The Trons all take fancy poses, except Nano who left. The Borgs back away slowly as the Trons stay in there poses, unmoving.*
*The lights go down as the tron lights up with a promo video:*
*After the video finishes, the crowd cheers and even a "N-O-C" chant tries to start but doesn't quite get there. Even how, the fans are hyped as heck*
We open up on James Mueller standing backstage.
James Mueller: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I’m here to introduce the world premiere of XHF legend Steve Awesome’s latest movie trailer. So let’s bring out the man himself to get a few words about it.
Mueller touches his ear piece.
James Mueller: Oh okay, I’m being told Steve Awesome is actually not here. I guess he’s way to busy to be at his own trailer premier. But I got his agent here to set the scene.
The agent walks onto the set next to Mueller carrying a briefcase that he hands to Mueller who doesn’t quite seem sure he knows what it is.
Steve’s Agent: This Movie was written, directed, starred in and produced by my client Steve Awesome. He’s worked really hard to bring this trailer and it’s movie to all of you. We hope you enjoy it.
The agent starts talking to Mueller as the trailer begins.
—-
“Jack Globen was your basic average guy.”
The scene shows Steve Awesome, portraying the role of Jack Globen, with a clean shaven face and dressed in untrendy ripped clothing. An old man in a Maga hat is yelling at jack in the door way of jacks apartment.
Landlord: “You are two months behind on rent Globen!”
Jack Globen: I-I know. Times have b-been rough Mr. Ogilvy. I-I-I’m having trouble getting the money.
A timid and nervous Jack replies.
Landlord: If I don’t have the last two months rent and THIS months rent on my desk in five days, you are out on your ass, Globen.
Jack Globen: Y-Yes sir.
The landlord slams Jacks door in his face.
——
Jack is standing in line in Starbucks dressed in some lame plaid design business attire from Kohl’s. He finally gets into the front of the line and a sexy and beautiful Latin barista is at the counter. She wore a lot of makeup and wore fancy clothes.
Jack Globen: Hi, Carmen.
He chuckles nervously to himself, he already starts to blush as she looks at him.
Carmen: Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?
Jack took a deep breath.
Jack Globen: Okay here it goes. Carmen, I’ve been getting to know you more and more as I’ve been coming to this Starbucks and well, I was hoping you’d be my girlfriend.
Jack pours his heart out and Carmen just stares at him in confusion.
Carmen: Um...who are you?
Jack Globen: Um….its uhhh...it’s me Jack…
Jack explains, while struggling not to break down in tears.
Jack Globen: We talk every morning…
Carmen: Oh right, right. Look, I don’t date co-workers, so goodbye…”
She smiles and walks off.
Jack Globen: But I don’t work here…
——
Lucy: So how was your morning Jack?
Lucy shared a cubicle with Jack at the office. She was pretty, but didn’t care to be as done up as other girls. Jack doesn’t notice Lucy smiling at him and biting her lip as she looked at him.
Jack Globen: It was terrible Luce, Carmen doesn’t even know who I am. I struck out again.”
Lucy: Well maybe you and I could go out some-
Just then the boss, Mr. Furlap, pokes his head into the cubicle.
Mr. Furlap: Hey Globen, can I see you in my office?
——
Mr. Furlap: Say Pal...I’ve been noticing you haven’t been making many sales. I’m going to need you to start making some sales.
Inside the bosses office, Jack nervously starts nodding his head. He’s already sweating profusely.
Jack Globen: Yes sir. I-I-know sir. I’ll try harder sir.
Mr. Furlap: Good thing, because if you don’t start making sales, I’m gonna have to fire your ass!”
Mr. Furlap notices how bad Jack is sweating.
Mr. Furlap: And wipe down that chair on your way out.
Jack Globen: Yes sir.
——
“Until one day, his whole life changed.”
Jack is driving down the street and he spots a shady warehouse with a sign that says “big $$$ for science experiment”
Jack Globen: Well...I guess I can’t do much worse in life.
He quickly turns into the empty parking lot as it starts to rain.
——
Jack is being handed an unlabeled squeeze tube by two men dressed in lab coats. They both have long luxurious beards down to their waist.
Scientist 1: It’s a special beard growing ointment for your face.
Jack Globen: Where else could you grow a beard?
Both the scientists look visibly annoyed. The second scientists aggressively hands him some money.
——
The next morning the landlord is banging on Jacks apartment door. Jack is hurrying through the house trying to get to the door.
Landlord: I changed my mind Globen!!
He bangs on the door.
Landlord: I want my money TODA-
Jack finally opens the door and the landlord is absolutely stunned.
Landlord: saaayyyyy, that’s a great looking beard, Globen.
Jack Globen: Huh?
He glances at the mirror near his door, and sure enough there was small beard fully grown on his face.
Landlord: look, if you need more time to get your rent money together, I understand. Just you know, get it to me when you got it, friend.
The landlord smiles and shakes Jacks hand. Jack is shocked.
——
Jack gets to the front of the line at Starbucks. Where Carmen was staring at her phone.
Jack Globen: Can I get one coffee with-
Carmen: Ohh. I like your beard! Jack right?
Jack Globen: You remembered who I was.
Jack was stunned by the idea as Carmen nodded. She then reached forward and started to make out with him passionately. After she was done Jack felt something weird in his mouth and reached in and pulls out a small folded piece of paper with Carmen’s number on it.
Carmen: Call me, sexy.
—-
Jack Globen: What!? You’ll buy?
Jack is on the phone at work. He listens to the customer on the phone in amazement.
Customer: I can tell over the phone that you have a very good beard. So I will buy a hundred thousand dollars worth of product!
Jack just fients from shear shock.
——
“But did it change his life in a good way? Or a bad way?”
Lucy: Jack, ever since you grew that beard you’ve become a huge asshole!
