Post by SWAT Team on Mar 12, 2019 1:42:27 GMT -5
Get Free by The Vines blares and we see the RIO Olympic Stadium with a wrestling ring in it and surrounded by seats all over the rest of the track, the shot switches to the SWAT Tron where we see footage of past SWAT Legends ; Adrian Tanner Jr, Sly Fondell, Domino, Dracon Xanathos, CK Panik, Nick Collyer, Rage Sadler, Lonewolf McNeely, Rockin Rick Owen, Lucifer Jones, Reverand Cornelius Marsh, Ignacious Conner, Syberus, Adam Haven, Adam Plummer, Lynn Brewster, Alice, Kaycee Tanner, Jace Mingla, Jade, Triple B, Dan Stein, Big Stan Wilson, Bruno, James Fierce, Slow motion shot of Deja Vu being unmasked as Dracon, Genity Howard, Microshocker, then freezes on Reginald P Packer. The crowd applauding and showing respect.
Jeremy Tucker : Man o man! SWAT Fans, wrestling fans, WE_ARE_BACK!
Andrew Fulton : About god damn time, I was out of cash 4 years ago and my back is completely stuffed from that crappy couch in your basement Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker : Ill burn it along with anything of yours still there by midnight tomorrow.
Andrew Fulton : Always with the drama and over exaggeration Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker : What a trip down memory lane there all of them great SWAT Superstars.
Andrew Fulton : Damn near brings a tear to my eye, and, our members Tucker, if you had not forgotten, are WRESTLERS! Not superstars. Not sports entertainers. WRESTLERS!
Jeremy Tucker : That they are. Tonight fans, we have 5 singles matches, the winners of all them matches progressing to the main event in which the winner will cement a position in the World Title Match, whenever that may be.
Andrew Fulton : Also tonight, we will see the debut of Suits Suite! A segment where I am sure the SWAT brass will have spared no expense for a couch much better than the one you have had me sleeping on the past 4 years Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker : I am informed he will be having a special guest on the show, and they will be making a HUGE announcement.
Andrew Fulton : Ohhh, you mean the
Jeremy Tucker : Zip it Fulton!
Method Man I Came To Bring The Pain hits and Bruno slow walks down the ramp high fiving the fans with pyros going off. He steps over the top rope and starts stretching, when from the crowd we see an Indian Taxi Driver causing a commotion at the safety rail, he somehow makes it over the rail and into the ring yelling.
Taxi Driver : TAXI!! Who ordered the taxi?
Bruno (snatching the mic from Ring announcer Frank Salazar) : Yo Dog. We are trying to put on a show here, taxi rank is out the front.
Taxi Driver : And I am trying to do a job, your show is somehow more important than my job? Am I supposed to pick u .
WHAM! Bruno with a big boot to the taxi driver sends him flying over the top rope where he is surrounded by security.
Bruno : Taxi rank, is that_way!
Security usher the Indian up the ramp and he is pointing at Bruno screaming in a heavy Indian accent You have not seen the last of me
Andrew Fulton : Only in SWAT.
"Dogsong" by Mr. Feral (YT Link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2fY1zOkfbQ) hits and Kilroy Evans enthusiastically walks out from the back. He walks calmly to the ring, interacting with the fans, and taking his time to enjoy the trip.
Jeremy Tucker : And we are under way folks with our first match of the evening, Kilroy and Buno lock up, and the Compton Colossus powers Kilroy into the corner, a clean break. They hook up again and Kilroy starts biting Bruno.
Andrew Fulton : Kilroy must have been on a diet of no human flesh during the break, cause he is knawing into Bruno like he has been slow cooked for a day!
Jeremy Tucker : Bruno throws Kilroy half way across the ring, looks at his arm and snarls in anger, then collects Kilroy with big boot to the face, sending him topling out of the ring. Bruno loves the big Boot!
Andrew Fulton ; That Indian cabbie copped one earlier, hahaha, what was with_that?
Jeremy Tucker : I got no idea.
