SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:44:51 GMT -5
We open to a jam packed Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne, Australia. The shot pans around the arena and the fans are going wild and we then switch to the back locker room, where we see KGB Body Guard Bruno, laid out cold on the floor. Soutter is kneeling over him and yelling for some help, and paramedics rush the scene and start tending to him. Jeremy Tucker : Looks like someone has attacked Bruno pre show Fulton! Andrew Fulton : Great deduction Jerry, either that or he had a big session of day drinking and is out for the count. How cool IS Day Drinking. Jeremy Tucker : (gives Fulton the look) Welcome to SWAT everyone, WELCOME TO THE ANZAC CUP!!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOhHqIv6gAMWiseguy hits and Joe Pesci makes his way down to the ring. The fans are booing him and yelling at him, and he is egging them on and taunting them as he enters the ring. Joe Pesci : Ok. Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. Welcome to the Anzac Cup, you Filthy Animals. Listen to this racket, what a bunch of disrespectful bookyaks. I wanted to come out here and revel in the success of SWAT, and how far we have come under my reign, but to listen to you Aussie Stronzos why even bother. Typical. Just like your hero, The Suit. This guy, what an ungrateful prick. Here he was about to go under, and so i try and be nice and bail him out and buy half the fed, and then he loses his shit, and distances himself from me, then, drops me on my head with Soutter Special on Suits Suit!!! Crowd pop hard and Pesci glares at them Joe Pesci : Looks like Bruno just ran into a little accident, i sure hope he is ok. Shot switches to show medics still attending to Bruno, Soutter one eye on them and one on a monitor showing Joe in the ring. Joe Pesci : Sure is terrible timing ... because folks, we have a little change to the brackets. You see, i am not happy with the KGB trying to rig this thing and put themselves in an easy group against Team Lawson and then The Overlords. Nope. U _ UH! Not on my watch. So, i have made a little change, and that spot is now being taken by TEAM FAIRTEX! I liked the Commentary stuff guys, very impressive, also, while on Team Fairtex, i have in my office TWO retrospective GODEN TICKETS to the SWAT HELLOWEEN WORLD TITLE MATCH! They have Team Fairtex name written on them, why? Because the winners of tonights CUP also go into that World Title Match! Crowd pops Joe Pesci : So as last years winners, you guys are in too! Which brings me to the new bracket for the KGB! You guys will be replacing Team Fairtex in their bracket, which means ... you got the International Champion and the ACW Champion ... YOU GOT FUNNY BUSINESS!!! AND YOU GOT THEM RIGHT NOW!!! Jeremy Tucker : Holy Shit! What a first round match up! Can he do that? Andrew Fulton : He just did Jerry. He_just_did.
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:45:20 GMT -5
{{Racing to the show...}}
{{JUST OUTSIDE THE ARENA'S PARKING LOT...}}
{{...you know, in the ocean.}}
{{Smooth sailing.}}
{{A two hundred foot super yacht cuts across the raging sea...}}
{{Heading towards the Anzac Cup in style.}}
{{Rain beats down on the windows. Behind the wheel of this leviathan is the wonderful mechanical man who is a friend to all but hates nature... so what the hell is he doing in the middle of the ocean?}}
{{The Devil of SWAT almost falls over the side of the railing as he violently throws up. Barely able to stand upright, the king of snakes slithers into the control room of the behemoth. Almost falling over as the waves sway the vessel, Vile finds a nice corner in the spacious room, leaning against it in pain. Using a snakeskin sleeve to wipe the sick from his monstrous maw, Vile runs a claw to slick back his drenched hair, flopping back into a seated position.}}
AB: Has your condition improved, Vincent?
VVV: Don't call me, Vin... Vin... ugh...
{{The 2018 Royal Rumble winner gags, a shell of a shell of a man.}}
AB: It is unfortunate you do not possess functional sea legs. We can give you an upgrade.
VVV: Yeah, yeah... I don't do open watersss. We all have our kryptonite. Brocode's achilles heel is me fucking their mothers. I don't like sssailing. Whose to say which is worssse? Me shoving my twenty-four inch python through Calum Morgan's mother's eye socket, then giving Paul Blair's dear sweet gummy mum a golden shower.... or the insufferable waves crashing against the deck. Fucking wavesss. The up and down motion of this boat in the water, or the up and down motion of my wrinkled old ass as a THRUST into Frostbite's wife? <aside> Which is a ride very much like the Kingda Ka roller coaster... there's an obscenely long lineup to get on her, she's as big as a fucking mountain, and you kind of feel like throwing up both during and afterwards. <back> Running water. I know I look invincible, but I have many of the same weaknesses as Dracula. So spare me your upgrade offering sympathy, you bucket of boltsss!
{{If the robot could feel emotions, Balan would definitely be enjoying Old Scratch's discomfort.}}
AB: If this experience is so painful for you, Vincent, why did you accept this unit's transportation offer?
VVV <spit>: And MISSSSSSSSS one of your "invite all the boys on a road trip to look like a locker room leader in an effort to garner votes in popularity contests, when you're really just using them to put yourself over the competition" promotional videos? Perisssh the thought!
L U C H I A N
I N C .
P R E S E N T S
" S A I L
A L O N G "
{{The miserable old bastard waves his claw at the entire SWAT roster that has been brought onto this party cruise!}}
{{...except the massive vessel is empty.}}
{{Vile swoons.}}
{{...}}
{{BACK! Coming to his senses, Viper finds himself popping dramamine like it was krokodil.}}
VVV <dramamine falling out of his mouth as he sneers at the empty room>: WHERE THE HELL ISSS EVERYONE?
AB: You were the only person that this unit extended an invitation to, Vincent. Forcing a hundred men into a four foot vehicle appeals more to Buster's unique sense of humour. We had pushed that gag to its limit. Our psychological department has discovered that the concept of "tired antics" is foreign to you. With any luck you can download this knowledge over the course of our three hour tour?
{{Lightning flashes.}}
AB: Besides, my interest in those segments is the interactions of different SWAT personalities that normally do not engage one another, displaying the diverse face of the federation. However, inspecting the talent pool involved reveals that this is the face of another. Many members of the SWAT proper roster, including much of the tag division, and this unit's current target, Psychotic Goth, could not make the cut. Instead the tournament features a number of characters who had previously failed to make their mark in SWAT, including your opponent Enigmatic Creature, Frostbite, and Eric Herrera. These have been supplemented by a number of part timers, retirees, and outside tag teams to give it an international feel. That sounds like an unsavoury experiment, but fortunately SWAT is paying for it to take place in the ring, so it would be redundant for Luchian to generate an independent report.
It is just us, Vincent.
{{Thunder.}}
VVV <infamous sneer>: Peachy.
AB: If our research had covered your aversion to sailing, we could have flown.
VVV <spitting>: Funny how that flew under the radar...
AB: Our investigators are usually so thorough.
VVV <snarl>: I'm really looking forwards to kicking your asssssssesss.
AB: There is a 15% chance you will encounter Team Fairtex in the second round instead.
VVV <having run out of dramamine, is now rocking krokodil like its going out of style>: That high? Fucking halfwitsss.
AB: They appear to be legally {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore}.
VVV <tries to stand up, nope, bad idea>: I meant the booking committee. Who came up with these obscene brackets? Phoenix... Pesci... your first match of the night is last year's champions getting buried by the odds on favourites to lose to me in the finals? OR god forbid Goth shows up to protect them, making the ACW, International, and Twinstar champs look like shit. Its like Ssshootfighter has pictures of his dick in Ssstefan Ssslain'sss mouth to ensure his wretched family tree continues to grow like a cancer. How did these fucktards win last year?
AB: Stars involved included Dan Stein.
VVV: ...So they stacked it with a bunch of retirees, who phoned it in, letting the only active tag team in the federation coast through. Well at least they didn't learn anything from last year. Its nice to stay consistent. Have you ever heard Tong talk about how many moves he knows? The kid puts the idiot in savant. Then going to the Hell's Bouncer school of listing off every single team involved in the tournament without really saying anything about them. Then pump out more material than anyone else, without any real substance. I always think its funny that Fairtex come out of the Ssshootfighter school, but of the thousand moves they know, there isn't a hell of a lot of mixed martial arts. So where is the connection? <pearly yellows> Well they like taking the ENTERTAINMENT out of the sport. <smile fades> Fifteen percent chance to win? FUCK THAT SHIT. SERIOUSLY, you worthless bastards are MY tag team champions... DO NOT lose to these clownsssssssssssss.
AB: An interesting choice of insult.
VVV <waving down with a hand>: You know what I mean. Don't take it the wrong way. <shrug> I just think so little of the Fairtex boys that they remind me of your suicidal pet project.
AB: Buster really took the betrayal by Spike to heart.
VVV <massive shit eating grin>: Did he? <can barely contain excitement> That's horrible.
AB: This unit should extend its gratitude for pushing Buster to his breaking point.
VVV: Hey, if you're trying to write me out of this tournament by puking my guts out on this fucking boat, the least I can do is get your partner committed. Without Spike to manage him, Beelz is going to have to watch all those Psssychotic Goth promos himself. Its a death sentence! Man... Spike was a great surprise. You ever clue into it? I was surprised you never offered him a contract.
AB: Everyone was aware of his identity, Vincent.
VVV: Get the fuck out of here.
AB: Worst kept secret in SWAT.
VVV <waving him off>: Screw you. You're just jealousss. HUGE SSSURPRISSSE PARTNER - and the two of us our going to run through you asshole on our way to winning the whole stupid thing. Unlike the last victors, we'll actually make the cup ressspectable. First step is losing the whole Australian vet angle with the name. Talk about lame. The dirty dozen made army convicts popular, Australia... not so much.
AB: Your storyline is not going to work, Vincent.
VVV: ...No one can beat us. It looks like the FreakAngelsss in the finals... back when me and Spike were in the Frank, Carpenter and Phoenix were nothing.
AB: It is not the Frank A. Marano Memorial Cup, Vincent.
VVV: Nah. Unlike that piece of shit, Better than Sssex is WINNING this one. Making Anzac the BETTER tournament... once we change the title.
AB: Irrelevant. The better tournament is not a factor. In your scenario, you make up for a decade of neglect by winning a tag tournament with your grand progeny. Turner does not enjoy your antics. You cannot turn back time. This tournament is NOT that tournament. You will never be able to win the match. Hardkore Johnny will ALWAYS politic you out of your victory. This trauma cannot be changed. Your paternal skills cannot be upgraded. Every team involved in the Anzac tournament has a backstory to justify their journey through the night, but yours is inherently flawed. You have to adapt.
VVV: And I suppose sad clown and anal retentive robot get given even more gold to be sitting duck champs with is the story to go with?
AB: Our tale involves personal redemption in the face of crippling despair, through the cold friendship of steel. It is optimal.
VVV: Keep telling yourself t---
AB: Team Fairtex. The unique skills of tag team wrestlers against makeshift singles. Viva Le Revolution. The maddening good will of SWAT management, hope to make seven times a charm. The KGB. A broken stable, crawling back against all odds, despite the minuscule amount of time since their epic implosion. Hell's Bouncer and Drimstone. Younger talent taking a stand to prove XWCW deserved a chance. All teams have devised unique scenarios, not all are as compelling, but they are feasible... unlike Better Than Sex. For your sake, I hope your tournament exit comes at the hands of myself and Buster, as our psychiatric team feels that would be easier for you to digest.
VVV <pulling out some more drugs to help with his motion sickness, probably>: Lose to you assholes? How high are you. Actually <handing over some whoonga> here... this will help... didn't Fairtex say you were suffering from AIDSSS?
AB: They suggested I had a virus. A computer virus. Which is probable. However, upon acknowledging that my system may be compromised, they switched their suggestion to a biological ailment. Rather tasteless. Unfortunately it is hard to come back with venereal diseases they could be afflicted with, without seeming insensitive to their Bangkok origins.