You hear Lucy’s voice over a montage of Jack and Carmen speeding down the road in a drop top convertible, laughing and counting money. They don’t even notice splashing a bunch of mud on a homeless guy.
Lucy: You need to stop going to that science lab.
Jack is combing his luscious beard in a mirror inside his new giant mansion when he suddenly stops and glares to the side.
Jack Globen: How do you know about the science lab!? Lucy, have you been following me!?”
Lucy tries to act innocent but she can’t hide the stubble and the patches of beard she keeps trying to shave off.
Lucy: I’m worried about you Jack! Your addicted to the beard, Jack.
Jack Globen: I’m not addicted I can shave it any time I want!
——
Jack is in the mirror holding a beard trimmer in his right hand.
Jack Globen: So long sweet beard...You’ve served me well.
The beard trimmer buzzed as he slowly brought it toward his face. Just before the trimmer touched the hair, his left hand snapped to life and gripped his right hand around the wrist, stopping the trimmer.
“Jack Globen”: You can’t shave me Jack. I gave you everything!
Jack seemed to say, except his voice was course and jagged.
Jack Globen: W-w-what!?
The left hand forced the right hand and the trimmer away from the face and the beard.
“Jack Globen”: That’s right Jack, I’m your beard. And I’m taking over!
Jack gasps in fear.
——
“Novem-Beards”
Starring Steve Awesome.
Coming to a theatre near you!
——
James Mueller: Wow That is a lot of money!
Mueller realizes the cameras were on and rolling and quickly snap shuts the briefcase.
James Mueller: Oh Uh...what a trailer. I know what I’m seeing. I already smell oscars.
Mueller leans in toward Steve Awesome’s Agent.
James Mueller: I think we can make this work.
Steve’s Agent: Great. I’ll let him know.
The agent walks off leaving the briefcase with James.
James Mueller: So go see that movie when it comes out. It’s going to make someone a lot of money…
He pats the briefcase as he walks off.
James Mueller is backstage with his good friend and former partner in No Warning Shot Magnus. Magnus is downing a gallon of water as Mueller sits next to him with his arm around his shoulder.
Mueller: I’m sorry this happened to you Mags, but we’ve got you now. I don’t even want to think about what those bears did to you, but it won’t happen again.
Magnus: It was terrible. I’ll never forget the torture they put me trough.
Mueller: It’s okay, we don’t want to know what kind of sick sex acts they made you perform.
Magnus: Sex acts? They didn’t make me have sex. They made me go to different gay clubs, pretend to be their boyfriend to make their exes jealous, and made me dance all night every night. I’m so dehydrated from all the dancing and my feet are blistered and calloused. They look like something you accidentally find on the internet when you type in the wrong word while looking for porn.
Mueller: So all they made you do was dance?
Magnus: All night every night until I could t move.
Mueller: Oh, well that makes it easier to tell you that you have to wear this mask again and get in the ring with Hardcore Harry for me tonight.
: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
We cut back to the arena.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump. Venom and Mueller stand in the ring with the XHF Tag Team Championships raised high overhead. The crowd cheers their champions and as the crowd quiets down they each lower their respective belts into their shoulder and left their mics.
Mueller: Many have doubted us.
Venom: Many thought we’d fail.
Mueller: But here we stand, still, your XHF Tag Team Champions.
Venom: We’ve done it. We’ve beaten them all. There’s no one left worth fighting.
Mueller: We climbed to the top of the mountain and then kicked everyone down as they tried to climb up.
Venom: That’s why at Night of Champions by order of the XHF Commish here, the Guns will...
Mueller: Take a well deserved night off!
Venom and Mueller laugh as they make the announcement.
Mueller: Since we have technically already defended these titles this month we can wait and defend them next on a special post NoC Gun Show where the Guns will take on all comers.
Venom: That we book to face us.
The laughter starts up again, but soon they are cut off by a voice over the mic and the appearance of one James Raymond at the end of the aisle.
Raymond: Hold it one second their boys.
Venom: What is this? How do people keep getting in here and who keeps giving them live mics. SECURITY!
Raymond: You can call security all you want, but it won’t change the fact that I went over your head and got you two in a match at Night of Champions. So you won’t have the night off, and after you won’t have any gold.
Venom: You think you’re so smart. You’re here alone in my gym with the rest of my team in the back ready to strike. I know for a fact the rest of the ICONs aren’t here so...
Venom is stopped mid sentence as he is cracked over the back with a steel chair. The culprit is not a member of the ICONs, but none other than James Raymond’s partner the Mercenary Maverick. Mueller turns to Mav and Mav swings overhead with a shot for Mueller, but he ducks and in one swift motion grabs and throws the hunched over Venom to the mat, rolls him out of the ring, and then slides out himself. Mav stands in the ring holding the chair over his head as security grab Raymond and then more slide in the ring to surround Mav. NAK is escorted away but not before getting their match and the first shot off against the champs.
The lights turn down.... As a ridiculous amount of fog creeps into the arena. As the music of pat benatar fills the ears of the hearing enabled in the arena. Invincible is what Harold campbell believes himself to be.... 20 seconds in and he finally emerges from the fog with his shopping cart of x* crown championships.
"This bloody road remains a mystery
This sudden darkness fills the air
What are we waiting for?
Won't anybody help us?
What are we waiting for?"
The fans are screaming and crying, except no one is sure if that's a good thing, as he pushes his championships down to the ring. Stopping and posing for a few moments. Soaking in the energy and making the fans hearts melt with excitement. He checks his wrist making sure his body is limber and the arthritis isn't bothering him at all.
Venom: Harry is back.
Mueller: But is he Hardcore it is he just Harry.
Venom: Not sure it’ll matter, Mongo isn’t ready for this monster.
