Post by MitchAllen on Jun 24, 2019 20:25:47 GMT -5
"Today is my last day!" a boppy and overly jaunty Mila Rader exclaimed as she entered the office, filled with joy and a smile to match, she slammed a paper down onto a table and tapped it for extra attention in front of a well-dressed woman, in black heels, a gray colored suit with a skirt, and a white blouse with black-rimmed glasses which sat on the tip of her nose and a pad and pen in hand. She picked up the paper and gave it a once over as the peppy Mila plopped herself down on a chair in front of her anxiously chewed bubble gum and tapped her fingers on the armrests of the chair.
The well dressed, business looking woman smiled a smile of a business savvy woman and not one that was genuine in nature. "Yes, Mila. Today is your last day of anger management. How does that make you feel?" The business savvy woman asked. A counselor, perhaps? "How about you just sign the paper and I can go home?" Mila questioned, her eagerness consuming her entire being. The counselor looked to her, waiting for her to calm but, she knew that wouldn't happen. "Mila, you know I cannot do that."
The counselor said and just like that, all of Mila's movements stopped. The chewing, the tapping, the eagerness in her body. She now appeared annoyed, perturbed, as her eyes narrowed. She leaned in slightly and after a few moments, she let out a sigh, as she then appeared to relax. "I know. I know." She said as she sat back, becoming a little more comfortable and so did the counselor, though not as much if course. Still needed to keep that professional posture. "I just want to be done with all of this." Mila said as she looked slightly defeated.
"I know that you do, Mila. Believe me. We just have this final therapy session to go and then you can return to work." The counselor sat further back in her chair, as she kept the notes on her lap in front of her, as she looked across to Mila, who looked directly back at her. "I am curious though, Mila." The counselor started, as she let the sentence hang in the air a bit, waiting to see if Mila would respond in some way, shape. or form. But, she kept quiet. "A few days ago, I received a call from LifCo Technologies and they said you had resigned."
Mila looked annoyed at the counselor and almost scared. Like a child whose parent caught them with dessert just before dinner. "They called and told you a few days ago to let you know and you kept having me come back?" Mila questioned, feeling betrayed. "I didn't do anything, Mila. You made a choice to not say anything, to return to each therapy session." The counselor replied. "I'm not paying for this." Mila said, in a tome of irritated sincerity, as the tapping and chewing began again.
She moved to get up. "No, Mila. Please sit. You will not be charged. I promised. Your previous employer paid for all the sessions ahead of time. Please sit and finish." The counselor urged as Mila looked to her. "But, what is the point? You know that there is no purpose to this anymore, Dr. Price!" Mila said, she still felt betrayed by all of this so, her tone was harsh, annoyed. Dr. Price smiled, this time more sincere. "But, there is Mila. You didn't have to come anymore and yet here you arrived every day you were meant to. This is your last session. Why not sit and hash everything out?"
Price wondered and while Mila was incredibly hesitant, she eventually sat down and looked to Price. And with a sigh and great hesitation, she asked, "So, where do we go from here?" Mila wondered as Price appeared as though she had accomplished something in getting Mila to sit. "Well, why don't we start with why you decided to quit working at LifCo Technologies." It was hard for Price not to show how elated she felt and accomplished in getting Mila to sit, she knew she had her.
"Well, it was obvious to me after thinking about it a bit that I would never be happy there. And we could have all the anger management therapy sessions we or they or I wanted and I would probably still feel like I wanted to punch a hole in a wall. So, I quit. But, I found myself a new job. One suited better for me." Mila said, growing more and more excited. "And what would that be?" Price wondered as she had been writing all of this down. And she was growing excited for Mila as well. More success!
"Wrestling!" Mila exclaimed as Price looked to her with a sort of questioning peculiarity. "Wrestling?" Price questioned. "Yes! Specifically Riot Star Wrestling! Signed up, they accepted me and I am on my way!" The joy from Mila was not at all matched by Price who did not find this to be a success at all. Shouldn't couldn't help but, to show her disappointment now. But, she still wrote it down on her notepad then a glimmer of hope wondered into her mind. "What about your writing?" Price wondered as Mila now looked defeated. "My writing is going to have to wait, I have found a new passion and - "
Mila had hoped to continue but, was cut off by Price. "Didn't you say you wanted to get back into writing? That your fans have been waiting and - " It was now Mila's turn to cut Price off as she had noticed something in her office that she hadn't before. Mila stood up and moved to one of the corners of the room. A bookshelf lined with books. Mila ran her hands along one of the shelves and grabbed one. She held it in her hands as she looked to the title, 'Chloe's Carnage'.
She ran her fingers along the title and then to the bottom where it read, 'By Mila Rader.' She then shot a look to Dr. Price as she looked on the shelf and along the others, seeing her name again and again. It was all of her books. "You're just a fan." Mila said as she let the book fall from her hand Price stood up nervously and with open hands looked to Mila, shaking her head. "No, I swear. I mean, I do enjoy your book but - " Mila had moved over to the doctor's desk and grabbed an envelope opener.
She began to move toward the doctor and pushed her to a wall. Price appeared nervous as she couldn't help but, to shake a little. Mila close to her face, as she pushed the knife like object to her throat. Mila appeared serious as she then smiled and kissed Price on the cheek. She moved back slightly as Price smiled, hoping to calm her patient a bit. And just when it was thought that the dust had settled, Mila moved her arm back and moved to jam the knife into the left eye socket of Price as Mila took in a deep breath, as if she had been drowning and sat up in her bed.
