I Ran (So Far Away) [LD Rumble, Yeah!]
Apr 2, 2020 21:49:59 GMT -5
Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), Dave D-Flipz, and 6 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Apr 2, 2020 21:49:59 GMT -5
*The camera opens on a scene you wouldn’t expect while everyone is inside, outside! Lord Dominicus, the greatest of evil former JH Champs, is having a nice jog as leaves and trees and whatnot flow past him. We’re looking from a camera angle that seems almost impossible and wonderfully stable considering the scene as we look up to Dominicus having a confident light jog through what appears to be a beautiful park.*
LD: Ah yes, thank you for joining me on this run. As you can see, it is a beautiful spring day out and nothing is bad- well not for me.
*He chuckles*
LD: You see I, Lord Dominicus, in my genius have realized something nobody else has. With everyone locked indoors fighting the urge to eat all the ice cream they can, I have the great outdoors all to myself in which to prepare for the XHF Network Rumble! That gives me a distinct advantage!
*He points to his head as he continues to work on his cardio.*
LD: I’ve been watching all these idiotic fools prattle on about how great they are and how much they can lift or some garbage like that. There’s some decrepit alcoholic whose first promo tried to hit a quota of curse words- then having achieved that he’s eschewed that tactic. I must give him the required respect for his accomplishments. I must….BUT I WON’T!
*LD tries to spit on the floor but uh…he’s wearing a mask so that didn’t work at all. He pads at his face, now covered in wet spit-mask. Amazingly he’s still running. The park view seems familiar, maybe he’s going in a circle or something.*
LD: Ptw, fflwrf, gluck, ga…. I’ve seen a fair few Europeans or pseudo-Europeans having a little eurotrash party about how the XHF Network was coming to their garbage continent to finally give some relief to their downtrodden people. It was vile. But then I was delighted to hear some BREAKING NEWS, HALFWITS! YOUR PLAUGE-RIDDEN WASTELANDS AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR US! Now we shall fare the mighty ocean! Be happy, it’s keeping you out of the pit you call home!
*Dominicus looks slightly left of the camera and seems to be quietly trying to gesture something away- all without breaking stride.*
LD: I’ve seen some woman concealing basketballs and her stupid friends try to save the world. If you truly wanted it saved, you’d stop me. But since you’re not doing that it means you’re either pro-DARK LORD OF SUFERING AND CRUELTY or you’re way too incompetent to figure out my SHADOWISH ORIGINS! Probably the second, those volleyballs you’re trying to steal are pretty easy to see, ma’am.
*The gesturing becomes more pronounced, like he’s shooing something away.*
LD: No..no…get away fro- I’ve seen some arrogant dunce try to reheat some leftovers in the form of a cookie recipe that DIDN’T EVEN INCLUDE A SNIDE REMARK ABOUT THE KING OF EVIL LORD DOMINICUS. But that’s fine, none of my enemies take heed of me and that is my advantage. Like the MIGHTY CORGI I shall sneak in and destroy my opponents utterly with my tiny sharp teeth-like in-ring skills! HEY DON’T TOUH THA-
*Suddenly Lord Dominicus is underwater, and being chased by a shark. He uh….starts to pantomime swimming while still his lower half says light jog.*
LD: Glub glub glub glub glub *sharp look at something to the left of the camera* GLUB GLUB GLUB!
*The scene shifts again and now we’re on a race track, like a car race track! Lord Dominicus jogs lightly as stock cars whiz by him.*
LD: Even the X*Crown Champion is letting his mouth run about some crap nobody cared about that happened on a day build specifically for you dimwits to “fool” each other. BUT THE REAL QUESTION EVERYONE IS ASKING IS: Was Hayden’s stupid girlfriend dealing drugs or not and how does that have any bearing on the Rumble match?
*OH NO! NOW HE’S BEING CHASED BY GODZILLA! Lord Dominicus never breaks his stride though as he lightly jogs away from the radioactive-flame spewing tribute to America’s nuclear hubris.*
LD: One of you ninnies is even just eating with your wife LIKE SOME PATHETIC SAP! Everyone’s got their mouths busy but nobody except for THE GREAT LORD DOMINICUS has any sort of a workout plan. Here I am, seeing the wonders of…nature-
*Oh he’s in space now. Dominicus grabs his throat and struggles (while still jogging, amazing).*
LD: CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
*He’s back in the park, and takes a huge breath of the fresh air.*
LD: -the wonders of nature and getting my body prepared to UTTERLY DESTROY all I encounter in the ring!
*There’s a beep, but no change behind Dominicus. He does seem to jog a little faster though.*
LD: And that, my SIMPLETON VIEWERS AND ENEMIES is my distinct-
*A few more beeps and LD is continuing to increase his pace around the park.*
LD: -advantage. So go ahead, prattle on like the DUMB DORKS you are while I-
*Beep beep beep beep. Wow, he’s running really fast now.*
LD: While….phew….while I become the UBER DOMINI-
*The beeps continue to increase and suddenly WHAM, Dominicus faceplants, also the park is torn down to reveal a normal wall. What a trip right? I wonder what happened. We’ll never know because the camera fades out.
