Thanks, Steve. [Rumble RP1]
Apr 3, 2020 10:28:49 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Ryan, and 2 more like this
Post by Technical Perfection on Apr 3, 2020 10:28:49 GMT -5
The feed cuts in on the fore deck of Chris Card’s very expensive Quinta Essentia yacht. It’s mission of self isolation in these worrying times is to sail around the vast expense of the Atlantic Ocean and stay the hell away from possible carries of nasty viruses. Not that Card is in an at risk group, he’s just doing social distancing better than anyone else. Supply drops have been organized to his private island residence and the journey has been plotted to make sure that the yacht never runs out of the important needs of its crew. Scotch and Cigars being the highest on that list.
The gentle wash of the ocean against the sides of the ship provide a pleasant backdrop to this nautical scene. The fore deck of Chris Card’s luxury yacht is sparse with little more that a comfortable looking deck chair and the subject of today’s piece of promotional material, Chris Card himself dressed in a smart black suit with purple pinstripe, a white shirt and a matching tie and handkerchief.
Chris Card: Isolation? Well, it’s a good time to go out on your private yacht. Don’t worry XHF fans, I’ve had every member of my crew tested. Of course I knew where to get the testing kits, I’m Chris Card and ways and means are my speciality. When Chris Card wants something, Chris Card gets it. I suppose that’s part of the luxury of being comfortably well off. One of the other luxuries I have? I have a very... VERY good legal team.
Card grins his old cracked gravestone smile. It’s discomforting to look at and laced with more than a little smugness. One could almost call it a touch sleazy, but then Card will freely admit he’s more than a little sleazy at the best of times.
Chris Card: So I’d like to say a big thank you to Steve Awesome. Because I know you’re an HXF legend. I know you’re one hell of a talent inside the ropes. And I know your appearance here marks you as one of the favourites to walk out of the Rumble with the X Crown. But your presence here unlocked something else.
Card emits a little chuckle. He is in a pleased with himself, self congratulatory mood and it shows. Every inch of his movements ooze confidence and smug satisfaction. This is a man who is pleased as punch with the way things have unfolded over recent days.
Chris Card: You see, there is something that I haven’t been allowed to talk about, legally, until you put your name in the hat for the Rumble, Steve. My former employers. Let me spell it out for the viewers nice and clearly. When I left IWF, there was a legal settlement between their lawyer, singular…
Card waves for the camera. A slow, mocking wave, laced with sarcasm and ill feelings quashed. This has been a victory for Card of the highest order and he is enjoying every moment of it..
Card: Hi Hannah!
Chris Card: ...and my highly skilled legal team. I was paid off the remainder of my highly lucrative contract. They retained the rights to the name “Real Man’s Wrestler” and my footage within their federation. And I was not allowed to speak about them, at all, period. However, and here’s the wrinkle, they were not allowed to interfere with my future career. My team put that clause in. And should either side break that arrangement, the terms become null and void and the party who broke the agreement forfeits all benefits therein.
Leaning into the camera, Card’s smirk is unshiftable. Fans of him as a wrestler know this look. This doesn’t just represent winning. This represents winning by nefarious means. This is the look Card put on after defeating Danny Ray using extreme amounts of subterfuge and everything going completely to plan.
Chris Card: My legal team confirmed to me that Steve Awesome appearing in the XHF Rumble counts as their interference. Therefore they break the agreement. I don’t have to pay them a penny back and I get to keep this yacht, which that settlement helped in a large part to pay for. And they lose something far more important.
Beaming like the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carrol’s Alice In Wonderland, Card’s grin is so wide it’s filling the whole of his face.
Chris Card: My SILENCE.
Taking time for a dramatic pause to let that sink in, Card contemplates how many people would kill to have his mouth zipped up tight. It is a thought that obviously amuses him greatly.
