The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome 1: Road to the Rumble
Apr 1, 2020 18:50:04 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 1 more like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 1, 2020 18:50:04 GMT -5
“I know what a lot of people are going to say when it comes to Steve Awesome…”
You can hear the confidence in his voice but an old grainy piece of footage starts to play on the screen. It had a date stamp with the year two thousand three! Then the words “New to XHF” appear on the screen.
“They are going to say I’m old…
A collage of quick clips featuring a much younger Steve Awesome from his very first XHF vignettes, shooting baskets on the court, sinking hole in ones on the green. Knocking homers out of the park. It gets faster and faster showing Steve Awesome being good at everything. From bowling, to acting, botany and cooking.
“They are going to wonder what I’m about.”
A new collage of titles, trophies and accolades go flying through the screen. Titles from places you’ve never heard of, and some you have. The XCrown title and of course the IWF Championship both float across the screen as well.
“They are going to want to know what I’ve done.”
“Where I’ve been all this time.”
“Why I think I deserve to come back and compete in the XHF rumble after all this time.”
“I guess most importantly, they are going to want to know who the hell Steve Awesome is.”
We finally see his face. Tight framed head shot. Sunglasses. Smirk. Impeccable charisma.
“Well that’s the whole point of this show.”
-~The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome!~-
Steve sat in the big red interview chair facing the camera. He was definitely the type of guy who wore his sunglasses indoors. In fact, it was kind of his gimmick. Even at almost forty, he had that heart throb appeal. Though he had a smirky face that you just wanted to punch.
“Yes. I’m doing a reality tv show. And on this show you are going to get a first hand glimpse into the awesome reality of myself.”
That punchable smirk shows up as he presents himself.
“Steve Awesome.”
“You are going to follow me in my day to day life as I train and get prepared on my road to the rumble. And I’m really glad that I got the chance to do this show because it will really give the XHF Network viewers a real chance to know me and understand me. If I had to break it down into a few short words, I’m an entertaining awesome asskicker. But I’m so much more then all that. Let’s face it, a couple paragraphs of dialogue just couldn’t possibly capture what I am and what I will eventually mean to all of you.”
“A reality show is really just the type of medium I need to encapsulate the type of perfect life I lead. I can show the XHF Network fans who don’t know or who don’t remember the type of once in a lifetime legend I am. I’m the type of guy who has kept himself relevant in the eyes of most for twenty years. I’ve been winning world championships and I’ve wrestled in three different decades. And sure, I fully expect people to claim how they don’t know me or care about my return.”
He chuckles to himself and leans forward.
But obviously , if you have to mention me by name, then clearly I’m already in your head.
He simply shrugs his shoulders.
And the other interesting fact that, well I have no idea who most of you are, either. So I guess that sort of puts us on an even playing field. Only real difference is you all get the benefit of word of mouth. Your friends have heard about me, your scouts, the old timers who have told my tales in the back. Some of you have scratched and clawed your way to highly respected statuses in the XHF over the past few years, but I’m a XHF Global Legend the MINUTE I walk into the building.”
“The rest of you?”
He scoffed.
“I'd go on to say that a good chunk of you barely even matter in the grand scheme of XHF, let alone the world. You are all just there to be thrown out. Like luggage at an airport terminal. And as for the rest of you so called “top guys” here in XHF?”
Steve glances around the interview set of his new show.
“You’re all about to completely experience the awesome reality of the situation.”
He leans back into his chair, runs his palm through his hair and flicks away the metaphorical confidence that was dripping from his hand.
“I’m going to outlast everyone else at the XHF Rumble and I’m going to take my rightful spot at the top of XHF. You are going to get to see exactly how I train and exactly how I make it all happen. Exactly how I put it all together on the Road to the Rumble. Right here on The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome!”
He pauses for a moment as the self plug on his own show slowly passes into your brain.
“I may not have been around for awhile but like it or not, I’m still cream. And cream rises to the top.”
Steve looks into the camera.
“It’s fuckin science bitch.”
The IWF World Champion kicks his feet up and leans back in the chair. Shortly after, you can hear the voice of an interviewer, off set.
Off Set: People haven’t seen you in a long time, some of the current roster may have never met you before, On or off the camera. If you could say one thing to make a new first impression to everyone in the XHF, what would you say?
Steve ponders his answer to the question for a few moments. Finally his eyes light up and he smiles and nods as he loads up his response.
