Shadow Wars III Results

[vastrix]

The lights in the arena go out suddenly with various electric lamps being lit up around the arena. It’s not an all encompassing light, but one that allows for deep shadows to be cast around the arena. Pools of darkness form in the various corners of the arena where fans fear to tread without pulling out cell phones for light.



“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins playing as Esmeralda von Krauss walks out from the back to the entrance stage. She stands with a smile as the fans boo her, lighting up an Egyptian cigarette on her foot long holder. She begins to walk down toward the ring with a trail of smoke going behind her.



TOMMY ONIONS: Looks like the boss has something to say and is doing it herself rather than sending out Brian Hendricks.



JOSEPH GREER: I always wondered why hire Hendricks when she preferred to get her hands dirty herself.



TOMMY ONIONS: Maybe he provides another service?



JOSEPH GREER: I really doubt it. Maybe he does the work while Esmeralda is getting serviced.



Esmeralda von Krauss stops by the commentary table with a knowing smile. She clucks her tongue at the them with a microphone in hand.



ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: Listen to you too gossiping about my sex life like it a couple of clucking hens. You’re just jealous that I don’t call upon either of you to fill my rather voracious appetites.



JOSEPH GREER: I would never!



TOMMY ONIONS: Please?



Esmeralda chuckles, stepping up to the ring, and stepping through the ropes to the cheering of the fans...and Tommy Onions. She stands in the middle of the ring with her microphone in hand.



ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: It’s with a great sadness that I bring to you the final show of Riot Star Wrestling. Now, the future of the company is already set in stone as it goes into the twilight. More light will be shed upon things as the night goes on. Trust me when I say that you will never have thought that we would have gone the route that we did.



TOMMY ONIONS: What the fuck is she talking about? I still have a contract for after this show. What are we going to be doing?



JOSEPH GREER: She is saying that this will be revealed as the night goes on. We will still be working on some capacity.



ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: We have a wonderful show for you tonight, meine Freunde. Pequeno Dinosaurio takes on Mila Rader in a Winner Take All match for the Legacy and Anarchy championships. Marcus Anderson vies for the World title against Shane Mitchell in what will surely be a match of interest. Hank and Gabriel will fight to see who will be Head of Security...for the rest of the night. Though there might be some future bookings for the Head of Security if things pan out properly elsewhere.



TOMMY ONIONS: If things pan out elsewhere? What the fuck is she talking about?



JOSEPH GREER: If you don’t keep informed on events going on in the wider network, I can’t help you.



TOMMY ONIONS: What? Jesus H Christ, does everyone have to speak in riddles?



JOSEPH GREER: Let’s just head down to the ring where it looks like we are getting ready to start.



“Circus Apocalypse” by Vermillion Lies begins once again as Esmeralda von Krauss heads to the back.



TOMMY ONIONS: I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.



JOSEPH GREER: Disgusting.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring the challenger...Eoin O’Rourke!



The lights in the arena dim as the screens on the stage turn into static as heavy beats from “Whiskey and Ritalin” by Fair to Midland play in the arena. The lights stay the same until the drums start playing, and on the screens, Eoin O’Rourke name title appears as the lights turn into green, and orange he begins to walk onto the stage-



“From hand to heart and hands to head



These gritty teeth grind gears of infrared”



O’Rourke stands at the top of the ramp and looks at the crowd left and right before exhaling and marching his way down the ramp cracking his neck-



“He crash lands in dull white noise



All I hear is static in his voice”



-O’Rourke makes it to ringside and cracks his knuckles looking in the ring with his emerald green eyes and walks up the steel steps but wipes his boots before entering through the second rope with his arms stretched out-



“When those sweet red hands



Start their whirlwinds



And you’re the drain”



-In the ring O’Rourke again cracks his neck and walks around the ring before getting on a turnbuckle looking at the audiance-



“You’re imagining things; Your pretend machine



Has sticks in its every spoke



You’re inventing it all; From thin air and close calls



Welcome to the balancing act”



-On the turnbuckle O’Rourke puts his hands together and forms an O from them and raises his arms above his head and looks up at his shape and hops off the turnbuckle and wiggles his arms to get the blood pumping through them-



TOMMY ONIONS: Looks like Eoin is actually going to wrestle a match tonight. Surprised he didn’t try to do something to Joe Beb again.



JOSEPH GREER: Maybe Apathy is ready to take on Joe Beb tonight. Eoin certainly looks ready to take on Havok.



“Demonoid Phenomenon” by Rob Zombie suddenly hit as red lights begin to flash violently to the drum beat. The ramp starts to flood with smoke. A figure appears in the entrance way with his arms crossed. A series of fireworks go off along the top of the entrance ramp. The light adjusts back to normal. Eddie starts to walk down the ramp



BOB MOONEY:...introducing at this time; from Harlow, Essex, England…weighing in at one hundred and ninety-one pounds…the Havok!!!



Eddie slowly and methodically makes his way toward the ring, bathing in the reaction of the fans within the arena. Eddie enters the ring standing with his arms raised and fireworks go off from the four turnbuckles. Eddie walks over to the furthest turnbuckle and climbs up. He looks out across the crowd. As his music dies down, Eddie ditches his leather jacket and jumps down into the ring.





TOMMY ONIONS: It’s been awhile since Havok has been in the ring. I wonder if he still has it.



JOSEPH GREER: I have heard that Havok has been working out and getting ready for his eventual return to the ring. I’m sure that he’ll do fine tonight.



The bell rings to start the match as Eoin and Havok meet in the center of the ring. They stare each other down for a moment before they begin going at it with lefts and rights flying. Eoin stuns Havok with a right hook and sends him into the ropes. On the rebound, he hits a massive spear to take Havok down.



Both stand up quickly, Eoin going for a jab to the chest, but Havok catches the fist, and counters with a headbutt! He hits a double knee facebreaker, sending Eoin crashing to the mat. Havok jumps to his feet, followed quickly by Eoin. Havok sends Eoin into the ropes and runs the other way to the ropes himself. On the rebound, Havok hits a high cross body block that takes Eoin down into a pinfall attempt!



One





Two





Thr-Eoin kicks out!



Havok jumps to his feet, pulls Eoin up, and hits an overhead belly to belly suplex! He jumps back up again and begins stomping Eoin a few times before hitting a standing moonsault for the pinfall!



One





Tw-Eoin kicks out!



JOSEPH GREER: Havok certainly pouring on the offensive.



TOMMY ONIONS: He’s probably mad that he will never get another shot at the World title. I know I would be.



Havok climbs to the top rope and hits a split legged moonsault! He grabs Eoin by the hair and smashes the back of his head against the mat a few times before going back to the top rope!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know if this is a good idea.



TOMMY ONIONS: More bang for the buck. It’s a great idea.



Havok leaps from the top rope, hitting a frog splash! He hooks a leg for the cover.



One





Two





Thr-Eoin kicks out.



Havok gets Eoin up into a fireman’s carry, but Eoin drops behind Havok and applies a seated full nelson, cranking on the pressure. The ref checks to see if Havok will submit, but he shakes his head.



JOSEPH GREER: And just like that, things change in this match.



TOMMY ONIONS: Too right. It’s just like Havok to choke.



Eoin pulls Havok into a standing full nelson, converting the move into a full nelson bomb! He goes for the cover, but Havok kicks out before the ref can get into position.



Eoin pulls Havok up, putting him back to the mat with a running neckbreaker. Eoin stands up, roaring to the crowd as he displays his dominance! He grabs Havok and goes for the gutwrench power bomb, but Havok reverses this into a ddt! He rolls away from the lying Eoin to lay on his back for a moment.



JOSEPH GREER: That was a heck of a reversal.



TOMMY ONIONS: Havok acting on instinct alone to pull something like that off.



Havok climbs up to the top rope, lifting his arms high into the air for balance, and leaps through the air to hit a 450 splash! He hooks a leg for the pinfall!



One





Two





Three! NO! Eoin gets a foot on the ropes!



