Breaking News With Kira Izumi! (Rumble RP)
Apr 3, 2020 2:27:03 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 3 more like this
Post by Kira Izumi on Apr 3, 2020 2:27:03 GMT -5
The sky is blue, the clouds are white and the cities are empty as Covid-19 spreads like a wildfire all around the world. One woman who must not watch the news can be seen sitting on the corner of a street. With a sad look on her face she mutters only two words to herself.
“Breaking… News…”
The words spark PTSD into the hearts of many, and by many I mean the six or seven people who were in a certain phantasmic promotion. A chill runs down the back of a japanese fellow as he walks by and hears the dreaded words. He stops and looks at the woman, not giving a care in the world for his own health.
Social distancing is for pussies! It's a thought I'm sure ran down someone's mind somewhere, but not in this man's mind. The only thing he could think about were those two words. He kneeled down to see the woman's face, almost as soon as he does he’s jarred back in a state of shock. He knows this woman. Everyone knows her. The child of the cosmos wouldn’t quit @ing the world about it.
”Is that you? Is that really you, Angela Dewitt?!”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! It is me, Angela Dewitt!”
”But Angela, why didn’t you warn us about the CoronaVirus?! You always told us about every signing and other stupid useless stuff no one read about! Why not something important?!”
She’s taken aback from the man’s comments. No one read all the breaking news segments? Why did he have to tell her the truth!? More importantly, why didn’t she tell us about the damn virus?!
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! Once Cosmo Kid was found out stealing from the mob and being an all around creep, Angela Dewitt didn’t have a job anymore. I tried to get an interview with her, but she said no comment.”
“Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! She fell off the face of the earth after PHI closed down. She was just found by this man talking to her now! Angela Dewitt had no idea about this Corona Virus. How did a virus come from beer?”
”Are you going to really do that every time you talk?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! Yes, yes she does! Now how did a virus come from beer?”
”It didn’t come from beer. It came from…”
He pauses for a moment, thinking where the hell did it come from?
”Well we don’t know where it came from really. But it’s here and it’s freaking people out. More importantly it’s fucking over my bookings! Promoters are being pussies and are canceling shows, some wrestlers aren’t even going out because they're too scared they’ll get sick! But enough of this stupid corona comes from corona shit, that was funny like two months ago. More importantly right now, why the fuck do you say Breaking News this and that every ten minutes?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! She had a death device implanted in her by Cosmo Kid. If she didn’t break the news, Angela Dewitt would be the one to break.”
” So let me get this straight, no breaking news, no Angela Dewitt?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! That is correct. If she doesn’t break the news, she will die!”
”But how have you survived so far?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! I broke news to my rat friends before i ate them for food.”
”Well… well that’s sad. That’s very sad. Super gross too. But you know what Dewitt? I want you to do it again. I got some news you can break.”
Her eyes widen as she takes a chunk out of a rotten rat.
Bweaking Newth With Angela Dewitt! She’s never been happier in her life to break news again!”
”Well uh… good. Now come with me, and stay six feet away. We got to get to the rumble.”
The japanese man from the japanese promotion heads down the street as we fade to black.
“Breaking… News…”
The words spark PTSD into the hearts of many, and by many I mean the six or seven people who were in a certain phantasmic promotion. A chill runs down the back of a japanese fellow as he walks by and hears the dreaded words. He stops and looks at the woman, not giving a care in the world for his own health.
Social distancing is for pussies! It's a thought I'm sure ran down someone's mind somewhere, but not in this man's mind. The only thing he could think about were those two words. He kneeled down to see the woman's face, almost as soon as he does he’s jarred back in a state of shock. He knows this woman. Everyone knows her. The child of the cosmos wouldn’t quit @ing the world about it.
”Is that you? Is that really you, Angela Dewitt?!”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! It is me, Angela Dewitt!”
”But Angela, why didn’t you warn us about the CoronaVirus?! You always told us about every signing and other stupid useless stuff no one read about! Why not something important?!”
She’s taken aback from the man’s comments. No one read all the breaking news segments? Why did he have to tell her the truth!? More importantly, why didn’t she tell us about the damn virus?!
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! Once Cosmo Kid was found out stealing from the mob and being an all around creep, Angela Dewitt didn’t have a job anymore. I tried to get an interview with her, but she said no comment.”
“Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! She fell off the face of the earth after PHI closed down. She was just found by this man talking to her now! Angela Dewitt had no idea about this Corona Virus. How did a virus come from beer?”
”Are you going to really do that every time you talk?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! Yes, yes she does! Now how did a virus come from beer?”
”It didn’t come from beer. It came from…”
He pauses for a moment, thinking where the hell did it come from?
”Well we don’t know where it came from really. But it’s here and it’s freaking people out. More importantly it’s fucking over my bookings! Promoters are being pussies and are canceling shows, some wrestlers aren’t even going out because they're too scared they’ll get sick! But enough of this stupid corona comes from corona shit, that was funny like two months ago. More importantly right now, why the fuck do you say Breaking News this and that every ten minutes?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! She had a death device implanted in her by Cosmo Kid. If she didn’t break the news, Angela Dewitt would be the one to break.”
” So let me get this straight, no breaking news, no Angela Dewitt?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! That is correct. If she doesn’t break the news, she will die!”
”But how have you survived so far?”
”Breaking News With Angela Dewitt! I broke news to my rat friends before i ate them for food.”
”Well… well that’s sad. That’s very sad. Super gross too. But you know what Dewitt? I want you to do it again. I got some news you can break.”
Her eyes widen as she takes a chunk out of a rotten rat.
Bweaking Newth With Angela Dewitt! She’s never been happier in her life to break news again!”
”Well uh… good. Now come with me, and stay six feet away. We got to get to the rumble.”
The japanese man from the japanese promotion heads down the street as we fade to black.
