Battleground 24 : The Greek Tragedy (Show)

[frostbite]

CHORUS OF BOOS

Frostbite is bend over in the backstage area exhausted from his victory as the sweat is pouring from his forehead onto the hard floor. Bruno is right beside him as he puts his large hand over his broad left shoulder. Frostbite looks up at Bruno just shaking his head.

Frostbite.. Big man, close one there a win nevertheless.

Bruno nods his head.

Frostbite.. Bruno, I just do not know? I must admit one tough opponent out there this evening but he is not KGB right?

Bruno nods his head.

Frostbite.. But I am concern about something. What about James Firece return to the company. Could not be another member being added to the Society of New Breed. Who knows anymore? Talk about the Cup is approaching. I must admit my luck there as not be too swift. Charlie Fiegel, Michael Maddox and Tarrasque last year. My success as not be great. I will admit Tarrasque might have been my best partner and we could not stand each other. This year big man, I need to make a statement. I need to let this company know that Frostbite is for real.

Frostbite straightens up.

Frostbite.. I heard Timeless out there and he did not know why Paul did not help me last week. It is not Paul fault that I did not get the job done. Zoran had to nearly kill me to hold onto the title, but big man, what do I have to do to get over that hump. It had never bee this hard for me. The competition is getting better here. Paul had great talent that has come in and made a difference already. But I told everybody that I am here to win the big one. I have two chances at being World Champion and did not get the job done and last week could not get the job done again. Look I appreciate Timeless saying what he said but Alex had won the Cup and been a champion so he has a right to say whatever he so desires. But Bruno this coming up short too much needs to stop.

Bruno gives Frostbite an odd look.

Frostbite.. I am serious big man. I need to figure this out very soon or the KGB is going to think I can not carry my weight around here. I get on Satan Disciples because they are not doing anything when in fact I need to look at myself in the mirror. I can not be given all of these chances at some up short. Sure people are going to buy into the belief that since I am a member of the KGB I am getting these shots, but there comes a certain point where I have to prove that I am that good.

Frostbite pulls off his KGB black and red gloves.

Frostbite.. Bruno it is time to turn it up a notch. I need to prove to this company why I am cold hearted. I know I am better than Johnnie or Syberus. The great hardkore icons need to understand that I am the son of a bitch that is running this place. The KGB are the ones in charge. Zoran I will get him down the road, he to like many others need of refreshing course to u understand what in the hell I am all about. No more failures they are from here on out will not acceptable.

Frostbite tosses the gloves on the ground.

Frostbite.. I must go back to where it all began Bruno. I must be more ruthless than ever before. Whatever it takes, but somebody with a car, set them on fire, do whatever it takes. Tonight starts the beginning of the end for everybody around here. You lisyen to the commish and can the man please speak so damn English. He feels that I might have gone soft, be grateful what you wish before because I will burn your ass to the ground. People Bruno will never let well enough alone. But Frostbite will make a big announcement right here and now.

Bruno steps back.

Frostbite.. It appears everybody wants to get themselves a partner for the Cup, well anybody wants to team with the cold hearted bastard, them give me a buzz. If you want a partner that will run through anybody for the cause you have found the right man. I am going to show not only our commish but the entire damn locker room that Frostbite is not playing around anymore. Welcome to my hell, bitches....

Frostbite walks off as Bruno shakes his head.

Andrew Fulton.. A pissed off Frostbite even though he won his match this evening.

Jeremy Tucker.. Look Frostbite has high standards for himself, he feels he is one of the best in the locker room.

Andrew Fulton.. What about his statement he is looking for a partner for the upcoming tournament.

Jeremy Tucker.. I am sure he will have a few takers.

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

The arena lights flicker as static shows on the big screen. A Trent Jones Logo shows as we see Trent Jones riding a motorcycle through Greece. The locals cheer when they see the Thessaloniki landmarks in the background as Trent stops his Bike. Trent steps off of his motorcycle and he spits out some chew spit and scratches his ass as he walks. He looks over at the tower (white Tower of Thessaloniki) as he walks a few Greeks walk past him.

“Am I really in Greece because I keep seeing all these big nosed people and you would think I am over in Jewland or one of those other jewy land.”

The crowd in the arena boos as Trent continues to walk over to the tower he spits another mouth of dip spit. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out an Eddie D action figure.

“Come on little Eddie I promised you I would show you around. Only a child goes by the name Eddie. Name one famous Eddie in this world. Well I mean there is the black guy who played a cop from Detroit and that guitar guy but the rest are just little kids. But come Eddie we got to get you up at the top of the Tower before your next vitamin shoot up.”

Trent and the little action figure continue to the tower. As the scene cuts ahead to Trent standing at the top of the tower looking out at the water.

“I should be standing here with a SWAT belt on my shoulder but the 109% got lucky. If this was just 108% and me in a match I am your new champion. But when you add the man child Eddie D to the match it just gets messy and people lose focus. SWAT knew this was to his benefit and they set us both up to fail and then this week they wanted us to kill each other in some low spot on the card. I cleansed SWAT and XHF of a nightmare and then I destroyed mother fuckers in a rumble and in the end it came down to a cluster match for me. Now I walk away from those amazing performances with nothing to show for it. So Eddie D what's it going to be.”

Trent Jones pulls back out his Eddie D action figure. He lets the action figure look out at the water. Trent changes his voice as he pretends to make the action figure speak, “I should have won but you got in the way Trent… You know it was me that threw him over you just put your hand on 154% to try and take the title.” Trent face goes angry as he moves the action figure in front of his face.

“Look you little fucker I tossed out 75% off and you are the one that touched him as I was throwing him off. You know that title should have been mine and then you got in the way in the 3 way match. Trust me this was my first 3 way that didnt have 2 females in but, this match was still me and 2 bitches. Your a fucking child”

“I am not a child” says Eddie D action figure.

“You're not a child, well how come I paid 4 dollars and you were free…. Its because your a fucking child.”

Trent Cell Phone rings and its Layton Cook on the line

“Trent look I was just in your room and you left all your medication on your bed. Dude please tell me your doing ok and not doing anything crazy. I sent some pills they will get their before the match take places”

Trent looks at the Eddie D action figure and does the Shhh! Finger to the mouth

“Trent I am serious you are doing so well don’t make the judge think she was right about you.”

“Dont worry We are just visiting the white tower.”

“Who is We? Who is with you Trent?”

“Your breaking up …. Bad...call…later”

Trent held up the action figure again. “Why didn't you tell him you were hanging out with me Trent.. Scared he was going to tell you I was going to kick your ass?”

“Listen you little fucker, I just didn't want to listen to him tell me to not kill you.”

A family of 4 is just watching Trent talk to the action figure and listening to him speaking for the action figure. The oldest child starts taking pictures of it all. Trent doesn't notice and continues to argue with the toy.

“Well why don't we finish the rumble right here… whoever tosses the other one from the top of this tower will be the real man. What do you say little bitch?”

Trent pulls out a needle and tries to stick it into Eddie’s arm but as he is pushing it pokes Trent Finger and he gets mad and tosses the needle and it almost hits the little kid in the family of 4. Trent is yelling and screaming. The dad wants to scream but is scared of the crazy man with a toy in his hand.

“Lets get it on you little Bitch”

Trent Grabs the action figure and slaps it on the chest. He then hits himself in the face with the hand on the action figure. He then slams down the action figure to the ground and he drops his elbow on the toy. However Trent elbow hits the hard stone and he rolls in pain as he grabs the action figure and he pokes himself in the eye. Trent is fucking angry now.

“You dirty little fucker!”
Trent and the action figure are now against the stone edge and Trent puts his back to the ground and he has the action figure pushing on his face. Trent looks to be giving it his all as he puts one leg over the edge. The family of 4 is screaming for him to stop. Trent starts shaking and he puts his arm up and he grabs the edge and pulls his leg back over. Trent Grabs the action figure and tosses Eddie D over the edge.

The video feed zooms in on the action figure of Eddie D laying on the ground. Trent is standing on the edge and he has his arms up in the air like he just won a real match against Eddie D. The family of 4 head down leaving Trent alone. Trent looks over the edge and tries to spit on the action figure but it misses.

“I told you little fucker that little Eddie D was less of a man then Trent Jones.”

Trent continues to celebrate and scream swear words down at Eddie D action figure. Trent heads back down as the camera skips ahead to Trent tying a string around Eddie D and hooking it to the back of his motorcycle.

“Now its time to ride with the big dog… Fuck you Eddie D… Fuck you.” Trent spits on the toy as he starts his bike. Trent looks back and he drives off.

The video feed cuts out as White Trash Renegade hits the speakers Trents motorcycle and Trent comes roaring out of the entrance area. Some of the fans cheer and many boo as Trent Makes his way to the ring. Trent Parks the bike and behind it is a very chewed up Eddie D action figure.

Trent rolls into the ring with the action figure and he lays him down in the center of the ring. Trent calls for a microphone and it is flipped to him in the ring. Trent catches it and he still has that un medicated look to him.

“Greek and Geeks it is Me… Trent Jones… Mr. Bones… and last night I defeated Eddie D in a rumble on a tower and then I scored with some greek chick last night… problem was we was doing a little 69 action and her nose almost entered my ass… and I don't play that shit.”

The fans seem very unsure of how to respond to that. Trent continues to talk crazy.

“I am the best of the best here in SWAT and I demand this place start showing me some fucking respect… if not I might decide to just stop coming to shows. But tonight you fans will be disappointed to see that Trent Jones and Eddie D match is canceled the man is lying dead in the ring.”

Just then a younger guy walks out with a package and he slides in the ring. Trent grabs him and shakes him and the package.
“What the fuck are you doing out here… do you want to die?” the man shakes his head no.

“Layton Cook sent me to deliver your pills he said if you do anything stupid you may go to prison.”

“Does it look like I am doing anything stupid?”

The delivery person looks at the action figure and then at Trent… “Not at all sir…. I am a huge fan.”

Trent lets him go and opens the package and puts the pills in his pocket and then he pins the action figure and demands the delivery man counts.

………………….1……………………...2………………………..3

Trent stands up and gets on his motorcycle as White Trash Renegade plays as he heads to the back.

[thejerseydevildiva]

Act 1: On the Island of the Gods

"The Isle of the Gods, a place of beauty and darkness all within one place. But if you need a place to relax it's the perfect spot."

The scene opens on the beautiful city of Athens. The city was full of life, and the sun was already high in the sky. The ancient sites littered the city and tourists flocked to each of them taking in the beauty of them. The smells from the local bakeries and restaurants that lined the streets drifted on the air, mixing with the fresh sea air. The camera moves over the city and soon heads out over the beautiful crystal clear water that stretched out as far the eye could see. We soon see an island off of the coast of Athens that seemed to be out of place. The island itself was beautiful and seemed to be full of life and was never touched by the winter weather. The camera moves over the island, and we see tall buildings that appeared to be massive temples that were dotted over the island. The paths that were cut through the island lead to a massive home on a hill over looking the island. Servants dressed in white togas moved around the house going about their chores, in the vast marble floored hallways, and sandstone colored walls. We move out into what appears to be a massive Olympic sized swimming pool with tall ferns sitting near the white marble walls. Sitting on two lounge chairs was a young woman with raven colored hair, and a dark two piece bikini with Joanne dressed in a deep red bikini with her long hair tied back from her face. They sit by the massive pool that shimmers in the late afternoon sun that shimmered over head through the glass roof.

Joanne: This is just what I needed before I head off to Athens.

Young Woman: My mother said you were coming this way and would need a place to stay away from the city.

Joanne: She's right. Remind me to get her somethin' Necra.

Necra smiles as her golden eyes sparkle and seem to shift to red before going back to their normal color.

Necra: Don't worry I will. Besides she's staying at the Oasis with my dad...

Joanne bursts out into laughter as she leans forward taking a drink from the glass that sat beside her on a small glass table between them.

Joanne: Gawd damn... You might not have a place to go home to.

Necra sighs as she downs the glass of the bright colored liquid that sat beside her.

Necra: I have no doubt...

Joanne: Where's you're better half?

Necra: With Johnny in his man cave. Where else would he be?

Joanne: True.

Necra: I think your boys are enjoying the island. I saw Reno this morning with Elena getting a massage.

Joanne: I have no doubt. We haven't been this relaxed in a while.

Necra: This is an island of pleasure...

Joanne: Have you seen...

Necra: My uncle? Not really. He's been here to see Stacy once and that's about it.

Joanne: Why does it not surprise me?

Necra smiles as she gets to her feet.

Necra: I have to go and check on a few things. Why don't you enjoy your stay and check out the island?

Joanne: I think I will.

Joanne gets up from were she sits and tosses on a long sundress that was done in a deep red to match the two piece bikini that she wore. Joanne walks out onto the balcony that wound its way around the whole house. She takes a deep breath and leans against the railing looking out over the island.

Joanne: It feels great to be away from the busy city, the lights, the people... It's quiet and this is such a perfect place to be. I am waited on had and foot by the servants here and I have to admit it is a nice touch. You see Linda I've been waitin' for this match for a while now. You're the only one that I see worthy enough to face me for my title. Every other Amazon has fallen short of facin' me but you... You have managed to piss me off, and made me want to face you. But just like everyone else you will fail, and I will once gain retain my title and leave you with nothin'.

Joanne smiles as she walks down the stone steps to the path that lead away from the house.

Joanne: I'm goin' to enjoy takin' you down. This match is goin' on that you will never forget, let alone walk away from in one piece or under your own power in the end. I'm not goin' to go easy on you by any means, and I am not underestimatin' you either because I know you won't underestimate me. You know what I can do in the middle of that ring, and I know what you can do. I will put an end to you no matter what you do to stop me. This is my time and my reign has yet to end. And I will end it when I say it ends. We are the Mafioso and we get paid to kick your ass! See you soon and good luck! You're goin' to need it!

Joanne laughs, and walks down the long pathway winding further into the vast expanse of forest, as the scene fades to black.

[eddied]

(Eddie D is backstage in a wrestlers only catering area and has just seen Trent Jones' promo and the pinning of Eddie's wrestling figure on a monitor. Eddie is handed a plate of food through the serving hatch and he nods acceptance open-mouthed and walks away a few steps slightly confused as to how to react. The cameraman captures the look on Eddie's face before he snaps out of it, as though he hadn't seen the cameraman there.)

EDDIE: Hell that trip to the ring by Trent sure was something... I'm almost lost for words... You kinda caught me off guard Dave.

Jeff the Cameraman: It's Jeff actually Mr D.

EDDIE: Mr D? I think you can call me Eddie we don't need to be so formal Dave.

Jeff the Cameraman: Thanks Eddie, but it's Jeff.

EDDIE: It don't matter what your name is... Can you smell what Mrs Hemlock... is cooking?
I know we're in Greece, but Mrs Hemlock ain't from Greece, she's a vicious old SWAT catering roadie from Hoboken... sometimes you should just know your role and leave the moussaka to the locals... Are you with me?

