Battleground 26 : The Spanish Inquisition (Show)

[anthonycaffrey]

The camera comes up on the veteran Anthony Caffrey, walking around backstage after his interview with Soutter earlier in the evening. He does his best to keep his social distance, keeping a clear path between himself and all others. He spots the cameraman and urges the cameraman to come closer yet stay back. Once they agree upon a distance, Caffrey clears his throat and begins to speak.

ANTHONY CAFFREY
A lion with a wounded paw is still a lion.

Caffrey holds up his right hand so the camera can see it. It is heavily bandaged and wrapped for protection in advance of tonight’s tables, ladders and chairs match.

CAFFREY
He’s still a ferocious animal even with thousands of jackass detractors booing him.

The live crowd boos as Caffrey smirks towards the camera.

CAFFREY
Tonight, I have the opportunity to show the world that I am more than capable of holding my own in the main event. I have called my shot for the past few months, demanding more eyes and attention on myself. Tonight, I get it… though I’d prefer not to share the spotlight with...

The Wrestling Emperor rolls his eyes.

CAFFREY
...The Brothers of Anarchy. Trent Jones likes motorcycles. Cool, cool. When I was a child, I liked bobbleheads. The little motion when you flick their head amused me to no end. I still have my first one. What does that have to do with anything?

Caffrey laughs.

CAFFREY
...It has nothing to do with wrestling. But still, as I speak to you here and now, Trent Jones is a champion, honestly shocking the world with a victory over Jonnie Valentine, and I am not… for another few weeks, at least. But now is not the time to discuss the Rumble. My perception on Jones is that he has begun swimming in the deep end of the pool. I will be very curious if he drowns or not in the future, and well, me of little faith is predicting that I’m going to have to play lifeguard tonight.

Caffrey’s anger shines through his words as the crowd boos and he reaches into his pocket to pull out another roll of tape. He works at reinforcing his hand for what looks to be the fifth or six time as he continues.

CAFFREY
His new partner, after months of the two hating each other, is the pudgy Eddie D. He’s a glorified nightclub bouncer with a penchant for baseball bats and a Hogan connection. These are the men I’m teaming with tonight against a well-oiled, fully capable, gold-laden, six-handed machine in the form of The Society of the New Breed. If you can hear in the tone of my voice, you’d be right in thinking that we’d be walking into a bad situation if we were wrestling them tonight.

Caffrey pauses taping his hand to put up a free finger.

CAFFREY
Stick with me, we’re getting there.

He resumes taping his right hand, taking delicate care to go slowly.

CAFFREY
Our first opponent is the less-talented half of the new tag team champions. A man who openly claims that he’d like to team up with his partner, who I fully expect to see tonight and render this a four-on-three, to be able to smell women’s asses. That is a real statement on the very bottom of his bio, and you can see why I don’t find that man worthy of my time or respect.

Caffrey spits on the floor.

CAFFREY
He’s an out-of-shape lazy bastard that needs a water bottle and a tag team partner to be successful. I am the Sixty Minute Man -- I went three hours in last year’s XHF Rumble. He’s a fatass with a good leg lock. I counter, lock in the Process, and it’s over for him. I’m more worried about Tuxeo Mask than him, if I’m to be honest.

Caffrey finishes taping his hand and moves onto his left hand. He quickly realizes the challenges of taping his left hand as he is still struggling to grasp things fully with his right hand while being in visible pain.

CAFFREY
Honestly Jonnie, you and I have a little more in common than I may have originally thought. We both expected to win our matches last week before circumstances changed. For me, I realized I was above your miserable jackass of a partner. For you, well… you found out first-hand what happens when you keep making enemies. Seeing as how Eddie and Trent didn’t really have a problem with you until a few weeks ago, I wonder what brought that on?

Caffrey mockingly scratches his head.

CAFFREY
Could it be associating with the most rage-inducing, punchable jackass imaginable? I mean people say I got a punchable face, but he’s either #2 and I’m #1, or vice versa? You’re BFFs with a man who walks around this place like he’s constantly just gotten done eating a bowl of Fruit Loops with a floater in ‘em. A guy who keeps picking fights with guys who are more than ready and able to kick his ass. The enemy of your enemy is not always your friend, Jonnie. Why do you even like that guy? You two are so different. You are a jovial wrestling clown who seems to be the life of a party. He’s the guy at the party you turn to your friends and whisper ‘who invited that asshole?’

Caffrey puts his good hand to his face to do a mocking whisper.

CAFFREY
Pssst, it was the guy with no taste in friends.

Caffrey laughs again.

CAFFREY
But hey, you’re talking to the guy when he debuted in the XHF brought in Jack James and Wellington Dunne. Jack is currently out of the wrestling world, and well, Wellington Dunne’s inability to stick to any company isn’t like mine. Let’s just say it isn’t by choice. So Jonnie, I think we might both be bad at picking our friends.

You add in our World Championship reigns, and hey, I have more in common with you than any of my teammates. But don’t think this is an audition for your club of self-aggrandizing circlejerkers. Trust me, if I wanted to be in a group of guys tugging along each other, we all know which group I’d be joining.

Caffrey stops himself short of making the joke he was going to make in fear of the repercussions from the censors.

CAFFREY
Though with the sorry-ass state they’re in, I doubt you could even get a few minutes of heavy petting. Still though, Jonnie… a talented man hanging out with an unbelievable jackass and a known pervert. Tonight you and I get into the ring together for the first time, and my partners are… huh. A known pervert and an unbelievable jackass. Funny how that works out.

Caffrey laughs.

CAFFREY
So why is my team tonight better than yours? Why is my team going to beat yours, when we’re three guys who have never wrestled together before going against a group that has run roughshod over SWAT for the past few months? What gives me the confidence to say that we’re going to get the job done tonight even though we’re down a whole hand and you’re probably going to bring reinforcements made out of flesh and blood instead of metal? How are we supposed to beat the three of you in a wrestling match?

Caffrey incredibly manages to finish getting his left hand taped. He looks directly into the camera and shakes his heed.

CAFFREY
We’re not.

Caffrey smiles.

CAFFREY
That’s why it’s a damn good thing that tonight is a fight.

Caffrey’s intensity picks up.

CAFFREY
Tonight it’s tables, ladders, and chairs. My two partners may not be at my wrestling level, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that they’d like to kick your asses as much as I do. I’ve got a fucking former nightclub bouncer on my team. You think he hasn’t seen his fair share of fights over the years? And there’s no rules tonight against bringing a fucking baseball bat down to the ring and trying to hit a few homerun balls for the idiot fans who decided to attend instead of staying at home.

The fans boo as Caffrey keeps going.

CAFFREY
Eddie D and Trent Jones went into Manchester with a fucking plan and executed it. I don’t like them, but they kick ass and get the job done tonight. Tonight it’s not about who like each other the most. For five guys in that ring, it’s about beating the shit out of one another. For me, it’s about surviving, it’s about getting through this match in one piece and hopping into a helicopter to fly out to the barge and start getting ready for Zoran and the field. Timeless can bitch and moan for attention all he wants, I know some jackass will think it’s a good idea to give him a shot against whichever X-Crown champion brings the gold back home to SWAT. Just like the first time, I will be ready. And if he beats Zoran on a later date, I can guarantee you he’ll stop calling out the guy who already pinned him for a three-count in the center of the ring.

Everyone on the opposition tonight must have been hoping I would somehow overlook this match. They hoped that my mind would be elsewhere, but from the moment Zoran put me in this match to try to weaken my resolve heading into the Rumble, I’ve only gotten stronger. The Wrestling Emperor is ready for a fight tonight.

Tonight… tonight I’ve got maybe one and a half good hands. I am a cat backed into a corner by three dogs who want to do nothing more than to shut me up and keep me down by tearing me apart tonight. But if you’ve ever seen an alley cat with its back against the wall, you know what I know. You know that it doesn’t just hiss and scream. It viciously claws with everything that it possibly can.

Caffrey makes a clawing motion with his uninjured hand.

CAFFREY
Thing is: I’m not an alley cat. I’m a lion.

The claw turns into a fist.

CAFFREY
And tonight, I take one step closer to being Crowned the king of the jungle.

The crowd boos as Caffrey smiles his sinister smile one more time. The camera cuts.