VVV <taking the whoonga himself>: So tell me... you hate this nature ssshit. Why the hell are we on a boat?
AB: That would appear to be related to the code negatively effecting my system.
VVV: Trying to crash through the coral reef? Or what... you're hot for nature now? Some Industrial Man you turned out to be...
AB: Oh, but I'm not the Industrial Man, matey.
{{Lightning crashes.}}
VVV: Come again...
{{Thunder. Turning away from the wheel, Attila Balan is wearing a patch over his eye.}}
AB: Ya lily livered landlubber...
{{Pulling out a sword, the virus affecting the robot's processing matrix seems to have transformed him into a pirate.}}
{{Fuck yeah.}}
VVV <crawling towards the deck, still too dizzy to walk>: Fuck this.
AB <nervous tick>: Ya think you can disrespect me hearties, and get away with it YE BILGE RAT?
{{Vile falls out onto the deck, while the extremely wealthy robot philanthropist turned cut throat mercenary of the sea follows him with a limp.}}
VVV: This isn't backyard... keep that wressssssssstlecrap ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshit away from me!
{{The lightning flashes again, illuminating a wooden plank that has been bolted to the side of the super yacht. Making out its form, Vile swallows hard, before turning back towards the outstretched sword.}}
AB: Yer days of given orders be over, snake. I ain't yer Industrial Man...
{{At the point of the sword, the king of snakes starts to crawl towards the plank.}}
{{Lightning.}}
AB: I AM THE CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY!!!
{{Thunder.}}
{{A massive wave hits the side of the ship, covering the lens in water before Vile can be forced to his death.}}
{{Smooth sailing.}}
{{The amazing video effects that can be achieved in Luchian Inc.'s large dressing room.}}
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:45:36 GMT -5
[Backstage at Rod Laver Arena...]
[INSIDE THE BELLY OF A SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[Darkness.]
You know... its nice the way some of the boys are acknowledging every single person involved in the Anzac Cup. A chance to talk shit about bigger stars you will never face, protected by brackets but still having bragging rights over them when you sneak past an exhausted opponent who did all the heavy lifting in an earlier round. Bringing the entire field up..... that manages to show everyone respect.
Not mentioning anyone by name kind of shits on the whole event. Like a random tag tournament celebrating the culture of a place your desperate to leave, means absolutely nothing... and your ascent is a foregone conclusion.
Keeping that in mind, I'd like to talk to you about Lonely Cobryn.
Lonely Cobryn is a former professional wrestler that enjoyed a handful of wins during his brief career. Those brief flirtations with avoiding enhancing talent, were all it took for him to be a guest star at the first ANZAC CUP.
We have many similar guests at this years events.
The future Lonely Cobryns.
Rather than tell you about how they will lose this tournament, I would like to explain how they will lose at life. This brief payday in Australia for fans that only just got to see their glory days of a decade past, and somehow think the ancient television feed - and these stars - are still relevant.
You enjoy the cheers. Hell, the rubes don't know that all your big tournament wins were in events you organized yourself. Perhaps this job is just what your career needs to once again hit the convention circuit.
It worked for Lonely Cobryn.
In order to sell the champions as being worthwhile, the television show will perpetually mention your name, like it was a huge accomplishment coming out on top with you there. Even in losing, it makes you sound like a winner. More of a winner than clean up on aisle 6. How could the fans know that you'd lay down for gas money and a coupon to spud bar.
Better luck next year, champ.
There will be no next year.
You retired a while back. You should have stayed retired. Your matches were awful. Even in a tag team you could barely connect the dots. We are talking business exposingly bad shit... but that cheer from the crowd? The groupies? You forgot about the groupies. Oh, its the exact same ones, much older, obscene miles, but its been so long since a crackheaded lush gave you a discount, the dream is very much alive. Its nice not to be lonely.
So you hit the conventions.
You weren't invited, but you have a folding table. You definitely have a folding table. Hell, you used to smash people through tables. Lonely Cobryn knows ALL ABOUT tables.
Is that a Rally Jackson fan?
Just kidding.
But there are marks at these tiny events. Marks who showed up to see Tum! You wrestled Tum once, right, Lonely Cobryn? You should remind people about that great match, maybe take a picture? That picture will be twenty dollars.
Twenty dollars.
All actions in life, like chain wrestling, move for move, con for con, desperate plea after desperate plea, all designed to get Lonely Cobryn another meal at Spud Bar. The hunger is real.
Your booth is the only empty one in a room in which ten wrestlers share a thousand fans, and its a little degrading, but not as degrading as eating at spud bar.
You call shows that acquaintances are appearing on, and lie to the organizers about you being a package deal. The tag spirit of the Anzac is strong in you!
No show? No problem.
Parking lots.
Subways.
Malls.
Daycares.
Cruises.
Walmarts.
So many Walmartsss.
There is Lonely Cobryn and his table, offering to sign something for you. No one is lined up. Not a fan in sight. Most people avoid it. All the fans in the world got their shit autographed the first week, but the tour continues. You hope someone developes an app where you can track Cobryn's movements and avoid the awkward moment were you have to politely decline a picture with him. The future is now.
It might be soul crushing, but Lonely Cobryn is still part of the wrestling business.
And he owes it all to SSSWAT.
Thank you, Anzac Cup.
[Referee Skip Tracy cuts open the shark.]
[Vile "Vince" Viper, a dozen half eaten fish, a license plate, and a lot of disgusting fluids, spill out onto the locker room floor.]
[Vile is covered in shit, but at least he still has his dignity.]
Vile "Vince" Viper: Good luck, future Lonely Cobryns.
[Good luck everybody.]
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:46:02 GMT -5
Jeremy Tucker: And welcome to our first match of the evening. The KGB look to defeat the current ACW Heavyweight champion and International champion.
Andrew Fulton: We were expecting Team Fairtex in this position and the KGB may have just been screwed in this deal. And now the attack on Bruno the night is already off to a wild start. Lets send it down to Frank Salazar.
Frank Salazar: Introducing first weighing in at 428 pounds from MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA he is the leader of the KGB, hes the man with the plan, hes got the skills to thrill, the best face in the place, he is THE MAD DOGGGGGGGGG SOUTTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Rip it up by 28 days later plays in the arena. The fans are on their feet going nuts holding up KGB banners and shirts and throwing towels around. Soutter stands at the top of the stage and soaks it all in before cracking his neck and taking a bow several times.
Frank Salazar: And his tag team partner, weighing in tonight at 285 pounds from WAYNE COUNTY, WEST VIRGINIA he is a member of the KGB this is THE HILLBILLY ASSASSINNNNNNNNN JAMESSSSSSSSSS FIERCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Stuck in the middle with you by Stealers Wheel begins to play as the fans are still on their feet. Fierce comes strutting out through the curtains as him and Soutter exchange a few words. James holds his Jeremy Tucker:
Andrew Fulton: aisle shooting a sneer towards the fans who are still chanting for the KGB.
Jeremy Tucker: The KGB has the home town advantage one might think here tonight. But with no Bruno at ringside how distracted is this team going to be?
Andrew Fulton: James Fierce has come so close but so short lately at capturing the International championship. Is this the night he gets back on track and puts it all together and wins the Anzac Cup?
Frank Salzar: Introducing now, weighing in at 245 pounds from INDUSTRY, TEXAS he is the INTERNSATIONAL CHAMPION THE INDUSTRIALLLLL MANNNNNN ATTILAAAAAA BALANNNNNN!!!!!
The house lights cut out leaving the arena in darkness as "Strict Machine" by Goldfrapp starts to pump over the PA System. Yellow sparks blast down on the entranceway giving the audience of a flash of Attila Balan. As the embers burn out all that remains is the audiences approval and the hundred tiny glowing lights attached to the Industrial Man's leather jacket. These lights reflect in his ray ban shades giving him an otherworldly appearance in the dark. Balan marches down the aisle at a methodical pace, in sync with the music. Entering the ring, Industrial Man throws off his jacket for another round of yellow pyro, before the lights come back on.
FRANK SALAZAR: And his tag team partner weighing in tonight at 265 pounds from HUNTINGTON, WEST VIRGINIA he is the ACW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION BEELZEBOOOOOZZZZZZZZZOOOOO!!!!!
The lights go out and the opening fanfare of "Entrance of the Gladiators" by Julis Fucik starts to play. After the introduction, before the famous melody can begin, there is the sound of a record scratching, then the maniacal laughter that only an evil clown can produce fills the air. The laughter ends abruptly and there is a second of awkward, uncomfortable silence before "Halloween (Celldweller remix) cuts through the quiet.
Red lights illuminate the entranceway and their are noticable fumbling motions behind the curtain before Beelzebozo finally emerges from the back.
His ill-fitting suit looking like he slept in it the last three days, porkpie hat perched precariously on top of his shock of red hair, and lit cigar in his mouth, the Clown From Hell stumbles down the aisle, cursing at women, spitting at men, and threatening to backhand little kids that try to touch him.
His ever-present Sack slung over one hunched shoulder, the bag of mischief bulging from the vile treasures within, Beelzebozo shambles down to the ring.
He puts his Sack down in the corner, and pulls out a balloon, stretching it repeatedly before blowing into it and quickly shaping it into a flawless giraffe. Beelzebozo hands the giraffe to a small girl at ringside and takes a deep bow as the crowd gives him a small smattering of applause.
The Clown Prince of Chaos then takes his lit cigar from his mouth and jabs the giraffe with it, the small balloon animal exploding. The girl bursts into tears and the angry crowd throws garbage at Beelzebozo as he stumbles into the ring, ready for his match to begin.
Jeremy Tucker: This unique team goes by the name Funny Business. And theyre laughing all the way to the bank holding all the gold.
Andrew Fulton: Screw these guys. Theyre in Australia and nobody gets over more than the home town favorites of the KGB! How can we sanction a match with a damn drunk?
DING DING DING
Jeremy Tucker: It looks like were going to start off with Soutter and the Industrial Man. James Fierce appeared to have wanted to start the match but Soutter talked him down. The fans are chanting and clapping their hands and stomping their feet as Soutter stretches out on the ropes.
KGB
.KGB
.KGB
KGB
..KGB
..KGB
Andrew Fulton: This man should have gotten a first round bye. The Industrial Man is holding his ears and doesnt want to hear it. Normally the fans love this guy, but hes in the land of the KGB and that wont be a good thing for him.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter slapping his chest and Balan walks over and smacks Soutter across the face. Soutter reaches back and slaps Balan and now both men are exchanging slaps which have turned into punches. The fans are on their feet cheering as both men shove one another and finally take a step back. Soutter cracks his neck and stretches out on the ropes again.
Andrew Fulton: Balan may be the International champion but Im not sure how smart it is to get into a slug fest wit the mad dog.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan charges Soutter with a shoulder block and bounces off of him. Soutter slaps his stomach and dares him to try it again. Balan once again off the ropes and hits Soutter with a shoulder block, he wobbles but he doesnt fall. Soutter again slapping his stomach with a smile on his face. The fans are screaming to feed him.
Andrew Fulton: Soutter smiling from ear to ear. I think hes just as shocked at Balans attempt to take him down as we are.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter now off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and spins around to nail Balan with a right hand. Balan high tails it out of the ring and slams the guard rail onto the floor. The fans are screaming so loud in here for the KGB its rattled the International champion.
Andrew Fulton: Soutter never needs extra motivation but tonight to know that Bruno has been laid out, its put the big man on super pissed off mode.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter now leaves the ring and Balan charges the big man but once again bounces off of him. Balan charges once again and bounces off of him. Soutter slaps his stomach but gets met with a right boot to t he face. Balan grabs the arm of Soutter and sends him into the guard rail but the big man revers it and Balan goes flying head first into the guard rail.
Andrew Fulton: The robot is going to be used for parts at the end of this match!
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter with a headbutt to the back of the head and rolls Balan back into the ring and follows in after him. Beelzzebozo enters the ring but Soutter nails him with a right hands. The ACW champion drops off the ring apron and Soutter tags in the Hillbilly Assassin.
