Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 3, 2019 22:31:43 GMT -5
*The camera opens as Randy Angel, the CW Shooting Star Champion (in exile) stumbles through a coffee shop in Minneapolis. It is midday; he’s drunk, and seems a little inconvenienced. As he looks through the patrons of the shop he sees his quarry reading a newspaper and approaches.*
Randy: Nell, this is the worst bar I’ve ev..er…..been….to- you’re not Nelly.
*The newspaper moves down to reveal the inside contents being the word “EVIL” written all over it in black crayon, also some really friendly and colorful (but terribly drawn) pictures of people and animals that contrast sharply. Oh and it’s Lord Dominicus reading, or I guess musing while reviewing it?*
LD: No, I am not.
Randy: You’re-
LD: Lord Dominicus, master of darkness.
Randy: And I’m-
LD: Randy Angel, a human toilet brush of a person.
Randy: Why are you here?
LD: Why am I here? HOW VACUOUS ARE YOU, YOU UNABRIDGED SWINE!? I have a match! I get to have my Metropolis Mayhem match at the CW show that was DISASTERIOUSLY DENIED me due to unknown reasons at Bobt!
Randy: Bobt? Is that some guys name?
LD: No, it’s the acronym for Best of the Best
Randy: Then why did you say it like a normal word?
LD: DO YOU DARE QUESTION THE LORD OF DARNESS!?
*People are starting to whisper in the quiet coffee shop due to Dominicus’ weird voice modulation. People don’t normally raise and lower their voices frequently in conversation in MN. Maybe in New York, but doing that somewhere normal like here is bound to cause a stir. Should…..should they call the police? Luckily Lord Dominicus and Randy Angel are both immune to such things what with being crazy evil and exceedingly intoxicated- their senses have numbed to judgment. Randy Angel sits down with Dominicus.*
LD: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR’E DOING, UNAPOLOGETIC BOOZHOUND!?
Randy: Uh…I’m sitting down, duh.
LD: But why!? ANSWER MY DEMANDS!
Randy: Because we’re match buddies. I’m gonna be at Champion Conquest to prove once and for all that I deserve to be the CW Shooting Star Champion because I am their biggest star- even if I don’t work there anymore.
LD: But what if people see us together!?
Randy: Then they’ll know we’re match buddies, duh. And you said I was dense.
LD: I did not
Randy: Well you thought it
LD: That’s true.
Randy: Am I psychic?
LD: No, you’re Randy Angel. Anyway, go sit somewhere else.
Randy: Like where? With those losers?
*Randy points to the corner where CW World Tag Team Champions, Johnny and Danny sit, they wave. Randy and LD scowl.*
LD: Ok, so they’re a different brand of losers
Randy: I can’t believe Nelly trained with them
LD: Anyway, I’m busy, I must admire my de facto son’s draw- I mean check the news so that I know how to properly DESTROY ALL OF THE CITY THAT SHALL BE IN FRONT OF ME!
Randy: Cool cool, I need to keep my buzz going to make sure I’m in prime condition to make sure I can fully bring glory to the CW Shooting Star….oh you stopped paying attention.
*Indeed Dominicus has, he’s already back in his newspaper. Finally, after minutes of the absurd and a fair few customers leaving to go to a nicer coffee place, there is peace.*
Randy: …..So what kind of bar is this that doesn’t even serve drinks?
*Dominicus slams down his newspaper and lets forth a guttural yell in frustration with his newfound “match buddy.” The camera then fades out.*
Randy: Nell, this is the worst bar I’ve ev..er…..been….to- you’re not Nelly.
*The newspaper moves down to reveal the inside contents being the word “EVIL” written all over it in black crayon, also some really friendly and colorful (but terribly drawn) pictures of people and animals that contrast sharply. Oh and it’s Lord Dominicus reading, or I guess musing while reviewing it?*
LD: No, I am not.
Randy: You’re-
LD: Lord Dominicus, master of darkness.
Randy: And I’m-
LD: Randy Angel, a human toilet brush of a person.
Randy: Why are you here?
LD: Why am I here? HOW VACUOUS ARE YOU, YOU UNABRIDGED SWINE!? I have a match! I get to have my Metropolis Mayhem match at the CW show that was DISASTERIOUSLY DENIED me due to unknown reasons at Bobt!
Randy: Bobt? Is that some guys name?
LD: No, it’s the acronym for Best of the Best
Randy: Then why did you say it like a normal word?
LD: DO YOU DARE QUESTION THE LORD OF DARNESS!?
*People are starting to whisper in the quiet coffee shop due to Dominicus’ weird voice modulation. People don’t normally raise and lower their voices frequently in conversation in MN. Maybe in New York, but doing that somewhere normal like here is bound to cause a stir. Should…..should they call the police? Luckily Lord Dominicus and Randy Angel are both immune to such things what with being crazy evil and exceedingly intoxicated- their senses have numbed to judgment. Randy Angel sits down with Dominicus.*
LD: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR’E DOING, UNAPOLOGETIC BOOZHOUND!?
Randy: Uh…I’m sitting down, duh.
LD: But why!? ANSWER MY DEMANDS!
Randy: Because we’re match buddies. I’m gonna be at Champion Conquest to prove once and for all that I deserve to be the CW Shooting Star Champion because I am their biggest star- even if I don’t work there anymore.
LD: But what if people see us together!?
Randy: Then they’ll know we’re match buddies, duh. And you said I was dense.
LD: I did not
Randy: Well you thought it
LD: That’s true.
Randy: Am I psychic?
LD: No, you’re Randy Angel. Anyway, go sit somewhere else.
Randy: Like where? With those losers?
*Randy points to the corner where CW World Tag Team Champions, Johnny and Danny sit, they wave. Randy and LD scowl.*
LD: Ok, so they’re a different brand of losers
Randy: I can’t believe Nelly trained with them
LD: Anyway, I’m busy, I must admire my de facto son’s draw- I mean check the news so that I know how to properly DESTROY ALL OF THE CITY THAT SHALL BE IN FRONT OF ME!
Randy: Cool cool, I need to keep my buzz going to make sure I’m in prime condition to make sure I can fully bring glory to the CW Shooting Star….oh you stopped paying attention.
*Indeed Dominicus has, he’s already back in his newspaper. Finally, after minutes of the absurd and a fair few customers leaving to go to a nicer coffee place, there is peace.*
Randy: …..So what kind of bar is this that doesn’t even serve drinks?
*Dominicus slams down his newspaper and lets forth a guttural yell in frustration with his newfound “match buddy.” The camera then fades out.*