Andrew Fulton : Who would of thought, even in RIO, they have Indian Taxi Drivers.
Kilroy makes his way back in to the ring.
Gut wrench suplex from Bruno.
Covers for a 2 count.
Kilroy delivers a belly to belly suplex to the big man, then a swinging neck breaker.
Kilroy with an underhook facebuster. He covers for a two count, Bruino kicks out with authority.[/i]
Jeremy Tucker : Big kick out from Bruno.
Bruno with a gut buster, then a bulldog. He goes for a right hand, but Kilroy evades it, another shot and Kilroy evades this one also. Bruno goes to hook up and Kilroy ducks under it and then lands Bruno with a belly to back suplex.
Kilroy with an inverted Russian legsweep. Then a underhook facebreaker.
Kilroy fakes a headbutt and bites Brunos nose instead when he flinches.
Kilroy fakes like he's going for an Irish whip, but doesn't let go and instead short arms the opponent into a lunging headbutt.
Bruno is wonky, WHAM! Bad Touch (Diamond Cutter)
Kilroy covers, 1 2 .3!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Kilroy seized on the dazed Bruno in a heart beat!
Kilroy shakes hands with Bruno and the cameras pick up on him complimenting him before saying he needed to make an announcement. Kilroy grabs a mic while Bruno leaves and everyone has a general air of mild confusion.
Kilroy Evans: That was an awesome match and I'm proud that that was my return match. Give it up for Bruno! He hasn't lost a step!
The crowd pops for both Bruno and Kilroy's good sportsmanship. He smiles, but looks a little downcast as he continues.
Kilroy Evans: You know, I really thought Bruno would do it. I mean, on the short list of people it could've happened against, Bruno was definitely near the top.
More confused buzzing from the audience as no one knows what he means.
Kilroy Evans: So that can only mean...the search continues!
Kilroy smiles slyly at the crowd and locks eyes with the nearest camera briefly.
Kilroy Evans: I might've started in the middle of that conversation. Lemme back up a bit. See, before SWAT came roaring back, I turned 40 this year.
The crowd gives a short pop. Someone yells out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Kilroy points in their direction.
Kilroy Evans: Yeah, I did it! Didn't die for a whole 'nother year! But, uh, with that happening, and my deciding to come out of retirement...I kinda had a realization. Considering my age and my...
Kilroy looks out at the crowd and half-shrugs.
Kilroy Evans: ...can you call it a style? Considering how I conduct myself in the ring. And out of the ring. And backstage. And in the parking lot. *pause* Anyway, let's face it: with the way I do things, who knows how much longer I've got left? I mean, I've been pretty indestructible so far, but I am, technically, mortal.
The fans boo this idea.
Kilroy Evans: Yeah, I know. Good thing practically all of the awesomely terrible things I've done are on video! So I kinda hinted earlier on, but I knew that if I was coming back into the fold, I wanted to make this run---potentially my last one---special. It needs to not waste anyone's time and have the highest stakes possible.
Kilroy stops and smiles and improbably large and toothy smile.
Kilroy Evans: And boy, did I figure out how to make that happen! You wanna know the big, dumb plan?!
The crowd pops wildly for Kilroy's big, dumb plan.
Kilroy Evans: Thank you! I even made a special "commercial" for it and paid for ad time. So if the production people could please go ahead and run that for me now, I'd be mighty grateful!
[The shot fades out and then fades in to Kilroy standing in his White Room, wearing a red smoking jacket over his usual attire. Soothing classical music plays in the background as he speaks in a soothing monotone.]
Kilroy Evans: Hello, I'm Kilroy Evans. I've wrestled all over the world and in practically every type of match there is.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy standing by a large bank of monitors playing a lot of his greatest, most daring moments. Many of them are graphically bloody or him jumping off of places he shouldn't, like his infamous elbow drop into the live stage light that eletrocuted him.]
Kilroy Evans: I developed a reputation of perseverence and unparalleled toughness from bell to bell.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy sitting at an ornate desk, various titles piled up on it. Proinently displayed is the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and tag titles.]