Havok gets Eoin up into a fireman’s carry, but again Eoin slips behind him, and hits a reverse neckbreaker! Eoin goes for the pinfall, placing one knee on Havok’s chest and one knee across Havok’s face.



One





Two





Thre-Havok kicks out!



Eoin stands up, pulling Havok to his feet. Havok lays into Eoin with a quick uppercut and gets Eoin into the fireman’s carry again! Eoin again slips out behind Havok, but this time, Havok reverses to slip behind Eoin! He hits a belly to back inverted mat slam and goes for the cover!



JOSEPH GREER: The Fall of Havok! This one could be all over!



TOMMY ONIONS: I’m surprised at this turn of events.



One





Two





Three!



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via pinfall...Havok!



JOSEPH GREER: Havok counted on Eoin to get out of the fireman’s carry that last time to set up his finisher. Brilliant work.



TOMMY ONIONS: You sure it wasn’t just desperation on Havok’s part?



JOSEPH GREER: No, I think he planned out what to do when Eoin countered him again.



Havok celebrates his win on his way to the back as Eoin sulks in the ring.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger...Ultimate Destroyer!



Air raid and police sirens begin going off as Ultimate Destroyer steps from out behind the curtain. He roars his mad rage at the booing crowd, looking the world as if he may be considering charging the crowd to destroy them all. Instead, he heads toward the ring and steps over the ropes. The referee rolls out of the ring as Ultimate Destroyer turns his gaze upon the much smaller man. Bob Mooney stands his ground as Ultimate Destroyer turns his rabid gaze upon him.



TOMMY ONIONS: There is something seriously wrong with Ultimate Destroyer.



JOSEPH GREER: I have to agree. He's insane! I don't even know if he should be allowed to be a wrestler.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent...Isaiah Zepp!



“Governed by Contagions” by At the Drive In begins playing as Isaiah Zepp walks out from the back to cheering from the fans. He waves to the fans before heading to the ring.



Bob Mooney rolls out of the ring before Ultimate Destroyer decides to charge him. He turns his murderous watchful eyes toward Isaiah Zepp, who calmly takes up a fighting stance. Zepp motions with one hand.



ISAIAH ZEPP: Toro! Toro!



Ultimate Destroyer snorts and stomps on the canvas like a bull getting ready to charge. He rushes at Isaiah, who side steps out of the way. Ultimate Destroyer rebounds off of the ropes and comes back faster than Zepp expects to slam him with a clothesline to the back of the neck that sends him crashing face first to the mat.



Ultimate Destroyer picks up Isaiah Zepp like a rag doll and tosses him into the corner. He charges full steam ahead, plowing into the corner like an atomic bomb with enough force to shift the entire ring about a foot.



TOMMY ONIONS: Jesus H Christ! That was some impact!



JOSEPH GREER: Zepp underestimated Ultimate Destroyer and is paying for it now.



Ultimate Destroyer takes a step back, grabs Zepp, and hurls him across the ring into the opposite corner. He backs up into the corner he had just pulled Zepp out of, rests for a moment, and then charges across the ring while roaring his hate.



Isaiah Zepp rolls out of the ring just in time as Ultimate Destroyer crashes into the corner, knocking the ring back a foot or so. Zepp rolls back into the ring, grabs Destroyer out of the corner, and hits a back suplex while bridging up for the pinfall!



One-Ultimate Destroyer kicks out!



Isaiah Zepp stands back up, being met by Destroyer, who takes a swing at him. Zepp ducks under the hamfist and brings the Destroyer down with a leg screw. He keeps hold of the foot and twists the ankle, but it only gets a roar of rage from the Destroyer.



Zepp releases the hold, stepping back away from Ultimate Destroyer as he stands up. Destroyer looks at Zepp with madness in his gaze as he reaches for Zepp, who ducks under the outstretched arms, slips behind Destroyer, and brings him down with a schoolboy roll!



One





Tw-Ultimate Destroyer kicks out!



Isaiah Zepp stands up, backing away as Ultimate Destroyer gets to his feet. Zepp ducks under a swing, striking with an uppercut of his own that doesn’t seem to faze the crazed Destroyer.



The Ultimate Destroyer grabs Isaiah by the back of the head and delivers a thunderous headbutt! Zepp staggers backward a few steps before a clothesline sends him to the mat!



Ultimate Destroyer pulls Isaiah up by the hair just a few feet off of the mat before sending him back face first to the mat. He follows this up with a stomp to the back of the head that breaks Isaiah’s nose and spurts blood onto the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: Ultimate Destroyer is like some kind of rabid dog! He needs to be put down!



JOSEPH GREER: I don't know about being out down, but he certainly needs to be put on a leash.



Ultimate Destroyer rips Isaiah Zepp off of the mat, blood splattering everywhere as he does so. He grabs Zepp by the throat and lifts him up into the air. He immediately drops Zepp when he gets kicked in the face.



A drop toe hold sends Destroyer to the mat. Isaiah applies a cross armed camel clutch! The Vermicide!



The ref checks to see if Destroyer will give up, but he only screams his rage at the world. It isn't long before he begins to weaken. Zepp keeps up the pressure and eventually the ref checks an arm. It drops.



The ref checks a second time. The arm drops.



He checks a third time. There is resistance as Destroyer tries to make a comeback, he lets out a scream of blind rage and stands up, tossing Isaiah to the side. He strikes Isaiah in the side of the head with an elbow, leveling him.



TOMMY ONIONS: That was one of Isaiah’s finishers! If it didn’t put that monster down, what will?



JOSEPH GREER: He has to just keep on trying I suppose. Something will bring the big man down. He hasn’t won a match yet.



Ultimate Destroyer lets out a scream of rage, palms Isaiah’s face, lifts him up, and slams him down like a choke slam. He lifts Isaiah’s head up and slams the back of his head back into the mat a few times before going for the pinfall.



One





Two





Thr-Isaiah Zepp gets a foot onto the ropes!



Ultimate Destroyer stands up, looking at the referee as if he’s going to eat him alive. The ref points out the foot on the ropes, quickly backing away from Destroyer.



Ultimate Destroyer picks Isaiah Zepp up and hurls him at the ropes like he were a rag doll. On the rebound, he goes for a big boot, but Zepp sidesteps. He climbs to the top rope behind Destroyer. When he turns around to look where he has gone, he leaps into the air for a vertical jump roundhouse kick to the face with enough impact to send the big man to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: The Tao of Now!



JOSEPH GREER: That’s my line!



Isaiah Zepp hits a quick leg drop and goes for the pinfall!



One





Two





Three!



Isaiah Zepp jumps to his feet to celebrate his win. He quickly rolls out of the ring when Ultimate Destroyer stands up and yells in his madness. The ref quickly rolls out of the ring to avoid him as well.



Ultimate Destroyer looks around the ring to see that he is alone, he yells in anger, and stomps his way to the back.



JOSEPH GREER: That man is going to kill someone someday.



TOMMY ONIONS: I certainly hope so. I have even odds on it.



JOSEPH GREER: You are repulsive.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger...Steve Murdock!



“Lunatic Fringe” by Red Rider begins playing as Steve Murdock begins walking out from the back with his beloved kendo stick on his shoulder. He rubs a hand over his bald head before heading down to the ring. Shawna Savate meets him in the ring and instructs him to put the kendo stick in the corner, which he does.



TOMMY ONIONS: This isn’t a no disqualification match. Why should he even be able to bring that to the ring in the first place?



JOSEPH GREER: I think it’s like his security blanket or something.



TOMMY ONIONS: Sounds like some excuse I would make up.



BOB MOONEY: And their opponent...Dexter Payne!



“Headstone” by Whiskey Myers begins playing, introducing Dexter Payne to the cheering crowd. He walks out from the back, his eyes on Steve Murdock as he makes his way down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Dexter Payne looks to be all business tonight.



JOSEPH GREER: It is his final match. Does he go back to jail after this?



TOMMY ONIONS: I'm sure he can find another job quick enough.



JOSEPH GREER: What does that mean?



TOMMY ONIONS: Just , you know, the other companies, the vultures, have been circling.