Jeff the Cameraman: If you don't want that plate of food I haven't eaten today....

(Eddie moves the plate away, tucks it under his arm and threatens Jeff with a fork he picks up from a table...)

EDDIE: Dave you never get between a fat man and his food; that's the best way to get dead, or eaten, or both.

Jeff the Cameraman: Sorry Eddie. It looks like a heavy meal before a big match...

EDDIE: Look Dave, you do the pointing and the focus stuff, I'll do the match preparation and the fighting stuff. Together we'll make this Federation look real professional and classy right?

Jeff the Cameraman: OK. But why do you even need a camera guy. I thought your promo in the ring said everything that needed saying.

EDDIE: You know Dave, I like you, but you don't know shit about wrestling... If you did you'd realize that a pro wrestler's work is never over. You have to plug the merchandise sales, you have to tackle ugly rumors that hit social media when they crop up, you have to do meet and greets with the fans, you have to do network shows to encourage mainstream crossover sales, it's not all arse kickings and shouting into a microphone. 

Jeff the Cameraman: I knew that... So how do you want to shoot it?

EDDIE: This one is going to be informal and just going out from my website and YouTube page and prep for a food show I am doing back in the states. The SWAT and XHF guys will hashtag me up and do all the linking and sharing stuff that bumps the views up.
Now I need you to give me your best work right. You're helping me with the edit before this goes out... You're not going to make me look like a slack jawed fatty when you film this right?

Jeff the Cameraman: As sure as my name's Dave, you'll get my best work I promise.

EDDIE: Thank you. You're not the idiot I took you for. It's nice to be surprised every now and then.

(Jeff sets up the camera and films Eddie as requested... Jeff takes some footage of Eddie wolfing down the last of his plate of food for use in the edit later. The final cut of the promo is played for the arena screens and the viewers at home. The scene opens with Eddie hurriedly eating his moussaka with a soundtrack of a squealing pig eating slop played over it. Then you see 10 second preview trailer for Eddie's new food network show.)



EDDIE: Hello fans, just a quick update before my big grudge match with Trent Jones tonight.
There have been slanderous and libelous comments about me taking growth hormones and steroids to reach this size and strength.
Well that's just not true. I have never had a problem with bulking up. Gaining weight has never been my problem.
I used to go to the gym to work out... to work out how I could look good without lifting all those weights... then I got friends and coaches that helped me with the right regime and I am now the wrestling machine you see before you. 
Once you get to a certain physique and poundage in the squared circle, well quantity has a quality all its own. If you can barely lift me you won't be slamming me or suplexing me that often before you blow up. I will always be more violent and have more resolve and determination than the next guy. I can promise you that.

I don't take HGH, JCB, or TLC, I don't inject any drugs, I don't even take that greater care of myself. I am not selling the vitamins and prayers at bed time image folks, so I won't insult your intelligence by asking you to buy that.
I am a hard drinking, big meal eating, lady chasing, hard hitting son of a bitch and there's no shrinkage or sex drive issues at Casa Del 'D'.

It also seems that I am not alone... in not taking drugs. Sadly for Trent it appears he SHOULD be taking prescribed drugs but he isn't. Metal illness is a political correctness hot potato right now. This will be one of the few times I have turned down carbs in some considerable time, but I won't be talking too much about the frailties of the mind and societies fucked up approach to dealing with it.

You're mental issues won't change the result tonight, but thanks for sharing in your own style and brand of insanity. Even off the meds I assure you that I am still more intense and brutally primal than you will ever be. Even if you take a fist full of those pills you will still not be as focused or as technically brilliant in the ring as I am. On the pills, balanced and ready, or off the meds and unpredictable; you are still not as good as THE Big Deal Eddie D.

I envy a man who know's why he's nuts though. I still don't have a diagnosis but I know I have same fucked up daemons rattling around in this head. I sure as hell ain't gonna have a therapist knock the fight out of me with anger management bullshit or a bucket of pills. Remember buddy with the pills you're still an areshole and without the pills... well, you're never alone with paranoia? Every cloud has a silver lining... and the potential to make you look like a pathetic drowned rat too, so prepare for both outcomes and life won't bite too hard.

And as time is fleeting, and we are finally approaching the premier tier of the mid-card, I will quickly say... Thanks for the plug of my new SWAT wrestling action figure Mr Bones. I couldn't have promoted the new figure any better myself. This piece of art in plastic, hand-painted in the most ethical sweatshop in China, is sold in all good toy stores and shit-ton of the bad ones too no doubt. Who knew that 8 inches of plastic could bring this much pleasure to so many?



Thank you all for listening and don't forget kids that illegal drugs are bad and legal taxable drugs are awesome.
Don't eat your greens, just wait for your mum to fall asleep and hit the drinks cabinet like I did. The kindergarten years just flew by.

(Eddie lights a cigar and puffs out a huge smoke ring.)



Mmmm... Nectur.
And finally... when it comes to imitating the wrestling holds and violence seen on your screens tonight, please be sensible... start with your toddler siblings first and build up to power-bombing your big brother later. You don't want to pull a muscle.

Please like, share, comment and subscribe, buy merch at BringItOn.com and don't forget to send in your complaint tweets to the SWAT office with the hashtag #MaineventEddie.

(The video fades to black)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Coming up next fans is an anticipated tag team match between the Indian Express and the debuting La Famiglia managed by the legendary European wrestling sensation Gorgeous Greg.

Andrew Fulton: Gorgeous Greg is very popular here in Greece, so expect a big "Oopa!" when he comes out.

Jeremy Tucker: The Indian Express are looking to score a win to get back in the good graces of the KGB.

Andrew Fulton: A stable I am unofficial part of...

Jeremy Tucker: You are not.

Andrew Fulton: I said unofficial didn't I?

["Nimbooda Nimbooda" hits and a massive elephant begin walking out the entrance. The fans boo as the elephant trumpets it's mighty cry]

Andrew Fulton: Oh bugger, that scared me so bad I swallowed my cigarette. Help me, Jerry! Apply the Heimlich!

Jeremy Tucker: Not a chance.

[The elephant begins walking down to the ring with Rajiv Khan and Mohammad Khan on his back]

Jeremy Tucker: We last saw the Indian Express in New York when they competed in the rumble in January. Before that Rajiv Khan lost a match to Eddie D in Charlotte at New Year's Nightmare. At Hardkore Helloween in North Carolina, The Indian Express helped "The Mad Dog of Melbourne" Paul Soutter win his barbed wire battle royal.

Andrew Fulton: Soutter needed no help, and they were handsomely paid for it anyway.

Jeremy Tucker: By being thrown into the barbed wire?!

Andrew Fulton: Handsomely thrown into barbed wire. By a very handsome man, Paul Soutter.

[Rajiv Khan and Mohammad Khan stand up, and pose for the booing Athens fans. Then the Indian Express runs down the elephant's and sommersaults over the ropes into the ring]

Andrew Fulton: (clapping) Wow! It's like Cirque Du Soleil, but someone is about to be beaten to a pulp. Hum Dil De is the Shakira of India Jerry.

Frank Salazar: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Featuring first from Mumbai India; They stand 5 feet 11 inches tall; Weighing 219 pounds...MOHAMMAD KHAN!! RAJIV KHAN!! They are THE INDIAN EXPRESS!!!"

[The Olympic Stadium boos as The Indian Express poses. Then Gorgeous Greg leads Stefano Esposito and Antonio Rossi out to a huge ovation. They hug and hit each other on the chest. They shout "Andiamo!" as "Con Te Partirò" by Andrea Bocelli plays then the pyros explode. Rossi and Esposito jog down to the ring giving high fives to the fans. A particularly overzealous Greek fan hugs Gorgeous Greg]

Andrew Fulton: Someone taze him!

Jeremy Tucker: Would you stop, they love him here in Greece where he has held many championships all over Europe. Now he's using that experience to take La Famiglia straight to the top of tag team wrestling.

Andrew Fulton: The top is currently taken by the SWAT World Tag Team Champions Team Fairtex and has been since they beat Hells Destruction for them in Philadelphia back in September.

Frank Salazar: "And their opponents are accompanied to the ring by their manager Gorgeous Greg! They are from Milan, Italy; Standing 5 feet 8 inches tall; Weighing 228 pounds; STEFANO ESPOSITO!! His partner Stands 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 220 pounds...ANTONIO ROSSI!! They are LA FAMIGLIA!!!"

[The Greek fans let out an earsplitting pop!!]

Andrew Fulton: Jesus Christ, you would think Zeus put on a pair of spandex.

Jeremy Tucker: Gorgeous Greg and La Famiglia very popular here in Greece.

[Tommy Milligan signals for the bell as Frank Salazar and Gorgeous Greg leave the ring. Rajiv Khan and Antonio Rossi elect to start out]

Jeremy Tucker: Rossi and Khan lock up in a collar elbow tie up. Antonio Rossi grabs an armbar on Rajiv.

[Khan goes down to one knee from the pain, as Antonio Rossi cranks up on his shoulder and trapped elbow. Rajiv Khan stands up and uses his free arm to tomahawk chop Rossi on the top of his head]

Andrew Fulton: Rajiv Khan with another chop, this one to Rossi's chest to escape the armbar.

Jeremy Tucker: Antonio Rossi ducks another chop and atomic drops him into Mohammad Khan, knocking him off the apron!!

Andrew Fulton: Oh, come on! Mohammad Khan was doing nothing wrong, and was blatantly attacked for being a good looking prince.

[The Athens fans cheer as Mohammad Khan lays in a heap on the floor while Gorgeous Greg applauds on the outside]

Jeremy Tucker: Rajiv Khan staggers back into Antonio Rossi who headbutts him and then drops him with a DDT!

[The audience pops and Antonio Rossi climbs to the top turnbuckle. He dives off with a headbutt that catches Rajiv Khan between the eyes!! He reaches out and tags in Stefano Esposito]

Jeremy Tucker: La Famiglia irish whip Rajiv Khan into the ropes and double clothesline him!

[Stefano Esposito pulls Rajiv up into a front facelock, and then rolls him into a neckbreaker! Khan sits up clutching the back of his neck]

Jeremy Tucker: Rajiv Khan getting to his feet, but Stefano Esposito karate chops his back. He hits his back with a hard double ax handle.

Andrew Fulton: Stefano Esposito pulls Khan's head into his legs, lifts him, and drills his head into the mat with a piledriver!!

[The Olympic Arena cheers and starts chanting "LA FAMIGLIA! LA FAMIGLIA! LA FAMIGLIA!" Gorgeous Greg motions for Esposito to make the cover]

Referee: 1...2...(Mohammad Khan stomps the back of Esposito's head)

Jeremy Tucker: Mohammad saving his cousin there.

Andrew Fulton: That's right, they're family.

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan forces Mohammad back to his corner, and Stefano Esposito irish whips Rajiv into the ropes. Khan slides through Esposito's legs and tags in Mohammad.

[Stefano Esposito lays down across the top turnbuckle and ropes, pretending to yawn and sleep]

Andrew Fulton: Oh, cocky bugger, isn't he? We'll just see about that.

Jeremy Tucker: Stefano Esposito gets down and ducks a roundhouse kick from Mohammad Khan and german suplexes him!

Referee: 1...(Mohammad Khan gets his shoulder up)

Jeremy Tucker: Esposito shoots Mohammad into the ropes and catches him with a huracanrana!!

[The fans cheer and Esposito tags in Antonio Rossi. Esposito scoops Mohammad Khan up and drops him into a backbreaker as Rossi comes off the ropes with an elbow drop! The cheers get louder]

Jeremy Tucker: Antonio Rossi grabs Mohammad Khan by the legs, steps through them, and turns him over into a sharpshooter!

[The Athens audience applauds as Rossi pulls back on Khan's twisted legs. Tommy Milligan checks in to see if Mohammad wants to tap]

Andrew Fulton: Come on, Mohammad! Stay in there. Do it for your elephant that has been swiping my Beernuts this entire match.

[The elephant tries to snake some more]

Andrew Fulton: I said enough, Sabu!

Jeremy Tucker: Mohammad Khan crawls over to the side of the ring and grabs the ropes, so Tommy Milligan forces Antonio Rossi to release the sharpshooter.

Andrew Fulton: Finally!

Jeremy Tucker: But how much damage has been done? Antonio Rossi lifts him up, traps his leg, and then kneebreaker atomic drops the leg.

[Khan cries out in pain, and tries to stagger away. Rossi lifts Khan up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry and then drops him into a samoan drop]

Jeremy Tucker: Antonio Rossi tags in Stefano Esposito and sits Mohammad Khan on the top turnbuckle. Rossi climbs to the second rope and superplexes Khan and Stefano Esposito comes off the top with another diving headbutt!!

[Rajiv Khan tries to enter the ring, but Gorgeous Greg pulls his leg, tripping him and making him fall facefirst onto the floor]

Andrew Fulton: Hey, he can't do that! Disqualify him Milligan!

Jeremy Tucker: Antonio Rossi bearhugs Mohammad Khan as Stefano Esposito comes off the ropes with a running clothesline!! Andiamo!

Referee: 1...2...3!!!

["Con Te Partirò" by Andrea Bocelli plays and the Greek fans leap to their feet and Gorgeous Greg slides into the ring and raises La Famiglia's arms]

Andrew Fulton: Gorgeous Greg should be fined and suspended for putting his hands on a wrestler.

Jeremy Tucker: He was tired of the Indian Express' interference and was looking out for his team.

Andrew Fulton: Bollocks.

Frank Salazar: "THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH...LA FAMIGLIA!!!"

Jeremy Tucker: La Famiglia score an important first victory as they try to get into contention for the SWAT World Tag Team Champions Team Fairtex.

Andrew Fulton: Never gonna happen...

[The elephant Sabu starts playing with Andrew Fulton's hair]

Andrew Fulton: Not now, Sabu!!

[SWAT Team]

Hate or Glory" by Gesaffelstein hits and Rally Jackson and Tuxedo Mask make their way down the ramp way. Rally is taking his time and looks seriously out of shape, he gets in the ring and struts around in a confident manner and then cracks his own neck and the ref approaches him and starts patting him down. Tux sits on the top turnbuckle cross legged.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Rio de Janeiro. Coming in at 6’1 and 300 pounds .... representing the Society of the New Breed .... THE GOLDEN GOD ..... RALLY JACKSON!!! And his tag team partner, hailing from Tokushima, Japan. Coming in at 5’8 and 185 pounds ....representing the Society of the New Breed .... TUXEDO MASK!!!

Killing in the name of hits and the two 7ft giants Doomsday and Lucifer make their way out to the rampway. They power walk in tandem to the ring and both step over the top rope to enter the ring.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from No the depths of hell.. Coming in atcombined weight of 720 pounds .... Lucifer and Doomsday .... SATANS DISCIPLES!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Coming up now, we have a big tag team match, last Battleground Doomsday alluded to his retirement, but some encouragement from Goth and Management have swung him around, and he is still here, planning on taking it to a new level with Lucifer!

