Battleground 23 : Love Hurts (Show)

[SWAT Team]

Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition and the XHF presents ....

Coming to you LIVE from AccorHotels Arena , Paris France.

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome! Welcome to The City of Love, PARIS! Welcome to Battleground! WELCOME TO SWAT!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Mecri Jerrard.

Jeremy Tucker : You speak French now?

Andrew Fulton : We.

Jeremy Tucker : Please. What else do you speak?

Andrew Fulton : Ooooh La La.

Jeremy Tucker : Ok. We have a huge show coming up for you folks, both the SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSIP and THE XHF X CROWN CHAMPIONSHIP on the line!

Andrew Fulton : I still can’t believe Tarrasque won the Royal Rumble!

Jeremy Tucker : Believe IT! He is in career best form, and a HUGE chance to take the gold from "Monsieur Dropkick".

Andrew Fulton : The Pupil meets the Teacher. Jonnie has forgotten more about wrestling than Tarrasque has forgotten about his family.

Jeremy Tucker : Zoran is meeting up with Frostbite tonight, and folks, we have a treat to open the show tonight, because as you can see in the ring, SUITS SUITE is coming to us RIGHT NOW! Take it away Suit!

Andrew Fulton : When am i going to be a guest on this show?

Jeremy Tucker : When you win the X Crown Fulton.

Andrew Fulton : I had him on my show for his SHOOT!

Jeremy Tucker : (ignoring Fulton) Take it away Suit!

We switch the ring and the Suite is set up and not only in there is The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, but the XHF X CROWN Champ himself, Zoran Sainovic.

Soutter: Welcome Zoran. We haven’t spoke in awhile, but it seems like congratulations are in order. Looks like your interim commissioner status is continuing, you won the X*Crown, got past Matei. Hell the only thing that didn’t go your way was Pesci, and I have to congratulate you on that too.

Zoran Sainovic: I was not displeased with ze outcome of zat exchange.

Soutter: Nah, him not being around to keep things in check seems to have done wonders for you.

Zoran Sainovic: I am not complaining.

Soutter: First question, you promised the fans that tonight we would see Radu Matei versus Timeless, Hell in a Cell... yet it doesn’t seem to be on the line-up. If you want to continue to be SWAT’s acting commissioner, it makes sense to deliver on the big matches you promise.

Zoran Sainovic: Zanks for ze tip. Having already put together a line-up zat makes Syberus’ greatest show Battleground look like ze inane hyperbole of a child, it made little sense to hand ze SWAT fans our biggest grudge match when it would only end up buried in ze midcard. Zere is also ze little problem of Radu Matei’s participation. Last time I saw him, Matei was sinking into zat river of raw sewage known as ze Hudson. As far as I’m concerned I flushed zat piece of shit. Oh, I may not have gotten ze pinfall in my first XHF X*Crown defence, but as a consolation prize I did end zat smug son of a bitch’s career!

*monster boos*

Zoran Sainovic: I hope all you Radu Matei fans tuned into No Man’s Land... pretty certain its ze last time you ever see zat rotting corpse. I’m sure he’s host to a hell of a lot more insects as a water logged cadaver! <rage flashing in eyes> You all zought I was a pencil pusher... zat I only won ze X*Crown because Pesci didn’t send Psychotic Goth, Lucky Linda, Johnny Valentine or Suzi Spitz.

SWAT is ze greatest and any member of ze roster could do it! Right? RIGHT? Wrong!

We had a handful of wrestlers from other XHF satellites in ze rumble - and zey kicked SWAT’s asses! Ze only reason Cafferty didn’t take it was Tarrasque getting an incredibly lucky draw! I know, <chuckle> I dropped in.

<slapping the X*Crown> I won zis belt because I am ZE BEST ZAT ZE XHF HAS TO OFFER. It’s about time zat ze ungrateful SWAT fan base rubbed zeir two IQ points together and got with ze program. As long as I’m slumming it in Syndicate Wrestling, you fucktards should get down on your hands and knees, zanking your lucky stars zat ze best wrestling mind in ZIS world is not only ZE champion, but booking your shows. As far as my image as accountant is concerned, I went TOE to TOE with ze Dixie Beast... ze monster zat has held zis federation in a stranglehold since his arrival... and not only did I successfully defend my belt against your sacrificial idol, I took ze best he had to offer... I survived. <sadistic smirk> He didn’t.

You can add Radu Matei’s name to ze long list of dead weight zat won’t be darkening SWAT’s doorstep again. I saw to zat. Beelzebozo, DRAMA, Hell’s Bouncer, Duke Kosloff, Avery McCullen, Brian Acres - it’s a new year. A better year. Cut ze fat! If Matei ever finds a way to come back from No Man’s Land, he’ll have zat Timeless cell match to look forwards to, but personally, I don’t zink ze broken shell I left behind has what it takes.

Soutter: And what are your plans for the X*Crown? I understand that SWAT is hosting it until the next XHF event in April?

Zoran Sainovic: A Rumble. Not ze best scenario for a champion to retain in, <shit eating grin> just ask Syberus. So I will be defending against inferior competition between now and zen. I was originally livid when ze enhancement talent picked a fight with me, but having all zese potential challengers in Rajiv Khan and TJ Souza? I could practically kiss zose helpless buffoons! Not just a cake walk, but ze pastry literally bringing me a fork? Delicious!

While hedging my bets - I still want everyone to know zat ze X*Crown is ze best championship. It represents 4000 different titles, absorbed from many XHF federations. When I one day relinquish ze X*Crown, no doubt because I have died of old age, I want my legacy to live on. So I shall be adding a SWAT championship to its illustrious collection. Ze federation is too big to take ze World, Amazon, or Hardcore championships out of circulation but ze PanAm? Or perhaps I’ll just invite one of ze former regional champions to come in and put me over. Sly Fondell, Adrian Tanner, Dan Stein, Frank Wilkes... I could easily take ze Caribbean or Australia strap and add it to MY pile!

Hell, if I hadn’t fired Beelzebozo, ze Atlantic Coast tin would be in zis Crown.

Soutter <clearly uncomfortable with Sainovic’s disrespectful schemes to SWAT history>: Sounds like you got a lot of ideas, Zoran, but aren’t you looking past Frostbite?

Zoran Sainovic: Frostbite? Isn’t he going to play ball? I made zis a blanket fort match as a sign of good faith.

Soutter: That had me scratching my head. What exactly is a blanket fort match?

Zoran Sainovic: We have ze ring dressed up in sheets, pillows, couch cushions - high thread count, SWAT spared no expense - and ze X*Crown hidden somewhere in ze Fort Knox of fabrics. I don’t know where ze production assistants hid it <big wink>, me and ‘Bite go to town searching zrough, and ze first one to retrieve ze strap is ze new champion. ‘Bite can stand in ze corner searching zrow pillows zat litter ze steel steps to add dramatic tension.

We don’t even come to blows. Wouldn’t want to rough him up for doing ze right thing, I’m good management zat way.

Soutter: Right thing? Knowing Frostbite the way I do, I think he’d rather throw down with you and make a real run for the Crown.

Zoran Sainovic <brow furrows>: Look. I know I was more a Pesci associate zan a member of the KGB, and Timeless is ze only member of your camp I have a strong working relationship with, but I zought we had an understanding?

Soutter <icy>: And what would that be?

Zoran Sainovic <how dumb are you that I have to spell this out look>: Frostbite takes a dive, and I continue to show your goons preferential treatment.

Soutter <flinch>: The Bandits might be a lot of things... but I would never order one of my boys to lay down!

*The crowd pop hard, not because they like Frostbite, but they do respect Soutter’s stance on sportsmanship*

Zoran Sainovic: You might want to zink long and hard before you get on my bad side.

Soutter: You have a good side? Zoran, you might want to offer that deal to the New Breed, ‘cause the Bandits don’t need preferential treatment.

Zoran Sainovic: You REALLY want to push zis? It’s not like your giving up much. Frostbite doesn’t exactly have ze best track record in title shots!

Soutter: THE ONLY REASON THAT FROSTY ISN’T WORLD CHAMP IS THAT I SPENT LAST YEAR MAKING HIS LIFE HELL. THAT’S OLD BUSINESS! THIS IS NEW! THERE ARE NO DISTRACTIONS! YOU PUT ON A MATCH THINKING FROSTBITE WOULD LET YOU WIN? TONIGHT HE WILL TAKE YOUR CROWN, AND LEAVE YOU IN SUCH BAD SHAPE YOU WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO TAKE IT OUT ON THE BANDITS!!!

*The crowd pops hard again. They hate the KGB, but appreciate Soutter standing up for his crew*

Zoran Sainovic <spitting mad>: You zink your doing ‘Bite a favour? Zink again! Zis match will be his END! He dares to put up a fight against ME? ME!? He tries anything, and zat stupid bastard will meet ZE PAIN.

I called it a Blanket Fort DEATH Match for a reason...

With friends like you, Paul, Frostbite doesn’t need enemies.

[Placing the X*Crown strap over his shoulder, Zoran shoots Soutter a dirty look before turning to leave. The Big Bad Bandit looks ready to throttle SWAT’s acting commissioner. The more things change.]

Soutter: There’s still the little question of a missing two million dollars....

Zoran sainovic <still walking>: Paul, if you were good with numbers - you’d still be ze owner.

[Soutter stares daggers at Zoran as he bee lines it to the back]

Jeremy Tucker : Wowee! How about that?

Andrew Fulton : Zoran didn’t mean to upset the Founder.

Jeremy Tucker : I think he just screwed HIMSELF Fulton!

Andrew Fulton : I ..... I don’t know what to think.

Jeremy Tucker : We’ll be right back folks with some words from SWAT’s finest!
[/i][/div][/div]

[thecomedian]

[Fade in to Rally Jackson backstage.  He has found catering before they have a chance to clear out when they heard him coming; stomping down the hall.  He is savaging some fetuccini alfredo.]

Rally Jackson:  Carb loading.

[Some of it falls off his mouth to the floor.  A little bit stops at his gut and starts hanging off his stomach.]

Rally Jackson:  I don't believe in the five second rule.  I will sample a gorgeous exotic dancer's excrements, but I will not eat off the floor.

::clears his mouth::

Love hurts Travis Daniels.  From what I hear, you have been going through a few marital problems.  Having a hard time getting visitation with your daughter.  

I can relate.

I've lost count how many illegitimate children I have from working women and none of them let me see them.  Oh you better believe they make sure they get their child support though.  Frankly, I blame Cardi B.

How does one even fight for visitation though?  Take them to court?  I don't even know their real names.  I know them all by Cookie and Mercedes and Licorice.

Man at Catering:  ::refilling the pasta as he says this::  How do they get child support then?  Wouldn't you know the names of people you are legally required to give money to?

Rally Jackson:  Quiet you.  We don't need you interrupting with your logic and common sense.  Go make yourself useful by getting more of those blondie brownies.

Anyway Travis, if the ex Mrs. Daniels needs someone to step in and be the man of the house she knows where to find me.  Dad bods are in these days.

Man at Catering:  Whose dad are you, Jabba the Hut?

Rally Jackson:  Seriously dickhead, those brownies?

Sorry about that Travis.  Anywho I'll raise your kid for you.  You had a good run of it now it's my turn.  Women, they are a lot more desperate second time around.  I'm sure you were a perfect gentleman but shit just did not work out.  Now I can just step in, provide for her with the money earned from kicking the crap out of you, and be the man that binge watches Tiny Houses with the divorcee as she cooks me some pulled pork nachos.

<A few wrestlers enter catering.  Rally elbows them out of the way.  He is not finished.>

Rally Jackson:  I'm half kidding Trav.  I mean sure, I'll bed her if she lets me but I would feel obligated to compensate her when it's over.  Force of habit I guess.  

And honestly, she would really probably hate it when I started hanging around the doorway when she's taking a....

Man at Catering:  Crabcakes, we got fresh crabcakes!

Rally Jackson:  Put one or five aside for me, I'm almost done.

I'm pretty much balling now.  After finishing twentieth place in the battle royal I am making serious bank.  I would ordinarily take my earnings with me to Pahrump, Nevada, but I think I'm going to do the mature thing and invest this time.  Or save.  Or whatever it is adults do.  You can't do this wrestling jazz forever.