Dexter Payne rolls into the ring, asking for the microphone. He looks at Steve Murdock with a smile.



DEXTER PAYNE: You know you want to go ahead and use your toy. You go ahead. I have clearance to make this a hardcore match.



Steve Murdock looks like he has just been given a Christmas present. He grabs his kendo stick up as Dexter tosses the microphone to the side. Shawna looks uncertain, but nods at both men.



Steve crosses the ring and takes a swing with the kendo stick. Dexter dodges and takes aim with a pair of brass knuckles? Steve sidesteps the punch, spins around, and cracks Dexter in the side of the head with the kendo stick. He follows this up with a standing drop kick that staggers Dexter back a few steps to the ropes.



Steve rears back the kendo stick and charges at Dexter to hit a massive clothesline, but Dexter ducks under the blow. Steve nearly topples over the ropes with his momentum, Dexter grabs him by the legs, and dumps him over to the concrete floor below.



Dexter rolls out of the ring and drives the brass knuckles into the back of the head to send Steve back down to the mat. Steve bounces back up, grabbing Dexter around the waist, lifting him up, and hitting an inverted atomic drop that also slams the small of Dexter’s back against the ring apron.



JOSEPH GREER: They going all put in this match.



TOMMY ONIONS: Well, duh. It’s their final match here!



JOSEPH GREER: Shouldn’t Shawna be counting them out now?



TOMMY ONIONS: Hardcore match. It’s also a no count out.



Steve punches Dexter in the gut and whips him into the ring railing to further slam the small of the back against something unyielding. Steve picks up a steel chair, folds it, and swings it at Dexter, who dodges the incoming bludgeon for a fan to take the shot straight to the skull!



Steve pauses for a moment, caught between being angry at himself for missing and shock at striking the fan, who has dropped to the floor. Dexter takes advantage of the moment to shove Steve backwards to make some room between the two and superkicks the steel chair right into Steve’s face!



Dexter whips Steve down the aisle a ways and follows him to hit a spear to the back to knock Steve down and follow this up with mounted punches to the back of the head with the brass knuckles.



Steve manages to roll and get Dexter off of him. Both men stand up as Steve rubs the back of his bald head. His hand comes away wet with blood as he sneers and licks his hand. Dexter follows this up with a superman punch with the brass knuckles, knocking Steve down to the floor.



Amazingly, Steve Murdock stands back up. He spits out blood and the jagged part of a tooth. Dexter drops the brass knuckles, grabbing Steve up real quick, and bringing him down to the floor with a scoop powerslam! He goes for the pinfall right there, waiting for Shawna to leave the ring to come down and count.



One





Two





Thr-Steve kicks out!



Dexter kneels up with a sigh. He stands up, pulls Steve up, and whips him through the curtains at the entrance stage!



TOMMY ONIONS: This match could have been over if only Shawna had been nearby!



JOSEPH GREER: That's quite possible.



The RioTron lights up to show Steve Murdock and Dexter Payne in the room where the catering is. Steve grabs a bottle of malt vinegar from the table and smashes it against the side of Dexter’s head to stun him and blind him at the same time. A snap suplex sends Dexter through the table of piled goodies that include fish and chips.



Steve shoves a fish into Dexter’s mouth, smashing it into his face, pulls him up, and applies a sleeper hold!



TOMMY ONIONS: This could be it if Steve can put Dexter to sleep. Where's that ref to check on things?



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like she’s just getting into the room.



Shawna checks to make sure that Dexter doesn’t want to submit. He doesn’t. Dexter gets an elbow strike into Steve’s gut, loosening the hold. A second and third elbow strike breaks the hold. Dexter headbutts Steve and hits a neckbreaker, dropping the knock down upon his knee!



Dexter pulls Steve up into a side headlock and drops him down in a headlock driver into the remnants of the table!



JOSEPH GREER: Captive Bolt Drop!



TOMMY ONIONS: The ex-con on a roll!



Dexter goes for the pinfall!



One





Two





Thre-NO! Dexter pulls Steve up!



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know if that was the best idea. Dexter had this match finished!



TOMMY ONIONS: He just has to hit another finisher and this one is wrapped up. Maybe Murdock hasn’t suffered quite enough.



This seems to be the case as Dexter picks Steve up and pulls him into another side head lock.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like another Captive Bolt Drop coming right up!



TOMMY ONIONS: Brain damage here we come! Wait!



Steve picks Dexter up as if going to do an atomic drop, but instead takes a couple of steps, and drops him forward to hot shot Dexter across another table with enough impact to break it!



Steve pulls Dexter up by the bloody head and begins to drag him from the room.



TOMMY ONIONS: Where are they going?



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t know, but Shawna is just following along. You think this is a case of the “This is the last day so screw what the real rules are” kind of night?



TOMMY ONIONS: That’s quite possible. I know I don’t give a fuck about the rules.



JOSEPH GREER: You never did?



The scene changes to that of the boiler room where Steve Murdock and Dexter Payne walk in. Well, Dexter being dragged by Steve by the head anyway. He whips Dexter back first against the hot boiler. Dexter lets out a scream of pain as his back is burned. Steve reaches into a stashed bag of goodies as Dexter comes away from the boiler. Dexter walks right into a fireball that sends him reeling backwards while clutching at his face. Steve picks him up like for a powerslam and rushes against the boiler to slam Dexter against him once again!



TOMMY ONIONS: Damn! We’re going to get a cooked Dexter for this match!



JOSEPH GREER: Certainly seems like it. Can Dexter pull off a win while in Steve’s home territory?



Steve tosses Dexter backwards over his head to land on the concrete floor. He follows this up with an elbow drop that Dexter rolls out of the way from so that Steve smacks the floor hard. He clutches at the elbow, rolling around on the floor as Dexter lays next to him.



TOMMY ONIONS: That elbow strike hurt me. I bet the floor doesn’t feel good too.



JOSEPH GREER: I bet the floor is fine. Steve’s elbow on the other hand…



Dexter gets up to his feet, meeting the rising Steve with a kick to the gut. He grabs Steve by the head and slams the side of his face into the boiler! There is a sizzling sound to go with Steve’s scream of pain as his face is burned by the contact with the hot metal.



Dexter releases some of the pressure, backing Steve up from the boiler, when Steve turns the thing around. He applies a hammerlock and turns that into a ddt!



JOSEPH GREER: The M-Pact DDT against the concrete floor!



TOMMY ONIONS: Holy shit!



Steve goes right for the cover with Shawna nearby to count the pinfall!



One





Two





Three!



Steve Murdock kneels up, the side of his face red from being burned against the boiler. He stands up with his arms in the air.



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via pinfall...Steve Murdock!



TOMMY ONIONS: I didn’t think that he could do it tonight. I’m really surprised at the amount of carnage put out by Steve Murdock. You think he going to make the jump?



JOSEPH GREER: I have no idea if Steve will be joining us in the plan or not.



TOMMY ONIONS: Plan? What plan?



JOSEPH GREER: If I told you now, you would just blab it. You will have to wait until after the show.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first the challenger…”Lucky” Joe Beb!



“Big Dick” BY Little Big begins playing as Joe Beb dances out from the back. He has red and yellow wrestling trunks on with a hole cut in the front of them to allow for his elephantine penis to stick through. It’s covered by a sock on the end and ace bandaging covering the rest. He makes his way down to the ring as the fans cheer, laugh, and point.



TOMMY ONIONS: Joe has to be looking for some kind of vengeance for being attacked and then duct taped to a flag pole.



JOSEPH GREER: He doesn’t look angry right now. Maybe he let bygones be bygones?



TOMMY ONIONS: I know I wouldn’t. I would be reaping some payback.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent...Apathy!



“Vicious” by Halestorm begins playing as Apathy walks out from the back. She looks around at the booing fans with a wide smile before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: The last time that these two faced in the ring, Elizabeth bit Joe in a vital area that required stitches!



JOSEPH GREER: It still doesn’t beat what Caleb Koresh did to Joe later.



TOMMY ONIONS: I think what Elizabeth did was far more personal.