Andrew Fulton: The fans are going nuts! Youd think a title was just won here tonight.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce goes over and pops Balan with a right hand and whips him into Soutter who drives a knee to the gut and grabs him by the head and flips him onto the canvas. Soutter picks up Balan and whips him towards Fierce who throws a high kick to the face. Soutter with a clothesline from behind drives Balan into the mat.
Andrew Fulton: That attack on Bruno is going to do nothing more than motivate this team here throughout the evening.
Jeremy Tucker: Beelzebozo enters the ring and starts choking Fierce from behind. We have Soutter and Balan in one corner fighting and Beelzebozo and Fierce in another corner as the champ clotheslined Fierce from behind. Balan driving his shoulder into Soutters gut repeatedly. Fierce and Beelzebozo exchanging punches.
Andrew Fulton: This is just the first match of the evening and these four men are doing anything but conserving energy.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan whips soutter across the ring but Soutter reverses it and Fierce ducks a clothesline from Beelzebozo as Balan crashes into the back of Beelzebozzo driving both men into the corner. Fierce runs across the ring and hits a lariat on both men in the corner. Soutter now trots across the ring and drives his ass into the face of Beelzebozo. The fans are going wild!
Andrew Fulton: You know Soutter always eats the buffet before he comes to the ring. Im sure he just ripped some serious ass into the clowns face.
Jeremy Tucker: The KGB is standing tall in the middle of the ring as these fans continue to go wild. The referee is letting these four men do whatever they want. Double fist bump by Soutter and Fierce as the big man leaves the ring. Fierce looks around the ring and points towards the turnbuckle and the fans scream yes. Fierce climbs up the turnbuckles and gets attacked from behind by Beelzebozo.
Andrew Fulton: Cheap shot from the drunk clown who drinks cheap beer!
Jeremy Tucker: A few shots to the back of James Fierce, Beelzebozo gets his head under the legs and lifts Fierce up onto his shoulders. Balan climbs up the turnbuckles now and hits a Thez press onto Fierce driving him hard onto canvas off the shoulders. Id never seen that before! Balan for the cover.
ONE
TWO
.
Andrew Fulton: The Hillbilly Assassin gets the shoulder up as the fans are on their feet clapping.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan now behind Fierce and begins to choke him out and raking the eyes in the process. Balan now locks on a Texas Cloverleaf as Fierce scrambles fast towards the ropes but Balan drags him away.
Andrew Fulton: Fierce looks really groggy since that super Thez press. But Im not sure Id have gone with this submission.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan locks it in even tighter as Soutter is trying to rally these fans behind his partner. Fierce trying to push himself towards the ropes but to no avail but makes one last desperation attempt to grab the ropes and gets his hand on the bottom rope. Balan jumps up and runs across the ring blasting Soutter and sends the big man off the ring apron.
Andrew Fulton: There was no need for crap like that! Balan has changed.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter is angry and enters the ring, the referee trying to stop him as Balan picks up Fierce and hits hard right hand and drags him towards Beelzebozo. Balan makes the tag as both men pick up Fierce and hit a double scoop slam. Beelzebozo grabs Fierce by the legs and stomps on his nuts with a stiff shot.
Andrew Fulton: Blue balls special aisle 5!
Jeremy Tucker: Side headlock by the champ as he spits towards Soutter and sticks his tongue out at him. The clown spits a balloon out of his mouth and starts to stretch it around the neck of James Fierce and goes back to the side headlock while keeping that balloon stretched around the neck.
Andrew Fulton: Fierce is becoming a human balloon animal.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce fighting back with multiple elbows to the side of Beelzebozo. The champ with a clothesline quacking ending any momentum Fierce was trying to get. Beelzebozo drags Fierce over to Soutter to make the tag but then slaps Soutter and pulls Fierce away and back to the side headlock.
Andrew Fulton: The champ is just taunting the big man now at Fierces expense.
Jeremy Tucker: The champ releases the side headlock and hits several hard right hands sending Fierce back into the corner. Another hard right hand by Beelzebozo sends Fierce onto his ass on the mat. The champ slapping his knee repeatedly, Fierce attempts to get up and eats a knee to the face by the champ.
Andrew Fulton: KNEEEEEEEE SLAPPERRRRRRR!
Jeremy Tucker: The champ drags Fierce to the corner and places a boot over his throat and begins to choke him out. Balan off the ring apron runs along ringside and blasts Fierce with a bell clap repeatedly. Fierce rolls out of the ring and lands chest first onto the concrete. The champ follows after Fierce and connects with a beautiful belly to back suplex sending Fierce crashing hard into the guard rail.
Andrew Fulton: The champ grabs Fierce and sends him back to the ring and charges him in the corner with a clothesline and drives the head of Fierce into the turnbuckle repeatedly.
Jeremy Tucker: The champ fires Fierce across the ring and follows after, Fierce rolls out of the way, Beelzebozo turns around and gets driven into the mat with a vicious powerslam! Fierce slow to move but rolls across the ring and makes the tag to Soutter.
Andrew Fulton: This place just blew up! The fans are going crazy at the big man entering the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter for a clothesline, Beelzebozo ducks and kicks him in the midsection and hits a high knee to the face. The champ off the ropes but is caught off the rebound and Soutter hits a side walk slam. The champ rolls towards the corner and here comes the big man with an avalanche in the corner and follows it up with several hard forearm smashes. Irish whip into the opposite corner and Soutter again hits several hard forearm smashes and a few headbutts to boot!
Andrew Fulton: The champ got hit so hard hes laying back first over the top turnbuckle!!! BUFFET TABLE IS NOW OPEN!
Jeremy Tucker: The big man is going nuts, headbutt after headbutt and then starts driving those hard right hands into the stomach of the champ. The fans are going crazy as the champ is at Soutters mercy. Beelzebozo falls off the turnbuckle and onto the mat. Soutter backs up and you know whats coming!
Andrew Fulton: THE ATF HAS COME TO AUSTRALIA!!!!! ASS TO FACE ASS TO FACE!!
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter trots towards the champ but goes ass first into the turnbuckles as the champ rolls out of the way at the last second. The champ off the ropes but Soutter picks him up and hits a spinning powerslam! The big man goes for the cover.
ONE
..
TWO
..
Andrew Fulton: The champ gets a shoulder up!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan enters the ring and Soutter clotheslines him over the top rope quicker then he could enter the ring. The champ slow to his feet, Soutter turns around and trots towards him, the champ with an attempted back body drop lifts Soutter up but Balan runs across the ring, and leaps over the top rope with a clothesline! The fans just lost their shit at that move!
Andrew Fulton: Where did Balan come from? How did they get Soutter up in the air?
Jeremy Tucker: Beelzebozo runs across the ring and delivers a high knee to James Fierce who wasnt paying attention. The champ now turns his attention back to the big man and hits some ground and pound with multiple punches to the big mans face. I cant tell whats going on but Fierce and Balan are going at it in the crowd now, but turning our attention back to the action in the ring.
Andrew Fulton: We almost need another team out here like Scorpio and Carver. Those guys are the bomb!
Jeremy Tucker: The champ pulls Soutter to his feet and is trying to muscle him back to the corner. Here comes Balan after leaving Fierce somewhere in the crowd, Balan runs back to his corner as Beelzebozo tags him in. Soutter gets placed into a side headlock, Balan with a spinning back elbow and then axe handle chop.
Andrew Fulton: Soutter no selling the chop as he gets him with several more.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan gets in Soutters face and starts doing the robot but Soutter reaches up and clocks Balan! Balan not happy drives a knee to the head and drops Soutter with a ddt. The International champion now drags Soutter to his feet and Irish whips him into the corner and starts popping his Prozac pills. Balan slapping himself across the face goes charging towards Soutter. Balan leaps up in the air and delivers a flying fist shot to the face.
Andrew Fulton: That right there will make the sportscenter top 10!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan drops down with another fist to the face and goes for the cover.
ONE
.
TWO
Andrew Fulton: Soutter kicks out and sends Balan flying off of him.
Jeremy Tucker: Balan loses his shit and starts going off on Soutter with fist after fist after fist. Balan just teeing off on Soutter with rapid fire punches like nothing Im used to seeing.
Andrew Fulton: THE ROBOT!!! When he starts going into rapid fire mode its the ROBOT! Get your shit together man!!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan to his feet now as shakes, shimmies and bakes doing the robot to his corner and arrogantly making the tag to Beelzebozo. The Heavyweight champ stands Soutter up but gets popped with multipe shots to the ribs. Fist shot, headbutt, fist shot, headbutt Soutter going off on Beelzebozo. Soutter with a right hand, the champ ducks and nails a superkick on the big man knocking him down.
Andrew Fulton: TIMMMMMMMBERRRRRRRRRRRR!
Jeremy Tucker: Beelzebozo mounts Soutter and drives elbow after elbow to him as Balan looks on with a smile on his face, rather creepy to be honest. Beelzebozo with a vicious elbow to the mouth of Soutter. The champ gets up and taunts Fierce begging him to enter the ring, the Hillbilly Assassin could care less as he isnt even paying attention to him. Side headlock applied by Beelzebozo now.
Andrew Fulton: This team of Balan and Beelzebozo has more arrogance then Cobryn and that guy thought he was gods gift.
Jeremy Tucker: This could be the team to beat here tonight.
Andrew Fulton: Which team?
Jeremy Tucker: Either one of them to be honest. Not many teams can honestly say that theyre good enough to win it all, but these four men are two of the teams that could win it all.
Andrew Fulton: Whoever booked this as a first round match is an idiot. All of these jokes we have in this years cup, this could have been a finals match or even a semi finals. Instead undeserving teams will get a chance to move on, while these two teams get screwed. Well one of them will get screwed. Fantastic booking. NOT.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter meanwhile is trying to fight out of this and throwing his head back in a reverse headbutt attempt. The big man on his feet but Beelzebozo not letting go of that side headlock, Soutter pushes the arms up and over and hits a jawbreaker. The champ gets to his feet, shakes his head and blasts Soutter with a fist shot driving him into the corner against Balan. Beelzebozo begins firing off with stiff shots while Balan has his arms wrapped around Soutters neck.
Andrew Fulton: Blatant cheating, what has happened to Balan?
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter with a back elbow to Balan, kicks Beelzebozo in the gut and now hes fighting both men firing off with elbows to his two opponents. The fans are going crazy here as Soutter as in super smash mode. Soutter climbs to the second turnbuckle and leaps onto Beelzebozo with his legs around his neck and drives the champ into the ground. Both men rolling around, holy shit the big man jumped. Can he make the tag.
Andrew Fulton: Fierce is the freshest man in the match, Soutter really needs to make this tag.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter makes the tag! Beelzebozo makes the tag! Here comes Fierce and Balan like two wild bulls in the ring. Balan with a kick to the side of Fierces head and drives him back. Jawbreaker and a knee to the face by Balan who hits the ropes and goes for a clothesline, Fierce ducks, spins around and hits a bulldog! He pulls Balan back up to his feet and hits a but buster drop. Fierce again pulls Balan to his feet and hits repeated headbutts and a belly to belly suplex.
Andrew Fulton: COUNTRY ROAD!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan to his feet and starts pumping his fist as he stomps around the ring.
Andrew Fulton: STEAM POWERED!!! Balan is starting to absorb everything Fierce hits him with.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce goes for a right hand, Balan hoists him up in the air, Fierce continues to fire off right hands. Balan drops Fierce who picks up Balan and hits a fisherman suplex. Fierce to his feet and stats beating his chest, he turns around Balan is on his feet going for a chokeslam. Fierce blasts him with a fist shot, Balan with a forearm shot but Fierce ducks and drops him with an implant DDT.
