Battleground 26 : The Spanish Inquisition (Show)

[SWAT Team]

[Peel their caps back by Ice T hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suites Suite is in the ring. We see the Bandit Mobil heading to the ring, The Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter standing in the back of it with The Compton Colossal Bruno beside him, arms folded, muscles bulging and dark sunglasses on. The fans booing, some cheering and showing the KGB colors.].

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/ Dave Shappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch. FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT ’Tron.]

Soutter : Welcome to SUITS SUITE!!! Wow. What a match that was in Manchester with Sainovic. I had him, right in my grasps. I had the X Crown, right in my fingertips. Then, what happened, god damned Timeless.

I told that guy to stay out of my way but he doesn’t listen. The fool Sainovic told anyone from the KGB or Society who interfered in a match would be fired, still he didn’t listen. Insolent bitch!

I’ll sort him out at the Anzac Cup! What a night that is shaping up to be. 32 entrants. 16 teams. Filled in RECORD TIME!

One of them entrants is my guest tonight on the Suite. He has made huge waves since signing up here at SWAT! He could well be the BIGGEST name in the whole XHF! Let’s bring him out right now. ANTHONY CAFFREY!!!! Come on down!

“Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Sterling starts to play in the arena. Anthony Caffrey emerges from the back, dressed in a black leather jacket, red cloth mask, and a pair of jeans. He stares down at the entrance ramp and makes it abundantly clear that he’s not coming down to the ring. The fans boo him mercilessly.

Caffrey : Mr. Soutter, I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t know if you’ve seen the news lately… and judging the lack of a mask on your face, I’m pretty sure that’s a no. I’m going to be keeping my distance. SWAT officials are already endangering my health and safety tonight with this bullshit tables, ladders, and chairs match, I’d rather not compromise my health further. Being near all these mouthbreathers is bad enough.

Soutter rolls his eyes and the fans boo as Caffrey shakes a finger at them.

Soutter : Noted. You have been with us for a short while now here in SWAT, how are you settling in?

Caffrey : I’m the biggest star of the show, so pretty well, thanks for asking.

Caffrey cocks the collar on his jacket.

Soutter : Is that so, wow. Well, ok. Let’s try a different tact. Tonight ... you are featuring in the TLC main event. Teaming with the newly formed Brothers in Anarchy against the Society of the New Breed.

Caffrey : Was that a question?

Caffrey gives a very deliberate pause, taunting Soutter.

Caffrey : Yeah, and I’m going to win.

Soutter : Easier said than done my friend. Trust me, I have known and faced the Society for near on two decades now. While they are no KGB, they are not to be under estimated.

Caffrey : You mean for two decades now you’ve been unable to get the job done? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of big deal? Here I have like, one and a half hands, and two partners who I couldn’t care less about. But I’ve got this.

Soutter : (snickers a little) I look forward to seeing that. Let’s shift over to the Anzac Cup. We have a star-studded line up, last Battleground you and Hayden Callahan agreed to team up, how did that eventuate?

Caffrey : Eventuate? That’s a helluva Scrabble word!

It’s becomingly increasingly clear that Caffrey is dragging his feet through this interview. He smiles, sarcastic as ever.

Caffrey : Callahan’s a world-class athlete, admittedly with bad manners, but still world-class. The two of us together will surely run through the competition, no matter if it’s the Society of the New Breed…

The fans cheer loudly for the Society. Caffrey rolls his eyes.

Caffrey ...or LGBTKO, or a group of nobodies like the KGB.

Soutter : Nobodies huh? (Soutter dismisses the insult, you can see he is mentally taking not of it for a more appropriate time) Callahan looks very impressive. I am really looking forward to his match up with El Combatiente tonight.

Caffrey doesn’t respond, still unpleased about Callahan’s recent comments.

Soutter : So, Manchester, we got to go there. You had Syberus where you wanted him, his ankle was shattered. What happened next? You lost the match but got the immoral victory DQ, then agreed to restart the match?

Caffrey : They don’t pay me if I don’t finish matches, Suit. I’ve already spoken on this… but perhaps you need a reminder.

Caffrey slides up the sleeve on his right hand, revealing how heavily bandaged it is.

Caffrey : I stood in that ring in Manchester, Suit, and I said to myself… ‘What the hell am I doing?’ Syberus and I fought, and I don’t know if you’ve been following… but he kept calling me rubbish in the lead up to that much.

The fans begin a “RUB-BISSSH”, “RUB-BISSSH” chant. Caffrey rolls his eyes and shouts over them.

Caffrey : The only thing rubbish here is the brainsteams of morons like all of you who think the Society of the New Breed holds a candle to Anthony Caffrey. You have trash ass Syberus, the washed-up has-been Johnny Valentine who just got exposed, and some third guy who isn’t even worth mentioning. None of those peasants are worthy of the WRESTLING EMPEROR.

A loud booing.

Caffrey : But as I stood in that ring, Suit, I realized Syberus was right. I had lowered myself down to his level. No longer. Tonight, I destroy his little society, and then I set my sights where I belong: the world championship and the X-Crown. Because you see, unlike the jackass who fought for the Crown back in Manchester and our new idiot world champion, I am worthy these things. And I will prove it by beating anyone in my way.

Soutter : Jackass huh? I’m beginning to see why you really stayed up there and not in the Suite like the real men who come onto this show. What a disappointment. That’s two free shots you’ve had at me, three strikes turkey and you’re OUT!

The Spanish crowd explode and Caffrey looks at them and Soutter with disdain.

Soutter : I have been watching the XHF Rumble lead up, and man o man, them guys sure seem to have a hard on for you. So do ours granted. How does it feel to be the most hunted man in the XHF?

Caffrey : They know. They all know, Paul. That other company had its ears closed to it, and that's why they'll never be as good as you and I. You see jackasses like Johnny Sniper and Rat Bastard talking out their behinds and running around like they own the place; champions like Bloodied Fox, Ryan Young, and Chris Card shaking at the knees when speaking about me; and hell, Timeless's little dress-up routine shows that the whole field knows that Anthony Caffrey is the favorite. From the moment the calendar turned to the Year of Caffrey, people have known that I’m capable of doing big things, that I am more than capable of winning the Rumble. This is not news.

Soutter : Heat is heat. Our guys and the Networks alike want to rip your head off, a mighty fine and same time daunting place to be in. I understand, I have been where you are, for the last 20 years of my life ....

Caffrey : ...excluding the past six months or so...

Soutter : You see kid, when you are where I am. You don’t need to wrestle every week anymore. You try and prepare the fe for life without you, no one can do this forever, not even The Big BadBustling Bandit. But i notice, you seem to want to take digs at me, maybe hoping for a free Suit rub. Maybe hoping some of this magic will attach itself to you. It’s not a competition of who has more hate and when. We’ll, maybe it is, but not with me, I ain’t even in that Rumble thanks to that no good Timeless turd. His days in the KGB are ...

Caffrey : I mean, you’re not in the Rumble because you couldn’t cut it with guys like me.

The arena lets out a huge “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.” Caffrey smirks.

Soutter : Trust me, I have eaten little smary turkeys like you for breakfast. You believe you are something special, but so far, you aren’t coming across as that special to me. Maybe a Soutter Special will help elevate you to halfway where you believe you stand.

Caffrey just stares unimpressed at Soutter, not even bothering to respond to the threat.

Soutter : Ugh, this is like pulling teeth, now there is an idea. So ... Going into the Anzac Cup it isn’t just about you, what if your partner Hayden Callahan can’t cut it and cost’s you the Cup?

Caffrey : Then I kick his ass like I could kick yours.

Soutter : That may just have to be arranged. This is SWAT mate. It don’t matter what the discord fans say. It don’t matter what the network fans say. It don’t matter what anyone says. Only what you DO!

Caffrey : It does matter, Paul. I don’t think you understand who the hell you’re talking to. You are in the presence of a Wrestling Emperor. You’re talking to a superior, not an equal. And if I had two hands and my dance card free, I’d march down to that ring and dump your ass over the ropes as a warm-up.

Soutter : You delusion fool! With FOUR hands you couldn’t carry my bags! You keep it up, you against the world, but frankly, Syberus was right, you haven’t shown us SHIT! You stare at your mirror and the realisation of it dans on you, you just admitted it two minutes ago and you hurt yourself, like a little insolent child. Step up, show us what this hype is all about! Don’t be taking pot shots at ME thinking your dance card is full. I can walk down that ramp and take you out of the rumble right here and right NOW!

The crowd explodes and Caffrey completely ignores them.

Caffrey : When I came here, I presented myself as the Savior of SWAT. I still mean it. I am the uniting force. Everyone will unite in getting behind me and understanding I am the top competitor, I am the reason to watch these shows. Not the Society, not the KGB, no one else.

Paul, did you think you and your little crew were immune, just because we don’t care about these people as much as paychecks and championships? No! Tell Fierce that when your team and mine meet in the final of the Anzac Cup, just tell him you’d rather he start the match. You’ve got a legacy to protect, Paul. You were the one talking about twenty years this, twenty years that. You don’t want to throw it all away because the best wrestler in the XHF just exposed you as a weak old man.

Soutter : Sadly, I don’t think you will make it that far, but the Battleground after it, consider yourself BOOKED! (crowd erupts and Caffrey refuses to sell it stone facing them) Weak old man indeed, weak old man you just automatically presume will be in the finals! Well, there you have it folks, straight from the man himself, Mr Anthony Caffrey. All the best here in SWAT! See you SOON.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Let's head up to the ring for tonights next match a tag team match between two excited teams here.

Andrew Fulton: The tag team scene is heating up around here, we have new champs. Rally Jackson and Tuxedo Mask.

Jeremy Tucker: I am sure Team Fairtex will exercise their rematch clause soon.

Andrew Fulton: You know the KGB will once again wear gold.

Jeremy Tucker: Here lately it appears the KGB are falling apart.

Andrew Fulton: Families fight all the time. They will get it together.

Jeremy Tucker: Let's get up into the ring as Frank Salazar will make the introduction.

Frank Salazar.. This bout is scheduled for ONE fall with a 20 minute time limit, first introducing from Malian, Italy and weighing in at a combine 448 pounds here are Antonio Ross and Stefano Esposito, La Familglia..

The two young men are heading down to the ring as they are getting a huge applause from the capacity crowd.

Andrew Fulton: I’m wondering if they have a hot sister that I could date. You know what they say about those Italians?

Jeremy Tucker: I do not but you are going to tell me anyway.

Andrew Fulton: They are good lovers.

Frank Salazar.. And their opponents first from Portland, Maine and weighs in at 287 pounds here is LUNCHBOX LAAARRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!

Old Town Maine by Lucas Deely blasts over the sound system as he walks down the aisle slapping high fives with the fans as he makes his way to ringside as he climbs the steps and steps between the ropes.

Frank Salazar: And his partner weighing in at 200 pounds from Austin, Texas here is K-JAX!!!!

Kirby by Aesop Rocky begins to blare out as K-JAX makes his way down to the ring and he also is giving high fives to the fans as he gets to ringside and his jumps up on the ring apron and jumps over the ropes. He walks over to Lunchbox Larry.

Jeremy Tucker: I have heard good things about these two, they should give our new champs a run for their money

Andrew Fulton: We shall see if they get pass a good team in La Familglia first

The bell sounds..

Jeremy Tucker: It appears Lunchbox Larry is going to start out against Antonio Ross. The two are about to lock up but Antonio slides in behind Larry, and catches him flush on his jaw. Larry spins around and drives a few knees into the ribs of Antonio. He grabs his right arm and connects with a short arm clothesline. Lunchbox Larry drops an elbow across Antonio’s chest he goes for the quick cover ................

1 .................

2 ...............

Andrew Fulton: Antonio kicks out. Lunchbox Larry pulls him to his feet and connects with a double axehandle. He pulls Antonio to his feet and hip tosses him half way across the ring. He waits as Antonio gets to his feet and races in and catches him with a hard clothesthine.

Jeremy Tucker.: He makes the tag into KJAX. He walks right into the ring and takes him into a near corner and lays in several knife edge chops to Antonio’s chest. He pulls Antonio out of the corner as he whips him into the ropes and catches him with a nice dropkick that places it right on his chin. KJax races over to climb the top ropes and catches Antonio with a moonsault as he goes for the cover.

1 .....................

2 ..................

Andrew Fulton: Antonio kicks out. KJAX pulls Antonio to his feet as he Irish whips him so hard into a far corner he drops like a tonne of bricks in the corner. He races in and catches him with a running cannonball. He pulls Antonio out of the corner as he climbs the top ropes and comes flying off and connects with a senton splash. He goes for the cover.

1 .................

2 ......................

Jeremy Tucker: He kicks out. Kjax makes the tag and back in comes Larry. The two whip Antonio into the ropes as they both hit a double backdrop. Larry pulls Antonio to his feet as he picks him up, as he holds him high up in the air.

Andrew Fulton: It appears like he is up there for five minute and he let's the blood rush to his head, he drops him down to the mat with a high vertical suplex. Antonio rolls over and makes a tag into Stefano.

Jeremy Tucker: Stefano races in, as he tries to connect with a clothesline but instead his caught with a quick Powerslam from Lunchbox Larry. He pulls Stefano to his feet as he takes in KJax but he connects with a running bulldog first. Kjax stays on the ring apron as Stefano gets to his feet he comes flying over the top ropes and connects with a flying clothesline. He goes for the cover.

1 ...................

2 ....................

Andrew Fulton.. Stefano kicks out. KJax races into the ropes after Stefano gets to his feet as he springs off the ropes and connects with a springboard reverse ddt. He jumps high in the air and comes down with a knee right across his chest. He goes for another cover.