Andrew Fulton : They better be upping it a level, they are now stepping in the ring with The Society of the New Breed.

Jeremy Tucker : The tag scene is really picking up here in SWAT, Team Fairtex have their hands full to hold on to them belts, either of these teams could tag the gold from them, and then we have the big Anzac Cup looming.

Andrew Fulton : Don’t get carried away Jerry, i mean, these teams are o-k, but Team Fairtex, they have been on a role and will make mince meat of either these teams and Goth and Vampira later tonight, and anyone else who wants to have a crack at them.

Jeremy Tucker : You been drinking too much of the KGB cool aide, they are good, but so are both these teams. Referee Vick Mackey calls for the bell and we are under way. Rally starting it off for the Society, and Lucifer for the Disciples. Rally gets on the early offensive, with a nice rolling leg lock, taking the big man down.

Andrew Fulton : Everyone is the same size when they are laying on the mat clutching at their ankle Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Rally torques the ankle of Lucifer, then reaches out while holding it in place, and tags in Tux. Tuxedo Mask enters the ring with a flying plancha onto Lucifer.

Andrew Fulton : Rally heads to the outside for a breather, what is this guy doing associating with the likes of the Society, he should be vying for Jonnie and Sybs gold, not holding hands with Tux.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux is a great wrestler, and he and Rally make a very formidable duo, by the looks of Rally, he could do with a partner to help carry his load. Lucifer crawls for the ropes to get to help him up and Tux nails him with a 619.

Andrew Fulton : He was doing just fine in singles since he returned.

Jeremy Tucker : You’re just biased against the Society. Tux springboards off the ropes, but big Lucifer catches him, on one knee he caught him. He powers to his feet and drills Tux into the mat with a reverse chokeslam.

Andrew Fulton : Wowee! The big man lays the boots to Tux, then tags in Doomsday. Doomsday enters and he too lays in some boots to Tux, then powers him up, and a big fall away slam!

Jeremy Tucker : These giants are too big for Tux. He is seriously outmatched here in both height and weight.

Andrew Fulton : And POWER! Doomsday whips Tux into the ropes and goes for a tilt a whirl but Tux catches his head in his legs and rolls it into a beautiful hurracanranna!

Jeremy Tucker : Tux has the speed advantage though! And agility. He bounces off the ropes and hits a drop kick to the knee, then makes a quick tag to Rally and Tuxedo Mask hits a tuxbuster then Rally does a cartwheel into a splash on fallen Doomsday. Cover by Rally, Mackey with the count ...............

One .........................

Two ............. Doomsday powers out.

Andrew Fulton : Kick out with Authority, and Rally is a big man these days to throw away like that.

Jeremy Tucker : So i noticed that earlier, that Frostbite made a deal with his old cronnies here the Disciples, and they agreed to escort him to the ring, but then come match time, they were nowhere to be seen, what was with that you think Fulton?

Andrew Fulton : Well, firstly, Frosty doesn’t need these clowns now, he has the Bandits now. He can’t seem to let them go though, i mean, its like he cheated on his wife, got the new hotter younger model, but still cant stop calling on the old ex either.

Jeremy Tucker : Maybe, but that’s him, why didn’t THEY come to him?

Andrew Fulton : I don’t know, ask them. Doomsday and Rally now duking it out. And look, speak of the devil, here comes Frostbite to ringside. This guy has pulled the trigger on his relationship with them, but he just can’t seem to bury them in the dirt yet.

Jeremy Tucker : Doomsday delivers a Stinger splash to Rally, he then whips him into the opposite corner, and yells at Frostbite to get out of here. He runs in for another Stinger Splash, but Rally gets a boot up and then tags in Tux.

Andrew Fulton : Tuxedo Mask puts on the tuxmission as Rally grabs the leg and does a heel hook. Doomsday in a double submission!

Jeremy Tucker : Lucifer runs in the ring, and drops a leg on Tux.

Andrew Fulton : Rally then grabs Lucifer and drops him with a Sorry Miss Jackson (dominator) I am For Real (lifted back up into a package piledriver)!!!

Jeremy Tucker : He got the big man up for that, amazing!

Andrew Fulton : BLACK HOLE SLAM!! Doomsday with a Black Hole Slam on Rally.

Jeremy Tucker : Doomsday grabs Tux by the throat, and Tux tries to fight him off, he walks up the ropes and breaks out of the choke grabbing the arm of Doomsday and Armbar ropewalk into a la majistral cradle!

Andrew Fulton : Mackey with the count ............

Jeremy Tucker : One ...............

Two ...............

Lucifer breaks the pin. Lucifer then grabs Tux and delivers a mad Razors Edge. Mackey has lost all control in there.

Andrew Fulton : Rally back to his feet, hooks Lucifer and plants him with a firemans carry into a slam! He backs up ... STINK FACE to Lucifer!

Jeremy Tucker : Rally Jackson busting out the Stink Face. Tux climbs his shoulders ... NOOOOOO! Frostbite just jumped on the apron and swung a chair for a home run, connecting to the head of Tux and sending him flying to the outside in a heap. Mackey saw it! He is calling for the bell!

Andrew Fulton : What’s going on?

Jeremy Tucker : Mackey leans out of the ropes and speaks to Frank, Tux is in a heap out cold on the floor.

Frank Salazar : (after speaking with Mackey) Winner of the match, by disqualification ... THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!

Andrew Fulton : Satan’s Disciples are livid! Frostbite just cost them the match.

Jeremy Tucker : They are venting their frustration to Frostbite, and he is telling them to get Rally. Rally snatches the chair from him and takes a big swing, and Frostbite ducks under it and high tails it out of there.

Andrew Fulton : Doomsday and Lucifer watch Frostbite take off and are throwing their hands up in the air in frustration. Did he mean to get them dq’d Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : You’ll have to ask him, how do i know what he wanted?

Andrew Fulton : Well, another win to the Society, and another loss to Satan’s Disciples. We’ll be right back folks.
[/i]

[SWAT Team]

Skippy McScoop: Skippy McScoop here at the SWAT Live Event Center! We are barnstorming through Europe this month, so make sure you catch SWAT action live when it comes through your country.

Join us in Ankara, Turkey where Frostbite and Christian Sebastian Kennedy will be appearing and "The Jersey Devil Diva" Joanne Canelli will put her SWAT Amazons title on the line!

Then we head to Belgrade, Serbia where "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine will be defending his SWAT World Championship, along with a 20 man over the top battle royal!

Next we stop in Vienna, Austria where you can see Timeless, El Combatiente, and the SWAT World Tag Team Champions Team Fairtex!

The SWAT International Championship is on the line when 110% Syberus comes into Budapest, Hungary along with appearances by Eddie D, "Lucky" Linda La Fey, and Hayden Callhan!

Then SWAT World Champion "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine will be in Prague in The Chech Republic along with "The Golden God" Rally Jackson, Trent Jones, Satan's Disciples, and Savage!

Get your tickets now before they're gone! SWAT's European Tour storms through your country this month, be there!

[Fade out to Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton at ringside at the Olympic Stadium in Athens, Greece]

Jeremy Tucker: Coming up fans, we have a match that has the chance to be a real puncher's delight.

Andrew Fulton: I got sick on those drinks in Brisbane once. (stubs out his cigarette) True story. I had about 8 when I decided to back in the kitchen and cook me up some eggs...

Jeremy Tucker: Both Eddie D and Trent Jones were unable to wrest the SWAT International Championship from 110% Syberus in that thrilling ladder match in Paris. Now they take each other on one on one.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones and Eddie D were really laying in those shots in France, now we get to see these two monsters tear apart Greece.

[The Olympic Stadium's lights go out as static is heard on the screen. Then an explosion at the entrance goes off and a dark blue spot light shines on the stage as White Trash Renegade starts playing throughout the arena. Trent Jones steps out wearing black cargo pants and a White Tank top that says Mr Bones on it. Trent is wearing black MMA style gloves and he has on a black hat that says Killin It]

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones' debuted in SWAT at Hardkore Helloween in North Carolina. Since then he has defeated former Hardkore Japan Junior Heavyweight Champion Tuxedo Mask in New York City, then beat the disgraced Duke Kosloff in a dumpster match in Greensboro. He's been on a tear as of late, and is hoping a big win here could put him in line for another shot at 110% Syberus or SWAT World Champion "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine.

Andrew Fulton: He'd introduce the front of Jonnie's face to the back of his skull in my opinion.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones vows he will prove he is the definitive big man here in SWAT.

Andrew Fulton: Oi, what about me??

Jeremy Tucker: Big, not obese.

Andrew Fulton: Ah, but that leaves me as the definitive obese man in SWAT, right?

Jeremy Tucker: That's still Rally Jackson. Trent Jones is tired of being on early matches and is hoping for some title opportunities and a win over Eddie D could definitely put him in line for that.

[As Trent Jones walks slowly to the ring he stretches his neck and shoulders and talks shit to the fans as he make his way to the ring]

Frank Salazar "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Featuring first, from Wherever He Damn Well Pleases; Standing 6 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 354 pounds...TRENT JONES!!!"

[The Athens crowd boos and jeers as Jones holds up his arms and sneers. "Cave" by Muse plays and Eddie D walks out with a black and white montage video playing on the screens of him weight training and hitting his favorite moves on people, flashing up in negative to the beat of the music. He threatens a couple of rowdy fans, and then sees a poster of Eddie Deezen that says "Eddie D's Dad"]

Andrew Fulton: Neither man really endearing himself to the local Greek population here.

[Eddie D tears up the fan's poster, making the Olympic Stadium rock with boos. Then he points and says "Look! It's Helen of Troy!" at an old lady. Eddie D walks confidently and slowly to the ring]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D was spotted by none other than Hulk Hogan when he was working as a bouncer. The two became firm friends...

Andrew Fulton: That means he got his weed for him and fed his dogs when he was shooting a pilot.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie is a former IWA World Heavyweight Champion and a TV Champion in the EIWF and ICW. He debuted in SWAT at the rumble in New York.

Frank Salazar: "His opponent is from Vernon, California; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 300 pounds...EDDIE D!!!"

[Eddie D raises his hands to accept the praise he feels he is due, but just gets boos. As Frank Salazar steps out of the ring, and referee Tommy Milligan signals for the bell]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D and Trent Jones lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up. They jockey for position.

Andrew Fulton: This is usually a formality with other wrestlers, but with these two, they're trying to prove who's the strongest, early.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D pulls Jones down into a front facelock.

Andrew Fulton: He must have picked that up from his bouncing days. It's amazing these two didn't run into each other back then.

[Eddie D clamps his hands together and pulls back on Trent Jones' head. Trent Jones backs him into the corner and then slips his head out]

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones, Mr Bones, choking Eddie D in the corner. He stands up on the second rope to get more leverage, as Tommy Milligan makes the count.

[Trent Jones breaks as Milligan gets to four. He pulls Eddie D out of the corner by the arm, but Eddie yanks him into a shortarm clothesline that puts Jones down on one knee]

Andrew Fulton: He almost got the big man down!

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D grabs Trent Jones' arm in a hammerlock. He pulls up on Jones' wrist, cranking up on that chicken winged arm.

[The Greek audience boos as Tommy Milligan checks in to see if Jones gives up. Jones shakes his head and then back elbows Eddie in the face to get him to release the hammerlock]

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones with a stiff kick to Eddie's ribs. Another one. And another one to the ribcage.

Andrew Fulton: Jones now grabs Eddie D in a bearhug. Eddie D is used to being the bigger man in his matches, but Trent Jones has 6 inches and 50 pounds on him.

[Trent Jones clasps his hands together on Eddie's lower back, and squeezes him against Jones' massive chest, constricting his breathing. Once again, Tommy Milligan sees if Eddie wants to quit]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D finally does an ear clap to ring Jones' bell, and escape the bearhug.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D irish whips Trent Jones into the corner, and then follows him in with a big back elbow!

[The Olympic Stadium boos. Eddie D sneers at them, and then runs Trent Jones' eyes along the top rope! Jones winces and covers his eye]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie shoots Jones into the corner again, he charges in but this time Trent is waiting for him with a big boot!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones now using the ropes for leverage as he stands all 354 pounds on Eddie's throat.

[The audience jeers as Tommy Milligan counts until four, and then Jones steps off of Eddie's throat. Tommy tells him he better start listening to him, but Jones just flinches at him and Tommy runs for the hills]

Andrew Fulton: Let the man do his work, Milligan!

Jeremy Tucker: Tommy Milligan is a respected official, and Trent Jones would do well to listen to his instructions or he could be leaving with the loser's share of the purse.

Andrew Fulton: I'd like to see him try.

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones pulls Eddie D up into an inverted facelock, and then drops him into a reverse DDT!

Referee: 1...2...(Eddie D kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones irish whips Eddie into the ropes, and dips down for a backdrop, but Eddie D catches him looking with a kneelift. He tries to lift Trent Jones up...

Andrew Fulton: Oh, bollocks, he can't get him.

Jeremy Tucker: Yes he does, he gets him up and over with a bodyslam!

[The Athens fans got to give it up for that and Eddie D gets a round of applause. Eddie D seems a little impressed himself, and then snaps out of it and grabs a reverse chinlock]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D using that massive arm to cut off Trent's windpipe, as he cinches in that reverse chinlock.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones working his way back to his feet, with Eddie still hanging on to that reverse chinlock.

Jeremy Tucker: Jones elbows Eddie in the stomach, another elbow and he breaks free of the chinlock. He irish whips Eddie into the ropes and hits him with a hard clothesline that takes him off his feet.

[The crowd boos. He pulls Eddie D up into a front facelock of his own, but Eddie grabs Trent's legs and flattens him with a spinebuster]

Andrew Fulton: Wow!

Referee: 1...2...(Trent Jones kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D pulls Jones up to his feet, but Jones kicks him between the uprights with a kick! Come on!

Andrew Fulton: That's legal in Greece, Jerry.

[Tommy Milligan threatens to disqualify Trent Jones but he blows him off and pulls Eddie's head into his legs. He pulls him up and drills Eddie's head into the mat with a piledriver]

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones pulls him up into a side headlock, and runs for a bulldog, but Eddie pushes him off into the ropes and Jones comes back into a mule kick!

[Eddie D moves in and grinds his shin into Jones' throat while holding the ropes for balance, Tommy Milligan counts up to five, and then forcibly pulls Eddie off of him. Eddie D yells back "Come on, it was an accident. I couldn't get up!"]

Andrew Fulton: Yeah, it was an accident, Tommy.

Jeremy Tucker: I don't believe a word of that, and poor Tommy is has got alot on his plate trying to control these two.

Andrew Fulton: Oh, bugger that. Who wants them controlled??

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D pulls him up into a front waistlock, but can't get Jones over in the belly to belly suplex. Jones brings his knee up into Eddie's groin! Come on!

Andrew Fulton: These two blokes are cut from the same cloth, I love it!