“Suck it.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha….
Fade out on his obnoxious laughter.
You can hear the confidence in his voice but an old grainy piece of footage starts to play on the screen. It had a date stamp with the year two thousand three! Then the words “New to XHF” appear on the screen.
“They are going to say I’m old…
A collage of quick clips featuring a much younger Steve Awesome from his very first XHF vignettes, shooting baskets on the court, sinking hole in ones on the green. Knocking homers out of the park. It gets faster and faster showing Steve Awesome being good at everything. From bowling, to acting, botany and cooking.
“They are going to wonder what I’m about.”
A new collage of titles, trophies and accolades go flying through the screen. Titles from places you’ve never heard of, and some you have. The XCrown title and of course the IWF Championship both float across the screen as well.
“They are going to want to know what I’ve done.”
“Where I’ve been all this time.”
“Why I think I deserve to come back and compete in the XHF rumble after all this time.”
“I guess most importantly, they are going to want to know who the hell Steve Awesome is.”
We finally see his face. Tight framed head shot. Sunglasses. Smirk. Impeccable charisma.
“Well that’s the whole point of this show.”
-~The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome!~-
Steve sat in the big red interview chair facing the camera. He was definitely the type of guy who wore his sunglasses indoors. In fact, it was kind of his gimmick. Even at almost forty, he had that heart throb appeal. Though he had a smirky face that you just wanted to punch.
“Yes. I’m doing a reality tv show. And on this show you are going to get a first hand glimpse into the awesome reality of myself.”
That punchable smirk shows up as he presents himself.
“Steve Awesome.”
“You are going to follow me in my day to day life as I train and get prepared on my road to the rumble. And I’m really glad that I got the chance to do this show because it will really give the XHF Network viewers a real chance to know me and understand me. If I had to break it down into a few short words, I’m an entertaining awesome asskicker. But I’m so much more then all that. Let’s face it, a couple paragraphs of dialogue just couldn’t possibly capture what I am and what I will eventually mean to all of you.”
“A reality show is really just the type of medium I need to encapsulate the type of perfect life I lead. I can show the XHF Network fans who don’t know or who don’t remember the type of once in a lifetime legend I am. I’m the type of guy who has kept himself relevant in the eyes of most for twenty years. I’ve been winning world championships and I’ve wrestled in three different decades. And sure, I fully expect people to claim how they don’t know me or care about my return.”
He chuckles to himself and leans forward.
But obviously , if you have to mention me by name, then clearly I’m already in your head.
He simply shrugs his shoulders.
And the other interesting fact that, well I have no idea who most of you are, either. So I guess that sort of puts us on an even playing field. Only real difference is you all get the benefit of word of mouth. Your friends have heard about me, your scouts, the old timers who have told my tales in the back. Some of you have scratched and clawed your way to highly respected statuses in the XHF over the past few years, but I’m a XHF Global Legend the MINUTE I walk into the building.”
“The rest of you?”
He scoffed.
“I'd go on to say that a good chunk of you barely even matter in the grand scheme of XHF, let alone the world. You are all just there to be thrown out. Like luggage at an airport terminal. And as for the rest of you so called “top guys” here in XHF?”
Steve glances around the interview set of his new show.
“You’re all about to completely experience the awesome reality of the situation.”
He leans back into his chair, runs his palm through his hair and flicks away the metaphorical confidence that was dripping from his hand.
“I’m going to outlast everyone else at the XHF Rumble and I’m going to take my rightful spot at the top of XHF. You are going to get to see exactly how I train and exactly how I make it all happen. Exactly how I put it all together on the Road to the Rumble. Right here on The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome!”
He pauses for a moment as the self plug on his own show slowly passes into your brain.
“I may not have been around for awhile but like it or not, I’m still cream. And cream rises to the top.”
Steve looks into the camera.
“It’s fuckin science bitch.”
The IWF World Champion kicks his feet up and leans back in the chair. Shortly after, you can hear the voice of an interviewer, off set.
Off Set: People haven’t seen you in a long time, some of the current roster may have never met you before, On or off the camera. If you could say one thing to make a new first impression to everyone in the XHF, what would you say?
Steve ponders his answer to the question for a few moments. Finally his eyes light up and he smiles and nods as he loads up his response.
“Suck it.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha….
Fade out on his obnoxious laughter.
