Battleground #16 :Mass Effect! (Show)

[SWAT Team]

[The cameras are back and before the announcers can get a word out "Voice of the Voiceless", by Rage Against the Machine nearly blows the roof off the building and out struts Calum Morgan wearing his wrestling gear and decked out in Engima War Paint. He goes to the ring and begins to speak.]


Calum Morgan: Let's not waste any time jibber-jabbering.."Ladies Man" Michael Maddox get your ass out here right now..


Andrew Fulton: Calum is calling out his own partner?


Jeremy Tucker: The elephant in the room these last few weeks has been is #BarCode on the same page. Are they good friends? Are they better enemies? I think tonight we are going to find out before #Barcode takes on the 2019 Anzac Cup Tournament winners..Chianti. "Timeless' Alex Turner and "The Man Who Out Promoed Radu" Joey Morelli!

["Freak Like Me", by Halestorm blares over the PA and out comes Michael Maddox to a mixture of cheers and boos. He too is dressed for battle in Engima paint. He makes his way to the ring and steps over the top rope and gets in Calum's face.]


Michael Maddox: Question me? Question my loyalty?


Calum Morgan: You're damn right I am!


Michael Maddox: I've done nothing to have you question me. This is what they want us to do. Fight each other.


Calum Morgan: What's with your wife always calling me names..huh, answer me that, Mark!


Michael Maddox: It's Mike. And as far the KGB goes-


[The lights flicker then go off. Smoke fills the arena and its pitch black.]


Jeremy Tucker: Who turned the lights off? What the hell is going on in the ring? I can't see a damn thing! 


Andrew Fulton: I hear a lot of noise but between the dark and smoke its hard to see what's going on!


[The lights come on an Michael Maddox is laying unconscious out side the ring in a pool of his own blood on top of three tables stacked high. Soutter and Bruno are beating the hell out of Calum in the ring.]


Andrew Fulton: KGB!! They are dismantling #BarCode right in front of our eyes!


["Timeless" Alex Turner is holding a ladder still while his tag partner Joey Morelli is perched on the very top. Roxy takes lighter fluid out of her bra and lights the bottom table on fire. Joey jumps off the top of the ladder and lands a huge elbow that sends himself and Maddox thru all 3 tables. The bottom table sets them both on fire.]


Jeremy Tucker: Maddox and Morelli are both on fire!


Andrew Fulton: The fire crew is out here with fire extinguishers!


Jeremy Tucker: Calum is trying to fight off Soutter and Bruno but it's too much!


[Joey Morelli tries to recuperate. Timeless makes sure the fire is all the way out. Maddox rolls around hiding his face in a towel as EMTs race him on a back board and neck collar to the back. The EMTs try comforting Maddux as he screams in pain.]


Andrew Fulton: Maddox is in bad shape.


Jeremy Tucker: What about the tag match? Who replaces Maddox?


Andrew Fulton: That's a good question. That's a #BarCode problem.


[The referee restores order and throws Soutter, Bruno and Roxy out of this match. He gets Timeless in one corner and Calum Morgan in the other. Morgan has to use the ropes to prop himself up. He flips Timeless off then waves him in saying, "Come on!". Morelli slowly gets up and takes his spot outside on the apron.]


Bell: Ding..Ding..Ding!


Jeremy Tucker: The bell sounds and now we have a handicap match..Chianti vs. Calum Morgan!


Andrew Fulton: Put a fork in Calum...he's done. Nobody can overcome these odds.


Jeremy Tucker: Here we go! Timeless with a arm drag on Morgan. Calum back up and a Drop Kick by Timeless right on the chin of Calum!


Andrew Fulton: A thing of beauty!


Jeremy Tucker: Timeless is so agile for a 260 pound plus man!


Andew Fulton: Timeless arm drags Calum into their corner of the ring and tags in Joey Morelli!


[Morelli continues to put a beating on Calum.]


Jeremy Tucker: Those well educated feet and piston like right hands from Morelli!


Andrew Fulton: Morelli has trained with the Gracie's for years. He is undefeated in MMA fights!


Jeremy Tucker: Calum gets up but I think by instinct. I doubt he knows where he is.


Andrew Fulton: Morelli runs at him with Spinning Wheel Kick and I think Calum is done for.


[Morelli drags Calum's lifeless body to the middle of the ring then tags in Timeless.]


Jeremy Tucker: These two maybe the best tag team in the business.


Andrew Fulton: You don't win the Anzac Cup on accident. And this Morelli gave our Swat World Heavyweight Champion, Radu Matei all he could handle at Night of Champions on the XHF NETWORK PPV.


[Timeless runs around and bounces off the ropes a few times then does the Leg Drop of Doom on Calum.]


Jeremy Tucker: Shades of Hulk Hogan!


Andrew Fulton: Timeless with a pin...1...2...3!!


Jeremy Tucker: Calum kicked out!


Andrew Fulton: Are you sure that wasn't a three count? That was awfully close.


Jeremy Tucker: Timeless is furious.


"Timeless" Alex Turner: Get your cameras ready!


[Timeless lifts Calum up by his hair and delivers a huge German Suplex! Flashes from cameras can be seen. He holds on and delivers another. He flips Calum around hits him with a perfect Belly to Belly Suplex.]


Jeremy Tucker: Those Suplexes are some of the best in the business. These two KGB members may seem nice outside the ring but get them in the ring and they are a couple of rabid wolverines!


[Timeless continues his Suplex onslaught.]