1 ...............

2 .....................

Jeremy Tucker: Stefano kicks out. KJax waits for Stefano to get to his feet as he races into the ropes, but Stefano burries a knee right in his midsection. Kjax recovers quickly as he catches him with a pele kick. Stefano happens to fall into the corner and makes a tag to Antonio.

Andrew Fulton: Antonio comes charging into the ring, and does connect with a hard forearm to KJax’s jaw. Antonio connects with a headbutt as KJax staggers back into a near corner. Antonio goes in and connects with a couple of knee strikes. Antonio pulls KJax out of the corner as he hits an atomic drop on him. He goes in behind and tries for a back suplex but KJax flips back and falls right into his corner for the tag.

Jeremy Tucker: Antonio turns around only to get hit with a running clothesline from Larry. Larry waits for Antonio to get to his feet as he plants him right back into the mat with a massive spinebuster. Larry once again pulls Antonio to his feet as he picks him up way over his head and drops him back to the mat with a gorrila press slam.

Andrew Fulton: He makes the tag back into Kjax. He goes in for a piledriver, but Antonio backdrops him with a nice counter. He makes the tag into Stefano. He comes into the ring but quickly gets caught with the Black Mask.

Jeremy Tucker: I think I saw a few teeth go flying.

Andrew Fulton: He races over to make the tag into Lunchbox Larry. Before he does that he connects with a running knee strike knocking Antonio to the floor. Larry picks up a just about knocked out Antonio.

Jeremy Tucker: A connects with the Knuckle sandwich.. That has to be it.

1 ..........................

2 .........................

3!!!!!!

Frank Salazar.. The winners off The match Lunchbox Larry and KJAX.

Andrew Fulton: Impressive win for these two gentleman over a solid team.

Jeremy Tucker: These two are going to be a big threat on the tag team scene around here.

[Venom 🕷]

El Combatiente has arrived! Alongside him is his interpreter/manager Javier. The walk into the arena side-by-side and speak as they walk towards the locker room area.


Javier: I’ve really done it tonight. I’ve got you the match you’ve been waiting for.


El Combatiente: You got me a match with the lovable bear?


Javier: Maybe the other match you’ve been waiting for. A match against someone who arrive around the same time as you, and who like you has been making waves here in SWAT.


El Combatiente: Oh that is what I wanted. What am I up against?


Javier: Hayden Callahan. He is like you, but the opposite.


El Combatiente: How so?


Javier: Well first, he’s white.


El Combatiente: So are most of them.


Javier: But other than that he is just like you, except a bad guy. He came here around the same time, like I said. He has been around for over ten years much like yourself, but hasn’t felt the urge to break the glass ceiling in America. While you spent time in Mexico and training at your local gym since your big debut in the XHF all that time ago he has kept close to his home in the UK expanding throughout Europe at times.


El Combatiente: Interesting. I’m assuming he’s the British Strong Style type?


Javier: Good assumption, but not completely. He’s also an underhanded cunt.


El Combatiente: Whoa now.


Javier: Those are his words, remember he’s British.


El Combatiente: So he’s a cheater?


Javier: Yes. Like I said, the opposite of you.


El Combatiente: I’ve dealt with the underhanded before, I think I can handle that. The glaring differences in style might be something that is hard to overcome, but I believe my speed and agility can overcome.


Javier: I believe it can as well, but that’s not my only surprise for you today Champ.


El Combatiente: Oh really?


Javier: Yes. As you know there is a tag team event coming up and I have scoured all of the Xtreme Hardcore Federation Network to find the perfect person for you to team with.


El Combatiente: Someone who shares my core values?


Javier: Not exactly.


El Combatiente: Someone who matches me in speed and skill?


Javier: Not exactly.


El Combatiente: Well there has to be some similarity.


Javier: There is. You are both former XHF Junior Heavyweight Champions.


El Combatiente: I’m intrigued. Is it Charlie Velez?


Javier: No.


El Combatiente: James Mueller then?


Javier: No.


El Combatiente: Nelly Angel?


Javier: Ye…well no, not exactly.


El Combatiente: Well who is it? You have me hanging on by a thread here. I must know, who will help me impact SWAT in the tag division?


Javier: Here he comes now.


The camera pans out wide to show a masked man who we’ve never seen before in SWAT, but is well known in the XHF circles, walking towards the pair of men. It is none other than the masked man from MCCW and recently the XHF Champion Lord Dominicus.


El Combatiente: I have no clue who that is.

(No tengo idea de quién es.)


Javier: Hello Lord Dominicus.


LD: You can just call me Lord, or Dominicus, or LD I suppose.


Javier: LD it is. This is my client and your new tag team partner El Combatiente


El Combatiente: What are you saying? Tell me who this is.

(¿Qué estas diciendo? Dime quien es.)


Javier turns to his client.


Javier: In time I will explain all. For now let me talk to the gringo.


El Combatiente: Okay.

(Bueno)


LD: What did he say? Tell me who he is.


Javier: You know who he is. He’s your knew tag team partner.


LD: Right, I did know that. I hope he’s as EVIL as I am.


Javier: Totally.


El Combatiente: I hope he’s as pure of heart as I am.

(Espero que sea tan puro de corazón como yo.)


Javier: Of course he is. Nothing less for you.


LD: What did he say?


Javier: Exactly what you said. He’s so excited how absolutely evil this team will be.


LD: YES! This is going to be a devious adventure into the absolute world of villainy.


El Combatiente: Está tan emocionado como yo.

(He's just as excited as I am.)


Javier: Yes he is, and now LD and EC will run through this tag show like a hot knife through butter.


LD: Yes we will. We’ll beat all the buttnuggets in… in… What company are we in again?


El Combatiente: Swat.

(Swat)


LD: He understood that?


Javier: Guess so.


LD: Right. We are going to dominate all of the buttnuggets in our way here in Swat and EVIL shall prevail.


Javier and LD air shake hands because this is still a pandemic and they don’t actually need to tough. El Combatiente smiles and they walk off camera.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Coming up fans, we have a handicap match between the SWAT Amazon Champion Joanne Canelli and "The Hired Killers" Jade and Kim

Andrew Fulton: This a farce, Jerry and you know it. Zoran Sainovic forcing the KGB to fight one another is unprecedented in our business and you know it!

Jeremy Tucker: What about the time Joe Pesci forced The Society of the New Breed to fight one another for Syberus' SWAT International championship?

Andrew Fulton: That? That was hilarious. We were lucky to have a commissioner so committed to rib tickling booking. Crikey, I miss that tiny Italian.

Jeremy Tucker: Zoran Sainovic had enough of The KGB after his battle with Soutter and decided to let them tear each other apart.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah well me mum did the same thing, that's why I don't talk to me brother what's his name or me sister what's her face.

Jeremy Tucker: That's my wife and you live in our basement.

Andrew Fulton: And her cooking makes me place smell to high heaven.

("Street Fight (On the Sunset Strip)" By Guns N' Roses plays and Jade comes to the ring slowly and ominously accompanied by her twin sister Kim. They jump on the ring apron and do a double sunset flip kip up before standing in the center of the ring looking slowly from side to side before slowly and ominously taking off their dark shades and placing them in their trench coats and slowly and ominously. They taking off their trench coats glaring as they slowly go to their corner continuing to glare at the entrance and go over strategy)

Jeremy Tucker: The Hired Killers come into this with heavy hearts. But they have told us that despite their close relationship with the SWAT Amazon Champion they have no plans to go easy on her, or throw the match.

Andrew Fulton: Well they should consider it a bit. What if they scuff up their SWAT Amazon Champion? She's their meal ticket for god sakes.

Jeremy Tucker: I don't think that's happening, Andy.

Frank Salazar: "The following is a Handicap Match! Featuring first, they are from Bangkok, Thailand; They are both 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 150 pounds...JADE & KIM, THE HIRED KILLERS!!!"

(The San Memes Stadium boos then the house lights go down, as a spotlight goes over the crowd. As the spotlight comes to a stop at the back of the entrance way, as "Courtesy Call" by Thousand Foot Krutch begins to play. A picture of the Italian Flag appears on the screen with the letters F.B.I over the flag, with the words "FULL BLOODED ITALIAN" is written underneath. It soon changes to scenes of mob hits, newspaper clippings from just recent to the late 1900's, but soon changes once again, to shots of the Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arena's from times since past. The spotlight focuses on four figures figures standing at the back of the ramp. This is Joanne and her bodyguards)

Jeremy Tucker: The SWAT Amazons Champion walks into this match with a huge disadvantage. Not only is she wrestling two women, but two women who know her better than anyone. The Hired Killers are dangerous to begin with, but they know all of Joanne Canelli's strengths and weaknesses.

Andrew Fulton: I know of no weaknesses.

(They make their way down the ramp with Joanne in the middle with Reno and Rude on either side, and Scarpaci following behind, talking among themselves ignoring the crowd around them. When they reach the ring, Reno holds open the ropes for her, as she slips inside, only to follow behind and stand in the middle of the ring, around her. She removes her jacket, and hands it to one of the guys, before they head out of the ring)

Jeremy Tucker: You can tell by her expression that Joanne Canelli is outraged that SWAT Commissioner Zoran Sainovic is forcing her into this position.

Andrew Fulton: And who wouldn't be. This would be like Zoran Sainovic forcing you to wrestle Frank Salazar and I.

Jeremy Tucker: Why would he do that?

Andrew Fulton: I dunno. Maybe he doesn't like the cut of your jib.

Frank Salazar: "And their opponent, from The Jersey Shore; Standing feet inches; Weighing pounds; She is The SWAT AMAZONS CHAMPION...'THE JERSEY DEVIL DIVA' JOANNE CANELLI!!!"

(The San Memes Stadium rocks with boos. Joanne Canelli holds up the SWAT Amazons Championship belt and then hands it to referee Tommy Milligan. Jade and Kim surround Canelli as Milligan signals for the bell)

Andrew Fulton: And we're off!

Jeremy Tucker: Kim whacks Joanne Canelli with a jiu jitsu chops to her chest.

(The Spanish fans "Woo!" with each chop. Canelli responds with a headbutt, but Jade grabs her arm and takes her over with a deep Mexican armdrag)

Jeremy Tucker: Another Mexican armdrag by Jade. She grabs her with a side headlock takedown.

Andrew Fulton: Jade holds onto that headlock, while Kim is laying in some stiff kicks and stomps.

Jeremy Tucker: "The Jersey Devil Diva" Joanne Canelli grabs a big handful of that regulation military haircut of Jade, and yanks her back by the hair until she releases the headlock.

(Kim hammers Cannelli with hard forearms as she gets to her feet, but she blocks one and answers with a chop to Kim's throat. Jade steps up into a chop from Canelli as well. She keeps chopping both Hired Killers as the Spanish fans shout "Woo!")

Andrew Fulton: The champ trying to take on both Hired Killers!

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli kicks Jade hard in the knee, but Kim comes off the ropes with a roaring elbow!

(Joanne Canelli goes down like a bag of bricks. Kim picks her up and atomic drops her on the top turnbuckle and pulls her down into a tree of woe)

Jeremy Tucker: Jade gets a running start and dropkicks an upside down Canelli in the face, and then Kim comes off the top turnbuckle with a Death Stomp to her head!!

(The San Memes Stadium lets out a collective "OH!" as Canelli crumples down to the mat. Jade grabs the ropes for balance and then lays in a series of stomps and kicks to Canelli in the corner)

Jeremy Tucker: Kim now moves in, punching and kicking Joanne in the corner.

Andrew Fulton: There's no place for this kind of savagery in the KGB!

Jeremy Tucker: Jade pulls her up and irish whips Canelli into the other corner, following her in with a clothesline.

(Kim shoots Canelli into the other corner, and charges in with a stinger splash but Canelli puts up her knee into Kim's stomach)

Jeremy Tucker: Jade comes over to help her twin sister, but Canelli rakes her nails across Jade's eyes, temporarily blinding her!

Andrew Fulton: Joanne Canelli mounts the second rope over Jade in the corner and starts raining punches down on her!

(The Bilbaocrowd counts along "Uno! Dos! Tres! Cuatro! Cinco! Seis! Siete! Ocho! Nueve!" but then Kim comes up from behind and electric chairs Canelli onto her shoulders, dropping back to the mat)

Andrew Fulton: The SWAT Amazon Champion had a momentary advantage there but Kim came to the rescue of her sister.

Jeremy Tucker: Kim goes over to help Jade, but Joanne Canelli rakes her nails down Kim's back!

(Kim screams in pain, and Joanne grabs her by the hair. But before she can hit her, Jade grabs her from behind with an inverted facelock)

Andrew Fulton: Jade takes Joanne up and over with a reverse suplex!

(Joanne kicks her toes into the mat, while clutching her stomach. An enraged Kim gets on top of her and starts pounding her with punches)

Jeremy Tucker: Jade now getting on top of Canelli and strangling her, as Tommy Milligan laying in the count.

Andrew Fulton: Jade breaks at four, and then goes back to choking her. Kim now picks Joanne up into a fireman's carry, then twirls into an airplane spin. She drops her on her head with a death valley driver!!

Jeremy Tucker: The Assassinator!!

Referee: 1...2...(Joanne Canelli kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli pulls herself up by the ropes, but Jade clotheslines her over the ropes!

(Canelli tumbles over the ropes to the floor below. Kim gets a running start and somersaults over the ropes onto Joanne with a senton!! The Spanish fans jeer)

Andrew Fulton: Jade rolls out of the ring and picks Joanne up into a bearhug, and then rams his back into the guardrail!

