Master Classhole [Subject #2 EOD]
Oct 21, 2019 22:15:12 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Oct 21, 2019 22:15:12 GMT -5
We join an interview already in progress. It seems to be wrapping up.
ANTHONY CAFFREY
So one more time, live on Anonymous TV on October 25th, you go support your fellow Philadelphian, Anthony Caffrey, as he defends his AXW Undisputed Championship. It’s going to be the Last Chapter of AXW vs. The Historical Footnote vs. The Guy Who Couldn’t Make A Page, Caffrey vs. Arnold vs. Draven, winner gets an X-Crown shot. I won’t let you all down.
The scene opens up on the Philadelphia radio studio for 94 WIP’s morning radio show with Angelo Cataldi. The champion is dressed in a Joel Embiid jersey as he promotes Lay Rest To The Wicked and does his best to repress the latest Eagles loss.
CAFFREY
And we are gonna be [bleep]ing bonkers at the Linc in May. Count on it.
Everyone in the studio lets out a hearty cheer. Caffrey smiles a genuine smile as he begins to gather his things.
ANGELO CATALDI
Now before we let you hop on that plane back to London you talked about, those of us in the studio wanted to get your opinion about the X-Crown match at the End of Days finale. You’re one of the few active wrestlers in the XHF who have competed against three of the four competitors---
Caffrey slides back up to the microphone.
CAFFREY
---and one of them isn’t even worth talking about, anyway…
Knowing where this is going, Caffrey seems more than game to stay a few extra minute.
CATALDI
---what are your thoughts? Who wins on Sunday?
Caffrey doesn’t even hesitate.
CAFFREY
Oh, Subject #42. Easily.
CATALDI
Now, that’s a surprise to me.
CAFFREY
Why is that a surprise? You have Bobby Barratt who has struggled ever since he stopped embracing his inner [censored], and Maverick, who’s punching so far above his weight class, that I wouldn’t be surprised if Subject sends him back to that [censored]hole Master Class Championship Wrestling in a bodybag.
The studio censors are glad that this interview is running on a time delay. Angelo senses the ability to create a headline and pursues the topic further.
CATALDI
What did you just call MCCW? Are you sure you wanna say that?
CAFFREY
Oh hell yeah I do. Are you kidding?
Caffrey realizes Cataldi isn’t kidding and scoots forward in his seat.
CAFFREY
Let me explain. I’m tired of the hype about MCCW. If those Master Classholes want to walk around the XHF like they own the [censored]ing federation, when we all know the competition there is basically nonexistent---
Caffrey looks into the camera directly.
CAFFREY
Then they deserve someone to pop off on them. Let’s be real: the level of competition there is like entering a baking contest with a [censored]ing Betty Crocker recipe.
The room takes on a new energy as they know Caffrey is making headlines.
CAFFREY
That’s not wrestling. You put any of those guys in a match against real talent, where they have to make a real effort, and you know what they do? They crumble. They bill themselves as an alternative to the AWF, but be honest: none of them could handle AWF, so that’s why they’re there.
His sinister smile is on full display.
CAFFREY
That statement starts with their worst wrestlers and goes all the way up to the top. Let’s quit living this lie and speak the truth, shall we? When you have an "alternative", you really look to a place like Destiny or SWAT, where the guys working their asses off to get where they are. Granted, SWAT sent Psychotic Goth, so I'm not sure how full of talent they really are...
Caffrey snickers in an ancient English dialect.
CAFFREY
But anyway, MCCW... you know, the level of competition in AXW was, sure, slightly abysmal at times, but at least the people in AXW did a little bit more than… you know, showing up.
He gives a sarcastic wave towards the camera, as if he was introducing myself.
CAFFREY
Seriously, have you even seen their matches? They’re basically just sprints toward the end, when then hit their finishers three, four, even five times and then “Oh my gosh, it’s amazing, it’s still not over!” You know what a finisher is? When Subject #42 runs across the ring with freakish speed and spears you with over three hundred twenty five pounds of brute force crashing through your ribcage, now that’s a finisher! Because THAT actually ends matches.
He brings a fist into his upright hand, and then the hand falls flat. His other hand makes the pin.
CAFFREY
One, two, three.
He shakes his head and takes a sip of his water.