[thecomedian]

<We open to a gym bag that reads "Eddie D" on it.  The camera pans out a little to reveal it is opened.  Pan out a little bit more as we see a bunch of turds dropping into it.  The camera pulls all the way out to reveal the culprit, but he's taken off out the door.  The cameraman is on the top of his game and chases after him around the corner.  We see "The Golden God" Rally Jackson pulling up his pants.>

Rally Jackson:  Oh, it's just you.  I guess you came here to uhh... get some comments from me about my upcoming match.  Looking for some insight in our team's strategy?  Looking to get a promo out of the Golden God they will be talking about years from now?

Cameraman:  No Rally.  I saw what you did.

Rally Jackson:  And what did I do?

Cameraman:  You shit in that guys bag.

Rally Jackson:  ::getting defensive::  I did what???  I've been here the entire time getting focused for this tender love and care match.

Cameraman:  I saw you.  And it smells like yours.  Like a weird mixture of Popeye's and Burger King.  And you have toilet paper hanging out the back of your pants.

Rally Jackson:  Well everybody is hoarding toilet paper these days....

Cameraman:  And the number one reason I know it was you is you are still doing it!

<We realize we are back in the locker room and Rally is popping a squat over the bag.>

Rally Jackson:  ::sigh::  I didn't think you were paying attention.  Fine, the jig is up.  It's just that I'm sick of these new guys.  They need to be put in their place.  Ribbed a little bit.  Hazed if you will.  They got too big a chip on their shoulders.  These guys at last months main event was just the tip of the iceberg.  Cheating to win the world championship.  Who do they think they are?  There is a pecking order here and these guys have to learn it somehow.  I shit in their bags tonight and we beat the daylights out of them a little later on.

What those two kids did was just criminal.  Hitting someone with a chair?  The rules clearly said that everyone was banned from ringside.  Had the rules not said that than WE would have been down there as well.

<The cameraman gives Rally a suspicious look as if to say "Really Rally, really?">

Rally Jackson:  Of course we would have.

Cameraman:  ::reaching into his pocket::  Well I have this receipt of yours from Whataburger that says you were there at the time the main event started.

Rally Jackson:  Well sure but then I...

Cameraman:  And a receipt from Carl's Jr. of yours that says you were actually there at the END of the match.

Rally Jackson:  Who are you Columbo now?  First you're this voyeur watching, no filming, a man do his business and now you're collecting my receipts?

When I said we, I meant a collective we.  The Society of that Good Weed.  We would have been there.  A representative of our faction.  Maybe not me specifically, but I would have at least been there in spirit.

<Cameraman continues giving Rally a glare.>

Rally Jackson:  What do you have another receipt in that pocket of yours?  Prove I'm lying about something else?

<How do we know he is giving Rally a glare if he's holding the camera?>

Rally Jackson:  Back to the match....

Cameraman:  Can you even name one of your opponent's in tonight's match?

Rally Jackson:  Yeah Eddie D.

Cameraman:  Without looking at the name on the bag.

Rally Jackson:  Y'know what?  Don't do that.  Don't put me in a position where it looks like I'm trying to big league my opponents.  I know their names.  I know all their names.

You can make cracks about my private life and some of the poor choices I've made.  The hookers, oh the hookers.  The weird kinks.  You can pull receipts out of the trash to mock my eating habits.  You can ridicule my health problems.  The diabetes, early onset heart disease.  You can point to all the times I phoned it in in my matches.  You can second guess my financial decisions.  You can ask my kids, some of which I haven't met yet, and get them to say I'm a dead beat dad.

But one thing... one thing you cannot do is accuse me of disrespecting my opponents.

Now I might not take the match itself seriously.  I may not, as they say, adequately prepare.  I may be a danger to my opponents if I get fatigued when lifting them up for a maneuver.  But I give them all the respect in the world as I drop them and accidentally break their neck.

Because we're all in this together  ::Rally's on a roll now::  We're all a bunch of circus clowns putting on a show for the masses.  We are a community, we are a fraternity, we are a brotherhood.  We....

Cameraman:  If you respect your opponents so much why did you shit in their bag?

<End scene.>

[SWAT Team]

The opening of the Game’s “One Blood” hits the pa system and El Combatiente follows his manager Javier onto the stage. They look around soaking up there surrounding until El Combatiente breaks into a full sprint for the ring and slides in. Javier slowly walks to ringside and takes his position at ringside as El Combatiente stretches in the ring preparing for his match to begin.

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from South Los Angeles, CA. Coming in at 5’9 and 219 pounds .... EL COMBATIENTE!!!

Jeremy Tucker: We could have a great match on our hands here with two relative newcomers to SWAT vying to take a step forward up the ladder.

Andrew Fulton: This will be about hunger, and desire. Who wants it more? Much like me after the show at the local bordello.

"Something For You" by David Rolfe begins to play through the PA System as all the lights don a golden shade as the circulate around the stage area.

DIRTY, SEXY, SLINKY THING

POWER OVER ALL WITH THE LOVE YOU BRING

SPINNING, FROM YOUR, MIND CONTROL

SHUFFLING AROUND THIS DEEP DEEP HOLE

That's when the man himself appears as he comes through the curtain, pausing at the top of the stage with a evilish smirk on his face whilst he looks out to the vast majority of fans in the building booing him. He just soaks it all in before making his way down to the ring. Hayden slides onto the ring apron and looks out to the crowd, flipping both middle fingers out to the many that boo him.

YOU ARE THE ONE

MAKES ME SCREAM AND SHOUT

I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

I CAN'T COMPETE

WHY YOU STILL HOLDING OUT

I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!

He enters the ring through the middle ropes and stands in the middle of the ring, a singular golden spotlight shining down on Hayden as one finger is raised and his head is lowered. Hayden looks back up at the heated crowd and just smiles before heading into his corner.



Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from South London, England. Coming in at 5’11 and 210 pounds .... "The Miracle of South London" HAYDEN CALLAHAN!!!

[The referee calls for the bell and both men eye each other up.]

Andrew Fulton: Here we go, I'm excited for this!

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente and Callahan lock up dead centre. El Combatiente immediately flips over Hayden Callahan with an arm drag!

Andrew Fulton: Both these guys seem to be really accomplished wrestlers with very different styles, this could be one for the purists.

Jeremy Tucker: Callahan shoots a sly grin at El Combatiente. Back to his feet, and the two men lock up again.

[Javier Nunez applauds on the outside. El Combatiente turns Callahan into a hammerlock. Callahan quickly reverses into a hammerlock of his own. El Combatiente nips up the turnbuckle and flips over the top!]

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente ducks a clothesline attempt, but Callahan comes back off the ropes with a huge discuss clothesline!!

Andrew Fulton: Irish whip reversal by El Combatiente, Callahan leaps over the top as El Combatiente planks out. Callahan comes back with a sunset flip!

Referee Don Cole: 1... (El Combatiente kicks out)

[Hayden Callahan rocks El Combatiente back with some right hands into a corner. He hip tosses him out from the corner and applies an arm lock.]

Jeremy Tucker: Submission applied by Callahan, yanking back on that arm socket.

Andrew Fulton: El Combatiente flips up with a head scissors and takes Callahan over!

[El Combatiente ducks a return clothesline and drops Callahan with a neck breaker. Callahan rolls around holding the back of his head and kicking at the canvas. Javier Nunez pounds on the apron and yells at El Combantiente to keep it up.]

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente waits for Callahan stalking his prey. Callahan back to his feet, in comes El Combatiente with a spinning heel kick!

Andrew Fulton: El Combatiente drags Callahan back to his feet and shoots him to the ropes with an irish whip. Callahan comes back with a shoulder block!

Jeremy Tucker: Hayden Callahan hooks El Combatiente by the arms and delivers a tiger bomb!!

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... (El Combatiente kicks out)

[Callahan glares at the ref before rolling his wrist and getting back to his feet. He whips El Combatiente to the ropes but El Combatiente reverses, and takes him out with a leg lariat.]

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente bursts back to life!

Andrew Fulton: He comes off the ropes with a springboard moonsault!

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... (Callahan kicks out)

[Javier Nunez screams more instruction at El Combatiente, who climbs to the top turnbuckle. He comes off with a huge 450 splash but Hayden Callahan moves at the last moment!]

Jeremy Tucker: Oohhh what impact!