Andrew Fulton: Fierce is the fresh man in the match and hes having his way.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce sends Balan into the ropes and hits a neck tie clothesline. He whips Balan across the ring, Balan reverses it and Fierce grabs the ropes and jumps up in the air. Fierce with a country boy roll across the ring charges towards Balan who rolls out of the corner turns towards Fierce and goes for a fist shot, Fierce ducks and hits a firemans carry DDT!
Andrew Fulton: The fans are losing their shit! Fierce is a one man wrecking crew.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce picks up Balan and hits another fishermans suplex. Fierce to his feet as he waits for Balan to get up, Beelzebozo runs around the ring and grabs his partners legs and pulls him out of the ring.
Andrew Fulton: The champs wanting a time out right about now.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce off the ropes and goes to dive through them but gets met with two sets of fists from his opponents outside the ring. Fierce draped head first over the second rope now. Balan pulls Fierce onto the concrete floor as him and Beelzebozo begin to pound on the back of James Fierce. Soutter has had enough, he walks around the ring and trots across the ring apron and hits a splash on all three men.
Andrew Fulton: 7 / 10 split!!!! Soutter just shook the building and maybe shortened a few careers.
Jeremy Tucker: Soutter is slow to his feet as he surveys the damage hes done. He grabs Beelzebozo and throws him into the ring and follows in behind him. Soutter picks up Beelzebozo and goes for a samoan drop, Fierce sides back into the ring, Soutter drops Beelzebozo and Fierce hits a double stomp to the chest! Fierce picks up Beelzebozo and hits a back drop driver. Soutter is on the second turnbuckle and comes crashing down with a body splash! Soutter for the cover but Fierce pushes him out of the way and goes for the cover.
ONE
TWO
TH
.
Andrew Fulton: Beelzebozo barely kicks out. Soutter is still standing in the ring with a confused look on his face. Soutter leaves the ring as Fierce gets in the officials face about a slow count.
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce turns around and makes his way towards the corner and tags in Soutter. Fierce picks up Beelzebozo for a side walk slam, Soutter off the second turnbuckle with a leg drop over the neck of the champ. Soutter for the cover.
ONE
TWO
.
THRE
.
Andrew Fulton: Balan just grabbed the referees legs and pulled him out of the ring!!!! Balan just saved his partner from dropping the fall.
Jeremy Tucker: The fans are throwing trash in the middle of the ring and pelting Balan and the referee with drinks and trash.
THIS IS BULLSHIT
..THIS IS BULLSHIT
THIS IS BULLSHIT
THIS IS BULLSHIT
YOU SCREWED SOUTTER
..YOU SCREWED SOUTTER
YOU SCREWED SOUTTER
..
Andrew Fulton: Funny Business just screwed the KGB and Soutter is red hot!
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce runs across the ring and exits quickly but gets nailed with a chair from Balan. The referee is down and Fierce is being beaten with a chair. Balan enters the ring and hits a hand spring neckbreaker on Soutter. The big man staggers around and Balan hits a second one, Soutter almost drops but hes staggering around still. Balan with multiple dropkicks as Soutter finally goes down. Balan now blasting the big man with multiple chair shots.
Andrew Fulton: Theres going to be a riot in Australia and its only the opening match!
Jeremy Tucker: Beelzebozo trying to wake up the referee. Balan getting ready to level Soutter again but here comes Fierce back into the ring. Balan turns around and squirts motor oil in the face of James Fierce, the Hillbilly Assassin is wiping his face and blinded. He swings and misses but his arm lands on Soutter and he hits a single armed DDT.
Andrew Fulton: GARY WOLFES FAVORITE MOVE!!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce has no clue what hes just done. Balan goes to his corner, Beelzebozo jumps up and Balan makes the tag. Beelzebozo makes his way towards Soutter and applies a sleeperhold.
Andrew Fulton: WHISKEY LULLABY!!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Beelzebozo has the sleeperlocked in, Balan drags Fierce out of the ring and starts stomping on his leg outside of the ring. The referee checking Soutters arm. Soutters arm goes up one and goes down. Meanwhile Fierce grabbed a beer bottle from under the ring and just nailed Balan across the head with it. Balan falls down and Fierce is trying to get to his feet.
Andrew Fulton: Fierce just committed a party foul! He opens up another beer and takes a swig as he reaches for yet another bottle and another and another. Fierce is getting his party on.
Jeremy Tucker: The referee raises Soutters arm a second time and it goes down a second time. The referee rasies it a third time and here it comes
CRACK!!!!!!!!
Andrew Fulton: Fierce just smashed the bottle over the back of Beelzebozos head. The fans are on their feet!
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce locks the cross face chicken wing on the champion. The referee is trying to pull Fierce off, he spits a mouthful of beer at the referee. Beelzebozo is falling asleep. Soutter is sitting in the corner trying to shake the cob webs off. Fierce is cranking on that hold and the champ is out, hes fading and fading I think its over but Fierce isnt the legal man!
Andrew Fulton: The fans dont care, this match is over and they want the bell to ring!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan crawls into the ring, Fierce drops the hold and attacks Balan and hits the single arm DDT on him!
Andrew Fulton: GARY WOLFES FAVORITE MOVE!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Balan is out, Bellzebozo is out! Fierce goes to check on his partner. He helps him up and Fierce points up to the turnbuckle. Fierce bounces off the ropes and hits a double stomp on both Beelzebozo and Balan. Fierce grabs a beer and takes a swig and struts across the ring. The fans are going wild and here comes Soutter off the top turnbuckle.
CRACK!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! CRACK!!!!! CRACK!!!!!
Andrew Fulton: What in the hell? Fierce just smashed Soutter in the head with a beer bottle as he came flying off with a big splash. Fierce has just nailed his own partner with another beer bottle and busted him wide open!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce wraps a chair around the neck of Soutter and places his arm through yet another one. Fierce to the top turnbuckle and double stomps the chair around the neck!!!!! He goes up and does the same thing but this time on the chair with the arm.
Andrew Fulton: DOUBLE STOMP OF DOOM!!!! AND ANOTHER DOUBLE STOMP OF DOOM!!!!
WHY FIERCE WHY???????????????????????????
Jeremy Tucker: Fierce grabs Beelzebozo and hits a heart punch. Beelzebozo falls over on top of Soutter as James Fierce grabs another beer and opens it up, slams it back and smashes it over the head of the champ as the referee counts the pin on a lifeless Soutter and Beelzebozo.
ONE
.
TWO
THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew Fulton: I cant
.I cant believe
I cant believe my eyes
..
DING DING DING
Frank Salazar: YOUR WINNERS OF THE MATCH AND ADVANCING TO THE QUARTER FINALS
.THE INDUSTRIAL MAN ATTILA BALANNNNNNNNN AND BEELZEBOZOOOOOOOOOOOO
.FUNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYY BUSINESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Jeremy Tucker: James Fierce is standing in the ring proud of what hes done but why? Why did he turn his back on a life long friendship, a life long career of the KGB being his home!!!!
Andrew Fulton: Paramedics are rushing down to the ring as we have nothing but carnage. Balan, Bellzebozo, Soutter are all out cold. Fierce rips his shirt off and reveals another one. It says
HOTTEST FREE AGENT TODAY!!!!!
The camera fades out to fans booing and throwing trash at James Fierce while the medics tend to all three men in the middle of the ring.
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:46:24 GMT -5
Frank Salazar: Introducing first, already in the ring; Sphinx Payne and The Enigmatic creature.
Jeremy Tucker: Oooh mysterious!
Andrew Fulton: No ring music? No combined weight? Can you smell that Tucker?
Jeremy Tucker: Smell what?
Andrew Fulton:Squash.
Frank Salazar: And their opponents, Vile Vince Viper, Spike Nelson
Better than SEX!
The opening of Dare to Be Stupid by Weird Al Yankovic starts as the lights go out. A single spotlight hits the entrance, where a midget rolls out a cannon. He pulls a cord, and Spike Nelson goes hurtling out of the cannon, flying through the air and then doing a perfect front somersault on the entrance ramp. He runs down the rest of the way and slides into the ring, where he begins breakdancing
.badly. Spike then jumps up to the top turnbuckle, does a backflip, then strikes a pose. Ramones cover of "It's a wonderful world" begins to play as VVV makes his way out onto the ramp, obviously enjoying Spikes entrance. VVV struts to the ring as
Jeremy Tucker: Spike with a dropkick
Andrew Fulton: To the DICK of Payne. DICK PAYNE!
Jeremy Tucker: VVV makes his way into the ring and punts The Creature in the
Andrew Fulton: DICK! Its twin dicks!
Jeremy Tucker: VVV gouges Payne in the eyes, who turns around and is nailed by a rana from Spike.
Andrew Fulton: TEC still in pain looks confused, but VVV is there to help the confusion go away or intensify, who knows is motives, but that thrust kick out to make the pain go away for a moment.
Jeremy Tucker: I would not count on it! Spike hits a swinging neckbreaker on Sphinx, and VVV comes off the second rope with a knee drop across the throat of Sphinx.
Andrew Fulton: Hey, thats not in his moveset!
Jeremy Tucker: It should be. Spike hits a standing moonsault on TEC and goes for the cover!
Referee Richard Burns One
Two
Thr
Jeremy Tucker: VVV pulls Spike off. He starts to wag his finger.
Andrew Fulton: Something, something, moneys worth. Some, something, chaos and destruction. Something, something slither.
Jeremy Tucker: I thank you for that.
Andrew Fulton: I did it for myself and my adoring fans.
Jeremy Tucker: VVV is strutting Jackie fargo style. He nails Sphinx in the eyes and throat! Satans Strut! Spike is on the top and nails the front flip stomp!
Andrew Fulton: The devils stomp!
Jeremy Tucker: The cover! By VVV!
Referee Richard Burns One
Two
Three!
Frank Salazar: The winners of the match at 2:32 Better THAN SEX!
Andrew Fulton: Did the bell ever sound to make this official?
Jeremy Tucker: Did it need to?
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:46:39 GMT -5
(The Hired Killers Jade and Kim are in their wrestling gear and Jade is talking to someone on her cellphone.)
Jade: "You seem to have an interesting proposition."
Voice: "These plenty more for the two of you if you accept the offer."
Jade: "We'll consider your offer quite seriously as we always do all offers when a job is involved."
Voice: "Good get back to me as soon as possible."
Jade: "We will after we're done our present business and we intend to take care of all involved....."
(They run into Glamourous Glenda.)
Glamourous Glenda: "Hired Killers I didn't see you coming around the corner."
Kim: "What a coincidence."
Glamourous Glenda: "It's always a coincidence. Now that I'm here what do you think of the Free For All Match."
Jade: "It's just our usual business in the ring and we're going to take care of it....."
Kim: "Even on the outside of the ring we're going to handle our business. We don't care where we do our business we're going to handle it like we always do and that's our way."
Jade: "There's no other way and when we agreed to be in this match it was real big money and our time is more than available."
Kim: "Like we always say you have the money and we got the time."
Glamourous Glenda: "Umm....Yeah I have a feeling for you Jade you're going to have someone on your mind and that person's going to be your main target."
Jade: "Believe me Glamourous Glenda it's going to real sweet and satisfactory to deal with you know who and I'm going to make sure it's both devastating and decisive once and for all. Believe this is going to be a hit job that nobody's going to ever forget."
Glamourous Glenda: "What do you think of someone you helped train being in this match. I'm referring to, of course, Olympia, The current Pan Amazon Women's Champion. You think she's taking too much of a risk."
Kim: "She's taking a big risk and that's obvious but she made the choice and we won't stop her, because she's determined to prove her worth and she may or may not win but that's depending on who she's battling. She's been busted open and she's paid her dues in blood and sweat and suffered through pain and agony but still she continues to fight. That tells you how much character she truly has and how much heart she has and her wrestling skills."
Glamourous Glenda: "One last thing Angela is here and what do you her presence means for SWAT Amazons."
(The Hired Killers look at each other and at a nervous Glamourous Glenda.)
Jade: "What about Angela being here."