CAFFREY
Oh, but we’re supposed to be excited now because Maverick finally crawled out of the IRW shithole dimension and finally won a few matches. He’s finally turning the corner, this is finally his moment, it’s finally his time to shine!
His biting sarcasm does not stop.
CAFFREY
Hasn’t it been “finally his time”, for, I don’t know, a [censored]ing year now?
Even the other members of the studio laugh along with Caffrey.
CAFFREY
People called him the Most Underrated, but I think 2019 was the year Maverick proved that no, he’s probably overrated. But go ahead and get excited for the King of the Quitters. Bobby Barratt hit the nail on the head there: Maverick’s only an Icon when it suddenly benefits him to be an Icon.
Cataldi cuts in.
CATALDI
King of the Quitters?
CAFFREY
Yeah. Quit the Icons, quit your company, quit your XHF Tag Team Championship reign, and go hang out with, you know… like-minded people....
You can hear the keyboard warriors raging on the forums and chatrooms across America. Caffrey has second thoughts about his last statement.
CAFFREY
I should probably take back King of the Quitters. That would require Maverick to be the best at something. He can be the Jack of the Quitters instead, since he’s at most, like, third best at anything.
He looks over from his notes.
CAFFREY
Speaking of Jack, man, do you he think he gets paid by appearance at this point? Is that how he’s sustaining himself in his retirement? Just being wheeled out by every Icon as a one-trick pony, serving as the Yoda to their Luke Skywalkers? Did we really need a Jack Diamond appearance to tell us that Bobby Barratt is a washed-up has-been? I think the only one that doesn’t know that at this point is Bobby himself.
He laughs to himself.
CAFFREY
But sure, let’s keep beating that dead horse until it really sinks in, shall we?
The studio laughs along.
CAFFREY
Bless Bobby’s heart. He really still thinks he’s a world class level competitor. He got in the ring with me, and he put me through my paces, sure. But he’s no [censored]ing world destroyer anymore. The only thing that Bobby Barratt can destroy nowadays is his own reputation.
He taps on his watch.
CAFFREY
Tick tock, tick tock. Let me put it to you this way, Bob: you don’t want to become a Rob Arnold. You don’t want to become some grumpy old [censored] trotting yourself out there at God knows what age telling every young whippersnapper that you know better than them, and then getting destroyed by those same whippersnappers.
He rolls his eyes.
CAFFREY
If I fought the most "dangerous incarnation" of Bobby Barratt at Night of Champions, then Bob, don’t both showing up on Sunday. The first time those gigantic hands wrap around your throat, you’ll immediately regret your decision. When your head bounces off the mat, you’re going to wish you were at that cozy desk job you hate so much yet continue to work at despite constantly, constantly, constantly [censored]ing about it.
He rolls his eyes even harder.
CAFFREY
Be real with us, Bob. You don’t have it anymore, and while I’m sure the AWF appreciates you being a company man after you quit on them almost as badly as Maverick did, the more you wrestle, the more you damage your legacy.
He notes the word “legacy” and scribbles it down in his notes.
CAFFREY
Of course, Maverick’s legacy is always being a bridesmaid and never being a bride, so you know, you could do worse.
He scratches his chin, pretending to be lost in thought for a few seconds.
CAFFREY
Come to think of it, Maverick’s legacy is more being an entitled prick than anything. You know who will tell you you should be impressed by Maverick? Maverick. You know who will brag about doing some cool tricks or “stealing the show” as if it pays the bills because he can’t brag about winning? Maverick. For [censored] sake, the guy said he DESERVED the X-Crown. He deserves it. You know who deserves the X-Crown?
He gestures for the radio host to lean in. He leans towards the host and whispers.
CAFFREY
Wrestlers with winning records.
He looks around, as if he’s checking to make sure that nobody’s listening that could get him in trouble.
CAFFREY
Wrestlers with winning records that show up to the arena on time.
He stops whispering.
CAFFREY
If you claim you deserve the X-Crown, you already don’t deserve it.
He shakes his head.
CAFFREY
Do you think Subject goes around RAGHing that it deserves the gold? Absolutely not. It went out and destroyed Mike Lio and Armageddon at the same time to claim the Destiny Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. Then it followed up by wrecking Dylan Black, Thomas Galloway, and some dude named Rockface the very next week. Subject wasn’t being an opportunist. either. Subject pinned all of those guys. He crushed ALL of them.