Kilroy Evans: I've won titles.
[The shot cuts to a quick montage of him facing off against a plethora of prominent wrestlers. A shot of him choking Soutter seems to linger a little longer than the rest.]
Kilroy Evans: *voice over* Stood up to every challenge and challenger.
[The shot cuts again to another montage. This time of a seemingly non-stop parade of Kilroy delivering The Bad Touch to his opponents that ends with him celebrating in various crowds at events.]
Kilroy Evans: *voice over* And won the acceptance and respect of fans worldwide.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy sitting in an ornate sitting room, surrounded by the memoribilia he showed off earlier hanging on the wall. He's sitting in a large chair and still in the smoking jacket.]
Kilroy Evans: And now...I offer everyone the chance...
[The shot cuts to an extreme close-up of Kilroy's dispassionate face.]
Kilroy Evans: ...and I mean EVERYONE...
[The shot cuts back.]
Kilroy Evans: ...to try and take that glory for themselves. I am now out of retirement, and I'm challenging anyone who wants to try to put me back into retirement. For good!
[Kilroy pounds his fists onto the arms of the chair he's in and stands up with an intense look in his eye. The music shifts from soothing classical to the chorus of Beethoven's Ode To Joy. If you're having trouble placing it, you'd probably remember it from the Die Hard trailer. Kilroy's monotone shifts into a passionte yell.]
Kilroy Evans: If you want to add one hell of an achievement to your career...if you think you're ready to send me out to pasture for last time...if you're good enough, smart enough, and if you've got the GUTS!
[The shot cuts to a close-up as Kilroy glares into the camera menacingly and points to the audience.]
Kilroy Evans: Then you bring your A-game, come find ME, and see if YOU can end Kilroy Evans' career!
[The shot cuts back to the sitting room as Kilroy sits back down in the chair. Only now the sitting room is completely on fire. Kilroy looks entirely nonplussed as the shot fades out and back into Kilroy in the ring. The fans are making a lot of noise with a very mixed reaction to what they've seen.]
Kilroy Evans: I can't leave this business under my own power, people! So I'm challenging anybody and everybody to make me stay retired. No one's getting a free pass, either! If you step up and try me, it might not be my career ending that night. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go back and check my phone and talk to a lot of angry, surprised friends and family. I'll probably be having a chat with management, too. I told literally NOBODY that I was doing this. Have a good night!
[Kilroy leaves happily to "Dogsong" by Mr. Feral]
Jeremy Tucker : Man o man! SWAT Fans, wrestling fans, WE_ARE_BACK!
Andrew Fulton : About god damn time, I was out of cash 4 years ago and my back is completely stuffed from that crappy couch in your basement Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker : Ill burn it along with anything of yours still there by midnight tomorrow.
Andrew Fulton : Always with the drama and over exaggeration Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker : What a trip down memory lane there all of them great SWAT Superstars.
Andrew Fulton : Damn near brings a tear to my eye, and, our members Tucker, if you had not forgotten, are WRESTLERS! Not superstars. Not sports entertainers. WRESTLERS!
Jeremy Tucker : That they are. Tonight fans, we have 5 singles matches, the winners of all them matches progressing to the main event in which the winner will cement a position in the World Title Match, whenever that may be.
Andrew Fulton : Also tonight, we will see the debut of Suits Suite! A segment where I am sure the SWAT brass will have spared no expense for a couch much better than the one you have had me sleeping on the past 4 years Tucker.
Jeremy Tucker : I am informed he will be having a special guest on the show, and they will be making a HUGE announcement.
Andrew Fulton : Ohhh, you mean the
Jeremy Tucker : Zip it Fulton!
Method Man I Came To Bring The Pain hits and Bruno slow walks down the ramp high fiving the fans with pyros going off. He steps over the top rope and starts stretching, when from the crowd we see an Indian Taxi Driver causing a commotion at the safety rail, he somehow makes it over the rail and into the ring yelling.
Taxi Driver : TAXI!! Who ordered the taxi?
