четрдесет (ZS RP 00 Supremacy Reaction)
Jan 27, 2020 5:48:31 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Curtis D. Kanyon, and 6 more like this
Post by mosler on Jan 27, 2020 5:48:31 GMT -5
[Life begins at 40...]
[...At least it does for the X*Crown.]
[With the 40th champion, the belt has never glistened brighter. Could this change in course lead to a new golden age for the XHF, drawing the unique talents of SWAT closer to the network for fresh and exciting encounters...]
Zoran Sainovic <slurring words>: Ssscrew SWAT...
[Highly unlikely. If the good people at the XHF had spoken to SWAT, they would have warned them. Zoran Sainovic is subhuman trash. He does not represent SWAT. He might have name dropped the company as part of a long con, but Zoran is only out for himself.]
Zoran Sainovic: Who neeeeds ‘m.
[At the moment, Zoran is very much by himself. Sitting at the counter of a fairly dingy dive bar, Zoran Sainovic is celebrating his momentous win alone. The man who called Maverick a sad champion is currently trying to bad mouth his employers to a bartender who in turn is desperately trying to look busy. Sucking down another shot, Zoran slumps back on his stool with gut outstretched to display his championship. He might be trolling for compliments, but the other reprobates are keeping to themselves.]
Zoran Sainovic: Zey want m’ job... but whose holding all ze ...cards... now. Bastards didn’t even congratulate me...
[His phone starts to vibrate, Zoran squints to make out the number. Who does he know from India? ...Or is it a local number, and he’s just seeing double. Eureka!]
Zoran Sainovic <raising phone with a smile>: I knew zey wouldn’t for’gut ‘bout m’... <pointing at number> Alan from accounting is good people. <answering phone> Who’s ze man?
Alan from Accounting: Tom Zenk? Good work on the title win, Mr. Sainovic.
Zoran Sainovic: Zanks Al.
Alan from Accounting: We were, however, surprised that we didn’t see your big celebration afterwards. The cars, the celebrities, the pop musicians... everything you’ve been slashing the budget to fund.
Zoran Sainovic <wide eyed>: Well let me assure you... <long pause> I was planning to win, so I _definitely_ spent all zat money I saved... um... on fireworks. Zey must have cut ze feed before ze real show started. Zat sucks that you missed it, pal.
Alan from Accounting: We will need recipes for all the exp-
Zoran Sainovic <yelling in background>: Oh my god are you the X*Crown champion! <throwing voice> You’re the best! <imitating Death Trap’s Mom> Make love to me Zoran! <back to the phone but still using his DT Mom voice because he is hella drunk> Sorry Al, got to go!
Alan from Accounting: No worries Mrs. Trap, we just-
[Zoran hangs up the phone. He looks like he’s going to throw up...]
Zoran Sainovic: Do I get zanks for making zem look good? Accusations against my character. Screw SWAT... why with zis strap I can go anywhere I want.
Bartender <cleaning glass>: AWF will probably just want to beat the ever loving crap out of you to reclaim it quickly, rather than offer you a gig.
Zoran Sainovic <throwing his phone on the counter>: I have friends in GCW/RSW management... all it takes is one phone call to my Riot Star boys, and they’ll happily set me up with a cushy job. I can be THEIR champion.
Bartender: You didn’t hear?
[...]
Zoran Sainovic <swaying as he tries to keep from passing out>: Hear what?
[That sounds like ominous news, but before the other shoe can drop on the X*Crown holder’s planned betrayal - his phone rings again.]
Zoran Sainovic <answers it without checking>: I DIDN’T EMBEZZLE ZAT MONEY!!!!!!!
Rosemary <voice>: Mister Sainovic? I can barely hear you - that must be some wild party! I know you’re busy with all the celebrating, and I am very sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to say congratulations. After all your hard work, you deserve it!