Mueller: He might be now that he’s hydrated.[
The lights dim again as "Bad Mongo" by Turbonegro kicks off. The crowd starts booing and as soon as "Mongo" walks out, but then the crowd stops as they realize who "Mongo" is this time. Some of them cheer, some of them still boo, and some start to chant "N-Dub-S!" at "Mongo." Mag- I mean "Mongo" pumps his fists at the crowd and jogs down the stairs from the stage. He smacks some hands on the way down to the ring and then rolls in. "Mongo" get to his feet and begins jumping around to pump up the crowd.
Mueller: Boo! Mongo sucks.
Venom: You’re hurting his feelings.
Mueller: Mongo doesn’t have feelings.
Harry looks down on his smaller foe, the emaciated Magnu... Mongo. Mongo holds up his hands in distress and Harry turns towards the announcers table and yells “this is what you give me” at Venom and Mueller.
Venom: Harry doesn’t look happy with the competition tonight.
Mueller: He wrestles like once a quarter he should just be happy with competition.
Harry turns back to Mongo and is greeted with a European uppercut. Harry is unfazed and palm strikes Mongo in the chest. Mongo grabs his chest, fakes a heart attack and falls to the ground. He lays lifeless and Harry looks at him in confusion, but then steps on his chest and yells at the red to count. The ref counts to three and Harry is moving on to Night of Champions.
Winner and representing GUNS at Night of Champions: Harry
Venom: I think he killed Mongo.
Mueller: That bastard beat me to it!
Venom: Well that’s our show. Thank you for watching the... Hold on... something is going on outside.
*We cut to outside where we see the park across the street from Venom’s gym. A lot of people are gathered around a gazebo with a Night of Champions banner hanging from the top of it. The camera pans over to see a limousine pulling into the parking lot. We then cut to inside the limo. We see Mongo the Destroyer and Bonnie Jenkins. The real Mongo. He’s looking disgusted.*
Mongo: Ugh, even being this close feels wrong. Who scheduled the X*Crown presentation to even be on the GUN Show?
Bonnie: I believe Mueller did in your initiative to try to get him more involved in Commissioning.
Mongo: Let’s just get this over with.
*We cut back to the outside of the limo and see Mongo and Bonnie exit. They walk over to the gazebo. Photographers going crazy with taking photos. Now with a closer look at the gazebo, we see clothed walls on one side of it, assumedly for XHF staff, so now you know where the wrestlers will be entering from. Mongo climbs the steps, waves at a few people, and gets behind the podium set up.*
Mongo: Hello and welcome to the official presentation of the X*Crown contenders for Night of Champions. As you all are aware, the title is vacant as our now former X*Crown champion Michael Storm is in a coma. We send him and his family well wishes in this difficult time.
*The crowd goes silent to pause and reflect on the sacrifice Storm made in order to be champion, even if it was for only a few minutes.*
Mongo: But the show must go on as they say! So I will be officially introducing to you all eight of our competitors, one of whom will become the NEW X*Crown champion! First… the man who is getting his rematch through this match, from AWF, former X*Crown champion, Jack Diamond!
*Jack Diamond emerges from the back out onto the gazeebo and waves.*
Mongo: Next, from RSW, earning his spot in a hell of a triple threat match, Rob Riot!
*Rob comes out onto the gazeebo and stares over the crowd.*
Mongo: Next, from SSS, a woman who fought in a match for over 90 minutes to gain this opportunity, Zolotach!
*Zolotach walks out through one of the cloth walls and someone grabs her from behind and points her in the right direction. She then emerges on the gazeebo.*
Mongo: Next, a man who knocked out his opponent with a log to get this shot, from SBW, Raiden Ishimori!
*Raiden slowly walks out onto the gazeebo and sizes up his opponents that have appeared so far.*
Mongo: Hey, hey, remember to save it for Night of Champions. Next we have the AXW, whom won two slots thanks to a match at Xtraction. First up, a turncoat of sorts, but who am I to judge, right. He handed over another feds title to get here, Jackson Steele!
*Jackson Steele comes out onto the gazeebo and Jack Diamond looks like he’s smelling rotten eggs as he stares him down.*
Mongo: And the other challenger from AXW, a man who postponed his rematch at the AXW world title to fight for the X*Crown, Anomoly!
*Anomoly walks out on stage and looks at all his future opponents. He wipes the dust off his shoulder at them, making them visibly angry.*
Mongo: Next, we have from the GUNS… I don’t know because I wasn’t watching. Where are they.
Mueller: MOVE ASIDE! MOVE ASIDE!
*The crowd parts as Venom, Mueller, and Hardcore Harry are walking through.*
Mongo: Oh no.
*The Guns and Harold climb the steps and stand on stage.*
Venom: It’s our show, of course we get top billing. We just had to wait you out to get it. Our representative! Hardcore Harry everybody!
*Harold walks over to the podium and punches Mongo in the face, sending him down to the floor. Everyone gasps and Venom and Mueller just shrug. What did you expect?*
Harry: That’s for not showing up for our match you piece of shit!
*Harry walks back into the line-up with the rest. Mongo gets up rubbing his jaw.*
Mongo: I don’t know how he keeps failing upward. Ow, damnit. Well, as you know, that’s seven slots, I’m guessing you’re wondering who’s the eighth! Well let me tell you, it’s Night of Champions, I knew we needed to spice it up with a legend. Not just a legend, but a former X*Crown champion as well! So Mueller, if you’ll give me the contract that you needed to write in Harry’s name in when he *sigh* "won," I will now add the last name for all of you to bear witness.
*Mueller pulls a folded up paper out of his back pocket.*
Mongo: Really? You folded up official documents? Have you no civility? All right, well, let me tell you, the eighth entrant, XHF legend Cong—
*Mongo unfolds the paper and his eyes widen.*
Mongo: What is this? The name is already filled in!?