Andrew Fulton: Snap Suplex then a second one by Timeless..Calum slowly gets up. ATOMIC DROP followed by a Bulldog! He rubs Calum's face into the canvas..Timeless lifts him up by his pants..Exploder Suplex! Timeless hangs on and they both roll onto their feet..DRAGON SUPLEX by Timeless! And now a Gutwrench Suplex. He's going for the pin!


Jeremy Tucker: 1....2..3!! KGB-


Andrew Fulton: Calum kicked out? How in the hell did he do that?


Jeremy Tucker: I don't know! This Calum Morgan is tougher than a $2 steak I'll tell you that much.


Andrew Fulton: Timeless is frustrated and tags in Joey Morelli.


[Morelli comes in guns blazing. Lethal lefts and piston like right hands. Morelli throws a heavy right hand that breaks Calum's nose. Blood goes flying everywhere.]


Andrew Fulton: I think Joey just broke Calum's nose!


Jeremy Tucker: I think so too..wait a minute..Calum is getting mad!


[Morelli throws more punches to the busted up grill of Calum. Calum stares in Morelli's eyes and absorbs each punch. He's gets madder and madder every time Morelli lands a punch. Finally he blocks punches from Morelli then starts the baby face come back.]


Andrew Fulton: What? How is this guy up making a come back. Impossible!


Jeremy Tucker: He's got testicular fortitude. Calum Morgan may be the toughest son of a bitch I've ever seen!


Andrew Fulton: We have been told that Maddox is being ambulanced to the local hospital!


[Calum kicks Morelli in the nuts. Morelli goes to one knee and Calum DDTs him hard into the canvas. Calum flips Timeless the bird. Timeless tries to come in but the ref cuts him off. Behind the refs back Calum whistles. A fan in the front row throws a toaster in the ring. It is plugged in and hot at ringside. Morelli tries to get up but Calum swings the toaster around and smashes Morelli. He then smashes the toaster into Morelli's face and it leaves burn marks from the slots. Just before the ref turns around Calum throws the toaster back to the outside floor. Morelli tries to get up but Calum hits him with his own finisher..his Joe KO (Cutter). Calum goes for the pin on Morelli.]


Jeremy Tucker: Calum with the pin..1...2...thr-


Andrew Fulton: Broken up by Timeless. Timeless is stomping a mudhole in Calum. Morelli is up and they are beating the hell out of the bloodied up Calum. Two on one!

youtube.com/4sXoA7B5yJo

["Freak Like Me", by Halestorm rocks the house PA .The arena is filled with thunderous cheers as Michael Maddox slowly limps down to ring with a chair in one hand, head bandaged up and an IV hanging out of his arm.]


Jeremy Tucker: MADDOX!! MADDOX!! HE'S coming to help Calum! Finally the numbers are even!


Andrew Fulton: He has a chair! That's not cool.


[Maddox hits the ring and cleans house. He swings the chair and almost hits Timeless as he jumped over the top rope avoiding getting hit. He winds up and comes within an inch as Morelli leaps over the top rope and onto the floor as well.]


Jeremy Tucker: MADDOX just cleaned house. He's fending KGB off with that chair. He gives Calum his hand and helps him up. Listen to this place. Calum is on his feet. He smiles with blood in his teeth and shakes Maddox's hand. These people are on their feet. Pandemonium has broken loose!


[Maddox lifts Calum's arm up high.]


THUMP!!!


Jeremy Tucker : What in the hell? Maddox just hit his #BarCode partner with that steel chair! 


[Maddox laughs and smiles. Timeless and Morelli both come in the ring and are all smiles.]


Andrew Fulton: Haha. What a coup for KGB!! The Big Freak is their newest member!


[Camera pans to a kid crying in the front row. The place is littered with boos and jeers.]


[Maddox hands Timeless the already dented chair. Timeless puts it over Calum's face and Maddox goes to the other side of the ring and runs delivering a One Legged Drop Kick to the chair and face of Calum.]


Jeremy Tucker: FACE LIFT!! FACE LIFT!!


[Timeless makes the cover as Maddox and Morelli go back on the outside.]


Jeremy Tucker: No! No! The cover! 1....2....3..Chianti and the KGB have won this match thanks to the back stabbing Micheal Maddox! I can't believe it!


Andrew Fulton: I can! Pesci always has a plan. The question now, is Avery McCullen, the wife of Maddox going to join KGB?


Jeremy Tucker: Probably not. KGB isn't her style.


Andrew Fulton: We said the same about Maddox and he joined!


Jeremy Tucker: Timeless and Maddox are walking to the bsck and Calum is being drug to the back by agents. Calum is refusing medical attention and wants to walk out on his own two feet. Morelli is in the ring with a mic.


Joey Morelli: First of all, we ALL know I out wrestled, and out promoed Radu Matei at Night of Champions. Radu was lucky to walk out with the SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! He knows it..Mongo knows it..hell the whole social media world knows it.


Moving on. There's these two cats that can't keep me or Timeless' name out of their mouths. Strikeforce? You want a shot at the best tag team in the business? You it got fellas..at the Tribute you better bring that A game..no easy buttons or Fisher Price when it comes to Chianti of the KGB. As far as Calum goes...SORRY NOT SORRY!


Jeremy Tucker: Chianti of the KGB versus Strikeforce at the ppv!! What a match that we'll be.


Andrew Fulton: Another victim it sounds like. We'll be right back after these brief messages!

