The Best Laid Plans [#5/02]
Apr 12, 2020 22:32:23 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 4 more like this
Post by anthonycaffrey on Apr 12, 2020 22:32:23 GMT -5
Anthony Caffrey: Open up, ya jackass.
We see the veteran Anthony Caffrey, standing in front of an iron door. He is dressed in a black leather jacket, red cloth mask, and a pair of jeans, but the most notable thing is that he’s knocking on the door with his left hand instead of his right. His right hand is holding a small bag, but only with three fingers.
A slat towards the top of the door slides open. The camera captures a pair of eyes. A voice with an unusual accent responds to the knocking.
Guard: Who are you?
Caffrey: The next X-Crown champion.
Guard: Go away.
The slat slides closed.
Caffrey, stunned that the door would close on him, shakes his head angrily and bangs on the door again with his left hand.
Caffrey: I have a meeting, you moron! Let me in!
The sigh from the other end of the door is loud enough that it can be heard on this side.
Guard: Don’t try anyzing funny.
Caffrey: What, do I look like a clown to you?
Guard: Yes.
Caffrey: I’ll kick your ass!
Guard: Not if you want your meeting.
We can hear the sound of the door being unlocked. It is slowly pulled open, allowing Caffrey to walk inside.
It takes a moment to adjust to the glow of a hundred torches, but sharp-eyed viewers will immediately recognize the gruff doorman to be, The Industrial Man. More rational fans will recognize that the multi-millionaire robot is probably not hard up enough for cash to be working as a bouncer, and this is no doubt Knockoff I-Man. Despite the pseudo mechanical menace working the heavy door, the rest of the space seems archaic in its pomp, looking like a cross between a Myanmar palace and Bowser’s Castle. Ego stroking gold statues shine in the flickering flames, adding a sense of grandeur, while doing little to downplay a foreboding aura.
Caffrey and the man lock eyes, the two men sizing each other Caffrey is slightly taller, but the man staring back at him has more muscle mass. Caffrey points at him.
Caffrey: You keep your damn distance.
The two men don’t exchange another word as the door guard points him towards a giant demonic face on the second floor. Inside the stone devil’s maw is a blood red door.
Entering the monster’s gullet, Caffrey approaches an oaken desk.
Caffrey: For someone with so much power, I should have planned for you to be a hard man to get a meeting with. Luckily, I come bearing gifts...
Caffrey reaches into a small bag he’s been carrying and pulls out a large bottle. He sets it down on the desk.
Caffrey: Let’s talk business.
Sitting behind his desk, the commissioner of SWAT shoots his biggest star an insincere smile.
Zoran Sainovic: How have you been, Toni? Ze family good? Healthy? Safe? Zat’s fantastic! I’m so relieved to hear it! Have trouble finding ze place? No? Great. Have a seat, pal!
The Final Boss gestures to a chair that is clearly shorter so that Caffrey will have to look up to him. The ploy doesn’t work as Caffrey opts to stand, leaning against the chair with two of his hands gripping the top of it.
Caffrey: Seem to be selling me a little short with this chair, Zoran.
Sainovic: Suit yourself. Sorry to drag you down here, Toni, I’d rather we were conducting zis online – but I find zere are certain nuances zat can get lost in digital communication, and its important zat we iron out an understanding.
Caffrey: Are you just not aware of the whole 'world stopping' pandemic thing going on? Are you really this far locked up in your... castle that you don’t even... ya know what? Fine. Whatcha got for me?
Sainovic: Let me give you ze gist of my general impressions, and you tell me if it tracks water.
Realizing that he’s left out a diorama of a wharf that indicates where to plant C4 to sink it, Zoran quickly removes the incriminating game plan from his desk.
Sainovic: Who do you see as your main zreats in zis venture?
