Right Turn Rat
Feb 13, 2020 20:16:44 GMT -5
Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Feb 13, 2020 20:16:44 GMT -5
*We open on a scene that’d be more fit for a 70’s-80’s wrestling show (with the camera quality included). AWF’s interviewer Charles Akiyama stands next to the towering XHF Network owner, Mongo the Destroyer outside- the natural habitat of wrestlers and owners alike where they do….uh….whatever wrestlers and staff did in the 70’s and 80’s when they’d have the weird outside interviews.*
Akiyama: Hello I am Charlie Akiyama and today I have an exclusive interview with the XHF Network owner who….who seems to in great spirits!
*He tips the microphone to Mongo who bends a little to speak into it*
Mongo: You’re darn right Charles! I’m feeling great! And why wouldn’t I?
Akiyama: Well sir, it’s just that your longest-time rival and enemy, the man who almost brought down the XHF himself, Rat Bastard has returned and still seems to have his aims set on taking you down.
*Mongo laughs, a little over to go with the camera/audio/visual theme of the promo.*
Mongo: Let me tell you something, Charles! First of all, I think you’re grossly over-stating what Rat Bastard has accomplished. The man is a legend and he’s earned his accolades but not any sort of statement like “almost brought the XHF down.” No no, Rat was just another challenge along the road of ownership.
Akiyama: I se-
Mongo: But furthermore, this is like a caveman getting unfrozen in our time. You see Charles, this isn’t the Xtreme Hardcore Federation- this is the XHF Network and we’ve got a guy who’s entire wealth of knowledge and experience is stuck in the past assuming that what worked then will still work on this scale. Back then you could walk down to the ring, point your finger at somebody and probably get them in a match with you eventually. But now? Charles I’m retired! And more power to Rat for getting in the ring again but it shows just how much he’s in need to come dragging himself back here for work.
Akiyama: Strong wor-
Mongo: Rat thinks he can challenge me but he’s gotta make his way through all the other fed heads before he’s even on my radar in terms of issues. I’ve got paperwork to deal with that’s more threatening than some relic taking pot shots out of habit. But, Charles, we’ve gotten away from your original interest…
*He points to his big grin.*
Akiyama: Yes, so Mongo, considering all that’s going on I’ve still got to ask, why are you so happy?
Mongo: Why am I happy? I’ll tell you! Not only do I get to enjoy the pathetic show of watching Rat try to live up to his overinflated hype but I get to watch him do it in AWF!
Akiyama: Now Sir, excuse me for my bluntness, but you’ve always had a contentious relationship with AWF. So why would an XHF legend joining bring you joy?
*The XHF Network owner laughs, he’s delighted by the whole thing.*
Mongo: I’ll tell you, on the first episode of Prestige Felix- yeah I’ll use his real name today- Felix Ziko came out and gave this ridiculous speech that was almost certainly a veiled shot at how I ran the XHF during his very short time there. He went on and on about how the AWF would be different and better or some crap I honestly mentally checked out about halfway through.
*He pauses and holds up a finger.*
Mongo: But since then I’ve seen him compromise his morals for the sake of Terry Bradshaw and money, deal with censorship, deal with pretenders to his company trying to change everything, and now- now he’s happily accepted a living weapon like Rat Bastard into his company. Now don’t get me wrong Charles, Rat doesn’t pose a threat to me- I’ve dealt with him in the past and can handle that. But Ziko? Hahaha. Oh man.
*He shakes his head.*
Mongo: All I’m saying is that folks should get their microwaves warmed up because you’re in for a show. If Rat can scrape together even half trouble he made for me in the XHF then maybe- JUST MAYBE- Felix will finally realize what it takes to be a real owner and the crap I had to deal with that made the XHF what it was as he saw it.
*He opens his arms up.*
Mongo: You see Charles, I don’t hate AWF. I recognize all the hard work the workers there put in to make it the show that it is- rather I’m all about education. And between you, me, and all the people out there watching, Fezzik isn’t there yet. But with Rat, maybe he will be. So I hope Rat Bastard goes hog wild all over the AWF and it wakes Fezzik up that you can’t win every battle the way that looks the best in front of a camera.
Akiyama: So correct me if I’m wrong, but are you hoping that Rat causes trouble for Mr. Ziko?