Zoran Sainovic <turning his back to the bartender>: Zanks Rose... <looking around at the dump he’s found himself in> its too bad you couldn’t come out to join us. Everyone missed you.
Rosemary: Thanks Mr. Sainovic - but it’s my weekend with Oliver.
Zoran Sainovic: He would have been welcome too, but I understand it’s a school night. Well I hope you two had a nice weekend.
Rosemary: We did. He only just passed out. Insisted on staying up long past his bedtime to see your match. I think you have a real fan.
Zoran Sainovic: Well I couldn’t have done it without him. Your son was a great help.
Rosemary: He had a really good time, thank you for taking him.
[Zoran seems to want to say something, but stops himself. An awkward silence follows.]
Rosemary: ...Well I shouldn’t monopolize you, I know how many people are there celebrating. I just wanted you to know how proud we are.
Zoran Sainovic: Zanks again Rose... zat’s very kind of you to say.
Rosemary: Goodnight Mr. Sainovic...
Zoran Sainovic: Zoran.
Rosemary: Goodnight Zoran.
Zoran Sainovic: Goodnight Rose.
[Placing the phone back on the counter, Zoran looks down at the strap. He’s going to have to customize a new one.]
Zoran Sainovic: I can do zis...
Zoran Sainovic <giving up on his potentially happy ending, looks up at the bartender in a cold sweat>: If I can find a way to ze Warforged dimension, no one will be able to follow me! I’ll have zis belt and a lot of money forever!
[The bartender removes the next shot from the counter in front of Zoran.]
Bartender: Alternate dimensions mean you’re cut off.
[Cut off?! Outrageous! Those are fighting words! Zoran jumps off his stool to assume a tiger stance, only to slump back down. His legs have turned against him! Et tu legs?]
Zoran Sainovic <just muttering but it sounds like>: Fight me for it!
Bartender: Put the belt on the line and you got yourself a deal!
Zoran Sainovic: Try and stop me!
[This is how he became the shortest reigning SWAT International champion. As Zoran stabs the bartender in the cheek with a cocktail umbrella, we fade to black. What a cliffhanger...]
[Life begins at 40.]
[...At least it does for the X*Crown.]
[With the 40th champion, the belt has never glistened brighter. Could this change in course lead to a new golden age for the XHF, drawing the unique talents of SWAT closer to the network for fresh and exciting encounters...]
Zoran Sainovic <slurring words>: Ssscrew SWAT...
[Highly unlikely. If the good people at the XHF had spoken to SWAT, they would have warned them. Zoran Sainovic is subhuman trash. He does not represent SWAT. He might have name dropped the company as part of a long con, but Zoran is only out for himself.]
Zoran Sainovic: Who neeeeds ‘m.
[At the moment, Zoran is very much by himself. Sitting at the counter of a fairly dingy dive bar, Zoran Sainovic is celebrating his momentous win alone. The man who called Maverick a sad champion is currently trying to bad mouth his employers to a bartender who in turn is desperately trying to look busy. Sucking down another shot, Zoran slumps back on his stool with gut outstretched to display his championship. He might be trolling for compliments, but the other reprobates are keeping to themselves.]
Zoran Sainovic: Zey want m’ job... but whose holding all ze ...cards... now. Bastards didn’t even congratulate me...
[His phone starts to vibrate, Zoran squints to make out the number. Who does he know from India? ...Or is it a local number, and he’s just seeing double. Eureka!]
Zoran Sainovic <raising phone with a smile>: I knew zey wouldn’t for’gut ‘bout m’... <pointing at number> Alan from accounting is good people. <answering phone> Who’s ze man?
Alan from Accounting: Tom Zenk? Good work on the title win, Mr. Sainovic.
Zoran Sainovic: Zanks Al.
Alan from Accounting: We were, however, surprised that we didn’t see your big celebration afterwards. The cars, the celebrities, the pop musicians... everything you’ve been slashing the budget to fund.