"Damn it." Mila said, sweaty and trying to recover as she ran her fingers through her hair. She sat on the side of her bed, adjusting to being awake before she stood up. Wearing nothing but turquoise colored lingerie, she looked to her desktop where a single sentence had been written. "Fuck." Some of her previous novels sat on the desk, a hope that she would get some sort of inspiration from them for a sequel to Chloe, Ella, Audrey, Nora, or hell maybe even Diablo.
Still had letters pouring in about how dark her latest one was. People either really loved it or really hated it but, the world was so vast in what she had created. And it was overwhelming. Chloe and Ella were straight forward. Vampire and Vampire Hunter. But, the world had grown tired of all the vampires and Mila didn't blame them at all. She realized how tired she must have been last night, as she usually shuts down her computer and sleeps in the nude. She moved to the bathroom where she peed and then stood, getting in the shower.
The water moved along her body as she felt relief all the bullshit from yesterday had begun leaving her body. Not just physically but, from her mind as well. She couldn't use that dream as a story. There was no character that it would make sense with. Though she had a good chuckle thinking of Ruby as a writer. It would mostly be books filled with poetic riddles that no one with half a brain would understand. If anything, Mila related the most to Ella, who fought the majority of her demons at night. Of course, her's are more vampires and Mila's are more family related.
A knocking started at the front door and of course, Mila had just started to wash her hair. "Fuck." She said to herself as more knocking began. "Just a minute!" She yelled. She quickly tried to wash her hair and reach for two towels. More knocking. "I said just a fucking minute!" She yelled, as she stepped out and wrapped her body and hair. More knocking. "Jesus fucking shit." She said to herself, as she opened the door to see a somewhat older, balding, and decently dressed man in a sweater, who was about to knock on her door again.
She then came to a not so good realization. "Oh fuck. The rent!" She said as she hit her own forehead. "Yes. Oh, fuck, the rent." The man said as she moved inside to go get the money but, not too far and he stepped in as well, though only slightly. She reached for her wallet, which was sitting on a table covered in various papers, the rest of the apartment was in decent order though. Mila goes through her wallet and hands the man a decent bundle. He starts to count it, sorting the bills.
"Uh... missing over a hundred dollars here." He says, as she looks to him, flustered. "I know. I am sorry. I quit my job at LifCo and my royalty checks are not here yet. Can you just wait for a few more days?" Mila wonders in a semi whiny voice as she attempts a sweet smile. "Mila, you are a smart girl who writes great novels. And you know I enjoy them, that Ruby character was a bit much but, still good. You can do better than this. You have until next Wednesday. WRITE!"
He says as a final declaration of sorts before turning to leave. He turns to look at her one last time, she hesitates to close the door. "And for the last time, stop answering the door in just a towel. And close your blinds at night. There's a group of boys that stand across the street every day at ten-thirty in the morning and the little gay one told me they see you hanging out. I think he is jealous that they won't look at him that way but, what do I know?!" He wonders as he shakes his head.
"Thanks, Mr. Clemish." Mila says, wincing as she closes the door. She then sees the boys she is talking about across the street and one girl. "Oh, for fuck's sake." She says, as she goes over and closes the blinds, she can hear the disappointment from outside. One of them even had binoculars. She moves to go back to the bathroom and turns the shower back on, she looks in the mirror at herself messing around with her face. She takes off the towel from her head and body, as her cell phone reminds her from the other room to train today for RSW.
A Few Days Later
"I am very much looking forward to my first ever Riot Star Wrestling match, facing off against Caleb Koresh, Joe Beb, and Steve Murdock. And not only is my first match a pay-per-view- but, it is for a shot at a championship match! The pressure is very much on but, I think... I hope I can handle it. I am not really sure why management decided to place a newcomer among all of these men but, I guess it's good to see that RSW is an equal opportunity employer. I just hope they are ready for me."
Mila Rader appeared hyped, bubbly, and a bit nervous but, who wouldn't be as she was being interviewed by one of the many staff members of RSW. She never really truly prepared for anything like this. Only knew that she needed and wanted to get some aggression out and maybe even be inspired somehow along the way. But, who would offer this inspiration? Could Beb, Koresh, or Murdock bring this about? Knowing little about them and not hearing a word from them regarding the match is difficult. Maybe they didn't care about it? Made it all the more easier for her.
"I guess my biggest concern is that we haven't at all heard from my opponents. My fear is that this is only important to me and that no one else would care. Surely they wouldn't book such a competition, if it were not important, right? Sorry. Sometimes I overthink situations and voice them out loud which causes me to ramble. I suppose what I mean to say is that it's very difficult to talk about a match when my more established fellow combatants have not even said anything themselves. Neither Koresh nor Murdock has been vocal for almost a month now."
Rader takes a deep sigh as she closes her eyes to collect herself. This has really been a problem for her and the anxiety of this interview has broken any of her focus. Maybe she needed one of those mouthpieces. Like that guy from World Wrestling Entertainment. Ben... Blake... Brock... BROCK! That's it, his name was Brock. A big muscle head, who couldn't talk a lick on the microphone so, they brought in Paul Heyman. Why was that name so easy to remember for her but, Brock was not? Was she like Brock?
"Sorry, my mind is wondering again. I guess all I really can say is that I hope there is no gender bias in this match. Come at me with full force boys. Do not hesitate. Do not hold back. I can deal with it. I can take it all in a deliver it back. I have the training now. I have the know how. I just can't wait to show you all, including all the fans of Riot Star Wrestling. The hope is that I can entertain you and leave you wanting more. I may be new but, I will be impactful."