[The Greek fans boo loudly, and Trent Jones grabs Eddie in a front facelock and drills his head into the mat with a DDT]

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones applies a triangle choke. He uses those massive tree trunk like legs to squeeze Eddie's head like a vice, while pulling down on that trapped arm.

[Eddie D shakes his head, refusing to tap out to Tommy Milligan. Eddie D is able to slip out of it and tries to throw a punch, but Jones reapplies it]

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones wearing the big man down.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D able to get to the ropes, and Tommy Milligan forces Jones to break the triangle choke.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D pulls himself up by the ropes but Trent Jones charges in like a bull and spears him out of his boots!!

Referee: 1...2...(Eddie D kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones shoots Eddie D into the ropes but Eddie hits him with a shoulderblock that knocks both men to their feet!

[Tommy Milligan lays in the count for both men as they lie next to one another]

Referee: 1!

Andrew Fulton: That was like two mack trucks making a head on collision.

Referee: 2!

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D starting to stir, as Trent Jones is trying to catch his breath.

Referee: 3!

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D the first to his feet, and he catches a rising Trent Jones with a swinging neckbreaker.

[The audience boos as Trent Jones sits up, clutching the back of his neck. Eddie D pulls him up and backs him into the corner]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D choking Trent Jones with his boot in the corner. Tommy Milligan laying the count and Eddie finally breaks.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D tries to suplex him, but Trent Jones is too big for that, and Jones counters with a suplex of his own!

[Trent Jones irish whips Eddie D into the ropes, Eddie ducks a clothesline, full nelsons Jones and then sits out with a bubba bomb]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D measuring Trent Jones for his stunner, the Headache From Hell...but Jones avoids and pushes him into the ropes. He hits him with a jump kick that sends Eddie D over the ropes to the floor!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones probably saved himself right there. He steps through the ropes to the floor, and finds Eddie in the aisle way with a left hook to the jaw.

Crowd: Boo!

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D answers with a forearm smash across the face.

Crowd: Boo!

Jeremy Tucker: The audiences usually cheer one and boo the other, but neither man particularly popular here in Greece.

Andrew Fulton: This is the slugfest I've been waiting for!

Jeremy Tucker: Trent Jones catches Eddie D under the chin with an uppercut.

Crowd: Boo!

Andrew Fulton: Eddie snaps a jab to Jones' eye!

Crowd: Boo!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones slugs Eddie D with right hook to the temple.

Crowd: Boo!

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie D hammering Trent Jones with punches, chasing him up the ramp.

[The bell rings as Tommy Milligan waves off the match]

Jeremy Tucker: These two have been counted out, but I don't think they care.

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones ducks a punch and then gets a running start and superman punches Eddie D, knocking him through the curtain to the back

Frank Salazar: "Referee Tommy Milligan has counted both men out, this match is A DRAW!"

Andrew Fulton: Eddie D and Trent Jones still brawling back into the locker room!

Jeremy Tucker: Someone's going to have to break them up.

Andrew Fulton: Not i!

[Lucky Linda]

”Hello there SWAT, and welcome to another edition of, ‘Letters with Linda’.” Linda is sitting at a desk in the back wearing a Wanna Get Lucky t shirt. “You know what SWAT?” asks Linda.

“It’s funny isn’t it, one minute your on top of the world winning a tourney, Two Million Dollars to boot in prize money, the next, you are taking the three count to protect some new flavour of the month who of course quits cause their team lost.” Linda yawns. “See ya later Dawn Bringers, while you cry in your cereal about the injustice of losing to the KGB, remember one thing, before they beat US” She says the word US with scorn and disdain “Before they beat US, I, beat YOU Albion, to secure the No Mans Land Crown!” Linda stares into the camera. “Remember THAT in your next fed that you land in and want the world handed to you on a platter. Me, I’ll be right here, plugging away, taking the Wins with Loses. Of course more wins than loses, too be sure, too be sure.”

“Let’s have a look what that letters are about this week shall we? Dear Linda” reads Linda “Have you got your money yet from Zoran? I think it is appalling that they are holding out on you, and you should seek legal counsel regarding this matter. Love, Gerri.”

“Well Gerri, i will tell you, i have not seen a penny yet, as we just went over on Suits Suite. Have no fear though, i know things will sort themselves out. I have faith in myself, in SWAT and in the Universe. If Zoran Sainovich thinks he can swindle me out of what is mine, and then divert us in booking mixed matches with Roxylishus and Timeless, he is sadly mistaken, and speaking of, do i have a great tag team partner in mind for that match, watch this space” she whispers.

“Dear Linda. I see you lost to the KGB in Paris. You make me sick, always so happy and phony, i am glad they took you down a rung or two, you had it coming. I hope Joanne tears you to shreds in Greece. Love Annie.”

“Wow.” Linda looks shocked. “Annie, are you ok? Are you ok Annie?” Linda shakes her head. “Look Annie. The KGB, they are a vile and unruly bunch. They thrive in chaos and weight of numbers, come my match shortly with Joanne Canelli, i will come out triumphant, and as of now, i am going to dedicate my impending victory to you Annie.”

“Dear Linda.” Linda moves on. “Are you going to enter the Anzac Cup? If so, who is going to be your partner? Love Avery.”

“Avery?” Reads Linda. “The Avery? Surely not. But, now that you mention it, yes, i am going to enter the Anzac Cup, as for who my tag team partner will be, well, you will just have to wait and see like everyone else, i have a few suitors, and one in particular that i am taking a fancy too, so again, watch this space” whispers Linda.

“Dear Linda. I can’t wait to see you beat Joanne Canelli to a pulp, you are my favourite wrestler and she has been coasting as Amazons Champ for far too long, and when you beat her and become Champion, it will be a glorious day. Love Meltzer” Shaking her head laughing, “Ohh Dave, you are too much. You know what, i can’t wait to beat her either. She has been coasting, living off the KGB, i intend to bring that belt back home with me tonight, and when i do, I will dedicate it to not only Annie tonight, but you also.”

Linda stares into the camera “Joanne. Tonight. You are mine! That Amazons Belt! It’s MINE! I have had held it before, and i WANT IT BACK! So, you got to ask yourself Joanne, Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya? PUNK?”

[King Syberus]

[ We open on the SWAT International Champion, 110% Syberus walking down the street with the SWAT International title belt over his shoulder, like regular people do. 110% Syberus is wearing his new black t-shirt with multicoloured percents signs all over it. All around him on this Grecian street people are shitting themselves about Coronavirus, panic buying toilet paper and dried pasta like a bunch of fucking morons. Seeing the shining light of 110% Syberus's aura gives them belief, hope, and a momentary lapse in the mass media driven hysteria. People stop looting for a second to take in his magnificent image. In the background someone double takes just as they were about to put a trashcan through a supermarket window. Dumpster fires inexplicably die down and police sirens as if by magic wither into silence as 110% Syberus, the SWAT International Champion clears his throat. A thousand people across the world somewhere think this throat clearing is the sign of the apocalypse and lock themselves in safe rooms.]

110% Syberus: Dear God... the panic. The hysteria. It's almost as if the human race have never had a common cold before. This is hardly 1995 classic “Outbreak” we're dealing with, and by the way symptoms of Coronavirus do not contain uncontrollable shitting of pants, which “Timeless” Alex Turner is probably doing right now in sheer disbelief that he's been handed another title shot.

I'm not saying that an outgoing champion doesn't deserve a re-match, granted that's pretty standard procedure, but I think we can all agree that Alex Turner was fortunate enough to have stumbled his incompetent ass into some gold in the first place; a brief dalliance with the title that most the time he forgot he was even wearing is, I think, sufficient for the guy. Bring on Eddie! We need more Eddie! Eddie and his big giant fat face all over our screens repeatedly over and over again. This guy's self promotion is off the chain. Can you imagine how good his going to be when the content he puts out contains actual quality?

You'll get there, Eddie. You'll get there.

[ Syberus walks past someone's window that's self isolating. He places his palm over theirs, they solemnly bow their head behind the glass.]

110% Syberus: Timeless is pretty much a virus isn't he? Constantly plaguing SWAT with boring promos where he doesn't even time travel. (He's a time traveller, you see. If you're new to SWAT you probably aren't aware of them because he never travels through time.) Well Timeless if you're the virus I'm the bulk pack of 28 bottles of hand sanitiser your stupid mass media driven aunt selfishly rammed her shopping cart into a pregnant ladies' ankles for. Imma wipe the stain of your existence from the title scene here in SWAT.

Your “time” is done. It's over. There's a stack of talent between you and the International title now and if it wasn't for the fact you were (sigh) contractually owed a rematch there's probably half a dozen names that could be challenging for my gold this week. If the stars align and you somehow manage the shock of the millennium and beat 110% Syberus your reign will be short lived – there's a Caffery or a Kosloff or a Eddie D or even that boring fuck Trent Jones coming for this belt (he slaps the title belt) and even though they've yet to graduate the 110% academy... any one of them would make short work of YOU.

[ 110% Syberus cautiously steps over someone who's weeping in the foetal position on the floor because the end is nigh. ]

110% Syberus: My job here is simple. I'm the highest percenter in SWAT. I give 110% day in, day out, world wide pandemic of the snifflies or not. I can't allow someone like you to taint the title scene in SWAT again. The Society of the New Breed have been continuously raising the bar over the past six months. Jonnie Valentine and Syberus have taken the two top singles belts, wrestled them from the grasps of the likes of Radu Matei and Psychotic Goth, given them meaning, value, exposure, like wrestling championships should have, and ensured they don't make their way into the grasps of the undeserving ever again.

You see the Society of the New Breed has been called back to professional wrestling for a reason. There's a generation here that needs an education and we're here to provide it. These guys have been average at best and had accolades thrown at them for participation. Remember the other week when Caffery pulled that little trophy from his pocket like it fucking meant something? Unreal. He was about to enter a royal rumble with a 9-times champion of the world and he was bragging about an award his best friends gave him.

So I can't allow you to win, Alex. It's not that I hate you. I don't hate anyone here, as a matter of fact. You're just not good enough to be a champion, and 110% Syberus is here to give 110% to SWAT in all things. That means I care when the company's reputation gets tarnished because someone who can barely speak in sentences is flaunting one of the top titles. Or in your case, barely referencing it at all like you did when you had it before.

One day one or two of these guys is going to “get it”. And when they “get it”, they'll be ready to take on and beat 110% Syberus.

Until then I'm putting you, and Caffery, and Kosloff, and Eddie, and Trent, and Hayden Callahan on notice.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm not losing this belt. I'll wrestle every single one of you with absolutely no fear because I've seen the best you can all produce right now and I've yet to see anything that remotely concerns me about my reign.

We're gonna do this together and we're gonna do this right. We're gonna do this over, and over, and over, until ONE of you bright sparks actually comes up with something capable of beating 110% Syberus. It might take six months. It might take a year. I came back to SWAT to re-establish the golden era of professional wrestling that the Society of the New Breed is woven into the fabric of, and I'm not leaving again until my job is done.

So Timeless, feel free to step up to the plate one more time, feel free to put yourself through another match with the best wrestler that's ever lived. Feel free to put yourself through the broken bones and torn muscles, and humbling humiliation that comes with experiencing first hand the giant fucking gaping cosmos between our two levels in this sport.

Then just like the Coronavirus will do in a couple of months time... kindly fade away and be forgotten.

[ Fade. ]

[Jonnie Valentine]

[Open up on a McDonald's commercial]


"Thundercats: The Movie will be in theaters this summer, but now you can get Thundercats toys in special Happy Meals at McDonald's!" 


[Kids opening the Happy Meals, and their faces light up]


"That's right, when you order the Thundercats Hamburger, you get one of five Thundercats collectible items. 


"Lion-O!"


"Panthro!"


"Cheetara!"


"Mumm-Ra!"


"And Snarf!"


Kid: Can I get these cool toys if I get Chicken McNuggets?


"NO!"


"Just the Thundercats Hamburger!"


Kid: Can it at least be a cheeseburger?


"Negative!" 


"It's gotta be a hamburger!"


Kid: Who eats hamburgers?


["Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine walks in dressed in full make up as Lion-O with the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship around his waist and Forrest Whittaker is dressed as Panthro]


"Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine/Lion-O: The Thundercats, that's who!


Forrest Whitaker/Panthro: That's right, hamburgers are what the Thundercats need for fuel and energy to defeat the evil Mumm-Ra! 


Jonnie Valentine/Lion-O: In fact, it is Mumm-Ra who invented cheese to poison children and...ok, cut? Cut?


[Bell rings and camera operator on a crane lowers himself back to the ground to re-set his shot. The director rolls his eyes and walks over to talk to his actors]


Director: Jonnie, boobie, what was wrong with that one? 


Jonnie Valentine: Sorry, Forrest, I'm just...can't we just put cheese on it? Just seems like an odd hill to die on for a Thundercat. 


Director: (holds Jonnie by the shoulders) Ooh, no can do, JV. Hamburger sales have slumped since when was that Kevin?


Assistant Director: 1958.


Director: 1958, Jon-Jon. The cheeseburger had it's time in the sun, but it's the hamburger's time. And who is the brave warrior leading the charge to retake the hamburger's rightful spot on the throne?


Jonnie Valentine: Me?


Director: Lion-O. 


Jonnie Valentine: Right. 


Director: Everything Ok with you Forrest?


Forrest Whitaker: Yeah. He stepped on my line a little but I used it. 


Director: I saw that.


Jonnie Valentine: I didn't...


Forrest Whitaker: Hey, it's ok. We're all fine tuning our instruments. 


Jonnie Valentine: I don't know what that means. But thanks. 


Forrest Whitaker: (winks) No problem. 


[110% Syberus walks through the fake McDonald's door, looking around, holding a couple of paper bags]


Director: Hey! Hey! Excuse me, this is a closed set! 


Jonnie Valentine: No, he's cool. It's my best friend and partner, 110% Syberus. 


110% Syberus: I brought you the Burger King. 


Jonnie Valentine: Thanks, I'm starving. 


[Jonnie tears into the fast food and starts eating a BK Stacker, getting sauce all over his makeup]


110% Syberus: How long does it take it to get into that makeup?


Jonnie Valentine: (mouth full) 4 hours. 


110% Syberus: How long does it take off?


Jonnie Valentine: (chewing) 3 hours.


110% Syberus: Can you piss in it? 


Jonnie Valentine: It happens. The hard part is cocaine. The nose isn't real. I have to get the lady to drill me a nostril every day. She barely puts up a fuss anymore. Oh, I had a question. (pops a fry into his mouth) Is Forrest Whitaker British? I can't tell. 


[Forrest Whitaker looks over and waves. Jonnie and Syberus wave back]


110% Syberus: (waving) I can't remember anymore. I think so? 


Jonnie Valentine: Cool. He's a great actor. 


110% Syberus: How can you tell?


Jonnie Valentine: I have no fucking clue what he's saying most of the time. It's English, but somehow it isn't. 