And that's where you come in.  You're that next step for me in that late stage retirement down the road.  A couple victories over some schmucks like you.  You who thinks you're a veteran at 33.  Mothafucka when I was 33, Sock Foley was handing me every title he could in the Hardkore Great White North.  Including tag team champion.  He made me tag team champion and not in like a storyline way, he just pretended the tag titles was a singles title for a while.  You got a way to go my man.  You're no vet.  You come talk to me when you compete in a battle royal AND have a meeting with your AARP contact in the same day.  You're just a kid.  Baby, all I have to do is sit on you to beat you.

But that requires too much effort.

Instead...

Instead I think I'll just pop your knee.

[Fade.]

[vastrix]

At a shopping mall’s food court. Tarrasque and Marcus Anderson sit at a table. Marcus has a Subway sandwich while Tarrasque works on two different buckets of boneless wings.

Anderson: How good was Jonnie Valentine as a wrestler back in the day?

Tarrasque pops a spicy boneless chicken wing in his mouth, but speaks around the mouthful of food. He shrugs.

Tarrasque: Me no know. Him was boss, not wrestler then. Him wrestle before. Me guess him good.

Anderson: They say he’s forgotten more about wrestling than you’ll ever know. How true do you think that is?

Tarrasque: Me know a lot about wrestling, but maybe him know more. But me am strong! Me win match.

Marcus nods, taking a bite of his sandwich. He sets the food down as a man in a sorcerer's robe walks up to the table and seats himself down. He unhoods himself to reveal short black hair and a villainous goatee.

Xian Tsar of the Black Guard. The Warhammer Corporation’s lead recruiter. Xian Tsar. The man who led the strike upon a young Tarrasque’s home to collect him for the Warhammer Corporation’s Super Soldier program when he was twelve years old.

He grins as he looks from Marcus to Tarrasque, his eyes black as night.

Tsar: So, you are looking to recruit for your company, eh? Who do you want?

Anderson: I don’t want anyone.

Xian Tsar narrows his eyes, watching Tarrasque eating away. He looks to Marcus.

Tsar: Why do you want me then? I do collection work. Unless you want someone dead. Do you, Anderson? Do you want someone dead?

Anderson: We want a name.

Xian Tsar looks taken aback by this.

Tsar: “We”? We want a name? You mean this slavering beast wants something other than his next morsel of food or who to crush next?

Tarrasque pounds on the table, making everything on it jump.

Tarrasque: Me want name!

Tsar: Whose name do you want? I don’t quite follow.

Anderson: We want Tarrasque’s real name. You did the job to get him in the first place. I would imagine that you kept records of everyone you “recruited”. Who is Tarrasque, really. What is his name?

Xian Tsar looks from Marcus to the now hopeful looking Tarrasque.

Tsar: You think I have records or memories of a job that I pulled back in the eighties? I don’t keep trophies of every family I’ve destroyed. You think that Tarrasque was the only child I took during the eighties? He was one of a hundred. You think I know the names of everyone I took? No.

Anderson: Only two survived the process and Tarrasque killed the other one in the Akira Dome. I’m sure you kept the name of the only surviving living weapon. Who is he? Answer me!

Xian Tsar places a hand on the table, lightning arcing between his fingers as he displays a cruel smile.

Tsar: I think you should let old questions rest, or else. I’ll be lea-

Xian Tsar flies backwards to the floor with the seat, boneless chicken wings flying everywhere as Tarrasque hits him with a bucket of chicken. Tarrasque flips the table to the side, leaping at Xian Tsar to grab him by the front of his robes with both hands in a rage.

Tarrasque: You give name. NOW!

Anderson: The fuck? Tarrasque! No!

Tarrasque flies up into the air and nearly ten feet back, crashing through another table covered in the food of a small family, a thunderclap booms through the food court. Xian Tsar stands up, but has to go on the defensive to block incoming punches from Marcus Anderson. Xian catches a fist with a sneer, sending electricity through Marcus’ body to send him crumpling to the floor.

Tsar: I said or else. Now, Tarras-

Tarrasque spears Xian Tsar to the floor and begins wailing on him with lefts and rights. An explosion of light sends Tarrasque flying into the front of the Subway where he cracks the glass covering the ingredients. Xian Tsar stands up, wiping blood from his nose and mouth, angry now. He walks over to Tarrasque, sending out a stream of lightning with his right hand to pin Tarrasque down.

Tsar: I never understood why they let you live. A failed super soldier experiment. They should have killed you and fed your corpse to the beasts that lurk in Twilight.

Tarrasque tries to stand up, but falls back down to one knee. Xian Tsar laughs, keeping the stream of power aimed at the beast.

Tsar: What are you now? Hmm? Not the strongest. Not the best. Not even mediocre.

Tarrasque lets out a roar, standing up as the lightning leaves burn marks on his now bare chest, the shirt having been burned away. Xian Tsar’s eyes go wide, he points his left hand at Tarrasque, sending the power of lightning from both hands to bring Tarrasque back down to his knees. Xian grins madly as blood trickles from his nose across his bared teeth.

Tsar: Who is strong now? Hmm, beast? Who is strong now?

Tarrasque grits his teeth, blood flowing from his mouth from where he bit his tongue.

Tarrasque: Me.

Tsar: What’s that? I can’t hear you. Who is strong now?

Tarrasque: Me am.

Tarrasque slowly stands up and takes halting step after halting step toward Xian Tsar, the Emperor Palapatinesque attack upon him having less and less of an effect. Xian Tsar begins to look panicked.

Tsar: You. Will. Die.

Xian Tsar begins to mouth the words to channel the magic to kill Tarrasque when Marcus Anderson breaks a chair across his back to stun him. The magic stops as Xian Tsar stumbles forward right into Tarrasque’s grasp, who seizes him by the throat and lifts him into the air.

Anderson: I’m sure you have records of every single soul that you took over the years, Xian. All we’re asking for is the one name. What is Tarrasque’s real name?

Xian Tsar chokes, trying to speak. Marcus sighs and puts a hand on Tarrasque’s shoulder.

Anderson: Let him down and let him go so he can speak, Tarrasque.

Tarrasque grunts as he lets Xian Tsar down. Xian clutches at his throat, trying to regain his breath.

Tsar: The name. Tarrasque’s name. It’s...PRAETERVOLO!

Xian Tsar shines brightly and vanishes with a thunderclap. Tarrasque blinks, looking to Marcus.

Tarrasque: Where him go? Me name Prartervolgo?

Anderson: My best guess is that he managed to teleport away. Your name is not whatever he said there. That was his escape. We won’t catch him unawares again. We really need D.

Tarrasque sighs.

Tarrasque: One of him officers maybe know. We get them say me name.

Anderson: We need to work quickly before Xian Tsar can warn his people. I’ll research who was around during that time to see who to get.

Tarrasque: Policemen.

Marcus whips his head around to see several police officers with their weapons out and trained on Tarrasque.

Anderson: Hold up! I can explain everything!

[eddied]

(Cave by Muse hits over the PA system. Eddie D steps out from the backstage stretching out his shoulder muscles, flexes his biceps; that bulge beneath his coat impressively and starts to pace slowly down the ramp.

He takes a big sweeping look around the crowd with a look of disdain and disapproval.

Eddie is wearing a long black duster jacket and has a baseball bat resting on his shoulder.

A montage video plays on the screens of him weight training and hitting his favourite moves on people, flashing up in negative to the beat of the music as he walks down to ringside.

“The Big Deal” in huge letters and The SWAT logo flashes on and off recurrently. The footage of Eddie delivering a Powerbomb on Timeless during the Royal Rumble at No Mans Land and a stunner on Rajiv Khan from New Year’s Nightmare flashes up as Eddie reaches the ringside.

Eddie snatches a mic. from the commentary table. Eddie bounds to the top of the ring steps and holds his hands open for applause and gets a mixed reaction.

Eddie steps through the ropes and looks out to the crowd.)



EDDIE: SWAT comes to Paris France.
Not Paris Tennessee with their fake Eifel Tower, Not Paris Ontario tripping over cunucks wherever you tread,…
No, it’s Paris, France and it’s a pleasure to be here.
Romance isn’t dead folks, it’s just on a sabbatical on the pavement cafes and restaurants of this great city.

(The crowd pop but there’s a wariness because they know Eddie’s reputation for antagonizing a crowd.) 

EDDIE: It’s Battleground, It’s SWAT; it’s Love Hurts 2020.

Love Hurts? …yeah it does. Valentine’s Day? Where creeps get to freak out the person they’re stalking with an anonymous card, with a symbolic severed heart on it and everyone just accepts it.

Love hurts, but the truth hurts more. And sometimes you need a loving outsider to set you straight.
Prepare to be killed with kindness folks.
You need to know not to buy into your own bullshit. It’s OK to sell a tourist sucker a bauble, but never convince yourself you’re better than you really are.

The Eifel Tower? A tragic waste of damned meccano.

The Seine? The only open sewer the world finds romantic.

SWAT Battleground deeming you worthy of hosting an event is the best thing to happen to this dump since Pepé Le Pew was a cartoonist’s drunken doodle.

I am telling ya, SWAT on tour just improved this place 1000 fold, but from your faces I am not feeling the appreciation that deserves.

SWAT is huge, with a huge following and we’re only getting bigger and better. The last time this many Americans were coming to Paris it was to liberate the place.

My grandpa saved your arses in The War; you’re welcome by the way you ungrateful bastards.

As a kid in California I asked my grandpa what he thought of the French people. He said:


“I came, I saw, and I conquered.

Veni vidi vici

Whereas; The French came, They saw the Germans arrive, and the French collaborated.

Veni vidi VICHY”


(The crowd boo intensely and throw litter at the ring.)

EDDIE: …Hey!? It was a war vet that said it. Don't shoot the messenger... Then Grandpa would say something about garlic munching surrender monkeys or something racist, I can’t remember, don’t judge him he was from a different generation…

Let’s not dwell on the distant past. Let’s focus on the last PPV instead.

Mr Bones and Syberus have been bleating with management backstage and that’s why we have a 3-way dance tonight. I should’ve been walking out on the ramp with the International Title tonight draped over my shoulder, but I would rather win the gold on merit in a straight up fight than by forensic analysis of the footage.

I already got my hands on Syberus at No Man’s Land. Syberus talks a good game, but when we finally met, our only interaction was me eliminating his arse. I had fought half the roster and was still standing when the fresh faced Syberus took a tumble thanks to yours truly. The footage clearly shows that I eliminated Syberus; Mr Bones merely caressed Syberus’ thigh as I hoisted ‘the champ’ up and dumped him out of there.

I already got my hands on Mr Bones too and we fought toe to toe in the Royal Rumble. The guy throws an adequate punch and takes a mean punch too, but he don’t impress me that much. One on one I can take that guy and win 8 times out of 10. That’s me being humble. It doesn’t suit me does it? You mark my words I will be walking out of here as your NEW INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION.

The trouble is too few people ARE marking my words. Scanning over me like a forum thread on a fansite.
The thing is, I am not only a big deal around here now. I am THE Big Deal around here now.
I have won titles before. I will win them again. The sooner the fans show me the respect I deserve the better.

I can see that I haven’t won you over yet so let me reach into my High School level French and throw one last attempt to get into your good graces.

(Eddie pulls out a scrap of paper from his coat pocket and reads…)

EDDIE:
Mon grand-père a sauvé votre pays il y a plus de soixante-quinze ans. (Translation: My Grandfather saved your country over 75 years ago.)

Alors, laisse-moi être ton héros ce soir (Translation: So, let me be your hero tonight.)

(Eddie’s accent was atrocious. The crowd boo and hurl abuse.)

EDDIE: You know what?! My Grandpa was right.

Paris IS full of ungrateful PARIS-ites.

The only thing that smells worse than your collective BO is your collective dirty stinking attitude.

Mr Bones?… Syberus?... Paris, France!?

BRING… IT …ON!

(Cave by Muse hits over the PA system. Eddie tosses the mic. at the timekeeper’s desk and steps through the ropes and walks slowly and deliberately down the steps as the crowd boo him and he heads up the aisle.

At the bottom of the ramp Eddie snatches a Syberus poster from a young fan and grabs a sharpie from his pocket. Eddie crosses out '110%' and scribbles “ZERO %”, signs it with his autograph and hands it back to the unhappy kid. Eddie shouts “Sell it on ebay; it’ll be worth something now.”