[SWAT Team]

(They return from commercials for various football pre season games, new television shows and movies along with SWAT's wrestling streaming service and Avery McCullen promoting Ireland's tourist industry before returning to the arena where fans are holding signs saying "Canelli's a Hit!," "Daredevil's in the House!," "Chain me and kiss me Joanne!" "Marry me Avery!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headphones.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back and coming up in a matter of moments is a very angry Avery McCullen who's out to prove that she can retain her SWAT Amazons Women's Championship against anyone without interference from anyone including her husband."

Andrew Fulton: "He was only trying to help her out, how ungrateful, and now, he is with the Bandits, so i don’t think he would want to be helping her against his new Stablemates."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well what we do know is that Avery's facing off against 'The Jersey Devil Diva' Joanne Canelli. The ironic thing is Joanne lost that six-man match last show to Psychotic Goth, Frostbite and Alex Withers and yet SWAT Boss Joe Pesci gives her a shot at Avery's title."

Andrew Fulton: "Hey she earned the title shot and now she gets the chance to prove that she's championship calibre material and tonight she's going to prove it. Believe you me there's going to be a new top Amazon and that's going to be Joanne Canelli."

Jeremy Tucker: "The other irony is that Joanne Canelli's 'The Jersey Devil Diva' and Avery's 'Daredevil' which is going to make things quite interesting in their own right."

Andrew Fulton: "You can say these two women are going to have a devil of a time and one's going to be bedeviling the other and in the end will be bedeviled."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's true one's going to be bedeviled in the end. Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "Ladies and gentlemen this next bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from The Jersey Shore, New Jersey. She comes in at 5'11" and weighs in at 135lbs. She is 'The Jersey Devil Diva!" Please welcome Joanne Canelli."

(The lights go down, and the ringsiders boo as the spotlight goes over the crowd. As the spotlight comes to a stop at the back of the entranceway, as "Courtesy Call" by Thousand Foot Krutch begins. A picture of the Italian flag, with the words "Full Blooded Italians" is written underneath. It soon changes to mob hits, newpaper clippings from the most recent to the lat 1900's, but soon changes once again, to the shots of Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arena's from times since past. The spotlight focuses on four figures standing at the back of the ramp. This is Joanne and her bodyguards. They make their way down the ramp with Joanne in the middle with Reno and Rude on either side, and Scarpaci following behind talking amongst themselves ignoring the crowd among them. When they reach the ring, Reno holds open for her as she slips inside, only to follow behind and in the middle of the ring, around her. She removes her jacket, and hands it to one of the guys, before they head out of the ring.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Dublin, Ireland. She comes in at 5'8" and weighs in at 131lbs. She is the current SWAT Amazons Women's Champion. Please welcome 'Daredevil' Avery McCullen."

Andrew Fulton: "Avery McCullen may be hated but tonight the ringsiders are going to explode with support."

(The house lights go down, as pink and blue spotlights go over the crowd, The Rum Jacks-An Irish Pub Song begins to play over the speakers. The tron comes to life with an aerial view of Ireland, and then changes to different scenes of the places that Avery has been in her adventuring days. It soon changes to some of her old matches and the chaos and destruction that she had caused. As spotlight restat the back of the stage where Avery is standing with her head lowered. As the vocals start she raises her head, and starts down the rampway. As she reaches the end of the rampway she sprints to the ring, and leaps onto the edge of the ring, and slips through the ropes. She hops up onto the nearest rinpost and looks over the crowd before hopping down and removes the leather jacket she wears and waits for her opponent.)

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell rings and both women meet in the center of the ring. They start jaw jacking before pushing and shoving the other.

Andrew Fulton: "They continue to push and shove each other but start trading lefts. Avery McCullen forces Joanne Canelli into the ropes and clotheslines her out of the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery roars and bounds into the ropes and flies over the ropes and out of the ring wiping Joanne out. She springs up and roars along with the ringsiders."

Avery McCullen: "FBI! FULL BLOODED IRISH!"

Andrew Fulton: "You can bet that Joanne's not going to be too pleased by that remark. Avery grabs a steel chair and she starts beating Joanne with it. She throws Joanne back into the ring unceremoniously before throwing the chair in and returning to the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery opens up a can of whoop ass and she's dominating 'The Jersey Devil Diva.' Avery whips Joanne into the ropes and she dropkicks her followed by a knee drop to her throat and she holds it for a choke. She continues until the five count and releases the hold she had on the 'Mob Princess.'"

Andrew Fulton: "The referee's warning Avery forgetting this is a SWAT Amazons match and anything goes. Avery whips Joanne into the corner and charges in but Joanne counters with a boot to the face. She delivers a stiff clothesline of her own."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne finds the chair and starts beating Avery with the chair. She leaves the ring and looks under the ring and finds a barbed wire baseball bat. She reenters the ring and smashes that barbed wire baseball bat into Avery's back. Then she smashes the bat into Avery's head and she's bleeding."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's showing why she's a true 'Mafia Princess.' She starts kicking 'The Daredevil' with a vengeance followed by a series of vicious stomps to the head."

Joanne Canelli: "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IRISH BITCH!"

Jeremy Tucker: "There's no love lost between these two women. Joanne leaves the ring again and finds a sledgehammer and slides it into the ring before returning as Avery slowly gets up. She uses the sledgehammer to double Avery over and does it again."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's determined to win the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship and do it in anyway possible. Joanne delivers another series of shots with that sledgehammer before using the butt of the sledgehammer to choke Avery."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne lost a top contenders match against former SWAT Pan Amazons Champion Olympia. Now thanks to Joe Pesci she's on the verge of possibly winning the top women's prize in SWAT. Joanne whips Avery into the ropes and clotheslines her hard."