Rader needed to end the interview there. She didn't feel as if she were in the right frame of mind to continue and needed a break. It took her a long time to become comfortable with people. She needed to be eased in. Ever since she was young. Maybe that comes from at one point being the fat girl that everyone made fun of. Eight years later and being in good shape and the teasing still haunts her. Maybe that is why she found solace in the characters she wrote. They were unique but, also all strong and independent women.
She moved to her own room. A room that was like a small apartment, in a giant building. It had a couch, two chairs, a glass coffee table, a large television, a small kitchen area with a refrigerator, counter top, and a microwave. And a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. All that was missing was a bed but, that is what the hotel nearby was for. Promotional RSW event posters were hung on the walls, including the upcoming pay-per-view and her promotional still. She loved but, also hated the way she looked. So polished and produced.
It made it all feel that more real. Looking at the men she would be facing, Koresh looked like the type of man that may appear in one of her novels. The same with Murdock. Like a Firefly family member. While Beb resembled a character that would likely appear in a Harmony Korine film. And while Korine was a great director, his characters weren't always. That is how Rader's life always was. Surrounded by characters. Some more inspiring than others. Then again, much like Korine's characters, were Rader's any better? Sure, they were very different but, they all pretty much had bad qualities or strange ones.
Her mind was racing again and having a few flashbacks to when she was writing Mia Walker. It concerned her for a moment but, then she smiled thinking of an easier and more inspirational time. A time when ideas flowed through her and shot forward like shotgun shells scattered all over a page which practically wrote itself and tears of past remembrances of joy spread along her face. She could only hope to feel that way again. And at that moment, she lost sight of why she was here. She wasn't here to gain inspiration for a story or characters, she was here to let out her anger and frustration from years and years of...
Of everything. Her brother, father, mother, sister. Her friends. Her exes. The years she had been bullied. The pressure from her manager. The pressure from her fans. Shit. The pressure she'll get from her new fans. If she get's fans... of course, she'll get fans. Why wouldn't she? Unless she became a personality they hated, they loathed. But, she couldn't do that. Sweet, little, Mila Rader. A character that everyone could love and enjoy. Hell, even aspired to be.
June 24, 2008
A twelve-year-old Mila Rader sits in her younger brothers tree house. A fourteen-year-old Bobby Pilsner sits in front of her. They have their legs crossed and hands clasped together in front of them as they sit on the floor of the old wood. They press their lips together. A first kiss for the two love birds. They had been a rumored couple all school year and after some flirtatious texts, decided to meet in private. Mila's body tingled, as she pulled back and couldn't help to giggle. She shied away from showing it as Bobby smiled at her adorable giggle.
"You're beautiful, you know." Bobby said, his voice just starting to deepen from puberty. A blushing Mila waved him off a bit, not wanting to hear the compliments, as she didn't believe him but, also wanted him to keep going with them. She felt like she was drowning but, in a good way. "Can I kiss you again?" He wondered. She said nothing but, she presented herself as if she was ready. She grabbed his hands again. She wasn't sure why they did this but, it felt awkwardly right to her. Bobby wasn't so much into the hand holding but, went along with it anyway.
They kissed again and then again. They were pecks and she smiled each time. Bobby's eyes grew with anticipation, each kiss sustaining longer and longer. Bobby grew tired of this fast and unclasping hands, he pushed her down with a great amount of passion and now on top of her, his hands moved along her body and he began to use tongue. Something she hated at first but, gave into eventually. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands so, she sort of laid back and allowed Bobby to run his hands along her body.
His left hand moved to her skirt and started to go upward as a bat fell and the giggling of children was heard, causing her and Bobby both to scramble to their feet. It was her younger brother, Milo and his friends, Alex and Paul. "Get out of here, you skinny ass nerds! And Paul too!" She screamed and stomped. "We're gonna tell mom!" Milo yelled, his friends agreeing. Bobby moved to a bean bag chair and slumped down. Talk about a boner killer. "I knew this wasn't a good idea." He said, sounding defeated. "It was your idea."
Mila said as she watched her younger brother and Milo race inside and grab Nerf guns. She smiled thinking they weren't going to tell mother as Mila had dirt on Milo for stealing a candy bar last week. Claimed it just fell into his book bag. A book bag he always kept zipped up, especially in public. Was always afraid someone would steal something from him so, something 'just falling in' seemed even more illogical. "So.. what should we do now?" Booby questioned, as he wrapped his arms around Mila, who was still annoyed at Milo and his friends. "I think you should go home, Bobby."
She said as Bobby appeared a bit taken aback by this. "What? Why?!" He wondered, even feeling a bit insulted. Things were finally heating up between the two after months of gossip and rumors. Why was he being rejected now? This sucked but, he knew he would have to just deal with it. "When can I see you again?" Bobby wondered. Mila's thoughts were too focused on getting revenge on her brother right now to really think about seeing Bobby again. "I don't know, I'll text you." She said, dismissing him. Bobby scoffed a bit and headed for the ladder, disappearing.
Mila, with arms crossed watched her brother play with his friends, shooting at each other before their parents got home. With their father being a doctor and mother a lawyer, it sometimes meant long nights without their parents and it meant Mila was left in charge a lot. And with a ten-year-old brother and an eight-year-old sister, things sometimes became a bit hectic. But, Mila always figured out a way to make it seem like everything went well by the time the got home. Mila climbed down the treehouse and went inside, sliding the glass door shut.
Milo and his friends both stopped their screaming and shooting at each other long enough to focus on her. "I am sure mom's just going to LOVE to hear about your make-out session with Bobby Pilsner, MiLAAAA!" Milo said, in a whiny, small kid tone as his two other friends giggled to themselves like boys their age do. Mila didn't give much of a reaction, as she reached the three of them, grins on their faces. Mila leaned down to their level and while there was only a two-year difference between the two, the height difference was pretty noticeable.