Andrew Fulton: El Combatiente's body just crashed to the canvas from that great height.

[Hayden Callahan drives El Combatiente into the corner and bulldozes some shoulders into his chest. El Combatiente staggers out and Callahan snaps him down with a jumping cutter.]

Jeremy Tucker: This could be it!

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... (Callahan kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: Kick out at two.

Andrew Fulton: We're starting to see an increase in the impact these two are throwing at each other.

[Callahan pulls El Combatiente back up and whips him to the ropes, Callahan goes for a spinning back fist but El Combatiente ducks it and comes back with a low drop kick.]

Jeremy Tucker: Take down by El Combatiente, and here he climbs the turnbuckle, looking to go high risk again.

Andrew Fulton: Look out Callahan!

Jeremy Tucker: Hurricanrana!

[ El Combatiente flips Callahan over head and he sits back up dazed. El Combatiente nips up with an Enziguri!]

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... (Callahan kicks out)

Jeremy Tucker: What a match we're witnessing here between these two SWAT newcomers! Both men are leaving nothing behind in their pursuit of a victory here.

Andrew Fulton: Callahan back to his feet, El Combatiente goes for the clothesline, but Callahan reverses into a sleeper hold!

Jeremy Tucker: Ohh he could have him here! Could Callahan grab this victory by TKO??

[Callahan wrenches on the sleeper and steps his foot onto the back of El Combatiente's knee, forcing him down.]

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatiente struggles, but Callahan has this sleeper on tight.

Andrew Fulton: After a flurry of offence from both sides, Callahan now takes this match to a dead stop, applying the sleeper and driving the air out of El Combatiente's throat.

Jeremy Tucker: And grounding El Combatiente is the perfect weapon to cutting off his high risk arsenal.

Andrew Fulton: I'm telling you, Hayden Callahan has a bright future here in SWAT. The intelligence this man is showing is going to take him right to the top.

Jeremy Tucker: I think both of these guys have a great chance Andy.

[The referee raises El Combatiente's arm once, it falls. Javier Nunez desperately yells at El Combatiente over and over, trying to wake him up.]

Andrew Fulton: It looks like he's out!

Jeremy Tucker: I think you may be right!

[The referee raises El Combatiente's arm again, it falls for a second time.]

Jeremy Tucker: If El Combatiente's arm falls one more time, this match is over.

[The referee raises El Combatiente's arm for the final time, but he clenches his fist in defiance.]

Jeremy Tucker: No! It's not over yet! El Combatiente lays in some elbows, breaking himself free of the sleeper, he leaps off the middle rope with a springboard press but Callahan catches him with a body slam!!

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... (El Combatiente kicks out)

Andrew Fulton: What a move, Callahan completely cutting off his fightback!

[Hayden Callahan drags El Combatiente up and hits a bulldog off the second rope.]

Jeremy Tucker: Callahan driving El Combatiente's face right into the canvas. He could be in trouble here, looks like Callahan has successful taken control of proceedings.

Andrew Fulton: Callahan now in complete control. He hooks up El Combatiente for a spike brainbuster!! What impact!!

[El Combatiente lands high on his neck and head and flops motionless to the canvas. Hayden Callahan holds his arms out to soak in the jeers from the crowd.]

Andrew Fulton: He's got it Jerry! El Combatiente is dead weight!

Jeremy Tucker: I think you're right, he's not moving. He could be really hurt here Andy.

[The crowd continue to boo but the focus switches to the stage as Lord Dominicus makes his way down to the ring.]

Andrew Fulton: What's happening here?

Jeremy Tucker: Lord Dominicus is El Combatiente's tag team partner in the upcoming Anzac Cup!

Andrew Fulton: Doesn't look like Callahan is happy to see him. And why should he be? We're seeing a great match that the best man is about to win.

[Lord Dominicus gets up on the ring apron and the ref admonishes him. Hayden Callahan berates and goads Lord Dominicus and screams at the ref to expel him from the arena.]

Jeremy Tucker: Hayden Callahan adamant that Lord Dominicus shouldn't be anywhere near this match- Callahan will be in the Anzac Cup with Anthony Caffrey himself, they could yet tangle with this two!

[Lord Dominicus holds up his hands and starts to back up the ramp.]

Jeremy Tucker: Look out- El Combatiente with the roll up!

Referee Don Cole: 1... 2... 3!!!

Andrew Fulton: No!!

Jeremy Tucker: That's it! He's stolen it!

[El Combatiente uses the last of his strength to roll out of the ring and his body slaps to the mat below. Lord Dominicus and Javier Nunez hurry to help him up and drag him back up the ramp, his body still dead weight.]

Frank Salazar: Here is your winner... EL COMATIENTE!!!

Andrew Fulton: I can't believe it, Hayden Callahan had this match won, no way El Combatiente was kicking out. I like Dominicus, but he just made an enemy out of Callahan.

Jeremy Tucker: El Combatientie is oblivious to the interference from Domincus, he doesn’t know he distracted Callahan. Lord Dominicus's timely intervention certainly meant that El Combatiente could take one lass opening and steal the three count here!

[Trent Jones MR Bones.]

**Previously recorded**

Trent Jones is sitting in the airport in the baggage claim office. He looks frustrated as he walks back and forth in the office. His face is as red as the shirt he is wearing. He looks around the counter and bangs his fist down as he yells. “Look I need my second bag… What the fuck how hard is it to put the bag on the conveyor bet and then you put it on the plane that matches the fucking tag.” Trent still isn't getting answers and he is getting angrier by the minute.

Eddie D walks in, “Look man lets go when they find it they can deliver the bag.” Eddie D walks closer, “You got your wrestling gear? You got your belt, you will be good.”

Little did Eddie know that Trents pills are in that bag that is missing. Eddie and Trent went their own ways from the airport Trent had some business to take care of. Trent looked at his cell phone as he reached the outside of the airport. He looked down and opened up Molly Contact information. He knew he had to call her but he was already behind on his meds again. He wanted to say all the right things… Hell he wanted her to fly across the planet to be with him.

Trent slowly hits the call button and the phone rings…. Rings….. Rings….rings…..rings… Voice mail.

“Look Molly, it's Trent Jones, you know that good-looking big wrestler guy who meet. Fuck she knows who i am she left messages” Trent hits 1, Message deleted is heard. “Hey Molly, it's me Trent you know the guy with the Championship Belt… Look I know you left me a few messages sorry my phone was broken…. Fuck don't lie to her.” Trent his 1, Message deleted.
“Hey Molly how's it going, OH shit look at that sexy ass…” Trent Hits 1, Message deleted. “Molly look I fucked up I know things are going bad right now you with your divorce and me just getting off house arrest and then the little mishap with mayo and some slump buster… what I am trying to say Is I didn't want to fuck it up with you. To be honest you make me want to be a better person and you make me want to stop everything and just spend time with you. I screwed up I should have told you that I” To send this message press 3 to delete it and re record it Press 1, Trent Hits 1 he wasn't done. “Look I made a mistake fucking that girl” Your message was sent goodbye!

Trent is frustrated and quickly dials it back, it rings and goes to voicemail once more. “Look Molly I have tried to say the right things and the truth is I probably never will be able to do it. I am sorry I hurt you and I understand why you hate me. Sorry I won't bother you again… I truly am sorry” Trent slides his cell phone back into his pocket, he knows he is close to losing control of himself as the last of the meds wear off. Even though Molly is gone he writes a note on his left hand in sharpie. It reads no slumpbusters, no skanks, no blowies. He grabs the next taxi and heads to the hotel.

At the hotel Trent checks in and heads to his room, he looks at a picture of Molly as he drops his bag. He drops on his bed. He has to focus on this huge match coming up so he tries to fall asleep before he makes any more mistakes. But we all know Trent and we know Mistakes are going to happen. At the end of the day Trent Jones is going to be Trent Jones. He sleeps as his phone rings but Molly doesn't leave a message she just hangs up.
______________
Live video feed

The arena lights fall dark as a golden rug is rolled down towards the ring. A gravestone with Jonnie Valentine Career 2020 lights up on the far right (stage left side) of the entrance ramp. On the opposite side a statue of Trent Jones riding on his bike lights up.

