Post by Bobby Barratt on Sept 7, 2019 16:02:13 GMT -5
..::AXW PRESENTS: ANONYMOUS TV::..
09/09/2019
The nice tunes of the ukele begin to play over the speakers as the words of the song blare out over the uppity tune. The filthy scumbag loser we all hate comes out grasping his body pillow tightly. He comes out to the stage and looks around, slightly scared, slightly aroused. He makes his way down the ramp and into the ring, hearing a chorus of boos as he goes to his corner.
Last of the Real by Stone Sour starts to play over the speakers, Darlene comes out eyeing the crowd for a second before she makes her way down to the ring, high-fiveing a few random fans here and there, she circles the ring slowly as her song plays, she then steps back, runs and slides onto the ring apron on her knee, she rests her back on the top rope her arms draped over it, she sticks her tongue out to the crowd, she then throws her arms out into the crucifix pose with metal horns, slowly she raises her arms up above her head crossed, then throws them down, she then turns and leaps into the ring, tossing her jean vest off either out of the ring or towards her opponent if they are already in the ring. She goes to her corner and starts to stretch legs waiting for the match to start.
[...DING DING! DING DING!...]
Darlene paces across from Weeaboo Jones, who waves his favorite cum-stained waifu around like a ragdoll. Darlene rolls her eyes, mouthing off about how she deserves better opponents.
BB Gunn: Darlene is not impressed with the poor talent she faces tonight. But after her poor showing last week, can she afford to disregard competition like this?
Darlene steps up to Jones, and he throws his pillow at her! She bats it away, but Weeaboo follows up with a roaring lariat! Dar is toppled and Jones steps back, his hands in position for a KAMEHAMEHA! He strikes her! Darlene stumbles backwards and trips. Weeb quickly covers her in a pin, as the ref slides in.
[...ONE!...]
[...TWO...]
BB Gunn: WEEB'S GOT HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE'S CHEATING!
[...THREE...]
But the ref misses it. He counts the three! Weeaboo Jones beat Darlene? This can't be right!
Derrick Donovan: That's some damn blasphemy if I've ever seen it!
But the wrong is quickly rightened, as Darlene pounches on the cheating bastard, throwing fists into his face! The crowd roars as she lays the smackdown on him, before she stands up and gestures to the crowd. She takes Weeaboo and kicks him out of the ring, before signing "SSS" in the air.
BB Gunn: Darlene signing the acronym of Sakura Shoujo Stampede! She's jumping ship!
Derrick Donovan: That daughter of a bitch!
BB Gunn: Don't let the Messiah of Hardcore hear you badmouth his daughter.
As the music starts, “Hammerhand” Blake Luthor limps out from the back, looking angry at the entire world. He makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the boos from the fans.
Lucas emerges atop the stage with a worried expression on his face, he glances around nervously before he begins walking down the entrance ramp. Lucas keeps his head down and tries to rush his way to the ring, avoiding eye contact with the fans and cameras.
As Lucas enters he almost trips himself on the ropes and quickly readjusts himself, rushing his way to a corner and again keeping his head down, the ref walks over to ensure he knows all the rules which Lucas hurriedly nods along too. He begins sucking in lungfuls of air as he silently hyperventilates under the sound of the audience.
[...DING DING! DING DING!...]
Perry begins shouting at Lucas, who freaks out and runs at Luthor, arms flailing/in a Naruto run stance. Blake counters the only way he knows how; by knocking him the fuck out with a metal right hook. The whole crowd goes silent, as Blake looks quizically at the ref, saying "this is the best you can do?" He then just stands atop Lucas for the anticlimactic pin.
[...ONE...]
[...TWO...]
[...THREE...]
BB Gunn: THE STREAK IS OVER!
Derrick Donovan: I can't even fathom what just happened.
The show fades to commercial break as Perry yells at an unconcious Lucas, and Luthor looks on in disappointment.
The following is the main event of the evening!
The crowd cheer.
Introducing first, from London England, weighing in at 219lbs... The XHF European Champion, Brad Swann!
'Bohemian Rhapsody' hits the PA as the fans loudly boo, albeit despite some minuscule cheers from the nostalgic hardcore fans (Whether they are cheering for the song or Brad Swann, is unclear). "Is this the real life... Is this just fantasy?". The lights dim black with a spotlight shining lonesomely on the ramp. Out from the back strolls the self-proclaimed "Bullet", "The Investor" Brad Swann. Over his shoulder is the XHF European Championship, which he clutches onto tightly, eerily smirking. The business entrepreneur slowly strolls down the ramp, hunched over like a gremlin... The single spotlight following his every move. He looks around at the fans and almost sneers his nose, keeping his cool and clutching the championship tight. When he reaches the ringside area he makes a few slow laps of the ring, still just only the spotlight following him.