Eddie chuckles as he heads up the ramp and into the backstage.)

[frostbite]

Back in the locker room..

The rose colored walls are shown by our top notch SWAT camera crew, the smell of so much body order would knock out Mike Tyson in his prime. The brown lockers are wide open, hell some are even on the floor. Our crew zoom down onto the cold, hard and tan colored floor, but what really catches are eye is someone is laying down on the floor with their head resting softly on a feather pillow and a blue blanket tuck underneath them rather highly as they are snug in there. There back is toward the camera. But who in their right mind who sleep on this hard floor. However we appear to have disturb this person as they turn toward the camera, all we can see is the their short blonde hair but nothing else. They straight out there arms as they slowly push back the blue blanket. They sit up but there eyes are still closed as they continue to stretch. This person is wearing a red and black KGB tee shirt with red and black tights and black boots. They jump to their feet still with their eyes closed, but they begin to open them as the camera zooms in on the intense look in their blue eyes.

A MIXED REACTION FROM THE CROWD......

It is none other than Frostbite. He leans up against the locker, as he looks down at the pillow and blanket on the floor. He reaches down to pick up both the pillow and blanket, but in the meantime, he hears the locker room door open. We see a gentleman wearing a SWAT blue and white tee shirt with tan slacks.

Jeremy Tucker.. Ah I see Warren Weber is trying to get in some words with Frostbite.

Andrew Fulton.. I hope Frostbite shoves him in one of those lockers.

Warren looks at the pillow and blanket laying across the bench.

Warren Webber.. Frostbite what is with the pillow and blanket?

Frostbite.. I am sure you know by now I have a match what is it called.. Ah a blanket Fort Death Match. I thought I would get myself accustomed to what I will use later on in tonight main event.

Warren Webber.. If you say so.

Frostbite.. It will become a match of the year candidate, I promise you that.

Warren Webber.. Do you know what this match really? I must be honest, I do not know myself.

Frostbite.. Do not feel bad, I am in the damn match and I know nothing about it. Sounds like a pillow fight, I am guessing. I know how commish as me at a disadvantage because he has been involved in one. So my back is against the wall.

Warren Webber.. I guess you could say that. Do you have a game plan? How do you prepare for this?

Frostbite laughs...

Frostbite.. Well the best thing I can do is simply, follow the commish lead and maybe pick it up as I go along, it is not the best idea but it is the only one I got.

He reaches down and picks up the pillow.

Frostbite.. I guess I will take this pillow right here..

He looks at it and then back to the camera as the intense look in his blue eyes.

Frostbite.. I am going to take this pillow and the feathers inside and shove it right down Zoran throat. For the love of God, what in the hell is wrong with the world. Our commish comes up with this fucking match. What is this business coming to? I have not had a pillow fight since I was 6 years old and now I am getting into the ring a grown ass man having one tonight for the X crown.

Warren Webber.. It is called a Blanket Fort Death Match.

Frostbite.. Okay whatever you need to call it. Neither of us have to lay a finger on the other we can beat each other with these two items, and the title is hidden at least that is to my understanding. This is as bad as the ladies having a mud pit match.

Andrew Fulton.. I would like to see that.

Frostbite.. You must excuse me, Warren, but did you understand a word Zoran said. I know my French might be a little rusty but I had a hard time understanding anything he said. Maybe Zoran needs to take an English class. But I can some of what he was saying. For the record what in the hell is a name Zoran anyway. Was that not some cartoon done back in the early nineties.

Warren Webber.. I believe you mean Voltron.

Frostbite.. Ah you are right, my sister was a big fan of that cartoon.

He reaches down to pick up the blanket.

Frostbite.. I do find the humor in that our commish is looking out for my best interest by having this match. I would like to say thank you.

He turns around and rips up the blanket right in front of the camera.

Frostbite.. Zoran is certainly on a roll. The commish around here and The current X crown champ life has been good for him, but you know all good things come an end. Zoran you think I should take a dive for you and just move on down the road. Dude, you do not know my track record do you. Everywhere have been in this sport I always pissed off management so why are and different. Come on, Paul beat the hell out of each other for almost an year and in your warped mind I am going to take a dive.

Frostbite tosses the pillow across the locker room.

Frostbite.. I just do not get it. What is wrong with champions around here. Team Fairtex are the only champions that take there titkes seriously. Syberus has made the international title and I believe that is what we are calling it today, I am sure tomorrow it will be something else. Johnnie Valentine has made the world title out to be a joke as well and now Zoran is doing the same thing with the X crown. Zoran, I am sure you are enjoying this and you feel you can phone it in. You do not understand what you have just walked right into do You? Zoran you are right, I will not take a dive for you. Nope, I am going to make your life hell.

Frostbite reaches down and picks up a few pieces of the blanket.

Frostbite.. Zoran I am going to take whatever blanket or bed sheet and wrap it around your neck until I choke the life out of you. I might tie you up to the ring post and grab me a chair and best your ass until I see a pool of your blood all over the floor. Maybe this is how you win this match.

Frostbite shakes his head.

Frostbite.. But I will say this, you are right about one thing. My track record has not been great when it comes to title match. I am 0 for since I return to SWAT. Paul is right my focus was to try and burn this company to the ground. But the focus has changed and I have my sights set on the X crown. It had been almost three long years since I have been the top dog anywhere. There is not a day that does not go by where I get more pissed off because I know that I can still get the job done. Recently Zoran I wish came true I walked right into another company and became an 18 time World Champion, so I know it is still there. Tonight, you are going to understand that the fire is still burning and I want more. It will never been enough for me until I ever damn thing that I am due,

Our camera zooms across the room to see the pillow on the floor and then right back at Frostbite.

Frostbite.. I understand the X crown is on loan from the federation, until April. Well I guess just like someone walks into a bank and wants to borrow money for something. I am going to do the same thing. I am going to take a loan and I plan on taking it Zoran out of your ass and win the X crown and then the federation can come and talk to me. Take a dive, make it easy on myself. I guess commish you need to be taught a lesson. Someone said that match is going to be mind blowing. Well be prepared to have your mind blown.

Frostbite walks across the room to pick up the pillow.

Frostbite.. I promise the world that 2020 was going to be one cold year, and it is only beginning. Commish I am sure you will have a witty comeback and you will tell everybody that you have this mstch in the bag. You might have help that I do not know about but this year everybody loves that comeback story well this is my story. You easy day at the office will become a day that you will never forget. X crown is mine.

Warren Webber.. Well..

Frostbite cuts him off.

Frostbite.. Zoran, I will see you in the ring, bitch.. And you can pardon my French.

Frostbite throws the pillow back to the ground as he leaves the locker room.

Jeremy Tucker.. Frostbite appears to be focus.

Andrew Fulton.. It will be a good match but I must agree with Frostbite though I do not know what type of match that he is walking into.

Jeremy Tucker.. I believe our commish has a big advantage here.

Andrew Fulton.. Frostbite is out to prove a point that he can win the big one, and with the KGB in his corner. You can not lose.

Jeremy Tucker.. That remains to be seen. I must give our commish the advantage but we shall see if Frostbite can deliver.

[frostbite]

We see something spinning around over and over again at a very fast pace. As our camera pull back we see a rather large set of hands holding what appears to be a black fidget spinner. Whoever is holding there hands are so big that we are quite surprise they can actually hold it. As the continue to spin it, our camera pull back as we see a tall black haired gentleman wearing a black tee shirt with black jeans and black steel toe boots. The gentleman is just looking at the spinner not paying us any mind. We see the bright red coming from his eyes as it is totally focus on the spinner. However the big man stops playing around with the spinner as he finally sense that we are looking at him. It is Lucifer. He appears to be quite angry with us, as he starts toward us as we are highly concern.

Voice.. Hold on there big man.

We are greatly for whoever interrupted what might have been a beating we were about to suffer. Our camera swing around to another large individual wearing a brown tee shirt with gray sweats and brown boots. The large gentleman had a cell phone in his hands and the phone looks rather small in this guy large hands. It appears he is texting somebody but he has to stop as it appears he might be getting frustrated it appears his fingers are too big for the small keypad.

Voice. DAMN IT.......

He finished up with his text as he looks at us, we see that it is Doomsday.

Doomsday.. Lucifer relax, I know this people are no threat to us, they just want an interview. Where is your spinner at. I thought you were coming quite found of that thing. Did those things die out a couple of years ago.

Lucifer.. I threw it across the room. I got tired of it. Just like I am getting quite tired of us getting beat every single week.

Doomsday.. Big man, I know it is quite hard. We had a goal to win the tag titkes and the closer we get I believe we take 10 steps back.

Lucifer.. We will never get a shot at those tag titkes unless we get some wins, we got to do something.

Doomsday looks at his phone as it is buzzing.

Lucifer.. Who are you texting?

Doomsday.. Your former manager Johnny Psychotic.

Lucifer.. Are you fucking kidding me? We drop that piece of shit a long time ago.

Doomsday.. Actually the man is concern about your recent losing streak, he actually thought about letting things go and bring him back into the fold and maybe he can help us.

Lucifer.. I do not trust the man and you know that. But I agree with are getting desperate. But not that much.

Doomsday.. Maybe we need an extra set of eyes to tell us what is wrong. Because I can not figure out for the life of me why we are not doing any better.

Lucifer.. I agree we should running right through people but we are not doing that.

Doomsday... I wonder if I made the mistake of getting back in the ring with you.

Lucifer.. What in the hell are you saying?

Doomsday.. Think about it. When I decided to step away from in ring competition and decided to manage your singles career, it took off. You won a couple of singles title.

Lucifer.. You are right but your recent failures are not your fault.

Doomsday.. Maybe I should step away and manage who once again. Retire Satan Disciples once and for all or maybe get you another partner.

Lucifer.. Another partner? I think is really going to your head.

Doomaday.. Dude there is a talent locker room we could have you a tag champ with somebody.

Lucifer.. I do not know about that. It takes years for a team to get things in order. It took us awhile to get things in order but once we did.

Doomsday.. But we had Johnny that helped us along the way that extra person. We need to get back to that.

Lucifer.. What in the hell are you saying this is it?

Doomsday.. Hardly my brother. I am going to be your side but in a different capacity. Satan Disciples will be stay alive but we are going to bring this team into the future.

Lucifer.. So is this interview a resume for the rest of SWAT to see who wants to jump on board.

Doomsday.. That is a great idea there big man.

Lucifer.. Hold on is this your last match this six man mstch coming up.

Doomsday drops his head.

Doomsday.. It is big man. But your career is just getting started, we will find you a new partner.

Lucifer.. What about Goth?

Doomsday.. I like the idea, we had success in the past with the man, but Goth does not need us. I will do my due diligence and find you that right partner and we will beat Team Fairtex and win the tag team titles. But tonight we have to finish some business.

Lucifer walks across the room to pick up his spinner as he well spins it as he walks back toward Doomsday.

Doomsday.. A six man tag team match against the Sociey of the New Breed, and we have Goth as out partner. I like the odds.

Lucifer.. This Sociey had caused quite a bit of noise. They have a couple of championships under their belt.

Doomsday.. They have but tonight we stop whatever roll they are on. The three of us will get the job done.

Lucifer.. Marty Donvan has done a lot in this sport and see it all. But I know we can handle him and will.

Doomsday.. This Tuxedo Mask is not a bad wrestler at all, but we will handle him.

Lucifer.. Suzi?

Doomsday.. Suzi is the most talent she will be a handful. But we have Goth, so I say tonight before this old man walks away. I say we show them why we are so dangerous one finally time.

Lucifer.. You are damn right we will.

The two shake hands as we head back to ringside.

Jeremy Tucker.. Did Doomsday say this was his last match?

Andrew Fulton.. Who cares the guy sucked anyway. Who cares? Satan Disciples were never going to win the tag team titles from the KGB, so good bye.

Jeremy Tucker.. It is a shocking announcement and Doomsday is stepping into a manager role.

Andrew Fulton.. And it appears they are looking for a new partner for Lucifer. Nobody is going to take that offer.

Jeremy Tucker.. If you could partner up with a seven foot one monster, you would not jump at the chance. This might be a smart move by these two.

Andrew Fulton.. Nobody is going to team up with those seven foot losers.