"You're not going to tell mother anything, Milo. Because, if you do, I will tell her about that mysterious Butter finger she found the other day in the refrigerator." Mila said as Milo moved a little forward challenging his sister. "You really think mom is going to care about that after I tell her Bobby's hand was up your skirt?" Milo wondered as Mila began to panic internally, she had forgotten that part, and just for that moment but, then she remembered how it made her feel so good and curious about the idea of him moving further up though, she was smacked right back into reality when one of Milo's friends sneezed and she quickly thought of a distraction.
With a quick downward motion, she had yanked Milo's pants off and laughed, as he screamed out to pull his pants back up, he was practically crying as he ran out of the room, his friends chasing after him as they pointed and laughed. "Small dick boy! Small dick boy!" They yelled as you heard him run into his room and slam his door shut. Mila laughed she moved to the kitchen and started to make a sandwich.
"Ah, yes. Embarrassing your brother. What a fun past time!" An exuberant, British woman randomly appears, wearing a plump purple dress, form-fitting to her body and blonde hair. She was beautiful but, not overly so. Nothing that would cause one to faint but, just pretty enough to make you do a double take. Mila was however so startled, she dropped a glass jar of pickles on the tiled floor and pointed a knife at her. "Who the fuck are you and how in the hell did you get in here?!" Mila questioned, she was shaking, as the blonde woman just gleefully smile.
She appeared disappointed even. "Oh come on, Mila! Don't you know who I am?! I am you!" She said as Mila looked at her puzzled and in disbelief. "How in the hell are you me? I am me!" Mila said, her tone a bit stronger now and her stance as well. The blonde, older woman, in her lower thirties chuckled. "Well, of course, you are you, darling! But, I am also you." She said, as she gleefully bounced around the kitchen, starting to make a sandwich, eerily similar to the one Mila was making. "Oh, rats. You've ruined the pickles."
She says as Mila watches her confused. She knows where everything in the kitchen is, including the paper towel to clean up the mess. Mila is uncertain as to how she should react. She just stares at the woman. "How do you know where stuff is and you can't be me. I don't have an accent." Mila says, as the woman continues to make herself known, as she sits down, she grabs the knife from Mila and with her finished sandwich, she cuts it in half and then hands it back to Mila, who is now just realizing she was still holding the knife.
The British women then picks up one half of the sandwich and offer it to Mila. Mila hesitates at first and then takes it as the British woman gestures for her to sit. Mila does and just stares at her, as she takes a bite of her sandwich, Mila not able to compute any of this. "I've got news for you. Everyone has an accent. We never notice our own because, well... it's our own." The British women chuckles to herself. "Are you going to eat it or what?" The British women wonders, as she has almost finished her half.
Mila takes a bite, and it's just how she likes it. "How did you - " Mila starts but, it is stopped. "How did I know? Because I am you." The British woman continues to try and hammer home the idea but, none of it makes sense. "But, how are you me? That doesn't any sense." Mila says out loud, feeling as though she is seeing things, she speaks to herself and a bit under her breath. She can hear her brother and his friends down the hall still and their sister is still asleep with her nap.
"Let me explain it to you like this, this is time travel or like I am some weird relative. I am a character, not yet born by you. Well, you kind of did create me, I was in a dream of yours a while back ago. I believe that version of me was a well to do CFO of a major corporation." The British woman said as she patted her mouth with a napkin. Mila still uncertain took another bite. "I think I do remember that." Mila said though, she was still hesitant. "But, you didn't have that accent. You were from the country, I believe."
Mila said, still in great disbelief. "Well, I mean, I still am. I am just from what they call the mother country." She chuckled as Mila joined in shortly with her. "You are a dreamer, Mila. You are a writer. You've already a book and now you write more. I am in your noggin. I am you. So, what shall you call me? I never had a name in your dream." The British woman wondered. Mila thought the question was bizarre. This whole thing was bizarre but, she needed a name. And Mila needed to know why this was happening.
"What about Britney?" Mila wondered, as the British women smiled and laughed to herself a bit. "Ah-ha! Britney the Brit, aye? Couldn't do a bit better? Well, you are twelve after all. I am certain you'll get better as time goes on." Mila looked a little disappointed. The two became quiet for a bit. The more Mila thought about the situation, the crazier she thought she was. "You know, it's best not to over think it, Mila. Think of me as an imaginary friend. Someone to guide you. A friendly, little mouse in your ear."
Britney said as Mila winced a bit. "So, you are from my dream. And out of all the people in my dreams, you are the one that is here. Why?" Mila wondered as Britney appeared to be thinking about this herself. "Mila, this is your world and I am just living in it. I am here because you wanted me to be. Perhaps someone to talk to. Mum and dad busy, your brother is a peeping tom. And how are to talk to your sister at eight years old? You have friends but, it's not the same. With me, with your imagination, you're home."
Britney said as Mila looked to her, confused. "I am home!" Mila's mother shouted from the front door. Mila looked to where Britney was sitting, only to find the chair empty. Mila looked around like, maybe she had moved somewhere, but could not find her. She moved to help her mother with groceries as her little sister Addison appeared from her bedroom, rubbing her eyes. "Mom?" She wondered as Mila's mother handed the rest of the groceries to Mila and picked up Addison. "I'm here, baby." Mila's mother said kissing her on the forehead.
