Post by retrorob on Jul 16, 2019 22:20:09 GMT -5
Doctor Riggs: “Alright, we are almost there, once last push and…..”
Retro Rob: “Oh my god.”
Mrs. Retro: “AAAHHHHHH”
Doctor Riggs: “THERE WE GO! Congratulations, you are now the parents of a healthy baby girl.”
The doctor places the newly born child into the warm embrace of her mother.
Doctor Riggs: “Ill give you guys some skin time for a few minutes, and we will be right back to do some of the numbers. Congrats again you guys.”
Retro leans in close to his wife and his newly born daughter
Retro Rob: “I can’t believe we are finally parents, look at how beautiful she is. I love you!”
Mrs. Retro: “I love you to”
The door to the hospital room creeps slowly open as a familiar voice is hear.
Unknown: “Retro…….Retro Rob…...look who is here.
Retro Rob: “Wait what, why the hell are you guys here. Get the hell out of here, we just had a god damn baby.”
Unknown: “My my dear friend, that is how we talk to eachother after all these years. You haven’t seen us since your WrestleWars days. How can you say you don’t miss The Captain Fantastic and myself, Gary “The Geezer” Wilkinson. We were like family…”
Retro Rob: “Family?!?!? Your perverted friend there was always saying the grossest shit to me, and you were the biggest asshole. You once told me to fuck a dog up the ass because you didn’t like the shoes I was wearing.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Never the less, I, I mean WE didn’t come here to rehash stories from the glory days, we just wanted a second of your time.”
Retro Rob: “You can’t not be serious, guys we just had a baby like 2 minutes ago….wait, why are you guys still even here? How did you even get past security…...never mind, I’ll just remove your fucking asses myself.”
Retro steps away from his wife and tries to grab both Gary and The Captain. Right as he got in close, Gary pulls out a small pistol and shoves it in Retro’s belly.
Gary Wilkinson: “What do you think you are doing. You should know well enough to not come at me and The Captain like that.
Mrs. Retro screams in shock, clinging to the baby.
The Captain Fantastic: “Please don’t scream, you will only frighten the your child. No one here is coming to help you guys. Do not think for a second Gary and I didn’t tie up loose ends.”
Gary Wilkinson: “You don’t get to where I get to if you don’t know how to pull a few strings. By strings I mean everyone on this floor right now is under the impression if they say anything about us being here, we will blow up the hospital.”
Retro Rob: “You can’t be fucking serious right now. You guys are wrestling commentators, possible homesexual partners, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mrs. Retro: “Of course not.”
Retro Rob: “I mean that's great if that’s who you are.”
Mrs. Retro: “Absolutely”
Retro Rob: “I have many gay friends.”
Mrs. Retro: “My fathers gay.”
Gary Wilkinson & The Captain Fantastic: “SHUT UP!”
Retro Rob: “I mean seriously, when the fuck did you two become some kind of evil villians. That is a pretty big jump from calling wrestling matches. Who does that?”
Gary Wilkinson: “Its been a long journey since we last worked together. After you left, we were replaced by cheaper, crappier talent. I promise you this, I will kick that Dave Damented right in the nuts the next time I see him.”
Retro Rob & The Captain Fantastic: “Join the club.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Anyway, we bounce around from promotion to promotion, not really getting anywhere. Then one day we noticed the crazy amount of prescription medication all these guys were taking.”
Retro Rob: “I know, it is kind of a country wide epidemic.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Never the less my friend, we took that as a business opportunity and started to collect cheap as shit pain meds, and sell them premium to the boys we would call for. We are making a crazy amount of money.”
The Captain Fantastic: “It has been great, I mean how do you think I pay for a fur coat like this.”
Retro Rob: “Well what the hell does that have to do with me, my wife and my daughter.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Here is the thing, we are making a lot of money but The Captain and I are afraid of this drying up so we want to be prepared.”
The Captain Fantastic: “We don’t want to get caught with our balls hanging out of our shorts, if you know what I mean?”
Retro Rob: “I don’t.”
The Captain Fantastic: “Well, if you undo your pants…”
Gary Wilkinson: “CAPTAIN! Anyway, so we are now betting on the same matches we are calling. We take one of these idiot wrestlers, put a gun in his face and say if he wins, he can live. If he loses, we shoot him in the fucking head. If he doesn’t want to participate, we shoot him in the head anyway. We find it more amusing instead of just paying them off.”
Retro Rob: “You two are fucking sick. If you are betting on wrestling matches, what the hell are you doing here. I am not a wrestling anymore guys, I haven’t been for a few years. You are threatening to bomb a hospital full of hundreds of men, women and children, all for a guy who is retired from the same sport your betting on?”
Gary Wilkinson: “There really isn’t a bomb, we aren’t complete monsters. These idiots just think there is, and thats mostly just as good.”
The Captain Fantastic: “We do have our manners.”