Mueller: As XHF Commissioner, I’m allowed to sign XHF legal documents too. So I already added in the last guy. Ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll look upward…
*Venom lifts a conveniently placed boombox in the air, presses play, and “Jump” by Van Halen starts to play. A dot in the sky looms closer and closer to reveal a person, heading toward the gazebo from up in the sky!? What!? But wait, a parachute unfolds and the person starts to glide down. Upon closer look, the parachute has something written on it. “Novem-Beards, coming to a theater near you.” The person is close enough to reveal that it’s Steve Awesome!
Venom: The eighth man in the X*Crown match! Say it Mongo! Say it because it’s already official!
Mongo: Ugh…the eight participant, former X*Crown champion… Steve Awesome.
Mueller: And movie star! Starring in Novem-Beards! Coming to a theater near you!
*Mueller gives a thumbs up to the side of the gazebo, and Steve Awesome’s agent pops out of the cloth wall to give a thumbs up back. Steve Awesome lands and unbuckles from the harness a few feet away and the reporters are going crazy tacking snap shots as he makes his way to the gazebo steps. The other seven competitors meet him down on the steps and the crowd is now taking photos of the eight competitors.*
Mongo: There you have it folks, your eight participants in the four ring circus for Night of Champions! Coming to you live on the XHF Network on July 29th! Roll that sweet sweet footage again!
*A giant projection screen rises from behind the gazebo and then the NOC commercial starts to play.*
*Fade out.*
Velez: Oh Snoopy you never fail to make me laugh.
Velez looks up and looks surprised to see the cameras. He reaches over and slaps his intercom.
Velez: Why didn’t you tell me the cameras were here for my sexual harassment training video. I’ve been waiting for this all day.
A crackling noise is heard from the intercom and then a voice is heard.
Intercom: They’re not. That’s the GUNS crew. There’s a show tonight and they’re here to watch you again. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this... but your video was cancelled by the new H.R. that was hired by the board of directors.
Velez: What? The board hired someone without me? How could they do that?
The voice on the intercom does not answer. Instead Velez is taken by the appearance of a large man in a three piece suit that has snuck into his office while he was going back-and-forth with his secretary. The man is non other than former XHF Star Mr. X.
Mr. X: Because you’ve taken things to far lately and recorded them for the world to see and they need someone to keep you in check.
Velez grits his teeth as Mr. X laughs and walks out leaving Velez alone and upset.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump and Venom grabs a mic.
Venom: Welcome to the Gun Show!
The crowd pops and Venom lowers the mic with a smirk before motioning them to quiet and continuing.
Venom: Tonight Goldy has issued a challenge to any bears in the building to challenge for his Bear Necessities Championship. He knows no one will have the fur to step up, but he’s here to accept the challenge. We’ll wait as long as we need to.
A few minutes pass and Venom and Mueller both check their wrists like they’re looking at the time, but they’re not wearing watches. Venom lifts the mic again but he is cut off as someone, a group of someone’s actually, appear at the end of the aisle. It’s the same group of “bears” that showed up for the Lumber bear match. They have Magnus with them. Magnus looks thin and exhausted. He’s barely standing on his own. The lead bear takes the lead and steps up with a mic.
Lead bear: We had so much fun last time we thought we’d come back tonight and you’re challenging bears? Well we’ve got the bear for you.
From the middle of the pack walks out a monster of a man wearing pink skinny jeans and an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. He smiles and waves at Venom before running and sliding into the ring. Venom and Mueller look at each other and shrug.
Venom: Okay that works for us.
Venom and Mueller turn to exit the ring and suddenly the mountain of a man realizes he’s in the ring with a live bear and turns to his group looking terrified.
Lead bear: Wait. We thought one of you were Goldy.
Venom: Nope. Goldy is a bear. Ring the bell.
The bell rings and we’re underway. The mountainous bear puts one leg through the ropes to leave but before he can Goldbear II moves in on him and grabs him with his claws by the back of the Hawaiian shirt and rips him back into the ring and flat on his back. All the bears on the outside look shocked and aren’t paying attention allowing JFK to grab Magnus and lead him to the back.
Mueller: Did we just get Magnus back?
Venom: Yes we did.
Mueller: How’d you pull this off?
Venom: I put out a Craigslist ad just like you did and they showed up again.
The bear lays on the mat and Goldbear II goes to stomp on his face but the bear rolls away. Goldbear II goes for another stomp but again the bear rolls away and this time gets to his feet. He stumbles backwards and hits the ropes and runs at Goldbear II and collides with a shoulder block, but Goldbear II doesn’t move. The bear steps back and looks shocked that his giant frame did nothing to Goldbear and in the moment of hesitation Goldbear II swipes and leaves cuts in the chest of the bear. He screams in pain from the attack and Goldbear II grabs him and pulls him into a bear hug. The bear immediately begins screaming that he gives up and Goldbear II throws him down to the ground. He rolls out of the ring and retreats to his friends and the bears exit.
Winner and still Bear Necessities Champion: Goldbear II
Venom and Mueller slide into the ring from the announcers tables and Venom pulls the mic back up.
Venom: That’s it. There’s no more bears for Goldbear II to battle. We may just have to retire the title with Goldy undefeated.
Mecha-Gold-bear III: I love you.
Just then Mecha-Gold-bear III appears at the end of the aisle. He’s alone for some reason. His eyes turn red.
Mecha-Goldbear: DESTROY!
Venom: Whoa whoa whoa. You want another shot at Goldbear II you can have it, but it won’t happen tonight. It will have to wait until week of Champions.
Mecha-Gold-bear III: I love you.