[Venom 🕷]

We cut to the backstage entrance door. It swings open and El Combatiente walks in wearing a full black Adidas track suit with a gym bag over his shoulder. He is followed closely by Javier who is dressed to the nines in a brand new grey suit (Conversation is in Spanish but it will be all written in English for the audience). The two walk side by side down the hall and the camera follows along with them.


El Combatiente: I’m not so sure about this.


He says with doubt on his face, we think. (He’s wearing a mask, duh)


Javier: What aren’t you sure of? You’re made for this!


El Combatiente: Am I? It’s been a decade since I’ve wrestled at this high of a level and I’m facing someone I know absolutely nothing about. This person could be a blue chip star, I have no clue. I may have bit off more than I can chew tonight.


Javier: No way. You are the man. Ring rust is just a myth and I have us covered. We’ve got some time before your match and I have all the footage you would ever need of your opponent on my phone. We’ll see everything he can do and be ready.


El Combatiente: You want me to cram in everything about this guy right before our match? Do I look like a 20 something frat boy Javier? I can’t cram for the test, I need to prepare. How will we even watch all of the footage in the little time we have?


Javier: Fast forward.


El Combatiente shakes his head and lets out a sigh. Javier pats his client on the back and continues trying to hype El Combatiente up.


Javier: You may not be 20, you may not be a frat boy, but you are and always had the heart of a champion. I have faith in you.


El Combatiente: I have faith too, and I’m glad you have faith in me, but that doesn’t mean I have doubt. Maybe you’re right, though. Maybe I just need to see the video, get in that ring, and then the muscle memory will take over. I just need to be ready. I need to put this doubt away because right now I’m not ready and I may not stand a chance.



Javier: Just listen to me boss, and I will get you in the right frame of mind. Now lets get in the locker room and get you caught up on your opponent.


El Combatiente nods at his manager and reaches and opens the door they have now reached. The two walk out and we cut away.

[King Syberus]

[ The camera opens on a scene of absolute decadence. Hedonism Bot from Futurama would be proud. ]



[ In the background, animals trot around a field – Zebras, Flamingos, Capybaras... it's unclear whether such animals are supposed to coexist but they do today. ]



[ In the foreground, Syberus. 110% Syberus. Leaning back on a fine chaise longes, his body glistening in the sunlight, once again wearing nothing but a pair of speedos and some ray bans. Around him are not only the bronzed, oiled, tanned gentlemen frolicking in the sun, along with Andreas who's watering some plants, but beautiful women from every continent. Stunning black women from Africa and the Caribbean. Gorgeous blondes from the USA. Indian goddesses from the Punjab. We aren't 110% sure which way Syberus swings but wherever he'd swing it, it'd land in something. ]



[ And he's laughing. ]



[ And why wouldn't he be laughing? ]



[ The SWAT International title belt rests next to Syberus on a mini, but otherwise identical, chaise longes of its' own. Syberus laughs and laughs and laughs, and then comes to a stop. ]



[ Oh no wait, he keeps laughing. ]



110% Syberus: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!



[ Syberus wips away a tear from underneath his shades. ]



110% Syberus: Oohhh life is sweet. Life is fine. When you're 110% Syberus, and you give it 110% in all things, why wouldn't it be? You see ladies and gents, this is what hard work, a can-do attitude, and a fist full of percents will get you.



[ He tips his shades. ]



110% Syberus: Big Fat Eddie. I heard you talking smack. Saying you dumped me over the ropes by yourself, you're the rightful champion, Travis or Trent or whoever the fuck is third wheeling this match didn't have a hand in it.



I'd say you're right, but really I don't give a shit. I told you BEFORE THE MATCH that you could easily beat me in a royal rumble. It takes the most basic offensive capabilities to succeed in that environment, which is why the winner is a lobotomy case of a human being. Brava! Brava! You tumbled me over the rope. It's not my fault that someone else got their grubby hands in the mix and rendered the “Alex Turner is a bitch” clause null and void, otherwise this'd be a return match with YOU defending the belt against ME.



As it is, the championship remains with its' rightful owner. I'm sorry that you'll have to go through the small matter of beating me in wrestling match to be International Champion, rather than just benching me over the ropes in a cluster fuck where I was attacked on my way to the ring anyway.



[ Syberus sips on a fine Chilean Merlot. ]



110% Syberus: Eddie I see you're already hard at it, running down the crowd with the cheapest of shots to generate your heat. What are you afraid of Eddie? Afraid of the blank stares? Afraid of the damning silence? Afraid that no one is going to give a fuck who you are? I mean don't get me wrong, that's a perfectly logical thing to worry about given that they don't, but it doesn't mean you have to sell your self respect down the river with cheap heat.



[ Ronnie the Merch guy pops onto the shot holding a “Brexit Means Brexit” Union Jack t-shirt. ]



Ronnie the Merch guy: Syberus I-



110% Syberus: Not now!



[ He shoos Ronnie away. ]



110% Syberus: I do see potential in you, Eddie. You speak in sentences. That's a start. There's a flicker of intelligence behind your eyes. You aren't the fan-fic tragedy that is Duke Kosloff and you aren't the awkward cringe fest that is the general existence of Anthony Caffrey – and side note to those two, what're you two gonna do by the way, quit the fed because you lost the rumble? Fucking come at me, I'm everything you dream of being in this business.



But they won't Eddie, you know that and I know that. Kosloff and Caffrey are already running back to the safe haven of the AWF to the nice safe space they can be booked onto belts and never have to strive for anything.



But you? You're still here.



That said, Paris comes too soon for you, my man.



You're up against the highest percenter in SWAT only a few weeks after tooting your opening victory against the most obvious jobber in the history of wrestling. I've beaten guys that'd put you in a coma before you had the chance to drop a line about the local sports team.

I'm 110% Syberus. Nine-times Heavyweight Champion of the World. You're a product of a weak era, that's not your fault, but the Society of the New Breed is on hand to explain how this shit works.



Take my hand Eddie.



Walk with me.



And through the torn muscles and broken bones understand what wrestling greatness is all about.

You think anything you've got concerns me? You're a child to me. You're a lost orphan. Someone who got thrown into the deep end of this business without a proper education. But you're lucky! Because unlike Caffrey who's been handed belts and told he's great, you strike me as someone who knows he doesn't know. And that my friend gives you a chance of being International champion one day.



But not today.



This is only lesson one. A chance for you to witness the force of nature that is 110% Syberus defending a championship belt that he's not ready to part with yet...



There's a long road for you to travel before you walk out of a title match against me with the belt on your shoulder and your hand in the air.



But don't worry Eddie.



We'll take these first steps together.



[ Fade. ]

[Jonnie Valentine]

[Open up on Los Angeles Airport, LAX, where "Monsieur Dropkick" Jonnie Valentine, 110% Syberus, Suzi Spitz, "The Golden God" Rally Jackson, Marty Donovan, and Tuxedo Mask show up to the ticket counter. Everyone is carrying bulky carry ons]


"Monsieur Dropkick"Jonnie Valentine: This is going to be a great trip everyone, I'm so stoked. Paris! Ah, gay Paree. This is going to be a great trip. Defending my title against Tarrasque in front of the City of Lights, seeing the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and the Arc de Triomphe. 


Tuxedo Mask: I just want to sit in a cafe, chainsmoke and dread existence. Maybe embroil myself in a complicated sexual relationship with an absolute emotional trainwreck of a woman. There's really no point to France otherwise.


Jonnie Valentine: You see?? This is gonna have something for everyone! I apologize to everyone for getting up so early, but I wanted to beat LA rush hour.  


110% Syberus: On the bright side, Tarrasque can't be any worse than those monsters. 


Tuxedo Mask: Speaking of, why is he happening in Paris? Tarrasque originates from Tarascon; there's a whole annual festival about it.


Jonnie Valentine: Copyright issues.


Tuxedo Mask: Damn commies.


Suzi Spitz: I've never been up this early. The air hurts.   


Jonnie Valentine: Ok, but now we're here, right on time. 


[The Society of the New Breed walk up to the monitor and see LAX to Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle -Delayed]


Suzi Spitz: Oh, fuck off! 


Jonnie Valentine: What?? No, no, no. I have a tight itinerary. I'm going to go talk to someone. 


[Jonnie storms over to the gate agent. He goes to speak, and she puts up one finger]


Gate Agent: Hello, and welcome to Los Angeles International Airport, we're afraid that our non-stop flight to Paris has been delayed due to unforeseen conditions...


[Jonnie tries to interrupt but the gate agent puts her finger up again]


Gate Agent: We apologize for any inconvenience this causes you, and we will let you know immediately any updates on your flight's arrival. 


Jonnie Valentine: Hi, this is embarrassing. I don't know if you know who I am? 


Gate Agent: Mike Enos?


Jonnie Valentine: No, I'm "Monsieur Dropkick" Jonnie Valentine. 


Gate Agent: Did you host a talk show opposite Carson Daly at 1:30 in the morning?  


Jonnie Valentine: Whenever Byron Allen was sick. 


Gate Agent: How can I help you?  


Jonnie Valentine: We really need to get to Paris on time. I have a tandem bicycle tour scheduled for immediately when we land, and those tickets are non-refundable. 


Gate Agent: I'm very sorry, but we're running a little behind schedule today. If you can just have a seat, we will call you when your flight is arriving.


[Jonnie sighs] 


Rally Jackson: What did they say?


Jonnie Valentine: That we're not taking a tandem bike ride through the streets of gay Par-ee.


Rally Jackson: Well, that's a relief. Bike seats exacerbate my hemorrhoids.  Any bad news?


Tuxedo Mask: This is stupid. We should just go to the other France, in Montreal. French Canada is the best Canada! It's like an ocean of gay lumberjacks, but they're not gay, except when they are! 


Jonnie Valentine: Is that a perk? 


Tuxedo Mask: It was for Masi Oka, the Japanese guy in Heroes. 


Rally Jackson: Which part did he like? 


Tuxedo Mask: All of them. It's a Tokyo thing, you wouldn't get it.


Suzi Spitz: If this is how you guys usually travel, remind me to get a bus ticket next time. 


Jonnie Valentine: Let me try something. Syberus?


Syberus: Hmm?


[Jonnie motions for 110% Syberus to follow him over to the gate agent]


Jonnie Valentine: Miss?


Gate Agent: Yes?


Jonnie Valentine: I was hoping you could help me. Did you see that Tom Hanks movie about the guy stuck in the airport?


Gate Agent: I had to watch it during orientation. 


Jonnie Valentine: Perfect. My friend here, he's like Tom Hanks. He's been orphaned by Brexit. He fled the tyrannical rule of Prince Harry and the lady from Suits. 


Gate Agent: You poor dear. 


110% Syberus: Thanks, mum. 


Jonnie Valentine: All he wants to do is travel back to France, to raise an army, to chase him back across the Canadian Sea. Is there anything you can do?


[Cut to Jonnie and 110% Syberus walking back to The Society of the New Breed empty handed, who are all on their devices. Suddenly Marty Donovan runs up ]


Marty Donovan: Guys! I was able to get some seats on another flight. Apparently, alot of them had to be removed because of some coronasomething. But it leaves in 10 minutes and it's in terminal C21! 


Suzi Spitz: Let's go! 


Jonnie Valentine: Wait, where's Rally??


[Cut to Rally Jackson at the Cinnabon counter] 


Rally Jackson: ...And I will have the PecanBon.


Cashier: Will that complete your...


Rally Jackson: ...and I will have a bag of CinnaSweeties.  The small please, I'm watching my figure.


Cashier: Will that...


Rally Jackson: And...


Jonnie Valentine: Rally!! Let's go, I got us a flight out of here! 


Rally Jackson: Ok hang on, I'm almost done. Did you tell them I needed two seats?


Suzi Spitz: Let's go, man! 


[Suzi grabs Rally Jackson and The Society of the New Breed run out of the Cinnabon to make their flight. Cut to them all sitting on a plane as it flies to Paris]


Jonnie Valentine: Phew, just made it. 


Suzi Spitz: (slurring) Bar keep?? Another rum and coke! 


French Stewardess: Excusez-moi, I keep telling you, I am a flight attendant. 


[Stewardess opens a tiny Bacardi bottle and pours it into the plastic cup, then cracks open a can of coke and pours in the rest]  


Suzi Spitz: Gracias!   