Joe Beb stands in the middle of the ring with his penis wrapped around his waist as Apathy steps into the ring. She protests to the ref about having to wrestle against Joe with his penis hanging out, but gets no sympathy from referee, Rob Hill.



As the bell rings to start the match, Apathy and Joe Beb close in on one another. Apathy slips into a fighting stance with her fists at the ready and Joe Beb mirrors the stance with his penis unfurling to be at the ready like a cobra getting ready to strike.



Apathy goes for a kick to the nuts right off the bat, but this is deflected by the penis. Joe grabs Apathy by the arm, bringing her down with a short arm clothesline. Apathy begins to pop back up, but is leveled once again, this time by the penis.



TOMMY ONIONS: You think the penis knows what Apathy did to it’s predecessor?



JOSEPH GREER: That would be crazy. The penis doesn’t have its own brain!



Apathy rolls away from Joe and to her feet, Joe reaches for her, but she deflects the penis and hits Joe in the jaw with a solid right hand that staggers the old timer. She brings Joe down with a Russian leg sweep! She stands up, grabbing at the flailing penis, holds it, and delivers a stunning elbow drop to it in a move that stuns the crowd. It certainly does Joe no favors as well as he sits up with his eyes bulging in pain. Apathy hops up and kicks Joe square in the chest to send him back to the mat.



Joe rolls over to get to his feet, but is pounced upon by Apathy, who applies a rear chin lock. She yanks back on his head, her hands quickly slipping down into a choke hold that Rob Hill spots and begins a five count. By the time that he reaches five, Apathy has broken the hold. She finishes the move off with a stomp right between the shoulder blades before backing away.



Joe Beb rises to his feet and spins around to catch a fist from Apathy. His penis sweeps the feet out from under her and he changes from just holding the fist into an armbar that he holds tight. Apathy does a quick flip and turns the move into an arm drag to send Joe Beb to the mat.



TOMMY ONIONS: That Apathy is rather squirrelly in the ring to keep out of Lucky’s grasp.



JOSEPH GREER: She certainly is something.



Joe Beb bounces to his feet, but is grabbed by Apathy, and sent back to the mat with a suplex. Apathy rolls onto Joe for the pinfall!



One





Two





Th-Joe Beb kicks out!



Apathy kneels up. She grabs Joe by the head to slam him back into the mat, but takes a penis shot to the side of the head in a blow that causes her to release him.



Joe Beb hops up and brings Apathy down with a penis leg sweep. She pops back up and is taken back down with a belly to belly suplex with an assist with the penis between the legs!



The crowd begins to boo as Eoin O’Rourke comes running down to ringside. He pounds on the ring apron to encourage Elizabeth to get back up. She does so, but Joe knocks her back down with a dick slap from Hell! Eoin pounds on the mat and yells at Rob Hill about the contact with Joe’s penis being illegal.



JOSEPH GREER: Is hitting someone with a mammoth penis illegal?



TOMMY ONIONS: I wouldn’t think so or else your ex-wife would have called the police on me many times.



JOSEPH GREER: You think so?



TOMMY ONIONS: I know so.



Joe drops an elbow onto the downed Apathy. He stands back up and looks to Eoin almost apologetically as his penis reaches down and cops a feel. Apathy rolls away, anger plain on her face. Eoin jumps up onto the ring apron in protest, causing Rob Hill to run over to try to get him to get down.



Apathy comes at Joe Beb, only for him to bring his penis up between her legs for a low blow. She grabs hold of the penis with her hands and kicks Joe right in the nuts, causing him to go cross eyed from the impact. With Rob Hill still trying to get Eoin down, Apathy aims a second kick to the balls. This time she releases the penis and Joe crumples to the mat with a squeak.



TOMMY ONIONS: That's gotta be Joe’s kyrptonite right there.



JOSEPH GREER: Every man's kryptonite?



TOMMY ONIONS: Oh right. I forgot.



Apathy pulls Joe up by the penis and into a front facelock! Before she can drop Joe in the ddt, his penis makes a beeline to try to go up her butt! The distraction is enough for Joe to break out of the hold and apply the crossface scissored armbar!



JOSEPH GREER: Joe Beb with the Golden Age Cage!



TOMMY ONIONS: This could be it! But wait!



Before Alathy can submit, Eoin O’Rourke rolls into the ring and kicks Joe. Rob Hill signals for the bell as the move is broken. Eoin and Apathy begin stomping away at Joe until Gabriel Tuck, Sticky, and several of the Clown security team come down to the ring. Eoin and Apathy roll out of the ring and head to the back.



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via disqualification...Joe Beb!



JOSEPH GREER: I can't believe that Eoin just had to jump into the match.



TOMMY ONIONS: You can't? They were willing to kidnap Joe. Why wouldn't he interfere in the match?



JOSEPH GREER: I suppose that's a valid point.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and is for who will be Head of Security for Riot Star Wrestling! Featuring first the challenger...Big Ass Hank!



“No More” by Disturbed playing as Big Ass Hank walks out from the back to the cheering from the crowd. He stands on the entrance stage with his arms crossed as he surveys the crowd as if singling out troublemakers before heading down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Hank is just a mass of muscle. I don’t know how Gabriel can compete with that.



JOSEPH GREER: Gabriel is an experienced wrestler. Hank hasn’t wrestled a match ever.



TOMMY ONIONS: Gabriel is an experienced brawler. He’s said before that he knows about a number of wrestling holds on one hand. Hank is also an experienced brawler. This is going to be a dirty street brawl.



JOSEPH GEER: You might have a point there. Still, Gabriel has turned his brawling talents into a World title at-



TOMMY ONIONS: We don’t mention that hillbilly company here.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent...Gabriel Tuck!



“Iron Wolf” by Beastwars begins playing as Gabriel Tuck steps out from the back with microphone in hand. He smiles as his music plays, slowly walking down the aisle to ringside. The crowd boo him every step of the way, but it doesn’t seem to faze him.



GABRIEL TUCK: You are looking at the Head of Security that will be remaining in position after this match. I won’t be losing to some two bit former security guard with a prosthetic tongue.



TOMMY ONIONS: Didn’t someone tell them that the Head of Security position only lasts for the rest of tonight?



JOSEPH GREER: I suppose not. That or Gabriel knows.



TOMMY ONIONS: Knows what?



JOSEPH GREER: That I can’t tell you.



Gabriel Tuck rolls into the ring and gets right into Hank’s face, well his chest.



GABRIEL TUCK: You ain’t going to be Head of Security when I get through with ya. You be a fucking hospital patient.



Hank cocks his head, looking down at Gabriel. He chuckles, pounding his chest with his right hand.



HANK: You and what army?



GABRIEL TUCK: Me and this army!



Gabriel busts Hank in the chops with a right hand, but it barely moves the big man’s head. Gabriel punches him again, this time drawing blood from Hank’s bottom lip. Still, Hank doesn’t act like he’s in the least amount of pain. He grabs Gabriel by the collar and throws him against the ropes, bringing down a clothesline on the rebound that sends Gabriel to the mat with authority.



Gabriel starts to get up, but Hank grabs him, and hurls him at the ropes again. A shoulder charge sends Gabriel back to the mat once again. This time, Hank stomps Gabriel, keeping him down until Gabriel rolls out of the ring to catch a breather.



TOMMY ONIONS: Hank really turning up the heat tonight.



JOSEPH GREER: He's been Head of Security for years before Gabriel just come and took over.



TOMMY ONIONS: It's D's fault for being out of control! And he ain't even here no more!



Gabriel rolls back in the ring across the ring from Hank, who charges him. Gabriel immediately sticks his head and shoulders out of the ring for Shawna to stop Hank's charge.



Gabriel comes back into the ring, only for Hank to charge again. Gabriel sticks his head out of the ring yet again for Shawna to stop the charge. As Hank protests to Shawna, Gabriel slips on a pair of brass knuckles that reads PIE. Gabriel slams the brass knucks against the side of Hank's head, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. He gets the brass knucks put back away before Shawna can figure out what happened.



TOMMY ONIONS: Brilliant! A pie to the face!



