HOT and HARD (Dos Angeles) [VD;PN]
Jul 16, 2019 2:14:28 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Kira Izumi, and 1 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jul 16, 2019 2:14:28 GMT -5
*The camera opens up on SSS men’s roster star (like as in all-star, bro) Randy Angel and his also somewhat significant (though not in SSS or CW, Nell) younger brother, Nelly Angel sitting out in the snow. They’re surrounded by the white stuff as they shiver because although they’re dressed in winter pants and sweat shirts they’re clearly not ready for sub zero temperatures.*
Nelly: Why are we doing this again?
Randy: Because Nell, this isn’t AWF or whatever garbage you wrestle at now
Nelly: MCCW
Randy: Sure, make up letters or whatever.
Nelly: We literally have a match there in a couple weeks
Randy: Again, whatever. This is SSS. This is Japan. You know strong style? Hitting hard? Literal fights because wrestling is real here and that’s why all the kids think it’s better than American wrestling despite the fact that they have no idea what people are saying which would probably ruin the image just as much as modern storytelling does in America because at heart all we wanna do is see an American hero kick some guy in the balls?
*Nelly didn’t catch all that.*
Nelly: Ok, continue.
Randy: You can’t be soft here. You gotta be HARD. You gotta be ready to wrestle HARD. And so we’re gonna make sure that by the end of this you’re really really HARD. We’re gonna struggle with other men in our HARDNESS. Specifically a guy who’s name sounds like a clown fetish and another one who wants to dominate you.
Nelly: Are we talking about the same thi-
Randy: Don’t get you get it Nell? You gotta deal with this the HARD way because Japanese love HARD MEN.
Nelly: Alright, cut.
*The younger Angel waves his hand and stands up. We cut to a different angle as he stands up and walks off set. Yes, it was a set, all that snow was fake and it’s not even cold out. Randy trails behind.*
Randy: Whoa! Bro! What’s the problem?
*Nelly turns around. At the same time Randy starts peeling off his warm clothes to better acclimate because…*
Nelly: It’s summer. Why are we shooting a winter promo in the middle of summer? And more than that, how is being *airquotes* hard going to help us beat the team of El Arlequin and Kenneth Casper? Also, why are you taking off your shirt and pants?
*The camera turns back to Randy to reveal that indeed he is just in his boxers. “So that’s where he hides the last flask” you quietly think to yourself.*
Randy: Ok, ok, you’re totally right Nelly. Doing cold in the summer is straight-up uncomfortable. I mean the idea was that we were gonna freeze and get hard like popsicles but that’s nonsensical since we’d be melting in all those HOT clothes.
*Nelly holds the bridge of his nose.*
Nelly: Oh no, you’re doing it again aren’t you?
Randy: Just hear me out. This is your Japanese debut and the first time we’ve dusted off Dos Angeles for a while. I actually have tag experience AND Japanese experience from that probably Russian-backed fight club that closed and some of the guys are from- GUYS INCLUDING KENNY CAMPSTER
Nelly: Kenneth Casper.
Randy: What? Who cares, he’s some loser. But just ask any young wrestling observer, especially “true fans”- all wrestling is garbage. Well, all wrestling EXCEPT Japan, which is super HOT. So, my little brother, let’s not play games and try to get HARD thinking about other men, let’s think about those men and get HOT because it’s summer.
Nelly: Can…can you hear yourself talking?
Randy: Now that’d be a super power. But no, all I can do is get HARD and HOT over our match at Violent Dreams and Peaceful Nightmares. Especially the Violent Dreams part gets me so HOT and HARD. So HOT and HARD that I don’t even know why you’re wearing clothes.
Nelly: They don’t let you near any of the women do they?
Randy: Listen, where I am or am not allowed within several yards of is none of your concern. We have a match to focus on and I’m trying to teach you how they do it in Japan. So why are you still wearing clothes? Aren’t you HARD and HOT yet? I need you as HOT and HARD as possible so we can make a sweet JAV.
Nelly: A what?
Randy: A JAV, keep up. We’ll get down to our underwear, show the somewhat gimpy couple of a clown and a dominatri- er, dominator just who’s the most HOT and HARD in our JAV and then we’ll shove it in their stupid holes.
*A finger is held up by Nelly Angel.*
Nelly: Aaaaand that’s enough of that. I think I’ll just go train in the gym like a normal person and not shove anything of mine into any hole.
*Nelly walks off. Randy calls after him.*
Randy: WE’RE IN JAPAN NELL! IF YOU’RE NOT THE ONE SHOVING YOU’LL GET SHOVED! I WAS TALKING ABOUT THEIR BRAIN HOLES, BY THE WAY! YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THEY’RE DUMB! BUT NOT US WE’RE HOT AND HARD! Hot…..and…..har- oh he can’t hear me anymore.