Andrew Tucker: "Joanne's determined to teach her a lesson for mocking her F.B.I. heritage and to send a message to the SWAT Amazons lockerroom that she's going to be the top Amazon and that she's going to be giving the orders. Joanne whips Avery into the corner and charges in but Avery counters with a Brogue kick out of the corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery's showing Joanne that she's not going to give her title up without a fight. Avery scoop slams Joanne with authority and finds the barbed wire baseball bat and beats her in the back with it. She waits and hits her in the head with it."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's busted open and she's bleeding profusely. Avery's not through yet as she finds the chair and beats Joanne with it. She sets the chair up before suplexing her onto the chair and 'The Mob Princess' is in pain."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery's not done yet. She places the chair between Joanne's leg and stomps on it with out mercy. She leaves the ring and looks under the apron and finds a baseball bat and re enters the ring."

Avery McCullen: "NOW FOR REAL IRISH HELL 'JERSEY DEVIL DIVA' BITCH!"

Andrew Fulton: "Avery delivers a taste of Joanne's own medicine. She continues to work on that trapped leg before digging the baseball bat into Joanne's throat."

(Michael Maddox comes to ringside to mostly boos.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Looks like Avery's personal cheerleader is here at ringside."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah, but he’s a Bandit now, hats he going to do here? Do a Tommy Dreamer and take em both?"

Jeremy tucker: "Joanne Canelli's happy that he's at ringside."

Andrew Fulton: "Ooooh I sense a love triangle and a real vicious catfight over Michael Maddox.....Meow! Hiss!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Gimme a break. Avery smashes Joanne's mid-section with that baseball bat. Avery's obsessed with hurting and teaching Joe Pesci a lesson for putting his KGB stable mate into a title match she doesn't deserve to be in. She's out to prove she's a real champion."

Andrew Fulton: "At least she doesn't talk like a man like the GM or Becky Lynch. Michael urges Avery on as she tosses the baseball bat down. Avery double hooks Joanne's arms and suplex's her before rolling over for the cover.....One.....Two.....Kickout!"

Michael Maddox: "COME ON AVERY!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery doesn't look pleased by her husband's presence at ringside. She whips Joanne into the corner and charges in with a flying dropkick. Joanne slumps down in the corner like a rag doll."

Andrew Fulton: "Avery backs up again and she charges in again with a baseball slide dropkick to her face and she falls face first to the canvas. She opens up a can of whoop ass."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery drags Joanne out of the corner unceremoniously and she climbs to the top turnbuckle and flies but Joanne rolls out of the way."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne got lucky there. She barely gets to the ropes and uses them to get back up. She opens up a can of whoop ass of her own before shaking her bad leg out. Joanne starts to work on Avery's good leg. Imagine Avery helped Joanne break her leg and Joanne's happy to return the favor by using that baseball bat."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Joanne's a 'Mob Princess' and she's showing that she can do what every mobster can do that she can do better."

Andrew Fulton: "That and then some. Joanne's obviously collecting an overdue debt. She's making eyes and throws him a kiss making Avery jealous and a catfight inevitable....Meow! Hiss! Oh yeah she wants to make out with him. I guess that other chained woman couldn't cut it...Oh Joanne please make out with me."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh excuse I thought you and SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Champion Blaze Freya were a couple or are you through."

Andrew Fulton: "We have an understanding."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah, she understands your the biggest creep in the world, and for some reason, digs that. Joanne continues to work on that arm and she wants to end Avery's career for good. Joanne continues to work on Avery's arm with clubbing axe handles."

Andrew Fulton: "The referee's checking to see if she wants to submit but Avery's refusing to submit. I guess her great Irish pride and big over inflated Irish ego won't allow her."

Michael Maddox: "COME ON AVERY! YOU CAN FIGHT THROUGH THIS AND BEAT HER!"

Andrew Fulton: "He shouldn’t be cheering against the KGB! He wont last 10 minutes in this group if he keeps this up.."

Jeremy Tucker: "Some people have short attention spans, who joined a group one match ago can forget the following, or think it wont matter if its for their wife. Avery rakes Joanne's eyes and then gouges her eyes before using her good arm to punch and then she kicks Joanne before she shakes her bad arm and leg trying to get some circulation back in them."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne clotheslines Avery over the top rope and out of the ring. Avery lands hard in the concrete floor and Michael goes over and helps her up as Joanne smiles and dares Avery to get back into the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Michael assists Avery back into the ring smiling more at Joanne than Avery and offering encouraging words to Avery. I don't know what's going on but I don't like it one bit and I don't trust him for a moment."

Michael Maddox: "COME ON AVERY! COME ON YOU CAN BEAT HER!"

Andrew Fulton: "See he's still loyal to his wife, this i don’t get, people can just be half in, the Bandits will string him up and spit him out. Joanne mounts and she grounds and pounds Avery's head and face relentlessly. Avery manages to turn her over and she returns the ground and pound with her good arm in turn."