Derrick Donovan: An interesting match up for Brad Swann, as he partners with Vincent Draven to take on the top guy in AXW and the man who to this day still holds the record as the longest reigning XHF European Champion, Dreadvan.
He eventually walks up the ring steps and enters through the middle rope, wiping his feet on the apron before doing so. He slowly hands the title to the referee, staring him down as though threatening his very existence. The hardcam zooms into his face under the spotlight. Slowly he raises his middle fingers up, garnering a big boo from the live crowd. The lights come back on and Swann, pleased with himself, heads over to his corner.
His partner, from The Darkness, weighing in at 219lbs... Vincent Draven!
The lights go dark for a few moments as the titantron shows a bright moon illuminating the room, then the song starts with an eerie twilight glow in the arena as Draven begins walking.
Oscillate yourself tonight
When you're in your bed
Simulate the dopamine
Passing through your head
He makes his way towards the ring with a evil smile on his face. His eyes survey the crowd, grinning. He then turns back to his opponent and hisses, baring his sharp fangs as a threat.
When you get back on a Saturday night
And the room is caving in
Do you look like me? Do you feel like me?
Do you turn into your effigy?
Do you dance like this forever?
He then laughs with amusement at their reaction.
Once he slowly crawls through the ropes. He raises his arms then bows his head in a mocking manner towards the crowd before getting ready.
Their opponents... First, from Blackfish South Dakota. He weighs in at 550lbs... Dreadvan!
The music plays and instantly everyone in the arena the fans scream so hard they spit up blood after a few seconds. Eventually, Dreadvan's large frame makes it's way through the curtain. He does his best to antagonize the fans, but they scream harder still for the Dreadvan. He makes his way slowly towards the ring, his size makes it a long, drawn out process, but he makes it and waits.
His partner, he is from Philadelphia, PA. He weighs in at 223lbs and is the current reigning AXW Champion... Anthony Caffrey!
The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately begins to boo at the top of their lungs as the violins of the orchestra swell to cover the ever-familiar Fall Out Boy song. The man behind the music rises out of an opening in the floor, facing the entranceway rather than the ring. The technician's black and red tights read "Bow to the Emperor" on the back.
When the music hits the My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark/Light 'Em Up Beat, he holds his championship up over his head, so the world can get a view of the nameplate: Anthony Caffrey. The AXW Undisputed Champion has arrived. His entrance is also heralded by a stream of pyro shooting off behind him.
Caffrey turns to face his detractors and has his trademark sinister smile running across his face. The champion throws his championship over his shoulder and walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans screaming and jeering. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponents as he walks with a laser focus, at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponents. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankles were a simple wishbone.
Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his all three men in the ring, handing his glasses and championship off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and gives him one more sinister smile. He's ready for what tonight has to bring.
[...DING!! DING!!...]
Both teams confer amongst themselves and decide that Dreadvan and Swann will start the match.
BB Gunn: A battle of the top of the XHF European Championship division! Come on!
They lock up and Dreadvan makes easy work of Swann, tossing him across the ring. Swann rolls backwards and manages to get to his feet before seeing a steam train sized Dreadvan running at him. He's flattened against the buckle as all of Van's 550lb frame smashes him against the buckles!
Derrick Donovan: Oh my God!
BB Gunn: I'm surprised we didn't see Swann squish through the buckles there like a potato getting mashed!
Van grabs Swann by the head and drags him up, laughing at him. He tosses Swann over to Draven who is trying to make the tag. He makes the tag and hops over the top of the rope, charging at Van, who throws a vicious clothesline. Draven ducks it, hitting the ropes and coming back with a clothesline of his own. The impact hurts Van but he doesn't move. The 300lb weight advantage is too much. Van laughs at Draven, but Draven rakes the eyes!! A few shots to the head and Van finally drops to one knee.
BB Gunn: Now that's how you deal with a weight advantage! Bring em down!
Draven lays a few shots in to the head of Dreadvan before turning to Anthony Caffrey. Caffrey makes the motion of a belt around his waist before making his trademark ankle snapping motion. Draven just hisses in return before turning around into a tree trunk sized arm of Dreadvan.