White Trash Renegade starts as Trent Jones walks out wearing black leather pants. A golden spot light shines down on Trent. The title belt is on and Trent has on a red shirt with the sleeves cut off and his Ryder vest. He stops and turns and walks towards the gravestone. Trent pisses on the gravestone and then walks towards the ring.

As Trent slides in the ring a giant banner lowers from the roof. Trents face and the title are on both sides of it. The banner has spot lights on it. Trent grabs a microphone as the area lights come back on. Trent circles the ring.

Trent Jones, “ladies and gentleman it’s your champion Trent Jones…. Mr. Bones and I promised you that I was going to take the trash out and that I did. Jonnie Valentine's run as champion is over. You see some of you said you didn’t end his career and your right I didn’t. What fun would that be, I made it so he has to see me walk around with this title. You see I ended that Russian guy and I didn’t get to watch his pain of watching me move above him. Now little Jonnie is going to watch me become the greatest Champion in SWAT history.”

Trent takes the belt and holds it in the air. “Look Jonnie, I am holding this and I am going to run the table with this belt. The days of Lazy and Shit Tallent holding belts is coming to an end. The tag belts are next for Eddie D and this mother fucker right here. Take a second and look around, In 8 matches I went from a no named wrestler to a world fucking champion.” He puts the belt back on and he walks to the far corner and turns to the fans.

“Ladies and Gentleman, This is what a champion looks like, this right here.”

***A video starts replaying show Trent Jones winning the title. Then it shows pictures of Trent Jones holding the belt as trash bags with most of the SWAT roster faces on each bag. ***

Trent is scratching his crotch area and he notices he is in the ring and on the network live. “Oh shit my bad, I am sorry I am not used to wearing a condom. Oh yeah you see I had that Covid Dick scare last week and to be honest I am trying to be safe I couldn't find a good mask for the pork sword so I grabbed a condom and now it is ready to go. But you see World Champion Trent Jones doesn't need no slump buster… its funny that one of my partners tonight is already saying he wants a shot but he failed to beat 110% lame and now he thinks he deserves a shot at the top title… fuck that. Tonight I don't expect much, I had to say I am a little disappointed that I didn't get to see a cabin with the boys video. Probably a very good thing otherwise we would have seen shit we didn't want to see.”

Trent walks Around to the corner on his right and he looks at the fans. He takes the belt off once more.

“Trent Jones, you know this is all wrong… I will be right back.”

Trent walks to the back as White Trash Renegade plays.

Jeremy Tucker: What in the heck does he mean he will be right back?

Andrew Fulton: Who knows when you're talking about the man called Trent Jones. But he is our champion and this guy is living it up.

The gravestone is removed and the statue is brought to the back. But then the sound of motorcycles are heard and in rides little Ray Ray, one of the house mates from Trent Jones, former halfway house. His motorcycle is tiny and the fans laugh. Next, Layton Cook rides out on his motorcycle. Alex Stone is the third man to ride out. Then Eddie D rides out on a bike.

White Trash Renegade hits again and Trent jones rides out on a gold-plated bike, the title is sitting in a holder on the front of the bike. Trent is dressed in Black pants that say Mr Bone on the side in gold and then a t-shirt that has Trent's face sitting on a pile of severed heads of every active wrestler in SWAT besides Eddie D. His Ryder vest is open showing the shirt.

Trent Jones steps back in the ring and he has a smile on his face. Trent grabs the microphone and he notices he forgot to grab his belt. Trent looks around. He looks at Eddie D, “Get your ass in here and do me a favor can you grab my belt for me brother.”

Eddie D grabs the belt and hands it to Trent. “I want to be the first to clear a few things up. I may be world champion and leader of the ryders… However this tag team is 2 equal men, 2 of the very best here in SWAT and 2 of the strongest men in the world.” Trent slaps hands with Eddie D.

“You see when people like 110% foreskin speaking about my Boy Eddie D it gets my attention. Look how you're going to sit back and talk shit about Eddie D had to do it to get to the top. He forgets that Eddie D and I both threw your ass out of the ring. You got lucky because the two of us focused on beating each other that we lost focus in that match. Things are different now I don’t care if Eddie D gets every single pin in the ring. You say you will keep the title because you give 110%... god that is the most overplayed phrase off all time. But let's assume it's true.. When you give more than you can possibly give it eventually catches up to you. And that day is coming. Hell I am surprised Goth psycho or Emo Goth or whatever his name is has not challenged you yet. That guy is not On Eddie D level and he isn't on mine but he could take that title from you.”

Eddie D calls for a microphone. “The Society of The New Breed are a stable, a stable full of donkeys. We are a tag team, we are a team of equals, we are THE Tag Team. THE Big Deal Eddie D. The Champ Trent Jones. We are Brothers in Anarchy.
I am not "the other biker guy". The Graveyard Ryders are accepting me into their brotherhood, but we are not an nWo / DX knock off.
In-ring business is strictly down to me and Trent.
This is a partnership, I am not hiding behind anyone, I am not hiding from anyone. You'll all see me front and centre tonight in the main event. Where we both belong. Not because we cut corners, but because we're this damned good.”

Trent Jones looks around the arena, “The world is on notice now… yeah we took it to the society of old bread…. Wait no what is it Eddie D?”

Eddie D speaks on the microphone. “Society of the new Bread.”

Trent Jones shakes his head, “Old bread smelt right but whatever… Look ladies and gentleman I was going to give you fans a fake ass promotion. I was going to come out here and tell you how proud I am to be a champion… fuck it I can give you a taste.

“And Action”

“Defeating Jonnie Valentine was a dream come true. I wanted so bad to be your champion. Defeating Jonnie Valentine will go down as the greatest moment ever and I couldn't have done it without you fans. You all get to take some credit for me being champ. Trent Jones is a better wrestler now because of this big win against Valentine. Valentine you're the greatest wrestler I have ever faced and it truly was a blessing to work in the ring with you. I studied your matches and I learned from the master. SWAT I am a new man now and I am here for you, the fans.”

Eddie D laughs, “Did you forget your medication again?”

Trent shakes his head, “Look these fans want a champ that will play up to them and kiss this places ass, they don’t want us to shit on their beloved trash here in swat and they for sure don't want to see us destroy that trash in the ring. They don't like this new force in SWAT coming in here and destroying their safety blankets. They don't want us to destroy this place but they know that is what we will do. But you see every old school fan hates us but we are bringing people to SWAT from the rest of the world. We have made this place the focus of the wrestling world. XHF is so lucky to have the two best wrestlers in all of the wrestling in its network.”

Brothers in Anarchy Shows on the Screen as the two men stand in the center of the ring. Linkin Park One Step Closer starts to play as the two men Head out of the ring.
Jeremy Tucker: Well one thing is very clear these two giant men are on the same page and they have nothing but bad intentions for the rest of the roster. I think everyone in SWAT better take notice of this.

Andrew Fulton: If I was a tag team I know who I would be worried about facing. These guys are going to light it up in SWAT.

Trent Jones and Eddie D are still at the entrance part of the arena. They look at each other and they ride to the back.

[thejerseydevildiva]

Act 1: In Search

The scene opens on the backstage area where we see Joanne moving quickly down the long hallway pushing past people that now stood in her way. She looked like a woman possessed. She moves with purpose and after the conversation with the sisters she was not thrilled. She had been cheated and all three of them were used in a sick plan that could have been stopped if she had only known. Joanne wasn't upset at Jade or Kim now, but her sights had been set on another. Zoran! The name swirled in her mind, as she moved still searching for the man that cost her the title. She dealt with Jade and Kim and now it was his turn. A young woman holding a clip board walks on the other side of the hallway and Joanne moves with a quick and fluid movement even to quick for the eye to see. The young woman is in her grasp against the wall.

Joanne: Where is Zoran?

Young Woman: I-I-I haven't seen him Miss Canelli...

Joanne: You better be tellin' the truth. If you're not I'll make sure there isn't anythin'  that anyone will be to find when I'm done with you.

She lets the young woman fall to the ground. Joanne walks away as a growl escapes from her throat. She rounds the corner and soon runs into Glenda. Joanne's eyes flash red before they turn back to their normal color.

GG: Miss Canelli can I get a word about what happened earlier tonight in your match against Kim and Jade?

Joanne: What do you want to know? How I was cheated? How the three of us were used? I mean take your pick...

