Post by Seth Dillinger on Oct 31, 2019 16:03:18 GMT -5
Seth Dillinger walks into frame and plops down on a barstool in front of the camera. He holds a giant black velvet bag in his hands. Seth wears a set of joogging pants and a very Fresh Prince windbreaker jacket. He takes a seat and looks up into the camera, then glances OFF-CAMERA (a word which here means past the viewing field of the camera towards whoever is behind it) and holds a thumb out sideways, tilting it up and down.
SETH DILLINGER
"We good?"
An affirmative "uh-huh" comes from behind the camera and Seth drops his hand, breathing in big, and letting a giant fucking grin grow across his face.
SETH DILLINGER
"Well... hello there, boys and girls. It's your boy, Seth Dillinger, fresh off of his big victory at End of Days against Dylan Black. That guy... talked a big game, but when push came to shove, he was a big bag of nothing. Really just... disappointing. Hell, leading into that match, I was worried that I would wind up losing control against him. I had such expectations and then to put him down so easily and with such a whimper... it was certainly unexpected. I guess, you know, not everything is like the movies. Not everything has its perfect three act structure with a beginning and a middle and a climax and a denouement. Sometimes, in real life, it's just... talk shit, get hit, you know? Dylan talked shit. He got hit. It's over now."
Seth glances down at the bag in his hands and his face lights up.
SETH DILLINGER
"AH! But... that's not why I'm here today. I'm here because it's my favorite day of the year. I know kids love Christmas... and like, my parents loved Easter because it's the day Papa Jesus was revived and pushed a big rock out of the way and floated to heaven or something. I dunno. Republicans love the Fourth of July. But... gays? Oh, there's only one day for us. Some call it Gay Christmas..."
Seth stands from the barstool and smiles into the camera.
SETH DILLINGER
"...Halloween!"
Seth rips off his jacket and jogging pants. Underneath, he wears a black speedo with a red cropped shirt on, blue gloves, a blue handkerchief, and a beltbuckle around his waist in the shape of a seashell. He stands in front of the camera and presents himself with an open-mouth smirk on his face.
SETH DILLINGER
"...ta-da!"
He stands for a moment as there's no response from off-camera. His eyes go big as he remembers something.
SETH DILLINGER
"Oh, right!"
Seth turns to the velvet bag on the ground and digs in, producing a small bandana, which he ties around his eyes, aligning his eyes with the eyeholes neatly cut into the fabric. He turns back to the camera and strikes a triumphant pose, expecting a response. There's still no response. Seth drops his shoulders.
SETH DILLINGER
"Oh come on!! I'm Barnacle Boy!"
Seth motions down to his whole getup.
SETH DILLINGER
"It would make more sense if Dennis was here... he's Mermaid Man."
No response.
SETH DILLINGER
"From Spongebob!?"
Still no response.
SETH DILLINGER
"Whatever, dude. Sorry you didn't watch QUALITY children's programming."
Seth steps back towards his barstool and takes a seat, his legs uncomfortably bare for the entire length of the leg. Seth throws his hands up.
SETH DILLINGER
"You know, you think you've got a home run of a costume idea for Halloween, you double up on leg day to make sure you're good to show off your quads, and then you're stuck with a certain camera operator who apparently grew up inside a fucking cave. Whatever, I know the AWF fans out there get the reference, right?"
Seth pauses for a response... then realizes how dumb that is.
SETH DILLINGER
"Oh. Duh. This isn't livestreaming. Well then..."
Seth nervously chuckles and rubs his head, tussling his own hair a bit.
SETH DILLINGER
"ANYWAY... Halloween. When we gays get to go out and be as slutty as the sorority girls and show off skin and stuff. Or just dress up as our favorite characters, or put on makeup and experiment with genderbending. This year, I happen to be in a relationship, so I demanded we do a couples costume. But... you know, Halloween isn't even really about being really slutty or sexy or cute. It's supposed to be about being scared. I really struggle with this. On the one hand... I appreciate a good bit of spooky, and I love a gross costume. On the other hand... look how fucking cute I am right now. And you should just see Dennis. Ugh. We're adorable, I hate it sometimes."
Seth bends down and snatches up the velvet bag again.
SETH DILLINGER
"It doesn't seem like most of the AWF is really in the Halloween spirit. Not to fret, though. I already went through and picked out some easy costume ideas for everyone. Now, I am a monogamous man now... for the most part... so my aim with these costumes was to make you all look as SCARY as possible. Or like, you know, really pick something out that'd scare you, yeah? Or just, like a costume that made me think of you...anyway, let's see what I got in here..."
Seth rummages around in the bag before dragging out a mask... a very familiar mask. He holds it in his hands and shrugs.
SETH DILLINGER
"Well, wouldn't you know... the mask that Dylan Black wore when he assaulted me at Beach Blast. He tried to wear it to attack me again a couple weeks back, but this time, LGBTKO was there. See, this was actually a costume I thought of for myself... do something that scares me, you know? It'd be like if I dressed up as an astronaut. Except... the astronaut thing would actually be scary. After I realized how pathetic Dylan was... I dunno, man. The mask lost its power. It's kinda stupid and derpy now that I look at it."