Caffrey’s biting sarcasm returns.
CAFFREY
But sure, Maverick DESERVES the X-Crown, so let’s just give it to him.
The whole studio seems to hate Maverick just as much as Caffrey does.
CATALDI
It sounds like you have a lot of hatred in your heart towards Maverick. Is it still from him smashing our Super Bowl trophy?
The speed in which Caffrey shakes his head “no” increases. He makes his next statement delicately.
CAFFREY
No, I already got us back for that, but if Maverick’s going to take potshot after potshot at me in the media for the past six months after I beat him fair and square, and then throw little, uh… “bachelorette parties” before and after shows, and uh… leave someone off the invitation list…
He knows the line he’s walking on, but he’s enjoying the sound of his own voice too much to stop.
CAFFREY
Well then really, who’s the self-entitled dick then?
He shrugs.
CAFFREY
But that’s what you’ve got this Sunday. You’ve got some guy not worth talking about, the fading Bobby Barratt, and the quitter Maverick, against The Freak. They’re going against a monster who can and will rip them limb from limb to defend its championship and its freedom. In Philadelphia, we talk about bleeding green as Eagles fans, but Subject actually does it. It’s fast, it’s big, it’s powerful, and I don’t think anyone has a solution for it right now.
Caffrey puts a finger up.
CAFFREY
In fact--- if I’m Bobby Barratt or Maverick, I would stop the petty bickering and [censored]ing and try to come to some kind of peace agreement. The Tower at Night of Champions only reaffirms my beliefs. When you stop trying to beat Subject in a multi-man match, and start focusing on your other competitors instead, well... it’s like crossing the highway without looking both ways. You might get a little far, but then’s someone’s going to have notify a next of kin.
Caffrey makes the same impact he did earlier: his fist being brought into his hand, and the hand dropping flat. It is clear that he is predicting a similar fate for Psychotic Goth, Bobby, and Maverick.
CATALDI
That’s all the time we have tonight, so once again, ladies and gentlemen, the AXW Undisputed Champion, Anthony Caffrey!
Caffrey tips his cap towards the cheering crowd in the studio, throwing his title over his shoulder, getting ready to head back to work.
CAFFREY
Thanks for having me.
The camera cuts.
ANTHONY CAFFREY
So one more time, live on Anonymous TV on October 25th, you go support your fellow Philadelphian, Anthony Caffrey, as he defends his AXW Undisputed Championship. It’s going to be the Last Chapter of AXW vs. The Historical Footnote vs. The Guy Who Couldn’t Make A Page, Caffrey vs. Arnold vs. Draven, winner gets an X-Crown shot. I won’t let you all down.
The scene opens up on the Philadelphia radio studio for 94 WIP’s morning radio show with Angelo Cataldi. The champion is dressed in a Joel Embiid jersey as he promotes Lay Rest To The Wicked and does his best to repress the latest Eagles loss.
CAFFREY
And we are gonna be [bleep]ing bonkers at the Linc in May. Count on it.
Everyone in the studio lets out a hearty cheer. Caffrey smiles a genuine smile as he begins to gather his things.
ANGELO CATALDI
Now before we let you hop on that plane back to London you talked about, those of us in the studio wanted to get your opinion about the X-Crown match at the End of Days finale. You’re one of the few active wrestlers in the XHF who have competed against three of the four competitors---
Caffrey slides back up to the microphone.
CAFFREY
---and one of them isn’t even worth talking about, anyway…
Knowing where this is going, Caffrey seems more than game to stay a few extra minute.
CATALDI
---what are your thoughts? Who wins on Sunday?
Caffrey doesn’t even hesitate.
CAFFREY
Oh, Subject #42. Easily.
CATALDI
Now, that’s a surprise to me.
CAFFREY
Why is that a surprise? You have Bobby Barratt who has struggled ever since he stopped embracing his inner [censored], and Maverick, who’s punching so far above his weight class, that I wouldn’t be surprised if Subject sends him back to that [censored]hole Master Class Championship Wrestling in a bodybag.
The studio censors are glad that this interview is running on a time delay. Angelo senses the ability to create a headline and pursues the topic further.
CATALDI
What did you just call MCCW? Are you sure you wanna say that?
CAFFREY
Oh hell yeah I do. Are you kidding?