JOSEPH GREER: That was cowardly more than brilliant.



Hank starts to get back up, blood running down the side of his head where the PIE brass knuckles struck him. Gabriel meets him with a body slam and a series of stomps and kicks.



GABRIEL TUCK: What are you going to do, Hank? You're tired. You're old. You're a fucking dinosaur in this industry. I'm the future!



Big Ass Hank rises to his knees and catches a foot from Gabriel, who hops on one foot. Hank stands up while keeping hold of the foot, pulling Gabriel into a clothesline. Hank drops a knee to Gabriel's chest, going for the cover!



One





Two





Thr-Gabriel kicks out!





Hank kneels up, looking at the downed Gabriel. He pulls Gabriel up as he stands and hurls him into the ropes. On the rebound, Gabriel ducks under another clothesline, and slips behind Hank to hit a German suplex. He bridges up for the cover!



One





Tw-Hank kicks out!





Gabriel jumps up to his feet, pulls out his PIE brass knuckles. This time Shawna sees them and takes them away. When Gabriel gets in her face about it, she uses them to punch him in the side of the head to the delight of the crowd! Gabriel drops to his knees, blood trickling from the side of his head. He looks up to see Hank standing over him.



JOSEPH GREER: The Mid-West Eye Gouge! We haven't seen that move since Morcant Davis!



TOMMY ONIONS: It's a move that's certainly been used on Hank before.



Gabriel motions quickly that he gives up. Hank releases the move and raises his arms in victory. Security guards stream from the back, taking the place of clowns at ringside.



JOSEPH GREER: Finally! This place isn't that much of a dang circus!



TOMMY ONIONS: I have to agree with you there. There's only so much in the form of clowns that you can take.



Gabriel Tuck rolls out of the ring and heads to the back as Hank celebrates in the ring.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall! Featuring first, the challenger, hailing from Bloomington, Illinois...Raymond T Starr!



“Beyond Repair” by We Were Sharks begins playing as Raymond T Starr walks out from the back to the cheering of the fans. He makes his way down to the ring, slapping a few Fives as he does so. He rolls into the ring, climbing to the top rope to signal the cheering fans, and does a backflip to the center of the ring to their delight.



TOMMY ONIONS: A bit of a show off there. Isn’t he?



JOSEPH GREER: Oh, you would do it if you could.



TOMMY ONIONS: Did I say that I was not a show off? No. Of course I would if I could, but I can’t. So I won’t.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent, from Roswell, New Mexico...Martin Montana!



The theme from the X-Files begins playing as Martin Montana steps out from behind the curtain. He looks high and low cautiously before he begins to head down to the ring.



TOMMY ONIONS: Is he still looking for aliens to come and get him? How absurd.



JOSEPH GREER: It’s his phobia. You don’t see me making fun of your fear of-



TOMMY ONIONS: We don’t talk about that here!



JOSEPH GREER: Well then. Don’t make fun of other people’s weird fears.



As the bell begins to start the match, Raymond and Martin begins circling around one another while looking for an opening to strike. Raymond grins as he points upwards, keeping his eyes on Martin.



RAYMOND T STARR: Look! Bug looking aliens!



MARTIN MONTANA: Fuck! Those are the worst!



The moment that Martin looks up, Raymond kicks him in the gut, and snaps him up in a front face lock. Raymond continues through with the hold, transforming the lock into a suplex to send Martin to the mat. Raymond does a quick roll into a leg drop before standing up. Martin hops to his feet, drilling Raymond with a series of lefts and rights that send Raymond back to the corner. Martin grabs Raymond, plants his feet onto the second turnbuckle, and does an overhead belly to belly suplex out of the corner.



Martin hops back up to the top turnbuckle, waits for Raymond to rise to his feet, and goes for the missile drop kick that Raymond side steps, grabs him, and brings him down with a back breaker!



TOMMY ONIONS: There was a lot of momentum with that backbreaker. Wow!



JOSEPH GREER: It seems to be a bit early to be going off of the top rope anyway.



That being said, Raymond climbs to the top rope, leaping backwards into the air before he even gets to the top to corkscrew into a clothesline that takes Martin down to the mat. Raymond goes for the cover, pushing Martin’s head to the side.



One





Tw-Martin kicks out!



Raymond gets Martin up, going for the Northern Lights Suplex. Martin reverses it into a DDT! Martin rests for a moment, applying a rear chin lock. He cranks on the pressure. The referee checks to see if Raymond will submit, but he refuses and grabs the ropes to get the hold broken.



Martin stands up, pulls up Raymond, and whips him at the ropes. He hits a cross body on the rebound, hooking the leg for the pinfall!



One





Two





Thr-Raymond kicks out!



Martin stands up and the lights flicker, but not going off all the way. Martin looks nervously to the ceiling.



TOMMY ONIONS: What's that nut doing?



JOSEPH GREER: Perhaps he thinks the brown out has something to do with aliens instead of just being typical LA.



Raymond gets to his feet, taking advantage of the distraction with a suplex. He goes to the top rope, hitting a leg drop! he goes for the cover!



One





Two





Thr-Martin kicks out!



This time, Raymond goes for a standing moonsault, but Martin gets his knees up to catch him! Martin turns Raymond to the side and gets to his feet. He pulls Raymond up into a side headlock that he quickly pulls into a bulldog!



Martin rolls Raymond over for the pinfall!



One





Two





Thre-Raymond kicks out!



Martin kneels up, looking to the ref and slapping his hand three times. The ref just looks at him and holds up two fingers.



JOSEPH GREER: Looks like Martin is disagreeing with how fast the count was. Like it should have been faster.



TOMMY ONIONS: I think it should have been faster so we can get to the next match!



JOSEPH GREER: Rude.



Martin pulls Raymond up and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, Raymond ducks a clothesline. He pumps the brakes, reaches back, and hits a reverse neckbreaker!



Raymond goes to the top rope, leaping as Martin rises, and brings him down with a ddt! Raymond goes for the pinfall!



One





Two





Thre-No! Martin kicks out!



This time it's Raymond who slaps the mat in frustration. The ref is sure to tell him it was only a two count. Martin rolls to the outside of the ring to catch a breather as he leans against the ring railing. This doesn't stop Raymond as he runs across the ring and leaps over the ropes in a suicide dive!



A dive that fails miserably as Martin moves out of the way and Raymond connects with the ring railing instead. Martin grabs him and flings him back first against the ring apron.



Martin rolls Raymond into the ring and climbs to the top rope. The lights dim, changing to a series of colored lights that seem to dance around the ceiling. This time Martin seems to wave them off before leaping into the air.



There's a flash of bright light and the lights go back to normal. Martin never lands on his opponent…



JOSEPH GREER: Where is he? Where did he go?



TOMMY ONIONS: I think the aliens got him!



JOSEPH GREER: Noooo. He was just in the ring!



Raymond sits up and looks around in confusion. The ref looks around and begins to count Martin out.



One





Two





Three





Four





Five





Six





Seven





Eight





Nine





Ten!





The ref just shrugs his shoulders at Raymond and signals for the bell. He raises the arm of a very confused Raymond T Starr in victory.



BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match via count out...Raymond T Starr!



TOMMY ONIONS: Martin said that they would come for him again, but we didn't believe him. Now look at him.



JOSEPH GREER: He isn't here?



TOMMY ONIONS: Exactly! Taken by aliens!



JOSEPH GREER: Oh good grief.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next match is scheduled for one fall and it a Winner Take All match for the RSW Legacy and Anarchy titles! Featuring first the challenger from Mexico City, Mexico...Pequeno Dinosaurio!



BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA LACKA BOOM!

BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA LACKA BOOM BOOM!!



’Walk the Dinosaur’ by Was (not was) starts to play, fans, especially the younger ones, begin clapping along to the silly, but infectious beat of the song.



Practically slithering through the curtain, Pequeño Dinosaurio is welcomed to a modest cheer for the brightly coloured rookie técnico!



Dark green scaled scaled boots lead to a slight fade as his tights approach his waist.





JOSEPH GREER: I wonder if Pequeno will take the two belts with him to GCW as trophies?