Jeremy Tucker: "Both women roll across and out of the ring. They continue their brawl outside the ring and Joanne whips Avery who reverses it and she sends Joanne into the ringsteps. Avery charges and they go rolling over the ringsteps and onto the concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "Well this match has just turned into an all out brawl that all SWAT Amazon matches are known for. Avery mounts and grounds and pounds Joanne before going under the ring and she pulls out a spool of barbed wire. She tosses barbed wire into the ring and then tosses Joanne back into the ring unceremoniously."

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery re enters the ring and unspools the barbed wire. She wraps it around Joanne's face and head before pulling back and Joanne's screaming in pain and Avery's roaring in rage."

Avery McCullen: "NOW YOU'LL KNOW REAL BLOODSHED YOU ITALIAN BITCH!"

Andrew Fulton: "Avery wants to punish Joanne and she's enjoying every moment of it. She digs her knee into her back and continues to pull back even harder. Avery continues to pull back with one arm and uses her bad arm to deliver clubbing forearms to Joanne's chest. She grimaces in pain but doesn't care."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne's receiving a brutal beatdown much worse than what Olympia gave her when they met. She lets go of the barbed wire and rips it off of Joanne's face and head. Joanne screams in pain and agony. Avery whips Joanne into the corner and she trainwrecks her."

Andrew Fulton: "Avery psyches herself up and she charges in again and she trainwrescks her harder with authority before Joanne stumbles out and Avery belly to bely suplex's her before making the cover.....One...Two....Thr.....No! Joanne kicks out."

Michael Maddox: "FINISH HER AVERY!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery whips Joanne into the opposite corner and roars as she charges in delivering a running knee to Joanne's head followed by a running face plant. She makes the cover.....One.....Two.....Thr....No! Joanne kicks out."

Andrew Fulton: "That was a close one for 'The Mob Princess.' Avery attempts a piledriver but them bad arms still giving her trouble. Joanne reverses it and she piledrives Avery before she makes the cover....One.....Two.....Thre.....No! Avery gets a shoulder up."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne finds the barbed wire and she returns the favour by wrapping the barbed wire around Avery's head and face. She pulls back using a knee to add even more pressure before transitioning to a leg scissors around her abdomen to cut off her air and Avery's screaming in pain."

Joanne Canelli: "BLOOD FOR BLOOD IS WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT!"

Michael Maddox: "DON'T LISTEN TO THAT ITALIAN BITCH! YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT!"

Andrew Fulton: " Avery struggles to get to the ropes as her husband follows her as she reaches the ropes....Uh oh he just slipped and accidentally pushed her foot off the rope."

Jeremy Tucker: "You need glasses since Michael pushed her foot off the ropes intentionally. There was nothing there to trip Michael up and you know it."

Andrew Fulton: "I didn't see him do anything intentional since he just tripped and hit her foot that was on the ropes."

Jeremy Tucker: "Like I said you need glasses. Avery gets a leg on the ropes and the referee sees it and counts to five. Joanne milks the count and she rips the barbed wire off of Avery's head and face and Avery's screaming in pain and agony."

Andrew Fulton: "Both these women are going to need plastic surgery."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's going to be rather obvious."

Andrew Fulton: "Of course none of them are going to want to have sex while their faces are all bandaged up."

Jeremy Tucker: "Don’t think it would stop you creepo."

Andrew Fulton: "Who said anything about me. Joanne sets up the barbed wire along with both the baseball and barbed wire baseball bats in the center of the ring. She positions Avery and she suplex's her onto the barbed wire and baseball bats along with the barbed wire. Avery's screaming in more pain and agony and Joanne leaves the ring and slingshot cannonballs right onto her for the cover....One....Two....Thre.....No! Avery gets a shoulder up."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne's getting into the referee's face reminding him about who's paying him but the referee's not having any of it. Joanne sets Avery up for a powerbomb but Avery punches her way out and barely lands on her feet. Avery superkicks Joanne and makes the cover.....One.....Two.....Thre....No! Joanne gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne survived that one. Avery whips Joanne in to the ropes and spears Joane,,,,One....Two.....Thre...No! Joanne barely gets an arm up."

Jeremy Tucker: "I thought I saw Joanne signal something to Michael Maddox and I don't like it one bit."

Andrew Fulton: "Come on Jerry. You're letting your imagination run wild. Avery whips Joanne into the ropes but Joanne holds on as Avery charges and she holds the ropes down and Avery goes flying out of the ring onto the concrete floor."

Jeremy Tucker: "Michael goes over to Avery to try and help her up but Joanne attempts to grab Avery by the hair and the referee restrains her. Michael just said something to Avery as if he wants forgiveness in advance. The referee's still distracted while Michael executes a Face lift (claymore) to his OWN WIFE!”

Andrew Fulton: "He is a Bandit! Bandits > Wives.”."

Jeremy Tucker: "This is disgusting! Michael Maddox just Face Lifted HIS OWN WIFE! All to impress his new KGB cronnies!"

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne signals the end and sets up Avery McCullen. She lifts her up and bucklebombs her hard into the corner. She makes the cover and intentionally lifts Avery's head up as Michael watches on with pride. She smiles sadistically and helps her back up."

Jeremy Tucker: "She just mouthed something to Michael who shakes his head as she sets Avery up and again executes a second bucklebomb in to the corner. She drags her out unceremoniously and this time makes the cover and hooks the leg.....One....Two....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 12minutes and the new SWAT Amazons Women's Champion 'The Jersey Devil Diva' Joanne Canelli."

Jeremy Tucker: "Score one for Joe Pesci's mob family and the KGB with some help from their newest member, Avery's husband Michael Maddox."