She noticed Mila's clothing, which was a bit dirty from her interaction with Bobby earlier. "What happened to your clothes?" Her mother asked. And as Mila was about to make up a lie, her mother's attention was turned to her brother loudly playing in his room with his friends. She sighed with irritation and put Addison on the kitchen island to go deal with Milo. Mila looked to Addison. "Well, I guess he'll get yelled at either way, huh sis?" Mila questioned as Addison just nodded, still a bit tired from her nap. "Let's go see what's on television."
The well dressed, business looking woman smiled a smile of a business savvy woman and not one that was genuine in nature. "Yes, Mila. Today is your last day of anger management. How does that make you feel?" The business savvy woman asked. A counselor, perhaps? "How about you just sign the paper and I can go home?" Mila questioned, her eagerness consuming her entire being. The counselor looked to her, waiting for her to calm but, she knew that wouldn't happen. "Mila, you know I cannot do that."
The counselor said and just like that, all of Mila's movements stopped. The chewing, the tapping, the eagerness in her body. She now appeared annoyed, perturbed, as her eyes narrowed. She leaned in slightly and after a few moments, she let out a sigh, as she then appeared to relax. "I know. I know." She said as she sat back, becoming a little more comfortable and so did the counselor, though not as much if course. Still needed to keep that professional posture. "I just want to be done with all of this." Mila said as she looked slightly defeated.
"I know that you do, Mila. Believe me. We just have this final therapy session to go and then you can return to work." The counselor sat further back in her chair, as she kept the notes on her lap in front of her, as she looked across to Mila, who looked directly back at her. "I am curious though, Mila." The counselor started, as she let the sentence hang in the air a bit, waiting to see if Mila would respond in some way, shape. or form. But, she kept quiet. "A few days ago, I received a call from LifCo Technologies and they said you had resigned."
Mila looked annoyed at the counselor and almost scared. Like a child whose parent caught them with dessert just before dinner. "They called and told you a few days ago to let you know and you kept having me come back?" Mila questioned, feeling betrayed. "I didn't do anything, Mila. You made a choice to not say anything, to return to each therapy session." The counselor replied. "I'm not paying for this." Mila said, in a tome of irritated sincerity, as the tapping and chewing began again.
She moved to get up. "No, Mila. Please sit. You will not be charged. I promised. Your previous employer paid for all the sessions ahead of time. Please sit and finish." The counselor urged as Mila looked to her. "But, what is the point? You know that there is no purpose to this anymore, Dr. Price!" Mila said, she still felt betrayed by all of this so, her tone was harsh, annoyed. Dr. Price smiled, this time more sincere. "But, there is Mila. You didn't have to come anymore and yet here you arrived every day you were meant to. This is your last session. Why not sit and hash everything out?"
Price wondered and while Mila was incredibly hesitant, she eventually sat down and looked to Price. And with a sigh and great hesitation, she asked, "So, where do we go from here?" Mila wondered as Price appeared as though she had accomplished something in getting Mila to sit. "Well, why don't we start with why you decided to quit working at LifCo Technologies." It was hard for Price not to show how elated she felt and accomplished in getting Mila to sit, she knew she had her.
"Well, it was obvious to me after thinking about it a bit that I would never be happy there. And we could have all the anger management therapy sessions we or they or I wanted and I would probably still feel like I wanted to punch a hole in a wall. So, I quit. But, I found myself a new job. One suited better for me." Mila said, growing more and more excited. "And what would that be?" Price wondered as she had been writing all of this down. And she was growing excited for Mila as well. More success!
"Wrestling!" Mila exclaimed as Price looked to her with a sort of questioning peculiarity. "Wrestling?" Price questioned. "Yes! Specifically Riot Star Wrestling! Signed up, they accepted me and I am on my way!" The joy from Mila was not at all matched by Price who did not find this to be a success at all. Shouldn't couldn't help but, to show her disappointment now. But, she still wrote it down on her notepad then a glimmer of hope wondered into her mind. "What about your writing?" Price wondered as Mila now looked defeated. "My writing is going to have to wait, I have found a new passion and - "
Mila had hoped to continue but, was cut off by Price. "Didn't you say you wanted to get back into writing? That your fans have been waiting and - " It was now Mila's turn to cut Price off as she had noticed something in her office that she hadn't before. Mila stood up and moved to one of the corners of the room. A bookshelf lined with books. Mila ran her hands along one of the shelves and grabbed one. She held it in her hands as she looked to the title, 'Chloe's Carnage'.
She ran her fingers along the title and then to the bottom where it read, 'By Mila Rader.' She then shot a look to Dr. Price as she looked on the shelf and along the others, seeing her name again and again. It was all of her books. "You're just a fan." Mila said as she let the book fall from her hand Price stood up nervously and with open hands looked to Mila, shaking her head. "No, I swear. I mean, I do enjoy your book but - " Mila had moved over to the doctor's desk and grabbed an envelope opener.
She began to move toward the doctor and pushed her to a wall. Price appeared nervous as she couldn't help but, to shake a little. Mila close to her face, as she pushed the knife like object to her throat. Mila appeared serious as she then smiled and kissed Price on the cheek. She moved back slightly as Price smiled, hoping to calm her patient a bit. And just when it was thought that the dust had settled, Mila moved her arm back and moved to jam the knife into the left eye socket of Price as Mila took in a deep breath, as if she had been drowning and sat up in her bed.
"Damn it." Mila said, sweaty and trying to recover as she ran her fingers through her hair. She sat on the side of her bed, adjusting to being awake before she stood up. Wearing nothing but turquoise colored lingerie, she looked to her desktop where a single sentence had been written. "Fuck." Some of her previous novels sat on the desk, a hope that she would get some sort of inspiration from them for a sequel to Chloe, Ella, Audrey, Nora, or hell maybe even Diablo.