Venom: There you have it folks, Goldbear II will take on Mecha-Goldbear at the Guns week of Champions Show!
*We see Evil-Borg riding on the back of Mecha Gold-Bear III, popping the cap off a Hyper Beer bottle using the ear of Mecha Gold-Bear III. The camera pulls out to reveal Heavy-Metal walking alongside the giant robo-bear on the outside perimeter of Venom’s gym.*
: Mwua ha ha! The next step is set! When Mecha Gold-Bear III wins the Bear Necessities Title at Night of Champions, we will have everything we need to re-set the timeline and bring about …THE AFTERWARD!
: NOT ON OUR WATCH!
: Say what? Who dares!?
*The Borgs look up and see the Trons all standing on the roof of the gym. Shogun, Saber, Nano, and the rest! Heavy points at them.*
: WHOOOOOP!
: But I just opened this! Oh, fine.
*Evil Borg throws the Hyper Beer bottle at the Trons, but it goes maybe halfway up the wall before gravity brings the bottle crashing to the sidewalk.*
: I meant to do that!
: And we mean to jump down there and defeat you!
: Hell naw, uh-uh! You’re on your own there pal.
*Nano walks away from the ledge of the roof. Shogun and Saber look over the edge and then look at each other.*
: Well… we would, but we forgot our anti-gravity boots! Otherwise, you would get such a beating!
: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Well… we would just jump up there, but we also forgot our anti-gravity boots!
: Do you wish me to fly up there master?
: Shhh. No, stay grounded. You will not stop us before we take back this timeline at Night of Champions!
: Well…then… at GUNS Week of Gold show, probably to be officially named later, we challenge you! We will stop you from bringing about your evil …THE AFTERWARD… and instead bring about the prosperity of …THE FUTURE! And we will remove you Borgs by blasting you out of this timeline in a Space Pod match!
: How dare you! What do you think Heavy?
: Woop, ooop, woooop. Whoooop wooop oooop whooooop.
: I concur. We accept your challenge! We will be the ones who send you blasting off through time!
: We’ll see about that!
: We will!
…
: We’re leaving now!
: Good!
: Good!
*The Trons all take fancy poses, except Nano who left. The Borgs back away slowly as the Trons stay in there poses, unmoving.*
*The lights go down as the tron lights up with a promo video:*
*After the video finishes, the crowd cheers and even a "N-O-C" chant tries to start but doesn't quite get there. Even how, the fans are hyped as heck*
We open up on James Mueller standing backstage.
James Mueller: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I’m here to introduce the world premiere of XHF legend Steve Awesome’s latest movie trailer. So let’s bring out the man himself to get a few words about it.
Mueller touches his ear piece.
James Mueller: Oh okay, I’m being told Steve Awesome is actually not here. I guess he’s way to busy to be at his own trailer premier. But I got his agent here to set the scene.
The agent walks onto the set next to Mueller carrying a briefcase that he hands to Mueller who doesn’t quite seem sure he knows what it is.
Steve’s Agent: This Movie was written, directed, starred in and produced by my client Steve Awesome. He’s worked really hard to bring this trailer and it’s movie to all of you. We hope you enjoy it.
The agent starts talking to Mueller as the trailer begins.
—-
“Jack Globen was your basic average guy.”
The scene shows Steve Awesome, portraying the role of Jack Globen, with a clean shaven face and dressed in untrendy ripped clothing. An old man in a Maga hat is yelling at jack in the door way of jacks apartment.
Landlord: “You are two months behind on rent Globen!”
Jack Globen: I-I know. Times have b-been rough Mr. Ogilvy. I-I-I’m having trouble getting the money.
A timid and nervous Jack replies.
Landlord: If I don’t have the last two months rent and THIS months rent on my desk in five days, you are out on your ass, Globen.
Jack Globen: Y-Yes sir.
The landlord slams Jacks door in his face.
——
Jack is standing in line in Starbucks dressed in some lame plaid design business attire from Kohl’s. He finally gets into the front of the line and a sexy and beautiful Latin barista is at the counter. She wore a lot of makeup and wore fancy clothes.
Jack Globen: Hi, Carmen.
He chuckles nervously to himself, he already starts to blush as she looks at him.
Carmen: Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?
Jack took a deep breath.
Jack Globen: Okay here it goes. Carmen, I’ve been getting to know you more and more as I’ve been coming to this Starbucks and well, I was hoping you’d be my girlfriend.
Jack pours his heart out and Carmen just stares at him in confusion.
Carmen: Um...who are you?
Jack Globen: Um….its uhhh...it’s me Jack…
Jack explains, while struggling not to break down in tears.
Jack Globen: We talk every morning…
Carmen: Oh right, right. Look, I don’t date co-workers, so goodbye…”
She smiles and walks off.
Jack Globen: But I don’t work here…
——
Lucy: So how was your morning Jack?
Lucy shared a cubicle with Jack at the office. She was pretty, but didn’t care to be as done up as other girls. Jack doesn’t notice Lucy smiling at him and biting her lip as she looked at him.
Jack Globen: It was terrible Luce, Carmen doesn’t even know who I am. I struck out again.”
Lucy: Well maybe you and I could go out some-
Just then the boss, Mr. Furlap, pokes his head into the cubicle.
Mr. Furlap: Hey Globen, can I see you in my office?
——
Mr. Furlap: Say Pal...I’ve been noticing you haven’t been making many sales. I’m going to need you to start making some sales.
Inside the bosses office, Jack nervously starts nodding his head. He’s already sweating profusely.
Jack Globen: Yes sir. I-I-know sir. I’ll try harder sir.
Mr. Furlap: Good thing, because if you don’t start making sales, I’m gonna have to fire your ass!”
Mr. Furlap notices how bad Jack is sweating.
Mr. Furlap: And wipe down that chair on your way out.