GG: How about you're feelings about facing off against the sisters?

Joanne: I never had any issue facin' off against them. I don't have any harsh feelin's against them! It was the fact they didn't say anythin' to me about what the plan was from Zoran! That's why I was pissed at them. Now I don't have my title and Zoran got away with somethin'.

GG: Is that what you're doing? Trying to find Zoran?

Joanne growls once again, as she nods.

Joanne: I was... But you stopped me. Now if you want to ask anythin' else do so...

GG: N-N-N-Not really. I think you answered my questions.

Joanne: Good. Now get out of my way!

Joanne walks away leaving Glenda standing in the middle of the hallway alone as the scene fades to black.

[lunchboxlarry]

[Skip to the back.]

[We sneak through a barely open locker room door. Taped on the outside is a piece of paper with Simply Speechless scribbled out. Inside sits a still mopey, not so Charismatic Dragon, Kirby Jackson. He’s hunched over his phone. We can’t quite confirm from the current angle, but it looks like he’s binge watching cat videos.]

K-JAX:
Oh, Grumpy. This world just doesn’t understand us, does it?

[Things are worse than we thought.]

K-JAX:
I mean, why do we even name things if no one remembers the names?

[Yep. He’s still on that.]

K-JAX:
Might as well just be the Crappy-Hatted Dr-

Lunchbox:
KIRB! Someone scratched out the name tag I made for us on the door!

[Kirby scrambles to lock his phone as his large, lumbering teammate towers over him within the blink of an eye.]

K-JAX:
Yeah of course I know. I-

[Larry, clearly flustered, runs both hands through his shiny, black hair. Kirby looks up and sees the despair cover his simple friend’s face. He quickly changes his tune from unsurprised, and lies through his teeth.]

K-JAX:
I couldn’t make out exactly who it was…

[Larry deflates. All is lost.]

K-JAX:
But I saw where they went.

[Larry’s head snaps up. His blue eyes electrify.]

Lunchbox:
Can we?

[He asks with the tone of a ten year old, begging his mom to take him to the ice cream shop, tilting his head out toward the hall. Kirby, no idea where he’s going to lead his big lug of a teammate, nods his head.]

[Larry fistpumps, like Tiger Woods of old on a Sunday.]

Lunchbox:
YES!

[Kirby can’t help but smile as he leads his partner out of the locker room. As they fade out, you can hear Larry’s enthusiastic voice bellow.]

Lunchbox:
SO! I know you loved Sim- right! I won’t say it. Too many times and it loses its awesomeness. I remember. BUT! I finally came up with my own nickname… L-BOX! What d’ya think?! Nevermind, cuz that’s not even the best part! We could be…

[They've faded to black by now, but you can picture Larry’s large arms spread eagle-ing in slow motion.]

L-BOX:
JAX AND THE BOX! You get it?!

[The last sounds of the feed are an extremely heavy sigh, and-]

K-JAX:
Yeah, Lar. I get it...

[SWAT Team]

Andrew Fulton: Poor Roxy.


Jeremy Tucker: She'll be fine. Up next fans we have Commissioner Sainovic's punishment for Timeless Alex Turner in which him and Roxy take on Lucky Linda La Fey and a mystery partner of her choosing.


Andrew Fulton: What if its Avery? Or Goth? He HATES Timeless. Or Syberus could pull double duty. He HATES Timeless. Or Joey? Well no... Timeless could win that easily. Or Beelzebozo?! He's COMPLETELY insane. Or CSK? He'll do anything for money. This is completely intolerable!


Jeremy Tucker: Timeless is looking to be a repeat Anzac Cup winner, Roxy is his partner, and they have to be prepared to beat anyone, because to win that cup - they will have to be able beat everyone.


Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall...

[Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and Turner struts down the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust. Roxylishus stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Turner.


Roxylishus grabs the mic and passes it to Turner.]


Timeless : I got passion in my pants and i ain’t afraid to show it.


Crowd : I’M, SEXY AND I KNOW IT!


Timeless : No (holding his hand up to block them) Your not! I (points to himself with his thumb) AM!


[Timeless drops the mic and saunters smugly around the ring impressed with himself.]


Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from New Hope, Minnesotta. ...Representing the KGB .... the team of TIMELESS ALEX TURNER and ROXYLISHUS!!!


[There are general jeers for at least half of the couple.]


Frank Salazar: And their opponents...

Linger, Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda makes her way down the ramp way, high fiving the fans.


Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Dublin, Ireland. Coming in at 5’5 and 130 pounds .... LUCKY LINDA LA FEY!!!

[The house lights fade, leaving the arena in darkness.]

#SHAKE IT... like a ladder to the sun#

*EXPLOSIVE POP*

[Yeah Yeah Yeahs' ZERO starts to pump over the PA system.]

#Makes me feel like a madman on the run#

[The tron starts to show footage of the world champion's recent defences. Black and white. The amount of blood loss makes it look like an old horror film, but it does the trick working the crowd up into a frenzy.]

#find me never, never far gone...#
#So get your leather, leather...#
#LEATHER ON on on on...#

[The footage then cuts to the backstage, just as the champion throws a powder blue leather jacket over his vintage '86 DOA "To Hell and back" tee. Not the best wrestling attire, but its a better look than the mass of bandages that give him a Mummy vibe. As the music hits his cue, he starts pushing forwards towards the curtains.]

#You're a zerooooooooooooooOOOOOOoo#
#What's your name?#
#No one's gonna ask you#
#Better find out where they want you to GOOOOOOOooooooooo#
#Try and hit the spot#
#Get to know it in the dark#

[Purple spotlights search through the crowd, building a sense of anticipation. The audience cheer for the next participant, as repulsive as he is, he's oddly compelling. The erratic movement of the lights start to circle closer together before eventually, the perfect circles of light connect into the body of a large centipede. The visual representation of the insect stalks over the crowd, before racing towards the entranceway. Hitting the black curtains, the purple lights seem to double up, and fold into themselves.]

#Get to know it whether you're a crime, crime, crime of love#
#Can you climb, climb#
#climb hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigher?#

[Rough hands swatting aside the curtain, the five-time SWAT Dixieland champion pushes his way out into the arena. Clenching his fists, Radu Matei starts to stalk down the aisle in sync with the music. The audience pop for his return is deafening.]

#Shake it like a ladder to the sun#
#Makes me feel like a madman on the run#
#Know you're never, never far gone#
#So get your leather, leather, leather on-on-on-on-on#

[Smiling, Radu leans closer to the railings on his travels back and forth, slapping more hands on his way down the aisle.]

#You're a zerooooooooooooo#
#What's your name?#
#No one's gonna ask you#
#Better find out where they want you to goooooooooooooooooooooo#
#Try and hit the spot#
#Get to know it in the dark#
#Get to know it whether you're a crime, crime, crime of loooooooooooooooooove#
#Can you climb, climb, climb hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigher?#

[Arriving at ringside, the champion lifts the ring curtain to check on his bag of tricks. Nothing has escaped. Probably for the best. Leaving the sack next to the ring steps, Matei slowly ascends to the ring. Getting onto the apron he exchanges pleasantries with Linda before shooting Timeless the look of death. The Deathless has arrived.]



Frank Salazar : And her partner, hailing from Sibiu, Romania. Coming in at 6’2 and 234 pounds .... The Sacrificial Idol, Deathless, Unbreakable M, The Beast of Dixie ...RADU MATEI!!![/B]


Andrew Fulton: NO!


Jeremy Tucker: RADU MATEI! RADU MATEI IS BACK!!!


Andrew Fulton: NOOO!


Jeremy Tucker: We have not seen our longest reigning world champion since the man across from the ring with him, and Zoran Sainovic, dropped him in the brooklyn river back at SWAT's Royal Rumble. It’s been three long months - I never thought we'd see him again!


Andrew Fulton: This isn't fair!


Jeremy Tucker: Timeless looks like he's seen a ghost. The colour just went completely out of his face.


Andrew Fulton: ROXY IS GOING TO DIE!


Jeremy Tucker: Please Andrew, Radu isn't our most popular wrestler for putting women in comas.


Andrew Fulton: He DID it to Roxy when she WASN'T wrestling.


Jeremy Tucker: Oh. right.


DING. DING. DING.