Still had letters pouring in about how dark her latest one was. People either really loved it or really hated it but, the world was so vast in what she had created. And it was overwhelming. Chloe and Ella were straight forward. Vampire and Vampire Hunter. But, the world had grown tired of all the vampires and Mila didn't blame them at all. She realized how tired she must have been last night, as she usually shuts down her computer and sleeps in the nude. She moved to the bathroom where she peed and then stood, getting in the shower.
The water moved along her body as she felt relief all the bullshit from yesterday had begun leaving her body. Not just physically but, from her mind as well. She couldn't use that dream as a story. There was no character that it would make sense with. Though she had a good chuckle thinking of Ruby as a writer. It would mostly be books filled with poetic riddles that no one with half a brain would understand. If anything, Mila related the most to Ella, who fought the majority of her demons at night. Of course, her's are more vampires and Mila's are more family related.
A knocking started at the front door and of course, Mila had just started to wash her hair. "Fuck." She said to herself as more knocking began. "Just a minute!" She yelled. She quickly tried to wash her hair and reach for two towels. More knocking. "I said just a fucking minute!" She yelled, as she stepped out and wrapped her body and hair. More knocking. "Jesus fucking shit." She said to herself, as she opened the door to see a somewhat older, balding, and decently dressed man in a sweater, who was about to knock on her door again.
She then came to a not so good realization. "Oh fuck. The rent!" She said as she hit her own forehead. "Yes. Oh, fuck, the rent." The man said as she moved inside to go get the money but, not too far and he stepped in as well, though only slightly. She reached for her wallet, which was sitting on a table covered in various papers, the rest of the apartment was in decent order though. Mila goes through her wallet and hands the man a decent bundle. He starts to count it, sorting the bills.
"Uh... missing over a hundred dollars here." He says, as she looks to him, flustered. "I know. I am sorry. I quit my job at LifCo and my royalty checks are not here yet. Can you just wait for a few more days?" Mila wonders in a semi whiny voice as she attempts a sweet smile. "Mila, you are a smart girl who writes great novels. And you know I enjoy them, that Ruby character was a bit much but, still good. You can do better than this. You have until next Wednesday. WRITE!"
He says as a final declaration of sorts before turning to leave. He turns to look at her one last time, she hesitates to close the door. "And for the last time, stop answering the door in just a towel. And close your blinds at night. There's a group of boys that stand across the street every day at ten-thirty in the morning and the little gay one told me they see you hanging out. I think he is jealous that they won't look at him that way but, what do I know?!" He wonders as he shakes his head.
"Thanks, Mr. Clemish." Mila says, wincing as she closes the door. She then sees the boys she is talking about across the street and one girl. "Oh, for fuck's sake." She says, as she goes over and closes the blinds, she can hear the disappointment from outside. One of them even had binoculars. She moves to go back to the bathroom and turns the shower back on, she looks in the mirror at herself messing around with her face. She takes off the towel from her head and body, as her cell phone reminds her from the other room to train today for RSW.
A Few Days Later
"I am very much looking forward to my first ever Riot Star Wrestling match, facing off against Caleb Koresh, Joe Beb, and Steve Murdock. And not only is my first match a pay-per-view- but, it is for a shot at a championship match! The pressure is very much on but, I think... I hope I can handle it. I am not really sure why management decided to place a newcomer among all of these men but, I guess it's good to see that RSW is an equal opportunity employer. I just hope they are ready for me."
Mila Rader appeared hyped, bubbly, and a bit nervous but, who wouldn't be as she was being interviewed by one of the many staff members of RSW. She never really truly prepared for anything like this. Only knew that she needed and wanted to get some aggression out and maybe even be inspired somehow along the way. But, who would offer this inspiration? Could Beb, Koresh, or Murdock bring this about? Knowing little about them and not hearing a word from them regarding the match is difficult. Maybe they didn't care about it? Made it all the more easier for her.
"I guess my biggest concern is that we haven't at all heard from my opponents. My fear is that this is only important to me and that no one else would care. Surely they wouldn't book such a competition, if it were not important, right? Sorry. Sometimes I overthink situations and voice them out loud which causes me to ramble. I suppose what I mean to say is that it's very difficult to talk about a match when my more established fellow combatants have not even said anything themselves. Neither Koresh nor Murdock has been vocal for almost a month now."
Rader takes a deep sigh as she closes her eyes to collect herself. This has really been a problem for her and the anxiety of this interview has broken any of her focus. Maybe she needed one of those mouthpieces. Like that guy from World Wrestling Entertainment. Ben... Blake... Brock... BROCK! That's it, his name was Brock. A big muscle head, who couldn't talk a lick on the microphone so, they brought in Paul Heyman. Why was that name so easy to remember for her but, Brock was not? Was she like Brock?
"Sorry, my mind is wondering again. I guess all I really can say is that I hope there is no gender bias in this match. Come at me with full force boys. Do not hesitate. Do not hold back. I can deal with it. I can take it all in a deliver it back. I have the training now. I have the know how. I just can't wait to show you all, including all the fans of Riot Star Wrestling. The hope is that I can entertain you and leave you wanting more. I may be new but, I will be impactful."
Rader needed to end the interview there. She didn't feel as if she were in the right frame of mind to continue and needed a break. It took her a long time to become comfortable with people. She needed to be eased in. Ever since she was young. Maybe that comes from at one point being the fat girl that everyone made fun of. Eight years later and being in good shape and the teasing still haunts her. Maybe that is why she found solace in the characters she wrote. They were unique but, also all strong and independent women.