Gary Wilkinson: “All we have been betting on is rather small potatoes, and we need your name to get into the big time. We know that people will give you opportunities if you call them. We need you to make one of those phone calls for us.
Retro Rob: “Guys, seriously, I am not a wrestler anymore, no chance I would even win any match now. I am not in wrestling shape. I would get my ass kicked.”
Gary Wilkinson: “I am going to repeat myself as I said this already. If you win, you can live. If you lose, I shoot you in the head. If you do not accept these terms as given, I will shoot you in the head.”
Retro Rob: “I wouldn’t even know who to call to get a match for you guys. I don’t know what you want me to do here.”
Gary Wilkinson: “There is a special event coming up….um, what is it called again Captain?”
The Captain Fantastic: “Anarchy 50, run by those guys at Riot Star.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Its going to be a BIG BIG show. They are going to have a bunch of alumni come back. It is going to be a big money show, and we know that if you make one phone call, you can get on that card.
Retro Rob: “And if I say no, and don’t make that call, you are going to shoot me in the head, is that it?”
Gary Wilkinson: “If you don’t believe me, just ask an old friend of yours.”
Gary drops a polaroid picture of Jimmy Cannon, a former WrestleWars fan favorite and personal friend of Retro Rob.
Gary Wilkinson: “The funny thing is, when I asked Jimmy the same questions I am asking you, he just found out he wife can never have kids. Isn’t that funny. So he just finds this out, and then I ask him, he says no, and I shoot him in the head. Now you may have not believed me if I didn’t just drop a picture of your good friend dead on the floor.”
Retro Rob: “You insane mother fucker, if you didn’t have this gun I would kill you right now.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Now, I want you to make the call and ask for a match. Better yet, I want you to ask for a fatal four way match, and make it weird. Ask to make it a very funny yet stupid match. This is going to be fun to bet on, wouldn’t you say Captain.”
The Captain Fantastic: “It is going to be Fan...:”
Gary Wilkinson: “If you say fantastic I will kill you next! Now Retro, make the call.
Retro ponders on his choice. He could try to overtake the two but risks hurting himself, his wife, and the baby. If he wrestles, he could end up dead as well, with a very small chance of winning. He takes out his cell phone, and takes a deep breathe……….
**I want to thank you guys for inviting me to the show. Its been a few years for me, so its nice to be remembered. I want to thank Fowler for allowing me to use Gary, I didn’t ask him or anything so I am just going to assume he is fine
I want to thank Jimmy Cannon, wherever you are, for letting me kill you. Thanks Guys! BTW very high when I wrote this, I am just assuming its not horrible**
Retro Rob: “Oh my god.”
Mrs. Retro: “AAAHHHHHH”
Doctor Riggs: “THERE WE GO! Congratulations, you are now the parents of a healthy baby girl.”
The doctor places the newly born child into the warm embrace of her mother.
Doctor Riggs: “Ill give you guys some skin time for a few minutes, and we will be right back to do some of the numbers. Congrats again you guys.”
Retro leans in close to his wife and his newly born daughter
Retro Rob: “I can’t believe we are finally parents, look at how beautiful she is. I love you!”
Mrs. Retro: “I love you to”
The door to the hospital room creeps slowly open as a familiar voice is hear.
Unknown: “Retro…….Retro Rob…...look who is here.
Retro Rob: “Wait what, why the hell are you guys here. Get the hell out of here, we just had a god damn baby.”
Unknown: “My my dear friend, that is how we talk to eachother after all these years. You haven’t seen us since your WrestleWars days. How can you say you don’t miss The Captain Fantastic and myself, Gary “The Geezer” Wilkinson. We were like family…”
Retro Rob: “Family?!?!? Your perverted friend there was always saying the grossest shit to me, and you were the biggest asshole. You once told me to fuck a dog up the ass because you didn’t like the shoes I was wearing.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Never the less, I, I mean WE didn’t come here to rehash stories from the glory days, we just wanted a second of your time.”
Retro Rob: “You can’t not be serious, guys we just had a baby like 2 minutes ago….wait, why are you guys still even here? How did you even get past security…...never mind, I’ll just remove your fucking asses myself.”
Retro steps away from his wife and tries to grab both Gary and The Captain. Right as he got in close, Gary pulls out a small pistol and shoves it in Retro’s belly.
Gary Wilkinson: “What do you think you are doing. You should know well enough to not come at me and The Captain like that.
Mrs. Retro screams in shock, clinging to the baby.
The Captain Fantastic: “Please don’t scream, you will only frighten the your child. No one here is coming to help you guys. Do not think for a second Gary and I didn’t tie up loose ends.”
Gary Wilkinson: “You don’t get to where I get to if you don’t know how to pull a few strings. By strings I mean everyone on this floor right now is under the impression if they say anything about us being here, we will blow up the hospital.”
Retro Rob: “You can’t be fucking serious right now. You guys are wrestling commentators, possible homesexual partners, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mrs. Retro: “Of course not.”