Jeremy Tucker: There’s the bell fans. Timeless looks extremely upset by the appearance of Linda’s partner.


Andrew Fulton: Who can blame him?! The first time Timeless challenged the world title that MONSTER ended up putting Roxy in intensive care... and she wasn’t even in that match!


Jeremy Tucker: Roxy doesn’t seem half as concerned as Timeless, wanting to start with Radu. Calling the former world champion names. You have to admire her spunk.


Andrew Fulton: Radu happy to oblige, sick monster that he is. The last time we saw the Helloween Cup winner, he was being dumped into the east river by Timeless. Matei’s been out with injury since January, and I think he’d like nothing more than to stretch the time traveler’s wife in front of him.


Jeremy Tucker: There’s the tag! After a lot of stalling, Timeless finally convincing Radu to tag out to Linda.


Andrew Fulton: Linda and Roxy in the ring, collar and elbow tie-up. Lucky Linda the stronger of the two, muscling Roxy towards the ropes and – Timeless just tagged himself in!


Jeremy Tucker: Turner not having a problem with mixed gender matches, as long as he’s the one doing the mixing. Dragging Linda to the canvas by the hair, and pulls her into a vicious kneelift to the head. Roxy complaining to the referee that she wasn’t ready to tag in yet, while Timeless chokes Linda! Come on ref, she’s clearly distracting you!


Andrew Fulton: Radu charging across the ring to make the save, and Roxy QUICK to point it out, using the referee as a shield. Referee telling Radu to go back to his own corner, while behind his back Timeless and Roxy continue to choke Linda. See that’s chemistry! With the Anzac coming up you can’t just throw two stars together and expect to be on the same page as a married couple! Timeless is going to be a REPEAT Anzac winner!


Jeremy Tucker: Care to place money on it?


Andrew Fulton: Let’s see if he doesn’t wind up in hospital here first.


Jeremy Tucker: Roxy tagging herself back in, and running her incredible long nails down Linda’s back. That’ll draw blood. Roxy goes for a slap, but Linda takes her over with an armdrag. Dropkick to the back of the neck. Lucky Linda is the ambassador of Amazon wrestling, she’s spent a long time making woman’s wrestling respectable in SWAT, and she’s not going to let Roxy get away with her cat fight offence.


Andrew Fulton: We can dream though, right?


Jeremy Tucker: Linda with a DOCTOR BOMB – gets one, before she lets go of the cover. Into the ropes, springboard senton! There’s the cover... 1... 2... Timeless with a kick to the face to break the pin.


Andrew Fulton: Ha! I thought Radu might have some ring rust after his hospital stint, but it looks like we’ll never know as he looks frustrated on the apron.


Jeremy Tucker: Linda taking Roxy back up with a headlock, starts to transition into a neckbreaker, but Roxy with a rake to the eyes. And eye gouge!


Andrew Fulton: Timeless entering with a slingshot dropkick, tagging in in midair! That is class right there!


Jeremy Tucker: Slingshot dropkick to the face, and Timeless with a fistful of tights for 1... 2... kickout!


Andrew Fulton: Linda thought she was being smart with her partner, but she was better off grabbing a tag specialist. I don’t see Radu running over to make the save.


Jeremy Tucker: He didn’t need to. Radu and Linda have a mutual respect based on their 2019 match of the year. He knows she can handle anything Timeless can throw at her!


Andrew Fulton: Well right now Turner is throwing a standing moonsault. 1...2... foot on the ropes. Putting the boots to her. Now slapping on a figure-four leglock.


Jeremy Tucker: Roxy distracting the referee, and Timeless using the ropes for added leverage. Radu trying to point this out to the referee, but its falling on deaf ears. Roxy off the top with a stomp to Linda’s exposed midsection! Radu trying to come in to break-up the double team, but the referee cutting him off. Come on ref!


Andrew Fulton: With Gibson admonishing Radu; that leaves Roxy and Timeless to continue their double team.


Jeremy Tucker: Radu quick to exit, not wanting to play into it, still enough time for the couple to hit a spike piledriver. And another choke as Timeless stands on Linda’s throat while tagging Roxy in.


Andrew Fulton: Double stomp off the top by Roxy! There is another cover 1... 2... kickout! Wait – what’s he doing?


Jeremy Tucker: It looks like the Sacrificial Idol has had enough of waiting on the corner. He’s been waiting for months to get revenge, he’s not waiting any longer. Stalking around the outside – grabbing Timeless by the ankle...


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Andrew Fulton: DAMN!


Jeremy Tucker: RADU MATEI JUST YANKED TIMELESS OFF THE APRON, SENDS HIM FLYING FACE FIRST INTO THE GUARDRAIL!


Andrew Fulton: Can’t get it done in the ring so he cheap shots poor Timeless on the outside.


Jeremy Tucker: Turner is asking for it! As Radu continues to manhandle Timeless on the outside, inside the ring Roxy puts Linda into the turnabout! Roxy with her variation on her husband’s submission hold!


Andrew Fulton: Given Linda’s status as the cornerstone of the Amazon division, what a feather it would be in the cap of Roxy to pick up the submission here.


Jeremy Tucker: Outside, Timeless swinging a chair – but Radu punching it away. Timeless and Radu brawling around ringside. Timeless trying to move he brawl towards the aisle.


Andrew Fulton: That is smart on Timeless’ part. If he keeps Radu away from the ring, he doesn’t have to worry about The Beast manhandling Roxy. It effectively turns it into a singles match between the ladies, and Linda has been double teamed enough that you have to give Roxy the advantage there.


Jeremy Tucker: Roxy cranking back on the Turnabout – no, Linda rolls through, reversing it into an inside cradle – 1, 2...


Andrew Fulton: Roxy with the kickout!


Jeremy Tucker: Both women up to their feet, Roxy going for a slap, but Lucky Linda catches the hand. Wristlock. Wristlock takedown! Hammerlock armbar – transitions into a legdrop! Linda back in control, and forcing Roxy into a chain wrestling sequence.


Andrew Fulton: Radu with a spinning backfist, takes Timeless down. Stalks back to the ring, and picking up his burlap sack. So gross!


Jeremy Tucker: We ALL know what’s in that sack. Radu leaving it in the corner to make sure it gets used. Linda and Radu exchanging thumbs ups. She’s on the same page.


Andrew Fulton: It makes my skin crawl thinking about the creepy crawlies in that sack.


Jeremy Tucker: Faced with the prospect of Roxy getting doused in worms, maggots or cockroaches, Timeless suddenly wants to return to his corner and make this a tag match again, but Radu having none of that, continues to brawl with him on the outside!


Andrew Fulton: Roxy spotting the sack, starts to roll away – only to get pinned in place with a spinning elbow by Linda.


Jeremy Tucker: Gorilla press sends Timeless into the crowd! Radu following him in there. The two men picking up where they left off at No Man’s Land with a wild brawl. Audience members offering Radu weapons to use on Timeless, which he accepts so he’s not being rude.


Andrew Fulton: They’re giving weapons to Timeless too!


Jeremy Tucker: Well, he’s intercepting some of the ones that are being offered to Radu.


Andrew Fulton: Both men already bloodied as they ferociously trade shot for shot.


Jeremy Tucker: In the ring, Linda fires Roxy off into the corner with an Irish whip. Charges in with an avalanche, but Roxy catches her – turns it into a backbreaker. Repeater backbreaker! Transitions the last one into a bow-and-arrow submission hold, I did not see that coming.


Andrew Fulton: Roxy’s actually a surprisingly good wrestler. I’m not saying the ditz routine is an act, but in the Backyard offshoot she was a serious title challenger that actually went toe to toe with I-man, which not many can claim.


Jeremy Tucker: I thought we agreed never to mention that cursed region again.


Andrew Fulton: Sorry Jerry, it seemed pertinent.


Jeremy Tucker: Having worn Linda down, Roxy transitioning into a fireman’s carry brainbuster! There’s the cover – 1... 2... foot in the ropes!


Andrew Fulton: A second cover with a handful of tights! 1... 2... big kickout!


Jeremy Tucker: In the crowd, Radu Matei chasing Timeless with fireballs. The scariest man in SWAT living up to his reputation. Even as Timeless uses fans as human shields, they don’t discourage Radu’s tactics, shaking off burns and wishing him luck on the next throw!


Andrew Fulton: Psychotic.