Caffrey: Have you not seen me lately? Heard the podcast from a few days ago? I saw your cute little PowerPoint, maybe ya should spend more time researching your opponents than racking jokes. I am going to do whatever it takes to get this victory. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m entering at #1 or the spot right before yours. I’m aware that this is a mammoth undertaking, and it’s something I’ve been planning for a very long time...
Caffrey smirks.
Caffrey: ...I guess you could say I am ze ‘zreat’.
His smirk quickly shifts into his sinister smile.
Caffrey: But other than me? Storm’s going off his fucking rails right now, trying to politicize this pandemic while racebaiting with lines about bats and watermelons, and yet on top of that, he’s either completely forgetting that I kicked his ass and made him tap or he’s choosing to ignore it. I think he lost his fucking mind after Dillinger beat him.
Caffrey does the “he’s delusional” finger spin.
Caffrey: So that has to be watched for… and maybe Card. Card is a shifty bitch with Cross Recoba in his back pocket.
Sainovic: Zat’s fair. Now, me? If I had to guess, I’d say ze XHF is pretty hot for Death Trap – with my win denying his Eve of Destruction payoff. RAT is ze kind of fossil zat zese kinds of events go crazy for as surprise guest stars. Only reason he actually announced his entry is zat he’s going for broke. Zen zere is us.
Caffrey: A-huh...
Sainovic: Now Death Trap wins zat thing, given ze current state of ze MCCW, and we’ll be having to add ze X*Crown as a DEAD BELT to another collection. Z*Crown has a nice ring to it. Rat takes it, and it goes off to ze AWF for – no offense -another stagnant year. You zought my opponents were unworthy, his first defence will be fucking Draven.
Caffrey breaks his look from Zoran to stare down at the floor, getting audibly lost in his thoughts for a moment.
Caffrey: Fucking Draven.
Caffrey does his best to shake off the thought of Draven cashing in on the AXW Undisputed Championship on his X-Crown reign. He shakes his head and turns back to Zoran, realizing he may have shown more of his hand than he anticipated and that Zoran has done his research.
Sainovic: <eyes narrow> One of us wins? <fiendish grin> Zat’s a different story. I retain, and it would be very difficult to deny you a shot. You win? I’m your boss, no way I’m not getting a rematch. One on one. Ze way a title of zis value SHOULD be defended.
Caffrey: Easier said than done, Zoran. I’ve made enemies the world over, and you…. you think walking in with the Crown doesn’t make you a target? I can hold up my end, and… yeah. You did beat three of the biggest guys in the XHF to win the Crown… granted, not ‘The Best’, but...
Caffrey rubs his chin, thinking.
Sainovic: You have one SWAT show before ze rumble. I know you’re a zreat, but rather zan try to exhaust you in some sort of insanely violent iron man desert death match, I put you in a six-man-tag. A match zat is easy for a talent like you. Does zat sound like I’m trying to hurt your chances?
Caffrey: You say a six-man tag like those assholes aren’t going to be out there trying to make sure I don’t make it into the Rumble in one piece! You’ve got the former tag team champion, the former world champion, and… the other guy… and you’ve introduced tables, ladders, and chairs to the mix. You’re not exactly giving me a Christmas present, Zoran!
Caffrey waves a hand towards Zoran. It’s his bandaged one.
Caffrey: Especially with this right now. I should be healed up by Rumble time, according to ze doctors, but I’m sure you’d love it if one of those jackasses broke my wrist.
Sainovic: Could have been worse. You’re ze one zat’s going to be weathering ze storm of all zose AWF guys you betrayed, Toni. Me? I’m just preying on scraps. I’m confident in your abilities to see you zrough. Beyond zat, zere is one more reason zat I thought it might be in our best interests to put aside any misunderstandings. See its in both our interests to keep ze ‘crown, SWAT. But we both have one other thing hanging over our heads...
Reaching into his desk drawer, The Final Boss produces a picture. A younger Zoran enjoys the company of two SWAT champions in their rookie years. Caffrey notices a striking resemblance between “The Industrial Man” Attila Balan and the tool at the door. Radu Matei is an easier make.