Glamourous Glenda: "Well she arrived here earlier....."
Kim: "You actually know if that's really her."
Glamourous Glenda: "I know her when I see her and that was definitely her."
Jade: "Well we'll know if we see her and whatever she wants from us if she does want something from us we'll know it's truly her."
Kim: "Right now we have some business in the ring and we're about to conduct it."
(Jade puts her cellphone away and the Hired Killers leave as the scene slowly fades to black.)
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:46:56 GMT -5
Frank Salazar: Weighing in at a combined 470 pounds from BANKGKOK, THAILAND they are the 2017 ANZAC CUP WINNER. TONG AND PHANTAM FAIRTEXXXXXXXX!!!!!
"He's So Fine" plays and Phantam Fairtex comes to the ring with two models one on each arm accompanied by his brother Tong and their two wrestling valet/wrestlers. He holds the ropes for the models and sends them away and walks like a model before doing a brief dance and strips to reveal his ring attire consisting of the Muy Thai fighting colored gear that Tong wears, dark wrestling boots and Thai Fighing streamers. Phantam goes to all four corners and says a brief prayer before going to his corner and jumps up and down pounding his chest and face with his fists glaring angrily as both the valet/wrestlers leave and Tong gives him advice while he psyches him up.
Jeremy Tucker: Already in the ring are Shane Lawson and David Rave.
Andrew Fulton: Who?
DING DING DING
Jeremy Tucker: Its going to be Phantam starting out against Shane Lawson. Lawson with a go behind but Phantam quickly escapes and nails him with a Muy Thai style kick. Kick to the gut by Phantam who sends Shane into the ropes. Phantam leaps up into the air, rolls over Shanes back nails him in the face, rakes the eyes and hits a scoop slam.
Andrew Fulton: Shane doesnt appear like he prepared for this match at all here tonight.
Jeremy Tucker: Spinning back heel kick by Phantam. Off the rope he goes and Phantam hits a flying shoulder tackle. Tong gets tagged in and both men whip Shane into the corner. Tong runs across the ring and goes flying towards Shane and hits the trainwreck. Tong grabs Shane and whips him into Phantam who hits another spinning Muy Thai style kick.
Andrew Fulton: Team Fairtex is not here to play this evening. They are the defending cup winners for a reason and this is complete dominance.
Jeremy Tucker: Tong and Phantam leap in the air and hit a double leg drop on Shane Lawson. Tong now grabs Shane and whips him into the ropes and hits a lightning fast belly to belly suplex. Phantam comes flying off the top turnbuckle with a corkscrew senton bomb.
Andrew Fulton: FAIRTEX BOMB!!!
Jeremy Tucker: Tong and Phantam stand on Shane and demand the referee makes the count.
ONE
..
TWO
.
THREE!!!!!!!!
DING DING DING
Andrew Fulton: Team Fairtex wins the match in quick and dominant fashion. I hope the OVERLORDS are paying close attention because they are about to get last years winners.
Jeremy Tucker: Funny Business had the match of the night so far, Better Than Sex had a squash match and now Team Fairtex just dominated their opponents. The OVERLORDS had a first round bye. Funny Business could have one hell of a night in store for them.
Andrew Fulton: I told you my money was on Team Fairtex to repeat as the cup winners.
The camera slowly pans up the aisle to show Team Fairtex laughing at their fallen opponents as they make their way through the curtains.
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:47:16 GMT -5
[From black.] [Were in Australia.] [Specifically were in Melbourne at the Rod Laver arena. Its the Anzac Cup and currently were just a few matches deep into the nights giant Tag Team Tournament.] [The setting is a somewhat nondescript locker room. Theres a bench, theres a shower, some mirrors and a couple of lockers. You get the idea.] [There is a crackle in the air.] [Seemingly out of nothingness a hole is ripped right out of the fabric of space, time, and reality. The hole gives an eerie purplish glow as it slowly enlarges until big enough for a grown man to step through.] [And step through he does.] [Eric Dane, as usual, is suited and booted in only the finest Italian tailored suit and dragon-skin boots. His eyes are covered by a pair of thirty-thousand dollar Maybach Sunshades, and his casual grin is plastered firmly across his face.] [Directly behind The Only Star, carrying his bags and dressed like a homeless dungeon master, Angus Skaaland steps through the rip in space-time as well. The duo are met by a slack-jawed Calico Rose and a spit-taking Impulse.] Eric Dane: Did we make it? [Angus throws up everything hes eaten this week.] Impulse: What. The. Crap? [As if by design the rip in reality slowly stitches itself back together behind Dane and Skaaland, and with a poof its like it was never there. Cally blinks, Impulse does not.] Eric Dane: The show. Did we make it? [Cally nods.] [Angus dry-heaves.] [Eric smirks.] [Impulse is not amused. He glances over at the recovering Angus Skaaland.] Impulse: Yep. Youre absolutely right. No more space-cakes. [Cally cringes.] Cally: What was that now? Impulse: Did you just see that? Cally: I did. Impulse: I rest my case. Eric Dane: Seriously. Did I make it? Or did we have to forfeit to that one guy and his partner the other guy?
Impulse: I mean, yeah, you made it. Tong and Phantom just squashed whoever they were against. Some other things happened, Funny Business and Sex and Violence went over. They changed the brackets up, I guess to piss people off or even the playing field or
you know, cause mass chaos.
Cally: Were up soon! Gonna go mangle some morons!
Eric Dane: Fantastic. Imma go change.
[Skaaland dry heaves again.]
Angus: I will never question Attila Balan ever again.
[Impulse and Cally roll their eyes in unison.]
[Cut.]
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:47:46 GMT -5
JEREMY TUCKER: Coming up next an interesting match as the team of El Exotico and Flamboyant Red take on the newly formed team of Alex Turner and CSK. This could be the dark horse of the cup.
ANDREW FULTON: ROXYYYYYY!!!!!!!
FRANK SALAZAR: Introducing at a combined weight of 325 pounds this is the team of EL EXOTICOOOOOOOOOO and the FLAMBOYANTTTTTTTT REDDDDDDDDD!!!!
Mind your business by C&C Music Factory hits as out comes El Exotico and his tag team partner. Flamboyant Red struts his way down the aisle to the ring as El Exotico makes his way up the ring steps and blows kisses towards the fans.
JEREMY TUCKER: This will be the most interesting match in the first round.
ANDREW FULTON: These two give me the creeps.
FRANK SALAZAR: Introducing their opponents. Weighing in tonight at 262 pounds from NEW HOPE, MINNESOTA this is TIMELESSSSSSS ALEXXXXX TURNERRRRRRR!!!!
Orion by Eternity begins to play as the fans are on their feet. Out comes Alex Turner with a smug look on his face. The fans begin to boo as they notice there is no Roxy on the stage with him.
JEREMY TUCKER: Well isnt this a shocking turn of events? Roxy isnt coming out to the ringiside area.
ANDREW FULTON: WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! I WANT A REFUND! I came here to see Roxy. THIS IS BLASPHAMY!
Frank Salazar: And his tag team partner, he weights in tonight at 245 pounds from the HOLLYWOOD HILLS. This is CHRISTIANNNNNNNN SEBASTIANNNNNNN KENNEDYYYYYYY!!!!!
King Nothing by Metallica blasts throughout the arena as the lights darken. Pyro goes off as CSK is shown kneeling at the top of the stage. As the music gets louder he slowly stands up and cracks his neck. Him and Turner exchange words and make their way down the aisle with a purpose as both men slide into the ring. CSK throws his robe off and marches towards his opponents as the referee pushes him and Turner back to their corner.
DING DING DING
JEREMY TUCKER: It looks like were going to start off with Alex Turner vs Flamboyant Red. Turner charges Red who sticks his head through the ropes and asks for a time out. The fans are laughing as Turner seems unimpressed.
ANDREW FULTON: Timeless isnt laughing about this but Im still confused on why there is no Roxy here this evening?
JEREMY TUCKER: Both men now go to lock up, Flamboyant Red goes behind Alex Turner and spanks him on the ass. Turner escapes, Red goes behind him and spanks him again. Turner escapes again and once again Red goes behind him and spanks him.
ANDREW FULTON: This is really creepy now. Alex is becoming more frustrated with each passing second.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner rakes the eyes, and goes behind Red and applies a headlock. Red starts kicking Turner in the back of the leg now. Red escapes the headlock, grabs the arm and flips Turner over, Turner rolls and gets to his feet and rakes the eyes of red.
ANDREW FULTON: I have no clue what Im watching here. But theres some woman at ringside screaming at CSK. He turns around and gets a horrified look on his face and quickly turns back to the match.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner now biting the hand of Flamboyant Red. This is very uncharacteristic of Alex Turner. Timeless now grabs the arm of Flamboyant Red and starts twisting it and twisting it and kicks him in the nuts. Red with an uppercut sends Turner into the ropes.
ANDREW FULTON: Who is this guy? This is not the Alex Turner Im used to seeing.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner off the ropes and blasts Red with a clothesline. Red looks visibly shaken as he gets to his feet, both men locking up now. Flamboyant Red moves in for a kiss, Turner drops the hands and gets kicked in the nuts by Red.
ANDREW FULTON: A kiss from another man or kicked in the nuts? Ill take the nut shot thank you!
JEREMY TUCKER: High roundhouse kick by Red sends Turner reeling. Back fist strike by Red as he poses for the crowd. Turner whipped into the ropes, he reverses it and hits an arm drag on Red. Turner now picks up Red, makes the tag to CSK.
ANDREW FULTON: Now lets see how these two work as a team, were getting our first look at them together.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner shoots Red into the ropes, kicks him in the midsection off the rebound and CSK hits the ropes and then a swinging neckbreaker on Red. CSK stretches his arms out and takes a bow to all four sides of the ring as Red rolls out of the ring.
ANDREW FULTON: Nothing wrong with a little showboating.
JEREMY TUCKER: Red quickly rolls back into the ring and dashes over to tag in El Exotico. The fans are going nuts as Exotico walks in the ring and blows kisses at CSK who appears repulsed. Both men locking up, CSK not taking Exotico seriously as he backs himself into a corner. El Exotico charges and CSK rolls out of the corner. CSK starts nailing Exotico with forearm after forearm after forearm.
ANDREW FULTON: Thats what happens when you blow unwanted kisses at someone.
JEREMY TUCKER: CSK with a mule kick and a spinning discuss punch as he makes the tag to Alex Turner. Timeless enters the ring and throws a few stiff shots to the chest of Exotico. Timeless whips Exotico into the ropes and hits an arm drag. Timeless spins around and takes a bow as well.
ANDREW FULTON: Beautiful arm drag, just beautiful Im going to cry it was so touching.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner pulls Exotico up and starts working on the arm turning it and bending the elbow back towards him. Exotico with a back forearm, Turner ducks and releases the arm to hit the ropes and as he charges Exotico, he ducks a clothesline and hits the ropes again , Turner ducks another clothesline and hits the ropes one more time but gets clubbed in the back of the head by Flamboyant Red much to the disapproval of the fans.
ANDREW FULTON: That was poetry in motion and Red had to go and ruin it.
JEREMY TUCKER: Exotico charges Turner and hits a running front kick. Exotico struts across the ring and blows a kiss to his fallen opponent. Exotico walks over and makes the tag to Flamboyant Red. He picks up Turner and hits a bearhug suplex.
ANDREW FULTON: Turner and CSK are not dominating this match as much as it would have looked like on paper.
JEREMY TUCKER: Red grabs Turner and shoots him into the ropes and hits a series of flying knee strikes. Red applies an arm bar and points towards CSK and winks at him. Red pulls back on the arm hard and then releases it only to get to his feet on jump on Turners arm.
ANDREW FULTON: Vegas is losing some serious money on this match.
JEREMY TUCKER: Red pulls Turner up and hits a high roundhouse kick sending Turner into Reds corner. Red makes the tag to El Exotico. Red choking Turner against the turnbuckles as Exotico comes into the ring and delivers a high kick to the face.