[Forrest Whitaker walks over with the script rolled under his arm and a sipping a McDonald's caramel frappe]


Forrest Whitaker: Hey, Lion-O?


Jonnie Valentine: (to Syberus) Oh, we call each other by our character names. 


110% Syberus: Lovely. 


Forrest Whitaker: I was thinking. On this next take, let's try and master our space? Ya know? 


Jonnie Valentine: (nervously nods) Absolutely. 


Forrest Whitaker: Spatial norms are an important element to this exercise. Let's try and see how we use space to give us some interesting information?


Jonnie Valentine: (feigns understanding) I was thinking the same thing, but I thought you would think I was weird to ask. 


Forrest Whitaker: Oh no, don't. (pats Jonnie on the shoulder) We use space to decide how someone feels about us and we look at space between others to try predicting their relationship. I'll see you out there. 


Jonnie Valentine: Ok, see you Forr-...I mean, Panthro. 


[Forrest winks at him and goes to stand on his mark]

110% Syberus: Any worries about Christian Sebastian Kennedy in Greece? 


Jonnie Valentine: Of course. I haven't heard anything from him, but that usually means it's because he's conspiring with my friends to betray me. It's not you, is it? 


110% Syberus: And miss out on a cameo in the third sequel? 


Jonnie Valentine: It can't be Marty. That guy loves me. Rally Jackson is my sworn protector and very hard to reach lately. 


110% Syberus: Oh, did he skip out on this one?


Jonnie Valentine: On a McDonald's commercial? No, he's right there. 


[Rally Jackson has several double quarter pounder boxes in front of him at a nearby table]


Rally Jackson: (mouthful) Sup?


110% Syberus: 'ello Rally. 


Jonnie Valentine: Tux? No, I got a solid crew. Not like when I had to carry Frostbite in the War Games match. I'm not worried about Kennedy turning my friends against me as much as much as I'm worried he's got some other trick up his sleeve. Either way, he's still dangerous in the ring, but I'm the SWAT World Champion and World Champions don't lose their titles in Greece. World Champions dissect guys like CSK so that the next time wrestling comes to Greece, they judge it by Jonnie Valentine's standard, and who can stand up to that? Christian Sebastian Kennedy is going to have a worse time in Greece than the guy who told the Spartan guy that this is madness. I'm going to work his arm until he hates having one. And I'll leave Athens more popular than Odysseus and anal, still their SWAT World Heavyweight Champion. 


[Throws down his Burger King soda cup]


Jonnie Valentine: (proudly) Let's sell some cheesburgers! 


110% Syberus: Hamburgers. 


Jonnie Valentine: (proudly) Hamburgers. 


[Everyone gets in their places. The hair guy combs Jonnie's fake hair as a makeup person furiously tries to wipe off all the sauce and salt on his face]


Director: Alright, everyone? Let's make this a good one. Ready and action! 


Jonnie Valentine/Lion-O: In fact, it is Mumm-Ra who invented cheese to poison children and keep them from discovering the magic crystals that created the universe. Hamburgers are the only way to defeat him!


Forrest Whitaker/Panthro: (puts his hand on the kid's shoulder) Will you take the Thundercats challenge and eat more hamburgers?


Kid: Uhhh...sure. Who needs cheese? 


Director: And cut! We've got it folks! 


[The crew give a rousing applause for the actors finally getting a usable take]

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from spots for SWAT's streaming service's first reality television series with 'Timeless' Alex Turner and Roxylishus, SWAT Magazine with Team Fairtex on the cover, spots for movies and television shows before fading to ringside where ringsiders are holding signs that say "Psychotic is a Golden Goth!," "Bite Me Vampira!," "Team Fairtex are Golden Gods!," "Curse me Vampira!," "Goth is Gold!," and Team Fairtex is 4Ever!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground: Greek Tragedy coming live from Athens, Greece, the ancient home of the original Olympics and former host of the 2008 Olympics and now the Olympic venue is now the host of Battleground: Greek Tragedy. Believe me Angela gave SWAT a good price for this venue. The people gave SWAT a nice welcome and this country is beautiful as well as historic."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah and all you get is cheap food that tastes bland anyway and cheap knockoffs of statues of Greek gods and their landmarks."

Jeremy Tucker: "Come on the food is healthy and delicious and the people love hosting sporting events. Plus like I mentioned Angela leased the Olympic Village at a good price and the most recent SWAT event held here was in 2017 when SWAT Amazons had their first event Amazon Domination where former SWAT Amazon Olympia won the SWAT Pan Amazons Women's Championship in a Money in the Bank style match."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah and despite the upgrades to the Olympic Village you would think that she would have given us a spa and a pool or maybe a suite."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh and I bet you would want to invite the Greek women to see your golden god body."

Andrew Fulton: "Now we're talking Jerry."

Jeremy Tucker: "Won't happen anytime soon."

Andrew Fulton: "You're trying to taunt me."

Jeremy Tucker: "I'm not trying to taunt you. Let's get back to this next match for the SWAT World Tag Team Championships between former allies Team Fairtex and Psychotic Goth and Vampira. Believe me Psychotic Goth and Vampira have been waiting for quite a while to face Team Fairtex and vice versa. Believe me they are out for revenge and tonight they plan on getting it."

Andrew Fulton: "Team Fairtex better watch their necks with Vampira or worse watch out for Psychotic Goth who vowed to sacrifice them on that altar."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Psychotic Goth was quite cryptic about that and let's not forget Team Fairtex are the legendary The Shootfighter's sons and Psychotic Goth and Vampira are his proteges. Let's not forget that this war started when Team Fairtex turned on Psychotic Goth and joined The KGB and assisted "Timeless' Alex Turner to defeat Psychotic Goth for the formerly known SWAT Hardcore Title which became the technical Title and then The International Title now held by 110% Syberus."

Andrew Fulton: "Okay where's the evidence that The KGB conspired to turn Team Fairtex against Psychotic Goth. Where's the paper trail? Where's the audio and video evidence of these accusations."

Jeremy Tucker: "Where's your brain. Right now let's go to the ring for the ring introductions for this explosive tag team championship match."

Frank Salazar: "This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from The Depths of Hell. They come in at a total combined weight of 410lbs. Please welcome the former SWAT Hardcore Champion and his valet Vampira."

(Green and Red mist billow out of the ring entrance as both a man and woman scream and maniacal laughter is heard throughout the arena. "Welcome to your Death" by Annihilator begins to play and Vampira leads Psychotic Goth to ringside in chains. The ringsiders cheer them but they ignore the ringsiders as they make their way to ringside. They stop and Vampira turns to unlock his chains and Psychotic Goth rubs his wrists hard as he enters the ring. Vampira climbs to the top turnbuckle still holding the bag with Psychotic Goth's weapon as she jumps down landing perfectly on her feet. Psychotic Goth removes his trenchcoat and jewelry before lowering his head and raising his arms before flinging head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks and both snarl and look maniacal.)

Andrew Fulton: "Oh Team Fairtex is going to make these two freaks wish they didn't curse The KGB."

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Bangkok, Thailand. They come in at a combined weight of 470lbs. They are the current SWAT World Tag Team Champions. Please welcome Tong and Phantam Fairtex also known as Team Fairtex."

("UFC Remix" plays and Team Fairtex makes their way to ringside. Their facisal expressions show only serious business and as they enter the ring they do a brief dance before going to each corner and say a prayer to honor the Thai fighting gods. As Tong reaches the final corner Psychotic Goth and Vampira intentionally block their way and both teams begin to push and shove before."

Jeremy Tucker: "I think this is what Psychotic Goth meant when he vowed to show them disrespect."

Andrew Fulton: "That's right. They showed the ultimate disrespect towards Team Fairtex by refusing to let them finish their ring entrance."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth's known for showing nobody any respect. The referee tries to get between them, but Psychotic Goth roars in an ancient Greek dialect and both teams come to blows with a vengeance. Psychotic Goth and Tong Fairtex go at it in the ropes and Vampira and Phantam go at it in a corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Team Fairtex whip Psychotic Goth and Vampira into the ropes but miss with clotheslines. Psychotic Goth and Vampira come off the opposite ropes with a double dropkick. They do it again and do it a second and a third time before they force Team Fairtex out of the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth and Vampira bound into the ropes and charge flying out of the ring wiping Team Fairtex out with a suicide plancha."

Andrew Fulton: "Let's hope that Team Fairtex had plenty of garlic to fight off any attempts to bite them. Psychotic Goth throws Tong into the ring unceremoniously while Vampira goes back to her corner. Psychotic Goth stomps a mud hole into Tong's mid-section before stepping onto his throat choking him. He goes over and tags in Vampira who wastes no time opening up a can of whoop ass. Vampira tags in Psychotic Goth who whips Tong into the corner and charges in with a running knee. He opens up a can of whoop ass now and screams at that muscle bound bimbo referee. He turns around and Tong grabs him by his belt buckle and he rams Psychotic Goth into the ringpost."

Jeremy Tucker: "He scrambles over to tag in Phantam who sommersaults into the ring and charges in with a running knee to Psychotic Goth. He whips him into the opposite corner and clotheslines him. Phantam pays Psychotic Goth back by opening up a can of whoop ass of his own. He tags Tong back in and he delivers a series of double axehandles to Psychotic Goth's back. He whips Psychotic Goth into the ropes and he lightning belly to belly suplex's Psychotic Goth over and onto his head."

Andrew Fulton: "So far Team Fairtex is all business and on their game. Tong executes The Three Amigos before rolling over for the cover....One....Two....Kickout by Psychotic Goth. Tong delivers a series of brutal knee drops to Psychotic Goth's back. He charges and knocks Vampira off the ring apron."

Jeremy Tucker: "That could be a mistake since Vampira's eyes were flaring up and she wants into the ring again. Tong whips Psychotic Goth into the ropes but he misses with a clothesline and Psychotic Goth comes off and connects with a flying shoulderblock."

Andrew Fulton: "Don't look now but Vampira is really fired up urging her husband on to tag her in. They both make the tag and Phantam and Vampira practically tear into each other. Vampira whips Phantam into the corner and charges in and delivers a violent flying knee busting Phantam's nose open and you can bet Vampira's going to have an orgie of blood. She tags in Psychotic Goth and whips Phantam who reverses it and sends Vampira into the corner. He charges in but Vampira rolls out of the way and Phantam's knee crashes into the corner."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth leaves the ring and finds a barbed wire baseball bat and he beats Phantam's back and shredding his back into a bloody mess. He places the bat on Phantam's head and he scrapes the bat across his head repeatedly slashing his head into a bloody mess. Looks like 'The Handsomest Man in SWAT' won't be after tonight."

Andrew Fulton: "Once again that muscle bound nitwit bimbo referee won't even disqualify Psychotic Goth and Vampira. Psychotic Goth roars as he bites Phantam's head. Tong runs along the ring apron and he clotheslines Vampira off the ring apron and Psychotic Goth clotheslines Phantam over the top rope and out of the ring before going after Tong who pulls the ropes down sending Psychotic Goth out of the ring onto the hard concrete floor. Tong springboard moonsaults off the ropes and wipes out Psychotic Goth and Vampira. Phantam whips Psychotic Goth into the ring steps and he crashes into them. Phantam smashes psychotic Goth's head into the edge of the ringsteps and now Psychotic Goth's head is busted open."

Jeremy Tucker: "As expected things have broken down into a wild brawl. Tong DDT's Vampira onto the hard concrete floor and then goes after Psychotic Goth and Team Fairtex is delivering a real brutal beatdown on him. They throw Psychotic Goth back into the ring and they continue the assault on him. Vampira recovers enough and looks under the ring apron and she finds a spike before reentering the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Vampira tackles Tong and she digs that spike into his head and she's carving her name into his head and Tong's gushing blood now. She sticks her finger into that cut and....Ugh that's disgusting. Vampira's licking her finger enjoying the gushing blood coming from his head."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth wedgies Phantam and he leaves the ring and finds a cheese grater and returns to the ring and by the look on his face he isn't going to use it to shred cheese for salads."

Andrew Fulton: "Once again Psychotic Goth roars in some weird ancient dialect which nobody can comprehend. Someone should make him speak English for a change."

Jeremy Tucker: "Then why not get into the ring and tell them."

Andrew Fulton: "Hell no! He's going to kill me and Vampira's going to turn me into a vampire after she bites me. Besides, I'm too handsome to be turned into a night creature."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why am I not surprised. Vampira tosses the spike to Psychotic Goth before leaving and then leaves the ring and finds another and returns to the ring to carve her name into Tong's head and again she sticks her finger into that bloody cut and then licks it."

Andrew Fulton: "Once again she does something disgusting and loves it. She shows that sick and twisted smile of hers. They whip Team Fairtex into the ropes but Team Fairtex comes off the ropes countering with a double roaring bicycle kicks. They follow up with knife edge thrusts and Muy Thai punches."

Jeremy Tucker: "Team Fairtex double clotheslines Psychotic Goth and Vampira before leaving the ring looking and finding their stainless steel Singapore canes. They reenter the ring and they start beating them without mercy and remorse before the referee barely manages to restore some kind of order."

Andrew Fulton: "Told you she was a brainless muscle bound bimbo. If it takes over five minutes to restore some kind of order I say get rid of that clueless airhead. Phantam whips vampire into the ropes and strikes her real hard with that stainless steel Singapore cane and then continues to beat her hard in the back and to the back of her legs."

Jeremy Tucker: "Phantam stomps on Vampira's leg and cinches in a single legged Boston Crab. He leans backwards applying even more pressure on that leg as Vampira screams in pain as she struggles to get to the ropes and she grabs them forcing a break in the hold."

Andrew Fulton: "Phantam executes a backbreaker and tags in Tong in and he charges in and he knocks Psychotic Goth off the ring apron. Team Fairtex executes a Rolling Thunder before Tong makes the cover.....One.....Two.....No! Vampira kicks out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Tong mounts and grounds and pounds Vampira relentlessly. Tong proceeds to bite Vampira's head and slams her head before stomping a mud hole into her chest."

Andrew Fulton: "Too bad it doesn't improve her already ugly looks. Tong suplex's Vampira before cinches in a reverse chinlock and he is grinding it in tightly and he continues to grind it in tighter and tighter."

Jeremy Tucker: "Vampira slowly makes her way back to her feet and delivers a series of elbows and throws Tong over her back before cinching in an armbar submission. Tong manages to get to the ropes and the referee forces Vampira to break the hold."

Andrew Fulton: "Vampira bites Tong's arm and removes her belt and starts whipping Tong's body and legs with viciousness and with such savage. Now she chokes Tong relentless before dragging I'm all around the ring like a sex object. How she can keep her pants from falling is beyond me."

Jeremy Tucker: "She and Psychotic Goth wear tight black leather pants. She tags Psychotic Goth back into the ring and he takes off his sharp metal leather belt and starts whipping Tong. He forces Tong over the ropes and he's hanging Tong as Phantam storms over to aid his brother by placing himself under Tong to alleviate the pressure from that hanging."