Caffrey: Is that...
Sainovic: Last minute guest stars that dignify ze rumble with zeir glorious presence, but aren’t really committing to winning. I wouldn’t put it past Radu to rain on my parade, nor Jackson fucking Steele for what its worth. Likewise. You dump what you zought were ze final four, what’s to stop Bobby from stealing your moment? I can see it happening now.
Caffrey: Fucking Bobby tried to steal my shining glory last year at Night of Champions… literally switched companies to do it...
Envisioning Bobby dumping Caffrey, the commissioner starts to smile only to stifle it out of respect for his guest. Caffrey’s eyes indicate a racing mind as Zoran continues.
Sainovic: Point is: until we are absolutely certain we’re ze last two men in zat ring, it would behoove us to form an alliance.
Caffrey: Oh.
The look in Caffrey’s eyes indicates that his mind is beginning to race. He has always been the master planner, and he’s seated across a man who’s not only crafted a perfect plan, but has also posted protection at the door he’s locked behind the two men. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.
Caffrey: Well shit.
Sainovic: Of course if you don’t---
Caffrey puts a hand up. He stops leaning against his chair.
Caffrey: Don’t.
He looks over his shoulder, realizing that the man from the door is now standing directly behind him. He nods, realizing that Zoran has him beat in this game of chess.
Caffrey: You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Sainovic.
Sainovic: I knew you were our highest-paid wrestler for a reason.
Caffrey: Just one thing… as we start our new ‘alliance’, as you called it… there’s a piece of parting wisdom I’ll leave you with.
Caffrey turns around and delivers his hard elbow known as the Closing Remarks, knocking the smug Knockoff I-man down to the ground. There is blood as Caffrey shakes out his elbow.
Caffrey: Some things just can’t be planned for.
Zoran leans back in his chair, warm smile fading away with his departing star. Turning his attention back to his photograph, Zoran crumbles the side that Radu Matei inhabits. That’s one problem solved.
______________________________________
[OOC: Special thanks to Mosler for the collab.]
We see the veteran Anthony Caffrey, standing in front of an iron door. He is dressed in a black leather jacket, red cloth mask, and a pair of jeans, but the most notable thing is that he’s knocking on the door with his left hand instead of his right. His right hand is holding a small bag, but only with three fingers.
A slat towards the top of the door slides open. The camera captures a pair of eyes. A voice with an unusual accent responds to the knocking.
Guard: Who are you?
Caffrey: The next X-Crown champion.
Guard: Go away.
The slat slides closed.
Caffrey, stunned that the door would close on him, shakes his head angrily and bangs on the door again with his left hand.
Caffrey: I have a meeting, you moron! Let me in!
The sigh from the other end of the door is loud enough that it can be heard on this side.
Guard: Don’t try anyzing funny.
Caffrey: What, do I look like a clown to you?
Guard: Yes.
Caffrey: I’ll kick your ass!
Guard: Not if you want your meeting.
We can hear the sound of the door being unlocked. It is slowly pulled open, allowing Caffrey to walk inside.
It takes a moment to adjust to the glow of a hundred torches, but sharp-eyed viewers will immediately recognize the gruff doorman to be, The Industrial Man. More rational fans will recognize that the multi-millionaire robot is probably not hard up enough for cash to be working as a bouncer, and this is no doubt Knockoff I-Man. Despite the pseudo mechanical menace working the heavy door, the rest of the space seems archaic in its pomp, looking like a cross between a Myanmar palace and Bowser’s Castle. Ego stroking gold statues shine in the flickering flames, adding a sense of grandeur, while doing little to downplay a foreboding aura.
Caffrey and the man lock eyes, the two men sizing each other Caffrey is slightly taller, but the man staring back at him has more muscle mass. Caffrey points at him.
Caffrey: You keep your damn distance.
