Timeless Rumble rp 3

[Timeless]

We see our hero Timeless Alex Turner at Niagara Falls. Where Superman saved Lois Lane. No, Roxylishus isn’t going for a dive over the railings for Timeless to fly down and save her, but, he probably could being the Master of Time and Space and all, he hasn’t tried that yet, maybe he will. Saving the world didn’t seem to work with eliminating the bat from Ozzy’s freak gob. Oh well, can’t blame a guy for trying. He is leaning on the railing and skimming through some XHF Rumble footage, he puts the phone away and looks into the camera.

Timeless : Did we miss you Sniper? I don’t even know who the fuck you are, but if an incident with Eric Dane is your go to, then piss off back to that neck brace and wheel chair before I put in the ICU permanently.

Taking them pills wasn’t an opinion doofus, it was an Option! One you should have taken more seriously.

Timeless’ hair blows in the wind on the ledge like a rock star.

Timeless : Yo Rat Bastard! So you are the first ever X Crown Champion. Wow, what a disappointment. I guess everyplace has to start somewhere. That’s fair enough, but then, as times change and companies join, namely SWAT, the bar, it rises. (pump’s his fist in the air mocking another rising) that’s evolution, you keep up or you get run over. It’s like the 4th division team who just won the title and moved up to the 3rd division, they need to get better, they need to improve, they need to recruit and add to last year’s team, or else they won’t survive and will end up back in the minors where they came from. They don’t want that, they need to strive to be the best, so, they have to bring in some new guys, last year’s guys, they step up or they get left behind, it’s nature. Sure it’s nice and nostalgic to see the fore fathers who helped them get going, but then when you look at them ... ‘you’... and then look at us ... me ... (flexes) Wow, it’s a far cry from yesterday to today. So thanks, thanks for your contribution. Take your legends contract, enjoy the limelight while you can, and stay the FUCK out of my way.

Hell Mary? It’s a HAIL MARY MORAN! It takes more in today’s wrestling world than a few harsh words towards the easy beat LGBTKO! Stick to the window lickers if you want to get out of this one alive, step my way and you’ll be retired permanently.

Timeless cracks his knuckles, you got to mix this shit up man.

Timeless : How about Hayden Callahan. Out here complaining that he is being mistreated from the match ups he is receiving since joining SWAT. Punk! You have been here for a cup of coffee! You think you deserve to get in the ring with ME!? Or Valentine? Syberus or Caffrey? TJ or Eddie? Zoran? Fool, take a breath, shut your mouth while Caffrey threatens you slash invites you to team with him slash threatens you another dozen times, and then prattles on about some more bullshit no one else wants to hear or gives a flying fuck about, then, who knows, maybe one day you will be in the ring with us, but to do so now would be to throw you to the wolves, you got potential and one day will be there, i can see that, but not yet, so stop getting ahead of your damn self and work your way up the ladder like everyone else. Geez. Some people.

You may well be the future Callahan, but take a good look pal, you’re looking at the PRESENT! Just like Ratty McFatty is the past. He tells us ‘Trust me when I say that having a prostitute as your sidekick isn’t a personality trait’ but then shows tales of his woe and depression and cheating skank drug addict ex baby momma. Get the fuck out of here with that hypocrite shit.

Timeless holds his fist up in the air, no punches pulled and no fucks given.

Timeless : How about this dweep Caffrey. Take a look in the mirror pal, you aren’t a wrestler. Look at you, you are literally, the most least intimidating wrestler I have ever seen, but now, after viewing your Cookies segment, now, I am intimidated, I mean, you will do ‘whatever it takes’ You will ‘shock and horror’ .... Graffiti a graveyard and trash a motel room. Wait .... allegedly trash a motel room. Wow! Scary stuff! What are you a god damn teenager? That shit sounds like something Goth would do.

Timeless shudders, then gives an arrogant mocking smile

Timeless : I’m Timeless! The Pinnacle! Sir Winsalot! The Epitome of what a wrestler is!

Peck pop

Timeless : You’re the guy with the smile. After I win this will you lose your smile?

You’re a dweep who thinks he is a killer wrestler but you can’t suplex. You can’t body slam. You can powerbomb. You can’t lift a man of his god damn feet. You’re a sorry excuse for a mark who saw someone once tap out and thought, man, I am going to make people do that.

Look at ME and look at YOU!

Timeless double flexes

Timeless : I’m Jack Daniels. You’re some umbrella twirling git.

I’m Superman. You’re Peter Parker

I’m James Dean. You’re Tom Hanks

I’m Michael Jordon. You’re Chris Bosh.

I’m Jim Morrison. You’re John Denver.

I’m N.W.A. You’re Mc Hammer.

I’m Harley Davidson. You’re a scooter.

I’m Danny Zuko. You’re Eugene.

I’m Marty McFly. You’re George.

I’m Eddie Murphy. You’re Mr Bean.

I’m He-Man. You’re Urkel.

I’m Ted Danson. You’re Niles Crane.

I’m Bart. You’re Milhouse.

I’m Arnie. You’re Sheldon.

I’m scotch and steak. You’re milk and FUCKIN COOKIES!!!!

Timeless winks to the camera.

Timeless : Come at me XHF.

Un fade able.