Post by BrainScratch on Dec 31, 2019 1:12:27 GMT -5
(OOC: A teaser to get my writing muscles back in shape. I've had an application ready to go, but it could use some leading-in.)
"The All Seeing" Isaiah Zepp was once a double champion in Riot Star Wrestling, and perhaps the most polarizing wrestler on the planet. He has not stepped inside a squared circle since his last appearance for RSW. Luckily, he's not been imprisoned or embroiled in another world war with politicians, either. Isaiah still joins the occasional protest and offers his savings from professional wrestling to charities, but compared to his usual trials and tribulations, he's living a fairly normal life.
These days he's most known for hosting the Zepp Effect podcast, where he discusses his experiences as a wrestler and political activist alongside a myriad of guests. The podcast has been growing in popularity and viewership all year long, and Isaiah has hinted that today's episode would have a huge announcement.
The sounds of sleigh bells and light piano twinkles give way to the gritty beat of "A Christmas Fucking Miracle" by Run The Jewels. From the production chair, Isaiah's brother Ed Zepp makes a simple edit to cut out the first four of El-P's lines, but the rest of the verse is uninterrupted.
"Love what you did with the place, it looks gorgeous
Cityscape where the blood of good men courses
And the Dreamers are bull-trapped in porcelain
Take a knee to the gods and get horse shit
Wanna live for the thrill? They'll arrange it
Got a bevy of imps to spit hatred
Shit'll get in your head and cause panic
Have you desperately begging to get famous
Get your dignity dirty and left orphaned
Sanity on the fringe of distorted
Who are they to just take shit and hoard it?
Who am I that I don't get my portion?
The most impressionable minds get molested
And informed by manipulating forces
Don't fret little man, don't cry
They can never take the energy inside you were born with
Knowing that, understand you could never be poor
You already won the war, you were born rich
You can only take the energy you had
Going back to the realm or the home where your lord is
Whoever, whatever that lord is
Couldn't give a fuck if you ever made fortunes
Fuck anyone ever trying to run that bum shit
Send 'em to the flames where the orcs live
Them and the lost minds thinking they're smarter than us
Don't understand love's importance
And we can weaponize that, bring 'em back to the truth
Where the ashes and dust got formed in"
The song is faded down as the gravelly deep voice of Isaiah Zepp chimes in.
Zepp: "Good evening, ladies, gentiles, and children one and all! This is a special LIVE edition of The Zepp Effect, beaming to you from San Diego. Can already see there's a few extra hundred thousand listeners. Having a merry Christmas break, I do hope. Perhaps we are stuck in the holiday limbo between now and the new year, looking for entertainment. Or perhaps you're all clued into a certain decision from yours truly. So we'll get right into it."
Isaiah proceeds to not get right into it, and instead takes a long drink from a Sobe strawberry banana smoothie. He smacks his lips in satisfaction.
Zepp: "Many have questioned when Isaiah Zepp would stop talking about professional wrestling and get back to wrestling professionally. I'll let you in on a secret. I've had a contract on this very desk for some time. The ones and zeros have been deliberated and are quite adequate. All one needs to do is sign the John Hancock. Now, you may ask where a man such as myself would go after the legendary road of perdition I laid throughout the Riot Star, and the answer is no puzzle. The men that I sought to fight yet continuously avoided me all gated themselves into the city of Global Championship Wrestling. There's only one extra caveat, being that GCW is still molding its own identity. They want to take a Histrionic approach. History can be... interesting. Interesting enough to catch a few eyes, this All-Seeing Eye in particular. I've been looking to redeem the missed chances from my own History, and carving a brand new one. Where will you be when History begins?"
Isaiah hums a few bars from an unrecognizable song. It would seem crazy, but it almost sounds like 'Hail To The Chief.'
Zepp: "Before I continue, I'd like to give shout out to our wonderful sponsor San Diego Steaks. Synthesized and stylized by scientific masters, it's a better cut than anything in Omaha... because Omaha sucks. Now then, apologies for the misdirection, because my biggest announcement today is NOT about wrestling. I'd like to introduce tonight's guest to help me with that. When we first met he was a Sergeant, but since then he's become Colonel William Davenport. Colonel, welcome to the podcast."
A blip of static pops across the airwaves.
Zepp: "Ed, did we lose him? Edward?!"
Across the room, the monstrous yet tech-savvy Ed Zepp murmurs with frustration as he clicks a mouse and hammers on his keyboard, finally giving Isaiah an irksome thumbs up.
Zepp: "Just a minor technical difficulty. Colonel Davenport is now on the line, I presume."
A second voice finally speaks, with a slight southern drawl compacted with stern wisdom.
Davenport: "That is affirmative. A dropped call is nothing compared to almost droppin out that airplane, ey Zeppo?"
I-Zepp: "It proves that I am both the unluckiest and luckiest man alive that I was in that situation, yet had someone such as yourself to help me survive it."