Andrew Fulton: "I told you Joanne Canelli's going to be the new champion."

Jeremy Tucker: "With some help from Avery's husband Michael Maddox after he also screwed his own partner Calum Morgan and now he did it to his wife too."

Andrew Fulton: "She'll understand his justification to do so. It's just business and not personal."

(Michael takes his jacket and shirt off to reveal another shirt with the KGB logo on the front and hands the belt to Joanne as his wife recovers enough and glares at him.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Avery looks pissed after her husband showed his true colors by selling out for a spot in the KGB."

Andrew Fulton: "What can he say to both Calum Morgan and Avery McCullen that they haven’t done before, Avery just did to Lucky Linda, now, the shoes on the other foot."

Jeremy Tucker: "But they weren’t married! Joanne may be celebrating now but she better watch her back since she has a giant bull's eye on her back and not even Joe Pesci and her bodyguards will be able to saved her. Avery McCullen's going to be the one who vaults right into the front of the line again to get revenge for her title being stolen. We'll be back after taking a break to hear some words from our sponsors."

(They fade to black.)

[radu]

[The following promo has been cut over time lapse photography of a cow carcass rotting away, slowly being eaten by the worms within.  The cow represents SWAT by the way.  Those of you viewers that are squeamish can cover their eyes.  I wouldn't wish watching SWAT on anyone.  Put the insects out of your maggot brain, and focus on the voice.  The voice is all that matters.  Just in case you wanted a visual to go with it though, you can take a peak at the cow whenever you want...]


I am comfortable with things that turn most men's stomachs.


Allowing earwigs to crawl across the bulbs up under my eyelids, is something I can do without blinking... yet the thought of Hell's Bouncer claiming to be the world champion runs a shiver down my spine.


Different people have different triggers.


...For instance, the thought of references other wrestling personalities that aren't a part of the XHF Network?  The Fairtex brothers comparing themselves to the Hart Foundation... <ugh> I'm sorry... gag reflex.  Something that Candice Morelli knows nothing about.  So to RECAP.  Let potato bugs stumble around on my tongue, occasionally biting away the soft tissue of my gums?  NO problem.  LOWER MYSELF to the level of referencing the competition?  I'm shivering.  For all the million authority figures in SWAT, from that tool Pesci, to his lover Soutter, and that alleged woman i don't talk about... you would think one of them would start justifying their pay by handing out some fines and DISCOURAGING such BACKYARD INDY promo shit.  I give HB flake for being a barely functional autistic who tries to perform waist locks with his head up his own ass... but the rest of you aren't that much better.  Why do I mention this?


GREAT HEYMAN impression Frostbite.


Nothing about it made me regret my title defence tonight.  You really had all the nuances of his voice down, like you watch everything he's ever done, and maybe have some Heyman PJs at home.  Your wife must be so proud. <beat> ...oh right. <snap>


With your amazing impressions, no wonder you scored a WORLD TITLE SHOT with a six man tag pin.  Maybe they thought you were your whole fucking team, and just doing acts of the other two clowns?  That was a touch of surreal humour, in case I have to spell it out for you.


So Frostbite makes a MEAN Paul E.  ...remind me... when did he hold the world title?







OH RIGHT.... he didn't... because he's a fucking manager.  So your frame of reference for pandering to the audience is doing the impression of someone who is good on the mic.  Nice thinking Frosty.  You totally had me convinced that you should be someone who stands in the corner of the champion... not wrestle for the titles... or wrestle... but stand in the corner.  I'm a champion... you could stand in my corner?  ONLY....



...I don't go in for that high school gym INDY shit.


[Despite being a dick heel, Radu's seething bitterness seems to be getting some nice pops.  Apparently the dude who breaks women's necks and throws bugs into the audience is a tweener based on how many of the SWAT wrestlers are assholes.  Good job guys.  You viewers pick up on the pops, maybe its turned into an in-ring?  You open your eye just enough to see a red worm burst out of a cow's eye.  YOU REALLY WISH YOU'D FINISHED THAT PIZZA BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED!]


Frostbite... you mentioned that I didn't beat anyone to win this title.  HB sucks.  It was him I defeated to take it.  So I'm little more than a paper weight.  My wordplay, not yours... incidentally mine was better.


So I beat no one, huh?


Joker's Wild.


Battle Bowl.


Yeah, I beat a FRESH HB for the strap... but how did I get that shot?  OH RIGHT.  I won BATTLE BOWL.  So my world title win doesn't really represent just beating Hell's... but beating the entire SWAT roster.


Frostbite... I know you've been around FOREVER... and since your missus passed on, you find yourself forgetting things... like her smile.  ...But let me clue you in on something.  Battle Bowl?  Joker's Wild?  YOU WERE IN THAT MATCH... so I guess what I'm trying to say is... who did I beat for the title?  


No one.  Just you.  You stupid son of a bitch.


That's what we call a freezer burn.

[Cold as ice.]

You remember when SWAT was great?  I seem to remember you wrestling a bear, and no one thinks back on that fondly.  You've been wrestling in dozens of feds while everyone else was wrestling on their laurels?  Where have I heard that before?  Did you use the same speech back when we started up on Tapatalk?  Are you so old and senile that you have flashbacks, recycling your old promos without even realizing it?  Or do you just have that little to say.  I'm glad you've stayed fit in all these other promotions... its one thing to have the same match every night, but the same promo?  That takes a big man.