Andrew Fulton: "Vampira moonsaults off the top turnbuckle and wipes out Team Fairtex. She tosses Tong back into the ring unceremoniously before returning to her corner. Psychotic Goth relentlessly whips him with his belt before turning on his belly and straddles him placing the belt around his throat and pulls back like in a camel clutch. He pulls back continuing to choke Tong."

Jeremy Tucker: Tong struggles to get into the ropes and reaches them forcing a break. Psychotic Goth tags in Vampira who charges in and she starts opening a can of whoop ass on Tong's back. Phantam is back on the ring apron as Vampira charges Phantam who counters with a Muy Thai style superkick to her head."

Andrew Fulton: "Damn I thought I saw some fangs come out of Vampira's mouth. Tong slowly makes his way to his corner and he tags in Phantam who sommersault leg drops onto Vampira on the back of her head. He charges and he delivers a violent running flying knee to Psychotic Goth's head knocking him off the apron. Psychotic Goth's nose looks broken and he's bleeding."

Jeremy Tucker: "This has been back and forth all the way. Phantam whips Vampira into the ropes and Bubbaslams her hard. He whips her into the ropes again and spears her before making the cover.....One....Two....Th....No! Psychotic Goth breaks it up."

Andrew Fulton: "Tong superkicks Psychotic Goth followed by a Thai clinch and a violent series of knees to Psychotic Goth's body and head. He bounds into the ropes but Psychotic Goth spears him out of nowhere. Psychotic Goth grounds and pounds Tong who rolls him over and returns the ground and pound. They roll across the ring continue to brawl which continues even after they leave the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "They continue to brawl all around the ringside area as Phantam DDT's Vampira. He bounds into the ropes and flies over executing a plancha whipping both Psychotic Goth and Tong out."

Andrew Fulton: "Vampira obviously shakes off the cobwebs and bounds into the ropes and she flies over the ropes suicide diving wiping out everyone. There's wreckage near us and you can bet our broadcast table is next on their list."

Jeremy Tucker: "The referee's making the count as all four slowly start stirring and getting back to their feet. They continue to brawl before Vampira and Phantam rush the ring and reenter breaking the count. Tong and Psychotic Goth continue their violent and bloody brawl all over ringside."

Andrew Fulton: "Psychotic Goth sets up Tong and it's time to abandon table as I predicted. He attempts a powerbomb but Tong counters with a hurricanrana destroying our table in the process."

Jeremy Tucker: "Vampira and Phantam continue their brawl in the ring. Vampira wedgies Phantam and she running bucklebombs him into the corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Vampira opens up another can of whoop ass on Phantam. Tong attempts a suplex but Psychotic Goth counters with a suplex of his own into the guard railing. He proceeds to ground and pound Tong."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth goes over to his corner and he reaches for his velvet bag. He picks it up and he removes the weapon revealing something as he caresses what looks like a mace that he just set on fire. Psychotic Goth roars in an ancient Greek dialect and Tong ducks his swing."

Andrew Fulton: "Psychotic Goth continues to swing at Tong who grabs one of the stainless steel Singapore Canes and both are going at it like a couple of bad martial arts actors in an equally awful martial arts B-movie."

Jeremy Tucker: "While those two continue to go at it with renewed fury with those weapons. Back in the ring Vampira places Phantam on the too turnbuckle and she attempts a Vampire's Kiss but Phantam elbows his way out and counters with a lightning fast Frankensteiner."

Andrew Fulton: "Phantam whips Vampira into the ropes and belly to belly suplex's her onto her head. Phantam cinches in a Kokina Clutch and he has it in tight but Psychotic Goth storms back into the ring and breaks it up."

Jeremy Tucker: "Tong storms back into the ring and spears Psychotic Goth in the back. he executes a series of German suplex's and with an overhead throw onto Goth's head before making the cover....One....Two....Thr....No! Vampira breaks it up."

Andrew Fulton: "Finally a pinfall attempts after what close to ten minutes. I thought the art of pinning opponents was forgotten between these two teams. Phantam spinebusters Vampira before Team Fairtex goes to the top turnbuckle and fly off executing double knee drops. Tong makes the cover....One....Two.....Thr....No! Psychotic Goth breaks up the pinfall."

Jeremy Tucker: "Phantam delivers a high flying running knee to Psychotic Goth's head and then sets him up and executes a Go To Sleep and makes the cover....One....Two....Thre....No! Psychotic Goth sits up glaring at Phantam."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh Oh look at Psychotic Goth's eyes. He looks like he just came from a horror movie with his makeup still on. Phantam unleashes a series of hard rights as Psychotic Goth slowly gets up with each punch. Now he's really angry."

Jeremy Tucker: "Psychotic Goth just roared and screams in an ancient Greek dialect before unleashing a series of hard vicious rights of his own. He forces Phantam into the ropes and follows up quickly with a roaring discus clothesline which sends Phantam over the top ropes and out of the ring onto the hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "Psychotic Goth bounds into the ropes and goes Air Goth wiping Phantam out along with himself. Tong whips Vampira into the ropes and flying leg clotheslines Vampira."

Jeremy Tucker: "Tong goes to the top rope and attempts a Hart elbow but Vampira rolls out of the way. She waits and grips Tong by the throat and she chokeslams Tong."

(The arena lights go out.)

Andrew Fulton: "OH MY GOD! RUN JERRY RUN! IT'S THE FIEND MAKING AN APPEARANCE! RUN HE'S GOING TO KILL US!"

(The lights come on after a few moments and both "Timeless" Alex Turner and Roxylishus are standing in the ring as the referee calls for the bell while Psychotic Goth and Vampira are slowly stirring.)

Frank Salazar: "Your winners by disqualification after 20mins. Psychotic Goth and Vampira. Team Fairtex remain the SWAT World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions."

Jeremy Tucker: "'Timeless' Alex Turner and Roxylishus start kicking Psychotic Goth and Vampira. These four individuals have been in a bitter feud ever since Team Fairtex turned against their allies Psychotic Goth and Vampira assisting 'Timeless' Alex Turner win the formerly known Hardcore Title and made it the SWAT Technical Championship."

Andrew Futon: "Yeah keep referring to them as a couple of spoiled brats and when Psychotic Goth and Vampira are angry they're being subjected to injustices. Team Fairtex now joins in on the beatdown."

Jeremy Tucker: "Roxylishus just did her famous Split Splash (split legged sitdown on vampire) smiling which turns to screaming as she painfully gets up feeling her butt and crotch."

Andrew Fulton: "That's a crime against the true sexiest woman in SWAT."

Jeremy Tucker: "Vampira just sat up and her eyes are just as frightening as Psychotic Goth's earlier. Alex just picked Psychotic Goth up with his mechanical hand for a chokeslam but Psychotic Goth shoots his arm out gripping him by the throat before spewing green goo into his face and gives Alex a demonic look before chokeslamming him. He double clotheslines Team Fairtex out of the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "Turner is barely conscious and Psychotic Goth's going after the mechanical hand and he tries to rip the hand off as Turner screams in pain. As Roxylishus finally recovers and Turner is tossed out of the ring by Psychotic Goth. Someone save her since she's alone and helpless."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why not you oh knight in shining armor."

Andrew Fulton: "Give me a cross and garlic and I'll be more than happy to do it."

Jeremy Tucker: "forget I mentioned it."

Andrew Fulton: "Alex doesn't even know what's happening in the ring. Psychotic Goth is having one of his infamous arousals as Roxylishus backs up frightened not realizing vampira's behind her. She finally turns around and sees Vampira who spews red liquid onto her bodacious body and face. Vampirsa unleashes a scary vampire's hiss of satisfaction as Psychotic Goth retrieves his mace as Vampira throws Roxylishus out of the ring unceremoniously and KGB retreats threatening them as Psychotic Goth raise the mace above his head roaring. I hope KGB gets them back and then some at this injustice."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's a strong possibility since these two just added another chapter to their violent and bitter feud. You can bet all six of these individuals will want at each other in the Anzac Cup You can add Satan's Disciples to the list of teams wanting at them. Right now we have to take a break but we'll be back wth more great SWAT action after this."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[anthonycaffrey]

Jeremy Tucker : And coming up next we have a match that we’ve all been waiting for --

[The crowd immediately begins to boo as “Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Stirling hits the speakers, indicating the arrival of the XHF veteran Anthony Caffrey. His usual entrance has been cast aside as instead, he walks down the entrance ramp without a care for the theatrics. He stops about halfway and looks over at the commentary table.]

Andrew Fulton : Is it already time for Alex Withers going against Anthony Caffrey?

Jeremy Tucker : I’m not sure what Caffrey’s out here for, but he’s making a beeline towards us!

[Caffrey points directly at Fulton, directing him to get up.]

Andrew Fulton : Me?

[It’s hard to tell what Caffrey’s saying, but he keeps gesturing for Fulton’s headset as he walks closer. Fulton does not want to give up the headset.]

Andrew Fulton : You can’t have this---

[Caffrey walks over and rips the headset off of Fulton’s head. The crowd boos as Caffrey dangles it above Fulton’s head and makes him jump for it. Fulton is forced to play along, but as it looks like he’s about to get it, Caffrey lowers the headset and places it around his own head. He reaches down on the announce table to make sure the microphone is on. The crowd boos loudly, but he can be heard at home over their displeasure.]

Anthony Caffrey : How about you go do something useful? I’ve been here two shows and I’m already tired of hearing your voice. Run along now.

[Caffrey shoos Fulton away. He isn’t budging though, which makes Caffrey more displeased. Jeremy Tucker isn’t sure what to do himself.]

Anthony Caffrey : Go fetch me some catering. You know, we’re in the armpit of Europe -- go find me some baklava. It’s the only thing worth eating from this godforsaken country. It’s a goddamn health risk to even be here. Shoo.

[Fulton finally makes the decision to back away from the situation, realizing that the next step is often for Caffrey to threaten violence and that he isn’t about to get involved. He disappears to the back as his commentary partner finally speaks up.]

Jeremy Tucker : Well, uh… certainly one way to make an entrance. The former World Champion is in the building. How are you doing tonight, Caff?

[Caffrey waves a finger at Tucker.]

Anthony Caffrey : Now, because I like you… because I like you I’m going to allow you to sit here and listen to me talk to the people watching from around the world. You can sit there and keep your mouth shut. Keep up the good work.

[Tucker immediately realizes this is not a friendly visit and shuts his mouth as Caffrey speaks to the fans outside of the arena. The fans inside the arena boo him loudly as they realize they can’t hear almost any of the words he says.]

Anthony Caffrey : Hang on, I’m coming in a little fuzzy on my end. Let me see if I can make things more clear.

[Caffrey smacks the left side of his headset, shifting it over so it’s more centered. He tests it.]

"That’s better. Was feeling real boxed in, too."

He winks at the camera before continuing. 

"Now, I have some grievances that I felt the need to come out here and air. So I don’t really give a shit on whose match I’ve interrupted by coming out here, you’re going to pay attention to me. I will not be skipped over. Earlier when that absolute peanut butter clown read ad copy about SWAT, he missed the biggest star in the entire company, so I have a bone to pick. Callahan was included and he’s even newer than I am. So I don’t know what jackass marketer is responsible for that decision, but in case you’re living under a rock, your future X-Crown, SWAT World, and International Champion is coming to a country near you very very soon."

It’s hard to find a day that Caffrey isn’t angry about something, but he has taken great offense to being slighted in the promotional material. 

"Zainovic, I’m assuming this little ad copy gaffe was your mistake. As the Commissioner and the X-Crown Champion, I think you may be getting a little too comfortable up in your tower. I respect you and your talents and abilities -- but you have no idea what you’re getting into come the Rumble. I am officially declaring for the Rumble, and while you may have champs’ advantage, by hell or high water, I don’t know if I have to go through twenty other men to get there, but I will be in that ring waiting for you when After the Fire hits the arena speakers. You can choose to keep your head buried in the sand, or you can realize that A) one of the biggest and brightest stars of SWAT -- no, the entire XHF -- is talking to you, and B) that he’s going to take your X-Crown Championship just like he’s going to take Jonnie and the Jackass’ titles."

The crowd can’t hear Caffrey making the announcement, but the fact that he’s now gunning for the X-Crown in addition to the championships belonging to the Society of the New Breed is certainly newsworthy. He makes a gesture indicating swiping the salt off of his shoulders. 

"It’s nothing personal, Zaino… but we should talk."

Caffrey winks, knowing he has something else up his sleeve. 

"But until then, I am stuck in this disease-infested country to wrestle a match against a man who is going to pretend he is too high and mighty to even respond to what I have to say. I could get sick, here! I could catch the damn coronavirus and absolutely spread it back to the United States! With the travel ban from President Kanyon, I have to fly back to the United Kingdom to even get back home to Philadelphia! The rest of this European tour should be canceled. In fact, we should be wrestling in front of empty arenas. These fans are too stupid to say home and avoid spreading this deadly virus. People are dying and instead they show up to watch jackasses like 110% Syberus cowardly dodge legitimate competition."

You can bet the fans watching at home weren’t expecting the coronavirus to become a topic of conversation, but here we are. 

"In fact, I got coughed on by some asshole while I was coming into the airport. So I called in a few favors to make sure I am properly protected while I am in this backward ass country…"

Caffrey reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. The crowd immediately begins fiercely booing as he slides it over his ears. It’s a medical mask, designed to prevent the spread of illnesses. The booing only seems to get louder as Caffrey continues speaking to the crowd at home. Or at least, he wants to continue speaking. He stops as the crowd’s booing raises a peak volume, to the point that he can’t even be heard. He antagonizes the crowd further, pointing at all of them and giving them all a giant a thumbs down. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a small container of something. The audience, which had begun to settle down, immediately becomes riled up again at the sight of the object. 

It’s hand sanitizer. Caffrey takes his sweet time to liberally squeeze it onto his fingers, making sure to get in between every nook and cranny of his hands. He rubs them together, and in the briefest of volume drops from the capacity crowd reigning boos down on him, you can hear him singing “Happy Birthday” to himself. Once the twenty seconds is over, he finally looks back up to the crowd. He smiles his sinister smile as he continues to state his case, knowing damn well the audience can’t hear him at all. 

"I’m only doing what’s safe! This country has 117 cases of the coronavirus. If that rate were applied to the United States, we’d have 4,000 active cases in our country. Granted, my immune system is at its peak because I spend hours and hours in the gym, while Americans are too busy touching their damn faces in between rounds of cheeseburgers and pizza slices, but I am doing my best to protect the immunocompromised. Granted, that word is too big for some of you to understand, so it essentially means I’m doing my best to stay healthy to keep people whose immune systems have quit on them safe and protected." 

Caffrey can’t resist the urge to keep poking the bear as he goes on about the hottest topic in the news. His condescending tone makes it seem less like he cares about following the rules, and more about shaming the others who don’t follow them. His voice is a little muffled, but the microphone in front of his protected mouth helps him get his message out. 