*The elder Angel brother turns to a female staffer.*
Randy: Hey, wanna make a JAV with me? I’m really HOT and HARD
*He’s immediately slapped as the staffer stomps off.*
Randy: Why does nobody want to make a Japanese Awesome Video with me?
*With that we fade out.*
Nelly: Why are we doing this again?
Randy: Because Nell, this isn’t AWF or whatever garbage you wrestle at now
Nelly: MCCW
Randy: Sure, make up letters or whatever.
Nelly: We literally have a match there in a couple weeks
Randy: Again, whatever. This is SSS. This is Japan. You know strong style? Hitting hard? Literal fights because wrestling is real here and that’s why all the kids think it’s better than American wrestling despite the fact that they have no idea what people are saying which would probably ruin the image just as much as modern storytelling does in America because at heart all we wanna do is see an American hero kick some guy in the balls?
*Nelly didn’t catch all that.*
Nelly: Ok, continue.
Randy: You can’t be soft here. You gotta be HARD. You gotta be ready to wrestle HARD. And so we’re gonna make sure that by the end of this you’re really really HARD. We’re gonna struggle with other men in our HARDNESS. Specifically a guy who’s name sounds like a clown fetish and another one who wants to dominate you.
Nelly: Are we talking about the same thi-
Randy: Don’t get you get it Nell? You gotta deal with this the HARD way because Japanese love HARD MEN.
Nelly: Alright, cut.
*The younger Angel waves his hand and stands up. We cut to a different angle as he stands up and walks off set. Yes, it was a set, all that snow was fake and it’s not even cold out. Randy trails behind.*
Randy: Whoa! Bro! What’s the problem?
*Nelly turns around. At the same time Randy starts peeling off his warm clothes to better acclimate because…*
Nelly: It’s summer. Why are we shooting a winter promo in the middle of summer? And more than that, how is being *airquotes* hard going to help us beat the team of El Arlequin and Kenneth Casper? Also, why are you taking off your shirt and pants?
*The camera turns back to Randy to reveal that indeed he is just in his boxers. “So that’s where he hides the last flask” you quietly think to yourself.*
Randy: Ok, ok, you’re totally right Nelly. Doing cold in the summer is straight-up uncomfortable. I mean the idea was that we were gonna freeze and get hard like popsicles but that’s nonsensical since we’d be melting in all those HOT clothes.
*Nelly holds the bridge of his nose.*
Nelly: Oh no, you’re doing it again aren’t you?
Randy: Just hear me out. This is your Japanese debut and the first time we’ve dusted off Dos Angeles for a while. I actually have tag experience AND Japanese experience from that probably Russian-backed fight club that closed and some of the guys are from- GUYS INCLUDING KENNY CAMPSTER
Nelly: Kenneth Casper.
Randy: What? Who cares, he’s some loser. But just ask any young wrestling observer, especially “true fans”- all wrestling is garbage. Well, all wrestling EXCEPT Japan, which is super HOT. So, my little brother, let’s not play games and try to get HARD thinking about other men, let’s think about those men and get HOT because it’s summer.
Nelly: Can…can you hear yourself talking?
Randy: Now that’d be a super power. But no, all I can do is get HARD and HOT over our match at Violent Dreams and Peaceful Nightmares. Especially the Violent Dreams part gets me so HOT and HARD. So HOT and HARD that I don’t even know why you’re wearing clothes.
Nelly: They don’t let you near any of the women do they?
Randy: Listen, where I am or am not allowed within several yards of is none of your concern. We have a match to focus on and I’m trying to teach you how they do it in Japan. So why are you still wearing clothes? Aren’t you HARD and HOT yet? I need you as HOT and HARD as possible so we can make a sweet JAV.
Nelly: A what?
Randy: A JAV, keep up. We’ll get down to our underwear, show the somewhat gimpy couple of a clown and a dominatri- er, dominator just who’s the most HOT and HARD in our JAV and then we’ll shove it in their stupid holes.
*A finger is held up by Nelly Angel.*
Nelly: Aaaaand that’s enough of that. I think I’ll just go train in the gym like a normal person and not shove anything of mine into any hole.
*Nelly walks off. Randy calls after him.*
Randy: WE’RE IN JAPAN NELL! IF YOU’RE NOT THE ONE SHOVING YOU’LL GET SHOVED! I WAS TALKING ABOUT THEIR BRAIN HOLES, BY THE WAY! YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THEY’RE DUMB! BUT NOT US WE’RE HOT AND HARD! Hot…..and…..har- oh he can’t hear me anymore.
*The elder Angel brother turns to a female staffer.*
Randy: Hey, wanna make a JAV with me? I’m really HOT and HARD
*He’s immediately slapped as the staffer stomps off.*
Randy: Why does nobody want to make a Japanese Awesome Video with me?
*With that we fade out.*