Jeremy Tucker: Jade picks up the ring bell. She runs at Canelli with it, but Canelli ducks and it nails Kim in the face!!

Andrew Fulton: Joanne Canelli slugging Jade across the face over and over. She slides into the ring and runs into the ropes. She baseball slide dropkicks both Hired Killers into the guardrail!!

(Joanne Canelli goes outside the ring, and irish whips Kim, but Kim reverses it and shoots the champ into the railing! The San Memes Stadium lets out a collective "OH!" as the impact flips Canelli out into the crowd)

Jeremy Tucker: Jade starts hammering Canelli out in the crowd, but Joanne is responding with rights and lefts of her own!

Andrew Fulton: Kim comes from behind with a chair shot to Joanne's back!

(Canelli arches her back in pain and Jade tosses her over the railing into the ringside area. Kim steps over the railing and rams Canelli shoulder first into the ringpost)

Jeremy Tucker: This has gotten totally out of control, but I think this is exactly what Zoran Sainovic wanted

Andrew Fulton: The bloody ghoul.

Jeremy Tucker: Jade now choking Joanne Canelli with the TV cables!

(Canelli kicks her legs out in a vain attempt at escape, while Jade pulls back on the wires across Joanne's throat)

Jeremy Tucker: The Hired Killers now rolling Joanne Canelli back into the ring. Jade goes to smash Canelli's head into the turnbuckles, but Joanne blocks it with her boot.

Andrew Fulton: She smashes Jade's face into the turnbuckle instead! She catches an oncoming Kim with a haymaker that lays her out!

Jeremy Tucker: "The Jersey Devil Diva" Joanne Canelli kicks Jade in the stomach, then runs into the ropes with a mafia kick to the side of Jade's head! The Mob Hit!

Andrew Fulton: Joanne Canelli applies a cobra clutch to Kim that she calls The Italian Necktie!

(Canelli pulls back on Kim's wrist while pressing down on the back of her neck. Kim's legs start to buckle as Tommy Milligan checks in to see if she taps)

Jeremy Tucker: Jade hits Canelli in the back with multiple double ax handles to break up the Italian Necktie.

Andrew Fulton: Kim does a go behind and applies a half nelson, dropping Canelli on her head with a t-bone suplex!

(Jade pulls Canelli up by the hair, but Joanne pokes her in the eye. Canelli ducks a reverse knife edge chop, and grabs her in a german suplex)
Referee: 1...2...(Kim stomps Canelli in the stomach)

Jeremy Tucker: Kim pulls Canelli up onto her shoulder and powerbombs her onto the turnbuckles! She hangs on and swings her into a powerbomb out of the corner!! K Bomb!

Referee: 1...2...(Joanne Canelli kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Kim irish whips Canelli into Jade who tiltawhirls her into a backbreaker!

Andrew Fulton: Round here they call that a quebradora con hilo!

Jeremy Tucker: Jade irish whips Canelli into the ropes and Kim hits her with a Muy Thai style jumping shining wizard scissors kick! The Final Warning!

(The crowd boos as Joanne Canelli is laid out. Jade pulls up a woozy Joanne Canelli and shoots her into the ropes, catching her with a blackhole slam)

Andrew Fulton: Phire Slam!

Referee: 1...2...(Joanne Canelli kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Reno Renard is now up on the apron, and Tommy Milligan walks over to tell him to get down.

Andrew Fulton: Her brother Scarpaci Canelli just tossed Joanne Canelli those brass knuckles!

Jeremy Tucker: Oh, now you see it.

Andrew Fulton: Me monitor got fixed,

Jeremy Tucker: Unbeknownst to Kim, she pulls Joanne Canelli up by the hair, but The Jersey Devil Diva blasts her with those brass knuckles!!

(The San Memes Stadium rocks with boos! Jade turns around and gets clocked in the temple with the brass knuckles while Reno Renard continues to distract Tommy Milligan)

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli hits the ropes and gives a 5 Brass Knuckle Shuffle to Jade right between the eyes!! Dirt Off Your Shoulders!

(Joanne Canelli tosses the brass knuckles out of the ring and BJ Thompson catches them and puts them away in the inside pocket of his jacket)

Andrew Fulton: Canelli drapes her leg over the back of Jade's head and twists her into a playmaker!! Roll The Dice!

(Joanne Canelli wraps up Jade's legs, and then applies a surfboard. Tommy Milligan goes to check if Jade submits, but Canelli takes her foot and puts it on the back of Jade's head, stomping her face into the mat)

Andrew Fulton: Bite The Curb!

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli lifts Jade up on her shoulders in a fireman's carry and then drops her face onto her knee with a go 2 sleep!! Bull's Eye!

(Joanne calls for a chair and Reno Renard tosses her one. Tommy Milligan threatens to disqualify her if she uses it on Jade)

Andrew Fulton: What's this then?

Jeremy Tucker: I think Joanne Canelli is looking to give The Hired Killers a receipt for that earlier chair shot.

Andrew Fulton: Kim spin kicks that chair into Canelli's face!! Death Strike!

Referee: 1...2...3!!!

Andrew Fulton: What?! Where did she come from??

Jeremy Tucker: Kim has pinned the SWAT Amazons Champion!

Frank Salazar: "The Winner of the Match...THE HIRED KILLERS!!!"

(The Spanish fans boo as "Street Fight (Rumble On Sunset Strip)" by Guns N' Roses plays. Tommy Milligan goes walks in with the SWAT Amazon Championship, but Kim snatches it out of her hands)

Andrew Fulton: What does she think she's doing? This wasn't a title match!

Jeremy Tucker: I didn't think it was either, but Kim has taken the SWAT Amazon Championship and is walking to the back with Jade!

Andrew Fulton: No, no, no. That was two against one, and the bloody belt wasn't on the line!

Jeremy Tucker: Jade seems a little confused by it as well, but Kim holding that belt high in the air.

Andrew Fulton: You see? This is all Zoran Sainovic's fault, trying to sow discord amongst the KGB.

(A woozy Joanne Canelli sits up, looking around for her title belt. Scarpaci Canelli explains what happened while Reno Renard and BJ Thompson argue with Tommy Milligan for letting it happen)

Jeremy Tucker: It may have worked!

[edwarddubin0604]

(The Hired Killers head towards the lockerroom of Joanne Cannelli Jade is glaring at her sister Kim for what just happened.)

Jade: "Look Kim you better have a good explanation for stealing Joanne's title."

Kim: "I do have a good explanation for what happened and I will return the belt to her."

Jade: "You better hope she's in a good mood after what you've done."

(They round the corner and see Reno standing at the door.)

Jade: "Let's go and you better hope that Joanne's calmed down."

(They go up to Reno who takes his gun out.)

Jade: "We're not going to cause trouble Reno. Kim wants to return the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship back to Joanne and she wants to explain what happened."

Kim: "Can I at least talk to her nd apologize for what happened. Whatever she has for punishment I'll accept the full punishment."

(Reno puts the gun away and he enters the lockerroom and a brief conversation is heard before Reno opens the door and motions them in but he remains outside refusing to let the cameraman inside.)

Jade: "Joanne I don't know what went down but I didn't like what happened either. Still we came to see you and Kim wants to apologize and she wants to return your championship to you and accept any punishment you dish out."

(There's a sound of someone furious and something being thrown.)

Jade: "Explain to what happened and don't leave anything out either."

Kim: "Il Don Joanne Cannelli I received a note from one of the stagehands and was told to goto the Commissioner's office. He told me the match was changed to a three way for the SWAT Amazons Women's Championship."

(The snarling answer to what Kim said is undiscernible but the words are of anger.)

Jade: "Joanne I didn't know at the last minute and Kim only learned this from Zoran at the last minute."

Kim: "Joanne I wanted to warn you but the match was going to begin in moments and Zoran said I wasn't to tip you off about what he told me."

(The sounds of objects being thrown along with screams of obscenities are hurled at The Hired Killers.)

Jade: "She's telling the truth Joanne. Kim doesn't want to keep the belt."

Kim: "Joanne Zoran made an asshole out of me and I regret what I do and I mean it. We should have told you when we were in the ring wrestling but he said the referee was told to make sure you didn't get word of it during the match. Anyway, I apologize again and I sincerely regret not trying to get word to you about this before the match."

(Angry snarls and more obscenities are heard.)

Kim: "Here's your championship back and now you can mete out any punishment you wish on me. It's the least I can do make up for what had happened just now Great Don Joanne Cannelli."

(The words are barely audible but sound ominous as the sounds of kicks and punches are heard as well as crashing objects and lockers being smashed into. close to over five minutes later screams are heard and the door opens and Reno allows a bloodied Kim leave barely on her own two feet and Jade following. The door closes and Reno resumes guarding the door as the scene slowly fades to black.)

[eddied]

(Andrew Fulton is in the backstage impatiently waiting for Eddie D for an interview. Andrew is about to call off the segment when Eddie bursts through a plasterboard wall on a motorbike and comes to a screeching halt just short of Andrew Fulton. Eddie switches off the engine and laughs as he beats the worst of the plaster out of his beard and clothes.)



Andrew Fulton: What in the hell are you doing?!

EDDIE: Hey Andy, Got here as quick as I could... I thought they drove on the left in Europe so I was lucky to get here alive in sunny Spain tonight.
I'm still getting used to the power of this new bike and it kinda got away from me. Who the fuck put that wall there?

Andrew Fulton: Are you injured?

EDDIE: Nope, don't think so. Any damage you see on my face is probably courtesy of Psychotic Goth last time out. I have a lot of respect for that guy. He really brought it that night. And if it hadn't been for the swerve of the decade happening later in the show, it would probably have been considered a show stealing encounter from us. 

Andrew Fulton: Well maybe; if you like gore and blood in your fights it was OK. With the way the world is right now, spreading bodily fluid around like that probably isn't that clever.

EDDIE: Occupational hazard Andy. Not like I asked him to bash my head off of every available foreign object. Just glad I never got to see the contents of his sack. 

Andrew Fulton: Pardon me?

EDDIE: He had a blood soaked sack he was waving around when promoting the match?

Andrew Fulton: Oh yes, thank God, I remember now. Talking of bags and bodily fluids, have you complained about the hazing going on in the locker room? Are the reports of people taking a dump in gym bags true?

EDDIE: I heard some stuff in some promos about me being unpopular and that type of prank happening to me, but it's all fake news. I think they took a shit in someone else's bag. Which is funny in itself. Not only are they disgusting for doing that, but they're incompetent too.
Thing is... I am an outsider. I am a Good Guy, but no one in the locker room or the Crew wants me around, because I am a threat from another Fed. I have been in league with Trent Jones, ready to make things happen in Manchester, since our bloody backstage fight several days before. I knew we were painting a target on our backs by doing what we did; by being a kingmaker you upset everyone. The status quo guys and the rebellious guys waiting for their shot all hate us right now. If I cared about what people think of me, or whether 'the boys' accept me, well i wouldn't have sided with Trent Jones would I?

Andrew Fulton: Some people are saying that your sudden change of heart, from blood feud to tag partner and biker buddy, smacks of cowardice. Looks like a giving up when you couldn't beat Trent Jones.

EDDIE: Easy Andy... I think you know that those are fighting words and I don't think you came here to party. Watch your tone and listen close. Trent Jones said it best in Manchester. Our feud was not getting us the respect we wanted. The place on the card we wanted. Sure we could have settled the bad blood in a cage. Maybe we could have gone for a street fight, no rules, no count outs.
It might have made good TV, but ultimately would that match have been given the top billing that feud ending match deserves?
Not from the way things looked to us at the time it wouldn't have.
Would it have meant one of us or both of us ended up in an ER?
Yes, probably.
I ain't scared of getting my hands dirty or bloody, I proved that with Goth, but mutually assured destruction is no solution. So rather than committing us to a destructive path to another Nagasaki to end the thing, we chose to take our own path. Sometimes coming to terms is braver than brainlessly butting heads for no true reward.

Andrew Fulton: I know your history in the EIWF and you're no stranger to swerves and cheating. Here in SWAT you've said you're all about being seen as the best. Well cheating won't get you the respect you crave in the long run. You sure have thrown the cat among the pigeons though.

EDDIE: Is there a question in there somewhere Andy or are you trying to be my dad? I don't see it as the cat being thrown among the pigeons; I see it as the fox getting into the hen house. We showed the cunning and guile to win and eat our fill of the best prize in the house. The SWAT Heavyweight Title.
Look, you can hate us for what you see as cheating, but bottom line Trent Jones didn't dropkick the referee in the face.
Trent Jones didn't invite me into the ring and take the risks that that entails, Valentine did that.
Trent Jones slapped Valentine into the Lights out Mother Fucker and he was crowned champion. TKO. Belt won.
And you talk about respect? Would Trent and me be in the main event tonight if we hadn't done what we did?
I don't think so, so I have no regrets. #maineventEddie FTW brother.
When I have a tag belt over my shoulder I will have respect again. Every day that Trent holds that SWAT Heavyweight Title I can take personal pride that I contributed to his success. Maybe he would have got to the top without me, but maybe the way we caused a stir AND took the title is the best way to be taken seriously.

Andrew Fulton: So you've given up on singles titles to concentrate on the tag titles?

