Post by The Big Kahuna on May 2, 2019 22:53:06 GMT -5
Live & ON Demand from Jackson, California | April 26, 2019
Andrew: Thank you Tony! What a gracious welcome it has been here tonight already. And of course, a hearty Saturday night welcome to all of you out there watching tonight's action across the globe! I am Andrew Knightswallows and we are here tonight in beautiful Jackson California, where in just a few moments, The Big Kahuna will be coming out to talk about his newest venture into the wrestling world, and really, why we are all here, the E I W L!
I cannot stress just how glad I am to have wrestling back here in Jackson County. These fans deserve it so much.
Anthony: I know you have seen so much great wrestling around these parts Andy, what kind of things do you expect we can see out of the EIWL?
Andrew: Well I've had multiple chances now to sit down with The Big Kahuna and it's been an absolute blast. He is such a talented man and really knows his wrestling history. It's been a privilege to get this opportunity to be around the ring again, and I really cannot wait to see what he has in store tonight!
Kahuna soaks in the renewed roars from the crowd before moseying on up near the ring. He walks around the ring, greeting fans along the way. He makes his way over to Anthony and Andrew. They both stand up for a brief moment to shake The Big Kahuna’s hand.
Anthony: Here he is folks, the man who put this all together – THE BIG KAHUNA!
Kahuna grabs a microphone off of the table and gets into the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. He gets to his feet quickly and addresses the crowd.
Kahuna: JACKSON CALIFORNIA! It is great to be here! Thank you. Thank you all so much for opening up your hearts…and your community to me..and to all of the EIWL. And for being here on an absolutely gorgeous Saturday evening!
Now tonight isn't possible without so many people and so much effort. Because I came here to Jackson six months ago with an idea...and a plan. And six months later, I can stand here before you and say that the EIWL is officially OPEN FOR BUSINESS! Get your applications in now!
Because I'm here to announce tonight that the first four wrestlers to sign up are guaranteed a shot at the title! A four person tournament over our next two shows will determine who will be crowned as the new EIWL's World Heavyweight Champion!
Kahuna: And of course, what good is a champion....Without a belt?...BRING OUT THE BELT!
Kahuna shouts towards the entrance to bring out the belt, clearly expecting an assistant to bring out the championship belt.
“BOOOOOOOOOM!” The opening of “Remote Control” by the Beastie Boys plays on the speakers and a tall, bulky man makes his way out of the entrance. He is carrying the EIWL Heavyweight Championship Belt over his shoulder. But Kahuna is clearly stunned and upset. The man starts walking toward the ring and stops just outside it, staring up at a dazed Kahuna in the middle of the ring.
Anthony: Andy, I’m not sure what’s going on here, who IS THIS GUY?
Andrew: It’s Thumper! Kahuna’s old tag-team partner from the EIWL!
Thumper: The EIWL died 20 years ago. You should know that.
Kahuna: Thumper…What..in.the...HELL! do you think you're doing with that! What the hell do you even want anyways, huh?
This was going to be MY night. Where things go right, and we put the EIWL out there. But oh no, of course you just have to stick your nose in, because you want someone else’s glory! You always did this!
But...but...but..you didn’t build this!
Kahuna motions around, almost nervously now.
Kahuna: You didn’t build anything! You NEVER did! But oh, go on, let's have it out in front of everyone.
Go ahead, what have you done to deserve any of this? You were the veteran out there and still, I CARRIED YOU! And instead of ever being thankful, you blew it all up! Literally! The ring, the arena, the —
Thumper: BECAUSE I HAD TO! I had to. I destroyed what you built. I also destroyed a lot of what others had built…But it was worth it. And it’s always been worth it.
I’ve been waiting all this time for you to poke your head up again just so I’d get this chance. Twenty-some years later, and here you still are, pretending to be something you’re not.
I’m going to put you down for good this time!
Thumper throws down his mic and the belt. He dashes into the ring.
Kahuna: Yah, get in here ol’ man! You’re goin’ through that goddamned table before this night is over!
Kahuna motioned over to the announcer’s table, tossing the microphone back towards Andrew and Anthony.
Andrew: I think we just got ourselves a table match!
Anthony: Former partners squaring off in will be the EIWL’s inaugural match! A makeshift referee has just ran into the ring, so we’re ready to go! Let’s get to the action!
The Big Kahuna Vs. Thumper
They lock up. The Big Kahuna goes for a vertical suplex, but Thumper blocks it. Thumper goes for a kick to the midsection, but The Big Kahuna counters it with a dragon screw. In turn, Thumper counters it with an enzuigiri. Thumper goes for a faceslam, but The Big Kahuna blocks it. The Big Kahuna takes Thumper down with a DDT. The Big Kahuna gives the sign for the elbowdrop. The Big Kahuna hits Thumper with an elbowdrop. The Big Kahuna hits a punch on Thumper. The Big Kahuna runs into the ropes. Thumper hits The Big Kahuna with a kick. Thumper goes for a double underhook suplex, but The Big Kahuna blocks it. The Big Kahuna hits Thumper with a punch. The Big Kahuna whips Thumper into the ropes. The Big Kahuna uses a flying clothesline on Thumper. The Big Kahuna runs into the ropes. Thumper goes for an inverted atomic drop, but The Big Kahuna blocks it.