Your manager impressions not scoring enough cheap heat, you have to badmouth the NFL?  Are you actually claiming to be working class?  FROSTBITE... you wrestle EVERYWHERE... to take the lion's share of the gates based on how long you've been lingering.  Leaving barely enough money to cover gas for those kids setting the rings up and working the opener.


...Are you really the only face in MY fed, because much like your wife's pulse, I just don't get it.


See Frosty... since your a manager... let me clue you into a few things.


When you're the champion... you respect your opponent enough to bring the goods and hype him up.  I tried to do that for you.  I even put off you making us look bad in the XHF as being Pesci's fault... built up your war with Soutter while making excuses for you.  That was class on my part.  While you?  You play up what a better match we're going to have than my previous defences... its one thing to talk about the level of challenge, but you can do that without putting down Lucky Linda... or the general manager witch... or even god damned Chanti... just focus on us and keep it civil.  Is it that hard for you?  Were you that incensed that the champion discussed a other business before getting to you?  I left you for last - like the main event - because I thought you were worth it, Frosty.  That was a sign of respect.


Do you not have an old Frostbite interview in which you deal with a polite beast that you could draw on for reference?


With your wife now worm food, do you not have anyone to run these rambling rants past?


Seems like we should try to set you up with a nice girl... 


No gold diggers though...


...which shouldn't be a problem, because you have fuck all chance of taking my strap.


[Finally forcing your eyes open, you are relieved to find the rot has taken care of itself, leaving on the bovine's bones behind.  As the champion sets the tone for a defence that is not going to be as friendly as he initially set out, the screen fades to Frostbite's wife's pov.  I mean darkness.]

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar: This is the MAIN EVENT of the evening. This is a one fall match for the Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition World Heavyweight Title!! First the challenger from Boulder, Colorado he stands 6 foot 2 and weighs two-hundred and twenty pounds..he is The Cold Hearted Bastard of Professional Wrestling...he is FRRRRRROSTBIIIIIITE!!!!

[We see lotus flying on the SWATtron for a few seconds as more and more join in, until day turns to night as the image fades out, and the next image you see is tanks firing in the air, and right after that image we see soliders walking in unison and that image fades out and another of a huge nuclear explosion as you see nothing but ashes and dust of a city. The lights in the arena go completely dark for a few seconds as it comes back up a blue light is seen up the show of the steps as someone is standing up there wearing a gray hoodie with their head down. As they slowly pick up their head, we can see an intense look in their blue eyes, we see that it is Frostbite. He takes a walk down the steps as fans reached out to touch his hands or his broad shoulders. As he stops midway looking into the crowd as he nods his head as the crowd chants his name. He gets to the bottom of the step, he climbs over the barricade. He quickly takes off his hoodie and hands it over to some fan at ringside. He turns his attention  to the ring and his opponent with an intense look in his blue eyes. He begins to climb the steps and jumps over the top ropes. He continues to look at his opponent not taking his eyes off of his opponent as the lights turns back to normal and his music fades as he is ready for a war.]


Jeremy Tucker: Last week he got the crucial pin that has given him this shot at the SWAT World Heavyweight Title, tonight at Battleground: Mass Effect right here on the XHF NETWORK! 


Andrew Fulton: If I was a betting man I'd bet you the way KGB has ruled tonight that Frostbite may be in serious trouble!


Jeremy Tucker: The Bandits BETTER not interfere. They don't even have any members in this match!


Andrew Fulton: Doesn't matter..The Suite hates this guy and who's going to stop these Bandits..Pesci? He's the main Bandit. 


Jeremy Tucker: What about our GM? 


Andrew Fulton: She hasn't been the same since losing her Amazon's Title. She seems to be GM on paper only.


Jeremy Tucker: At any rate, listen to these people cheer for our World Heavyweight Champion...Radu Matei!


Frank Salazar: And the Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition World Heavyweight Champion..from Sibu, Russia..standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 225 pounds...Raduuuuuuu Mateeeeei

[The house lights fade, leaving the arena in darkness.]

[Riz Ortolani's haunting theme music to the film Cannibal Holocaust begins to play over the PA system.]

[Purple spotlights search through the crowd, building a sense of dread. The audience boo for the next participant, because he repulses them, but more so they aren't left alone with their thoughts. The erratic movement of the lights start to circle closer together before eventually, the perfect circles of light connect into the body of a large centipede. The visual representation of the insect stalks over the crowd, before racing towards the entranceway. Hitting the black curtains, the purple lights seem to double up, and fold into themselves.]

[Rough hands swatting aside the curtain, the five-time SWAT Dixieland champion pushes his way out into the arena. Its been a while since he had an audience like this. Rather than appreciate the change in pace, he seems to shake with rage, channeling it down towards the ring. Clenching his fists, Radu Matei starts to stalk down the aisle in sync with the music. The audience throws stuff, and generally let him know that his presence isn't appreciated... but they also keep their distance. Anyone who leans over the railing gets slashed by the box cutters he hides in his suit. Some are still stupid enough to see blood, but the majority vocalize their hatred out of arms' reach. Cowards that they are.]

[Approaching ringside, Radu lifts under the curtain to pull out a large box. Patting it, he smiles, before turning his venom back to the ring.]


Time Keeper: Ding..Ding..Ding!!


Jeremy Tucker: Frostbite is going after that large box under the ring. He grabs it and shakes it. He pulls out a canister of something from underneath the ring.


Andrew Fulton: That's canister is full of dry ice!!


Jeremy Tucker: He opens the box and sprays wildly then closes it!