Jack Globen: Yes sir.
——
“Until one day, his whole life changed.”
Jack is driving down the street and he spots a shady warehouse with a sign that says “big $$$ for science experiment”
Jack Globen: Well...I guess I can’t do much worse in life.
He quickly turns into the empty parking lot as it starts to rain.
——
Jack is being handed an unlabeled squeeze tube by two men dressed in lab coats. They both have long luxurious beards down to their waist.
Scientist 1: It’s a special beard growing ointment for your face.
Jack Globen: Where else could you grow a beard?
Both the scientists look visibly annoyed. The second scientists aggressively hands him some money.
——
The next morning the landlord is banging on Jacks apartment door. Jack is hurrying through the house trying to get to the door.
Landlord: I changed my mind Globen!!
He bangs on the door.
Landlord: I want my money TODA-
Jack finally opens the door and the landlord is absolutely stunned.
Landlord: saaayyyyy, that’s a great looking beard, Globen.
Jack Globen: Huh?
He glances at the mirror near his door, and sure enough there was small beard fully grown on his face.
Landlord: look, if you need more time to get your rent money together, I understand. Just you know, get it to me when you got it, friend.
The landlord smiles and shakes Jacks hand. Jack is shocked.
——
Jack gets to the front of the line at Starbucks. Where Carmen was staring at her phone.
Jack Globen: Can I get one coffee with-
Carmen: Ohh. I like your beard! Jack right?
Jack Globen: You remembered who I was.
Jack was stunned by the idea as Carmen nodded. She then reached forward and started to make out with him passionately. After she was done Jack felt something weird in his mouth and reached in and pulls out a small folded piece of paper with Carmen’s number on it.
Carmen: Call me, sexy.
—-
Jack Globen: What!? You’ll buy?
Jack is on the phone at work. He listens to the customer on the phone in amazement.
Customer: I can tell over the phone that you have a very good beard. So I will buy a hundred thousand dollars worth of product!
Jack just fients from shear shock.
——
“But did it change his life in a good way? Or a bad way?”
Lucy: Jack, ever since you grew that beard you’ve become a huge asshole!
You hear Lucy’s voice over a montage of Jack and Carmen speeding down the road in a drop top convertible, laughing and counting money. They don’t even notice splashing a bunch of mud on a homeless guy.
Lucy: You need to stop going to that science lab.
Jack is combing his luscious beard in a mirror inside his new giant mansion when he suddenly stops and glares to the side.
Jack Globen: How do you know about the science lab!? Lucy, have you been following me!?”
Lucy tries to act innocent but she can’t hide the stubble and the patches of beard she keeps trying to shave off.
Lucy: I’m worried about you Jack! Your addicted to the beard, Jack.
Jack Globen: I’m not addicted I can shave it any time I want!
——
Jack is in the mirror holding a beard trimmer in his right hand.
Jack Globen: So long sweet beard...You’ve served me well.
The beard trimmer buzzed as he slowly brought it toward his face. Just before the trimmer touched the hair, his left hand snapped to life and gripped his right hand around the wrist, stopping the trimmer.
“Jack Globen”: You can’t shave me Jack. I gave you everything!
Jack seemed to say, except his voice was course and jagged.
Jack Globen: W-w-what!?
The left hand forced the right hand and the trimmer away from the face and the beard.
“Jack Globen”: That’s right Jack, I’m your beard. And I’m taking over!
Jack gasps in fear.
——
“Novem-Beards”
Starring Steve Awesome.
Coming to a theatre near you!
——
James Mueller: Wow That is a lot of money!
Mueller realizes the cameras were on and rolling and quickly snap shuts the briefcase.
James Mueller: Oh Uh...what a trailer. I know what I’m seeing. I already smell oscars.
Mueller leans in toward Steve Awesome’s Agent.
James Mueller: I think we can make this work.
Steve’s Agent: Great. I’ll let him know.
The agent walks off leaving the briefcase with James.
James Mueller: So go see that movie when it comes out. It’s going to make someone a lot of money…
He pats the briefcase as he walks off.
James Mueller is backstage with his good friend and former partner in No Warning Shot Magnus. Magnus is downing a gallon of water as Mueller sits next to him with his arm around his shoulder.
Mueller: I’m sorry this happened to you Mags, but we’ve got you now. I don’t even want to think about what those bears did to you, but it won’t happen again.
Magnus: It was terrible. I’ll never forget the torture they put me trough.
Mueller: It’s okay, we don’t want to know what kind of sick sex acts they made you perform.
Magnus: Sex acts? They didn’t make me have sex. They made me go to different gay clubs, pretend to be their boyfriend to make their exes jealous, and made me dance all night every night. I’m so dehydrated from all the dancing and my feet are blistered and calloused. They look like something you accidentally find on the internet when you type in the wrong word while looking for porn.
Mueller: So all they made you do was dance?
Magnus: All night every night until I could t move.
Mueller: Oh, well that makes it easier to tell you that you have to wear this mask again and get in the ring with Hardcore Harry for me tonight.
: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
We cut back to the arena.
The lights to the gym shut off and the crowd begins to get on their feet in anticipation. The projection lights up on the main stage, showing the skyline of Atlanta and Ennio Morricone's "Ecstacy of Gold" begins to pour out of the gym speakers. Shots of Goldbear II trying to feast on salmon and cowboys riding horseback through the American West fill the projection. The crowd begins to sing with the music cheer for Goldbear II's appearances on the big screen. The final shot of "Ecstacy of Gold" has Goldbear catching and devouring a salmon in his mouth. Crowd massive pops for their favorite carnivore.
