Post by RattyMcDaddy on Apr 26, 2020 23:35:56 GMT -5
We fade in on a lush green area, trees and grass are only disturbed by a double-wide trailer sitting smack dab in the middle of it all. Two figures sitting in front of the trailer can be seen, one widdling wood, and the other drinking a Bud Light, and constantly wiping the what away from his forehead with a rag. White tank tops, slightly soaked in perspiration, you can almost feel the humidity through the screen.
Yo, boy, you saw they posted a card for the FWA season 3 premiere? Guess what though? They dang gum didn't put us anywhere on that lineup. Nothing on there 'bout us in the least or little tiny bit. Has me over here feeling some type of way, like a old 'coon who can't find a trash can to dig through, ya know?
Yep, ya know I seen it all, and I noticed that we were absent from that event, but maybe we need to do something to get put in there. Grab the attention of them big boss men up there in those fancy offices and whatnot. Give them a little razzle-dazzle hick-hop style, show em we are here to compete.
They both look at each other and nod in agreement, then sit in silence for a few seconds. One widdling wood and the other sipping on that Bud Light.
So how do ya reckon we go about doin' that? Maybe have a cookout, invite 'em all over, have Mama and Granny make up some of that Squirrel Burger Surprize? Or maybe we just don't do 'nothin and we show up at this event, make the fans fall in love with us, cause they are gonna love us, and show 'em that we are fat hog fart serious about this?
I mean Squirrel Burger Surprise does sound like it would hit the spot right now, but these are fancy city folk, boy, they got sophisticated tastes and the like. Showin' up uninvited and all just seems rude, and not at all our style, we are respectable southern gentlemen. Dang nabbit' there has to be a something we're missing here.
Back to a few more seconds if silence.
Snap dang it, boy, what if we do one of those fancy promo things like those city slickers Duncan Aries and Blair Sigma did? I mean we don't have the impressive digs like Sigma, but we can come up with a little something something to get our faces out there, ya dig?
We don't have no fancy internet connection with a fancy web page like Aries either, so we are gonna have to get real creative like if we plan to do one of those, but I may just have a plan.
The camera then freezes frames on these two good old boys looking over at each other smirking as a narrator's voice come on, kinda like the Dukes of Hazard TV show from the 1980s.
Well these here boys may not be the smartest, but they have a lot of heart and charisma about them. Just like the song from the movie Jackass says; If your gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough. And tough they are.
The camera zooms in on the fellow drinking the Bud Light, his smirk resembles that of a Cheshire cat, tattoos adorned his face and neck.
This boy here is Harper Brooks, or best known around these parts as Cornbread. He was a good enough kid growing up, did a lot of martial arts classes, and even took home a 3rd place trophy for the entire state. His parents thought that would keep him out of trouble and send him on a good path through life, but they couldn't have been more wrong. Good ol' Cornbread fell in with the wrong crowd here and there, graduating from having a diploma in petty crimes, to having a Master's degree in home invasion. Going to prison was the best thing that could have happened to Cornbread. He found himself behind those bars. Sometimes it takes the bad in people kicking the crap out of them, for the good to come out.
The camera pans over and zooms in on the cheesy smirk of the man sitting next to Cornbread
Speaking of good, this good ol' boy here is William Baker, or better known around these parts as Catfish Billy, on account of when he was a kid, he used to swim to the bottom of lakes, treasure hunting, pulling things like shoes and wallets out. Just like his cousin Cornbread he got wrapped up with the same bad element, serving some time in prison. He spent his days watching wrestling in the common area with other prisoners, and now he strives to be a part of that world.
While these boys may not be the brightest, smartest, most well-spoken, or everyone's cup of tea. They are loyal, genuine, have the hearts, and desire for what they believe in. Having a sports car is nice and all, but having a beat-up pick up truck lets you move bodies or at least help our friends if they need to.
We fade back in with the boys, this time a little more dress appropriate. Both as wearing blue jeans and black Slumarican Tshirts. Leaning against a brick wall it adds a little extra color to the tattoos that cover their arms, necks, and faces.
Cornbread- What's up Fullmetal Wrestling, it's your guy Cornbread, just throwin' out a line to say we're excited to see the card announced for the upcoming 3rd season, and we look forward to getting to know all of you fans a lot better, while you all get to know us a lot better. I'm not going to stand out here and say we are the biggest and baddest guys walking the earth, because that just isn't true. What I am going to say is that we are excited to bring the fans and Fullmetal our exciting, fast-paced Slumerican style of wrestling, because that is true.
Catfish Billy - We get it, we aren't household names as of yet, we don't have fancy highrise apartments or that famous city we're from. What we do have is the want and desire to step out to the ring, event in and event out, and give the fans a reason to say we gave them their hard-earned monies worth. We do have the ability to show Fullmetal Wrestling that they made the right move when they signed the Slumericans. We may not be known now, but by the time we are done, you won't be able to forget us.
Cornbread - We can't wait to make our debut and show the entire world what the Slumericans and Hick-Hop style is all about. From the trailer parks of Gadsden Alambama, to the Alabama State Penitentiary, to FullMetal Wrestling, we're on our way like a Moth to lights, baby. Like a Hog to a Hefer. Like a Kyle to a Monster energy drink.
