Operation Enduring Clusterfuck 3, the end (Rat Rumble Rp5)

[RattyMcDaddy]

We open with the exciting conclusion inside of the exact same non descript store. Rat is walking about looking annoyed.

Man, everything is gone, no eggs, no flour, no sugar, no ass paper, no hand sanitizer.......piece of shit ass Scorpion..... I can't even make these cookies, this is a complete and utter clusterfuck. All I got is Ryan Youngs tampons, there has to be something in this store that has not been ravaged by these panicked savages.

Rat walks down a few more isles, no Ramen Noodles, no canned foods.......

The world has really gone crazy with this shit. Not Psychotic Goth crazy, I mean really the world hasn't gone ancient Greek dialect crazy.....yet, and the world isn't talking to a coconut......yet, or flipping its hair around like Luke Wilson in Zoolander...

Rat finally stumbles up an isle thats stocked. The candy isle. His eyes like up.

Fuck yeah, finally something I can actually work with.

Rat browses the selection around him, picking up a box of Now and Laters...

Hmmmm, Now and Laters, can't go wrong with this classic, right? They remind me of Cross Recoba. You watch one of his promos and your like, damn this is really good right now! The right kind of sweet and savory. Then later he goes back to sticking his mouth parts right back onto the anus and poop regions of Chris Card.

Rat tosses the Now and Laters into his cart and goes back to browsing the candy. Settling in a box of Hot Tamales....

Yes, another can't miss goody, amiright?!?! These are just like Elissa Saint, at first spicy and intriguing, a little bite of heat on that initial run, then bland, gummy and down right whatever right at the end when it matters.

Rat throws that box into the cart....

Ahhhh yeah, Nerds! Everones favorite! Tangy little bite size nuggets of flavorful coated rocks. I wonder what these things are made of.

Rat flips the box over and starts to read aloud.

Nerds candy is made up of less than 2% corn syrup, artificial flavors, carnauba wax, and artificial coloring. Well shit that sounds alot like Caffery. And not just for his looks being the name sake of this candy. I mean really, his promos are tasty and flavorful, but when you really dive into them they are just really shiny pieces of crap that aren't good for anyone. Artificial as fuck. Whatever though. I'll take em!

Rat tosses them into the cart as well.

Thats enough shopping for me, time to high tail it out of this shit hole, and get away from the weirdness that this world has become, I mean, what the fuck.....

Rat walks up to the check out area, but there are no employees at the registers, he see a sign:

For the safety of our employees and patrons during this time, they are all work from home, pick a register and someone will help ring up your sale via monitor.

Wow, how high tech! Now this is cool.

Rat walks up to an isle, and static fills a monitor and then the face of former XHF everything, the Legend himself, Destruction pops onto the screen. Rat give him a blank stare.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Work from home, man. Easy money and gives me something to do. Scan your stuff,Rat, and don't try to steal anything either, I know how grimmey and shitty of a person you are.

Rat mutters under his breath a bit then scans the Nerds, Hot Tamales, and Now and Laters.

Wow, thats what your getting during a Pandemic? Trying to get Diabetes, or lure kids into vans?

Look cashier, just ring me up, I don't need your commentary. Maybe if you had stuff in stock....

Rat then scans the tampons.

Ohhh, heavy flow huh? Good choice.

They are for a friend......

Ryan Young?

Yeah, how did ya know?

I seen his promo, its defiantly his time of the month.

Great minds, ya know?

They both smirk at each other and nod in agreement before Destruction realizes he is agreeing with Rat.

Is that all,Rat?

Yeah thats it, man.

Cash or Debit?

Debit.

*Destruction figets off of camera* Ok, swipe your card. 

Rat swipes his card and goes to put in his pin number, but before he can Destruction yells through the speaker..

Declined.

But I didn't even enter my......

DECLINED.

I haven't entered...

DEEEEECCCCLLLLLLIIINNNNEEEDD

*Rat lets out a sigh* Cash, I'll pay cash.

*Destruction figets off of camera* Ok, 16.97, insert cash into the glowing green area please.

Rat pulls out a wad of cash from his pocket, digging through it he finds a 20 dollar bill and tries to slides it into the validator, and it slides right back out to him.

Declined

But its cash.

DECLINED

How can cash be declined?

DEEEEEEECCCCCLLLLLIIINNNEEEDDD

Rat looks defeated, he takes a deep sigh and grabs his bag of candy and tampons.

Fuck this Clusterfuck of a shit show. Fuck your store. Fuck you Destruction. Fuck you Scorpion. Fuck you Strangelove. I'm leaving and I'm taking this shit with me.

Rat shakes the bag at the monitor as he begins to walk away.

Stop shoplifter!!!

Rat looks back at Destruction, still on the monitor, and runs out of the store as the scene fades to black.  

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