She moved to her own room. A room that was like a small apartment, in a giant building. It had a couch, two chairs, a glass coffee table, a large television, a small kitchen area with a refrigerator, counter top, and a microwave. And a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. All that was missing was a bed but, that is what the hotel nearby was for. Promotional RSW event posters were hung on the walls, including the upcoming pay-per-view and her promotional still. She loved but, also hated the way she looked. So polished and produced.
It made it all feel that more real. Looking at the men she would be facing, Koresh looked like the type of man that may appear in one of her novels. The same with Murdock. Like a Firefly family member. While Beb resembled a character that would likely appear in a Harmony Korine film. And while Korine was a great director, his characters weren't always. That is how Rader's life always was. Surrounded by characters. Some more inspiring than others. Then again, much like Korine's characters, were Rader's any better? Sure, they were very different but, they all pretty much had bad qualities or strange ones.
Her mind was racing again and having a few flashbacks to when she was writing Mia Walker. It concerned her for a moment but, then she smiled thinking of an easier and more inspirational time. A time when ideas flowed through her and shot forward like shotgun shells scattered all over a page which practically wrote itself and tears of past remembrances of joy spread along her face. She could only hope to feel that way again. And at that moment, she lost sight of why she was here. She wasn't here to gain inspiration for a story or characters, she was here to let out her anger and frustration from years and years of...
Of everything. Her brother, father, mother, sister. Her friends. Her exes. The years she had been bullied. The pressure from her manager. The pressure from her fans. Shit. The pressure she'll get from her new fans. If she get's fans... of course, she'll get fans. Why wouldn't she? Unless she became a personality they hated, they loathed. But, she couldn't do that. Sweet, little, Mila Rader. A character that everyone could love and enjoy. Hell, even aspired to be.
June 24, 2008
A twelve-year-old Mila Rader sits in her younger brothers tree house. A fourteen-year-old Bobby Pilsner sits in front of her. They have their legs crossed and hands clasped together in front of them as they sit on the floor of the old wood. They press their lips together. A first kiss for the two love birds. They had been a rumored couple all school year and after some flirtatious texts, decided to meet in private. Mila's body tingled, as she pulled back and couldn't help to giggle. She shied away from showing it as Bobby smiled at her adorable giggle.
"You're beautiful, you know." Bobby said, his voice just starting to deepen from puberty. A blushing Mila waved him off a bit, not wanting to hear the compliments, as she didn't believe him but, also wanted him to keep going with them. She felt like she was drowning but, in a good way. "Can I kiss you again?" He wondered. She said nothing but, she presented herself as if she was ready. She grabbed his hands again. She wasn't sure why they did this but, it felt awkwardly right to her. Bobby wasn't so much into the hand holding but, went along with it anyway.
They kissed again and then again. They were pecks and she smiled each time. Bobby's eyes grew with anticipation, each kiss sustaining longer and longer. Bobby grew tired of this fast and unclasping hands, he pushed her down with a great amount of passion and now on top of her, his hands moved along her body and he began to use tongue. Something she hated at first but, gave into eventually. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands so, she sort of laid back and allowed Bobby to run his hands along her body.
His left hand moved to her skirt and started to go upward as a bat fell and the giggling of children was heard, causing her and Bobby both to scramble to their feet. It was her younger brother, Milo and his friends, Alex and Paul. "Get out of here, you skinny ass nerds! And Paul too!" She screamed and stomped. "We're gonna tell mom!" Milo yelled, his friends agreeing. Bobby moved to a bean bag chair and slumped down. Talk about a boner killer. "I knew this wasn't a good idea." He said, sounding defeated. "It was your idea."
Mila said as she watched her younger brother and Milo race inside and grab Nerf guns. She smiled thinking they weren't going to tell mother as Mila had dirt on Milo for stealing a candy bar last week. Claimed it just fell into his book bag. A book bag he always kept zipped up, especially in public. Was always afraid someone would steal something from him so, something 'just falling in' seemed even more illogical. "So.. what should we do now?" Booby questioned, as he wrapped his arms around Mila, who was still annoyed at Milo and his friends. "I think you should go home, Bobby."
She said as Bobby appeared a bit taken aback by this. "What? Why?!" He wondered, even feeling a bit insulted. Things were finally heating up between the two after months of gossip and rumors. Why was he being rejected now? This sucked but, he knew he would have to just deal with it. "When can I see you again?" Bobby wondered. Mila's thoughts were too focused on getting revenge on her brother right now to really think about seeing Bobby again. "I don't know, I'll text you." She said, dismissing him. Bobby scoffed a bit and headed for the ladder, disappearing.
Mila, with arms crossed watched her brother play with his friends, shooting at each other before their parents got home. With their father being a doctor and mother a lawyer, it sometimes meant long nights without their parents and it meant Mila was left in charge a lot. And with a ten-year-old brother and an eight-year-old sister, things sometimes became a bit hectic. But, Mila always figured out a way to make it seem like everything went well by the time the got home. Mila climbed down the treehouse and went inside, sliding the glass door shut.
Milo and his friends both stopped their screaming and shooting at each other long enough to focus on her. "I am sure mom's just going to LOVE to hear about your make-out session with Bobby Pilsner, MiLAAAA!" Milo said, in a whiny, small kid tone as his two other friends giggled to themselves like boys their age do. Mila didn't give much of a reaction, as she reached the three of them, grins on their faces. Mila leaned down to their level and while there was only a two-year difference between the two, the height difference was pretty noticeable.