Bruno (snatching the mic from Ring announcer Frank Salazar) : Yo Dog. We are trying to put on a show here, taxi rank is out the front.
Taxi Driver : And I am trying to do a job, your show is somehow more important than my job? Am I supposed to pick u .
WHAM! Bruno with a big boot to the taxi driver sends him flying over the top rope where he is surrounded by security.
Bruno : Taxi rank, is that_way!
Security usher the Indian up the ramp and he is pointing at Bruno screaming in a heavy Indian accent You have not seen the last of me
Andrew Fulton : Only in SWAT.
"Dogsong" by Mr. Feral (YT Link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2fY1zOkfbQ) hits and Kilroy Evans enthusiastically walks out from the back. He walks calmly to the ring, interacting with the fans, and taking his time to enjoy the trip.
Jeremy Tucker : And we are under way folks with our first match of the evening, Kilroy and Buno lock up, and the Compton Colossus powers Kilroy into the corner, a clean break. They hook up again and Kilroy starts biting Bruno.
Andrew Fulton : Kilroy must have been on a diet of no human flesh during the break, cause he is knawing into Bruno like he has been slow cooked for a day!
Jeremy Tucker : Bruno throws Kilroy half way across the ring, looks at his arm and snarls in anger, then collects Kilroy with big boot to the face, sending him topling out of the ring. Bruno loves the big Boot!
Andrew Fulton ; That Indian cabbie copped one earlier, hahaha, what was with_that?
Jeremy Tucker : I got no idea.
Andrew Fulton : Who would of thought, even in RIO, they have Indian Taxi Drivers.
Kilroy makes his way back in to the ring.
Gut wrench suplex from Bruno.
Covers for a 2 count.
Kilroy delivers a belly to belly suplex to the big man, then a swinging neck breaker.
Kilroy with an underhook facebuster. He covers for a two count, Bruino kicks out with authority.[/i]
Jeremy Tucker : Big kick out from Bruno.
Bruno with a gut buster, then a bulldog. He goes for a right hand, but Kilroy evades it, another shot and Kilroy evades this one also. Bruno goes to hook up and Kilroy ducks under it and then lands Bruno with a belly to back suplex.
Kilroy with an inverted Russian legsweep. Then a underhook facebreaker.
Kilroy fakes a headbutt and bites Brunos nose instead when he flinches.
Kilroy fakes like he's going for an Irish whip, but doesn't let go and instead short arms the opponent into a lunging headbutt.
Bruno is wonky, WHAM! Bad Touch (Diamond Cutter)
Kilroy covers, 1 2 .3!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Kilroy seized on the dazed Bruno in a heart beat!
Kilroy shakes hands with Bruno and the cameras pick up on him complimenting him before saying he needed to make an announcement. Kilroy grabs a mic while Bruno leaves and everyone has a general air of mild confusion.
Kilroy Evans: That was an awesome match and I'm proud that that was my return match. Give it up for Bruno! He hasn't lost a step!
The crowd pops for both Bruno and Kilroy's good sportsmanship. He smiles, but looks a little downcast as he continues.
Kilroy Evans: You know, I really thought Bruno would do it. I mean, on the short list of people it could've happened against, Bruno was definitely near the top.
More confused buzzing from the audience as no one knows what he means.
Kilroy Evans: So that can only mean...the search continues!
Kilroy smiles slyly at the crowd and locks eyes with the nearest camera briefly.
Kilroy Evans: I might've started in the middle of that conversation. Lemme back up a bit. See, before SWAT came roaring back, I turned 40 this year.
The crowd gives a short pop. Someone yells out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Kilroy points in their direction.
Kilroy Evans: Yeah, I did it! Didn't die for a whole 'nother year! But, uh, with that happening, and my deciding to come out of retirement...I kinda had a realization. Considering my age and my...
Kilroy looks out at the crowd and half-shrugs.
Kilroy Evans: ...can you call it a style? Considering how I conduct myself in the ring. And out of the ring. And backstage. And in the parking lot. *pause* Anyway, let's face it: with the way I do things, who knows how much longer I've got left? I mean, I've been pretty indestructible so far, but I am, technically, mortal.