Retro Rob: “I mean that's great if that’s who you are.”
Mrs. Retro: “Absolutely”
Retro Rob: “I have many gay friends.”
Mrs. Retro: “My fathers gay.”
Gary Wilkinson & The Captain Fantastic: “SHUT UP!”
Retro Rob: “I mean seriously, when the fuck did you two become some kind of evil villians. That is a pretty big jump from calling wrestling matches. Who does that?”
Gary Wilkinson: “Its been a long journey since we last worked together. After you left, we were replaced by cheaper, crappier talent. I promise you this, I will kick that Dave Damented right in the nuts the next time I see him.”
Retro Rob & The Captain Fantastic: “Join the club.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Anyway, we bounce around from promotion to promotion, not really getting anywhere. Then one day we noticed the crazy amount of prescription medication all these guys were taking.”
Retro Rob: “I know, it is kind of a country wide epidemic.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Never the less my friend, we took that as a business opportunity and started to collect cheap as shit pain meds, and sell them premium to the boys we would call for. We are making a crazy amount of money.”
The Captain Fantastic: “It has been great, I mean how do you think I pay for a fur coat like this.”
Retro Rob: “Well what the hell does that have to do with me, my wife and my daughter.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Here is the thing, we are making a lot of money but The Captain and I are afraid of this drying up so we want to be prepared.”
The Captain Fantastic: “We don’t want to get caught with our balls hanging out of our shorts, if you know what I mean?”
Retro Rob: “I don’t.”
The Captain Fantastic: “Well, if you undo your pants…”
Gary Wilkinson: “CAPTAIN! Anyway, so we are now betting on the same matches we are calling. We take one of these idiot wrestlers, put a gun in his face and say if he wins, he can live. If he loses, we shoot him in the fucking head. If he doesn’t want to participate, we shoot him in the head anyway. We find it more amusing instead of just paying them off.”
Retro Rob: “You two are fucking sick. If you are betting on wrestling matches, what the hell are you doing here. I am not a wrestling anymore guys, I haven’t been for a few years. You are threatening to bomb a hospital full of hundreds of men, women and children, all for a guy who is retired from the same sport your betting on?”
Gary Wilkinson: “There really isn’t a bomb, we aren’t complete monsters. These idiots just think there is, and thats mostly just as good.”
The Captain Fantastic: “We do have our manners.”
Gary Wilkinson: “All we have been betting on is rather small potatoes, and we need your name to get into the big time. We know that people will give you opportunities if you call them. We need you to make one of those phone calls for us.
Retro Rob: “Guys, seriously, I am not a wrestler anymore, no chance I would even win any match now. I am not in wrestling shape. I would get my ass kicked.”
Gary Wilkinson: “I am going to repeat myself as I said this already. If you win, you can live. If you lose, I shoot you in the head. If you do not accept these terms as given, I will shoot you in the head.”
Retro Rob: “I wouldn’t even know who to call to get a match for you guys. I don’t know what you want me to do here.”
Gary Wilkinson: “There is a special event coming up….um, what is it called again Captain?”
The Captain Fantastic: “Anarchy 50, run by those guys at Riot Star.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Its going to be a BIG BIG show. They are going to have a bunch of alumni come back. It is going to be a big money show, and we know that if you make one phone call, you can get on that card.
Retro Rob: “And if I say no, and don’t make that call, you are going to shoot me in the head, is that it?”
Gary Wilkinson: “If you don’t believe me, just ask an old friend of yours.”
Gary drops a polaroid picture of Jimmy Cannon, a former WrestleWars fan favorite and personal friend of Retro Rob.
Gary Wilkinson: “The funny thing is, when I asked Jimmy the same questions I am asking you, he just found out he wife can never have kids. Isn’t that funny. So he just finds this out, and then I ask him, he says no, and I shoot him in the head. Now you may have not believed me if I didn’t just drop a picture of your good friend dead on the floor.”
Retro Rob: “You insane mother fucker, if you didn’t have this gun I would kill you right now.”
Gary Wilkinson: “Now, I want you to make the call and ask for a match. Better yet, I want you to ask for a fatal four way match, and make it weird. Ask to make it a very funny yet stupid match. This is going to be fun to bet on, wouldn’t you say Captain.”
The Captain Fantastic: “It is going to be Fan...:”
Gary Wilkinson: “If you say fantastic I will kill you next! Now Retro, make the call.
Retro ponders on his choice. He could try to overtake the two but risks hurting himself, his wife, and the baby. If he wrestles, he could end up dead as well, with a very small chance of winning. He takes out his cell phone, and takes a deep breathe……….
**I want to thank you guys for inviting me to the show. Its been a few years for me, so its nice to be remembered. I want to thank Fowler for allowing me to use Gary, I didn’t ask him or anything so I am just going to assume he is fine
I want to thank Jimmy Cannon, wherever you are, for letting me kill you. Thanks Guys! BTW very high when I wrote this, I am just assuming its not horrible**