French Stewardess: De rien.


110% Syberus: Live it up for now, you've got Tarrasque next week. 


Jonnie Valentine: This is crazy. How was Tarrasque even allowed in the Rumble. He's not a wrestler. We're not going to be exchanging top wristlocks. This guy uses the ring steps for weardown holds. Some deadly chemical usually drops from the ceiling, or I'm gonna have to come up with a reversal for hypodermic needle claw. It was one thing when he was doing it to you guys. But this is me we're talking about!   


110% Syberus: Understood.


[Rally Jackson is watching porn on his phone]


Suzi Spitz: Oh! I know her. 


Rally Jackson: Yea she's the one that hanged herself.  Teachable moment kids, cyberbullying is a serious thing.  Here's what she looks like now. 


[Rally switches the url on his phone to documentingreality.com. Suzi goes back to watching the in flight movie Terminator: Dark Fate] 


Rally Jackson: The implants are surprisingly still intact.


110% Syberus: Ahh, the French... the noisy neighbours so to speak. Love them. Well the women anyway, the guys not so much. 


Jonnie Valentine: You say that about every country, it's a teensy bit xenophobic to be honest. 


110% Syberus:: But doesn't how much I “love” the women offset how I hate the guys? 


Rally Jackson: Yes. 


Everyone Else: No! 


110% Syberus: (helping himself to Jonnie's peanuts) Anyway you think you've got it bad, I'VE got to listen to Trent Jones this month. 


Jonnie Valentine: Yes, but will you? 


110% Syberus: Of course not. Big Fat Eddie on the other hand, I like him. You hear last month when he used his promo time to rep his strip club? Best shrimp in town. 'guy knows how to hustle. 


Suzi Spitz: He's like a giant teddy bear. 


110% Syberus: That's right, a giant monstrously obese teddy bear. Still he's got more International title credentials in his giant little finger than Trent has in his whole body. Ugh. Trent Jones. Is there anything worse? 


Jonnie Valentine: Anthony Caffrey's face? 


110% Syberus: (mulling it over) Tough call. 


[Ronnie the Merch Guy comes down the aisle out of breath.] 


Jonnie Valentine: Ronnie! You were on this flight? 


Ronnie the Merch Guy: Syberus, bad news about the new glow in the dark 110% croupier visors, they didn't make it into baggage. I'm still waiting to hear on the 110% nest of russian dolls. 


110% Syberus: Damnit! Well this trip just went downhill. Is there any point in even going now? 


Jonnie Valentine: How about retaining your title? 


110% Syberus: I guess. Garçon! 


[The female flight attendant appears.] 


Flight Attendant: Garçon means boy. 


110% Syberus: I know that. 

Flight Attendant: Ahhh, you are British, zis makes sense. Your arrogans is every bit as strong as ours, only with a dryer sense of humour an' less world cups. 


[The whole Society of the New Breed let out a huge “oooohhh” at this sick burn. Syberus mutters “damnit” under his breath.] 


Flight Attendant: Now can I 'elp you Monsieur? 


110% Syberus: Seventeen espressos please, I need something to take the edge off this trip now.


Jonnie Valentine: Anybody else could have won that rumble. The guy couldn't cut a promo. He couldn't get into his own hotel room if it wasn't for his manager swiping the key card for him. Now his son is the new Kim Chee, and seemingly has less compassion than old man.  


110% Syberus: Wait, where is Tuxedo Mask?


Jonnie Valentine: TUX!!!  


[Cut to Tuxedo Mask walking out of the terminal gate at Montreal International Airport]


Montreal Gate Agent: Bonjour and hello, welcome to Montreal!   


Tuxedo Mask: Oh no!! I went to the other France!! 


Montreal Ticket Agent: (with a French accent) Can I help you?


Tuxedo Mask: And I don't speak French!!

(A bearded airport attendant wearing a flannel offers Tux a glass of wine. Tux does the Home Alone double face slap to himself and screams as the camera pans out to the bustling Montreal International Airport)  
  


  

[edwarddubin0604]

(The tron shows raging flames and two figures slowly walk through the flames into visual range who turn out to be Psychotic Goth and his wife Vampira. They are oblivious of the flames as they stop and look ou at the arena ringsiders.)

Vampira: "New Society of the New Breed the time has come for you to pay the price for constantly screwing Psychotic Goth and it starts tonight."

Psychotic Goth: "Tonight I finally get to make you all suffer New Society of the New Breed. Tonight I shall get my revenge on you for screwing both myself and my tag team partners Satan's Disciples. In Paris, France there shall be no love for you. There shall be no romance or even good times on the Champs Elyses or even in the Palace of the Versailles. It shall be a literal nightmare and in this six-man match Satan's Disciples and myself shall beat you all down."

(Psychotic Goth roars in an ancient Gaul dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "You see in the land of the ancient Gauls and where Queen Antoinette declared that her countrymen eat cake and wound up like her husband. That's right she and her husband lost their heads along with various nobles whom the commoners felt oppressed them. Lawlessness reigned and people wen through hell and felt screwed by the establishment and didn't care until Napoleon came along to restore it. To restore order which was really darkness in disguise."

(Vampira: "Sounds familiar doesn't it New Society of the New Breed. You see you have no shame nor do you have any respect for the very championships you hold. Jonnie Valentine you screwed me out of a championship victory but tonight you face a monster named Tarrasque. Telling by your reaction you're scared of him. You fear him. Oh Jonnie 'What's your alias' Valentine I can smell the fear in your body and soul. You're wishing you had lost to Psychotic Goth. You know you were cursed by my husband if you have to face Tarrasque the new and future SWAT World Heavyweight Champion."

(Psychotic Goth bellows in an ancient Gaul dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "While you enjoy stealing people's seats with phony flight scares just to get your seats without paying full price. I was here along with Satan's Disciples training and preparing while you all were screwing around and your male prostitute of a champion and his pimp Ron the Merchandise Guy. You are a bunch of garbage that smells of shit that should have been tossed out long time ago. Yet you stay around and stink up SWAT keeping the new talent down and keeping them down."

(He roars louder in an ancient Gaul dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "It starts with you Marty Donovan. Last year you screwed me when you impersonated a referee and a pathetic excuse for one when I was originally asked to be the special guest referee. You remember that Marty Donovan. I remember that incident quite well you fucking man bitch. While you shill for Scrooge Mc Duck's Disney + and dressed like Yoda as if you're trying to gain acceptance at a comicon cosplay event.
You are a phony champion with a phony championship belt. Don't worry you pathetic piece of trash I'm going to get my hands on you and I'm going to send you into the abyss and I'm going to kill you Marty Donovan and none of your over the hill geezers are going to save you from the punishment I shall inflict upon your body and soul. You're soul shall be mine and nothing shall stop me from collecting my debt to you."

Vampira: "Donovan you are the blame for my husband's and New Society of the New Breed's troubles and we have cursed you and the rest of the Society forever."

(Psychotic Goth bellows in an ancient Gaul dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "Then you screwed Satan's Disciples out of a victory last year in a steel cage match where they were on the verge of winning but for Andrew Karnage impersonating this piece of shit named Russian Assassin II. You couldn't beat them and their former ally Frostbite and they haven't forgiven you for what you did. Satan's Disciples do not split up because of your setbacks. Use it for motivation and channel your rage and fury. I'll be more than happy to help motivate you and we shall be unstoppable. All you have to do is remember all the times you were screwed and use it as motivation to become more ruthless and aggressive and you can be truly the best you can be."

(Psychotic Goth roars demonically.)

Psychotic Goth: "Think of the times you lost to Team Fairtex who screwed me when they joined the KGB as you were screwed when you saw Frostbite turn on you. It's motivation for the three of us Satan's Disciples. I cursed these sonofabitches and my wife bit Don Joanne Canelli as much as she denies that Vampira turned her into a vampire."

Vampira: "A satisfactory moment I might add."

Psychotic Goth: "It was Vampira. Now back to you three mother fuckers who shall feel both mine and Satan's Disciples wrath. Suzi Spitz you sold out for some marijuana and cannabis. When you take each drag on your toke and snort all that marijuana you'll see us Suzi and you shall witness what hell really is when you get cursed. You see you only won your title because Radu Matei took a dive to prevent Lynn Brewster from going free from former SWAT owner Joe Pesci. Now you allowed Jonnie to beat you and in return he made you sell out and you are his whore and prostitute. I hope you're happy as you do your drugs and your other influences that bring you into mighty Satan's influence. I shall love it when I personally guide you into Hell."

(He laughs maniacally.)

Psychotic Goth: "Be assured New Society of the New Breed both Satan's Disciples and myself shall give you the worst beat down that you have yet to experience. Lucifer and Doomsday and myself are going to crush you and then I shall help guide them to the SWAT World Tag Team Championships."

Vampira: "Team Fairtex sooner or later you're going to understand the true meaning of the curse I put on KGB and you shall be wishing you hadn't turned on Psychotic Goth. Look at Joanne Canelli. She ran away from some object that Seiji Shimuzu . You got a taste of the curse that you well earned and you are seeing how Don Joanne Canelli got what's coming to her and why she feared that object. She's now a vampire and soon you shall be feeling the curse as well. Satan's Disciples will prevail and take your SWAT World Tag Team Championships."

Psychotic Goth: "Vampira and I shall be your guide if you accept me. We are looking at the same goal and that is revenge on those who did us wrong. We shall go out there and we shall send The New Society of the New Breed out to pasture and we shall get revenge on them."

(Psychotic Goth lowers his head and raises his arms and flings back his head revealing his pale handsome goth like looks.)

Psychotic Goth: "In a matter of moments Satan's Disciples and myself shall destroy the New Society of the New Breed and rob them of everything they own. We shall tear them apart and destroy them once and for all. If not tonight we shall do it and do it over time to make sure they start getting the message that we're going to destroy them. Commissioner Zoran we shall curse you too and see if you think all three of us won't tear you to shreds. We shall and send you, KGB and the New Society of the New Breed into Hell as well. We shall do that and we shall accomplish that goal. Thus we have spoken and thus we shall make this omen come true.)

(Psychotic Goth slams his arms down as both the flames go dark as well as the tron and the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Well let us head up into the ring for tonight’s first match between the Society of New Breed members., Marty Donovan, Tuxedo Mask and former world champion, Suzi Spitz as they take on Psychotic Goth and his partners Satan Disciples, Doomsday and Lucifer.

Andrew Fulton: The Society of the New Breed have this in the bag. Doomsday will be too busy thinking about his retirement party and they will be picked apart.

Jeremy Tucker: Any event all the participants are in the ring. It appears Marty will be starting out for his team and Doomsday for his team.

The bell sounds....

Andrew Fulton: The two men ate stalking each other as Doomsday is about to lock up, but Marty ducks under the potential lockup. Doomsday nods his head. The two are about to lock back up but Marty ducks once again.

Jeremy Tucker: Mind games from the legend. The two are once again about to lock up, but Marty quickly hits Doomsday with an enzuigri to the back of his head which staggers the big man. Marty races into the ropes, as he hits a flying forearm as it once again staggers the big man but not off of his feet. Marty kicks Doomsday’s left knee as it does drop him to one knee. He bounces off the ropes, but Doomsday gets to his feet as he grabs Marty by the throat.

Andrew Fulton.. Doomsday picks him up, but Marty slides down his back as he clips the big man in the back of his left knee. He races into the ropes and he catches him with a dropkick. He jumps on him as he goes for the cover.

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Jeremy Tucker.. Doomsday powers out. Marty stalks Doomsday as he allows the big man to get to his feet. Marty once again bounces off the ropes, but Doomsday catches him as he hits him with a hard spinebuster.

Andrew Fulton: What a hard spinebuster it just about put Marty through the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: Doomsday picks up Marty as he connects with a backbreaker, he picks him up once again and connects with a fallaway slam. Marty pulls himself over to the nearest corner. Doomsday races in and connects with a stinger splash. Marty falls hard to the mat. Doomsday drops a quick leg across Marty’s chest as he goes for the cover.

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Andrew Fulton: Marty kicks out. Doomsday makes a tag into Lucifer. The two pull Marty up and they whip him into the ropes and connect with a double big boot. Lucifer hip tosses Doomsday right across Marty’s chest. Lucifer goes in for the cover.