The two men don’t exchange another word as the door guard points him towards a giant demonic face on the second floor. Inside the stone devil’s maw is a blood red door.
Entering the monster’s gullet, Caffrey approaches an oaken desk.
Caffrey: For someone with so much power, I should have planned for you to be a hard man to get a meeting with. Luckily, I come bearing gifts...
Caffrey reaches into a small bag he’s been carrying and pulls out a large bottle. He sets it down on the desk.
Caffrey: Let’s talk business.
Sitting behind his desk, the commissioner of SWAT shoots his biggest star an insincere smile.
Zoran Sainovic: How have you been, Toni? Ze family good? Healthy? Safe? Zat’s fantastic! I’m so relieved to hear it! Have trouble finding ze place? No? Great. Have a seat, pal!
The Final Boss gestures to a chair that is clearly shorter so that Caffrey will have to look up to him. The ploy doesn’t work as Caffrey opts to stand, leaning against the chair with two of his hands gripping the top of it.
Caffrey: Seem to be selling me a little short with this chair, Zoran.
Sainovic: Suit yourself. Sorry to drag you down here, Toni, I’d rather we were conducting zis online – but I find zere are certain nuances zat can get lost in digital communication, and its important zat we iron out an understanding.
Caffrey: Are you just not aware of the whole 'world stopping' pandemic thing going on? Are you really this far locked up in your... castle that you don’t even... ya know what? Fine. Whatcha got for me?
Sainovic: Let me give you ze gist of my general impressions, and you tell me if it tracks water.
Realizing that he’s left out a diorama of a wharf that indicates where to plant C4 to sink it, Zoran quickly removes the incriminating game plan from his desk.
Sainovic: Who do you see as your main zreats in zis venture?
Caffrey: Have you not seen me lately? Heard the podcast from a few days ago? I saw your cute little PowerPoint, maybe ya should spend more time researching your opponents than racking jokes. I am going to do whatever it takes to get this victory. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m entering at #1 or the spot right before yours. I’m aware that this is a mammoth undertaking, and it’s something I’ve been planning for a very long time...
Caffrey smirks.
Caffrey: ...I guess you could say I am ze ‘zreat’.
His smirk quickly shifts into his sinister smile.
Caffrey: But other than me? Storm’s going off his fucking rails right now, trying to politicize this pandemic while racebaiting with lines about bats and watermelons, and yet on top of that, he’s either completely forgetting that I kicked his ass and made him tap or he’s choosing to ignore it. I think he lost his fucking mind after Dillinger beat him.
Caffrey does the “he’s delusional” finger spin.
Caffrey: So that has to be watched for… and maybe Card. Card is a shifty bitch with Cross Recoba in his back pocket.
Sainovic: Zat’s fair. Now, me? If I had to guess, I’d say ze XHF is pretty hot for Death Trap – with my win denying his Eve of Destruction payoff. RAT is ze kind of fossil zat zese kinds of events go crazy for as surprise guest stars. Only reason he actually announced his entry is zat he’s going for broke. Zen zere is us.
Caffrey: A-huh...
Sainovic: Now Death Trap wins zat thing, given ze current state of ze MCCW, and we’ll be having to add ze X*Crown as a DEAD BELT to another collection. Z*Crown has a nice ring to it. Rat takes it, and it goes off to ze AWF for – no offense -another stagnant year. You zought my opponents were unworthy, his first defence will be fucking Draven.
Caffrey breaks his look from Zoran to stare down at the floor, getting audibly lost in his thoughts for a moment.
Caffrey: Fucking Draven.
Caffrey does his best to shake off the thought of Draven cashing in on the AXW Undisputed Championship on his X-Crown reign. He shakes his head and turns back to Zoran, realizing he may have shown more of his hand than he anticipated and that Zoran has done his research.
Sainovic: <eyes narrow> One of us wins? <fiendish grin> Zat’s a different story. I retain, and it would be very difficult to deny you a shot. You win? I’m your boss, no way I’m not getting a rematch. One on one. Ze way a title of zis value SHOULD be defended.