Chris Card: Oh, how much would people around the XHF have paid to make Chris Card shut his mouth? Every opponent that I have mercilessly psychologically assassinated. Every time I have gained enough advantage to win a match through my words, my opponents left second guessing themselves merely through the power of my speech. Every person who I have hauled over the coals mentally by verbally dissecting their every weakness. But the only person who has ever got me to shut up is Steve Awesome’s boss. And he just royally screwed that up.
Are you aware of “The Batman Gambit?” That’s when your plan works because your opponent acts exactly as you would have expected them to. It’s common within a wrestling match to pull off such a risk, especially for Chris Card, but he just pulled a legal one out outside the ring.
Chris Card: So Steve? You work for an organisation that, in my opinion is run by an inept leader. If he had an ounce of competence, you wouldn’t be in this match. A man who I would not trust to run a bath without calling the coastguard AND the fire brigade. A man who drove XHF legend Spike Kane into early retirement when he was the most marketable asset on the roster. A man who psychologically crippled Nighthawk, my greatest rival to the point where he too retired. A man who hired as one of his senior HR team someone who was having sexual relations, hi Sarah, with one of the active roster. I’m not even putting an allegedly in there.
Card’s grin has faded a little, but is still there. The lack of an allegedly comes from knowing, really knowing, that he could prove that in court in a slander trial. The proof is out there and he can call on a host of disgruntled ex employees to offer support should he be taken up on this.
Chris Card: Now Mongo runs a quite loose ship, pardon the pun, here. But he appears to know what he’s doing. So Steve, you’re going to have to deal with something that it’s been a long time for you to face. Management who have a clue. I don’t know who you had to blow to get that IWF title but I won my AWF one on merit. And I will earn the right to get it back. You come from a land of free lunches for the privileged and table scraps for those who are out of favour. I worked my ass off to become a Hall Of Famer.
Card flashes his Hall Of Fame ring for the camera. The glint of sunlight off the surface shows the precioud metal and inlaid diamonds off beautifully.
Chris Card: And I worked my ass off to become Le Champion des Champions. The best title holder on the entire Network in 2019. Calling yourself Awesome doesn’t make you such. I know you’re good. I’ve studied you work. But you’re far from home, far from the warm protection of management. You jumped overboard and you’re in a shoal of sharks now. Wearing a shirt that says, “Eat me.”
Card stops to issue a polite request to one of his staff who is within earshot.
Chris Card: Would somebody fetch me a cigar and an ashtray?
One of the crew hurries off to fulfil Card’s request. He returns with a huge Cuban. Card produces his favourite cigar cutter from his jacket pocket and carefully snips the ends off before grabbing a box of matches from the other pocket and, skilfully guarding the flame from the wind, strikes one and lights his cigar, taking his first draw of the day.
Chris Card: You’ve got Bobby Barratt, a dangerous individual who is going to cling on to his X*Crown like a dog clings on to a bone. And I can legally now say far from the most incompetent Bobby in the industry. You’ve got Anthony Caffrey, a man who for months was impossible to beat until Vincent Draven broke that streak. You’ve got Michael Storm, an unhinged psychopath who managed to beat the niceness firmly out of my body. You’ve got Cross Recoba, my friend, my long time tag partner who I personally brought into the AWF fold in order to enact a Hostile Takeover on the whole XHF Network. You’ve got so much talent, so many different and varied skill sets that you cannot possibly prepare for everyone involved.
Card takes a long, slow draw on his cigar and blows a huge cloud of smoke, letting it drift away on the cool sea breeze. He would have considered making a smoke ring but with the breeze, it may have proved difficult to maintain its shape.
Chris Card: And then you’ve got me. Now we never faced in the IWF, Steve. There’s no way management would have risked one of their top guys getting mentally shattered by my words. I’m a meticulous planner. But in a Rumble? That doesn’t help. I’m also known as a fantastic improviser. With all the bodies filling up the ring there’s no way the referees can keep their eyes on everyone. And I have the ring sense to know when I’m not being watched and by god, when you stop watching Chris Card you know he’s going to do something shady.