Derrick Donovan: He just hit him so hard he bounced off the canvas!
BB Gunn: Someone get him checked for a concussion!
Derrick Donovan: Can Vampires get concussion?
Van makes a cover on Draven.
[...ONE!...]
[...KICKOUT!...]
Van doesn't look happy, and looks across to Caffrey, who yells something about him bending the knee before he makes the tag. Van looks pissed and goes back to wailing on Draven some more. Draven fights back with a few shots of his own to release the monstrous grip from the Demon. Draven hits the ropes and takes Dreadvan down with a flying headscissors. A quick cover from Draven!
[...ONE!...]
[...KICKOUT!...]
Draven looks across at his buckle and Swann is looking a little more alive, yelling for the tag. Draven checks he's OK to compete before reluctantly making the tag. Swann climbs through the ropes and gets in Dreadvan's face about being the real King of Eur-
SMACK!!
Caffrey unleashes a slap with a hand the size of a phonebook to the side of Swann's head and we see his eyes roll. Swann has no chance to retaliate as he hits the deck again and Draven is looking pissed.
Derrick Donovan: You can't blame Draven. He didn't look happy about making the tag to Swann.
BB Gunn: Everything Brad Swann has put his hand to this match has turned to shit!
Derrick Donovan: He hasn't put his hand to a thing!
Van turns around and Caffrey is jawing with the crowd, so he takes the chance to slap the back of Caffrey, knocking him off the apron as the slap echoes around the arena! Caffrey looks furious as the Referee tells him he's the legal man in this match now! Eventually, Caffrey gets back into the ring and calls Dreadvan an "ungrateful fat fuck" before laying the boots to the European Champion. Swann can't defend himself and Draven is reaching for the tag. Caffrey notices and goads him before throwing Swann into the corner, allowing him to make the tag so he can "show Dreaddy how it's done in the big leagues!" Draven makes the tag and looks at the two relatively fresh men in front of him and sighs before charging the ring. Caffrey throws a line and again, Draven ducks. Three clotheslines and a dropkick from the Vampire and the Champion is reeling! Van goes to get through the ropes but Draven dropkicks him to the outside before he manages to get through. Caffrey makes another attempt on Draven and hits him with a double sledge to the back! He whips Draven across the ring but he must not have realised what was going on with the match as Draven never hits the ropes! He dives right over them onto the unsuspecting Dreadvan on the outside! Dreadvan hits the rail, putting a crease into it as the crowd give us the traditional "HOLY SHIT!!" chant. Caffrey comes out after Draven, but Draven slides back into the ring before he gets to him and stomps on Caffrey as he slides back into the ring! A quick cover from Draven again barely even gets a one count and Caffrey's shoulder is off the mat! Caffrey grabs the arm of Draven and tries to lock in an armbar, but Draven manages to wriggle free from it and makes the tag to a half conscious Swann! Swann takes a few seconds to work out what's going on before Caffrey is on him, dragging him into the ring. Draven looks on at Swann and drops off the apron, heading up the ramp!
Derrick Donovan: Draven has had enough!
BB Gunn: Wouldn't you be fed up? Swann didn't even show up for this!
Caffrey lays a beatdown on Swann and Swann is struggling to even defend himself at this point! Before we know it, Caffrey has the C.A.L locked in!! Swann isn't tapping out, but all of a sudden, Caffrey feels a slap on his back again and the Referee tells us that the tag was made! Caffrey yells in protest, but it's to no avail, the Demon is back in the ring and he's after the man who holds the title he still feels is his! A splash to Swann and a handful of his hair and before we know it, Swann gets hit with the carwreck!
[...ONE!...]
[...TWO!...]
[...THREE!...]
The winners of this match, Dreadvan and Anthony Caffrey!
Vincent Draven still stands at the top of the ramp, looking sick of Swann's shit. Dreadvan gives Caffrey a glare as he rolls out of the ring and walks up the ramp. The show ends with a shot of Caffrey and Draven staring off as Caffrey raises the title.
[...END FEED...]
The crowd cheer.
Introducing first, from London England, weighing in at 219lbs... The XHF European Champion, Brad Swann!