Caffrey realizes Cataldi isn’t kidding and scoots forward in his seat.
CAFFREY
Let me explain. I’m tired of the hype about MCCW. If those Master Classholes want to walk around the XHF like they own the [censored]ing federation, when we all know the competition there is basically nonexistent---
Caffrey looks into the camera directly.
CAFFREY
Then they deserve someone to pop off on them. Let’s be real: the level of competition there is like entering a baking contest with a [censored]ing Betty Crocker recipe.
The room takes on a new energy as they know Caffrey is making headlines.
CAFFREY
That’s not wrestling. You put any of those guys in a match against real talent, where they have to make a real effort, and you know what they do? They crumble. They bill themselves as an alternative to the AWF, but be honest: none of them could handle AWF, so that’s why they’re there.
His sinister smile is on full display.
CAFFREY
That statement starts with their worst wrestlers and goes all the way up to the top. Let’s quit living this lie and speak the truth, shall we? When you have an "alternative", you really look to a place like Destiny or SWAT, where the guys working their asses off to get where they are. Granted, SWAT sent Psychotic Goth, so I'm not sure how full of talent they really are...
Caffrey snickers in an ancient English dialect.
CAFFREY
But anyway, MCCW... you know, the level of competition in AXW was, sure, slightly abysmal at times, but at least the people in AXW did a little bit more than… you know, showing up.
He gives a sarcastic wave towards the camera, as if he was introducing myself.
CAFFREY
Seriously, have you even seen their matches? They’re basically just sprints toward the end, when then hit their finishers three, four, even five times and then “Oh my gosh, it’s amazing, it’s still not over!” You know what a finisher is? When Subject #42 runs across the ring with freakish speed and spears you with over three hundred twenty five pounds of brute force crashing through your ribcage, now that’s a finisher! Because THAT actually ends matches.
He brings a fist into his upright hand, and then the hand falls flat. His other hand makes the pin.
CAFFREY
One, two, three.
He shakes his head and takes a sip of his water.
CAFFREY
Oh, but we’re supposed to be excited now because Maverick finally crawled out of the IRW shithole dimension and finally won a few matches. He’s finally turning the corner, this is finally his moment, it’s finally his time to shine!
His biting sarcasm does not stop.
CAFFREY
Hasn’t it been “finally his time”, for, I don’t know, a [censored]ing year now?
Even the other members of the studio laugh along with Caffrey.
CAFFREY
People called him the Most Underrated, but I think 2019 was the year Maverick proved that no, he’s probably overrated. But go ahead and get excited for the King of the Quitters. Bobby Barratt hit the nail on the head there: Maverick’s only an Icon when it suddenly benefits him to be an Icon.
Cataldi cuts in.
CATALDI
King of the Quitters?
CAFFREY
Yeah. Quit the Icons, quit your company, quit your XHF Tag Team Championship reign, and go hang out with, you know… like-minded people....
You can hear the keyboard warriors raging on the forums and chatrooms across America. Caffrey has second thoughts about his last statement.
CAFFREY
I should probably take back King of the Quitters. That would require Maverick to be the best at something. He can be the Jack of the Quitters instead, since he’s at most, like, third best at anything.
He looks over from his notes.
CAFFREY
Speaking of Jack, man, do you he think he gets paid by appearance at this point? Is that how he’s sustaining himself in his retirement? Just being wheeled out by every Icon as a one-trick pony, serving as the Yoda to their Luke Skywalkers? Did we really need a Jack Diamond appearance to tell us that Bobby Barratt is a washed-up has-been? I think the only one that doesn’t know that at this point is Bobby himself.
He laughs to himself.
CAFFREY
But sure, let’s keep beating that dead horse until it really sinks in, shall we?
The studio laughs along.
CAFFREY
Bless Bobby’s heart. He really still thinks he’s a world class level competitor. He got in the ring with me, and he put me through my paces, sure. But he’s no [censored]ing world destroyer anymore. The only thing that Bobby Barratt can destroy nowadays is his own reputation.
He taps on his watch.
CAFFREY
Tick tock, tick tock. Let me put it to you this way, Bob: you don’t want to become a Rob Arnold. You don’t want to become some grumpy old [censored] trotting yourself out there at God knows what age telling every young whippersnapper that you know better than them, and then getting destroyed by those same whippersnappers.