Caffrey: Easier said than done, Zoran. I’ve made enemies the world over, and you…. you think walking in with the Crown doesn’t make you a target? I can hold up my end, and… yeah. You did beat three of the biggest guys in the XHF to win the Crown… granted, not ‘The Best’, but...
Caffrey rubs his chin, thinking.
Sainovic: You have one SWAT show before ze rumble. I know you’re a zreat, but rather zan try to exhaust you in some sort of insanely violent iron man desert death match, I put you in a six-man-tag. A match zat is easy for a talent like you. Does zat sound like I’m trying to hurt your chances?
Caffrey: You say a six-man tag like those assholes aren’t going to be out there trying to make sure I don’t make it into the Rumble in one piece! You’ve got the former tag team champion, the former world champion, and… the other guy… and you’ve introduced tables, ladders, and chairs to the mix. You’re not exactly giving me a Christmas present, Zoran!
Caffrey waves a hand towards Zoran. It’s his bandaged one.
Caffrey: Especially with this right now. I should be healed up by Rumble time, according to ze doctors, but I’m sure you’d love it if one of those jackasses broke my wrist.
Sainovic: Could have been worse. You’re ze one zat’s going to be weathering ze storm of all zose AWF guys you betrayed, Toni. Me? I’m just preying on scraps. I’m confident in your abilities to see you zrough. Beyond zat, zere is one more reason zat I thought it might be in our best interests to put aside any misunderstandings. See its in both our interests to keep ze ‘crown, SWAT. But we both have one other thing hanging over our heads...
Reaching into his desk drawer, The Final Boss produces a picture. A younger Zoran enjoys the company of two SWAT champions in their rookie years. Caffrey notices a striking resemblance between “The Industrial Man” Attila Balan and the tool at the door. Radu Matei is an easier make.
Caffrey: Is that...
Sainovic: Last minute guest stars that dignify ze rumble with zeir glorious presence, but aren’t really committing to winning. I wouldn’t put it past Radu to rain on my parade, nor Jackson fucking Steele for what its worth. Likewise. You dump what you zought were ze final four, what’s to stop Bobby from stealing your moment? I can see it happening now.
Caffrey: Fucking Bobby tried to steal my shining glory last year at Night of Champions… literally switched companies to do it...
Envisioning Bobby dumping Caffrey, the commissioner starts to smile only to stifle it out of respect for his guest. Caffrey’s eyes indicate a racing mind as Zoran continues.
Sainovic: Point is: until we are absolutely certain we’re ze last two men in zat ring, it would behoove us to form an alliance.
Caffrey: Oh.
The look in Caffrey’s eyes indicates that his mind is beginning to race. He has always been the master planner, and he’s seated across a man who’s not only crafted a perfect plan, but has also posted protection at the door he’s locked behind the two men. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.
Caffrey: Well shit.
Sainovic: Of course if you don’t---
Caffrey puts a hand up. He stops leaning against his chair.
Caffrey: Don’t.
He looks over his shoulder, realizing that the man from the door is now standing directly behind him. He nods, realizing that Zoran has him beat in this game of chess.
Caffrey: You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Sainovic.
Sainovic: I knew you were our highest-paid wrestler for a reason.
Caffrey: Just one thing… as we start our new ‘alliance’, as you called it… there’s a piece of parting wisdom I’ll leave you with.
Caffrey turns around and delivers his hard elbow known as the Closing Remarks, knocking the smug Knockoff I-man down to the ground. There is blood as Caffrey shakes out his elbow.
Caffrey: Some things just can’t be planned for.
Zoran leans back in his chair, warm smile fading away with his departing star. Turning his attention back to his photograph, Zoran crumbles the side that Radu Matei inhabits. That’s one problem solved.
______________________________________
[OOC: Special thanks to Mosler for the collab.]