ANDREW FULTON: Turner is having his money maker beaten in the ring and I dont mean the one he makes babies with.
JEREMY TUCKER: Red grabs Turner by the head and runs him across to the other corner of the ring and smashes his head into the turnbuckle. Red now grabs Turner and whips him across the ring and delivers a knee to the midsection.
ANDREW FULTON: Whats this deal with knees lately? Everyone is obsessed with knees and low blows and of course ACW was the trend setter for nut shots, now everyone is doing them.
JEREMY TUCKER: Red grabs Turner and sends him flying toward Exotico who hoists him up in the air and hits a flapjack. Exotico stands over Turner and shakes his ass and grinds over the face of Turner and goes for the cover with his legs over Turners shoulders.
ONE
.
TWO
.
THR
ANDREW FULTON: CSK runs into the ring and blasted El Exotico with a super kick! CSK had seen enough of this male perversion taking place.
JEREMY TUCKER: CSK with right kick after right kick followed by running off the ropes and hitting a slap to the face of El Exotico followed up by a DDT. CSK now choking out El Exotico as the referee is trying to get him out of the ring.
ANDREW FULTON: Something is missing with Turner and CSK tonight. Maybe its the absence of Roxy? This match shouldnt have even been this close.
JEREMY TUCKER: CSK leaves the ring finally as Turner gets to his feet. He makes his way over to El Exotico and whips him into the ropes and hits the arm drag that gets a loud reaction from the fans.
ANDREW FULTON: Best damn arm drag in the business.
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner grabs El Exotico and hits an exploder suplex, and then picks him up and whips him into the ropes hitting a T Bone Suplex. The fans are on their feet and Turner makes the tag to CSK.
ANDREW FULTON: CSK with a sick smile on his face.
JEREMY TUCKER:Turner gives the signal and CSK smiles and nods as Turner bounces off the ropes and hits a dropkick on El Exotico who falls back into CSK who hoists him up into the air and hits the one winged electric chair.
ANDREW FULTON: THE ELITIST ASSHOLE!!!! Thats the name of his new finisher!!!!
JEREMY TUCKER: Turner goes flying across the ring and hits a dropkick on Red sending him onto the concrete floor as CSK goes for the cover.
ONE
..
TWO
..
THREE!!!!!!
ANDREW FULTON: They did it!!! The new team of CSK and Alex Turner have advanced to the quarter finals where they will face the Freak Angels. Well possibly Hells Bouncer and his partner.
DING DING DING
FRANK SALAZAR: Your winners of the match, CHRISTIAN SEBASTIAN KENNEDYYYYYYY AND ALEX TURNERRRRRRRRR!!!!!
JEREMY TUCKER: It wasnt pretty, but this new team did advance but the question remains is where is Roxy?
CSK and Turner continue to beat on El Exotico before several referees run down to break it up. CSK and Alex Turner give the fans a finger before walking back up the aisle to a loud reaction of cheers.
ANDREW FULTON: The quarterfinals should be rather interesting if the brackets play out how Vegas have the odds right now.
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:48:04 GMT -5
[We switch to the back and see Timeless after his match taking off his wrist tape and Tye Gibson comes charging into the room.]
Tye Gibson : Timeless! Congrats on your win and advancing into the second round, what are your thoughts on Roxy getting married?
Timeless : On WHAT!?
Tye Gibson : Married Sir. Its all over the net. Everywhere! Twitter has gone Viral, she eloped with some Zimbabwean on the set of Married at First Site.
Timeless : (grabbing Tye by the scruff) I will hurt you Gibson!
Tye Gibson : No, please! Dont! Its true. Look.
[Gibson gets out his phone and starts showing Timeless the news.
Timeless : .....................
Tye Gibson : Its everywhere. He wasnt even her assigned husband, and they only just met in some group setting, and she stole him from another bride and then on the spot got some priest to marry them. Its official!
Timeless : This cant be happening.
Tye Gibson : So you didnt know anything about it Sir?
Timeless : This cant be right! There must be some sort of explanation to what happened. I am going to have to call her up.
Tye Gibson : What about your next round match with the Freak Angels?
Timeless : You are asking me about the Freak Angels when Roxy has just gotten married? What is wrong with you man?
Tye Gibson : You are still in the tournament.
Timeless : I am WINNING the freaken tournament Tye! With or without Roxy! You think i need her to get past the Freak Angels?
Tye Gibson : Well, you seemed mighty off your game in the match with the Exoticos.
Timeless : It wasnt a match. It was a bye and we were just warming up and saving ourselves for the next three matches.
Tye Gibson : What abo ...
Timeless : Beat it Gibson!
[Timeless glares at Tye and pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. Tye watches on and there is obviously no answer.]
Tye Gibson : Maybe she is on her honeymoon?
[Superkick to Gibson sends him cannoning through the doorway. Timeless then hurls his phone as we switch too ....... ]
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:56:59 GMT -5
(The show returns after commercials for the latest movie releases and latest car models before returning to Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton who are joined by Team Fairtex.)
Jeremy Tucker: "We're being joined by Team Fairtex, who seem to be scouting the competition after their dominant performance."
Andrew Fulton: "The two time Anzac Cup Champions I might add."
Tong Fairtex: "Let me tell you something we're honored to be commentating any of these matches and let me tell you our opening round match was easy but 'The Bangkok Hitman and 'The Handsomest Face in SWAT' don't take the competition lightly. Team Fairtex is deadly serious about winning this tournament again."
Phantam Fairtex: "You got that right bro. We never ever take competitors lightly and never will."
Jeremy Tucker: "What do you think of The Freak Angels."
Tong Fairtex: "Dangerous and unpredictable. You have Dark Phoenix and Carpenter, who are not just sadistic and mean in the ring in singles matches. They can also be twice as sadistic and mean in tag team matches as well. Then you have Hell's Bouncer and Dravaka Drimstone, who are by and large tough but not on the same page or in the same building."
Phantam Fairtex: "No one has even seen the reject from Gods of War anywhere in the building and if Hell's Bouncer wins this match without him and manages to actually advance to the next round. That would be a miracle in itself."
Andrew Fulton: "Hell's Bouncer took too many shots to the head when he found Dravaka as his partner. This guy's at best mediocre and he's so lazy that he probably thinks getting a paycheck for showing up is too little for him."
Tong Fairtex: "in any case there's no backing out of this match or tournament."
Jeremy Tucker: "This is going to be a handicap match since Hell's Bouncer is probably going to be wrestling alone in this match."
Andrew Fulton: "The only good news is that nobody has to smell that reject from Game of Thrones."
Jeremy Tucker: "Well stranger things have happened and if Hell's Bouncer can pull this off. He may become the first individual to wrestle in a tag team tournament without a partner and win the Anzac Cup."
Phantam Fairtex: "Won't happen since you need a tag team partner."
Andrew Fulton: "Yeah with that brainless asshole of a partner. He'll be lucky to even be in the middle of the ring still standing with his hands raised."
Jeremy Tucker: "Let's not forget they are related and Carpenter is really pissed off over the fact that Hell's Bouncer won the XWCW Hardcore Title in the first and only XWCW show an d felt screwed when Soutter was awarded the Extreme Title despite him not wanting it. So he wants to take it out on Hell's Bouncer."
Andrew Fulton: "Yeah Soutter got the title compliments of that idiotic CEO Angela."
Tong Fairtex: "I hope you're willing to apologize to her, since our father, The Shootfighter, is married to her and he's our father if you forgot."
Andrew Fulton: "Okay....Okay! I'm sorry about that."
Jeremy Tucker: "Anyway, she's in attendance in the stadium luxury seats. Then there's The Hired Killers....."
Phantam Fairtex: "Our wives we might add......"
Andrew Fulton: "Oh they can kick my ass anytime and if they do it in bed I can prove what a real man can do....."
Jeremy Tucker: "Oh like when Jade wanted to blast your crotch for even insulting her and it would be double trouble with both of them."
Andrew Tucker: "Double the pleasure and double the fun......"
Team Fairtex: "And if you want a double fist in the face from us....."
Andrew Tucker: "Okay....Okay! No double mint twins for me."
Jeremy Tucker: "Let's not waste anymore time and go to the ring for the introductions."
Ring Announcer: "This next Anzac Cup First Round Match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Red Bank, NJ. They come in at a combined weight of 463lbs. They are Carpenter and Dark Phoenix The Freak Angels."
(A whistling comes across the speakers starting "Eye of the Storm" by Watt White as both come out from the back. No pyros, no flames, nothing. They move to the ramp, looks over the crowd, sinister smiles crossing their faces. The Freak Angels make their way to ringside as Carpenter saunters to the ring and Dark Phoenix slides under the ring slowly joining Dark Phoenix in their corner.)
Jeremy Tucker: "You could be looking at one of your future opponents."
Tong Fairtex: "Our money would be on them to get past Hell's Bouncer and Dravaka Drimstone. You could be right as well if we get past our next opponents who will be totally tough."
Ring Announcer: "Now introducing from Las Vegas, NV and Braslov, Romania respectively. They weigh in at a combined weight of 655lbs. He is the 'Saint of Sadistic' Dravaka Drimstone and the current XWCW Hardcore Champion Hell's Bouncer."
("Highway to Hell" by ACDC hits and Hell's Bouncer is standing on the ramp. He lifts his head up and out from behind his trenchcoat at a big mushroom cloud and a boom bellows, fire and fireworks explode and Hell's Bouncer power walks to the ring.)
Andrew Fulton: "Oh this is going to be real good."
Jeremy Tucker: "Hell's Bouncer is tough and he can hold his own."
Andrew Fulton: "He's an over rated mid-carder and his ring entrance is more exciting than he is."
Phantam Fairtex: "Hey if he's the XWCW Hardcore Champion he has to be good."
Jeremy Tucker: "We'll see what happens as the bell sounds and this match is underway. Dark Phoenix starts the match and he's pointing at you Team Fairtex....."
Dark Phoenix: "You're next after this asshole......"
Tong Fairtex: "Concentrate on the match and not on us. This is typical of any opponent and that's too many distractions."
Phantam Fairtex: "Not that it's happened to us."
Jeremy Tucker: "They meet in the center of the ring and circle as they exchange words. Dark Phoenix spits in Hell's Bouncer's face and takes a cheap shot at him. Hell's Bouncer returns the cheap shot with one of his own followed by a clothesline."
Andrew Fulton: "Dark Phoenix slides to his corner and Hell's Bouncer dares him to come out and fight like a man. Dark Phoenix obliges and they lock up and start exchanging forearms and elbows."
Tong Fairtex: "Fast action so far, but we'll see who breaks through the other's defenses and that could be Freak Angels."
Andrew Fulton: "Hell's Bouncer returns the favor and spits on Dark Phoenix and bodyslams him with authority and drops a series of elbows. He whips Dark Phoenix into the ropes and he runs right through him with a stiff clothesline. Carpenter is looking on with intense interest and he's wanting to give Hell's Bouncer the bitch slapping he so richly deserves and has been long avoiding."
Tong Fairtex: "That's the future and this is the present Fulton. Hell's Bouncer looks to be giving some one man hell to Freak Angels. Still who's defenses will be broken before this match is done."
Phantam Fairtex: "Hell's Bouncer whips Dark Phoenix into the corner and but Dark Phoenix rolls out of the way. He delivers a devastating series of kicks to the mid-section and head before making his way to the corner and quickly tagging in Carpenter who has a wild look on his face."
Jeremy Tucker: "Wild look is right and really sadistic is more like it."
Carpenter: "Watch your repeat turn into a defeat Team Fairtex!"
Phantam Fairtex: "Some tag teams never learn to concentrate on their opponents."
Andrew Fulton: "Carpenter's expression says it all as he continues the assault on Hell's Bouncer and without any partner to tag in. Hell's Bouncer's doomed to suffer in hell. Carpenter delivers a series of vicious elbows to the head and face."
