Operation Enduring Clusterfuck part 1 (Ratty Rumble 3)
Apr 3, 2020 0:56:20 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 1 more like this
Post by RattyMcDaddy on Apr 3, 2020 0:56:20 GMT -5
The scene opens in a non descript store where Rat Bastard is standing in an empty toilet paper isle looking perplexed.
The God damn world has gone mad. People losing their shit, not stocking up on food, or snacks, or booze, but god damn toilet paper. I guess its the one commodity in this world that will actually have fucking value when the end of civilization is upon us,and we have to actually start bartering with each other. But what would the value of a roll of shit paper be in this brave new world? Does a fucking Costco family sized pack get you the hand of someones first born daughter?
Just then at the end if the isle behind Rat,Mongo the Destroyer is spotted. A shopping cart full of whatelse, stacks and fucking stacks of toilet paper. Mongo noticed Rat, more then likely by the site of his greasy hair. He mouths "shit", turning his cart and high tailing it out of the isle, his cart making a slight sliding noise as he turns out of camera sight.
Rat turns at the noise, but doesn't think anything of it, he continues along the isle.
I mean, thats fucking weird, but its still not the weirdest shit as of late. Uhhhhh, Tiger King? What in the blue dead balls of Muffasa the fuck is that shit. To be quite honest, those fucking songs that Joe Exotic came out with are fuckin' fire.
Rat clears his throat....then breaks out in song.....
🎶'Cause I saw tiger
Now I understand
I saw tiger, and the tiger saw man 🎶
Man, he is a true musical master, and to top it off he is petty as fuck! What about that song Here Kitty Kitty? Carol Fuckin' Baskin,man! He fed her god damn husband to a tiger! A fucking tiger! And she got away with that shit, then got Joe locked up and shit! What a piece of trash that fucking chick is! Legit,you guys, Hashtag FreeJoeExotic, and Hashtag Carolkilledherhusband.
Rat bends down to check out what kind of chips that have, and over his back we can see Mongos Secratary Bonnie Jenkins, she is wearing a Carol Didn't do it shirt. She looks at Rat and immediately turns and leaves. Rat looks back one his shoulder, but doesn't recognize her from the back, but he notices something as he pops back up into camera view.
Wow did you guys see the cakes on that broad? It was like Dolly Madison and Lil Debbie were in there just frosting cakes and laying it on thick! I wonder who shes qarenteened with, and if she needs some company!
Rat licks his pinkies and runs them across his eye brows as he smirks.
Now back to what I was saying, bartering in this brave new world and shit, value of a roll of butt tissue and what not. You know what would have a shit load of value? 21 gold god damn world title belts. I bet I could get at least a bad of peanuts for the Brian Doggy Dog Ultimate Title, and oh shit, if Cross Recoba stops fucking around and gets that fake ass diamond belt into it and makes it 22 belts, im pretty sure someone will trade me a heavily worn sweat shirt, that may include arm pit stains for that one. You guys get the idea tho, right? Whoever wins this Rumble is gonna have huge trading power when the world falls into deep decline.
Rat strolls along some more and comes upon the beer cooler. He looks about them, going door to door, finally he finds what he is looking for, a 12 pack of Bastards Brews, still avaiable at stores nationwide, and in the XHF Network shop.
He opens the 12 pack, takes a bottle out and chugs the contents of a beer, then lets out a large burp. The camera pans back a bit to show an older white haired woman looking at Rat in disgust. He meekly smiles at her, then shows her the bottle....
It's ok Miss, my face is on the bottle......
The camera focuses in on Rats face on the bottle as we fade to black.
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