'Bohemian Rhapsody' hits the PA as the fans loudly boo, albeit despite some minuscule cheers from the nostalgic hardcore fans (Whether they are cheering for the song or Brad Swann, is unclear). "Is this the real life... Is this just fantasy?". The lights dim black with a spotlight shining lonesomely on the ramp. Out from the back strolls the self-proclaimed "Bullet", "The Investor" Brad Swann. Over his shoulder is the XHF European Championship, which he clutches onto tightly, eerily smirking. The business entrepreneur slowly strolls down the ramp, hunched over like a gremlin... The single spotlight following his every move. He looks around at the fans and almost sneers his nose, keeping his cool and clutching the championship tight. When he reaches the ringside area he makes a few slow laps of the ring, still just only the spotlight following him.
Derrick Donovan: An interesting match up for Brad Swann, as he partners with Vincent Draven to take on the top guy in AXW and the man who to this day still holds the record as the longest reigning XHF European Champion, Dreadvan.
He eventually walks up the ring steps and enters through the middle rope, wiping his feet on the apron before doing so. He slowly hands the title to the referee, staring him down as though threatening his very existence. The hardcam zooms into his face under the spotlight. Slowly he raises his middle fingers up, garnering a big boo from the live crowd. The lights come back on and Swann, pleased with himself, heads over to his corner.
His partner, from The Darkness, weighing in at 219lbs... Vincent Draven!
The lights go dark for a few moments as the titantron shows a bright moon illuminating the room, then the song starts with an eerie twilight glow in the arena as Draven begins walking.
Oscillate yourself tonight
When you're in your bed
Simulate the dopamine
Passing through your head
He makes his way towards the ring with a evil smile on his face. His eyes survey the crowd, grinning. He then turns back to his opponent and hisses, baring his sharp fangs as a threat.
When you get back on a Saturday night
And the room is caving in
Do you look like me? Do you feel like me?
Do you turn into your effigy?
Do you dance like this forever?
He then laughs with amusement at their reaction.
Once he slowly crawls through the ropes. He raises his arms then bows his head in a mocking manner towards the crowd before getting ready.
Their opponents... First, from Blackfish South Dakota. He weighs in at 550lbs... Dreadvan!
The music plays and instantly everyone in the arena the fans scream so hard they spit up blood after a few seconds. Eventually, Dreadvan's large frame makes it's way through the curtain. He does his best to antagonize the fans, but they scream harder still for the Dreadvan. He makes his way slowly towards the ring, his size makes it a long, drawn out process, but he makes it and waits.
His partner, he is from Philadelphia, PA. He weighs in at 223lbs and is the current reigning AXW Champion... Anthony Caffrey!
The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately begins to boo at the top of their lungs as the violins of the orchestra swell to cover the ever-familiar Fall Out Boy song. The man behind the music rises out of an opening in the floor, facing the entranceway rather than the ring. The technician's black and red tights read "Bow to the Emperor" on the back.
When the music hits the My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark/Light 'Em Up Beat, he holds his championship up over his head, so the world can get a view of the nameplate: Anthony Caffrey. The AXW Undisputed Champion has arrived. His entrance is also heralded by a stream of pyro shooting off behind him.
Caffrey turns to face his detractors and has his trademark sinister smile running across his face. The champion throws his championship over his shoulder and walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans screaming and jeering. He does not break eye contact with tonight's opponents as he walks with a laser focus, at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at his opponents. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if his opponent's ankles were a simple wishbone.
Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his all three men in the ring, handing his glasses and championship off to the timekeeper. He looks back at his opponent and gives him one more sinister smile. He's ready for what tonight has to bring.
[...DING!! DING!!...]
Both teams confer amongst themselves and decide that Dreadvan and Swann will start the match.
BB Gunn: A battle of the top of the XHF European Championship division! Come on!
They lock up and Dreadvan makes easy work of Swann, tossing him across the ring. Swann rolls backwards and manages to get to his feet before seeing a steam train sized Dreadvan running at him. He's flattened against the buckle as all of Van's 550lb frame smashes him against the buckles!
Derrick Donovan: Oh my God!
BB Gunn: I'm surprised we didn't see Swann squish through the buckles there like a potato getting mashed!
Van grabs Swann by the head and drags him up, laughing at him. He tosses Swann over to Draven who is trying to make the tag. He makes the tag and hops over the top of the rope, charging at Van, who throws a vicious clothesline. Draven ducks it, hitting the ropes and coming back with a clothesline of his own. The impact hurts Van but he doesn't move. The 300lb weight advantage is too much. Van laughs at Draven, but Draven rakes the eyes!! A few shots to the head and Van finally drops to one knee.
