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Post by cooldude on Jul 19, 2019 23:08:02 GMT -5
Scene starts in a dusty basement. A large man is seen fumbling with the camera, attempting to put it on a tripod. Once it finally stays put, he looks into the camera and begins to speak in a thick Southern accent.
Eli: "Hey there, e'rybody. It's me, Eli O'Brady. Tha mety-phorical Noah of our modern-day society. Y'know, I jus' hearda story in the news. I don' usually watch tha news, but it just so happened ta be on. Anyway, them news wimmin were gabbin' on 'bout how them North Koreans testin' somethin' called'a ICBM. What'sa ICBM? Well, I used tha Web ta ree-search it, and found out it's purty much a nuke that them Koreans don't even needa plane to drop on us. Now, I know yu're notta dumbass, an' ya can see what lies for us as well as I: all-out nuclear dee-struction. Them Kim Jong folks are fixin' ta bomb us. It's what I've been sayin' the whole dang-ol' time: our chance ta act is wastin' away. We gotta move fast: build yurself one'a those nuclear fallout bunkers. Stock up on as much food as you can git yur hands on. Most importan'ly, repent. 'Poligize ta God for all the mistakes ya made. Maybe, jus' maybe, if we all do it, He'll forgive us, an' the doomsday won't never happen.
If yu're still listenin' ta this message, please, spread tha word of the Lord! We can still save the world from these damn godless fiends!
Eli puts his head down for a quick prayer, mumbles something about proving people wrong, then shuts off his camera.
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Post by cooldude on Jul 19, 2019 23:08:31 GMT -5
Apologies for being late. My fault.
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