TOMMY ONIONS: Dino guy can do it. I think. If Mila doesn’t kill him like she may have done that guy in her locker room.



JOSEPH GREER: I don’t think that Mila killed anyone.



BOB MOONEY: And his opponent, from Sacramento, California. She is the Anarchy and Legacy champions...Mila Rader!



“Bubble, Pop, Electric” by Gwen Stefani begins playing as Mila Rader walks out from the back with a title belt on either shoulder. She looks around at the cheering crowd a moment before heading down to the ring. She hands the belts to Shawna Savate and leans in her corner.



TOMMY ONIONS: She’s looking a little upset. Oh gawd, you think she really killed that guy in her private bathroom? She reminds me of someone…



JOSEPH GREER: Really? She seems like Mila Rader to me.



TOMMY ONIONS: I don’t know. Let me do something.



Tommy starts playing with a lap top. He opens up Google Image Search and Photoshop…



JOSEPH GREER: Alright. Tommy has clearly lost it.



Shawna displays both of the titles before handing them off to ringside and signaling for the bell to be rung. Pequeno and Mila begin the match by closing the distance between them. Mila reaches out to Pequeno, a curious look on her face as she strokes the side of his ace with two fingers. Pequeno cocks his head, obviously confused.



JOSEPH GREER: What the heck is going on?



TOMMY ONIONS: Obviously, she’s determining how many cuts to get to the center of a Dino Guy.



Pequeno starts the match by knocking Mila’s hand away and hitting several European uppercuts. He whips the stunned Mila into the ropes and comes back on the rebound with a cross body clothesline that sends Mila hard to the mat!



Mila rolls to her feet, avoiding a lightning quick standing moonsault. Pequeno hops back to the air, landing a drop kick that sends Mila backwards into the corner.



Pequeno charges in with a handspring elbow, but Mila uses the top rope as leverage to get both feet into the air to catch the back of Pequeno’s head! She hops up into a seated position on the top turnbuckle, leaping through the air as Pequeno hops up to nail a knee strike to the temple that sends the luchador down like a sack of potatoes.



Mila gets Pequeno up and goes for a cutter, but Pequeno grabs hold of her from behind instead and hits an atomic drop. He follows this up with a quick running bulldog.



Pequeno hops back up, hops to the top rope in a single bound, and sails through the air for a legdrop that he misses as Mila rolls out of the way. Pequeno twitches in pain from landing on the mat. Mila stands up, looking around at the crowd for a moment before pulling Pequeno up into a front face lock that she quickly converts into a snap suplex!



Mila goes for the cover, hooking a leg.



One





Two





Th-Pequeno kicks out!



TOMMY ONIONS: Hang on. I'm on to something. Just a few more minutes. You know I have an app that will strip a woman to what it thinks she might look like naked?



JOSEPH GREER: You got sidetracked.



TOMMY ONIONS: I did, but I'm working on it now.



Mila gets to her feet, waiting for Pequeno to get up. She goes for the Milacanrana, nailing it to send Pequeno back to the mat. Mila climbs to the top rope with her hands in the air for balance before she leaps into the sky for the MilaSault!



It's a move that impacts Pequeno's knees instead as he gets up his defenses at the last second. He rolls to the side to dump the shattered Mila Rader to the side so he can slowly get to his feet. He kicks Mila in the spine as she sits up, causing her agony.



Pequeno gets Mila up, going for the belly to back suplex, but is brought forward by a snapmare into an elbow to the back of the neck.



Pequeno staggers forward a few steps, but throws himself backward to slam an elbow into the side of Mila's head to stun her. A drop toe hold sends Mila to the mat. Mila rolls through it to get back to her feet, but is taken down by a Japanese arm drag.



Mila tries to bounce back to her feet, but a standing moonsault leg drop to the back of the neck sends her back to the mat. Pequeno goes for the pinfall real quicklike.



One





Two





Thr-Mila kicks out!





TOMMY ONIONS: Looks like Dino Guy will be taking those titles back to GCW with him.



JOSEPH GREER: I think the match is a bit closer than that, but Pequeno is looking strong out there. Have you finished, whatever it is that you're doing?



TOMMY ONIONS: Not yet. Gotta get a good copy of the mask. I think I found one without the dang watermark.



JOSEPH GREER: Alrighty then.



Pequeno goes to the top rope, balancing himself up on there. He leaps off of the top rope for the Five Star Pterodactyl Splash, but Mila rolls out of the way! Both Mila and Pequeno lay on the mat to try gather themselves up.



TOMMY ONIONS: I have it!



JOSEPH GREER: You have what?



TOMMY ONIONS: Mila Rader and Ruby Walsh are the same person? Here.



Tommy displays a pic of Mila Rader with a baby doll mask superimposed upon her next to a pic of Ruby Walsh herself. They do look the same.



JOSEPH GREER: You have done some detective work there, Tommy. I guess they are the same person! But, why? Why come out as Mila?



TOMMY ONIONS: I don't know that Mila knows that she's Ruby. It certainly explains the dead body in the bathroom.



JOSEPH GREER: I suppose that it does explain the body.



Inside the ring (yeah there's still a match going on), the ref has begun to count out both Mila and Pequeno as neither have gotten up.



One





Two





Three





Four





Five





Six





Pequeno Dinosaurio rises to his feet.



Seven





Eight





Mila Rader is up.



Pequeno drills Mila with a drop kick, going to the top rope, and flies off for a Five Star Pterodactyl Splash! Mila rolls out of the way and to her feet, leaving Pequeno to crash to the mat! Mila goes to the top rope, hitting a MilaSault, and hooking the leg for the cover!



One





Two





Three!





Mila stands up with her arms in the air, a happy smile on her face.



TOMMY ONIONS: All that and she doesn't know that she's my murderous maiden! What a gal!



JOSEPH GREER: Pity we won't get to find out more about this mystery after tonight.



TOMMY ONIONS: Unless!



JOSEPH GREER: Unless what?



TOMMY ONIONS: Unless she takes those titles to GCW!



BOB MOONEY: The winner and STILL Anarchy and Legacy champions...Mila Rader!



Mila Rader heads to the back while Pequeno Dinosaurio starts to stir in the ring.

[vastrix]

BOB MOONEY: This next contest is the main event of the evening and is scheduled for one fall! It is for the RSW World Heavyweight Championship! Featuring first the challenger...Marcus Anderson!

“Loser Like Me” by Pink begins playing as Marcus Anderson steps out from the back to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He shrugs, making his way down to the ring.

TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus has made short work of his last two opponents. You think he can make short work of Shane Mitchell?

JOSEPH GREER: I think he’ll be in for a rude awakening if he really thinks that.

BOB MOONEY: And his opponent...the RSW World Heavyweight Champion...Shane Mitchell!

“Fool’s Gold” by the Stone Roses begins playing as Shane Mitchell walks out from the curtain and onto the entrance stage. He stands, maybe a little stunned, as the crowd cheers him on. He makes his way down to the ring with the World championship belt around his waist. Once in the ring, he hands belt to Shawna Savate for display before being handed off to the timekeeper at ringside.

TOMMY ONIONS: I think that Shane Mitchell is going to wind up as the last World champion of RSW.

JOSEPH GREER: That’s likely a good prediction.

TOMMY ONIONS: Good, cause I bet on Marcus for the win. The odds against Marcus winning are too great to pass up.

JOSEPH GREER: I think you threw away your money.

TOMMY ONIONS: That might have been. Gabriel was going to help me help Marcus to win, but well, you know what happened with Gabriel. He left the arena not long after losing his match.

As the bell rings to start the match, Marcus rushes across the ring to exchange punches with Shane!

It's quickly decided who the more experienced brawler is as Shane takes the advantage. He whips Marcus into the ropes and lays him out with a big boot on the rebound.

Shane drills Marcus with a couple of stomps before allowing him to stand up. He slams Marcus to the mat with a bodyslam and stomps him again. Marcus rolls out of the ring to catch a breather, looking distraught.

TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus looks like he was expecting maybe a different result here?