LD: Ah yes, thank you for joining me on this run. As you can see, it is a beautiful spring day out and nothing is bad- well not for me.
*He chuckles*
LD: You see I, Lord Dominicus, in my genius have realized something nobody else has. With everyone locked indoors fighting the urge to eat all the ice cream they can, I have the great outdoors all to myself in which to prepare for the XHF Network Rumble! That gives me a distinct advantage!
*He points to his head as he continues to work on his cardio.*
LD: I’ve been watching all these idiotic fools prattle on about how great they are and how much they can lift or some garbage like that. There’s some decrepit alcoholic whose first promo tried to hit a quota of curse words- then having achieved that he’s eschewed that tactic. I must give him the required respect for his accomplishments. I must….BUT I WON’T!
*LD tries to spit on the floor but uh…he’s wearing a mask so that didn’t work at all. He pads at his face, now covered in wet spit-mask. Amazingly he’s still running. The park view seems familiar, maybe he’s going in a circle or something.*
LD: Ptw, fflwrf, gluck, ga…. I’ve seen a fair few Europeans or pseudo-Europeans having a little eurotrash party about how the XHF Network was coming to their garbage continent to finally give some relief to their downtrodden people. It was vile. But then I was delighted to hear some BREAKING NEWS, HALFWITS! YOUR PLAUGE-RIDDEN WASTELANDS AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR US! Now we shall fare the mighty ocean! Be happy, it’s keeping you out of the pit you call home!
*Dominicus looks slightly left of the camera and seems to be quietly trying to gesture something away- all without breaking stride.*
LD: I’ve seen some woman concealing basketballs and her stupid friends try to save the world. If you truly wanted it saved, you’d stop me. But since you’re not doing that it means you’re either pro-DARK LORD OF SUFERING AND CRUELTY or you’re way too incompetent to figure out my SHADOWISH ORIGINS! Probably the second, those volleyballs you’re trying to steal are pretty easy to see, ma’am.
*The gesturing becomes more pronounced, like he’s shooing something away.*
LD: No..no…get away fro- I’ve seen some arrogant dunce try to reheat some leftovers in the form of a cookie recipe that DIDN’T EVEN INCLUDE A SNIDE REMARK ABOUT THE KING OF EVIL LORD DOMINICUS. But that’s fine, none of my enemies take heed of me and that is my advantage. Like the MIGHTY CORGI I shall sneak in and destroy my opponents utterly with my tiny sharp teeth-like in-ring skills! HEY DON’T TOUH THA-
*Suddenly Lord Dominicus is underwater, and being chased by a shark. He uh….starts to pantomime swimming while still his lower half says light jog.*
LD: Glub glub glub glub glub *sharp look at something to the left of the camera* GLUB GLUB GLUB!
*The scene shifts again and now we’re on a race track, like a car race track! Lord Dominicus jogs lightly as stock cars whiz by him.*
LD: Even the X*Crown Champion is letting his mouth run about some crap nobody cared about that happened on a day build specifically for you dimwits to “fool” each other. BUT THE REAL QUESTION EVERYONE IS ASKING IS: Was Hayden’s stupid girlfriend dealing drugs or not and how does that have any bearing on the Rumble match?
*OH NO! NOW HE’S BEING CHASED BY GODZILLA! Lord Dominicus never breaks his stride though as he lightly jogs away from the radioactive-flame spewing tribute to America’s nuclear hubris.*
LD: One of you ninnies is even just eating with your wife LIKE SOME PATHETIC SAP! Everyone’s got their mouths busy but nobody except for THE GREAT LORD DOMINICUS has any sort of a workout plan. Here I am, seeing the wonders of…nature-
*Oh he’s in space now. Dominicus grabs his throat and struggles (while still jogging, amazing).*
LD: CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
*He’s back in the park, and takes a huge breath of the fresh air.*
LD: -the wonders of nature and getting my body prepared to UTTERLY DESTROY all I encounter in the ring!
*There’s a beep, but no change behind Dominicus. He does seem to jog a little faster though.*
LD: And that, my SIMPLETON VIEWERS AND ENEMIES is my distinct-
*A few more beeps and LD is continuing to increase his pace around the park.*
LD: -advantage. So go ahead, prattle on like the DUMB DORKS you are while I-
*Beep beep beep beep. Wow, he’s running really fast now.*
LD: While….phew….while I become the UBER DOMINI-
*The beeps continue to increase and suddenly WHAM, Dominicus faceplants, also the park is torn down to reveal a normal wall. What a trip right? I wonder what happened. We’ll never know because the camera fades out.