A lone harmonica for "Man with a Harmonica," by Morricone as well, begins to play while showing Goldbear II dining on a bloody feast of salmon. As the harmonica begins to the pick up and is accompanied by an electric guitar, Venom is shown in the video, and then James Mueller, and even Charlie Velez. It cuts back to Goldbear II and then action shots of Venom, Mueller and Velez. Eventually the song breaks down and goes right into "Out of the Black" by Royal Blood. More action shots of the Guns are shown before "THE YOUNG GUNS" come up in text on the projection. The "Young" flickers off and it now reads "THE GUNS."
The crowd pops as Venom and Mueller walk out in front of the projection and onto the main stage. The lights flash with every drum pop in the song. Both men look amped to be here and begin to walk down to the ring. Behind them on the main stage, Goldbear II comes out, dick and balls exposed, to the delight of every fan in attendance and watching at home. Mueller jogs up the stairs to the corner of the ring and pauses on the apron. He sways a little as he approaches the middle of the apron, one hand on the top rope. He leans towards the crowd, looks out, shakes his head at them with a smirk on his face, and then throws himself through the middle ropes on his feet. He spins around on his feet with his arms out to bit of nostalgic cheer. He jerks his arms to his sides and then calms himself down. Venom gets up to his feet and begins walking towards the ring and stops in front of the ring and looks from left to right with his hood still on and then enters the ring. Venom walks to the stairs with Goldbear II close behind walks up the stairs and across the ring apron to the middle. He and Goldbear enter the ring one at a time and walk to the center where he drops to one knee again and points to the sky. Venom and Mueller both meet up in the ring with a fist bump. Venom and Mueller stand in the ring with the XHF Tag Team Championships raised high overhead. The crowd cheers their champions and as the crowd quiets down they each lower their respective belts into their shoulder and left their mics.
Mueller: Many have doubted us.
Venom: Many thought we’d fail.
Mueller: But here we stand, still, your XHF Tag Team Champions.
Venom: We’ve done it. We’ve beaten them all. There’s no one left worth fighting.
Mueller: We climbed to the top of the mountain and then kicked everyone down as they tried to climb up.
Venom: That’s why at Night of Champions by order of the XHF Commish here, the Guns will...
Mueller: Take a well deserved night off!
Venom and Mueller laugh as they make the announcement.
Mueller: Since we have technically already defended these titles this month we can wait and defend them next on a special post NoC Gun Show where the Guns will take on all comers.
Venom: That we book to face us.
The laughter starts up again, but soon they are cut off by a voice over the mic and the appearance of one James Raymond at the end of the aisle.
Raymond: Hold it one second their boys.
Venom: What is this? How do people keep getting in here and who keeps giving them live mics. SECURITY!
Raymond: You can call security all you want, but it won’t change the fact that I went over your head and got you two in a match at Night of Champions. So you won’t have the night off, and after you won’t have any gold.
Venom: You think you’re so smart. You’re here alone in my gym with the rest of my team in the back ready to strike. I know for a fact the rest of the ICONs aren’t here so...
Venom is stopped mid sentence as he is cracked over the back with a steel chair. The culprit is not a member of the ICONs, but none other than James Raymond’s partner the Mercenary Maverick. Mueller turns to Mav and Mav swings overhead with a shot for Mueller, but he ducks and in one swift motion grabs and throws the hunched over Venom to the mat, rolls him out of the ring, and then slides out himself. Mav stands in the ring holding the chair over his head as security grab Raymond and then more slide in the ring to surround Mav. NAK is escorted away but not before getting their match and the first shot off against the champs.
The lights turn down.... As a ridiculous amount of fog creeps into the arena. As the music of pat benatar fills the ears of the hearing enabled in the arena. Invincible is what Harold campbell believes himself to be.... 20 seconds in and he finally emerges from the fog with his shopping cart of x* crown championships.
"This bloody road remains a mystery
This sudden darkness fills the air
What are we waiting for?
Won't anybody help us?
What are we waiting for?"
The fans are screaming and crying, except no one is sure if that's a good thing, as he pushes his championships down to the ring. Stopping and posing for a few moments. Soaking in the energy and making the fans hearts melt with excitement. He checks his wrist making sure his body is limber and the arthritis isn't bothering him at all.
Venom: Harry is back.
Mueller: But is he Hardcore it is he just Harry.
Venom: Not sure it’ll matter, Mongo isn’t ready for this monster.
Mueller: He might be now that he’s hydrated.[
The lights dim again as "Bad Mongo" by Turbonegro kicks off. The crowd starts booing and as soon as "Mongo" walks out, but then the crowd stops as they realize who "Mongo" is this time. Some of them cheer, some of them still boo, and some start to chant "N-Dub-S!" at "Mongo." Mag- I mean "Mongo" pumps his fists at the crowd and jogs down the stairs from the stage. He smacks some hands on the way down to the ring and then rolls in. "Mongo" get to his feet and begins jumping around to pump up the crowd.
Mueller: Boo! Mongo sucks.
Venom: You’re hurting his feelings.
Mueller: Mongo doesn’t have feelings.
Harry looks down on his smaller foe, the emaciated Magnu... Mongo. Mongo holds up his hands in distress and Harry turns towards the announcers table and yells “this is what you give me” at Venom and Mueller.
Venom: Harry doesn’t look happy with the competition tonight.
Mueller: He wrestles like once a quarter he should just be happy with competition.
Harry turns back to Mongo and is greeted with a European uppercut. Harry is unfazed and palm strikes Mongo in the chest. Mongo grabs his chest, fakes a heart attack and falls to the ground. He lays lifeless and Harry looks at him in confusion, but then steps on his chest and yells at the red to count. The ref counts to three and Harry is moving on to Night of Champions.
Winner and representing GUNS at Night of Champions: Harry
Venom: I think he killed Mongo.
Mueller: That bastard beat me to it!
Venom: Well that’s our show. Thank you for watching the... Hold on... something is going on outside.