Jeremy Tucker: "Carpenter attempts to whip Hell's Bouncer into the opposite corner but Hell's Bouncer reverses it sending Carpenter into it and gets avalanched by Hell's Bouncer. He charges again and is avalanched again."
Andrew Fulton: "That's the worst humping job I've seen. Fuck I can do better with a woman than Hell's Bouncer can with Carpenter."
Tong Fairtex: "Don't let him hear that. Anyway, the numbers game always catches up to you sooner or later and it could be that time as Dark Phoenix just entered the ring."
Jeremy Tucker: "You could be right. Anyway, what do you think of the other teams."
Phantam Fairtex: "Oh you mean the ones who actually showed up or the ones wanting a paycheck and a tournament on their Hall of Fame records or for their next wrestling match."
Jeremy Tucker: "Anyone of them."
Phantam Fairtex: "Let's see the Overrated's haven't been so mouthy ever since we took Victoria hostage and they never gave us our well derserved contract bye in this tournament. So whoever kicks their asses does us a favor."
Andrew Fulton: "How about your favorite team that made personal comments about you giving Industrial Man the virus."
Phantam Fairtex: "You know that proves our point about him being not just immature but it also proves his stupidity. Just like he's suddenly turned into a pirate. Please we heard better excuses from Captain Jack Sparrow from 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and they were better than Industrial Man's."
Jeremy Tucker: "Dark Phoenix just charged in and chopblocked Hell's Bouncer's leg before rolling out of the ring."
Tong Fairtex: "Good tag team strategy and as I mentioned the number's game just caught up with Hell's Bouncer."
Jeremy Tucker: "The odds are in Freak Angel's favor."
Phantam Fairtex: "My brother's always right about this."
Tong Fairtex: "You got that right."
Andrew Fulton: "Can anyone say future symbolic Hardcore Champion. Carpenter continues to work on the leg of Hell's Bouncer as Hell's Bouncer attempts to kick him away, but Carpenter's tenacious and quite aggressive. He returns the favor by dropping a devastating series of elbows."
Carpenter: "See that Team Fairtex. You're next."
Tong Fairtex: "If we're next it won't be a handicap match but a two on two best team wins."
Jeremy Tucker: "Carpenter continues to work the leg by pulling it like he's in a rowboat. Hell's Bouncer's in pain but he refuses to tap out or submit."
Carpenter: "I'm the real Hardcore Champion Hell Boy! Get used to it!"
Andrew Fulton: "I love Carpenter. He's brutally frank and better yet hardcore tough and he's so humble to a fault."
Jeremy Tucker: "He's as humble as a mad slasher. Hell's Bouncer delivers a series of stiff forearms to Carpenter's face and forces him to release the hold. He can barely stand up as he delivers a series of stiff jabs to Carpenter's face and head. He sends Carpenter onto his butt."
Andrew Fulton: "Carpenter counters with a shot to Hell's Bouncer's crotch potatoes followed by a series of European uppercuts. He goes over and tags in Dark Phoenix who gets onto the top rope and missile dropkicks Hell's Bouncer. What incredible teamwork compared to You know who and his....ahem....team." Phantam Fairtex: "That's because Carpenter and dark Phoenix are family......."
Andrew Fulton: "Speaking of which what do you think of Funny Business's shots at your father."
Phantam Fairtex: "Let me tell you something wrestling is made up of dynasties and Industrial Man had better get used to that. Here's some examples starting in SWAT. There's Phoenix and his son Dark Phoenix whose in the ring with his uncle Carpenter. Then there's us, Team Fairtex, and our wives, The Hired Killers, Jade and Kim. Oh and there was also Dragon Belt and Dragonatrix, who's son just debuted this year named Little Dragon. Then there's the Morelli's, brother and sister I might add....."
Andrew Fulton: "You may."
Phantam Fairtex: "Then he also complains about veteran wrestlers who stay around too long. There's some who do that and there are others who are still popular who earned their fame in SWAT. So Funny Business better stop inhaling the laughing gas and actually use their brains and respect those competitors who could some day kick the shit out of them."
Jeremy Tucker: "dark Phoenix continues to work on Hell's Bouncer injured leg and now he grapevines it continuing to apply pressure on that leg. Hell's Bouncer's in pain and he's definitely going through hell."
Tong Fairtex: "He certainly is and how long can he hold out is anyone's guess."
Dark Phoenix: "This is going to be you Team Fairtex!"
Tong Fairtex: "Go fuck your straight jacket Dark Phoenix."
Andrew Fulton: "You can tell he hates your guts along with Hell's Bouncer's too. Now if he just asked Psychotic Goth he would have had a dependable partner and that would have been a hell of a team but noooo he chose a lazy no brained asshole and now he's paying for that lack of judgement."
Jeremy Tucker: "Hell's Bouncer manages to get to a vertical base and manages to counter barely with an enzigiuri to Dark Phoenix's skull. Both men are down but without a partner to tag in Hell's Bouncer is helpless and for the picking and Carpenter's fresh and ready."
Tong Fairtex: "That's right Jeremy. Hell's Bouncer's back to his feet and limping badly with his back turned as Carpenter also comes off with a missile dropkick to Hell's Bouncer's back sending him down to the canvas again. Looks like his defenses are about to come down as predicted."
Jeremy Tucker: "You said whoever's defenses break will lose or something like that."
Carpenter: "How's it feel to be in real hell chump......! This is going to be you Fairtex's and we're going to buzz saw through you!"
Phantam Fairtex: "Hey go back to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie set where you two jerks belong!"
Andrew Fulton: "You two seem to be telling each other straight."
Phantam Fairtex: "They talk trash to us and we do in turn."
Jeremy Tucker: "Carpenter starts stomping on Hell's Bouncer's bad leg and is now working on Hell's Bouncer's back. Carpenter's on a mission and he's determined to accomplishment. Carpenter's calling to Dark Phoenix and he throws Carpenter a baseball bat in to the ring."
Andrew Fulton: "Carpenter wins up and he swings and he hits Hell's Bouncer's head right out of the ball park. There's your future Hardcore Champion right there in the ring. He places the baseball bat between the crook of Hell's Bouncer's injured leg and his knee to his back as he continues to apply pressure. The look on Carpenter's face is nothing short of scary and he would scare even Dravaka Drimstone."
Jeremy Tucker: "So that's why you think Hell's Bouncer will lose this opening round tag team match."
Andrew Fulton: "Yeah because Dravaka never shows up if he even does show up despite signing to wrestle in SWAT and being paid good money to be lazy."
Jeremy Tucker: "Thank you, Mr. Conspiracy Theorist. The referee continues to check on Hell's Bouncer's condition but Hell's Bouncer refuses to tap out or submit despite the pain and punishment."
Tong Fairtex: "Too much pride and ego can carry you so far and Hell's Bouncer is just running on plain guts. He should just tap out or submit and wrestle another day after healing."
Carpenter: "Hey referee ring the bell and let us have a piece of Team Fairies!"
Phantam Fairtex: "Go back to sleep and continue to dream in your acid induced Wonderland Freak Angels!"
Andrew Fulton: "He should follow what Carpenter's saying along with you Team Fairtex and end his suffering. Carpenter once again tags in Dark Phoenix and both double team Hell's Bouncer before leaving the ring."
Jeremy Tucker: "Dark Phoenix continues to stomp on the leg of Hell's Bouncer, who's face is a mask of pain and agony and once again the referee checks but Hell's Bouncer refuses to tap out or submit."
Andrew Fulton: "Himbo Bouncer's typical M.O. He's too brainless to tap out or submit. Dark Phoenix cinches in a figure four and he's obsessed with helping Carpenter break himbos leg....."
(The ringsiders cheer as Dravaka Drimstone makes his way to ringside and to Hell's Bouncer's corner.)
Andrew Fulton: "Oh great now we need to fumigate the whole stadium since the reject from Game of Thrones finally decided to show up and help Hell's Bouncer if he can do that. He smells like he ate the whole buffet table for the roster and drank all the beer and spirits at the table too."
Jeremy Tucker: "He came at a very important time. He storms the ring and tries to help but the referee stops him and orders him out of the ring."
Andrew Fulton: "Two airheads that are perfect together as teammates. Now compared to Team Fairtex who's a well oiled tag team machine."
Phantam Fairtex: "Suck up."
Andrew Fulton: "Dark Phoenix takes advantage of the distraction and illegally tags in carpenter who resumes using the figure four. Hell's Bouncer tries and he strains but manages to reverse the figure four but Carpenter is too close to the ropes and grabs them."
Jeremy Tucker: "Dravaka wants to tag in the worst way possible. Hell's Bouncer finally sees Dravaka in his corner as he's pulling himself up by the ropes. Carpenter tags in dark Phoenix, but Hell's Bouncer pulls down the ropes and Dark Phoenix flies out of the ring and onto the concrete floor right in front of us."
Tong Fairtex: "We give him a perfect three buzzes and a Shazam!"
(They buzz three times and yell Shazam.)
Andrew Fulton: "Dravaka Dimwit shoukd wait until he's tagged in but noooo he goes after Dark Phoenix and delivers a series of headbutts. Himbo reaches his corner but doesn't see Dimwit anywhere. Carpenter stinger splashes Himbo and he slumps in to his corner."
Jeremy Tucker: "Dravaka finally returns to his corner and tags himself in and clotheslines an unexpecting Carpenter. He does the same to Dark Phoenix who's still the unofficial man in the ring. He throws both men out of the ring and bellows."
Andrew Fulton: "Whew can you smell his breath a mile away from here. He's definitely got in to the beer display at the buffet table. Dark Phoenix re-enters the ring and is clotheslined again. He whips him into the corner and secretly tags in Carpenter who waits until the last moment and he waits as Dimwit charges and is missile dropkicked at the last moment."
Jeremy Tucker: "That's Dravaka Drimstone. Carpenter delivers a series of knee strikes that seem to bounce off Dravaka who simply absorbs it. The look on his face is just as scary as Freak Angel's expressions and he seems to be smiling and motioning for more punishment. Carpenter obliges and delivers punch after punch as Dravaka wants even more punishment and Dravaka counters with a headbutt flooring Carpenter."
Phantam Fairtex: "No pain no brain as they say."
Andrew Fulton: "An intelligent way to also use your head if there was a brain in that thick skull of his. Dravaka whips Carpenter into the corner and trainwrecks him. He whips him into the opposite corner and does the same thing. He picks up Carpenter and he bodyslams him with authority followed by a big splash."
Jeremy Tucker: "Dark Phoenix comes in and wedgies Dravaka. He stumbles and Hell's Bouncer reaches out and secretly tags himself into the ring again. He clotheslines Dark Phoenix off the ring apron and then delivers one to Carpenter. He does it a couple more times and before signaling the end....."
Andrew Fulton: "Yeah for who the better team or for him and Dimwit. He sets up Carpenter for the Chokebomb but Carpenter fights his way out of it. He delivers another wedgie to Hell's Bouncer's crotch and wraps him up into a small package and the referee makes the count.....One.....Two.....Three."
Ring Announcer: "Your winner at 16minutes The Freak Angels."
Jeremy Tucker: "The Freak Angels advance to the next round of the Anzac Cup 2018 Tournament and we also thank you for also being here at ringside with us Team Fairtex."
Tong Fairtex: "It was an honor being out here and wish us luck with our next opponent."
Andrew Fulton: "LIke I mentioned too and I might add I did call it."
Jeremy Tucker: "Oh no the Freak Angels have just stopped by us....."
Carpenter: "You won't be celebrating any fucking repeat Team Fairtex!"
Tong Fairtex: "We'll see and it won't be as easy like with Hell's Bouncer since you'll be seeing double."
(Ring and Security Personnel come between them as both teams motion towards each other hurling insults as the ringsiders cheer and urge them on.)
Jeremy Tucker: "These two teams want to get it on."