Davenport: "I think all the civilians were the lucky ones. To all the listeners, my friend Isaiah here tries to play humble, but he knows exactly what a big piece of business he is. He saved my keister ten thousand miles in the sky. What was that boy's name who nearly killed us?"
Zepp: "Jekyll? Jack hole, perhaps?"
Davenport: "Hah, it was Jackal! I still remember, he called me Colonel Klink before we scared his sorry ass off that plane. And now look who's an actual Colonel after all."
Zepp: "I suppose even a jack hole could see your promotion coming."
Davenport: "The only reason I ranked up was I got the credit for your work. Stopping the BSE, takin' down Senator Peterson, that was all you, compadre. There's not a single obstacle that you don't overcome, and that's without any resources but yourself. I can't think of a task too tall... Which is a reason I'm invited today, isn't it?"
Isaiah takes a deep breath. Here's the speech he's been writing in his head for months.
Zepp: "Certainly, sir. I've been contemplating what the next big move in my life should be. I'm no longer a grassroots folk hero, a national curiosity, nor a walking international incident. It's time for the next phase in my life, to impact as many lives as I possibly can while there's still time. And right now, the way this country has been dragged through the dirt, there's only one plausible way to do that. The greed of the few has ruined the needs of the many. The media has distorted the perception of what's actually important, and our government has capitalized on that misinformation to wring us out for every penny like a washrag. I say, it's time for the people to take back the power, because we always hold the power, it's only needs to be tuned in the right direction. We need a change, a real palpable change. The list of injustices is enormous, but off the top of my head, fair taxation of all citizens including billionaires and corporations, the upheaval of the privatized prison system, and the funding and nurturing of education are the most integral keys to the nation's success. The terrible secret of the USA is that its always cut corners and cut throats to get where it is, but to truly be the greatest nation in the world that has to end."
Davenport: "My oh my, Zepp, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were running for office. Hah hah!"
Zepp: "Funny you should guess that, Colonel. That's because I've just turned thirty years of age, which makes me eligible to announce... my candidacy for Montgomery Peterson's seat in the United States Senate!"
Isaiah lets that sink in as he watches the viewer-count of his stream rise closer to a million.
Zepp: "Together we can make California and America great, for the first time ever. How does that sound, Colonel?"
The wrestler slash activist slash potential politician waits impatiently for a response. Then he notices the stream has locked up with thousands of comments and reactions.
Zepp: "Ed, are you fixing this? Edward?!"
Isaiah snaps his fingers to his 'little' brother, who waves him off and gesticulates toward his own monitor. The overload isn't something that can merely be fixed, and the stream cuts.
To Be Cotinued...
"The All Seeing" Isaiah Zepp was once a double champion in Riot Star Wrestling, and perhaps the most polarizing wrestler on the planet. He has not stepped inside a squared circle since his last appearance for RSW. Luckily, he's not been imprisoned or embroiled in another world war with politicians, either. Isaiah still joins the occasional protest and offers his savings from professional wrestling to charities, but compared to his usual trials and tribulations, he's living a fairly normal life.
These days he's most known for hosting the Zepp Effect podcast, where he discusses his experiences as a wrestler and political activist alongside a myriad of guests. The podcast has been growing in popularity and viewership all year long, and Isaiah has hinted that today's episode would have a huge announcement.
The sounds of sleigh bells and light piano twinkles give way to the gritty beat of "A Christmas Fucking Miracle" by Run The Jewels. From the production chair, Isaiah's brother Ed Zepp makes a simple edit to cut out the first four of El-P's lines, but the rest of the verse is uninterrupted.
"Love what you did with the place, it looks gorgeous
Cityscape where the blood of good men courses
And the Dreamers are bull-trapped in porcelain
Take a knee to the gods and get horse shit
Wanna live for the thrill? They'll arrange it
Got a bevy of imps to spit hatred
Shit'll get in your head and cause panic
Have you desperately begging to get famous
Get your dignity dirty and left orphaned
Sanity on the fringe of distorted
Who are they to just take shit and hoard it?
Who am I that I don't get my portion?
The most impressionable minds get molested
And informed by manipulating forces
Don't fret little man, don't cry
They can never take the energy inside you were born with
Knowing that, understand you could never be poor
You already won the war, you were born rich
You can only take the energy you had
Going back to the realm or the home where your lord is
Whoever, whatever that lord is
Couldn't give a fuck if you ever made fortunes
Fuck anyone ever trying to run that bum shit
Send 'em to the flames where the orcs live
Them and the lost minds thinking they're smarter than us
Don't understand love's importance
And we can weaponize that, bring 'em back to the truth
Where the ashes and dust got formed in"
The song is faded down as the gravelly deep voice of Isaiah Zepp chimes in.
Zepp: "Good evening, ladies, gentiles, and children one and all! This is a special LIVE edition of The Zepp Effect, beaming to you from San Diego. Can already see there's a few extra hundred thousand listeners. Having a merry Christmas break, I do hope. Perhaps we are stuck in the holiday limbo between now and the new year, looking for entertainment. Or perhaps you're all clued into a certain decision from yours truly. So we'll get right into it."