Mongo: Ab-so-lute-ly. Have fun Rat! Maybe we’ll see you on the other side, Felix
*Mongo winks and walks off because that’s how old school promos work.*
Akiyama: Strong words from the XHF Network Owner. I’m Charlie Akiyama, signing off.
*The camera then fades.*
Akiyama: Hello I am Charlie Akiyama and today I have an exclusive interview with the XHF Network owner who….who seems to in great spirits!
*He tips the microphone to Mongo who bends a little to speak into it*
Mongo: You’re darn right Charles! I’m feeling great! And why wouldn’t I?
Akiyama: Well sir, it’s just that your longest-time rival and enemy, the man who almost brought down the XHF himself, Rat Bastard has returned and still seems to have his aims set on taking you down.
*Mongo laughs, a little over to go with the camera/audio/visual theme of the promo.*
Mongo: Let me tell you something, Charles! First of all, I think you’re grossly over-stating what Rat Bastard has accomplished. The man is a legend and he’s earned his accolades but not any sort of statement like “almost brought the XHF down.” No no, Rat was just another challenge along the road of ownership.
Akiyama: I se-
Mongo: But furthermore, this is like a caveman getting unfrozen in our time. You see Charles, this isn’t the Xtreme Hardcore Federation- this is the XHF Network and we’ve got a guy who’s entire wealth of knowledge and experience is stuck in the past assuming that what worked then will still work on this scale. Back then you could walk down to the ring, point your finger at somebody and probably get them in a match with you eventually. But now? Charles I’m retired! And more power to Rat for getting in the ring again but it shows just how much he’s in need to come dragging himself back here for work.
Akiyama: Strong wor-
Mongo: Rat thinks he can challenge me but he’s gotta make his way through all the other fed heads before he’s even on my radar in terms of issues. I’ve got paperwork to deal with that’s more threatening than some relic taking pot shots out of habit. But, Charles, we’ve gotten away from your original interest…
*He points to his big grin.*
Akiyama: Yes, so Mongo, considering all that’s going on I’ve still got to ask, why are you so happy?
Mongo: Why am I happy? I’ll tell you! Not only do I get to enjoy the pathetic show of watching Rat try to live up to his overinflated hype but I get to watch him do it in AWF!
Akiyama: Now Sir, excuse me for my bluntness, but you’ve always had a contentious relationship with AWF. So why would an XHF legend joining bring you joy?
*The XHF Network owner laughs, he’s delighted by the whole thing.*
Mongo: I’ll tell you, on the first episode of Prestige Felix- yeah I’ll use his real name today- Felix Ziko came out and gave this ridiculous speech that was almost certainly a veiled shot at how I ran the XHF during his very short time there. He went on and on about how the AWF would be different and better or some crap I honestly mentally checked out about halfway through.
*He pauses and holds up a finger.*
Mongo: But since then I’ve seen him compromise his morals for the sake of Terry Bradshaw and money, deal with censorship, deal with pretenders to his company trying to change everything, and now- now he’s happily accepted a living weapon like Rat Bastard into his company. Now don’t get me wrong Charles, Rat doesn’t pose a threat to me- I’ve dealt with him in the past and can handle that. But Ziko? Hahaha. Oh man.
*He shakes his head.*
Mongo: All I’m saying is that folks should get their microwaves warmed up because you’re in for a show. If Rat can scrape together even half trouble he made for me in the XHF then maybe- JUST MAYBE- Felix will finally realize what it takes to be a real owner and the crap I had to deal with that made the XHF what it was as he saw it.
*He opens his arms up.*
Mongo: You see Charles, I don’t hate AWF. I recognize all the hard work the workers there put in to make it the show that it is- rather I’m all about education. And between you, me, and all the people out there watching, Fezzik isn’t there yet. But with Rat, maybe he will be. So I hope Rat Bastard goes hog wild all over the AWF and it wakes Fezzik up that you can’t win every battle the way that looks the best in front of a camera.
Akiyama: So correct me if I’m wrong, but are you hoping that Rat causes trouble for Mr. Ziko?
Mongo: Ab-so-lute-ly. Have fun Rat! Maybe we’ll see you on the other side, Felix
*Mongo winks and walks off because that’s how old school promos work.*
Akiyama: Strong words from the XHF Network Owner. I’m Charlie Akiyama, signing off.
*The camera then fades.*