 "Then you have people like that jackass Seth Dillinger, who in the heat of all of this madness consuming our country, challenging me to a match in my home city. I’ll respond to him another time, but of course he doesn’t care about the health of our fellow Philadelphians. No, instead all he cares about is filling up another arena full of disgusting fans who will buy his dumb t-shirt. We all just saw him snap out on poor ol’ Natasha the other day. I hate to say I told you so -- except y’know, I really don’t. Seth Dillinger is just another asshole like the rest of all of you."

Caffrey sits himself on the announce table as he points at the entire crowd. Their booing has lessened but it’s clear that the XHF veteran is not welcome in their space while he wears the mask.  

"Of course, he’s hip and woke enough to know that it’s called the coronavirus, or COVID-19. He’s not one of those racist asses who’s going to call it the Wuhan virus or the China virus. But after months now of listening to his self-righteous, hypocritical bullshit about doing the right thing and treating people with love and respect --- except referees trying to get you to actually do those things, apparently -- I’d put his level of intelligence somewhere above the people running out in the hysteria to buy toilet paper to defend themselves from a disease that doesn’t include bowel symptoms. That’s the level of Jonnie Valentine and his God awful commercials, 110% Syberus thinking there’s anyone else to threaten him besides the former Wrestling Emperor, or Alex Withers for taking this match without realizing that I’m going to make him tap out in the center of my ring in just a short bit."

Caffrey makes sure his medical mask is properly applied as he slides off of the announce table. 

"Now, I’m aware that match may be next, but I’m going to return to the back and get my catering from that jackass Fulton. Maybe I’ll even make this match with Withers a quick one, because after all, the last thing I want to do is occupy the same airspace as all of these idiots who chose a wrestling event over their health. I’ve already dangerously exposed myself enough just by landing in this country."

Caffrey makes a circling motion pointing to the fans one more time. They boo him as parts of Caffrey’s face move ever so slightly. Under the mask, one could guess it was his usual smile, but it’s hard to see what’s what. 

"My bags are already packed, and I will be on the last flight to London tonight. I will not be flying to our show’s next location until the very last minute. As Zainovic should know, I am not only a star, I am THE star. Put my name in lights because I am the person who will carry the company and save SWAT from itself. I’ll save it from the New Breed and the KGB. After all, I will be the one to win the Anzac Cup, and I will be the one to win the Rumble. I will be your champion. These are all facts in life, and there is no social isolation you can take to avoid them. To those of you watching at home, do yourself a favor and wash your fucking hands. You’re going to want to be alive and well for my reign."

Caffrey takes off the headset and begins his short walk to the back. He turns back and faces the crowd, taunting them one more time by putting his hand close to his face before immediately retracting it and waving a finger at the crowd. They boo him as he disappears to the back. 

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from spots featuring the Greek Bureau of Tourism, live MMA events, Pro baseball opening days, along with the newest movies and television shows before returning to the arena where ringsiders are holding signs that say "Don of the Dead!," "When Irish eyes are golden!," "Don Cannelli is wanted for blood bank robbery!," and "Linda is a pot o' gold!" before fading to Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton who are sitting at the broadcast table wearing headsets."

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to battleground: Greek Tragedy and up now is a rematch of sorts between SWAT Amazons Women's Champion Don Joanne Cannelli and 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

Andrew Fulton: "The only reason this match is happening is because Linda couldn't stand the fact that Joanne Cannelli pinned her in their six-man match and she wants revenge. So she goes whining and crying to that jerk of a commissioner and he grants her a rematch on demand."

Jeremy Tucker: "Cannelli's bodyguard brother slipped her a pair of brass knuckles to knock La Fey out and score the pinfall for her team."

Andrew Fulton: "So Joanne utilized the power of the punch technique used by the great Lord Steven Regal."

Jeremy Tucker: "He cheated with a roll of quarters while Joanne utilized brass knuckles and in both cases it was cheating to win."

Andrew Fulton: "Don't be such an apologist for Linda. She had more chances to win the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship than a lottery player on a losing streak. She doesn't even deserve another title shot."

Jeremy Tucker: "Obviously Commissioner Sainovic believes that she deserves another chance at the championship and he appointed the legendary Dragonatrix to be the special guest referee and we both know she doesn't take nothing from nobody."

Andrew Fulton: "Dragonatrix has always been a hard ass when it comes to conducting business in the ring and getting into anyone's face if they break the rules and tonight's going to be no exception."

Jeremy Tucker: "Dragonatrix is quite respected in the SWAT Amazons locker room and is considered fair and honest. She calls it down the middle and shows no favouritism to anyone. Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions to this epic battle."

Frank Salazar: "This next match is scheduled for one fall and it's for the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship. Introducing first from Dublin, Ireland. She comes in at 5'5" and weighs in at 131lbs. She is the leader of Team SWAT and is the Heart and Soul of SWAT and a former SWAT Pan Amazons and SWAT Women's Champion. Please welcome 'Lucky' Linda La Fey."

("Linger" from Cranberries plays and "Lucky" Linda La Fey storms ringside slapping hands and when she slides into the ring she mounts the top turnbuckle roaring and beating her chest before hopping down and jumping up and down glaring.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from The Jersey Shore. She comes in at 5'11" and weighs in at 165lbs. She is the current SWAT Amazons Women's Champion and represents The KGB. Please welcome 'The Jersey Devil' Don Joanne Cannelli."

Andrew Fulton: "He forgot the Most All Powerful. The All Knowing and The Greatest Amazon Women's Champion in SWAT not to mention Most Influential member of the KGB."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter's the leader of The KGB .”

Andrew Fulton: "Oh yeah after Joe Pesci was run out of SWAT it's been like sharks to blood as they've been trying to get his shares in this promotion."

(The house lights go down, as a spotlight goes over the crowd. As the spotlight comes to a stop at the back of the entranceway, as "Courtesy Call" by Thousand Foot Krutch begins. A picture of the Italian Flag with the words "Full Blooded Italians" is written underneath. The scene changes to mob hits, newspaper clippings from the just recent to the late 1900's, but soon changes once again, to the shots of the Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arenas of times since past. The spotlight focuses on six figures standing at the back of the ramp. This is Joanne Cannelli and her bodyguards accompanied by The Hired Killers Jade and Kim. They make their way down the ramp with Joanne in the middle with Reno and Rude on either side, and Scarpaci following behind and The Hired Killers behind him, talking amongst themselves ignoring the crowd among them. When they reach the ring, Reno holds open for her as she sips inside, only to follow behind and stand in the middle around her. She removes her jacket, and hands it to one of the guys, before they head out of the ring. The Hired Killers leave but stay at ringside as Joanne returns the glare at Linda.)

Jeremy Tucker: "The bad blood's about to spill between these two as Dragonatrix warns them both to wait until the bell rings. The bell finally does and this match is underway. They quickly meet in the centre of the ring and waste no time exchanging stiff rights and lefts."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda takes Joanne's legs out from under her and starts grounding and pounding Joanne who turns her over and returns the ground and pound. They roll back and forth pounding on each other and roll across and out of the ring. Linda and Joanne literally remain in each other's hair and continue to brawl."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda throws Joanne by the hair into the ring post and charges in but Joanne dodges out of the way of a clothesline. Joanne's eyes grow red and her fangs seem to be growing as if she wants to feed on Linda but The Hired Killers calm her down and place a mouthpiece in her mouth. They tell her something and she nods. Whatever they said it calmed her down and focused on Linda again."

Andrew Fulton: "You see they weren't doing anything wrong. Joanne once again is loose on Linda as she smashes her head into the ring post and then smashes her head repeatedly in the ring steps. Joanne's really showing how vicious she can be compared to Suzi Spitz. She throws Linda back in the ring unceremoniously and then finds a chair and slides it into the ring."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne starts to beat Linda with the chair and places the chair between her arm and stomps on that arm repeatedly. Linda's screaming in pain as Dragonatrix forces Joanne off her and checks on Linda to see if she's okay but Linda refuses to submit or quit."

Andrew Fulton: "Looks like more trouble as Joanne leaves the ring and finds a spike and reenters the ring. She starts digging and carving her name into Linda's head and then proceeds to bite her head. You can tell Joanne didn't have her Bloody Marie so she decided to have a Bloody Linda and is having one on the house."

Jeremy Tucker: "Dragonatrix warns her but she hisses and once again she bites Linda's head again as The Hired Killers pound the apron and shout instructions and encouragement. Joanne responds by whipping Linda into the corner and executes the most high flying Stinger Splash almost halfway across the ring into the corner."

Andrew Fulton: "I heard of real high flying moves but that move Joanne just made was really high flying. Joanne delivers a series of chops lighting up Linda's chest....Whoa something's wrong with Joanne and she rolls out of the ring. The Hired Killers go over to her and ask her what's wrong. They have a brief conversation as Dragonatrix warns them."

Jeremy Tucker: "Jade jumps onto the ring apron talking to Dragonatrix who warns her to get off the ring apron. Linda charges her and Jade jumps off the ring apron pulling the ropes down and Linda flies out of the ring and onto the hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "What are you talking about Jerry. Jade just jumps off the ring apron and accidentally pulls the ropes down sending Linda out of the ring and onto the hard concrete floor and you think it was intentional."

Jeremy Tucker: "It was and you know it."

Andrew Fulton: "Kim helps Joanne back into the ring while Jade takes something out and she sprays it into Linda's mouth. It looks like some kind of mouth spray."

Jeremy Tucker: "She probably did that to hurt Linda's breathing. I still think that Jade intentionally did that to hurt Linda."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh please I say an accidental rope pull and Linda falling to the concrete floor."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda found a couple of objects and she just snuck them into her boots. She re enters the ring and Joanne baseball slide dropkicks Linda in the injured arm. Joanne proceeds to cinch in a Fujiwara armbar in the center of the ring The Hired Killers continue to shout instructions and encouragement while pounding hard on the ring apron."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda struggles to make her way to the ropes as Joanne cranks on that arm increasing the pressure on Linda's arm as she reacts in pain. Dragonatrix is checking on Linda who still refuses to tap out. She manages to barely get her fingers on the ropes forcing a break in the hold."

Jeremy Tucker: Linda uses the ropes to get up and catches Joanne with a knee to her mid-section followed by a series of kicks and punches followed by a clothesline. She follows up with a second and a third clothesline before monkey flipping onto Joanne and makes the cover for a two count."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda whips Joanne into the ropes and delivers a flying lariot. She bounds into the ropes and executes a gore on Cannelli and makes the cover....One....Two...Th....No! Joanne kicks out and now Linda goes into her boot to take out one of those objects."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda waits and she presses the object into Joanne's head and Joanne's screaming in pain as Kim gets onto the ring apron and Jade slips into the ring and delivers a vicious Muy Thai superkick. She snatches the object and quickly leaves the ring. That looks like a cross."

Andrew Fulton: "So now we can add Linda the Vampire Slayer to what we can call Linda now. Joanne delivers a vicious yakuza kick to Linda's head followed by a belly to back suplex with a bridge for a close three count."

Jeremy Tucker: "Joanne asks for and is handed a barbed wire baseball bat. She beats Linda in the back shredding her back and open before she tosses it aside."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne's doing what she does best and that's being a mafia queen. She whips Linda into the ropes and misses with a big boot. Linda comes off the ropes with a brogue kick."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda finds that spike and now she carves her name and digs that spike into Joanne's head and bites her head before opening up a can of whoop ass. She sets up Joanne and executes a Three Amigos."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda now sets Joanne up and she pile drives her and makes the cover....One...Two....Thr....No! Joanne kicks out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda whips Joanne who reverses it. Joanne charges in but Linda charges out and executes a brogue kick."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda leaves the ring and attempts a springboard body splash but Kim sneaks up and pulls her off and Linda's head bounces off the ring apron."

Jeremy Tucker: "Once again The Hired Killers interfere in the match."

Andrew Fulton: "Kim was just trying to prevent Linda from hurting herself and she failed."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's lame and you know it."

Andrew Fulton: "It's not as lame as Linda using those objects on Joanne. Joanne bounds into the ropes and she flies over the ropes and splashes onto Linda wiping both out. Dragonatrix is counting both women as they slowly stir."

Jeremy Tucker: "The Hired Killers keep their distance and look suspiciously innocent. Joanne and Linda resume their ringside brawl and Joanne takes Linda's legs out and they both roll back and forth pounding on each other. Joanne mounts and grounds and pounds Linda before choking her."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda struggles to reach into her tights and she pulls out some kind of vial and smashes it onto Joanne's face forcing her off. Joanne's screaming as The Hired Killers come over and are wiping Joanne's face off with a handkerchief."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda re enters the ring and climbs the top turnbuckle and suicide dives off wiping all three out."

Andrew Fulton: "That's unfair Linda's trying to cheat to win."

Jeremy Tucker: "How do you know?"

Andrew Fulton: "Linda threw a vial of poisonous acid in Joanne's face probably scarring her for life and she tries to use a burning cross to burn Joanne and that's not cheating or trying to kill her?"

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh please. Linda takes Joanne and throws her back into the ring unceremoniously. Linda springboard cannonballs onto Joanne and double underhooks the legs ..... One ....Two ....Th .... No! Joanne grabs the ropes."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda whips Joanne into the ropes and powerslams Joanne before making the cover for a close three count. She scoops up Joanne and executes a fallaway slam before going to the top turnbuckle and senton bombs Joanne for another close three count."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda waits for Joanne to get up and bounds into the ropes and she executes a slingblade. She follows up with a Rude Awakening and makes the cover....One....Two....Thr....No! Joanne gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "Linda's getting frustrated that she can't cheat to get a win. She complains but Dragonatrix won't have any of that and let's her know it. I guess Dragonatrix is proving nobody is specially privileged. She whips Joanne into the corner but Joanne back bodydrops Linda over the ropes and she lands on the apron. Kim tries to grab Linda's leg but she kicks her away along with Jade."

Jeremy Tucker: "So Linda's cheating. I guess The Hired Killers are keeping to themselves."

Andrew Fulton: "At least they didn't use objects that tried to kill Linda."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh I'm sure. Linda waits and as Joanne charges in she lets loose a series of hard rights and then attempts a Phenomenal Forearm but Joanne counters with a power slam and she double hooks the legs....One....Two....Thre....No! Linda gets a shoulder up."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne waits and cinches in a Koji Clutch. Linda struggles as Joanne makes it tighter and tighter before dragging her to the canvas and wrapping her legs around Linda's body. Linda's struggling to get to the ropes. She tightens her grip as The Hired Killers continue to encourage her to finish off Linda."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda struggles to get to the ropes and she manages to get a foot on the ropes. Joanne waits until the last moment to release the hold. Joanne wastes no time executing a series of rolling German suplex's into the corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne places Linda into a Tree of Woe and she backs up and charges in spearing Linda in the chest. Dragonatrix tries to release Linda from the Tree of Woe but Joanne opens up another can of whoop ass. Dragonatrix warns her angrily to back off not seeing Jade choking Linda with a rope before quickly hiding the rope and backing off."