The fans boo this idea.
Kilroy Evans: Yeah, I know. Good thing practically all of the awesomely terrible things I've done are on video! So I kinda hinted earlier on, but I knew that if I was coming back into the fold, I wanted to make this run---potentially my last one---special. It needs to not waste anyone's time and have the highest stakes possible.
Kilroy stops and smiles and improbably large and toothy smile.
Kilroy Evans: And boy, did I figure out how to make that happen! You wanna know the big, dumb plan?!
The crowd pops wildly for Kilroy's big, dumb plan.
Kilroy Evans: Thank you! I even made a special "commercial" for it and paid for ad time. So if the production people could please go ahead and run that for me now, I'd be mighty grateful!
[The shot fades out and then fades in to Kilroy standing in his White Room, wearing a red smoking jacket over his usual attire. Soothing classical music plays in the background as he speaks in a soothing monotone.]
Kilroy Evans: Hello, I'm Kilroy Evans. I've wrestled all over the world and in practically every type of match there is.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy standing by a large bank of monitors playing a lot of his greatest, most daring moments. Many of them are graphically bloody or him jumping off of places he shouldn't, like his infamous elbow drop into the live stage light that eletrocuted him.]
Kilroy Evans: I developed a reputation of perseverence and unparalleled toughness from bell to bell.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy sitting at an ornate desk, various titles piled up on it. Proinently displayed is the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship and tag titles.]
Kilroy Evans: I've won titles.
[The shot cuts to a quick montage of him facing off against a plethora of prominent wrestlers. A shot of him choking Soutter seems to linger a little longer than the rest.]
Kilroy Evans: *voice over* Stood up to every challenge and challenger.
[The shot cuts again to another montage. This time of a seemingly non-stop parade of Kilroy delivering The Bad Touch to his opponents that ends with him celebrating in various crowds at events.]
Kilroy Evans: *voice over* And won the acceptance and respect of fans worldwide.
[The shot cuts to Kilroy sitting in an ornate sitting room, surrounded by the memoribilia he showed off earlier hanging on the wall. He's sitting in a large chair and still in the smoking jacket.]
Kilroy Evans: And now...I offer everyone the chance...
[The shot cuts to an extreme close-up of Kilroy's dispassionate face.]
Kilroy Evans: ...and I mean EVERYONE...
[The shot cuts back.]
Kilroy Evans: ...to try and take that glory for themselves. I am now out of retirement, and I'm challenging anyone who wants to try to put me back into retirement. For good!
[Kilroy pounds his fists onto the arms of the chair he's in and stands up with an intense look in his eye. The music shifts from soothing classical to the chorus of Beethoven's Ode To Joy. If you're having trouble placing it, you'd probably remember it from the Die Hard trailer. Kilroy's monotone shifts into a passionte yell.]
Kilroy Evans: If you want to add one hell of an achievement to your career...if you think you're ready to send me out to pasture for last time...if you're good enough, smart enough, and if you've got the GUTS!
[The shot cuts to a close-up as Kilroy glares into the camera menacingly and points to the audience.]
Kilroy Evans: Then you bring your A-game, come find ME, and see if YOU can end Kilroy Evans' career!
[The shot cuts back to the sitting room as Kilroy sits back down in the chair. Only now the sitting room is completely on fire. Kilroy looks entirely nonplussed as the shot fades out and back into Kilroy in the ring. The fans are making a lot of noise with a very mixed reaction to what they've seen.]
Kilroy Evans: I can't leave this business under my own power, people! So I'm challenging anybody and everybody to make me stay retired. No one's getting a free pass, either! If you step up and try me, it might not be my career ending that night. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go back and check my phone and talk to a lot of angry, surprised friends and family. I'll probably be having a chat with management, too. I told literally NOBODY that I was doing this. Have a good night!
[Kilroy leaves happily to "Dogsong" by Mr. Feral]