EDDIE: Nope. Tonight we do share the ring with the tag team champions and we want to make them fear us as the best big guy tag team since likes of the The Brothers of Destruction and The Powers of Pain. We have a neat finisher we'd love to introduce you to, but maybe we'll save that for when the belts are on the line. We also share the ring with the ego that is Mr Caffrey. We'll be pleasantly surprised if he knows what a tag rope is and how not to get double teamed. Anything above and beyond that will be a delightful bonus. 
Syberus and Valentine are clearly in shock that we had the nerve and the testicular fortitude to pull off the stunt that we did. Syberus clearly thinks we made a mistake, that just like rock beats scissors, that the stable will beat the tag team, just by weight of New Breed numbers and their rich history of previous shenanigans. Only he doesn't realize that we're not just watching each others backs and ready to defend ourselves. We're not finished with our trail of anarchy yet. There's a gold rush folks and we have laid down our claim. We want it all. And we want it now. That includes tag belts and The International Title. 

Andrew Fulton: Well there's a whole roster and I'd say a majority of fans around the world that would like to see you fall short. 

EDDIE: Well I say to you as i say to them all...
The gym bag crapper,
The food token thief,
Syberus, 110% fucking Syberus,
Jonnie "The Tragic Crybaby" Valentine,
Rally Jackson and Tuxedo Mask,
every other bum being carried in a stable 'cause they can't man up and go it alone,
the fans that haven't liked, subscribed and shared my latest promos...
BRING... IT... ON!!!

(Eddie goes to drive away in a triumphant gesture and stalls the bike. Eddie swears and slowly goes through the start sequence again as Andrew Fulton smirks at Eddie's embarrassment. Eddie finally starts the bike and tears out of shot anticlimactically. The scene ends.)

[SWAT Team]

The footage cuts to what seems to be a satellite feed. The camera picks up the Stratosphere Tower in the background and it seems that whoever set this up is in Las Vegas.

Jeremy Tucker: This isn’t familiar territory.

Andrew Fulton: We’ve been hacked!

Jeremy Tucker: Come on! Be realistic!

A solid mahogany bookcase reaches from the floor to the ceiling and is stocked up with a mixture of dust-covered books and DVDs. A red Chesterfield sits adjacent to it, a copy of Vanity Fair sits opened on the coffee table in front of it. As the camera pans around once more we see framed wrestling magazine covers on the wall:

‘CROSS SHOCKS COSMO COOPER IN ANGOLA!’

‘REKOTA TOPPLE THE ZOMBIE CLAN TO CLAIM GOLD’

‘THE BOX OFFICE SMASH SIGNS TO THE XHF NETWORK!’

Andrew Fulton: Still don’t think we’ve been hacked?

Jeremy Tucker: Well...there he is. There’s your answer.

Finally, as the camera works its way to the other end of the room we see Cross Recoba. He leans back against the African Blackwood desk that sits behind him. His smile belies someone who knows exactly what he is doing as the feed continues on the SWAT show. He motions as if to brush the dust off the shoulder of his Harris Tweed jacket.

Andrew Fulton : Is he a mute?

Jeremy Tucker: You know that our Commissioner is going to be on stereo phone calls to the production truck and the XHF Network!

AndrewmFulton: Stereo-bollockings!

Adding a beat where one wasn’t necessary, he winks to the camera before waving an open hand to the camera’s right.

Jeremy Tucker: Puh-lease. Is this necessary?

Following the invitation, the shot picks up a display of titles, including the HCW Diamond Title he hasn’t been shy of reminding people, entitles him to an X Crown Title shot.

Andrew Fulton: Of course, can’t go a minute without showing that piece of scrap!

Above the shelf sits a glass cabinet that lies empty. Zooming in, the viewer gets a good view of the brass plate attached.

XHF X CROWN TITLE - 26TH APRIL 2020

Jeremy Tucker: He wishes! He’s picked this show knowing that Zoran isn’t at the arena!

Andrew Fulton: Way to put a target on your back for the Rumble, Slugger!

The camera zooms out and slowly captures Cross in frame once more. He lifts his hands, palms up, to his sides as the feed cracks to static and fades.

[Jonnie Valentine]

(The picturesque island of Ibiza, Spain. The rich and pampered dance on the beaches to the DJ on stage. SWAT International Champion 110% Syberus wades through the scantily clad women and the bare chested men, dancing to tracks from Flosstradamus, TNGHT, and Knife Party)


110% Syberus: Pardon me, excuse me. Coming through. Miss? You dropped your sunglasses. 


(Syberus sighs as there is still an ocean of humanity between him and the DJ booth. Undaunted, he continues to politely navigate through the rich, famous, and heavily drugged. Finally he makes it to the front, where "The Cat's Pajamas" Jonnie Valentine is guest DJing with the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship wrapped around his waist)


110% Syberus: Rally told me I would find you here. 


"The Cat's Pajamas" Jonnie Valentine: (takes down one side of his headphones) Rally? He's supposed to be keeping the masses from jumping on stage. 


110% Syberus: I ran in to him at the hotel, he was shaving one of Colin Trentwood's eyebrows after slipping a soma in his virgin daiquiri. 


Jonnie Valentine: Colin Trentwood doesn't drink?


110% Syberus: I'm sure it had alcohol, I just meant the guy drinking it. 


Jonnie Valentine: Got ya. Hold on. (puts headphones back on)


(Jonnie turns a knob on the mixer to transition to the drop, and the whole beach starts jumping)

 


110% Syberus: Nice.  


Jonnie Valentine: I love that part.  


110% Syberus: It's the straw that stirs the drink. (points to a gorgeous girl in the front) Isn't that the girl from that one show?


Jonnie Valentine: They're all girls from a show. Except her, her Dad owns an airline. And that one's Dad is an Ayatollah.  


110% Syberus: (waves to her) What's with the title belt? 


Jonnie Valentine: Oh this? It's a replica, Ronnie sells them on my website. I had it in the promotional materials so the promoter said I had to have it on. 


110% Syberus: Looks like it's giving you a rash.  


Jonnie Valentine: Turns out I'm allergic to faux leather.  


110% Syberus: Oh bother. How are you holding up?  


Jonnie Valentine: Hold that thought. (takes microphone and addresses the crowd) "Let me hear you make some noise!" 


Crowd: Woo! 


Jonnie Valentine: "Now, now Ibiza. I know you can do better than that. I said, let me hear you make some noise!!"  


Crowd: WOOO!!!! 


Jonnie Valentine: "That's more like it! Now one! Two! One, two, three, four!"

 

(Jonnie Valentine cranks both knobs until the bass is blowing people's arm hairs back. Water bottles going flying in the air, as women in bikinis sitting on men's shoulders to see better preen for the crowd)  


110% Syberus: How much molly have you taken?  


Jonnie Valentine: Is it that obvious?  


110% Syberus: Other than your a grown man sucking on a pacifier, not at all.  


Jonnie Valentine: I lost count at four. I was supposed to space them out every couple hours, but my watch is on Greece time but my phone is on Spain time. What time do you have?  


110% Syberus: Quarter past five.  


Jonnie Valentine: Gadzooks, I'm late! Greg??  


(Greg heelies through the crowd until he's stopped by three security guys in the front of the stage) 


Security: Get back, bitch!! 


(Security mauls Greg as if he's trying to murder Jonnie) 


Jonnie Valentine: Guys! Guys!!  


Security: Sir, we have neutralized the assassin! 


Jonnie Valentine: He's OK! He's cool. 


(The security guards release him, and with a head bob, Greg is allowed on stage with Jonnie and 110% Syberus)  


Greg The Assistant: Sorry it took me so long to procure these, sir, but the girl from Modern Family says they're the best.  


Jonnie Valentine: Gimme! 


(Jonnie pops the molly and washes it down with some water) 


Jonnie Valentine: Ah, that's better. Now what were we talking about?  


110% Syberus: I was wondering how you were handling all this, but it appears you're fine.  


Jonnie Valentine:  Don't let the dilated pupils fool you, I'm sick about this. 


110% Syberus: (agreeing) That Eddie D and Trent Jones stole the World Championship. 


Jonnie Valentine:  No, that I missed all Eddie D's cries for help.


110% Syberus: Beg your pardon? 


Jonnie Valentine: Oh yeah.We dropped the ball there. Poor Eddie has been lost, a rudderless ship, begging to be included. He'd become so uninteresting that he thought his only salvation was a gimmick change so he could finally be back in a stable where he didn't have to do anymore thinking. He was begging to be in The Society of the New Breed and we callously ignored him to the point where he had to change his gimmick to being a wrestling biker. And not even just a wrestling biker, but the other wrestling biker. He's the Greg Valentine to Trent Jones' Honkytonk Man. 


110% Syberus: I know you've taken too much when you bring up your brother.  


Jonnie Valentine: Any other gimmick and I would still have my title. He could have been a wrestling mechanic. "Handy" Eddie D. He could have been a wrestling bartender. "Mr. Quick With A Joke Or A Light Of Your Smoke" Eddie D.  


110% Syberus: I can see it. He takes beers from the vendor and starts handing them out, while wiping up an invisible bar.  


Jonnie Valentine: But he picked being the other wrestling biker, which necessitated him saving Trent Jones career by handing him my World Championship. And who's fault is that?


110% Syberus: That Greek referee that filled in for the SWAT guy that was on the no-fly list?


Jonnie Valentine: No, ours. We should have extended a membership to The Society and accept new members, not just ones that draw money. That's the old way of thinking and look what it cost us. But I rectified that earlier today, and let's just say Trent Jones had better be sleeping with one of his pink-eyed eyes open,  


110% Syberus: (yelling over the music) What?! No. No, no, no. No new Society members! We tried that with Suzie and that got us nowhere.  


Jonnie Valentine: I'm telling you, it's a done deal. We didn't hear Eddie's pleas for friends but I'm telling Eddie now, I hear you and I see you, and I accept you. 


110% Syberus: The bloke that threw me out of the SWAT Rumble?!  


Jonnie Valentine: That's not important now. What is important now is that Trent Jones has a snake in his garden. 


110% Syberus: You don't seem very upset with Trent Jones though? 


Jonnie Valentine: Trent? Why would I have any problem with Trent? If you toss the rest of your sandwich out in front of a hobo he's gonna brush off the dog shit and eat it. If you put peanut butter on your balls, do you blame the dog for licking it? Eddie D hit me with the baseball bat because he had no chance against me physically or let's be honest, mentally. What was Trent supposed to do? Kiss my forehead and wake me up? Trent is an accidental champion, a regrettable headliner, and the weakest link in the Graveyard Ryderz. I have no more ill will against him than the Make A Wish I let pin me at the local hospital. Although that kid did better promos and had better luck with women. Oh, shit. Hold on. 


(Jonnie flips to a new Zomboy track to get the people moving)
 

  

110% Syberus: What about Anthony Caffrey? Is he joining too? 


Jonnie Valentine: Oh god no. That guy creeps me out. I used to see him at shows buying 8x10s and taking pictures with the boys. He would tell us his Mom was paying for wrestling school and that one day he would work with us, but she would always remind him he had to be nice to their stepdad and take his bassoon lessons seriously.  


110% Syberus: That's Carol's boy? 


Jonnie Valentine: Can you believe it? 


110% Syberus: How is she?


Jonnie Valentine: Good, good. She does Facebook Lives about making bad spaghetti. 


110% Syberus: Good god, where does the time go? Well, I guess The Society is about to get bigger. 


Jonnie Valentine: It's for the best. Maybe Rally will leave us alone and focus on someone else?


110% Syberus: God I hope so. Maybe I can make it to a town without holes cut into all my clothes? What's wrong with him? 


Jonnie Valentine: I have no idea, and he likes us. I just try and keep him on my good side. 


(110% Syberus nods as Jonnie goes back to the mixing board, transitioning to Keys and Krates)

 

[frostbite]

Back in the locker room...

THAT SON OF A BITCH.......

I AM GOING TO KILL HIM....

Someone is shouting as this is hears thought out the backstage area.

DO NOT HOLD ME BACK...

Suddenly a locker room door is thrown back so hard that it comes off its hinges with so much force. Lucifer has rage in his red eyes.

Lucifer.. Forget the damn match. I want his ass right now.

Doomsday is trying his best to calm the big man down.

Doomsday.. Take it easy just wait until we get into the ring, remember it is a handicap match. We have him right where we want him.

Lucifer.. And you do not believe Bruno will not protect him.

Doomaday.. The two of us could break Bruno in half.

Lucifer does not want to hear any of this as he is walking around backstage trying to find Frostbite's locker room. With a seven foot monster on the lose stalking mad around the backstage area the hands are getting out of his way.

Andrew Fulton.. Somebody get a message to Frostbite.

Jeremy Tucker.. Your boy had this coming to him. He turned his back on his best friend to join up with the KGB.

Andrew Fulton.. And I believe he gave them an offer to join him and those two idiots turn down.

Jeremy Tucker.. Maybe I need word to somebody backstage that you are calling these two idiots. I would not want Lucifer looking for me right now.

Andrew Fulton.. Come on man, it was all in good fun.

Lucifer is still trying to find Frostbite locker room with Doomsday right behind him.

Doomsday.. Calm down. We will handle this later, I promise you.

Lucifer.. Again so the KGB can bail his ass out. I do not think so.

Doomsday.. Dude, this could be an ambush. We playing right into his trap.

Lucifer continues to walk around as more backstage hands are moving out of his way.

Andrew Fulton.. Anybody gotten word to Frostbite back there yet.

After making a few more turns as if he were in some type of maze. He spots a white door that had the name plate..

Frostbite..

Lucifer kicks the door open as he knocks that door off its hinges. He spots Frostbite sitting on a green bench. Frostbite spots him as he jumps to his feet, but Lucifer spears Frostbite to the floor as he begins to lay in right and lefts to his head, as Frostbite is trying to cover up.