Zoran Sainovic <wide eyed>: Well let me assure you... <long pause> I was planning to win, so I _definitely_ spent all zat money I saved... um... on fireworks. Zey must have cut ze feed before ze real show started. Zat sucks that you missed it, pal.
Alan from Accounting: We will need recipes for all the exp-
Zoran Sainovic <yelling in background>: Oh my god are you the X*Crown champion! <throwing voice> You’re the best! <imitating Death Trap’s Mom> Make love to me Zoran! <back to the phone but still using his DT Mom voice because he is hella drunk> Sorry Al, got to go!
Alan from Accounting: No worries Mrs. Trap, we just-
[Zoran hangs up the phone. He looks like he’s going to throw up...]
Zoran Sainovic: Do I get zanks for making zem look good? Accusations against my character. Screw SWAT... why with zis strap I can go anywhere I want.
Bartender <cleaning glass>: AWF will probably just want to beat the ever loving crap out of you to reclaim it quickly, rather than offer you a gig.
Zoran Sainovic <throwing his phone on the counter>: I have friends in GCW/RSW management... all it takes is one phone call to my Riot Star boys, and they’ll happily set me up with a cushy job. I can be THEIR champion.
Bartender: You didn’t hear?
[...]
Zoran Sainovic <swaying as he tries to keep from passing out>: Hear what?
[That sounds like ominous news, but before the other shoe can drop on the X*Crown holder’s planned betrayal - his phone rings again.]
Zoran Sainovic <answers it without checking>: I DIDN’T EMBEZZLE ZAT MONEY!!!!!!!
Rosemary <voice>: Mister Sainovic? I can barely hear you - that must be some wild party! I know you’re busy with all the celebrating, and I am very sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to say congratulations. After all your hard work, you deserve it!
Zoran Sainovic <turning his back to the bartender>: Zanks Rose... <looking around at the dump he’s found himself in> its too bad you couldn’t come out to join us. Everyone missed you.
Rosemary: Thanks Mr. Sainovic - but it’s my weekend with Oliver.
Zoran Sainovic: He would have been welcome too, but I understand it’s a school night. Well I hope you two had a nice weekend.
Rosemary: We did. He only just passed out. Insisted on staying up long past his bedtime to see your match. I think you have a real fan.
Zoran Sainovic: Well I couldn’t have done it without him. Your son was a great help.
Rosemary: He had a really good time, thank you for taking him.
[Zoran seems to want to say something, but stops himself. An awkward silence follows.]
Rosemary: ...Well I shouldn’t monopolize you, I know how many people are there celebrating. I just wanted you to know how proud we are.
Zoran Sainovic: Zanks again Rose... zat’s very kind of you to say.
Rosemary: Goodnight Mr. Sainovic...
Zoran Sainovic: Zoran.
Rosemary: Goodnight Zoran.
Zoran Sainovic: Goodnight Rose.
[Placing the phone back on the counter, Zoran looks down at the strap. He’s going to have to customize a new one.]
Zoran Sainovic: I can do zis...
Zoran Sainovic <giving up on his potentially happy ending, looks up at the bartender in a cold sweat>: If I can find a way to ze Warforged dimension, no one will be able to follow me! I’ll have zis belt and a lot of money forever!
[The bartender removes the next shot from the counter in front of Zoran.]
Bartender: Alternate dimensions mean you’re cut off.
[Cut off?! Outrageous! Those are fighting words! Zoran jumps off his stool to assume a tiger stance, only to slump back down. His legs have turned against him! Et tu legs?]
Zoran Sainovic <just muttering but it sounds like>: Fight me for it!
Bartender: Put the belt on the line and you got yourself a deal!
Zoran Sainovic: Try and stop me!
[This is how he became the shortest reigning SWAT International champion. As Zoran stabs the bartender in the cheek with a cocktail umbrella, we fade to black. What a cliffhanger...]
[Life begins at 40.]