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Jeremy Tucker: Marty kicks out. I must say an interesting move by the Disciples there. Lucifer pulls Marty to his feet as he throws a few body shots in and then a massive uppercut that sends Marty half way across the ring. Lucifer walks toward Marty who quickly connects with a drop toe hold, as Lucifer’s throat hits the bottom rope. Marty makes the tag into the Tuxedo Mask.

Andrew Fulton: Tuxedo Mask races into a far corner as he connects with a baseball slide dropkick right into Lucifers face. Tuxedo Mask pulls Lucifer away from the ropes as he goes up and connects with a high moonsault. He goes for the cover.



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Jeremy Tucker: Lucifer kicks out. Tuxedo Mask bounces off the ropes as Lucifer gets to his feet and hits a running bulldog. Lucifer bounces back up to his feet but Tuxedo Mask catches him with a roundhouse kick right to the back of his head. Lucifer drops to one knee, Tuxedo Mask grabs him by his neck and drops him right into the mat with a quick ddt. He goes for the cover.


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Andrew Fulton: Lucifer kicks out. Tuxedo Mask races over to the ropes as he climbs them with quick like reflexes as he wants for Lucifer to get to his feet as he does he comes flying off, he tries for what might be a hurricanrana, but Lucifer catches him and connects with a thunderous powerbomb.

Jeremy Tucker: Damn that shook the entire ring. Lucifer tries to crawl over to his corner but Marty makes his way into the ring, as Lucifer makes the tag to Goth, but the ref turns around as he tries to get Goth out of the ring.

Andrew Fulton: Smart by the veteran there, the Society working well together here. Marty and Tuxedo Mask pick up Lucifer and dump him to the floor. Lucifer tries to get to his feet but Suzi jumps off the ring apron and catches Lucifer with a dropkick from behind as it sends Lucifer face first into the ring post.

Jeremy Tucker: I must admit excellent teamwork. Suzi jumps back up to the ring apron. Marty jumps down to the floor as he pulls Lucifer to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. Tuxedo Mask tags in Suzi.

Andrew Fulton: Suzi pulls Lucifer to his feet as she has him by his neck as she races up the top ropes and connects with a tornado ddt sticking Lucifer’s head right into the mat. She goes for the cover.


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Jeremy Tucker: He kicks out. Suzi pulls Lucifer to his feet and she knocks him back down with a short arm clothesline, she pulls him back up and connects with another one. She pulls Lucifer up again, as she quickly connects with a swinging neckbreaker. She goes for another pin.


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Andrew Fulton: Lucifer just kicks out. Suzi sits Lucifer up as she slaps on an abdominal stretch while Lucifer is on the mat, Suzi is hitting him right in his ribs. She breaks the hold, she races into the ropes and hits Lucifer with a running clothesline. She pulls the big man to his feet as she tries to pick him up for a suplex, but he blocks it. Lucifer then pulls Suzi up as he has her high up in the air allowing the blood to rush right to her head, after having her up there he drops her straight to the mat.

Jeremy Tucker: A nice counter from Lucifer. Suzi makes her way over and tags in Tuxedo Mask. Tuxedo Mask watches for Lucifer to get to his feet as he does he does a nice handstand and tries his best to connect with a spear but Lucifer sidesteps it as he races into the ropes and connects with a hard spear that knocks Tuxedo Mask out of his boots.

Andrew Fulton: He made the man do a 360 flip. Lucifer reaches out and makes the tag into Goth. Goth rolls right into the ring as he pulls Tuxedo Mask to his feet and connects with three straight German suplexes. Tuxedo Mask somehow gets to his feet as Goth connects with a clothesline from hell flipping him inside out. He goes for the cover.


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Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo Mask kicks out. He pulls Tuxedo Mask to his feet as he connects with an over the head suplex. Goth bounces off the ropes and connects with a legdrop. Goth then drops three elbows right into Tuxedo Masks chest. Goth pulls Tuxedo Mask to his feet as he whips him into the ropes ad he tries for a tilt a whirl backbreaker but Tuexdo Mask counters right into a spinning ddt.


Andrew Fulton: An excellent counter by Tuxedo Mask. He crawls over and makes a tag into Suzi. Suzi waits for Goth to get to his feet as she springboards her way into the ring and connects with a clothesline. She pulls Goth to his feet as she picks him up and connects with a double Underhook powerbomb, she goes in for the cover.


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Jeremy Tucker: Goth kicks out. What a great match to kick off the show.

Andrew Fulton: Suzi might be going in for the kill. I think she might be calling for the bitchmaker. She tries for the powerbomb, but Goth blocks it as he picks up Suzi and spikes her back into the mat with a hard spinebuster. Goth makes a tag into Doomsday but Suzi makes a tag into Marty.

Jeremy Tucker: Doomsday picks up a racing in Marty as he grabs him by the throat and catches him with a huge chokeslam. Doomsday pulls him back up as he drops him back into the mat with another thunderous chokeslam. Doomsday pulls Marty to his feet as he whips him into the ropes and he tosses him up in the air and connects with a pop up powerbomb, he goes in for the cover.



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Andrew Fulton: Marty just kicks out. Doomsday pulls him to his feet as Marty thumbs him right into his right eye. Marty jumps high up into the air and connects with a reverse frankensteiner, as he spikes Doomsdays head right into the mat. He makes a tag into Tuxedo Mask. He goes up to the top ropes as he comes off and connects with a massive corkscrew 450 splash. Tuxedo Mask goes for the cover.



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Jeremy Tucker: Lucifer dives in for the save. As do the others from the Society and Lucifer and Goth. Things are certainly breaking down. Goth and Suzi are going at it and Lucifer and Marty are going at it. Suzi hits a quick codebreaker on Goth, as she springs to the ropes as she turns around Goth spears her knocking her to the floor.

Andrew Fulton: Marty kicks Lucifer in his groin, Marty springs to the ropes as he is coming off the ropes but Lucifer catches him and connects with a huge Powerslam as it sends him to the outside of the ring apron. Tuxedo Mask gets back to his feet as the ref is trying to restore some order. Tuxedo Mask tries to climb to the top ropes as he comes off, Doomsday catches him and connects with a running Powerslam.

Jeremy Tucker: Doomsday points to Lucifer as he goes up to the top as Doomsday puts him on the top of his shoulders. Lucifer is on the top ropes, he comes off and connects with the Psychotic Plunge. But before he heads out of the ring Marty tags himself into the ring. As he races into the ring he is met by a thunderous spinebuster from Doomsday and Lucifer.

Andrew Fulton: Doomsday tags in Goth. Marty somehow staggers to his feet as Goth locks in the GTR. GOTH TORTURE RACK!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Sun is out of it up there, he taps! SUN TAPS!!!

Frank Salazar: The winners of the match the team of Psychotic Goth and Satan Disciples.

Jeremy Tucker: What a great opening match. Goth and the Disciples just pulled it out.

Andrew Fulton: Was this Doomsdays last match and if so it appears he went out a winner.

Jeremy Tucker: We need to take a commercial break.

[Timeless]

We see a fancy office, there is an executive type behind the desk in a nice suit, across from him, the hottest of the hot, Roxylishus. She is in a hot pink singlet and white mini skirt with a black belt. She looks incredible, bright red lipstick like a cherry. You sigh as you see her, a wanting sigh, more of a moan than a sigh, a longing moan. Your insides yearn for her.

Executive : Thank you for joining me today Miss ... (looks at his notes) .. Lishus.

Roxylishus : My pleasure. (she smiles at him, seductively, and he wriggles in his seat a little.)

Executive : So, as you know, we are casting for Dancing with the Stars, and your agent has gotten you in here, he must have some sway, as to get in here with me, well, let’s say not many make it this far.

Roxylishus : I will have to pass on my gratitude to him. (she coo’s)

Executive : So, you are a wrestler?

Roxylishus : I am. I mainly work as a manager / valet but i also wrestle. Coming up in April i will be entering a big tag team competition with my tag team partner Tiimeless called the Anzac Cup, i hope it doesn’t get in the way of Dancing with the Stars recording.

Executive : Timeless?

Roxylishus : He is the Hoss of SWAT. Sir Winsalot! Together we are unstoppable there.

Executive : (nodding dismissively) That’s great. And you have experience in reality tv?

Roxylishus : I most certainly do. I was on so i am a Celebrity Get me out of Here, and also Married at First Sight.

Executive : How did that go?

Roxylishus : It was a blast, I am surprised you aren’t familiar, it went viral when i got married on MAFS.

Executive : Viral?

Roxylishus : Yes, you see, my assigned husband was not the man i ended up marrying. I met Mr Lishus there, and well, i just had to Marry him.

Executive : Why was that?

Roxylishus : So i could be RoxyLishus silly.

Executive : So that is now your REAL name?

Roxylishus : You got it sport. (she winks at him)

Executive : You know, now that you mention it, it does ring a bell. This isn’t MAFS though, nor any Jungle, this is Dancing, can you Dance?

Roxylishus : I am an expert in all three forms.

Executive : (puzzled) Three forms?

Roxylishus : Lap. Pole and Twerk.

Executive : (swallows) I bet you are. That is something i would like to see.

Roxylishus : Get me on the show and YOU WILL!

Executive : A lot of wrestlers have nicknames, monikers, do you have one we can use on the show?

Roxylishus : I am the Cosmic Girl.

Executive : I like it, where did that come from?

Roxylishus : Well, Timeless and i went on adventure back to 1995 and we sort of screwed up, we thought we were going to a costume party but i was the only one dressed up, i was a Star Wars Alien, and at first it was real awkward, so i got up on that stage and i Danced my butt off! That would have been a lock to get me on your show if you had seen that. Then, Jay Kay of Jamiriquai, well, he was at the party and he took a shine to me, and after we ported back to todays timeline, he wrote Cosmic Girl for ME!

Executive : Time Travel?

Roxylishus : Yes, Timeless is the Master of Time and Space, we have gone on many adventures.

Executive : No THAT is a SHOW! Tell me more.

Roxylishus : We once travelled back in time to take out our greatest rival Daniel Collins. He is the son of Phoenix. Not this new Phoenix Seiji the DawnBringer, THE PHOENIX. HPWA. Anyway, to take out his son, we went back to 1994 to take out PX before he could even conceive Daniel. It sort of backfired, and we got a bit carried away, we were ramming PX’s mums dildo’s down his throat for some fun, and he sorta puked all over Timeless. Timeless had to shower and PX asked for a final wish while he was in there, a lap dance from me, who can refuse a man his final wish? Right? But he thwarted me and escaped his binds during the Dance, and managed to grab a sword he had and took clean off the wrist of Timeless, Timeless fled in panic and Yoda gave him a Jedi / Terminator metal hand.

Executive : Yoda?

Roxylishus : Yes, the panic flee took Timeless to where he needed to be.

Executive : Tell me more about the Wrestling, i used to watch it as a kid, back in the day with Robert Hunglestein and Jonnie Valentine and Cobryn.

Roxylishus : Well, Valentine is still active today, actually, he is SWAT’s World Champion. For now, until Timeless gets his shot at the Gold, then it will be ours. We got a match coming up in Paris against Anthony Caffrey. He is some big star from the XHF they reckon, coming to SWAT to try his hat in the big leagues. He is ok, but he is no Timeless. At the Rumble we filled his boots in cement and sent him sailing over the top. The records show he outlasted us, but he knows who eliminated him, as do the fans.

Executive : I got to say, i just went into this meeting as a favor for your agent, but you are a fire cracker, what a surprise packet. I just don’t know if as a wrestler you will be as recognisable as the other Stars we typically have on Dancing.

Roxylishus : You mean the Stars’ kids no one has ever heard of? People are calling the show Dancing with the Stars’ Children. As for recognisable, i am the Queen of social media, i have more instagram followers than all the Kardashians COMBINED!

Executive : Combined?

Roxylishus : Combined.

Executive : Ok, well, this is looking real promising. (moves into sleaze mode) What do you say we head back to my place, have a few cocktails, and go over the fine details, and my oh my, you are mighty fine.

Roxylishus : (seductively) That sounds really interesting, but to go over these finer details, it’s going to take much more than the promise of an appearance, to get anywhere near this it would be AFTER i win the whole thing.

Executive : But ... but the winner is not up to me, it’s up to the judges.

Roxylishus : Come on, we all know reality tv is as fake as it gets. You have my number, get me on that show sir, AND get me the win!