JOSEPH GREER: It would seem so. Marcus must have expected to just have a one sided match like his last two matches. Not against the champion. Not against the champion.

Marcus rolls back into the ring, this time coming at Shane with a different tactic. He looks to be wanting to hook up. A collar elbow tie up later and Marcus is sent to the ropes and clotheslined on the rebound.

Marcus lays on the mat a little long, slapping it in frustration. Shane just smiles, waiting for him to get to his feet. Once Marcus is up, Shane is on him like white on rice, pounding him with a double axe handle over and over again to send him back down to the mat. Marcus once again rolls out of the ring to the boos of the fans.

JOSEPH GREER: Shane is showing why he's been dominant as World champion.

TOMMY ONIONS: You don't have to remind me that I pissed my money away. I know that.

Shane begins to pull Marcus up, only to be pulled down into a jawbreaker! Marcus lays into the stunned Shane with lefts and rights before sending the champion to the mat with a drop kick!

Marcus is on Shane with a quick knee drop, sliding his knee over to choke Shane while apparently doing a cover. Shawna isn't fooled, informing Shane that he needed to break the choke hold. Marcus doesn't release and forcing Shawna to count.

One



Two



Three



Four



Five! Marcus stands up to release the choke. He doesn't relent on the pressure though as he goes for a lightning fast standing moonsault that hits nothing but mat as Shane rolls out of the way! Shane stands up as Marcus twitches on the mat and grasps at his back.

Shane pulls Marcus up, sending him at the ropes, and meets him on the rebound with a running knee to the gut that sends Marcus back to the mat. He rolls out of the ring again, slapping the ring apron as he looks inside the ring at the champion.

TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus starting to look pissed off that he isn't getting a free ride here.

JOSEPH GREER: I don't know why he would have expected to be able to just walk into the ring tonight and just become champion.

This time, Shane Mitchell rolls out of the ring after Marcus. Grabbing him and whipping him head first into the ring steps, demolishing them. He follows, grabbing Marcus, and smashing his head into the demolished steps. A suplex onto the concrete later and Shane rolls back into the ring to leave the shattered challenger laying on the floor.

Marcus stands up, blood staining his blonde hair and dripping down his face. He wipes blood away from his face and looks determinedly into the ring before rolling back in.

He is quickly grabbed in a front face lock and dropped into a ddt. Shane goes for the cover.

One



Two



Th-Marcus kicks out!

Shane pulls Marcus up, starting to wrap things up by hooking one arm for the double underhook ddt. Marcus instead lunges forward to slam his knee into Shane's gut, reaching around, and-

TOMMY ONIONS: Surprise finger in the butt! Shades of his father right there!

JOSEPH GREER: What would posses someone to do that!

TOMMY ONIONS: It got Shane to release Marcus, didn't it?

Shane does release Marcus in disgust, who takes advantage of the space between the two to bring Shane to the mat with a double leg take down. He works the right leg of Shane with a spinning toe hold, dropping an elbow to the inside of his knee.

Marcus stands up, only to drop forward into a fist drop/uppercut that slams into Shane's jaw.

He quickly goes for the cover.

One



Tw-Shane kicks out!

Marcus stands up, grabs Shane, and whips him into the ropes. He hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the rebound. He grabs that right leg again, pulling it up, and kicks him straight in the back of the knee. He applies a figure four leglock! As Shawna goes to check to see if Shane will submit, Marcus grabs the ropes for that extra bit of leverage to the booing of the fans!

JOSEPH GREER: What is Marcus doing cheating?

TOMMY ONIONS: Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat, and don't get caught!

Shawna's no dummy, seeing the increase in pain level in Shane. She looks to Marcus, who releases the ropes as to not be seen. Shawna turns her attention back to Shane and Marcus grabs the ropes again!

Shawna looks back to Marcus again, nearly catching him in the act. She questions him, seeing as how the bottom rope is shaking from when Marcus last released it. Marcus shakes his head no.

When Shawna goes back to see if Shane will submit, Marcus once again grabs the ropes. This time Shawna catches him and kicks Marcus' hands from the ropes and demand that he break the hold! She begins to count when Marcus refuses.

One



Two



Three



Four



Fi-Marcus breaks the hold. He jumps to his feet and stomps on Shane's right knee, twisting his heel as he impacts Shane's leg.

Marcus grabs Shane by the legs, dragging him to the corner, and rolling out of the ring. He slams the side of Shane's right knee against the ring post!

TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus is being bright about things. Kind hard to hit a double underhook ddt if you can't stand up.

JOSEPH GREER: Still, these moves that Marcus is pulling off is so unlike him.

TOMMY ONIONS: He is his father's child after all.

Marcus pulls Shane into the corner, racking him, and then applying a cornerpost figure four!

Shane lets out a scream of pain as Shawna rolls out of the ring to yell at Marcus to break the hold.

MARCUS ANDERSON: I get five!

Shawna blinks, but begins counting.

One



Two



Three



Four



Fiv-Marcus breaks the hold.

Both Marcus and Shawna roll back into the ring.

Shane stands up to meet him, though he limps heavily with his right leg.

Marcus goes for a punch, but Shane blocks it, and counters with one of his own. He grabs Marcus by the shoulders and brings up his right knee into Marcus' gut to double him over. He brings Marcus up for a suplex, dropping backwards extra fast as the right leg gives out from underneath him.

Shane pulls Marcus up by the hair and slams the back of his head against the mat before going for the pinfall!

One



Two



Thr-Marcus kicks out!

Shane stands up, begins to pull Marcus up, but is drilled for a quick uppercut that sends Shane to the mat with blood spurting from his nose! Marcus pockets a pair of brass knuckles before Shawna can see what he did.

JOSEPH GREER: What the heck? How low is Marcus willing to sink to win this match?

TOMMY ONIONS: That low at the very least.

Marcus pulls Shane up into a bear hug that he holds for a moment before switching over into a belly to belly brainbuster for his Anaconda Death Grip move!

Marcus gets back to his feet, stomping the right knee of Shane and twisting up his leg in a knee destroyer. He ties up Shane in a single leg Boston crab, targeting that right knee. Shawna checks to see if Shane will submit, but he refuses. Marcus leans back to keep the pressure applied.

TOMMY ONIONS: Marcus keeps this up and Shane won't be walking anywhere.

After a few minutes of holding the move, Marcus releases it and pulls Shane up. He goes for a suplex, but Shane reverses it into a fisherman brainbuster! He stands up, but favors that right knee as he does so. This gives Marcus the time he needs to stand up. Shane grabs him and delivers a thunderous headbutt that staggers Marcus backwards a few steps.

Shane goes for the sleeper hold, but Marcus turns it into a snap mare and does a rear chin lock with a knee to the back that he quickly changes to a choke hold. Shawna goes to check to see if Shane will submit and sees the choke hold right away. She begins counting Marcus out.

One



Two



Three



Four



Fiv-Marcus releases the hold.

JOSEPH GREER: Are you sure this is shades of the father or influence from Parsons?

TOMMY ONIONS: It could be both?

While Shane is sitting up, Marcus drills him with a knee to the back of the neck. He steps around Shane and kicks him in the side of the right knee! Shane's eyes bug out from the impact and Marcus laughs for a moment before grabbing Shane to apply a figure four leglock.

This time, Shane gets a foot against Marcus' butt, and kicks him away into the corner. Marcus slams his shoulder against the ring post! Shane stands up, waits for Marcus to pull himself free, and grabs him for a double underhook ddt!

JOSEPH GREER: Shane with the Sudden Death! Is this all over?

TOMMY ONIONS: I think so!

Shane goes for the cover.

One



Two



Three!

BOB MOONEY: Winner of the match and STILL RSW World Heavyweight Champion...Shane Mitchell!

Shane Mitchell stands up as he is handed the World championship belt by Shawna Savante that he holds overhead with pride.

JOSEPH GREER: There you have it folks! Shane Mitchell is the final RSW World Champion! As we head into the unknown as a company…Hopefully, we will see you all again.

TOMMY ONIONS: How will we see them all again? The company is closing!