Another lengthy, slow puff on the cigar. Card smiles as the nicotine hits his system and lounges back further in his deckchair. This is pure relaxation for Card, just shooting the breeze about an upcoming match and enjoying Cuba’s finest export.
Chris Card: Of course I have an excellent general strategy for the match. I’m not going to reveal it. That would be giving away my great plan. I’m not about to give the rest of the combatants that sort of an advantage. But it’s a good strategy and I’m going to have to stick to it while I can. Strategy? Sorted. Tactics? Well I’m going to have to make them up on the fly. And there’s no one better at that than me. What’s that thing that Johnny Sniper says? “Improvise, adapt, overcome.” Yeah, that applies to the XHF Rumble as much as it does to military life. I’ll be improving solutions to problems that come up, I’ll be adapting my game plan to the opposition presented and, by whatever higher power you believe in, I will overcome my opponents.
Card carefully taps the cigar on the ash tray next to him, sending a grey spray across its base. He lifts the cigar back to his lips and takes another draw, again blowing a puff of thick smoke into the air over the Atlantic Ocean.
Chris Card: Call me what you will. I’ve had many sobriquets applied to me across my career. Real Deal. Ace of Hearts. Wildcard. Technical Perfection. Real Man’s Wrestler. Le Champon des Champions. I’ve been in this game a long time and I’m only getting better. I learn more, I polish my game, I improve as a wrestler every single day. I’ve got a makeshift weight room below decks on this yacht. And I’ve got satellite connection to the internet so I can still study film on anyone I’m not confident I can guess their style.
Never intending to be boastful, Card is more matter of fact about his facilities. This is never about showing off, never has been. It merely serves as a warning to those who expect Card’s training to be slowed down by his nautical adventures.
Chris Card: Forget what you knew, Steve. I’m sure you can find footage of me in the IWF libraries. I mean, you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t put in time in the clearly defined CD section at IWF headquarters. But I’ve grown. I’m better, I’m more confident. No one is holding Chris Card down now. I may not be the best athlete in the Rumble, my submission based wrestling may not translate well to the format. But I have more tricks up my sleeve that Harry Houdini and I’m capable of busting any and all of them out at any time. And there’s one important thing to remember.
One final draw on the cigar. One pregnant pause to allow the viewers at home to prepare to speak along with the catchphrase that launched a huge selection of victories.
Chris Card: I’m very… VERY good at what I do.
The gentle wash of the ocean against the sides of the ship provide a pleasant backdrop to this nautical scene. The fore deck of Chris Card’s luxury yacht is sparse with little more that a comfortable looking deck chair and the subject of today’s piece of promotional material, Chris Card himself dressed in a smart black suit with purple pinstripe, a white shirt and a matching tie and handkerchief.
Chris Card: Isolation? Well, it’s a good time to go out on your private yacht. Don’t worry XHF fans, I’ve had every member of my crew tested. Of course I knew where to get the testing kits, I’m Chris Card and ways and means are my speciality. When Chris Card wants something, Chris Card gets it. I suppose that’s part of the luxury of being comfortably well off. One of the other luxuries I have? I have a very... VERY good legal team.
Card grins his old cracked gravestone smile. It’s discomforting to look at and laced with more than a little smugness. One could almost call it a touch sleazy, but then Card will freely admit he’s more than a little sleazy at the best of times.
Chris Card: So I’d like to say a big thank you to Steve Awesome. Because I know you’re an HXF legend. I know you’re one hell of a talent inside the ropes. And I know your appearance here marks you as one of the favourites to walk out of the Rumble with the X Crown. But your presence here unlocked something else.
Card emits a little chuckle. He is in a pleased with himself, self congratulatory mood and it shows. Every inch of his movements ooze confidence and smug satisfaction. This is a man who is pleased as punch with the way things have unfolded over recent days.
Chris Card: You see, there is something that I haven’t been allowed to talk about, legally, until you put your name in the hat for the Rumble, Steve. My former employers. Let me spell it out for the viewers nice and clearly. When I left IWF, there was a legal settlement between their lawyer, singular…
Card waves for the camera. A slow, mocking wave, laced with sarcasm and ill feelings quashed. This has been a victory for Card of the highest order and he is enjoying every moment of it..