Jeremy Tucker.. Well it appears he did not get the message in time and Lucifer is not waiting around for action later on.

Lucifer continues to land in those big rights and lefts to his head, until Bruno kicks Lucifer right to the side of his head. Bruno begins to throw in a few shots until Doomsday comes charging into the locker room and tackles Brono to the floor as he begins to throw some rights and lefts at Bruno skull.

Andrew Fulton., Where is security? These two need to be arrested.

Frostbite catches Doomsday with a knee right in the side of his head, as Bruno jumps to his feet and begins to put the boots to Doomsday. Frostbite turns around but as he does he gets caught by a big boot from Lucifer.

Jeremy Tucker.. I think we might as well start the match now.

Lucifer pulls Frostbite to his feet ad he grabs him by his throat.

Lucifer.. You want to talk about my mother. Well I am going to end you right here and now.

Bruno charges in and catches Lucifer with a hard clothesline but only knocks him up against a few lockers. Lucifer charged at Bruno and catches him with a superman lunch that sends Bruno a few feet across the room.

Andrew Fulton.. Where is security?

As Lucifer turns around, Frostbite kicks him right in his left knee as he drops to the floor. He grabs Lucifer neck as he is about to what appears a ddt on the floor, but Doomsday, grabs him by his throat.

Doomsday.. You could not leave well enough alone. I try to save you from this but it is too late.

Doomsday host him high in the air, but Bruno from out of nowhere catches D oomaday with a steel chair right in his back as he drops to the floor.

Andrew Fulton.. Way to go Bruno.

Bruno turns around as Lucifer catches him with a big boot, as the chair goes right into his face. Lucifer grabs the steel chair, but Frostbite clips Lucifer in his left knee as he goes down as he drops the chair to the floor. Frostbite grabs the chair, as he is about to hit Lucifer with it, but Doomsday snatches the chair from Frostbite and drives it right into his back.

Jeremy Tucker..This is a war. It is hard to believe these three were best of friends at one point.

Doomsday raises the chair over a fallen Frostbite, but Bruno catches him with a trash can in the back of his head. Bruno smashes the trash can across his chest. Lucifer gets to his feet, as he spears Bruno to the floor. Lucifer looks around as he grabs that trash can, as he raises it over his head but Frostbite has a bottle of powder in his hands.

Frostbite.. Hey stupid.

Lucifer turns around as he tosses powder right in Lucifer 's eyes, Frostbite spots the chair as he picks it up and drives it right into Lucifer's left knee as the big man is in pain. Lucifer is on the floor.

Jeremy Tucker.. It appears Frostbite is targeting his left knee.

Andrew Fulton.. I told you Frostbite has a plan.

Frostbite raises the chair with his eyes on the left knee, until Doomsday with a picture frame and drives it right into the back of Frostbite skull as he goes flying to the floor. Bruno gets to his feet as he drives a hard forearm to the back of Doomsday skull. Bruno staggers but the two are going at it.

Andrew Fulton.. Where is security? Is everybody eating doughnuts?

Jeremy Tucker.. I did here there were some chocolate ones back there.

Lucifer and Frostbite get to their feet.

Frostbite.. You talked about my parents you son of a bitch. And you big pussy, is worries your whore of a mother.

The two are going at it tooth and nail. Suddenly security comes flying into the locker room, as they are trying to pull the four men apart.

Andrew Fulton. It is about time they must have finally finished off the doughnuts.

Jeremy Tucker.. It appears about twenty security officers are back there.

Lucifer breaks free of the four men that were trying to hold him back as he goes right after Frostbite as he lays in more shots to his head. Frostbite kicks Lucifer right back in the left knee. Lucifer picks up Frostbite by his throat as he tosses him up against some lockers as they go to the ground along with Frostbite.

Andrew Fulton.. Come on get more security back there.

Bruno breaks free as he starts to go at it with Doomsday. As security is trying their best to get this under control.

Crowd.. LET THEM FIGHT......

Jeremy Tucker.. Remember Frostbite has to fight these two later on and Bruno will not be partner.

Andrew Fulton.. I can not believe abuse of power by our commish.

Security still trying to keep them apart.

Lucifer.. Frostbite you are going to get yours later on bitch.

Frostbite... We shall see you dumb ass.

Doomsday.. Your time is up later on.

Security pull Doomsday and Lucifer out of the locker room.

Jeremy Tucker,. I will certainly look forward to this match.

[SWAT Team]

[White Trash Renegade comes on as Trent Jones steps out dressed in black leather and his Ryders Vest on. Trent has the title on his shoulder and he walks out to the announcer table.]

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like the Champ wants to come take over our jobs again this week.

Andrew Fulton: Well he is way better than you at this.

Trent Jones: Welcome gents don't worry I am just here to help out in this match. I will never use a homeless man to help again. But guys guess what I am champion just like I promised I would be.

Andrew Fulton: I just want to congratulate you on being the top guy this moment.

Trent Jones: This moment. Who here is good enough to beat me?

Andrew Fulton: Well one person is about to come to the ring right now…

Trent Jones: Tuxedo mask is better than Jonnie hands down… Jonnie was the biggest trash I have ever faced.

Jeremy Tucker: Jonnie has a long history…

Trent Jones: Shut your mouth idiot.

Andrew Fulton: I was speaking of Psychotic Goth. Trent when you going to face him?

Trent Jones: Why would I face that loser, Eddie D just destroyed him. He has to go to the back of the line with Jonnie.

Evil green mist bellows out of the ring entrance as a woman screams and Psychotic Goth laughing maniacally as "Welcome To Your Death" by Annihilator plays and Vampira leads Psychotic Goth to ringside in chains while holding Psychotic Goth's homemade weapon. He ignores the ringsiders and stops at the ring for Vampira to unlock the chains and Psychotic Goth rubs his wrists hard as he climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring and stands in his corner. He slowly takes off his trenchcoat and jewelry before he lowers his head and raises his arms before throwing his head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks looking and snarling like a demonic maniac crazed and intimidating as he is given his homemade weapon and he caresses it before placing it in his corner for Vampira to hold until it's time for Psychotic Goth to use it.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from The Depths of Hell. Coming in at 6’5 and 235 pounds ....accompanied by Vampira .....The King of Goths .... PSYCHOTIC GOTH!!!

Trent Jones: Trash…. Trash… Trash… Its Eddies warm up match from last week's victim
.
Jeremy Tucker: Trent, you might be champion but your attitude just keeps making that target bigger. These guys are talented and they deserve your respect. Otherwise someone is going to go get you.

Andrew Fulton: Well I don’t think Trent respects anyone… Not even Eddie D.

Trent Jones: That's bullshit, but let's get Tuxedo Mask out here because I need to take one hell of a dump.

Tux stands at each side of the top of the ramp for a moment to soak up and encourage the crowd’s cheers. Then, in an ode to his gymnastic ability, he does a cartwheel handspring into a flip down the ramp to start his entrance. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and climbs the turnbuckle for one last bit of adoration before preparing for the match..

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Tokushima, Japan. Coming in at 5’8 and 185 pounds ....representing the Society of the New Breed .... TUXEDO MASK!!!

Andrew Fulton : These two men are ready to fight in this no holds barred Grudge match.

Trent Jones: Its like two homeless people fighting over a mystery can but inside its just spam… fighting for what nothing.

Jeremy Tucker: These two men are locked up and both men are working to show their strength. Goth quickly takes advantage and tosses Tuxedo Mask into the ropes. The smaller man bounces off the ropes and tries to fly into Goth. Goth is taken to the ground as the fans cheer. Tuxedo mask is quickly moving Goth to the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Is he going to try a 619 this early?

Jeremy Tucker: No…. I thought maybe but nope. He just dropped a leg to the back of Goth.

Trent Jones: Yawn!

Andrew Fulton: What now?

[Tuxedo goes to drop another leg but Goth rolls out of the way and is quickly to his feet. He kicks Tuxedo in the face. Goth goes on the attack and kicks Tuxedo Mask outside of the ring]

Andrew Fulton: So Trent, are you now impressed with Goth?

Trent Jones: He kicked out of the ring a 100 pound bag of trash I could do that with my left testicle... not impressed.

Jeremy Tucker: These two men outside of the ring are giving it their all show some respect. Trent and Andrew you both need to grow up.

[Tuxedo Mask is thrown into the steel steps and loud thud. Goth charges and goes for a running shoulder tackle. Tuxedo Mask rolls out of the way just in time as Goth slams into the steps. Both men are laying down. Trent Jones lays his head down and acts like he is sleeping. Both guys are back up Goth delivers a huge uppercut and then he grabs him and bearhugs him and slams him into the apron over and over.]

Trent Jones: Oh wait what happened I fell asleep for a second but that was a decent bearhug.

Andrew Fulton: So now you're impressed? Do you think he may be in line for a shot at your belt?

Trent Jones: No… He is not worthy to face me.

Jeremy Tucker: Again show respect to these men guys, they are legends.

Trent Jones: Legend has is that Jeremy Tucker cries like a bitch every night when he goes to bed.

[Psychotic Goth stands Tuxedo Mask back up and bearhugs him once more and slams him into the security railing once more. Tuxedo mask screams out in pain. Goth goes right back on the attack but when he goes to hug Tuxedo Mask grabs him and drops Goth with a ddt to the ground]

Trent Jones: Get him… Tuxedo mount this chump and punch his face in.

Andrew Fulton: Looks like Tuxedo is coming back now, still think you can beat him?

[Goth is lying face up and Tuxedo Mask is looking down at him. Tuxedo Mask lays Goth down on the metal steps. Tuxedo steps back and runs and lands a Bronco buster on the steps. The fans are cheering.]

Trent Jones: Its so hard to cheer for Tuxedo Mask because I am one of those people who turn off superhero movies before they end because I can't stand watching the good guy win.

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo Mask is talented.

Andrew Fulton: So you admit you only hate Goth because you are scared of him?

Trent Jones: I am not scared… I am not scared.

Andrew Fulton: Then face him.

Trent Jones: Fine I will face him and when the match is over I will…. Shit… I will still be champion because I am not putting the belt on the line against that trash.

[Tuxedo rolls off of the steps and looks at Psychotic Goth and he drags him back in the ring. Tuxedo Mask slides back in the ring as well. He quickly attacks Goth with some quick kicks. Tuxedo goes to stand him up. Goth delivers a low blow, then another and then a third. ]

Trent Jones: I haven’t seen this much guy on guy dick play since Jonnie Court or Valentine Cub Scouts… I heard 110% was promoted to a We-blow this past week. Like who has a cabin with a bunch of dudes at it?

Jeremy Tucker: Didn’t you have a clubhouse for your biker club?

Andrew Fulton: And guys with Leather assless chaps.

Trent Jones: Its not a club.. Its a gang and its different.

[Psychotic Goth quickly grabs Tuxedo and spins him so his back is to him. Goth clips the back of his knee and then Goth goes on the attack. Goths long hair covers his face but you can tell the demon is enjoying this match. Goth is still attacking the right knee of Tuxedo Mask. Tuxedo is in a bad spot, Tuxedo kicks with his left leg and accidently kicks Goth in the crotch]

Trent Jones: That's the way to go to the darkside.

Jeremy Tucker: That was an accident he would never take a cheap shot like that.

Andrew Fulton: I hate to admit it but Jerry is right, Trent.

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo moves Goth and lays him on the ropes. I think it’s time for that 619 move.

Trent Jones: Damn It.

Jeremy Tucker: The 619 failed Goth caught the right leg and is dragging him into the corner. He locks on a figure four around the ring post and uses his body weight to really put the pressure on him.

[Trent Jones grabs a drink from a fan and throws it onto Goth causing him to break the hold. The two men are screaming at each other.]

Trent Jones : Get back in the ring you little bitch.

[Goth keeps his eye on the prize and rolls back in the ring. He quickly goes back on the attack]

Trent Jones : I am out of here I can't watch this trash anymore.

[Trent walks off with his belt. Goth Is climbing the turnbuckle and he is waiting. Tuxedo Mask stands up his knee is killing him and… ]

Andrew Fulton: Demon Strike… Demon Strike

Jeremy Tucker: Tuxedo Mask may be out cold. These two men have gone all out today in this no holds barred match. Tuxedo Mask is laying on his back. Goth is going for the cover

………..1



……………..2

……………………...Kick out!

Andrew Fulton: I can't believe he just kicked out of that.

Jeremy Tucker: That's cause he is a real competitor and… oh this doesn't look good For him. Boston crab is locked in, he is going for his finisher…

Andrew Fulton: He is going to win this match and Trent said he would face him.

[Goth Torture rack is locked in and he has it locked nice and tight.]

Jeremy Tucker: Any minute this match is over, But both men went all out once again. Goth lets the hold go and he looks over at where Trent was standing and he points to the empty seat next to Andrew. I think he is…

Andrew Fulton: He is calling out the SWAT Champion Trent Jones… But Trent has no respect for this man and left.

[Tuxedo Mask is leaning on the ropes as Psychotic Goth is screaming now at the entrance ramp trying to call Trent Jones back down to the ring. Tuxedo Mask takes advantage of the opportunity and he runs at Goth and he stumbles but can still get an arm to the back of the head. Goth stumbles back into the rope and is laying on the second rope. Tuxedo Mask on a bad leg and all gives the fans the 619 he tried before.]

Jeremy Tucker: Ladies and Gentleman the 619. But I am not sure who hurt who more. Tuxedo Mask is giving it his all but I don't know if he can mount a comeback this late in the game. Tuxedo is working on locking in a sleeper hold. But goth quickly moves out of it and mounts another attack on Tuxedo Mask.