JOSEPH GREER: I can't tell you that yet!

TOMMY ONIONS: When then?! What do you know Greer!?

JOSEPH GREER: Well, have a great night, everyone!

TOMMY ONIONS: This is bullshit…

JOSEPH GREER: Those are probably the best parting words we could ever get from you, so on that note…

The RSW logo fades in to end the show as Mitchell celebrates his victory walking to the back.

JOSEPH GREER: …from Los Angeles, California this has been RSW’s Shadow Wars! Quite possibly the final Riot Star Wrestling show ever! On behalf of the staff, backstage crew and, of course, the wrestlers…I’m Joseph Greer and it is and was my pleasure to be a part of the last almost five years….

As Mitchell reaches the curtain ‘Circus Apocalypse’ by Vermilion Lies begins to play heralding the arrival of acting RSW CEO Esmeralda Von Krauss and sending the crowd into a renewed frenzy of boos.

Stepping through the curtain, Esmeralda eyes ‘her champion’ head to toe as they pass each other, licking her lips before walking past the formerly MIA World Heavyweight Champion.

JOSEPH GREER: Wait! Maybe we have some more PPV time?! RSW’s acting CEO is coming to the ring…

Ignoring the fans as usual, Esmeralda swings her hips as she walks the entrance aisle seeming to almost take joy in the final moments of RSW.

TOMMY ONIONS: She’s here to tell us she’s found a buyer! We’re saved! I knew it!

Her heels clicking on the steel of the ring steps and a trail of smoke flowing from her Egyptian cigarette, Esmeralda Von Krauss enters the ring…walking around the ring looking around the arena, she has the look of a predatory animal about to finish its prey!

Claiming center ring as Marcus Anderson is escorted from the ring, Esmeralda motions her Bob Mooney.

Instead of simply taking the microphone, she makes the long time ring announcer become her impromptu microphone stand.

ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: As I look around this arena Dahlings, I find myself filled with a sense of…

Surveying the RSW faithful, Esmeralda Von Krauss smirks through the boos, hisses and threats from the fans.

JOSEPH GREER: It has been an amazing five years Tommy.

TOMMY ONIONS: Mostly…I’m just amazed they never replaced you.

Circling around to take it all in, she suddenly appears disgusted.

ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: …disappointment.

Overtaking her words, the crowd drowns out anything else the CEO may have had to say, forcing her to wait until the boos subside.

TOMMY ONIONS: And here it comes! The last thing done before the company closes is to fire your ass!

JOSEPH GREER: I highly doubt…

This time it is Greer who is cut off as an unseen voice takes over the arena’s PA system.

?: Esmeralda, Esmeralda…Esmeralda…

A vaguely familiar voice rings through the arena, a male’s voice carrying a German accent actually draws a cheer from the crowd as the curtain to back stage begins leaking smoke into the stage.

JOSEPH GREER: It couldn’t be?!

Stepping through the curtain, the RSW crowd cannot believe it’s eyes…

TOMMY ONIONS: Couldn’t be who?!

JOSEPH GREER: It is! It’s the true owner of RSW…AND Esmeralda’s husband, Armand Von Krauss!

TOMMY ONIONS: He doesn’t look happy at all…

Pacing the stage, Tommy’s assessment is an understatement at best as the perpetual scowl upon his face is instantly translated

JOSEPH GREER: How could he? He has to know his wife has been running things horribly in his absence and then there’s her <cough> indiscretions…

TOMMY ONIONS: You’d know Greer…

Leaving a moment for what may be the final reference to Joseph Greer’s ex-wife, Tommy finishes.

TOMMY ONIONS: And not to mention the at least three or four people she’s fucked while he was in jail!

JOSEPH GREER: I was trying to be delicate…

TOMMY ONIONS: Bad idea, I hear she likes it rough.

Standing atop the stage, Armand is much as he is remembered, if not for a slightly overgrown haircut and a five o’clock shadow. His blue suit designed to draw attention to his harrowing gaze.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Esmeralda…my darling Esmeralda. How good it is to see you my dear…

Shock is quickly transformed into a feigned happiness at the sight of her, now free, husband.

ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: My one and only! Armand, you have returned to me! Just in time to watch me destroy this place!

The ferocity of the malice directed at Esmeralda is such force that even Armand must acknowledge it.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: One And only? Even these people see through you. They know your lies my dear. As do I.

Boos fade to cheers as Armand is clearly not impressed with his wife’s various extramarital activities.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: So, now that you have destroyed this place, as you destroy most everything you touch…now I may end this experiment…

ESMERALDA VON KRAUSS: I know nothing of what of speak, I have been nothing…

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: You have been nothing my darling. I wholeheartedly agree.

Cutting her microphone, Armand is cold and heartless.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: So, with my return…I am once again…the principle owner…and I have three very important announcements…

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: The first…Riot Star Wrestling will no longer operate.

The crowd boos, but awaits the next announcement.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: Next…I…

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: …Want a divorce…security…remove that woman from my ring!!

A veritable sea of security begins filing to the ring from the back as the crowd cheers and begins singing “Na Na Na Na…na na na na…hey hey hey…good…bye!”

As his wife for the time being is pulled away from the ring and past him, he adds.

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: And lastly…I promise no salvation for this cesspool, no hope for this sorry lot…however, I have found a buyer for RSW…

The crowd cheers, they were saved!

ARMAND VON KRAUSS: …the only buyer who made an offer, and an anonymous The new owner of Riot Star Wrestling…

The RioTron goes black and only three letters appear is gleaming white…HSE.

Spreading out, the abbreviation is fleshed out to reveal; ‘Histrionic Sports Entertainment.’

JOSEPH GREER: We’re saved! A company has bought us!

TOMMY ONIONS: Thank god! I wasn’t looking forward to going back to porn…

JOSEPH GREER: You did porn? Of course you did…

TOMMY ONIONS: I was a director and producer thank you very much!

JOSEPH GREER: You made porn…

TOMMY ONIONS: I made art!

The familiar voice of, the one and only Kid Rock echoes through the arena as a melodic guitar signals the only person who would have ‘saved’ the company.

“Guess who’s back?”

The crowd erupts once more into a mixed pot of cheers and boos as ‘Cocky’ by Kid Rock starts pumping it’s ‘rock rap’ melody throughout the arena.

BOB MOONEY: Introducing the NEW owner of Riot Star Wrestling…Chris Parsons!

Stepping out upon the stage, and walking right up to Armand, the German offers a handshake, which Parsons feigns to accept before simply taking the microphone from Von Krauss.

CHRIS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you and fuck you!

Directing his greeting at Armand, Parsons’ crass nature gets a cheer from the crowd.

CHRIS PARSONS: That’s right! Army found the only buyer that would take this place off his hands…me! I once again own RSW…

And as the new owner, I would like to personally invite each and every member of the Riot Star Wrestling Roster to join me at the View in Atlanta for the third episode of GCW Onslaught!

Cheers fill the arena as RSW’s demise is, at the very least, postponed.

CHRIS PARSONS: I’ll not be saying a word until then. Not one fucking word! I’ll see any of you who still want a job…in Atlanta…chow mein shit stains.

JOSEPH GREER: What a development! We have indeed been bought…RSW is now once again owned by Chris Parsons! We have no new info other than that any of us wishing to have a job should head to Atlanta for Onslaught 3!

TOMMY ONIONS: Do you think I’ll fit in with the new commentator?

JOSEPH GREER: How do you know they won’t keep us both?

TOMMY ONIONS: Because only one of us is golden event to event…

BOTH: Me!

JOSEPH GREER: Well, here we go folks…Riot Star Wrestling has ended…well, maybe…I for one will see you in Atlanta for Onslaught 3!

TOMMY ONIONS: I’ll be in Hotlanta in a couple weeks just to see you fired!

JOSEPH GREER: Thank you for an amazing five years and here’s to the next chapter and whatever Parsons has up his sleeve.

[fowler]

Damn that dastardly Parsons!

[robriot]

A fitting final champion...and perhaps the promise of a new dawn. Will anyone make the move across? If so...see you all in Atlanta!