He rolls his eyes.
CAFFREY
If I fought the most "dangerous incarnation" of Bobby Barratt at Night of Champions, then Bob, don’t both showing up on Sunday. The first time those gigantic hands wrap around your throat, you’ll immediately regret your decision. When your head bounces off the mat, you’re going to wish you were at that cozy desk job you hate so much yet continue to work at despite constantly, constantly, constantly [censored]ing about it.
He rolls his eyes even harder.
CAFFREY
Be real with us, Bob. You don’t have it anymore, and while I’m sure the AWF appreciates you being a company man after you quit on them almost as badly as Maverick did, the more you wrestle, the more you damage your legacy.
He notes the word “legacy” and scribbles it down in his notes.
CAFFREY
Of course, Maverick’s legacy is always being a bridesmaid and never being a bride, so you know, you could do worse.
He scratches his chin, pretending to be lost in thought for a few seconds.
CAFFREY
Come to think of it, Maverick’s legacy is more being an entitled prick than anything. You know who will tell you you should be impressed by Maverick? Maverick. You know who will brag about doing some cool tricks or “stealing the show” as if it pays the bills because he can’t brag about winning? Maverick. For [censored] sake, the guy said he DESERVED the X-Crown. He deserves it. You know who deserves the X-Crown?
He gestures for the radio host to lean in. He leans towards the host and whispers.
CAFFREY
Wrestlers with winning records.
He looks around, as if he’s checking to make sure that nobody’s listening that could get him in trouble.
CAFFREY
Wrestlers with winning records that show up to the arena on time.
He stops whispering.
CAFFREY
If you claim you deserve the X-Crown, you already don’t deserve it.
He shakes his head.
CAFFREY
Do you think Subject goes around RAGHing that it deserves the gold? Absolutely not. It went out and destroyed Mike Lio and Armageddon at the same time to claim the Destiny Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. Then it followed up by wrecking Dylan Black, Thomas Galloway, and some dude named Rockface the very next week. Subject wasn’t being an opportunist. either. Subject pinned all of those guys. He crushed ALL of them.
Caffrey’s biting sarcasm returns.
CAFFREY
But sure, Maverick DESERVES the X-Crown, so let’s just give it to him.
The whole studio seems to hate Maverick just as much as Caffrey does.
CATALDI
It sounds like you have a lot of hatred in your heart towards Maverick. Is it still from him smashing our Super Bowl trophy?
The speed in which Caffrey shakes his head “no” increases. He makes his next statement delicately.
CAFFREY
No, I already got us back for that, but if Maverick’s going to take potshot after potshot at me in the media for the past six months after I beat him fair and square, and then throw little, uh… “bachelorette parties” before and after shows, and uh… leave someone off the invitation list…
He knows the line he’s walking on, but he’s enjoying the sound of his own voice too much to stop.
CAFFREY
Well then really, who’s the self-entitled dick then?
He shrugs.
CAFFREY
But that’s what you’ve got this Sunday. You’ve got some guy not worth talking about, the fading Bobby Barratt, and the quitter Maverick, against The Freak. They’re going against a monster who can and will rip them limb from limb to defend its championship and its freedom. In Philadelphia, we talk about bleeding green as Eagles fans, but Subject actually does it. It’s fast, it’s big, it’s powerful, and I don’t think anyone has a solution for it right now.
Caffrey puts a finger up.
CAFFREY
In fact--- if I’m Bobby Barratt or Maverick, I would stop the petty bickering and [censored]ing and try to come to some kind of peace agreement. The Tower at Night of Champions only reaffirms my beliefs. When you stop trying to beat Subject in a multi-man match, and start focusing on your other competitors instead, well... it’s like crossing the highway without looking both ways. You might get a little far, but then’s someone’s going to have notify a next of kin.
Caffrey makes the same impact he did earlier: his fist being brought into his hand, and the hand dropping flat. It is clear that he is predicting a similar fate for Psychotic Goth, Bobby, and Maverick.
CATALDI
That’s all the time we have tonight, so once again, ladies and gentlemen, the AXW Undisputed Champion, Anthony Caffrey!
Caffrey tips his cap towards the cheering crowd in the studio, throwing his title over his shoulder, getting ready to head back to work.
CAFFREY
Thanks for having me.
The camera cuts.