Andrew: Tony, these two men know each other inside and out. Neither one can seem to get the upper hand early on…
Anthony: Absolutely, it’s still early but they’ve gone blow for blow thus far. And Thumper has yet to really capitalize on his size advantage.
Andrew: Well, they trained together for years on end. They probably know each others’ strengths and weaknesses better than their own...Watch out Tony, because if Thumper doesn’t think he can take ’em he won’t hesitate to fight dirty. It could get nasty out there REALLY quick!
The Big Kahuna executes a headsmash into the turnbuckle on Thumper. The Big Kahuna kicks Thumper. The Big Kahuna hits Thumper. The crowd is cheering on The Big Kahuna. The Big Kahuna punches Thumper. There are lots of chants for The Big Kahuna. Thumper punches The Big Kahuna. The crowd is cheering on Thumper. Thumper punches The Big Kahuna. Thumper is getting a good reaction from the crowd. The Big Kahuna kicks Thumper. The Big Kahuna executes a clothesline on Thumper. The Big Kahuna nails Thumper with a DDT. The Big Kahuna has the crowd going wild. The Big Kahuna gives the sign for the elbowdrop. The Big Kahuna goes for an elbowdrop, but Thumper rolls out of the way. Thumper goes for a gutwrench suplex, but The Big Kahuna counters it with a backdrop. The Big Kahuna nails Thumper with a clothesline. The Big Kahuna whips Thumper into the ropes. The Big Kahuna executes a facerake on Thumper.
The Big Kahuna goes for a DDT, but Thumper blocks it. Thumper kicks The Big Kahuna. The Big Kahuna kicks Thumper. The Big Kahuna has the crowd going wild. The Big Kahuna kicks Thumper. The Big Kahuna has the crowd going wild. Thumper chops The Big Kahuna. There are lots of chants for Thumper. Thumper punches The Big Kahuna. There are lots of chants for Thumper. The Big Kahuna punches Thumper. The crowd is behind The Big Kahuna all the way. The Big Kahuna uses a Samoan Drop on Thumper. The Big Kahuna runs into the ropes. The Big Kahuna misses with a clothesline. The Big Kahuna hits Thumper with a kick. The Big Kahuna hits Thumper with a headsmash into the turnbuckle. The Big Kahuna takes Thumper down with a low blow. The Big Kahuna uses a facerake on Thumper. The Big Kahuna whips Thumper into the ropes, but Thumper reverses it. Thumper misses with a clothesline. Thumper misses with an elbow. Thumper goes for a side suplex, but The Big Kahuna blocks it.
Anthony: And Thumper just cannot connect with anything right now! Kahuna only faring a little bit better, but he is blocking nearly everything that Thumper can throw at him.
Andrew: We know from talking to Kahuna this past week, the skills are still there. I certainly don’t think he expected to be wrestling this week! But an impressive showing for the once retired fighter, that’s for sure!
Anthony: Still a chance to turn things around for Thumper. He’s obviously come here and started something for a reason.
The Big Kahuna runs into the ropes. The Big Kahuna takes Thumper down with a clothesline. The Big Kahuna uses a low blow on Thumper. The Big Kahuna goes for a punch, but Thumper blocks it. Thumper takes The Big Kahuna down with a back suplex. Thumper takes The Big Kahuna down with an elbowsmash. Thumper goes for a kick to the midsection, but The Big Kahuna counters it with a legsweep. The Big Kahuna hits a facerake on Thumper. The Big Kahuna uses a clothesline on Thumper. The Big Kahuna goes for a spinebuster slam, but Thumper counters it with a kneelift. In turn, The Big Kahuna counters it with a side step. The Big Kahuna throws Thumper out of the ring. The Big Kahuna goes outside the ring.
Andrew: HEY PARTNER, WE’VE GOT COMPANY!
Anthony: I’m out!
Kahuna slowly gets up and the referee raises his hand in the air to another loud roar of the crowd. Kahuna stumbles a moment as the ref lets his hand go.
He walks over and kicks Thumper in the side of the gut. Thumper doesn't even flinch, completely knocked out. Kahuna slowly walks over to the steps where Thumper left the belt. He reaches for it and as he thrusts it in the air, there is a huge eruption from the crowd.
He picks up the microphone also dropped by Thumper and climbs back into the ring with the belt across his shoulder.
Kahuna: As I WAS SAYYIINNNGGG!!
The audience cheers and laughs. Kahuna clutches the belt and again raises it into the air.
Kahuna: Who wants this!?!? I need four wrestlers! And ain't nobody, no punks, going to get in our way towards greatness!