"You're not going to tell mother anything, Milo. Because, if you do, I will tell her about that mysterious Butter finger she found the other day in the refrigerator." Mila said as Milo moved a little forward challenging his sister. "You really think mom is going to care about that after I tell her Bobby's hand was up your skirt?" Milo wondered as Mila began to panic internally, she had forgotten that part, and just for that moment but, then she remembered how it made her feel so good and curious about the idea of him moving further up though, she was smacked right back into reality when one of Milo's friends sneezed and she quickly thought of a distraction.
With a quick downward motion, she had yanked Milo's pants off and laughed, as he screamed out to pull his pants back up, he was practically crying as he ran out of the room, his friends chasing after him as they pointed and laughed. "Small dick boy! Small dick boy!" They yelled as you heard him run into his room and slam his door shut. Mila laughed she moved to the kitchen and started to make a sandwich.
"Ah, yes. Embarrassing your brother. What a fun past time!" An exuberant, British woman randomly appears, wearing a plump purple dress, form-fitting to her body and blonde hair. She was beautiful but, not overly so. Nothing that would cause one to faint but, just pretty enough to make you do a double take. Mila was however so startled, she dropped a glass jar of pickles on the tiled floor and pointed a knife at her. "Who the fuck are you and how in the hell did you get in here?!" Mila questioned, she was shaking, as the blonde woman just gleefully smile.
She appeared disappointed even. "Oh come on, Mila! Don't you know who I am?! I am you!" She said as Mila looked at her puzzled and in disbelief. "How in the hell are you me? I am me!" Mila said, her tone a bit stronger now and her stance as well. The blonde, older woman, in her lower thirties chuckled. "Well, of course, you are you, darling! But, I am also you." She said, as she gleefully bounced around the kitchen, starting to make a sandwich, eerily similar to the one Mila was making. "Oh, rats. You've ruined the pickles."
She says as Mila watches her confused. She knows where everything in the kitchen is, including the paper towel to clean up the mess. Mila is uncertain as to how she should react. She just stares at the woman. "How do you know where stuff is and you can't be me. I don't have an accent." Mila says, as the woman continues to make herself known, as she sits down, she grabs the knife from Mila and with her finished sandwich, she cuts it in half and then hands it back to Mila, who is now just realizing she was still holding the knife.
The British women then picks up one half of the sandwich and offer it to Mila. Mila hesitates at first and then takes it as the British woman gestures for her to sit. Mila does and just stares at her, as she takes a bite of her sandwich, Mila not able to compute any of this. "I've got news for you. Everyone has an accent. We never notice our own because, well... it's our own." The British women chuckles to herself. "Are you going to eat it or what?" The British women wonders, as she has almost finished her half.
Mila takes a bite, and it's just how she likes it. "How did you - " Mila starts but, it is stopped. "How did I know? Because I am you." The British woman continues to try and hammer home the idea but, none of it makes sense. "But, how are you me? That doesn't any sense." Mila says out loud, feeling as though she is seeing things, she speaks to herself and a bit under her breath. She can hear her brother and his friends down the hall still and their sister is still asleep with her nap.
"Let me explain it to you like this, this is time travel or like I am some weird relative. I am a character, not yet born by you. Well, you kind of did create me, I was in a dream of yours a while back ago. I believe that version of me was a well to do CFO of a major corporation." The British woman said as she patted her mouth with a napkin. Mila still uncertain took another bite. "I think I do remember that." Mila said though, she was still hesitant. "But, you didn't have that accent. You were from the country, I believe."
Mila said, still in great disbelief. "Well, I mean, I still am. I am just from what they call the mother country." She chuckled as Mila joined in shortly with her. "You are a dreamer, Mila. You are a writer. You've already a book and now you write more. I am in your noggin. I am you. So, what shall you call me? I never had a name in your dream." The British woman wondered. Mila thought the question was bizarre. This whole thing was bizarre but, she needed a name. And Mila needed to know why this was happening.
"What about Britney?" Mila wondered, as the British women smiled and laughed to herself a bit. "Ah-ha! Britney the Brit, aye? Couldn't do a bit better? Well, you are twelve after all. I am certain you'll get better as time goes on." Mila looked a little disappointed. The two became quiet for a bit. The more Mila thought about the situation, the crazier she thought she was. "You know, it's best not to over think it, Mila. Think of me as an imaginary friend. Someone to guide you. A friendly, little mouse in your ear."
Britney said as Mila winced a bit. "So, you are from my dream. And out of all the people in my dreams, you are the one that is here. Why?" Mila wondered as Britney appeared to be thinking about this herself. "Mila, this is your world and I am just living in it. I am here because you wanted me to be. Perhaps someone to talk to. Mum and dad busy, your brother is a peeping tom. And how are to talk to your sister at eight years old? You have friends but, it's not the same. With me, with your imagination, you're home."
Britney said as Mila looked to her, confused. "I am home!" Mila's mother shouted from the front door. Mila looked to where Britney was sitting, only to find the chair empty. Mila looked around like, maybe she had moved somewhere, but could not find her. She moved to help her mother with groceries as her little sister Addison appeared from her bedroom, rubbing her eyes. "Mom?" She wondered as Mila's mother handed the rest of the groceries to Mila and picked up Addison. "I'm here, baby." Mila's mother said kissing her on the forehead.
She noticed Mila's clothing, which was a bit dirty from her interaction with Bobby earlier. "What happened to your clothes?" Her mother asked. And as Mila was about to make up a lie, her mother's attention was turned to her brother loudly playing in his room with his friends. She sighed with irritation and put Addison on the kitchen island to go deal with Milo. Mila looked to Addison. "Well, I guess he'll get yelled at either way, huh sis?" Mila questioned as Addison just nodded, still a bit tired from her nap. "Let's go see what's on television."