Roxylishus stands up, winks and blows a kiss to the exec and then struts sexily towards the door, she stops then, bends down in front of him, and adjusts the strap slowly on her shoe, then looks back at him ogling at her, smiles at him her siren smile, knowing he is hooked, and then struts out of the office without looking back.

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is in their locker room putting on their KGB hoodies and caps as they are talking strategy as they prepare for their six-man match with Team SWAT. The door opens and closes and Warren W. Webber appears."

WWW: "Gentlemen...."

Phantam Fairtex: "Where....Just kidding Warren."

WWW: "Um yes. I'm just wondering what your thoughts are about this match with Team SWAT involving Seiji Shimuzu, Albion and 'Lucky Linda La Fey."

Tong Fairtex: "You know what our thoughts are WWW. We're totally focused on this match with Isuzu, 'Unlucky' Linda and Albie. You see they're facing a group and not three individuals who haven't even met each other. The KGB is a united group under one leader and thst leader is Soutter the true heart and soul of SWAT."

WWW: "Speaking of which word has it that there's a bit of dissent....."

(Phantam holds his hand up.)

Phantam Fairtex: "Now you hold it just a second WWW. We have lots of respect for you but when you spread plenty of lies and phony gossip about The KGB's unity. I mean are you spouting fake news like the current president is accusing the media of doing."

WWW: "Well no...."

Phantam Fairtex: "Then why start now. You're just motivating us to give a beat down to those three foolish idiots who represent Team SWAT or allegedly represent Team SWAT."

WWW: "Psychotic Goth did warn that he cursed KGB and his wife said she bit Don Joanne Canelli and made her into an Vampire."

Tong Fairtex: "Let's get something straight if KGB is cursed why are we still the SWAT World Tag Team Champions and why is Don Joanne Canelli still SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Champion. Can you explain that WWW with a straight face."

Phantam Fairtex: "Please do it with a straight face."

WWW: "Well yu retained your titles on a technicality and Joanne won in epic fashion."

Tong Fairtex: "You see he admitted that Joanne won legitimately but we still don't get respect. Well tonight we're going to beat down those three pieces of garbage of Team SWAT and we're going to do it decisively proving who is the truly superior group and it isn't Team SWAT."

Phantam Fairtex: "You see Isuzu you made a serious mistake in messing with KGB business and we mean a really serious mistake."

WWW: "You tried to attack Albion and Linda after their epic battle for the $2,00,000 Dollar Women's Tournament."

Tong Fairtex: "Do you really believe that WWW. We were just welcoming Albion to SWAT and Isuzu took it quite personally and he foolishly interfered in our business. Now how do you think we're going to take it when those old geezers in the New Society of the New Breed interfere with our affairs and then Isuzu comes in with some phony stick just to get a rush out of the Don Joanne Canelli."

Phantam Fairtex: "We took it quite personally and tonight we're going to take it out on all three of you and no phony cure for vampire bites won't be able to get you a victory. You see this time we're not going to be giving you a welcome that's not so cordial as the last time."

Tong Fairtex: "You see Don Joanne Canelli isn't going to be intimidated by you three idiots. We're not going to be scared of you and we're certainly not going to let Joanne be harmed by your Van Helsing act and Joanne's definitely not going to be intimidated by Albion's Buffy The Vampire Slayer's routine. So you three assholes will be in for a long and hard night after we're through with you."

WWW: "You sound confident that you'll win."

Tong Fairtex: "We're KGB and we're lways confident. The KGB is always confident in everything we do and if you need further proof in SWAT. Who has the SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Championship."

WWW: "Don Joanne Canelli."

Tong Fairtex: "Obvious isn't it WWW. Now who is the current SWAT World Tag Team Champions and the future XHF Global Tag Team Champions WWW."

WWW: "Team Fairtex."

Tong Fairtex: "That's correct WWW. However, we're still focused on the first important goal and that is defeating these three rejects from a GLOW wrestling show. Yeah we said it Team SWAT we're going to do what we should have done last show and ot rid of you but we were too nice to delay and those old geezers saved both the day and your asses."

Phantam Fairtex: "Not this time. We're going to do this right and make sure nobody saves your asses."

WWW: "Well Commissioner Zoran Sainovic vowed to make your lives a living hell now that he has the X-Crown."

Phantam Fairtex: "You mean the X-Clown is soiling the X-Crown and if he thinks that we're going to be going through hell. Zoran's going to find out that KGB is going to be the one making his life a living hell and we're calling the shots from now on. Team SWAT is going to learn that along with The Not So Wizards of Oz. So will The Indians and anyone else who gets into KGB's way. So SWAT better live with the real order of things under KGB rule."

Tpong Fairtex: "Tonight Team SWAT we're going to make sure this prediction comes true and you can't do anything about it either. That's right Isuzu you can't stop us and neither can you Albion and especially not you either Linda. Your luck just ran out and The KGB shall reinforce their will again in SWAT and there shall be real changes and you better be ready to follow them. If you don't and we know you won't follow our rules. The KGB will deal out severe consequences."

WWW: "What will that be."

Phantam Fairtex: "You'll see and if you're nice WWWW we'll go real nice with you too."

Tong Fairtex: "Right now we have some business to do and we're going to make sure it's done. After tonight SWAT truly transforms and that's an omen and prophecy that even Psychotic Goth could never predict. So Team SWAT you're going to suffer KGB wrath and you'll be wishing you didn't do anything stupid like you did the last time. We're out of here."

Phantam Fairtex: "Right behind you bruh."

(They leave the locker room.)

WWW: "Well gentlemen back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

A very somber looking Trent Jones sits in his locker room alone. After the rumble took place and Trent Jones failed to win the rumble. He had just moments ago sent Layton out of the room. He wanted to be alone. He had hoped to be alone in the ring at the end of the night. Trent continues to stare into the mirror.

Tren Jones eyes don’t even seem to blink it makes you wonder if it is a still photo but then he speaks, “Fuck I took my eye of the mission here in SWAT. At the moment I became the international champion and Eddie D tried to take credit. But the title belt was never handed to me and Eddie D caused me to lose my world title shot.”

Trent's head moves a little, “damn it god why did I lose this match?” Trent looks up like he is expecting to hear an answer.

But the thing is Trent did hear something. “Trent Jones Mr. Bones it is not my fault you lost your way. You are just a sheep that has walked away from the flock. You must come back if you want eternal salvation.”

Trent looked around the room no one was in the room. Had the good man upstairs spoken to Trent Jones or was it the meds he wondered. Trent has a lot to be thankful about this. 5 matches in and he was already becoming a top dog in SWAT. No single match loses and a right to claim an international title or at least a match for it. Trent was never going to be happy tell he sat at the top of SWAT.

“Fuck man I need to get out of here, I was supposed to win this rumble and win the heart of some bitch that wins 2 million tonight… but god says I have wondered off from the flock” Trent stands up and grabs his bag.

“At least I will go down as the man that destroyed Duke in a dumpster match and the one that tossed the soulless man to ground and ended his run here in XHF.”

For the first time he smiles a little knowing the fucking Russian scum bag is gone. However, just as quick as the smile came it was gone. Trent again was thinking about the rumble and the outcome. He was close to doing what he said, but the close wasn’t good enough. Trent looks at his biker vest in the mirror and walks out. He walks past SWAT staff, security members, medical staff and doesn’t even see them. Someone spoke to him and he never even responded.

Trent Jones was in no mood really he just wanted to go home. Not the halfway home he wanted to go back to the clubhouse. The mother fucking Ryder home. Trent got in the garbage truck. He turns the key and nothing.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Trent Jones has a look on his face of pure defeat. He just wanted to get out of the arena and get out of here. His life was never great. But now being famous while the court had an order for Trent to live in a halfway house was not something he was thrilled with.

“Fuck let’s leave the truck here I have an idea.” Trent get-outs and walks over to the parking booth. He smiles at the person working, “I need my keys” the worker looks at Trent. “I lost my ticket but my name is Duke Kosloff and I need my car”

The worker goes to get the car, Layton looks at Trent, “dude you are just going to steal the man's car? That’s messed up you shouldn’t just take someone else's items that they worked hard and make it your own.”

Trent laughs, “I don’t think he will care I stole his work, I mean his car. Fuck him anyways I am sure he will just steal someone else’s anyways he seems to look like a thief anyways.”

The worker returns with the keys and they get in the car they drive off.

*******************
Halfway house
*******************

Trent Jones is sitting in the common space room in a chair. He has had a few days to get over the rumble results. Trent takes a deep breath and drinks from a bottle of coke. He wants a beer and he wants to pick up a girl and have some fun. Trent Jones was starting to maybe get ready to get over falling short in the rumble.

Trent looks on his face told a story of a man who was tired. Tired of the court system and lawsuits and tired of matches with multiple people in it…he loved a good old one on one matches. But today was going to be a new day a fresh start to being one day closer to getting out.

*ring*... *ring* … Trents cell phone is ringing. It’s Alex, Trent lawyer. Trent decides to grab it at the last second.

“Dude if its bad news I swear to god I can’t take it today.” Trent pauses as Alex doesn’t answer quick, “what is it now, let me guess the judge has decided to put me in jail?” Trent thought for a second, “dude is it because I borrowed Dukes rental car, I returned it… wait I didn’t fill it back up… seriously”

“Trent it’s gone…”

“What the fuck is gone?” Says a very frustrated Trent Jones.

“The clubhouse is…”

“It better have been cleaned or upgraded!”

“I am sorry Trent, the Ryder clubhouse burnt down and nothing is left… it’s gone!”

It was that moment that Trent snapped out of his funk and got really angry. Trent stood up and started screaming in his phone.

“Who fucking burned the clubhouse and tonight we ride and we kill the mother fucker that did this.”

Alex knew how Trent Jones felt but being his lawyer he had to try and stop Trent from making any more mistakes. But Trent just dropped his phone. You can still hear Alex trying to talk to him. Trent screams out something but its not really words more like an angry growl.

It was that moment that Layton Cook and Little Ray Ray walked back in the room. They knew something was wrong. Layton Cook had on his vest and the real patches had come in. Trent sits back down he grabs his phone and looks up the local news site for news on the

******
The video plays as we see the Graveyard Ryders building burns in the background as the reporter speaks about the fire. The Fire continues to burn and the building falls to the ground. Trent Jones hand shakes as the video clips ends.

*******
The camera is back on Trent Jones.

“Look Trent I know this is bad timing but I just found out that you have a three-way.”

“You better say I have two sexy girls up in my room because if this is a wrestling match that I have to face two people I am going to be pissed off.” Trent just stops talking as he waits for Layton to reply to him.

“Look Trent its you VS Eddie D VS Syberus for the International title this is your big shot. As you are aware who ever threw him over would be champion. But because you both did it the champs vs you and Eddie D.”

Trent Jones locks his phone and puts it in his pocket. Trent walks back over to the chair and plops back down. He puts his head down and takes a couple deep breaths.

“You know its not fair, neither of these guys deserve the beat down they are going to get at the hands of Tren Jones. You see I can't rebuild the club house and my lawyer says I can’t go and kill people in response to this fire. But my Lawyer said I can destroy the person I face next. You see I am full of rage and anger. Winning a title might distract me for a minute but I am fucking pissed off.”

Trent looks at Layton and keeps talking, “You see Eddie D is a lot like me, he isn't afraid to hurt and be hurt. He doesn’t mind getting hardcore. This guy has worked his way up something most people respect… seems like he has put a lot of time to be here in this match… me I put in 5 matches to get here. So I guess we are not as close as I thought we were.” Trent stands back up and walks into his room the other two guys follow him.

“Trent what is that” Layton points to a leather strap that is under Trent bed.

“Well you see.. I just couldn't let that fuck stick keep the AIW belt so when we stole his car it was in the trunk. I figured the belt should be returned so look up those idiots that ran the fed and we can return it to them. I figured they would give us money for it.”

Trent picks up the title and puts it on the shelf above his bed. “I want to return it but damn I love looking at this belt. But at the end of the night I want to earn my first belt and that chance is now”

“So Trent look we need to get Alex stone on the phone we need to get it so the lawyer can get permission for you to go to Paris France.”

********
Trent Jones Lawyer made a call and they got a court date the next day for an emergency hearing. Trent was sitting waiting for his case to be called. He was reviewing some files on his opponents while he waits.