Andrew Fulton: Radu grabs the box from him in horror. He runs to the other side of the ring and checks on whatever is in there this week. He doesnt look happy.


Jeremy Tucker: No worries. If they are cockroaches they live forever. A nuclear war can't kill them!


Andrew Fulton: That dry ice will slow them down until they defrost.


Jeremy Tucker: What is Frostbite doing now?


Andrew Fulton: He has a bucket of something in his hands..Radu angrily charges him on the outside..Frostbite throw the contents of that bucket at Radu!


Jeremy Tucker: That's liquid nitrogen!! It's burning the hell out of Radu!


Andrew Fulton: The ref steps in and grabs the bucket but it's too late. That nitrogen is still burning Radu!


Jeremy Tucker: Frostbite is looking under the ring apron again. He grabs some cooler of some sort!


Andrew Fulton: The Champion is not looking good..and this off a controversial win over Pesci's nephew Joey Morelli who most people think won in EVERY area.


Jeremy Tucker: Frostbite throws the contents of the cooler at Radu. It looks like super ice cold water and soda cans go flying at Radu.


Frostbite: You've been frost bitten you stupid piece of crap!


[Radu tries to get up outside but Frostbite smashes Radu with a running knee that knocks Radu's front tooth out. Blood fills Radu's mouth.]


Andrew Fulton: Radu slips on all that ice water trying to charge Frostbite..he flutters around like a fish out of water!


[Frostbite pulls some kind of canvas sack from underneath the ring. He starts filling it with the full cans of soda and beer. He wraps the bag around his hand then begins to swing it at Radu trying to get up.]


Jeremy Tucker: He is smashing the hell out of Radu. He is blooding him with all the full can of soda blows!


Andrew Fulton: The ref finally gets the sack out of Frostbite's hands and tells him to get in the ring. 


[Frostbite rolls back in the ring and waits for Radu. The referee helps Radu up and rolls him back into the ring.]


Frostbite I heard your promo Radu. You want frost burn? You got it!


[Frostbite rolls outside again and goes straight after the box of bugs. He disappears under the ring and rolls back out with a can of gasoline and a long BBQ lighter. He opens up the box and douses it with the gasoline. He douses the out side of the box too. He flips the switch on the lighter and the box of bugs goes up in flames. Radu's eyes get big as he can't believe what is happening.]


Jeremy Tucker: Frostbite back in the ring and so is Radu. Radu charges Frostbite and begins to unload a series of frantic kicks and sets of solid punches!


[Frostbite figures "turn about is fair play" and no sells the kicks and punches. He just laughs and dances around the ring.]


Andrew Fulton: He no sold?!


Jeremy Tucker: He might as well. Radu has done it this whole title reign. He's taken more liberties than ANY champion I've ever seen. SWAT Dixie is nothing but a made up load of crap!


[Radu pokes Frostbite in his eyes and that changes Frostbite's tune. Radu spits blood from his teeth that were damaged earlier into Frostbite's eye.]


Andrew Fulton: Radu with a DDT!! 


Jeremy Tucker: He botched it on purpose! I think he broke Frostbite's neck. 


Andrew Fulton: He helped his lifeless body up...another unprotected DDT!! He goes for the pin!


Jeremy Tucker: 1...2....thr-


Andrew Fulton: Frostbite kicked out. Radu with a running jumping eye gouge! Great move by our World Champion! Radu takes Frostbite's shirt and now he's choking the challenger with his own sure.


Jeremy Tucker: He slowly tries to help Frostbite to his feet..LOW BLOW!! Radu has this under control now. He criss crosses the ring ropes and drop kicks Frostbite in the back of the head. 


Andrew Fulton: Radu slowly helps Frostbite up by his hair. Radu lifts him up into a Inverted Suplex and balances Frostbite high for about 20 seconds then drops him on his head!


Jeremy Tucker: Centipede Suplex!!


Andrew Fulton: That had to hurt!


Jeremy Tucker: Frostbite with a kick to the nuts of Radu! Radu goes down. Frostbite recovers.


["The Suit" Soutter and Bruno stroll down ring side.]


Jeremy Tucker: Why in the hell are the Bandits down here?


Andrew Fulton: Frosty the Snowman of course!


[Radu is down, frosty clotheslines Bruno straight back over the top.]


Jeremy Tucker: Bruno over the top!


Andrew Fulton: Soutter in the ring going after Frostbite! Soutter grabs Frosty and hits him with the Soutter special (Rikishi Driver).  Radu is fuming, and grabs Soutter, choking him, WHAM!  Low Blow to Radu by Pesci who sneaks in the ring, then a Soutter Special for him too ontop of Frosty who lands hard in the middle of the ring as Radu lands him for the pin.


Jeremy Tucker: 1...2...thr-


Andrew Fulton: THREE! RADU RETAINS thanks to the Bandits! Is Radu a Bandit? What's going to happen next ppv?


Jeremy Tucker: First Morelli clearly got screwed a Night of Champions and now Frostbite. We are out of time but Suit and Bruno are beating the hell out of Frostbite. Morelli is coming down here with a recycle bin. Suit lifts Frostbite in a Gorilla Press and throws him into the bin. Bruno runs and throws the bin off the stage. We gotta go!


Andrew Fulton: See you next week at the Tanner/Packer Tribute show where Radu will defend against Calum Morgan and the newest member of KGB...Mike Maddox! Is Radu a Bandit!? We shall see at The Tribute!