Jeremy Tucker: Back in the ring, Roxy goes for a Roxycanrana – but Linda counters with a powerbomb! Roxy knocked silly, and Linda rolls her over for the Irish Cloverleaf.


Andrew Fulton: Roxy desperately trying to reach the ropes... struggles over.


Jeremy Tucker: Fistful of ropes forces the break, but Linda twists her around, inside cradle! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!


DING! DING!! DING!!!


Frank Salazar: The winners of this match...


Lucky Linda and Radu Matei!!!


*Huge Pop*


Andrew Fulton: Roxy pouting to the referee about a fast count...


Jeremy Tucker: And I think Linda has had just enough of the prima donna act, boot to the midsection and tornado DDT knocks Roxy out cold! Now Linda pointing to the bag of bugs, and the crowd roaring their approval!


Andrew Fulton: Don’t do it, Linda! Roxy is too pretty for that!


Jeremy Tucker: Linda retrieving the bag, and turning to the unconscious Roxy! Looking to dump the contents – I can’t watch.


Andrew Fulton: YES! A blood soaked Timeless jumping the rail to reenter ringside – drags Roxy out of the ring just in the nick of time. Throwing his unconscious wife over his shoulder, Timeless turns to – OH NO!


*EPIC POP*


Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei standing in the aisle, blocking their way to the back! Timeless is between having his face rearranged and a hard place. Linda tossing that sack of insects over to Matei!


Andrew Fulton: Timeless backing away from the grotesque beast... and who can blame him! Who knows what horrible vermin are in that sack.


Jeremy Tucker: You drop a building on a guy, be prepared to take a worm shower. Timeless cowering, and Radu winding up-


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


*confusion*


Andrew Fulton: BUTTERFLIES?


Jeremy Tucker: Matei just released some beautiful blue butterflies, which rather than splattering Timeless are flying away. Timeless looks like he just won a round of Russian roulette, which is not as relaxing as you think.


Radu Matei: Seems to me, I owe you one, Turner. <walking past the bloody couple> You might be able to travel through time, and know everything that is about to happen… but I guarantee this, YOU WILL NOT SEE ME COMING.


[Timeless looks like someone walked over his grave, as Matei walks past the beaten couple to join Linda in the ring.]


Radu Matei: I was looking forwards to more tags.


Lucky Linda: Me too. <turning to the crowd with a smile> Maybe we should try to do this again soon?


*They are pandering to us, but we’re eating it up like the marks we are pop!*


Radu Matei <addressing crowd>: I have some unfinished business with our commissioner. Linda has a lot of money owed to her, and no one willing to discuss it. What better time to have a dialogue with Zoran Sainovic, then when he’s in the ring, HANDING US THE ANZAC CUP!!!


*There it is!*


Lucky Linda: The Helloween Cup and the No Man’s Land invitational – in this ring, you are looking at the winners of the last two tournaments that SWAT has put on.


Radu Matei: Of course, there is a difference between me when I was world champion and now...


Lucky Linda: What’s that Rad?


Radu Matei <eyes narrow>: I’m rested.


Lucky Linda <turning back to the camera with an empathetic smile>: Good luck SWAT.


[The duo strike a pose as flashbulbs go off throughout the arena.]


Andrew Fulton: God damn. They’ll be unstoppable. I think I’m going to be sick.


Jeremy Tucker: We weren’t able to see them in tag action, still the victors... and as two of the more decorated singles stars in the company, you have to think they’re going to be the front runners. What a fantastic addition! The tournament is really heating up!


Andrew Fulton: Ugh. I was really looking forwards to the Anzac this year... then this happens.

[SWAT Team]

One Step Closer by Linken Park hits and the New SWAT World Heavyweight Champion, Mr Bones Trent Jones and “The BIG Deal” Eddie D walk out side by side, Eddie is carrying his ring gear bag and he looks irate, they stop at the top of the entrance way, Jones holds the Belt high n the air and then they walk down to the ring together.

Frank Salazar :The following contest is a six man tag ‘Tables Ladders and Chairs Match’ scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing first, hailing from No Mad, has always been on the road. Coming in at 6’6 and 354 pounds. He is the NEW SWAT World Heavyweight Champion .... Mr Bones .... TRENT JONES!!!!!

And his tag team partner ... hailing from Vernon, California, USA. Coming in at 6’ and 303 pounds .... ‘THE BIG DEAL’ EDDIE D!!!!! THEY ARE ... THE BROTHERS IN ANARCHY!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Look at this team! They were bitter enemies, and then last Battleground, Eddie helped Jones capture the World title! And now, what a combination they form!

Andrew Fulton : They are legit.

Jeremy Tucker : Valentine had a terrific Championship reign, he was a true fighting champion for SWAT! I can’t wait to watch him come back for his belt.

Andrew Fulton : He can come all he likes, Jones is ready for him, he beat him at his own game last week, and you better believe they have all the momentum going into next weeks Anzac Cup.

The arena's lights go off and the fans immediately begin to boo at the top of their lungs as an intense violin song, “Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Sterling starts to play. The man behind the music rises out of an opening in the floor, facing the back rather than the ring. The technician's tights read "SWAT Savior" on the back. His entrance is also heralded by a cloud of smoke forming behind him.

Caffrey turns to face his detractors and has his trademark sinister smile on his face. The arrogant superstar walks down to the ring, ignoring the fans screaming and jeering. He does not break eye contact with tonight's partners as he walks with a laser focus -- at least until he makes it to the ring steps.

Caffrey steps into the ring and moves past his team mates, handing his glasses off to the timekeeper. He looks back at Jones and Eddie and gives them one more sinister smile, ready for what their opponents has to offer..

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from The greatest city in the world -- Philadelphia, PA. Coming in at 6’4 and 223 pounds .... ANOTHONY CAFFREY!!!

Jeremy Tucker : This is a very strange pairing, Caffrey went out of his way to tell them he thought he was above teaming with them, and that he aspires to Jones’ belt, but he has a hatred for the Society, and 110% in particular, and you know what they say, my enemies enemy is my friend and all that.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey is a wrestling Emporer, and a technician of the highest order. He is the Saviour of SWAT!

Jeremy Tucker : Saviour from what?

Andrew Fulton : From the Society for one.

["Strength in Numbers" by the Music starts playing and after a few moments "The Society of the New Breed" flashes onto the screen to which the crowd roar. One by one Jonnie Valentine, Rally Jackson and 110% Syberus walk out on to the stage and stand together to a massive ovation from the crowd.]

Frank Salazar: Now introducing their opponents ... From Manchester England, standing 6' and weighing 232lbs... 110% SYBERUS! From Palm Springs, California, standing 5'10 and weighing 230lbs... "Top Man" JONNIE VALENTINE! From Rio de Janeiro, Standing 6'1 and weighing 300lbs... "The Golden God" RALLY JACKSON!! Together they are THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!!

[The Society all head down the ramp greeting fans along the way some of whom perform bowing motions. Rally and Jonnie climb opposite stairs while 110% Syberus rolls into the ring. They each climb a turnbuckle and soak in the crowd's reaction. Jones, Caffrey and Eddie run at them and each club them in the back with double ax handles.]

Jeremy Tucker : We are under way in this one! Jonnie Syb and Rally sell the ax handles, but then all three grab the turnbuckles with two hands and mule kick Jones, Caffrey and Eddie. An ode to their brother Kilroy Evans there.

Andrew Fulton : This isn’t the Society’s first rodeo, they saw that bum rush coming a million miles away.

Jeremy Tucker : The three members of the Society each then Irish whip the opposition to the ropes and run at them with a triple clothesline!

Andrew Fulton : Jones runs at The Society and Jonnie and Syb catch him with a double hip toss. Caffrey runs at them and he goes sailing with a double arm drag. Eddie D grabs his bag and he charges at Rally Jackson, the two big behemoths colliding like a head on collision.

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie is ‘Steamed’!

Andrew Fulton : I don’t blame him, Rally’s practical jokes in the locker room have gotten way out of hand and he crossed the line earlier.

Jeremy Tucker : Rally is dazed by the collision, and force of will and anger keeps Eddie going, and he swings that bag and clubs Rally with it, over and over and over and over! Eddie is treating Rally like he was his dog and rubbing his face in it.