BB Gunn: Now that's how you deal with a weight advantage! Bring em down!
Draven lays a few shots in to the head of Dreadvan before turning to Anthony Caffrey. Caffrey makes the motion of a belt around his waist before making his trademark ankle snapping motion. Draven just hisses in return before turning around into a tree trunk sized arm of Dreadvan.
Derrick Donovan: He just hit him so hard he bounced off the canvas!
BB Gunn: Someone get him checked for a concussion!
Derrick Donovan: Can Vampires get concussion?
Van makes a cover on Draven.
[...ONE!...]
[...KICKOUT!...]
Van doesn't look happy, and looks across to Caffrey, who yells something about him bending the knee before he makes the tag. Van looks pissed and goes back to wailing on Draven some more. Draven fights back with a few shots of his own to release the monstrous grip from the Demon. Draven hits the ropes and takes Dreadvan down with a flying headscissors. A quick cover from Draven!
[...ONE!...]
[...KICKOUT!...]
Draven looks across at his buckle and Swann is looking a little more alive, yelling for the tag. Draven checks he's OK to compete before reluctantly making the tag. Swann climbs through the ropes and gets in Dreadvan's face about being the real King of Eur-
SMACK!!
Caffrey unleashes a slap with a hand the size of a phonebook to the side of Swann's head and we see his eyes roll. Swann has no chance to retaliate as he hits the deck again and Draven is looking pissed.
Derrick Donovan: You can't blame Draven. He didn't look happy about making the tag to Swann.
BB Gunn: Everything Brad Swann has put his hand to this match has turned to shit!
Derrick Donovan: He hasn't put his hand to a thing!
Van turns around and Caffrey is jawing with the crowd, so he takes the chance to slap the back of Caffrey, knocking him off the apron as the slap echoes around the arena! Caffrey looks furious as the Referee tells him he's the legal man in this match now! Eventually, Caffrey gets back into the ring and calls Dreadvan an "ungrateful fat fuck" before laying the boots to the European Champion. Swann can't defend himself and Draven is reaching for the tag. Caffrey notices and goads him before throwing Swann into the corner, allowing him to make the tag so he can "show Dreaddy how it's done in the big leagues!" Draven makes the tag and looks at the two relatively fresh men in front of him and sighs before charging the ring. Caffrey throws a line and again, Draven ducks. Three clotheslines and a dropkick from the Vampire and the Champion is reeling! Van goes to get through the ropes but Draven dropkicks him to the outside before he manages to get through. Caffrey makes another attempt on Draven and hits him with a double sledge to the back! He whips Draven across the ring but he must not have realised what was going on with the match as Draven never hits the ropes! He dives right over them onto the unsuspecting Dreadvan on the outside! Dreadvan hits the rail, putting a crease into it as the crowd give us the traditional "HOLY SHIT!!" chant. Caffrey comes out after Draven, but Draven slides back into the ring before he gets to him and stomps on Caffrey as he slides back into the ring! A quick cover from Draven again barely even gets a one count and Caffrey's shoulder is off the mat! Caffrey grabs the arm of Draven and tries to lock in an armbar, but Draven manages to wriggle free from it and makes the tag to a half conscious Swann! Swann takes a few seconds to work out what's going on before Caffrey is on him, dragging him into the ring. Draven looks on at Swann and drops off the apron, heading up the ramp!
Derrick Donovan: Draven has had enough!
BB Gunn: Wouldn't you be fed up? Swann didn't even show up for this!
Caffrey lays a beatdown on Swann and Swann is struggling to even defend himself at this point! Before we know it, Caffrey has the C.A.L locked in!! Swann isn't tapping out, but all of a sudden, Caffrey feels a slap on his back again and the Referee tells us that the tag was made! Caffrey yells in protest, but it's to no avail, the Demon is back in the ring and he's after the man who holds the title he still feels is his! A splash to Swann and a handful of his hair and before we know it, Swann gets hit with the carwreck!
[...ONE!...]
[...TWO!...]
[...THREE!...]
The winners of this match, Dreadvan and Anthony Caffrey!
Vincent Draven still stands at the top of the ramp, looking sick of Swann's shit. Dreadvan gives Caffrey a glare as he rolls out of the ring and walks up the ramp. The show ends with a shot of Caffrey and Draven staring off as Caffrey raises the title.
[...END FEED...]