Isaiah proceeds to not get right into it, and instead takes a long drink from a Sobe strawberry banana smoothie. He smacks his lips in satisfaction.
Zepp: "Many have questioned when Isaiah Zepp would stop talking about professional wrestling and get back to wrestling professionally. I'll let you in on a secret. I've had a contract on this very desk for some time. The ones and zeros have been deliberated and are quite adequate. All one needs to do is sign the John Hancock. Now, you may ask where a man such as myself would go after the legendary road of perdition I laid throughout the Riot Star, and the answer is no puzzle. The men that I sought to fight yet continuously avoided me all gated themselves into the city of Global Championship Wrestling. There's only one extra caveat, being that GCW is still molding its own identity. They want to take a Histrionic approach. History can be... interesting. Interesting enough to catch a few eyes, this All-Seeing Eye in particular. I've been looking to redeem the missed chances from my own History, and carving a brand new one. Where will you be when History begins?"
Isaiah hums a few bars from an unrecognizable song. It would seem crazy, but it almost sounds like 'Hail To The Chief.'
Zepp: "Before I continue, I'd like to give shout out to our wonderful sponsor San Diego Steaks. Synthesized and stylized by scientific masters, it's a better cut than anything in Omaha... because Omaha sucks. Now then, apologies for the misdirection, because my biggest announcement today is NOT about wrestling. I'd like to introduce tonight's guest to help me with that. When we first met he was a Sergeant, but since then he's become Colonel William Davenport. Colonel, welcome to the podcast."
A blip of static pops across the airwaves.
Zepp: "Ed, did we lose him? Edward?!"
Across the room, the monstrous yet tech-savvy Ed Zepp murmurs with frustration as he clicks a mouse and hammers on his keyboard, finally giving Isaiah an irksome thumbs up.
Zepp: "Just a minor technical difficulty. Colonel Davenport is now on the line, I presume."
A second voice finally speaks, with a slight southern drawl compacted with stern wisdom.
Davenport: "That is affirmative. A dropped call is nothing compared to almost droppin out that airplane, ey Zeppo?"
I-Zepp: "It proves that I am both the unluckiest and luckiest man alive that I was in that situation, yet had someone such as yourself to help me survive it."
Davenport: "I think all the civilians were the lucky ones. To all the listeners, my friend Isaiah here tries to play humble, but he knows exactly what a big piece of business he is. He saved my keister ten thousand miles in the sky. What was that boy's name who nearly killed us?"
Zepp: "Jekyll? Jack hole, perhaps?"
Davenport: "Hah, it was Jackal! I still remember, he called me Colonel Klink before we scared his sorry ass off that plane. And now look who's an actual Colonel after all."
Zepp: "I suppose even a jack hole could see your promotion coming."
Davenport: "The only reason I ranked up was I got the credit for your work. Stopping the BSE, takin' down Senator Peterson, that was all you, compadre. There's not a single obstacle that you don't overcome, and that's without any resources but yourself. I can't think of a task too tall... Which is a reason I'm invited today, isn't it?"
Isaiah takes a deep breath. Here's the speech he's been writing in his head for months.
Zepp: "Certainly, sir. I've been contemplating what the next big move in my life should be. I'm no longer a grassroots folk hero, a national curiosity, nor a walking international incident. It's time for the next phase in my life, to impact as many lives as I possibly can while there's still time. And right now, the way this country has been dragged through the dirt, there's only one plausible way to do that. The greed of the few has ruined the needs of the many. The media has distorted the perception of what's actually important, and our government has capitalized on that misinformation to wring us out for every penny like a washrag. I say, it's time for the people to take back the power, because we always hold the power, it's only needs to be tuned in the right direction. We need a change, a real palpable change. The list of injustices is enormous, but off the top of my head, fair taxation of all citizens including billionaires and corporations, the upheaval of the privatized prison system, and the funding and nurturing of education are the most integral keys to the nation's success. The terrible secret of the USA is that its always cut corners and cut throats to get where it is, but to truly be the greatest nation in the world that has to end."
Davenport: "My oh my, Zepp, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were running for office. Hah hah!"
Zepp: "Funny you should guess that, Colonel. That's because I've just turned thirty years of age, which makes me eligible to announce... my candidacy for Montgomery Peterson's seat in the United States Senate!"
Isaiah lets that sink in as he watches the viewer-count of his stream rise closer to a million.
Zepp: "Together we can make California and America great, for the first time ever. How does that sound, Colonel?"
The wrestler slash activist slash potential politician waits impatiently for a response. Then he notices the stream has locked up with thousands of comments and reactions.
Zepp: "Ed, are you fixing this? Edward?!"
Isaiah snaps his fingers to his 'little' brother, who waves him off and gesticulates toward his own monitor. The overload isn't something that can merely be fixed, and the stream cuts.
To Be Cotinued...