“So Syberus has held a million titles… so this guy is good at losing belts. So its time we add another loss to him. This guy is 110% asshole. SWAT has no shortage of people who like to look in the mirror and tell themselves how wonderful they are. Look I won't shit on your accomplishments but I will also gladly say I don't give a fuck about them either. You see it's not about what you did in the past its not about what you did in the rumble it is about what you're going to do in this match.”

Trent flips the page over and a picture of the 110% logo shows. “An over achiever in the past too bad you're going to under achieve when you face Mr. Bones and a fat kid named Eddie D. But don't worry you will hear each of us talk about how we are the rightful champ and blah blah blah but at the end of the night I will have proven that I am the real champion. I will walk into the ring with a goal of mass destruction and I will walk out of the ring holding a new belt. SWAT and the XHF will have to respect me or at least fear me.”

Trenst lawyer walks in and tells them they are up. They walk into the courtroom as the case is called Trent and Alex sit at their table while the state prosecutor sits with his team to Trent Left. The judge looks at a few things and then looks up Alex stands before the court room.

“Your Honor my client Trent Jones has continued to work and pay his court fees as he works to continue to prove to you and society that he belongs a free man. This coming week we request permission to fly to Paris, France so Trent can take part in a match to win the International title. This is not a vacation it is a business trip that..”

The Judge clears her throat, “Look I am not stupid I know he won't lose his job if I don't grant this so please spare this courtroom the, he has to work speech.” The judge looks over and sees Dr Philips sitting in the room and she calls her up. “Dr Phillips how is treatment going with Trent Jones?”

Trent puts his head down knowing she is about to fuck this all up for him.

“Your honor, Trent has been to all of his appointments and he has even helped a house mate with a job. Trent has stayed clean of alcohol and he has been taking his medication. However, we have not made progress with the idea that he is a gang leader.”

Alex Stone goes to speak, “Your Honor, the gang is…”

Trent Jones jumps in, “Its over… its gone… its dead… You don't have to worry about the riders any more.” Trent head drops as he speaks but he knows its time.

The judge looks at Trent, “How do i know you're just not saying this Mr. Jones?”

“Your Honor why would I lie to you, the Club House is gone, my vest is packed away and here I stand before you wear this dress shirt and pants. Do you think I would lie to you, I mean these cameras are always following me around they would know. I am about to become an International champion. I have become a role model.”

This is where the state prosecutor speaks up, “Role Models steal cars Trent Jones?”

Fuck, the shit just hit the fan for Trent Jones. Trent Jones face turns very white.

The prosecutor continues to speak, “Trent Jones just stole a car from a fellow pro wrestler and left the arena and stole a wrestling belt out of the car. Trent did return the car to the rental company but he was not the authorized driver of the car. This shows this man is not trying to better himself. I think its time he goes into jail and learns that this courtroom and that laws apply to him.”

Alex Stone speaks up, “Your honor it was a joke as Trent Jones was just messing with Duke as this was Duke's last match in SWAT and he was just trying to be funny.” Alex looks at Trent, “Trent did not take the car and cause Damage. He didn't sell the car and he didn't damage it. It was a bad joke. We are willing to admit it was not a good idea.”

The Judge Speaks, “At this point Trent Jones you give me no choice but to deny your request and at this exact moment I have to ask why I should not throw you in Jail right now?”

It was that moment the door to the courtroom opened and Anthony “Knucks'” Stevenson walked into the courtroom. Knucks is dressed in a black suit and red tie, he walks straight towards the bench.

[eddied]

(It’s the day before Eddie has to travel for the Paris SWAT taping. Eddie D is behind the bar at his nightclub the Double D Club. There are no customers yet because the club is about to open. Eddie is drying a glass and putting it away as we arrive. There’s a dance stage with a young woman practicing some moves on the dance pole. There’s a commotion at the door of agreeable welcomes and back slapping and a whoop from the queue of people outside, like a celebrity had arrived. In walks Greg with a neck brace on.)

EDDIE: Hey Greg, Welcome to the Double D Club. Glad you made it on time for your interview, punctuality is everything in this game.

Greg the Assistant: Thank you. Well I have been swatting up on my wrestling, my cocktail making recipes and I feel I am the man for the job.
I must say, I was shocked to get the call really.

(Greg negotiates the steps down into the main bar, wheelies over to Eddie at the bar and baulks at just how big Eddie is compared to himself. Eddie shakes his hand and gives him a friendly hug and Greg winces and touches his hand to his neck.)

EDDIE: Hey, you might feel you have used up your 15 minutes of fame with your Team SWAT promo at New Year Nightmare, but it all went viral and as you heard from that crowd out there you’re still trending, take a look… How is your neck now?

(Eddie shows Greg the YouTube clip of Greg being power-bombed and dumped into the pool by Psychotic Goth.)

Greg the Assistant: The neck brace is set to come off soon. No idea what came over the brute, I was just trying to do my job.

EDDIE: And I can respect and use a committed man like that around here. I see from your resume that you used to do work in PR, that you’ve done bar work and been in some senior customer facing roles. You’re clearly an organised and proactive team player. Getting down to brass tacks though… how much were you making at that nice resort down at Palm Springs?

Greg the Assistant: Well let’s just say that when I saw the pay rate for your vacancy come up online I jumped at it. There was some trepidation. It’s still in California, although, well…

EDDIE: Go ahead, say it?

Greg the assistant: Well it’s not Palm Springs and this isn’t a high end resort.

EDDIE: No, you’re right Greg. It is not the nice end of California, but I have made this corner nicer and safer than it has ever been, but you’d be more than just an assistant here Greg; you’d be running PR for the bar and me too.

Greg the Assistant: PR? For you? Hell no, I’m out of here…

(Greg goes to wheelie off back towards the front door, but Eddie spins him back to face him and Greg winces at the further whiplash pain caused in his neck.)

EDDIE: Woah… Hold your afterburners there little man, what’s that reaction for?

Greg the Assistant: That wasn't in the job description. I’ve seen the way you talk to a crowd. I’ve seen the way you celebrate the slightest success.
I’m not sure you’re ready for the home truths I’d need to share with you without you power bombing me through a table or something.

EDDIE: Hey i want you to say it how you see it, that’s why I’m thinking of hiring you.
When it comes to celebrating every success, why the hell shouldn’t I?

Greg the Assistant: Because it makes it look as though you don’t know a real challenge when you see one?

EDDIE: This is a new Federation for me. There’s no point blowharding about my EIWF career.
The crowd here don’t like that fed, don’t respect its champions, new or old, and I’m only as good as my last match in front of them on SWAT.

Greg the Assistant: Fine. All true. But you have to strike a better balance. If you hardly mention beating Rajiv or doing well in The Rumble you’ll look more confident, maybe arrogant, but that will just make you look stronger and less needy for their appreciation.
What about the way that you speak to a crowd?

EDDIE: What about it?! I can’t talk about my successes in SWAT this far because you say it’s too soon and too inconsequential?! I can’t talk about my successes from my past because it wasn’t in SWAT so no one wants to hear about it?! So why the hell wouldn’t I go out there and rile up the crowd a bit?

Greg the Assistant: Well because cheap heat looks… really cheap.

(Greg brings his hand to his face and neck, braces himself, expecting to be power bombed at any moment. Greg slowly realises no violence is forthcoming and lowers his hands and smiles awkwardly.)

EDDIE: I have been doing this too long to change too much now, but I think I know where you’re coming from.
I'm not too blind and proud to listen to some pointers from a younger guy like yourself on where I could take my promos instead.

(Greg takes a look around the nightclub briefly and sees the dancers striking evocative poses)




Greg the Assistant: If I'm running PR here, do I need to worry about any dalliances and indiscretions?

(Greg nods awkwardly and winks towards the dance stage. Eddie laughs and then realises that Greg looks semi-serious)

EDDIE: Hell no. How many times must I say it? These dancers are classy, some of the best around.
They’re also half my age and a fifth of my size. It would be creepy. We're all friends here. More like family. 

Greg the Assistant: When the job ad said it was a night club I didn’t expect it to be a lap dancing place.
A den of iniquity no less?

EDDIE: Hey! Den of what? These are exotic dancers; entertainment, not filth.
These girls raise children and go to college with the money they make here.

Greg the Assistant: Don’t get cross. If you want PR advice… having a nightclub in a… less affluent end of town… it isn’t really projecting you to the A-list?

EDDIE: A-list aint the goal here. The PR is more for avoiding obvious pitfalls in this woke, politically correct minefield.  
I proudly straightened this community out around here. My baseball bat saw off the drug dealers and my wrestling fame brought in nicer neighbours and other legit businesses.
There’s no “Me Too” lawsuit risk hanging over my head regarding the dancing girls. There’s no skeletons here to trip over.

Greg the Assistant: OK. With the wages you’re offering, plus the fact that after being very honest with you I’m not covered in splinters and glass on a broken table … I think I can work with you.

EDDIE: That’s great news. OK. So I’m flying to Paris, France to fight for the International Title soon.

Greg the Assistant: Well have you ever been there before?

EDDIE: Once, maybe twice. Mostly did Ireland, Germany and the UK whenever we toured with the EIWF.

Greg the Assistant: Good. Good. So what sort of things will you be talking about in your promo?

EDDIE: That it’s a pleasure to be there. That it’s better than Paris, Tennessee?

Greg the Assistant: Good. Good. And you won’t mention your win over Rajiv?

EDDIE: Nope.

Greg the Assistant: And you won’t go overboard about the Rumble performance.

EDDIE: Well I was gonna mention it a bit…

Greg the Assistant: OK, but remember balance is key.

EDDIE: Restraint aint really my strong point, but I’ll try.

Greg the Assistant: Good. Good. In all honesty, I have to ask from a media spin perspective, are you going to win?

EDDIE: A three way dance is always a tricky one. One on One I have done some serious damage to folks over the years, but I’ve had most of my title success as a tag champion. My peripheral vision got pretty darned good over the years, ‘cause without it you get jumped and double-teamed way too easy. Syberus seems to have been a good champion and Mr Bones took one of my better punches in that rumble and got up to tell the tale. In all honesty, I don’t know.

Greg the Assistant: Well thanks for the honesty, that gives me something to work with.
The crowd doesn’t need 100% honesty, so naturally go out there and tell the world you’re going to be the next champion; almost goes without saying. You will also need to make a personal connection with the crowd though. Any idea how you’ll do that?

EDDIE: Well my Grandpa, God rest his soul, served in World War Two over there so he had some stories about France I could share?

Greg the Assistant: Excellent. There couldn’t be anything more heart-warming than the recollections of a dear departed War Vet to get you over. Just don’t mention The War too much, it’s a long time ago and there are a lot of unfair stereotypes about the French at war. Anything else?

EDDIE: Well I was going to say a couple of sentences in French.

Greg the Assistant: Eddie D, you don’t need PR when you have amazing ideas like this. What are you going to say?

EDDIE: Laisse-moi être ton héros ce soir

Greg the Assistant: “Let me be you’re hero tonight”?! Très bon Eddie. Bravo. I can’t see how that could possibly go wrong. OK. I’m definitely sold on the job. When can I start?

EDDIE: The bar opens in 20 minutes. You work your first shift for free as an intern, probationary one-off goodwill, aptitude test, induction shift, to show your commitment to the cause and then we’ll work out your roster with the head barman Gilbert. The PR stuff will require regular catch ups and any travel expenses to the PPV’s with me can be billed to yours truly. Coach not First class you understand.

Greg the Assistant: Naturally. Frugal business is long term business as they say. I’m sure someone famous said it, at least once. I’m happy to work this goodwill shift too. When do we fly to Paris?

EDDIE: As the event is right on top of us, this time you’ll be supporting from The States, but next time we’ll get the tickets in plenty of time, cheaper that way.
Welcome aboard Greg. Gilbert will be over shortly to give you the quickie induction. Thank you and good luck tonight.

(Eddie shakes Greg’s hand again making Greg wince again at the neck pain, but he fronts a smile. Greg wheelies around the bar, to get used to the bar layout. Eddie heads to the office in the back to prepare for his trip to the airport. The scene ends.)



Note: Sadly after seeing Eddie’s promo at the start of the show Greg is currently reconsidering his position as Eddie’s PR manager.