Andrew Tucker: "Come on let them fight in the ring and see who advances without a bracket pairing."
Jeremy Tucker: "Meanwhile in the ring something's going on between Hell's Bouncer and Dravaka Drimstone."
Andrew Fulton: "Looks like Hell's Bouncer just can't stand Dravaka's breath."
Dravaka Drimstone: "I apologize for my lateness....."
Hell's Bouncer: "Then how come your breath smells like you just got drunk....."
Dravaka Drimstone: "Couldn't help it. There was so much beer and liquor I just could resist and I love drinking to get myself ready for this match."
Hell's Bouncer: "You got drunk just to get yourself prepared for this match."
Dravaka Drimstone: "That's just me. I promose I'll never do it again if we tag again."
Hell's Bouncer: "Fine I'll accept your apology."
(They embrace and he starts to leave but spins around and knocks Dravaka out with the Hardcore Championship Belt. He starts to beat Dravaka with it and then sets him up and executes a chokebomb before leaving the ring.)
Andrew Fulton: "Now that's the Hell's Bouncer we all know and love and he just gave Dravaka Dimwit a piece of his mind."
Jeremy Tucker: Meanwhile the Freak Angels and Team Fairtex gave each other a piece of their minds. You can bet if these two teams inevitably meet in the ring it's going to be lots of bad blood and speaking of which. You can bet there's going to be lot's of bad blood between Carpenter and Hell's Bouncer in the near future. Right now don't go away after these messages there's going to be more action in the 2018 Anzac Cup Tournament."
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:57:23 GMT -5
"The Devil Beneath My Feet" by Marilyn Manson hits and both Eric Dane and Impulse head down to the ring, they are accompanied by Calico rose, in the ring awaiting them are Frostbite and Mike Maddox.
Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A FIRST ROUND ANZAC CUP MATCH AND SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL ... IN THE RING AT THIS TIME, THE TEAM OF MIKE MADDOX AND FROSTBITE ... RANK AND FILE!!! AND THEIR OPPONENTS, ACCOMPAINED TO THE RING BY CALICO ROSE ... THE ONLY STAR ERIC DANE .... IMPULSE ... THE NOODLE INCIDENT!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Ref calls for the bell and this one is under way. Frostbite and Dane starting it out for each respective team.
Chop by Dane, then another, then a snap mare and drop kick to back of Frostbites neck.
Andrew Fulton : Man, how about the uproar from the promos for this match Jerry.
Frostbite still on the ground, and Dane runs the ropes and sliding clotheslines Frosty.
Jeremy Tucker : What promos? Maddox didnt even deliver one, as per usual.
Tag by Dane to Impulse, Impulse climbs the ropes and Dane lifts Frosty up for a belly to back suplex and as he comes down Impulse flies into the ring with a swinging neck breaker on Frosty.
Andrew Fulton : Oh, testy.
Impulse bounces off the ropes and hits a sliding leg drop. Then tags Dane back in.
Jeremy Tucker : Fuck him, the guy is a disgrace and a blight to our game, he can piss off back to his crappy video rps after this first round loss and do us all a favour and never come back here again.
Dane comes back in the ring and Impulse Irish whips him at Dane who delivers a perfect standing drop kick to the running in Frostbite.
Andrew Fulton : Wow. At least he didnt just recycle his old 45 pager like his partner Frosty did.
Jeremy Tucker : Nah, cause we called his ass out on that shit when his friend Enigma got busted for the same crap.
Dane flips Frosty with a German Suplex, then its a Northern Lights suplex, and then a Exploder.
Andrew Fulton : Maddox not looking too confident on the outside and why would he, he can pray Frosty dont make the tag, cause these guys are not in the same ball park as the Noodles!
Jeremy Tucker : Not even in same league. They are from the phone it in rehash rp fed down the road SEE, and they can piss off back there! Frosty is ok, i dont think he saw the full scope of his actions, but he is tainted by the stink of the society and Mike Maddox and their stench sticks!
Andrew Fulton : Look at the Tron!
Jeremy Tucker : Damn straight! Dane glares at Maddox, and throws a wasted Frosty to him for the tag. Time to pay the piper fool!
Andrew Fulton : You really need to be more unbiased in your commentary Jerry.
Jeremy Tucker : Thats rich coming from the likes of YOU!
Maddox charges Dane and Dane catches him with a drop toe hold. Dane then slides around on the back of Maddox mocking his wrestling skills, lets them both get to their feet, and WHAM! Slaps him right in the mouth.
Andrew Fulton : Take that bitch! Maddox rages and lunges at Dane, who ducks and gets caught by Impulse with a hard forearm. Dane tags him in and he bounces off the ropes into a tornado DDT, he covers and at two, pulls Maddox back up. Dane was yelling not yet!
Jeremy Tucker : Frostbite runs back in and Dane discuss clotheslines him to New Freaken Zealand!!!
Andrew Fulton : The only question Jerry, to break the 4th wall, is who takes the pin, the no show, or the recycler.
Jeremy Tucker : That is the question for the ages.
Andrew Fulton : Impulse up to the top rope
Jeremy Tucker : SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON MADDOX!
Andrew Fulton : Dane grabs Frosty and hoists him up ... GHOSTBUSTER!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Double cover on Frostbite and Maddox! ONE ................. TWO ................ THREE!!!!
Andrew Fulton : The Noodle Incident advance to the second round, and Rank and File are out of HERE!
Frank Salazar : WINNERS OF THE MATCH .... THE NOODLE INCIDENT!!!
Jeremy Tucker : Coming up next folks, the last of our first round matches, which see Bro Code against Vive La Revolution. The winner will meet up with The Noodle Incident in the next round.
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:57:41 GMT -5
[Bad Boy Skepta hits and Calum Morgan and Paul Blair make their way down to the ring, already waiting in there is Viva La Revolution.]
Frank Salazar : LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL... MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING ... BRITAINS NUMBER ONE BAD BOY ,,, CALUM MORGAN ... THE RULER PAUL BLAIR .... BRO CODE ....
Jeremy Tucker : Blair and Morgan slide into the ring and bum rush Viva La Revolution! Morgan with a spear on Herrera and Blair with a double ax handle to the back of the neck of Hector.
Andrew Fulton : LOOK OUT FRANK!
Jeremy Tucker : Salazar is out of there! Blair and Morgan with a handful of hair each, and ram the heads of Eric and Hector together, meeting of the minds.
Andrew Fulton : I wouldnt say minds. Meeting of the skulls more like it, not much mind in there.
Jeremy Tucker : Morgan whips Hector into Blair and Blair drop kicks him.
Andrew Fulton : Morgan grabs Herrera and just full on boots him, right in the balls! Ouch! Them poor poor poor VIRGIN balls!
Jeremy Tucker : Blair DDTs Hector.
Andrew Fulton : Morgan with a scorpion death drop on Eric!
Jeremy Tucker : Blair head butts Hector. Then tosses him to the outside.
Andrew Fulton : Calum nails Eric with a piledriver.
Jeremy Tucker : Blair with a back cracker on Eric!
Andrew Fulton : Calum with a curb stomp on Eric.
Jeremy Tucker : Eric groggily tries to get to his feet ... CALUM WITH A POP UP EUROPEAN UPPERCUT INTO A CUTTER!!! BEING BADDD!!!!! Cover by Calum on Eric .... .ONE ......................... TWO ................... THREEEEEEE!!!!!! Bro Code WIN! They just decimated Viva La Revolution!
Andrew Fulton : What a statement! Look out Noodle Incident! Bro code just made the 2nd Round!
Frank Salazar : WINNERS OF THE MATCH AND ADVANCING TO THE SECOND ROUND .... BROOOOO COOOOOODE!!!!!
[Calum Morgan rolls Eric out of the ring towards Hector on the outside, then slides outside, and hoists both up, one onto each shoulder, and starts making his way up the ramp.]
[Calum heads into the back, the camera following him, both Eric and Hector knocked out on a shoulder each, he takes one turn, then another, then another.]
[Calum then comes to a doorway. Standing in front of it is Joey Morelli and Joe Pesci. They smile at Calum and open a door each and the door shows the outside of the arena. Pesci then draws a kitchen knife from the back of his pants, stares at it and then at Eric and then pats Calum on the back well done.]
Calum Morgan : (tossing them both out the doorway to the outside) Get to steppin! And dont EVER let us see your virgin ass around here again!
Andrew Fulton : Shown the door, LITERALLY! Last we will ever see of them clowns in these parts. Bring on the second round!
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:57:56 GMT -5
(Team Fairtex is resting up for their next round opponents and staying loose and watching the first round highlights on an IPad as a Reporter comes into their lockerroom.)
Reporter: "Congratulations on your first round tag team match."
Tong Fairtex: "Thanks and if you think we're going to be over confident in the second round. Then you have another thing coming and are underestimating our determination to repeat as Anzac Cup Champions."
Phantam Fairtex: "You see we're a very disciplined and well oiled tag team machine. We're only focused on one goal and that's our next opponents and nothing else."
Reporter: "You seemed to have had some very interesting comments about Freak Angels during their match and both teams wanted to get it on."
Tong Fairtex: "Yeah typical macho bullshit between both teams, but let me tell you something it's what happens in the ring that counts and not how much you can run your mouths. Well if we do meet and that depends on our performances tonight. We'll see who's able to back up the trash talk."
Phantam Fairtex: "Kind of like when to students decide to meet in the bathroom, street, alley, park or even on some dusty road to settle their issues like real boys. They meet and see who can back up their trash talk. I mean watch any youtube fight video and you'll see what I mean. Same with our teams."
Reporter: "You know Industrial Man and Beelzebozo have been taking shots at you calling you an embarrassment if you repeat as Anzac Cup Champions."
Tong Fairtex: "You know what would really be embarrassing even more. If someone who does a bad robot dance and a clown who smells worse than Dravaka Drimstone when he gets drunk win the tournament. I mean what does it tell you when Industrial Man, the so-called International Champion, needs to take Prozac just to pump himself up with energy and then struts around like he's the ever legendary washed up Hulk Hogan and then snorts steam like Popeye the Sailor Man after gulping down spinach."
Phantam Fairtex: "That's like so embarrassing you know and let's not forget Funny Business turned on the fans. Now I can bet he's probably going to accuse us of giving him a computer virus....."
Tong Fairtex: "Sorry he already has done that already."
Phantam Fairtex: "See Industrial Man gave that virus to me."
Tong Fairtex: "Industrial Man why don't you just rob an electronics store of their Fix It Stick supply and stick a couple in your neck nodes and see if you can recover from Beelzebozo's virus. Hell you can even attract a female cyborg if you look like Frankenstein."
Reporter: "Do you think Freak Angels or Funny Business will interfere with your next round match."
Tong Fairtex: "We take all possibilities into account. We're not that stupid as you think we are and we never will take any possibility lightly. That's why we're the current Anzac Cup Champions."
Reporter: "Thank you for your comments and good luck in the next round."
Phantam Fairtex: "You know what they say about luck."
Tong Fairtex: "Yeah you make your own luck and Lady Luck will always be there because she's the queen."
(The Reporter leaves and they get back to watching the first round highlights on their IPad as the scene slowly fades to black.)
|
|
SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 23, 2019 22:58:11 GMT -5
The scene opens to a sad looking James Feirce.
James looks at the camera and just shakes his head like the camera man had just kicked his favorite hound. Why would he kick ole Lucky? He ain't never bit, well, err that's false, but ole Lucky is a good dog. Sometimes, but that ain't the point. James looks like he just lost his BFF, but the sadder thing is he didn't.
That was lost when Triple V burnt James causing sever beard trauma.
That may have been lost when James was left to Triple V and his goons.
Or possibly that was lost the day James was brought in to carry a group when he was content on leading the life of a hillbilly cult leader or dabbled in completive eating that was also a world class shiner by trade.
Don't be sad James, be relieved.
Just be happy.
And we fade to a happy James
Which is a scary James.
|
|