[Just then White Trash Renegade starts again and Trent Jones steps back out with a chair in hand. Goth heads to the ropes and starts yelling back at Trent. Tuxedo Mask rolls him up for the pin.]

………….1


…………………..2


……………………………………...Kick out.

Jeremy Tucker: Wow that was close, Trent Jones almost cost him the match

Trent Jones (screaming): SEE YOU AFTER THE CUP BITCH!

[Trent heads to the back once more and Goth quickly grabs Tuxedo mask and applies the Goth Torture Rack, he steps right into it more and locks back on for the second time tonight.]

Jeremy Tucker: This is draining every bit of energy that Tuxedo Mask has left in him.

Andrew Fulton: Psychotic Goth has this in the bag.

The referee tries to speak to Tuxedo mask but quickly calls for the bell when he sees that he is out cold.

Frank Salazar : WInner of the Match by Knock Out... PSYCHOTIC GOTH!!!

Andrew Fulton: Trent Jones if you think this guy is trash you might want to revisit that thought.

Jeremy Tucker: What a match we just watched. This was full on assault tonight and even the world champion getting involved twice with distractions couldn't help Tuxedo Mask.

Frank Salazar : Winner of the match, PSYCHOTIC GOTH!!!!

[King Syberus]

[ The camera slowly fades into the scene of 110% Syberus sat with his leg propped up inside an enormous hyperbaric oxygen chamber. In the background, the SWAT International Championship sits propped on a pedestal. All the greatest medical minds in the world are at work healing Syberus's injury, a couple of doctors discuss his latest x-ray, a physiotherapist is going over the routine again, and some kind of shaman is brushing cow piss on Syberus's ankle and chanting. ]

[ As the camera draws closer, the various medical professionals disperse and Syberus smiles. ]

110% Syberus: Oh you fools! You think this little inconvenience is going to stop me?? It wasn't enough to stop me beating Anthony Caffery and it's not going to stop me from obliterating your lame azzes in Bilbao. I'm 110% Syberus! I'm the highest percenter in SWAT, and my capacity for healing also runs at 110% of a normal human.

[ A doctor gasps as he looks through a microscope at a tissue sample. ]

110% Syberus: As we speak the muscles are healing, the bones are fusing, my incredible body is returning to full capacity.

And you know, as time goes by following Eddie D's cruel betrayal of the Society of the New Breed, I'm not even mad anymore. I've got to say. Well done. I'm impressed.

It's true – I'm impressed that you didn't sit idly by and allow inevitability to run it's course. You took action. You and Trent didn't like the status quo – and you've said it yourself Eddie – where on the card were you going to be if you didn't smash a baseball bat into Jonnie Valentine's face? Nowhere. You were going nowhere. Of course, that hasn't got anything to do with us “not liking you”, it's just because you aren't very good. I told you this. I told you that you've got a lot of growing to do, a lot of improving to do, and one day you'd make it. One day you might even take that away from me.

[ He gestures over his shoulder to the SWAT International title. ]

110% Syberus: You see Eddie, it's not that anyone doesn't want you here. Of course we want you here! We just want you to be GOOD.

But you decided to take the short cut because, you didn't like the way the place was run. “How come it's only the talented people that get the rewards?” You ask. “How come all the belts're on the top wrestlers? What about incompetent barely literate idiots like Trent Jones and me?” So you cleverly inverted reality like some episode of Dr. Who and shifted the Heavyweight Championship of the World from one of the best wrestlers that's ever lived to potentially one of the worst. So I'm sorry that I reacted poorly at first. We all handle shock differently, and considering what you've done is literally tear at the fabric of reality it's going to take me a period of adjustment to get used to this new normal.

My question is how do I keep the International title around my waist Eddie? I'm 110% Syberus. I give 110% in all things. But now that you've flipped the universe on it's head because you weren't happy that “good” is good and “bad” is bad, how does it work exactly? I can't give less percents, that's not in my nature. *he snaps his fingers* but mayyyybe there's a way I can put 110% into giving like 40, 45!

I could start a biker gang because apparently it's 1985 when those still exist.

I could interrupt matches that have nothing to do with me with some disparaging guest commentary.

Maybe me and Jonnie could just start saying “bro” more often...

Yeah...

[ He thinks about it for a moment. ]

110% Syberus: Or... no.

Eddie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we live in a world where the winners take home the gold and there aren't any trophies for participation. I'm sorry that we work for a wrestling promotion that rewards actual success and ability, and you can't just close your eyes and wish for the accolades to come raining down on you without actually bothering to improve yourself in any way to deserve them.

When you stepped into this company I threw the gauntlet down to you. I saw potential in you and I dared you to realise it.

I dared you to get better, to get onto my level, the level that the Society of the New Breed lives on. But you weren't interested in putting in the yards and getting better at this shit, no, you wanted to stay exactly as you are. So instead you took the easy route, you bitched out, you cried and lashed out and now you're not even the main man, it's not like you ended up with a World Heavyweight Championship and you're not gonna end up with the International title either – not while you're sucking on Trent Jones's teat.

Look at you Eddie.

You've got every physical gift you could want as a professional wrestler. You're a monster! 300Lbs! You bench press motorcycles and eat bricks! But Rally Jackson still shits in your kit bag and 110% Syberus is still the International Champion.

Because when we stand in that ring, Eddie, and we come face to face and 110% Syberus is staring you right in your glazed over, uncomprehending eyes, it doesn't matter that you could throw me from one side of the arena to the next like a paper airplane. I'm Syberus. I'm a fucking celestial being compared to you.

[ He grins, running his tongue along the front of his teeth. An insanely hot massage therapist starts working on Syberus's thighs. Male or female? You decide.]

110% Syberus: Anthony. I've got to admit, I expected a teensy, weensy bit more.

Showing up on Sout's Suite and still acting like your shit don't stink. Trying to whitewash your history already when the memory of me Pure Confidence DDT'ing your face into the earth's core is still fresh in everyone's mind. It wasn't years ago son. It was just the other day.

You walked into SWAT and declared yourself the saviour. Saviour from what by the way? Good TV? Declaring yourself an “Emperor” and running down the guy that just beat you clean is quite frankly bizarre, if you were doing it in some tongue in cheek way and playing off an onset of delusional paranoia I could get onboard but I'm starting to think it's what you actually believe.

It's a shame that you only have one setting. Last week I told you Eddie D and Trent Jones were above your station and the events we're now seeing are evidence as to why. Those guys are at least able to grasp the concept of a character switch – whereas you just received proof of your own mortality and you haven't even broken your stride. When is the message going to sink home, Anthony? When are you going to tear up the script and introduce us to something different?

As a wrestler you weren't bad. In fact, you were top notch and better than I thought you were going to be. But in this business it takes more than an arsenal of leg locks to truly rule. Convenience has given you a place in the main event this week. So maybe it'll just take another slap across the face to shake the cobwebs loose.

Trent Jones, enjoy the most incredulous title victory in living memory. I assure you, it will be short lived.

[ He leans back. ]

110% Syberus: Because you see, this match isn't about outrage.

No, I'm not angry.

I'm just... dissapointed.

One way or another, you've all taken the coward's way out.

Anthony, instead of accepting defeat because it doesn't fit into his narrative that he can't lose, just acts like it didn't happen.

Trent Jones got someone else to do his dirty work when he couldn't win the match himself. He's literally only World Heavyweight Champion because someone else knocked his opponent out with a baseball bat. That's just sad.

And Eddie D, the worst of all, because he actually had potential, turned his back on the challenge I threw down to him and chose to hide behind someone else. To hide behind Trent Jones. Yeesh.

[ A group of doctors come muttering together looking at notes and investigating Syberus's ankle with shock and awe. ]

110% Syberus: But I get where your heads are at right now.

Right now, you must be feeling pretty pleased with yourselves. Anthony, you've probably just convinced yourself you won the match and not me and that you're still undefeated. Eddie and Trent, your grand scheme worked. You're the new power couple in SWAT. You've got the World Heavyweight Championship and you're riding around in matching jackets or whatever believing that this is just the beginning of a new, golden era that puts the pair of you at the top of professional wrestling.

It is not.

Because every action has a reaction.

And the reaction of the Society of the New Breed, is quite a reaction indeed.

[ Fade. ]

[Venom 🕷]

We cut to the back to an all black background with the words “XHF Network” and “SWAT” written in white repeating in diagonal lines like the background behind sports athletes at press conferences. This is not a press conference though. No, this is an old school manager and client promo from back in the day, a true throw back. So what does that mean? Are we going to get mild racism? Misogyny? More “brother” drops than a family reunion? No, none of that, well, maybe some of that. We’re getting a promo from Javier and his client El Combatiente. The two walk in front of the background. El Combatiente smiles and Javier looks serious like he is on a mission.


Javier: Tonight is the night. Tonight is the night the true potential of my client is unleashed. No more ring rust. No more underestimating his opponents due to lack of footage. No. Tonight you get the Champ. The man who dominated the XHF before it was a network of companies. The man who rose to the top when that actually meant something. The man who shocked the world as a rookie winning the Junior Heavyweight Championship on the biggest night of the year at Night of Champions. Until this point he has been a shell of his former self. He has not been that man, but instead the man who has spent the last 12 years of his life teaching this profession. Tonight is the night he returns to his former glory, and there’s only one man that stands in his way, Hayden Callahan.


El Combatiente: Esta noche será una buena batalla. Espero conocer bien al señor Callahan.

(Tonight will be a good battle. I hope to become good acquaintances with mister Callahan.)


Javier: He said tonight Mister Callahan will know his true power. Callahan will learn the speed of my client is unmatched and not something you can prepare for. He will learn that my client is not someone to take lightly. Not someone who can be game planned for. Not someone that is going to play nice.


El Combatiente: Solo espero que tengamos un buen partido que disfruten los fanáticos.

(I just hope we have a good match that the fans enjoy.)


Javier: He said while he is not someone you can prepare for, he is prepared for you. He has studied your underhanded tactics. He has prepared for you to use everything at your disposal to win. He knows that you will find ways to let your pretty little valet help you and is prepared to give you everything he has while keeping one eye on her, and if he can’t keep that eye on her I will be ready to act.


El Combatiente: ¿Bonita? Yo se esa palabra Debes estar hablando de Diana. Ella es una mujer hermosa. Hayden es un hombre afortunado.

(Pretty? I know that word. You must be talking about Diana. She is a beautiful woman. Hayden is a lucky man.)


Javier: He said he is not going to be distracted by her beauty. He said like you she is a dirty player and her dirtiness makes her lower than gutter trash. But we’re not here to cut down the trash that you keep in your corner Callahan. No. We’re here to cut down the trash that is you. While she is trash, you look like trash. Your hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in your entire life. You dress like a tacky side show act. Just how many times do you need your name or initials on your tights?


El Combatiente: Sus medias son bonitas. Espero preguntarle después del partido quién borda su nombre por todas partes.

(His tights are nice. I hope to ask him after the match who embroidered his name all over.)


Javier: He said on top of the tackiness of your tights and your nasty hair you have a stupid beard. It must take a lot of work to purposely look this terrible. But your looks aren’t what we are worried about. What we are worried about is your move Death by Daylight. It’s a solid move that you’ve perfected over your career, but my client is prepared. We have studied and prepared counters for the second you try to lock on the hammer lock to set up for that move. My client is ready and when you try for Death by Daylight you will be the one dead on the mat as my client wiggles his way out and slams you to the mat for the finish. Tonight is the night. Tonight my client makes his final statement in SWAT before this company finally recognizes him as the star that he is.


Javier points his client off camera and El Combatiente smiles one more time behind the mask to the camera and the two walk off screen.

[Justin]

[Back-the-fuck-stage.]

[Again.]

[The Charismatic Dragon sits on an uncomfortable looking bench in what appears to be the least luxurious dressing room in the building. He’s hunched over his phone; visibly moping, huffing his breath, and being an all around Negative Nancy.]

K-JAX:
Goddammit…

[Seconds pass as Kirby stares into the video player on his phone. Whatever he’s watching is rewound and watched again.]

K-JAX:
*AHEM!* I said “GODDAMMIT!”

[Lunchbox Larry explodes out of the shower room like he didn’t just miss a cue. Larry’s hair is still wet and slicked back, his beard is gleaming, and he’s dressed in his particular hue of orange-trimmed, black SWAT sweats. He has quite clearly only just stepped out of the shower.]

Lunchbox:
HEY! I told you not to watch the Tiger King without-

[Larry’s flustered reminder gets cut off by Kirby’s flailing arms.]

K-JAX:
FIRST! I would never! SECOND, this is far more egregious…

[Kirby’s head drops into his open hands. Larry, now clearly concerned for his friend’s wellbeing, rushes over to the bench. He sits, shuffling around to get comfortable.]

Lunchbox:
You’d think SWAT would supply their newest, UNDEFEATED-

[He winks.]

Lunchbox:
Tag team-

[His large arms spread like the wings of an eagle. It’s becoming his new thing when he announces their new name. Odds are because it’s the biggest mental achievement of his life.]

Lunchbox:
Simply… Spe-

[Kirby has heard enough.]

K-JAX:
WE ARE NOT GOING BY SIMPLY SPEECHLESS LARRY!

[Larry’s blank expression says it all.]

…

…

Lunchbox:
But…

[Kirby’s desperation turns to anger.]

K-JAX:
It’s a stupid name, Larry!

[Larry’s eyes bulge. Something feels off.]

Lunchbox:
Where’s this all coming from, bu-uddy?