Jeremy Tucker: "Dragonatrix is warning Jade to keep her distance as Kim passes Joanne a pair of knuckle dusters which she hides in her tights. Linda falls down from the Tree of Woe and she gets up as Joanne charges but Linda Russian sickles Joanne."

Andrew Fulton: "Joanne wisely leaves the ring to gather herself again and The Hired Killers come over and Jade places something in to her mouth as Dragonatrix warns Linda to get back into the ring. Joanne slowly reenters the ring and as Linda pulls her up and suddenly looks like she got something into her eyes before Joanne reaches into her tights and takes out those knuckle duster and as Linda turns around Joanne knocks her out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Don't let the match end this way."

Andrew Fulton: "What with the power of the punch technique does it all the time."

Jeremy Tucker: "With knuckle dusters. Joanne picks up Linda and delivers a Rainmaker before she goes for the cover and double underhooks the legs. Don't let this match end this way....One...Two....Three!!!"

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 25minutes and still SWAT Amazons Women's Champion. 'The Jersey Devil' Don Joanne Cannelli."

Jeremy Tucker: "Don Joanne Cannelli retains her championship in an epic battle that has questionable interference."

Andrew Fulton: "Questionable manner. Don Joanne Cannelli dominated Linda most of the match until Linda decided to play Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In fact, the only reason The Hired Killers were intervening was because Linda was cheating and they nullified her unfair advantage."

Jeremy Tucker: "Linda never cheats and telling by the look on her face says it's not over yet. In any case Joanne was acting strange but in the end retains her title. What's going to happen next after this match is anyone's guess. Right now we have to go to the commercial break and we'll be right back with more SWAT action after this."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[Jonnie Valentine]

Jeremy Tucker: Fans, don't go away, we still have a packed card here in Athens. Coming up Anthony Caffrey will wrestle Alex Withers. Then we have the SWAT International title rematch between Syberus and Timeless.


Andrew Fulton: The title is coming home to the KGB! 


Jeremy Tucker: Then we...


["My Heart Beats With People" by Jonnie Valentine plays and The Olympic Stadium jumps to their feet! SWAT World Heavyweight Champion "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine comes running out with SWAT International Champion 110% Syberus and "The Golden God" Rally Jackson. Jackson is carrying a large birthday cake]


Jeremy Tucker: Ohmygod, ohmygod...OH MY GOD! It's "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine and The Society of the New Breed!!!


Andrew Fulton: Oi, let go of me! That's imported polyester you're grabbing on. 


Jeremy Tucker: And he's got a cake!! 


Andrew Fulton: Not with Rally holding it for long. 


[Jonnie Valentine goes around ringside, hugging the Greek fans. He finds an elderly woman singing his theme song in Greek and starts singing with her, cheek to cheek, into his pretend microphone]


Jeremy Tucker: God, I wish this could go on forever. 


Andrew Fulton: I'm taking my mandated smoke break. (lights up)


Jeremy Tucker: Suit yourself, I'm going to try and get an interview.  


[The Society of the New Breed hit the ring and pump up the crowd. Jeremy Tucker steps into the ring with the house mic and approaches Jonnie Valentine]


Jeremy Tucker: "Jonnie Valentine, what an amazing surprise! I think I speak for everyone when I say, thank you so much for coming out., what do we owe this pleasure to?"  


"Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine: "Well, thank you Mr. Tucker. As you know, it's my birthday..."


Jeremy Tucker: "Know?? This is like my Christmas!"


Jonnie Valentine: "Aw shucks. That's very kind of you to say, Mr. Tucker. But as the locker room presented me with this wonderful cake, it didn't make much sense to me for me to eat it by myself. Because the people...the people are what got me here, today."


[The Olympic Arena roars as Rally Jackson and 110% Syberus give them a round of applause. Jonnie nods at them, and beats his chest]


Jonnie Valentine: "So today, I am declaring it is THE PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAY!" 


Jeremy Tucker: "Oh my god!! This is amazing! 


Andrew Fulton: Oh, for fuck's sake. 


Jonnie Valentine: "That's right it is everyone's birthday here tonight. And we have brought you some cake. Because what is a birthday without cake??"


Jeremy Tucker: "My birthday!" 


Jonnie Valentine: "Yeah...oh. But that's the best thing about this. Even if you have a sad birthday like Mr. Tucker, if you love Jonnie Valentine..." 


Jeremy Tucker: AND I DO!! 


Jonnie Valentine: "Then you can have the birthday you deserved tonight! Rally?"


["The Golden God" Rally Jackson starts taking handfuls of cake and throwing them into the crowd. The fans cheer wildly as they get pelted with hunks of cake and frosting. Cameras catch fans with frosting on their faces, applauding. A Greek old woman wipes away tears]


Jeremy Tucker: "Can I have some?" 


110% Syberus: Sure, mate! 


[110% Syberus tosses a piece of cake at Jeremy's face. Tucker twists his tongue around to catch the falling cake and frosting] 


Jeremy Tucker: "Thank you." 


110% Syberus: Cheers. 


Andrew Fulton: What is wrong with these sheepfuckers? Why are they happy to be caked in...cake? 


[Jeremy Tucker, his face covered in frosting, is back at ringside] 


Jeremy Tucker: Andy? 


Andrew Fulton: What? 


Jeremy Tucker: I saved you a piece. 


Andrew Fulton: What? Oh no you don't...


[Jeremy Tucker smashes a cake into Andrew Fulton's face until you can't see his eyes. Jonnie Valentine grabs the house microphone]


Jonnie Valentine: "As a birthday present to the good people of Athens, I am going to drink gasoline, piss all over Christian Sebastian Kennedy and burn him to the ground!"


[The Olympic Arena cheers wildly and "My Heart Beats With People" by Jonnie Valentine starts playing and The Society of the New Breed walk to the back, as cake is thrown all over by the fans] 

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Fans coming up next is a grudge match between Anthony Caffrey and Alex Winters. Anthony Caffrey was livid when he was eliminated in a big group and has tried to seek revenge on all those involved.

Andrew Fulton: Can't believe he's still sore about something that happened in January. That would be like you still being angry about how I didn't return that rental car you got for me yet.

Jeremy Tucker: What?? I rented that Nissan back in January.

Andrew Fulton: (puts cigarette back in his mouth) That's what I just said. Crikey, keep up Jerry.

["My Own Summer" by The Deftones begins to play across the Olympic Stadium PA system and the fans boo. After a short delay out walks Alex Withers, dressed with a black zip up hoody lifted over his head, simple black boots and trunks he walks with a purpose towards the ring]

Jeremy Tucker: In his return to SWAT, Alex Winters was in the rumble with Anthony Caffrey. The last time we saw Withers was in Paris where he lost to El Combatiente.

[Sliding under the bottom rope he heads towards his corner without even a look towards the camera. Rubbing at each wrist he waits until the last possible moment to take his top off and bounces on the balls of his feet awaiting Alex Caffrey]

Andrew Fulton: Oi, he looks ready.

Jeremy Tucker: Alex Withers looking to score a victory in this one and get a shot at SWAT International Champion 110% Syberus.

Frank Salazar: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Featuring first, from Detroit, Michigan; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 170 pounds...ALEX WITHERS!!!"

[The Greek crowd boos. The Olympic Stadium's lights go off and the fans immediately begin to boo at the top of their lungs as an intense violin song, “Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Sterling starts to play. The man behind the music rises out of an opening in the floor, facing the back rather than the ring. The technician's tights read "SWAT Savior" on the back. His entrance is also heralded by a cloud of smoke forming behind him. Caffrey turns to face his detractors and has his trademark sinister smile on his face. The arrogant superstar walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans screaming and jeering]

Andrew Fulton: And here he is, The SWAT Savior. (takes cigarette out of his mouth) Bout damn time, I imagine. Things are gonna be alot different around here when he's in charge. And he'll probably need someone to whip things in to shape. A commentator would probably be the best bloke for the job, wouldn't you say Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker: (ignores him) One of Anthony Caffrey's admirers attacked him in France during an in-ring promo...

Andrew Fulton: Oi, such an ugly word. In-ring promo. Anthony Caffrey was just havin a chat, yeah?

Jeremy Tucker: At any rate, Seth Dillinger ran into the ring and the two of them went at it. Caffrey will have to put that out of his mind and focus on getting past Alex Withers here.

[He does not break eye contact with Alex Withers as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps. He reaches down and taps his ankle before pointing at Alex Withers. He then makes a simple motion to mime breaking it in half as if Wither's ankle was a simple wishbone. Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past Withers, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at Alex and gives him one more sinister smile, ready for what Withers has to offer]

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey wondering when he's going to receive a title opportunity, complaining about the shots given to Tarrasque and Timeless.

Andrew Fulton: As well he should, Anthony Caffrey is a world caliber athlete, while the title shots around here go to a bunch of blokes that should just hang it up already.

Jeremy Tucker: Well, if he is able to defeat Alex Withers here that would definitely put him in the conversation of a title shot against either 110% Syberus and "Top Guy" Jonnie Valentine.

Frank Salazar: "And his opponent, From The Greatest City In The World -- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Standing 6 feet 4 inches; Weighing 223 pounds...ANTHONY CAFFREY!!!"

[The Olympic Stadium rocks with boos, causing Caffrey to smirk. Tommy Milligan signals for the bell as Frank Salazar leaves the ring]

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey and Alex Withers lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Caffrey grabs a side headlock.

Andrew Fulton: Withers tries to push Caffrey off into the ropes, but Anthony holds onto the side headlock.

[Caffrey locks his hands together and grinds his forearm against the side of Withers' temple. He then turns his back to Tommy Milligan and jabs his fingers into Withers' throat]

Jeremy Tucker: Oh, come on!

Andrew Fulton: (lighting up his cigarette) What? What did I miss?

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey with an illegal throat thrust there. He grabs Withers by the hair and punches him.

Andrew Fulton: Alex Withers answers with a hard chop to Caffrey's chest! Caffrey slugs him in the jaw. Here we go!

[Alex Withers blisters him with another chop and the Greek fans let out a collective "Woo!" Anthony Caffrey smashes him with a european uppercut]

Jeremy Tucker: Another european uppercut backs Withers into the ropes, and Anthony Caffrey irish whips him into the ropes. He takes him down with a stiff clothesline.

Andrew Fulton: Anthony Caffrey stomps the back of Alex Withers' ankle!

Jeremy Tucker: Caffrey trying to soften up the ankle here, possibly for The Process.

[Anthony Caffrey holds the rope for balance and then stomps Withers' ankle again as the audience boos. Caffrey grabs an armbar]

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey sticks his knee into the ball of Withers' shoulder and then clamps down on his trapped arm.

Andrew Fulton: Caffrey wrenching back on that arm, but now Withers' working his way to his feet.

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey releases the armbar and rakes his nails across Withers' eyes! Come on, Milligan!

[The audience boos, and Alex Withers gets enraged, he goes after Caffrey, but Anthony Caffrey grabs Tommy Milligan and pulls him in between them. The boos get louder]

Andrew Fulton: Get out of the way, Tommy!

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey using referee Tommy Milligan for protection.

Andrew Fulton: You're daft, Milligan is 120 pounds soaking wet and carrying the groceries.

Jeremy Tucker: Alex Withers pushes Milligan out of the way, and lands a stiff kick to Caffrey's thigh. Another hard kick to Caffrey's ribs.

Andrew Fulton: Withers grabs Caffrey by the head and drills his head into the mat with a DDT!

[The Olympic Stadium jeers. Alex Withers climbs to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a flying headbutt but Caffrey rolls out of the way]

Andrew Fulton: Bit too early for that, there.

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey pointing as his head, and now picks up Withers' foot and slams the back of his foot into the canvas.

[Withers yelps in pain, and holds his ankle. Caffrey grabs Withers' legs and turns him over into a boston crab]

Jeremy Tucker: Caffrey plants his feet and pulls back on Alex Withers' legs, bending him in half.

[Tommy Milligan checks in to see if Alex Withers' wants to tap out but he refuses. Withers crawls on his belly over to the ropes. Milligan demands Caffrey break the hold but he shakes his head]

Jeremy Tucker: Come on! Release the hold.

Andrew Fulton: He's got a five count.

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey finally breaks the boston crab but the damage has been done.

[Anthony Caffrey slides out of the ring and grabs Withers' boot, then slams his ankle onto the apron! Withers screams and grimaces]

Jeremy Tucker: Caffrey drags Alex over to the corner and wraps Withers' legs around the ring post. He applies a cornerpost figure four!! Soft Pretzel Lock!

[Alex Withers cries out in pain and demands Tommy Milligan force Caffrey to break it. Milligan slides out of the ring and starts laying in the five count as the arena rocks with boos]

Andrew Fulton: Anthony Caffrey releases The Soft Pretzel Lock just in time.

Jeremy Tucker: Caffrey slams Alex Withers' ankle into the top of the ringsteps!!

[The Olympic Arena lets out a collective "OH!!" at the sound of Withers' ankle banging off the steel. Anthony Caffrey rolls back into the ring]

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey irish whips Alex Withers into the ropes, but Withers comes back with a flying forearm!

[The fans give Alex Withers a mixed reaction, while he rubs his ankle. He tries to pull himself up by the ropes as Caffrey gets up]

Jeremy Tucker: Alex Withers hobbles over and grabs Caffrey by the arm, pulling him into a shortarm clothesline.

[Alex Withers motions for Caffrey to get to his feet. He charges in with a spear, but Caffrey leapfrogs over him and Withers hits the turnbuckles' headfirst]

Jeremy Tucker: Alex Caffrey gives the crowd a little smirk, and pulls Withers up by the arm. He pulls him into a bullhammer elbow!! Closing Remark!

[Caffrey struts around the ring as Withers' tries to regain consciousness. Caffrey starts unlacing one of Withers' boots and the Athens fans boo loudly]

Jeremy Tucker: What is he doing?

Andrew Fulton: Probably trying to improve the smell in here I reckon.

Jeremy Tucker: Anthony Caffrey tosses Withers' boot to the side. He drags him into the center of the ring and applies The Process anklelock!!

[The Olympic Arena rocks with boos. Anthony Caffrey torques Withers' socked foot to the side, while clamping down on his knee with his scissorlock.. Caffrey screams "Tap!! Tap!"]

Andrew Fulton: Alex Withers taps out to The Process!

[Tommy Milligan signals for the bell as “Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Sterling begins playing. Caffrey releases The Process and jumps to his feet. He taps on his wrist for Tommy Milligan to raise it, and the ref complies]

Frank Salazar: "The winner of the match...ANTHONY CAFFREY!!!"

Jeremy Tucker: He injured that ankle early on, and Caffrey was like a shark to blood in the water, and gets an impressive victory here in Athens.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah, try denying him a title shot now.

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT Savior puts the company on notice, not to mention Seth Dillinger.