Seth haphazardly tosses the mask over his shoulder and digs through until he finds another one. He produces an elaborate tophat, which he uncrumples and pops on his head. He keeps pulling from the bag and produces a long pair of red striped pants, which he slips on over top of his current bare legs, and pulls on a blue halfcoat on top.
SETH DILLINGER
"There's a white goatee in here somewhere but... Johnny Sniper!! This is for you! Your very own Uncle Sam costume! I know, I know... it's not really original. But I figure what better way to honor America than by dressing up in a cartoonish caricature of it that oversells its strengths and ignores its ample weaknesses. I mean, Johnny, much respect... but your whole identity is wrapped up in what you did for this country, my dude. So I figured, yeah, you'd probably appreciate this -- it's red, white, blue, and makes the American Government look like a really cool old dude. What's not to love?"
Seth whips off the costume and begins digging through the rest of the clothes.
SETH DILLINGER
"Oh!!"
He pulls out a giant white hat -- a chef's hat, to be exact -- and a white chef's overcoat. He holds them up and slips them on. The coat hangs down just about to his thighs, which are pantsless.
SETH DILLINGER
"Here's the great thing about this one: it's a duo costume, and you only need one half of it! This one is for Drago. See, I just figure... you could probably do this one easily. I figure, like, easily half your wardrobe is solid black anyway, so finding a pair of black pants to go along with it to really complete the look won't be hard. I didn't have time to search for some. But, YEAH, this one is a partner gag... but, like, we have a literal chef in the AWF now, so this one is for Drago and Anthony Craig! Drago, I figure it'd be good for you to partner up with Anthony. Craig is good with cooking and seasoning, and like... come on. After three back to back unsuccessful shots at the Prestige Title following your loss at End of Days, you're probably producing enough salt to season an entire fucking island nation."
Seth laughs to himself as he tosses the costume aside. He starts digging in the bag again and this time produces a very stringy piece of leather.. followed by another strip of leather with various metal clasps on it... and a harness of some kind... he flashes a shit-eating grin to the camera.
SETH DILLINGER
"Oh, these..."
Seth holds the very obviously sexual leather attire up to his body and demonstrates where each piece goes. The leather codpiece is EXTREMELY skimpy. Seth giggles.
SETH DILLINGER
"...these are for Hyperion. Just because... you know... I'm curious..."
Seth snickers and tosses the gear over his shoulder. He finally produces the last costume piece in his bag. It's a simple mask on a stick -- like one of those bighead things you see at sporting events. Seth turns and holds it up to his face, revealing none other than the face of Maverick. Seth puts on a stupid voice.
SETH DILLINGER
"WELL HEY! I'M MAVERICK! I AM A CONSISTENT CHOKER WHO CAN'T GET THE JOB DONE!"
Seth laughs and pulls the mask down then looks into the camera.
SETH DILLINGER
"Now, who did I choose to be Maverick? Well, it may shock some of you... but I chose this costume for none other than Rocco Rose! Now, I know what some of you are saying... how is Rocco Rose at ALL like Maverick? Well... truth be told, they're a little too close for comfort. In the spirit of picking out things that terrify Rocco Rose... I think looking into a mirror and seeing himself as Maverick is about the goddamn scariest thing imaginable for the poor bastard."
Seth holds the mask in his hands and paces around a bit, standing up from his stool.
SETH DILLINGER
"I mean... he's already most of the way there towards becoming Maverick. Big, impressive debut that gets a lot of people talking about him? Yup. Immediately thrust into the limelight for a shot at glory? Yup. Unable to capitalize on said chance of a lifetime? You bet. Critical failure leads to further critical failure later on? Uh-huh, his loss at Fired Up lead to another devastating loss in the End of Days tournament. Lashing out with cowardly actions in frustration of his own ineptitude? Oh yeah. Rocco's attack on Bobby last Prestige is such a textbook trick out of Maverick's playbook. I mean, shit... Rocco even refused to stand on his own and went running for backup in the process. Instead of the Icons, like Maverick, Rocco found himself the Cure. It's funny... both those guys could've been so great if they just didn't plug themselves into the wrong group. You were still so young, Rocco! Why throw it all away to side with people like Drago, who are eternally getting second place?"
Seth sits back down and tosses the Maverick mask on the ground.
SETH DILLINGER
"That's all the Cure is... you know? You're all full of people who think they're great, but when they're handed a free opportunity to prove it... none of you can. Well, maybe, except for Vincent Draven, who at least was able to teach that punk bitch Caffrey a lesson. But then he immediately lost the tag titles the next night. And while the Cure runs off, nursing its wounds, LGBTKO steps up. Drago couldn't put Hyperion down... so I guess we'll have to. Dreadvan couldn't put Stormcrow down... so I guess we'll have to. Hell, what have you even done, Rocco, since joining the Cure last Prestige? What have you even done since your big night in the Fired Up battle royal where -- once again -- you came up short to my buddy, Ryan Young. You came up short to Dixie Rose and Hyperion. You came up short against Esmur in your one-on-one. You came up short against me and Ryan at Fired Up. You came up short against Jeremiah Vastrix. You're... you're already disappointing, Rocco. At least Maverick started out with a few wins under his belt, and a title to boot. You've got nothing but your sad little rage and petulant whining. And a little temper tantrum never scared me before."
Seth smirks at the camera as it fades to black.