*We cut to outside where we see the park across the street from Venom’s gym. A lot of people are gathered around a gazebo with a Night of Champions banner hanging from the top of it. The camera pans over to see a limousine pulling into the parking lot. We then cut to inside the limo. We see Mongo the Destroyer and Bonnie Jenkins. The real Mongo. He’s looking disgusted.*
Mongo: Ugh, even being this close feels wrong. Who scheduled the X*Crown presentation to even be on the GUN Show?
Bonnie: I believe Mueller did in your initiative to try to get him more involved in Commissioning.
Mongo: Let’s just get this over with.
*We cut back to the outside of the limo and see Mongo and Bonnie exit. They walk over to the gazebo. Photographers going crazy with taking photos. Now with a closer look at the gazebo, we see clothed walls on one side of it, assumedly for XHF staff, so now you know where the wrestlers will be entering from. Mongo climbs the steps, waves at a few people, and gets behind the podium set up.*
Mongo: Hello and welcome to the official presentation of the X*Crown contenders for Night of Champions. As you all are aware, the title is vacant as our now former X*Crown champion Michael Storm is in a coma. We send him and his family well wishes in this difficult time.
*The crowd goes silent to pause and reflect on the sacrifice Storm made in order to be champion, even if it was for only a few minutes.*
Mongo: But the show must go on as they say! So I will be officially introducing to you all eight of our competitors, one of whom will become the NEW X*Crown champion! First… the man who is getting his rematch through this match, from AWF, former X*Crown champion, Jack Diamond!
*Jack Diamond emerges from the back out onto the gazeebo and waves.*
Mongo: Next, from RSW, earning his spot in a hell of a triple threat match, Rob Riot!
*Rob comes out onto the gazeebo and stares over the crowd.*
Mongo: Next, from SSS, a woman who fought in a match for over 90 minutes to gain this opportunity, Zolotach!
*Zolotach walks out through one of the cloth walls and someone grabs her from behind and points her in the right direction. She then emerges on the gazeebo.*
Mongo: Next, a man who knocked out his opponent with a log to get this shot, from SBW, Raiden Ishimori!
*Raiden slowly walks out onto the gazeebo and sizes up his opponents that have appeared so far.*
Mongo: Hey, hey, remember to save it for Night of Champions. Next we have the AXW, whom won two slots thanks to a match at Xtraction. First up, a turncoat of sorts, but who am I to judge, right. He handed over another feds title to get here, Jackson Steele!
*Jackson Steele comes out onto the gazeebo and Jack Diamond looks like he’s smelling rotten eggs as he stares him down.*
Mongo: And the other challenger from AXW, a man who postponed his rematch at the AXW world title to fight for the X*Crown, Anomoly!
*Anomoly walks out on stage and looks at all his future opponents. He wipes the dust off his shoulder at them, making them visibly angry.*
Mongo: Next, we have from the GUNS… I don’t know because I wasn’t watching. Where are they.
Mueller: MOVE ASIDE! MOVE ASIDE!
*The crowd parts as Venom, Mueller, and Hardcore Harry are walking through.*
Mongo: Oh no.
*The Guns and Harold climb the steps and stand on stage.*
Venom: It’s our show, of course we get top billing. We just had to wait you out to get it. Our representative! Hardcore Harry everybody!
*Harold walks over to the podium and punches Mongo in the face, sending him down to the floor. Everyone gasps and Venom and Mueller just shrug. What did you expect?*
Harry: That’s for not showing up for our match you piece of shit!
*Harry walks back into the line-up with the rest. Mongo gets up rubbing his jaw.*
Mongo: I don’t know how he keeps failing upward. Ow, damnit. Well, as you know, that’s seven slots, I’m guessing you’re wondering who’s the eighth! Well let me tell you, it’s Night of Champions, I knew we needed to spice it up with a legend. Not just a legend, but a former X*Crown champion as well! So Mueller, if you’ll give me the contract that you needed to write in Harry’s name in when he *sigh* "won," I will now add the last name for all of you to bear witness.
*Mueller pulls a folded up paper out of his back pocket.*
Mongo: Really? You folded up official documents? Have you no civility? All right, well, let me tell you, the eighth entrant, XHF legend Cong—
*Mongo unfolds the paper and his eyes widen.*
Mongo: What is this? The name is already filled in!?
Mueller: As XHF Commissioner, I’m allowed to sign XHF legal documents too. So I already added in the last guy. Ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll look upward…
*Venom lifts a conveniently placed boombox in the air, presses play, and “Jump” by Van Halen starts to play. A dot in the sky looms closer and closer to reveal a person, heading toward the gazebo from up in the sky!? What!? But wait, a parachute unfolds and the person starts to glide down. Upon closer look, the parachute has something written on it. “Novem-Beards, coming to a theater near you.” The person is close enough to reveal that it’s Steve Awesome!
Venom: The eighth man in the X*Crown match! Say it Mongo! Say it because it’s already official!
Mongo: Ugh…the eight participant, former X*Crown champion… Steve Awesome.
Mueller: And movie star! Starring in Novem-Beards! Coming to a theater near you!
*Mueller gives a thumbs up to the side of the gazebo, and Steve Awesome’s agent pops out of the cloth wall to give a thumbs up back. Steve Awesome lands and unbuckles from the harness a few feet away and the reporters are going crazy tacking snap shots as he makes his way to the gazebo steps. The other seven competitors meet him down on the steps and the crowd is now taking photos of the eight competitors.*
Mongo: There you have it folks, your eight participants in the four ring circus for Night of Champions! Coming to you live on the XHF Network on July 29th! Roll that sweet sweet footage again!
*A giant projection screen rises from behind the gazebo and then the NOC commercial starts to play.*
*Fade out.*