Card: Hi Hannah!
Chris Card: ...and my highly skilled legal team. I was paid off the remainder of my highly lucrative contract. They retained the rights to the name “Real Man’s Wrestler” and my footage within their federation. And I was not allowed to speak about them, at all, period. However, and here’s the wrinkle, they were not allowed to interfere with my future career. My team put that clause in. And should either side break that arrangement, the terms become null and void and the party who broke the agreement forfeits all benefits therein.
Leaning into the camera, Card’s smirk is unshiftable. Fans of him as a wrestler know this look. This doesn’t just represent winning. This represents winning by nefarious means. This is the look Card put on after defeating Danny Ray using extreme amounts of subterfuge and everything going completely to plan.
Chris Card: My legal team confirmed to me that Steve Awesome appearing in the XHF Rumble counts as their interference. Therefore they break the agreement. I don’t have to pay them a penny back and I get to keep this yacht, which that settlement helped in a large part to pay for. And they lose something far more important.
Beaming like the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carrol’s Alice In Wonderland, Card’s grin is so wide it’s filling the whole of his face.
Chris Card: My SILENCE.
Taking time for a dramatic pause to let that sink in, Card contemplates how many people would kill to have his mouth zipped up tight. It is a thought that obviously amuses him greatly.
Chris Card: Oh, how much would people around the XHF have paid to make Chris Card shut his mouth? Every opponent that I have mercilessly psychologically assassinated. Every time I have gained enough advantage to win a match through my words, my opponents left second guessing themselves merely through the power of my speech. Every person who I have hauled over the coals mentally by verbally dissecting their every weakness. But the only person who has ever got me to shut up is Steve Awesome’s boss. And he just royally screwed that up.
Are you aware of “The Batman Gambit?” That’s when your plan works because your opponent acts exactly as you would have expected them to. It’s common within a wrestling match to pull off such a risk, especially for Chris Card, but he just pulled a legal one out outside the ring.
Chris Card: So Steve? You work for an organisation that, in my opinion is run by an inept leader. If he had an ounce of competence, you wouldn’t be in this match. A man who I would not trust to run a bath without calling the coastguard AND the fire brigade. A man who drove XHF legend Spike Kane into early retirement when he was the most marketable asset on the roster. A man who psychologically crippled Nighthawk, my greatest rival to the point where he too retired. A man who hired as one of his senior HR team someone who was having sexual relations, hi Sarah, with one of the active roster. I’m not even putting an allegedly in there.
Card’s grin has faded a little, but is still there. The lack of an allegedly comes from knowing, really knowing, that he could prove that in court in a slander trial. The proof is out there and he can call on a host of disgruntled ex employees to offer support should he be taken up on this.
Chris Card: Now Mongo runs a quite loose ship, pardon the pun, here. But he appears to know what he’s doing. So Steve, you’re going to have to deal with something that it’s been a long time for you to face. Management who have a clue. I don’t know who you had to blow to get that IWF title but I won my AWF one on merit. And I will earn the right to get it back. You come from a land of free lunches for the privileged and table scraps for those who are out of favour. I worked my ass off to become a Hall Of Famer.
Card flashes his Hall Of Fame ring for the camera. The glint of sunlight off the surface shows the precioud metal and inlaid diamonds off beautifully.
Chris Card: And I worked my ass off to become Le Champion des Champions. The best title holder on the entire Network in 2019. Calling yourself Awesome doesn’t make you such. I know you’re good. I’ve studied you work. But you’re far from home, far from the warm protection of management. You jumped overboard and you’re in a shoal of sharks now. Wearing a shirt that says, “Eat me.”
Card stops to issue a polite request to one of his staff who is within earshot.
Chris Card: Would somebody fetch me a cigar and an ashtray?