K-JAX:
I told you-

Larry: [interrupting]
Nah, I mean like, deep down, what’s buggin’ ya bromandudenheim?

[The wind falls out of Kirby’s sails as his partner turns out to be just a bit more intuitive than Jackson had previously given him credit for.]

K-JAX:
I got bored waiting for you to take your half-hour long shower so I pulled up the XHF Network on my phone to check out our match.

Lunchbox:
It’s up already? Awesome! We pounded those guys!

K-JAX:
Yeah. That fuckwit Andrew Fulton called my finish wrong, though.

[Kirby blows out his breath again in the most dramatic of ways. Meanwhile, Larry just kind of stares at him like he’s a long division problem. The man barely knows how to add and subtract, mind you.]

K-JAX:
I mean, like, how fuckin’ hard is it to go to a website and read a bio? What kind of outlaw shit show did we get ourselves involved with, Lar?

[Larry shuffles uneasily.]

[It catches Kirby’s attention.]

K-JAX:
What’d you do, Larry?

[More shuffling from the kid in a giant’s body known as Lunchbox Larry.]

Lunchbox:
Nothin’...

[Kirby’s skeptical stare escalated to an accusatory glare. Larry can’t handle the heat.]

Lunchbox:
So I was talkin’...

K-JAX:
Uh-huh.

[Larry wipes the sweat from his brow.]

Lunchbox:
To the guy. One of those announcer guys.

[Larry rubs the back of his neck.]

Lunchbox:
Well we were talking about stuff. And moves. And I don’t know, maybe finishers.

[One of Kirby’s eyebrows raises. The other remains still atop a squinted eye.]

Lunchbox:
He mighta mentioned how yours was like the Black Mass?

[It wasn’t technically a question, but Larry’s intonation made it sound like one.]

Lunchbox:
Anyway. I figured I’d do us all a favor and told the guy, since he hadn’t met us, that you weren’t Catholic… or black.

[Larry's hands shoot straight forward, palms open.]

Lunchbox:
Not that that’s not okay. Ya know?

[Kirby’s raised eyebrow twitches.]

Lunchbox:
But then it hit me. Like Simply Spee-

[Kirby raises an open hand. Larry knows better than to complete the sentence.]

Lunchbox:
Black Mask! Like… they gotta wear a mask after that!

[The eyebrow lowers. Kirby’s face scrunches. His hands raise to his sides, palms facing the ceiling.]

K-JAX:
You don’t know the name of my finish, do ya?

[Of all the possible questions, Larry wasn’t ready for that one. He stands slack-jawed and simply speechless in front of his partner.]

Lunchbox:
I mean… It’s uh… the… Kirb-

[The skeptical turned intrigued expression on Jackson’s face gives Larry hope.]

Lunchbox:
-inator?!

[Fade.]

K-JAX:
I hate you.

[End.]

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from spots for the Anzac Cup, Spain's wine industry, SWAT's streaming service and SWAT Magazine before returning to ringside where ringsiders are wearing masks and holding up signs that say "Satan's Disciples Raise Hell!," "We want to have a cold Frostbite!," "Satan's Disciple's Rule!," and "Frosty the Dead Man!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing headsets and masks. They are joined by Team Fairtex who are dressed casually in KGB wear and wearing masks as well.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground 26 broadcasting live from beautiful Spain and we've been joined by the former SWAT World Tag Team Champions Team Fairtex."

Andrew Fulton: "You're rubbing it in Jerry. These two honourable men were always fighting champions and yet you never appreciated their title reign."

Jeremy Tucker: "They cheated most of the time."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah the new tag team chumps ran to Commissioner Zoran and told him not to give these great and honourable men any rematches. Is that the true sign of fighting champions?"

Tong Fairtex: "Now...Now...Now...Andrew let's forgive him for being biased and favourable towards a bunch of old timers who need to pad their pensions."

Phantam Fairtex: "Oh and for one it's to whore himself and call himself different aliases like he's trying and failing to market himself in the most ridiculous and dumbass ways to sell merchandise made by cheap slave labour. Then he stiffs the IRS out of what he owes at the same time."

Tong Fairtex: "Then you have the overweight out of shape Brazillian fat ass of a gasbag who proved that he was nothing but a credit stealing piece of shit. Hell, he practically tagged out when he ran out of gas after two minutes with us."

Phantam Fairtex: "If that wasn't embarrassing enough. He steals the credit and the whole spotlight from Tuxedo Mask by tagging in and then finishes the match or shall we say the robbery. Yet who has to drag his fat ugly dead carcass of an ass from the ring after the victory. Yeah it was Tuxedo Mask who did that and that begs the question Jeremy. Was that impressive Jeremy? Is that the best the New Society of the New Breed has to impress SWAT of their superiority? I don't think so."

Jeremy Tucker: "It was a clean victory, I smell sour grapes”.

Andrew Fulton: "You must be joking Jerry. Let the Society of the New Breed stink up the tag belts and let Zero Percent Syberus hobble through every title defense and win via DQ if the opponents try to force a submission."

Jeremy Tucker: "Getting to this match Commissioner Zoran Sainovic ordered two handicap matches including this one involving Frostbite and his former running buddies Satan's Disciples. The other involved a battle between KGB members Joanne Cannelli and The Hired Killers who are very close friends and associates. He obviously has a vendetta against anyone who objects to his leadership."

Tong Fairtex: "Sounds familiar since there's a muther fucker leading this country that Zoran must have voted for. Anyway, both let the power get to their heads and they have egos that seem to be too big for their miniature skulls to hold in. This shows why vaping devices and cigarettes and cigars should be banned. Well if you’re listening Commissioner Zohan the KGB is going to be emerging much stronger and more dangerous and more ruthless and you'll be wishing you had left well enough alone."

Phantam Fairtex: "Oh yeah and if the KGB decides to retaliate it's going to be at the orders of The Boss who will say so. it's going to be just that and Frostbite's going to set the tone and set the example when he beats down and slaps his old running buddies singlehanded."

Jeremy Tucker: "With your help like the last time as well as Bruno's. Commissioner Zoran did warn you if you interfere he would fire you if you interfere "

Tong Fairtex: "Fine. We'll be on our best behaviour Jeremy which is what we are always doing anyway. Besides, we're in the Anzac Cup and nobodies going to stop us, not Zohan and not the freebirds....Oh wait I meant LGBTKO."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh tell us oh great mystic Tong."

Jeremy Tucker: "He also threatened your wives with the same thing if they didn't go ahead with the match or even conspired to sabotage the match."

Phantam Fairtex: "And what happened? They won! They beat Canelli! The one thing you don't do is threaten someone's wife and believe me one way or the other he's going to get his ass beat down. We'll make sure of that even if it means destroying his precious trophy case along with the X-Crown."

Andrew Fulton: "Not the X-Crown."

Phantam Fairtex: "Okay we'll just destroy the cases and preserve the titles."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh keep telling us the truth oh great and wonderful seer Phantam Fairtex."

Phantam Fairtex: "Oh we shall oh great and wonderful truth teller."

Jeremy Tucker: "As you heard earlier Satan's Disciples were practically gloating that they got Frostbite into a handicap match. That's what they've been wanting for some time since Frostbite turned on them. Frostbite's day of reckoning is now."

Andrew Fulton: "Please Jerry. Frostbite's going to knock both the teeth and slap the taste out of Satan's Disciple's mouth's at the same time without breaking much of a sweat."

Jeremy Tucker: "Only if these two don't interfere in the match."

Tong Fairtex: "We said we wouldn't interfere in the match and we keep our word. There's going to be no trouble in this match."

Phantam Fairtex: "If there's going to be any trouble Satan's Disciples will have to be the ones who start it."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah, they'll have to start it."

Jeremy Tucker: "You must have been a parrot in your previous life."

Andrew Fulton: "You have any crackers since Polly is really hungry?"

Jeremy Tucker: "Why did I even ask. Frostbite's been saying he's Satan Disciple's ultimate teacher and in a matter of seconds he's going to either prove that or be considered a fraud. Satan's Disciples have been getting plenty of advice from Frostbite's once tag team partner Psychotic Goth since they tagged a couple of times."

Andrew Fulton: "Those three can have each other if Frostbite cares since all three are losers. Hell, look what happened to Psychotic Goth last show. Eddie D. beat him and then he fooled everyone and allied himself with 'Mr. Bones' Trent Jones and he assisted Jones in beating that joke of a champion Jonnie Valentine."

Jeremy Tucker: "That was unexpected but it was all because Jones needed someone to help steal Valentine's title."

Andrew Fulton: "It's a mercy killing that was destined to be since Valentine's title reign was nothing but a joke from the start along with his comeback to wrestling. He’ll make Satan's Disciples a part of those old washed up has been’ and it's a match made in heaven but in this case pure hell."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well, the Society of the New Breed has a target on their back. However, right now Frostbite has a real huge target on his back and Satan's Disciples want to hit that target real hard with a vengeance."

Andrew Fulton: "Well those two ingrates don't have tag team titles to go for Satan's Disciples will definitely act like two spoiled brats."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "Ladies and gentlemen this next match is a handicap match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Boulder, Co. He comes in 6ft. and weighs in at 225lbs. He is 'The Cold Hearted Bastard' and represents The KGB. Please welcome Frostbite."

("Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays as we see lotus's flying on the tron. A few seconds later day turns to night
as the image fades and another of a huge of a huge nuclear explosion as you see tanks firing in the air and right after that image we see soldiers in unison and that image fades out and another image of a nuclear explosion as you see nothing but ashes and dust of a city. The lights in the city grow dark as it comes back a blue light as seen up the show of the steps as two individuals are seen up there wearing KGB shirts with their heads down. They slowly raise their heads we see the intensity in the blue eyes of Frostbite. They take a walk down the steps as the ringsiders boo him but some reach out and touch him as they touch his hands and broad shoulders cheering him. He fist bumps Team Fairtex as they pass the broadcast table and Team Fairtex fist bumps Bruno. Frostbite enters the ring and removes his KGB shirt as Bruno remains outside arms crossed.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from The Depths of Hell and Portland, Ore...."

Andrew Fulton: "Combine both places and you'll get where they both grew up together."

Frank Salazar: "They come in at 7ft and weigh in at a total combined weight of 720lbs. They represent Team SWAT. Please welcome Doomsday and Lucifer Satan's Disciples."

("Killing in the name of" by Rage against the Machine plays and Satan's Disciples enter ringside to roars . They have expressions of rage and anger and their eyes show nothing but hate and murder. They pass by the broadcast table intentionally and bang their fists on the table hard and threaten Team Fairtex to watch their backs and warn them to stay out of their way.)

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah you over sized goal posts. Watch your empty heads or someone will kick a football mistaking it for your skull after missing the field goal or extra point."

Phantam Fairtex: "Or better yet run into them as if they were a couple of dumb posts."

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell rings and this match is underway. Doomsday starts out for Satan's Disciples and Frostbite's all alone with no one to tag."

Andrew Fulton: "Quite unfair. Commissioner Zoran is a complete jackass."

Jeremy Tucker: "They lock up and Frostbite goes behind with a waistelock but Doomsday powers out and he goes behind with a waistelock of his own and then throws Frostbite down unceremoniously before rubbing his head roughly. He pats him on the shoulders and insults Frostbite's family before slapping him before backing off."

Andrew Fulton: "That's an insult since Frostbite never truly did anything to offend those two dumb bubba dumbasses. They lock up and Frostbite applies a side headlock and is grinding it in before he executes a side headlock takedown. He continues to grind it in putting more pressure on that already empty skull of his."

Tong Fairtex: "Now that's how you do a side headlock compared to those two no neck giant blockheads. They get back to their feet and he takes him back down again. Can you believe that shiny bald chrome domed idiot is complaining about a hair pull."


Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah if it was his dirty germ and dirt filled beard being pulled. Fuck put a laugh track and goofy sound effects and stupid music into this match and then add it to Satan's Disciple's whining and complaining to show what they really are."

Andrew Fulton: "That's a good one Phantam."

Jeremy Tucker: "They make their way back to their feet again and Doomsday back suplex's Frostbite near the corner and Doomsday easily makes his way to his corner to Lucifer and he tags him in. Lucifer happily gets into the ring and anxiously stalks Frostbite to join in on the fun as both open up a double can of whoop ass."

Tong Fairtex: "The ultimate officially sanctioned gang beating that's seems fun to them because it's two against one but if it's even sides or three on two against them. Then we'll see if it's fun and games when they get the double or triple team treatment."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah you have that right when it comes to those two thugs and bullies."

Jeremy Fulton: "Doomsday leaves and Lucifer smiles as he grabs Frostbite's hair and yells something about his family into his face too. He slaps his face silly repeatedly and shoves his head a few times. Frostbite gets in a few shots of his own followed by a couple of European uppercuts but Lucifer delivers a big boot and picks him up before delivering a series of clubbing forearms to the back of Frostbite's neck."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah try crippling the man who made them great."

Tong Fairtex: "No appreciation whatsoever."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite is whipped hard into the opposite corner and Lucifer charges in and trainwrecks him. He follows that with a series of vicious forearms. He sets up Frostbite and he executes a T-Bone suplex which arches Frostbite's back."

Andrew Fulton: “Lucifer bounds into the ropes but Bruno trips him up and Frostbite takes advantage and he executes a jawbreaker. Frostbite goes after that bad leg that Lucifer injured last show."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite kicks and stomps that leg before attempting a figure four but Lucifer kicks him off. He's slow to get up and Frostbite stomps on that leg again. Lucifer is slow to get up and Frostbite grabs his bad leg again. He looks at Doomsday and dares him to enter the ring but the referee warns him not to as Lucifer rolls him up for a close two count."