Andrew Fulton : Rally normally pays for that sort of entertainment, granted its cheap sex workers providing the assistance and not an angry Eddie D.

Jeremy Tucker : Jonnie and Syb laying the boots to Jones, and Caffrey charges Syb and delivers a crunching running forearm elbow. Syb goes sailing over the top rope.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey then locks a waist lock on Valentine. Jonnie reverses it and Caffrey reverses it again and switches it to a full nelson, Trent Jones is on his feet, and he grabs Valentine around the throat and starts choking him while Caffrey is holding onto that Full Nelson, Jones starts screaming in his face that he is the champ now!

Jeremy Tucker : WHAM! Syb back in the ring with a steel chair, and he just about took of the head of Trent Jones with that shot! Jonnie turns Caffrey around in the full nelson so his back is to Syb and Syb thrusts the side of the chair into the back of Caffrey. Caffrey clutches at his back in agony and Syb rams the side now into the ribs of Caffrey, Jonnie holds onto Caffreys arm from the full nelson, and he starts biting the injured hand and Caffrey howls in pain.

Andrew Fulton : Valentine is a savage!

Jeremy Tucker : His hand wouldn’t be injured if he didn’t smash it himself in a wild tantrum after his lose to Syberus last week. Jonnie grabs the chair, and puts the injured hand of Caffrey in it, while Syb mounts the second turnbuckle and jumps off stomping the chair shut right onto Caffreys injured hand.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie D plonks his bag on the mat, he lifts Rally up on his shoulder, and then running powerslams the big man right onto his bag.

Jeremy Tucker : CODEBREAKER! Syb just nailed Eddie D with a Codebreaker. He reaches into his tights and pulls out a set of keys. He puts the key inbetween his fist and cracks Eddie in the face with a big right hand punch and yells at him they are the keys to Eddies bike and he doesn’t deserve a bike and isn’t responsible enough to own a bike and hurls the keys into the crowd.

Andrew Fulton : Trent Jones see’s red and he levels the 110 per center with a huge running big boot.

Jeremy Tucker : Jones then slides out of the ring and grabs a ladder and Caffrey also slides out of the ring, favouring his injured hand, Valentine follows him out of the ring and gives chase and Caffrey tries to allude him moving around the ring and Trent running jousts the ladder into the scone of Valentine.

Andrew Fulton : Caffrey then helps Trent set the ladder up onto the railing and the ring apron and throws Jonnie up to Trent Jones who is now on the ring apron also. Trent lifts Jonnie up for a powerbomb, but Rally makes the save and chop blocks the knee thru the ropes of Jones. Jones collapses favouring the knee and Jonnie as he is coming down counters it into A DDT ONTO THE LADDER!

Jeremy Tucker : Wow! The crowd gong mad for Jonnie! Caffrey was laying in wait though and he grabs the ladder and slams it onto Jonnie. Caffrey then swings the ladder and sweeps the legs of Rally in the ring out from under him.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie motions for a table and Caffrey grabs it and slides it in the ring for him. Eddie then sets up the table and double arm chokeslam bombs Syberus though the table.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey drags Syberus to the ring post and locks on a figure four from outside the ring on him ... SOFT PRETZEL LOCK!!

Andrew Fulton : Valentine breaks the figure four with a running knee to Caffrey. He gets back in the ring and he and Rally grab a half of the ladder each and running clothesline Eddie with it.

Jeremy Tucker : They set up another table and then set up the ladder. Syb hobbles out of the ring, and he grabs Caffrey and LOOOK OUT!!! Syberus just spinebustered Caffrey though OUR announce table!

Andrew Fulton : Holly hell, this one is out of control!

Jeremy Tucker : Jonnie grabs a chair and recklessly throws it at Eddie in the ring. Eddie swats it away, but it hurts his arm doing so, and Valentine delivers a brutal rude awakening neckbreaker on Eddie into a standing chair in the ring! Devastating manoeuvre!

Andrew Fulton : Syb drags big Eddie out of the ring and Jonnie and Rally then double team Trent Jones, clubbing him onto the set up table. Jonnie climbs up the ladder while Rally is holding Trent down on the ladder choking him ... Jonnie leap frogs over the top of the ladder and sails down with a huge leg drop onto the head of Jones which was hanging off the table. Ouch. The table didn’t even break.

Jeremy Tucker : Caffrey helps Eddie on the outside and they double team Syb and double irish whip him into the steel ring post. Syb collapses onto an open ladder and Caffrey then slams the ladder closed on the back of Sybs head, he then rips Syberus’s leg out through a whole in the ladder and locks on the ankle lock! THE PROCESS!!!

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie with a cover on Trent.

Jeremy Tucker : One .....................

Two ................

Eddie D breaks he count pulling Jonnie out of the ring.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie pulls Jonnie up onto a table and drills him with a brutal brain buster the pair of them going thru the table together.

Crowd : HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Jeremy Tucker : Syb is still stuck in the Process and referee Vick Mackey asking if he will submit and he shakes his head no.

Andrew Fulton : The only reason he can possibly still be hanging on is that Caffrey only has one hand applying the hold.

Jeremy Tucker : Trent walks over to a fan in the crowd, a biker fan and the fan hands Trent a weapon, a jar of some kind. That’s Mayonnaise!

Andrew Fulton : Rally with a Rio Special Koppo Kick to Caffrey, makes the save for Syberus!

Jeremy Tucker : Just in time, i can’t imagine Syberus would have lasted another moment in that hold.

Andrew Fulton : Eddie sets his sights on Rally, and rams the head of Rally into the ring apron, again and again and again and again! Eddie then slides Rally into the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : Trent has that jar of mayo and he is lining up Valentine! He is going to crack him with it! But whats this, a young lady just ran out and jumped in front of Trent, protecting Jonnie, and Trent has frozen.

Andrew Fulton :Who is this?

Jeremy Tucker : Is that MOLLY?!

Andrew Fulton : Rally is trying to escape Eddie, he see’s he is enraged and starts climbing a ladder to escape him, Eddie with a low blow catches Rally half way up the ladder and Rallys eyes roll in his head in a very comedic fashion .... HEADACHE FROM HELL!!! (Stunner.) Thru the table!

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie covers Rally. Trent is still frozen staring at Molly (if that is her) and wondering why 1 she is here and 2 helping Valentine.

Andrew Fulton : Cover by Eddie ....

Jeremy Tucker : One ................

Two ................

Syberus and Caffrey are duking it out on wonky feet, .......

THREE!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Eddie got him! He pinned Rally!

Jeremy Tucker : Trent pushes Molly out of the way yelling at her what is she doing. Jonnie pulls her away from Trent and Trent winds up and clocks him with the jar of mayo .... NO!!! Jonnie ducked it and Trent just cracked Molly with that jar and she crumbles to the floor knocked out.

Andrew Fulton : Tuxedo Mask runs down to the ring to check on Rally and Eddie after getting his hand raised tells him to scram. Tux running drop kicks the exhausted man over the top rope.

Jeremy Tucker : The KGB now run down to the run! All of them! We got Timeless and Roxylishus, Frostbite and Joanne Canelli! Team Fairtex! The Hired Killers and James fierce and Paul Soutter and they start stomping on anyone they can see.

Andrew Fulton : What’s this? Here comes Radu and Lucky Linda! They jump at the KGB and start swinging at them and there is Satans Disciples running down to help them.

Jeremy Tucker : Here is Hayden Callahan helping Caffrey double team Syberus! This is insane!

Andrew Fulton : El Combatiente runs out and helps against the Bandits, Javier and Lord Dominicus following, Javier trying to tell him not to get involved.

Jeremy Tucker : Here comes K Jax and Lunchbox Larry! This is madness!

Andrew Fulton : Here comes La Famiglia to join the frey. This is every SWAT Team in the Anzac Cup out here now all brawling!

Jeremy tucker : Folks, we are out of time, we will see you at the Anzac Cup!!!

[SWAT Team]

This was my fav show because it was the first time each match writer only had to do one match each. Something we have been building and striving for forever.

A great team effort.

Thanks to Mosler. Ed. Jonnie. Frostbite. Syb. Trent and Eddie for the help, its really appreciated.

Next show being the tourney is 15 matches so anyone else who can chime in we could really use the help, give me a yell if you're up for a match pls.