One of the crew hurries off to fulfil Card’s request. He returns with a huge Cuban. Card produces his favourite cigar cutter from his jacket pocket and carefully snips the ends off before grabbing a box of matches from the other pocket and, skilfully guarding the flame from the wind, strikes one and lights his cigar, taking his first draw of the day.
Chris Card: You’ve got Bobby Barratt, a dangerous individual who is going to cling on to his X*Crown like a dog clings on to a bone. And I can legally now say far from the most incompetent Bobby in the industry. You’ve got Anthony Caffrey, a man who for months was impossible to beat until Vincent Draven broke that streak. You’ve got Michael Storm, an unhinged psychopath who managed to beat the niceness firmly out of my body. You’ve got Cross Recoba, my friend, my long time tag partner who I personally brought into the AWF fold in order to enact a Hostile Takeover on the whole XHF Network. You’ve got so much talent, so many different and varied skill sets that you cannot possibly prepare for everyone involved.
Card takes a long, slow draw on his cigar and blows a huge cloud of smoke, letting it drift away on the cool sea breeze. He would have considered making a smoke ring but with the breeze, it may have proved difficult to maintain its shape.
Chris Card: And then you’ve got me. Now we never faced in the IWF, Steve. There’s no way management would have risked one of their top guys getting mentally shattered by my words. I’m a meticulous planner. But in a Rumble? That doesn’t help. I’m also known as a fantastic improviser. With all the bodies filling up the ring there’s no way the referees can keep their eyes on everyone. And I have the ring sense to know when I’m not being watched and by god, when you stop watching Chris Card you know he’s going to do something shady.
Another lengthy, slow puff on the cigar. Card smiles as the nicotine hits his system and lounges back further in his deckchair. This is pure relaxation for Card, just shooting the breeze about an upcoming match and enjoying Cuba’s finest export.
Chris Card: Of course I have an excellent general strategy for the match. I’m not going to reveal it. That would be giving away my great plan. I’m not about to give the rest of the combatants that sort of an advantage. But it’s a good strategy and I’m going to have to stick to it while I can. Strategy? Sorted. Tactics? Well I’m going to have to make them up on the fly. And there’s no one better at that than me. What’s that thing that Johnny Sniper says? “Improvise, adapt, overcome.” Yeah, that applies to the XHF Rumble as much as it does to military life. I’ll be improving solutions to problems that come up, I’ll be adapting my game plan to the opposition presented and, by whatever higher power you believe in, I will overcome my opponents.
Card carefully taps the cigar on the ash tray next to him, sending a grey spray across its base. He lifts the cigar back to his lips and takes another draw, again blowing a puff of thick smoke into the air over the Atlantic Ocean.
Chris Card: Call me what you will. I’ve had many sobriquets applied to me across my career. Real Deal. Ace of Hearts. Wildcard. Technical Perfection. Real Man’s Wrestler. Le Champon des Champions. I’ve been in this game a long time and I’m only getting better. I learn more, I polish my game, I improve as a wrestler every single day. I’ve got a makeshift weight room below decks on this yacht. And I’ve got satellite connection to the internet so I can still study film on anyone I’m not confident I can guess their style.
Never intending to be boastful, Card is more matter of fact about his facilities. This is never about showing off, never has been. It merely serves as a warning to those who expect Card’s training to be slowed down by his nautical adventures.
Chris Card: Forget what you knew, Steve. I’m sure you can find footage of me in the IWF libraries. I mean, you’ll never get anywhere if you don’t put in time in the clearly defined CD section at IWF headquarters. But I’ve grown. I’m better, I’m more confident. No one is holding Chris Card down now. I may not be the best athlete in the Rumble, my submission based wrestling may not translate well to the format. But I have more tricks up my sleeve that Harry Houdini and I’m capable of busting any and all of them out at any time. And there’s one important thing to remember.
One final draw on the cigar. One pregnant pause to allow the viewers at home to prepare to speak along with the catchphrase that launched a huge selection of victories.
Chris Card: I’m very… VERY good at what I do.