Andrew Fulton: "Lucifer delivers an uppercut to slow Frostbite down. He delivers a series of headbutts forcing him into a corner. Lucifer charges in and he delivers a devastating running knee and unceremoniously throws Frostbite out of the corner and hurls insults about his family. Once again we're talking ultimate disrespect."

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah imagine if you befriend two bums like these guys and help them out in making something of themselves and they show no appreciation. Now the KGB takes care of it's own like a family and Frostbite wanted to make these two rejects from a bad game of Thrones cosplay convention. We're glad they rejected the offer since they aren't team players anyway."

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah Frostbite showed he has a heart and these two showing why they didn't deserve or act like KGB material.."

Jeremy Tucker: "Satan's Disciples have too much integrity and self respect. Lucifer's looking at the two of you and he's daring you to go after them as Frostbite returns the favour and he rolls up Lucifer for a close two count."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh what Lucifer did was integrity and self respect meanwhile that clueless dimwit zebra made a real suspicious slow count. Then again I bet that's one of Zoran's illiterate relatives who can't count a full hand following his orders. Lucifer tags in Doomsday who wastes no time smashing Frostbite's head and face into the turnbuckle and then does the same with the middle turnbuckle and then the bottom one. He opens up a can of whoop ass and continues to insult Frostbite and his family before stomping his head."

Jeremy Tucker: "Doomsday whips Frostbite into the ropes and delivers a big boot to the face before executing a leg drop He makes the cover for a close three count. Doomsday mounts the top turnbuckle but Bruno gets onto the ring apron."

Tong Fairtex: "That's right Bruno. You point out the referee's dim witted way of officiating the match."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah show him what's wrong with that morons officiating."

Phantam Fairtex: "This is exactly what we've been talking about when Zoran took over. There's rampant bias and Bruno's just doing the job the pinstriped idiot isn't doing. Hell Bruno's a better referee than that jerk is."

Andrew Fulton: "Satan's Disciples go after Bruno who jumps off the apron but stands his ground like a real man as they threaten him. The referee warns Satan's Disciples and Bruno to back off. Frostbite sneaks up and rolls up Doomsday up...One....Two....Thre...No! Doomsday kicks out."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite complains about a slow count. Frostbite sets up and suplex's Doomsday into the corner and charges into the corner with a running knee and then opens up a can of whoop ass, he backs up again and charges in again with a running knee to Doomsday's crotch. Lucifer charges in and clotheslines Frostbite."

Andrew Fulton: "Now that wasn't right since there was no tag. Now Lucifer and Doomsday double team him again while the referee's doing nothing if anything. They whip Frostbite into the corner and then take turns running shoulder blocking him. They deliver vicious elbows to Frostbite's head while continuing to insult his family."

Tong Fairtex: "Hey ref. Yeah you do your fucking job and get one of those two fat asses out of the ring instead of breaking the rules like they always do."

Phantam Fairtex: "You see this is typical Commissioner Zohan and his lawless leadership if nobody agrees with his shit."

Jeremy Tucker: "There was lawlessness during Joe Pesci's and Soutter's leadership."

Andrew Fulton: "At least they didn't do anything stupid like overdoing it by making two or three handicap matches pitting members of one group against another."

Jeremy Tucker: "Oh and Pesci didn't do that with The Society of the New Breed last year."

Andrew Fulton: "Those guys deserved it. Now Doomsday tags in Lucifer officially and is now legitimate. Now tell me that so-called tag is legitimate since both were in the ring at the same time."

Jeremy Tucker: "Ask the referee."

Andrew Fulton: "Fuck no. He would struggle just to come up with a straight answer to that question."

Tong Fairtex: "Meanwhile Lucy is stomping a mudhole into Frostbite's mid-section. He whips Frostbite into the ropes and misses with a big boot. Frostbite comes off the opposite ropes and flying clotheslines Lucy into the ropes."

Phantam Fairtex: "Good work Bruno. He uses the ropes as he pins Doomsday's arms behind his back as Frostbite slaps him and insults his family. Bruno tells Frostbite to finish Doomsday. He bounds into the opposite ropes and attempts a Claymoore kick but hits Bruno accidentally. He holds onto the ropes and barely stays on the apron and Frostbite is calling to him."

Jeremy Tucker: "The two seem to be having words and Bruno's starting to leave ringside. Frostbite's attempting to get Bruno to return but he's refusing to listen to him. Meanwhile Doomsday tags in Lucifer and they double clothesline Frostbite out of the ring onto the hard concrete floor."

Tong Fairtex: "The two bitches lift him up and double gutbuster him before unceremoniously rolling him back into the ring. Excuse us while we take care of some business."

Phantam Fairtex: "Let's do this brother Tong."

Jeremy Tucker: "Phantam's gone after Bruno to try and talk to him but he seems to be ignoring him. He shoves Phantam out of the way and leaves while Tong goes to the ring as Satan's Disciples whip Frostbite into the ropes and 3D him before Lucifer makes the cover....Wait! Frostbite's foot was on the ropes before Tong got to the ring to pull him out and that dumbass nitwit makes the count.....One....two.....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 14minutes Satan's Disciples."

Andrew Fulton: "ROBBERY!....ROBBERY.....ROBBERY!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Satan's Disciple's got some revenge on their old friend Frostbite but you may be right since the true talking points are going to be Bruno's walking out on Frostbite and the fact Frostbite's foot was on the ropes. Now it looks like the referee's allowing Satan's Disciple's to have five minutes with Frostbite even though there's no stipulation for that in the match."

Andrew Fulton: "As if beating up Frostbite wasn't enough. Now those two bullies want to beat up Frostbite more and kill him. At least Team Fairtex is in the ring and is trying to get him out of the ring as Satan's Disciple's attack them from behind like a couple of cowards Satan's Disciple's whip them into opposite corners and charge in only to get double roaring Superman punches out of the corners knocking those two dumb goal posts down."

Jeremy Tucker: "Team Fairtex rolls out of the ring and grabs Frostbite and drags him out of the ring as Doomsday and Lucifer recover and get back up as they bellow and roar challenges to Team Fairtex an demand all three return so they can beat them down further."

Andrew Fulton: "Hey find some goal posts to beat up. Even better fight some real men like Eddie D. and Trent Jones and Anthony Caffrey and see how you feel getting slapped around like real men. At least Team Fairtex knows what real friendship and loyalty is."

Jeremy Tucker: "Are you saying Frostbite isn’t a real man? Something tells me that this feud isn't over with by a long shot and you can bet Frostbite's going to seek revenge after he and his former buddies invoked the other's family. Frostbite's going to be steamed after Bruno abandoned him."

Andrew Fulton: "I hope so since Bruno screwed his client."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now we have to go to a break but we'll be back with more great SWAT action right after these commercials."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[Timeless]

We open to a motel room where we see Timeless and Roxylishus playing cards in lockdown. Not any cards, not strip poker you degenerates, they are playing UNO. Timeless has a Zelda t shirt on and Roxylishus is wearing a Texas Hold Em crop top. You wish you could hold ‘em’. They both look hot, who is hotter? Depends on one’s leanings doesn’t it.

Timeless : So there I was, down to Malus and I, WHAM. BOOM. KaPOW! I demoed that Final Boss Jamooke!

Roxylishus : I remember, first try!

Timeless : Always first try. Game saves are for just that, saves, not retries.

Roxylishus drops a draw 4 card.

Roxylishus : Draw four.

Timeless : (smiling and picking up the 4 cards as it begins raining outside and we can hear the rain on the roof of the motel room) How about Senator Armstrong? Didn’t last five minutes.

Roxylishus : You made mince meat out of him.

She plays a Green Reverse card to give herself another shot, then a Green Skip and grins at Timeless, and plonks down a Green 4.

Timeless : I think you may be the UNO Final Boss!

Roxylishus : Always. Guess who phoned me and say’s they are on the way over?

Timeless : Bobby Barrett?

Roxylishus : No.

Timeless : Tarrasque?

Roxylishus : Come on, he doesn’t know how to use a phone.

Timeless : Who?

Roxylishus : My_Drama_Queen sister! That’s who!

Timeless : Which one?

Roxylishus : Sandra.

Timeless : Sandra? She is ok.

Right on queue, there is a knock on the motel room door, Timeless gets up and opens the door and Roxy’s younger sister Sandra enters the room. She hugs Timeless enthusiastically. She then runs over and hugs Roxylishus, who pushes her away.

Roxylishus : Sandy! Come on! Social distancing and all that.

Sandra is the personification of innocence, the all American girl next door, that’s her.

Timeless (enthusiastically) Sandy! Great to see you, what are you doing in town?

Roxylishus : Yeah, what do want?

Sandra : (looks around and see’s the UNO game going) Ohhh! UNO! My favourite! Can I play?

Timeless : Of cou ....

Roxylishus : (interrupting) We are sort of in the middle of a game.

Sandra : This isn’t a game, this is just fun. A game is them silly games Alex would play against Metroid Prime and Giygas.

Timeless : Wow, you rememb ....

Roxylishus : (interrupting) Who doesn’t remember, we sat there and watched you play them games for days and weeks and yes, you beat the Final Bosses.

Sandra : But he did it in such a fashion Sis that we thought anyone could do so, but god no.

Timeless : So Sandy, what are you doing in town?

Roxylishus : Yeah? Sis_ What do you want?

Sandra : Want? I don’t want anything, but to spend time with my beautiful sister.

Timeless : We know, she is just ...

Roxylishus : Just what? What am I just?

Sandra : You are just ... You.

Timeless : No no. She ...

Roxylishus : She what? Stay out of this. It’s always the same with you isn't it Sis_.

Sandra : With me? I am just here to see you! Why is there always a drama anytime I want to see my sister.

Timeless : Can we get back to me beating the Final Bosses? How about that time I wiped the mat with Jubileus and then what about Baby Bowser?

Roxylishus : Yeah yeah. Like any of us give a stuff about your final bosses. Look Sandy, I don’t know what you want, but we got a good thing going here and we don’t need you trying to jump into it and steal our spotlight.

Sandra : Spotlight? I don’t care about any spotlight. You know that. All I have ever done is support you and encourage and relish in your achievements, and all you have ever done is think i wanted to tear them down and make them my own.

Timeless : Yeah, then I creamed Safer Sephiroth (laughs) Super Nova come at ME!

Roxylishus : Please Sandy. You have always pretended to be little miss innocent, look at me, looks at how wholesome I am, mum, watch me ride my bike down the street with no training wheels.

Sandra : Training wheels? Are you like seven?

Roxylishus : You are.

Sandra : I don’t know what I ever did to make you so resentful of me .... all I have done my whole life is look up to you. I watched by google eyed as Jamiroquai wrote Cosmic Girl for you. I saw you defeat the International Champion Attila Balan in singles competition and told everyone, that’s my BIG sister!

Timeless tips the card table over, and stares at both sister, then looks into the camera.

Timeless : I got a bone to pick!

I’m MAD!

Roxylishus and Sandy (together in backing vocals looking together to the camera) : He’s Mad.

Timeless : But I ain’t stressed. Check it! We are hours away from our match against Lucky Linda and her mystery partner at the Inquisition. Then, The Rumbel, then the Cup.

I looked up the XHF website, and I saw Caffrey .... AND Sainovic! Working together in a joint promotional!

Talk about desperation! The lengths people will go to too actually get some attention. Strange thing is it is the only entertaining thing Caffrey has put forth the entire cycle!

Then, to cap it all off, he goes gets some positive feedback from Zoran making his promo, and decides to go double or nothing, gets called on his bluff and is wiped out with a more than desperation, more a pathetic last call at bringing Rebecca Cross in.

Roxylishus : He could bring in the Pope, Trump, Col Sanders and Radu Matei himself from the bottom of the Hudson River. It doesn’t matter. He can knock out 100 butler’s emphasising his whack elbow strikes because you called him out on not knowing any toher moves or being able to lift a infant off their feet, like it makes him look tough. Hey Alfred! Come here. WHAM! (Roxylishus swings a mock lame elbow at Sandy. )

Sandra ducks selling for Roxylishus

Timeless : (to the camera) Hey Sainovic! Fuck you and Fuck your Lair! Fuck Caffrey and him clinging to your jock like it’s his last chance at some sort of play. Fuck Cross for jumping on that sinking ship after it’s already sunk with the other two.

Fuck Vergil and Ganon and every other ‘Final Boss” I have conquered. Want to know what happens when you defeat the ‘Final boss”?

Roxylishus : YOU CLOCK THE FUCKEN GAME!

Sandra : (Repeating to keep the Kendrick effect) Clock the Game.

Roxylishus : Something in the water.

Sandra : (again repeating) In the water.

Timeless : Yeah. It’s Radu in the Hudson, and next cock sucker who gets in my road will join him there permanently.

Sandra : I have been following the XHF! You got a big shot coming up at the Rumble and also in the Anzac Cup. You too Roxy, i knew you could make it in this world.

Timeless : She and I are going to steam roll the whole field in the Anzac Cup. Starting with Linda and her ohhh so mysterious partner at Battleground.

Roxylishus : That’s right! She is going to feel the Split Splash! Maybe i will have one waiting for her partner too, maybe a few come the rumble also, we will see.

Sandra : Hottest move in Wrestling!

Timeless : Put’s me out for the three count every night!

Roxylishus and Sandra (together to the camera ) We want the Funk.:

Un_Fade_able.