Catfish Billy- With each stop on our crazy path through life, we get better and better. It's only a matter of time before Fullmetal and the entire XHF network, knows, respects and loves the name Slumericans.
Catfish tugs on his shirt a little bit, making sure the camera sees the logo as the scene fades to black.
Yo, boy, you saw they posted a card for the FWA season 3 premiere? Guess what though? They dang gum didn't put us anywhere on that lineup. Nothing on there 'bout us in the least or little tiny bit. Has me over here feeling some type of way, like a old 'coon who can't find a trash can to dig through, ya know?
Yep, ya know I seen it all, and I noticed that we were absent from that event, but maybe we need to do something to get put in there. Grab the attention of them big boss men up there in those fancy offices and whatnot. Give them a little razzle-dazzle hick-hop style, show em we are here to compete.
They both look at each other and nod in agreement, then sit in silence for a few seconds. One widdling wood and the other sipping on that Bud Light.
So how do ya reckon we go about doin' that? Maybe have a cookout, invite 'em all over, have Mama and Granny make up some of that Squirrel Burger Surprize? Or maybe we just don't do 'nothin and we show up at this event, make the fans fall in love with us, cause they are gonna love us, and show 'em that we are fat hog fart serious about this?
I mean Squirrel Burger Surprise does sound like it would hit the spot right now, but these are fancy city folk, boy, they got sophisticated tastes and the like. Showin' up uninvited and all just seems rude, and not at all our style, we are respectable southern gentlemen. Dang nabbit' there has to be a something we're missing here.
Back to a few more seconds if silence.
Snap dang it, boy, what if we do one of those fancy promo things like those city slickers Duncan Aries and Blair Sigma did? I mean we don't have the impressive digs like Sigma, but we can come up with a little something something to get our faces out there, ya dig?
We don't have no fancy internet connection with a fancy web page like Aries either, so we are gonna have to get real creative like if we plan to do one of those, but I may just have a plan.
The camera then freezes frames on these two good old boys looking over at each other smirking as a narrator's voice come on, kinda like the Dukes of Hazard TV show from the 1980s.
Well these here boys may not be the smartest, but they have a lot of heart and charisma about them. Just like the song from the movie Jackass says; If your gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough. And tough they are.
The camera zooms in on the fellow drinking the Bud Light, his smirk resembles that of a Cheshire cat, tattoos adorned his face and neck.
This boy here is Harper Brooks, or best known around these parts as Cornbread. He was a good enough kid growing up, did a lot of martial arts classes, and even took home a 3rd place trophy for the entire state. His parents thought that would keep him out of trouble and send him on a good path through life, but they couldn't have been more wrong. Good ol' Cornbread fell in with the wrong crowd here and there, graduating from having a diploma in petty crimes, to having a Master's degree in home invasion. Going to prison was the best thing that could have happened to Cornbread. He found himself behind those bars. Sometimes it takes the bad in people kicking the crap out of them, for the good to come out.
The camera pans over and zooms in on the cheesy smirk of the man sitting next to Cornbread
Speaking of good, this good ol' boy here is William Baker, or better known around these parts as Catfish Billy, on account of when he was a kid, he used to swim to the bottom of lakes, treasure hunting, pulling things like shoes and wallets out. Just like his cousin Cornbread he got wrapped up with the same bad element, serving some time in prison. He spent his days watching wrestling in the common area with other prisoners, and now he strives to be a part of that world.
While these boys may not be the brightest, smartest, most well-spoken, or everyone's cup of tea. They are loyal, genuine, have the hearts, and desire for what they believe in. Having a sports car is nice and all, but having a beat-up pick up truck lets you move bodies or at least help our friends if they need to.
We fade back in with the boys, this time a little more dress appropriate. Both as wearing blue jeans and black Slumarican Tshirts. Leaning against a brick wall it adds a little extra color to the tattoos that cover their arms, necks, and faces.
Cornbread- What's up Fullmetal Wrestling, it's your guy Cornbread, just throwin' out a line to say we're excited to see the card announced for the upcoming 3rd season, and we look forward to getting to know all of you fans a lot better, while you all get to know us a lot better. I'm not going to stand out here and say we are the biggest and baddest guys walking the earth, because that just isn't true. What I am going to say is that we are excited to bring the fans and Fullmetal our exciting, fast-paced Slumerican style of wrestling, because that is true.
Catfish Billy - We get it, we aren't household names as of yet, we don't have fancy highrise apartments or that famous city we're from. What we do have is the want and desire to step out to the ring, event in and event out, and give the fans a reason to say we gave them their hard-earned monies worth. We do have the ability to show Fullmetal Wrestling that they made the right move when they signed the Slumericans. We may not be known now, but by the time we are done, you won't be able to forget us.
Cornbread - We can't wait to make our debut and show the entire world what the Slumericans and Hick-Hop style is all about. From the trailer parks of Gadsden Alambama, to the Alabama State Penitentiary, to FullMetal Wrestling, we're on our way like a Moth to lights, baby. Like a Hog to a Hefer. Like a Kyle to a Monster energy drink.
Catfish Billy- With each stop on our crazy path through life, we get better and better. It's only a matter of time before Fullmetal and the entire XHF network, knows, respects and loves the name Slumericans.
Catfish tugs on his shirt a little bit, making sure the camera sees the logo as the scene fades to black.