Trapped in More Than One Way [August 25, 2006]

[Dave D-Flipz]

*We open up in a dark room. The camera is swinging back and forth trying to see. We can tell because the silhouettes cast by the dim gray light coming in from the barred window is shifting. We hear the sound of chains rattling and something being beaten. The sounds in the room change and we hear footsteps and then the sound of leather on wood. The cameraman finally finds an overhead light and pulls the drawstring. AN IRON FALLS ON HIM ... no no this isn't home alone. Instead we see a wooden post on a pivot stand spinning with intense speed. On it are different length petrusions at different heights. Death Trap comes into view doing a pretty intense workout using martial arts and attack and avoid the wooden enemy.*

: You know ... conditioning like mine doesn't come easily. I train like this for hours on end every other day to keep in tip top shape. This is my newest gym. Do you like it?

*The camera pans around. He is locked inside a steel cage with the wooden post, a punching bag, a stationary bike, a treadmill, a benchpress and curling weight set, a blue mat for stretching and martial arts, and of course a private wine cellar.*

: A little new ... er ... old ...er ... something age ... I know but it works out all of my skills. This little guy here is for practicing evasion and counterstrike abilities. The fully articulate sparring dummy there lets me practice to perfection my signature moves and submissions. You wouldn't believe what revolutionary things are come up with in the confines of my ... ahem ... Death Trap.

*He smirks as he continues sparring with the wooden post.*

: See this cage helps me in more ways than one. Right now I'm simulating the environment of what it will be Sunday night when I take out Jason Anderson. See cages don't scare me. Jason you hear that? All your empty threats about being caged with an animal ... mean nothing. Tell me do you even know what a TRUE animal is? Because so many times people think an animal is a beast, like a dog, or a fighter who goes crazy ... like say this ...

*He charges shoulder first into the cage then starts rattling it and assaulting it. He headbutts it a few times drawing a bit of blood before he towels off and smirks. He sits on the bike and starts pedalling*

: But that isn't being an animal. That's being a subhuman beast. See animal isn't a derogatory term. It shouldn't be used to describe rookies who use nothing but brute force, aggression, and adrenaline to counter every problem. An animal is a being that can use ALL of its innate potential as a weapon of deadly force, accuracy, and brilliance. I on one hand am a true ANIMAL. I use everything at my fingertips. I use my full weight and size to throw in the unbreakable submissions and holds. I use my intelligence to wear out a foe and find holes in their game plan. I am not all talk, all force, all counters, all speed, or all any one thing. I am a perfect recipe of a human. Every ingredient carefully measured and added to perfection. See while in the oven of life you are a collapsed piece of crap, I am that perfect souflet that doesn't collapse and stands tall to all things. See it's all about using every tool at your disposal. Sure you can use your size and power, sure you can use your in house weapons. But can you TRULY use the intricacies of every match type to for a perfect match and a victory?

*He stops.*

: Then there's dedication. How dedicated can you be? You didn't answer my insults before Wednesday. Most fighters show up on air from the hospital and say something to show they aren't fazed by what happened. But ... then again maybe you are. Just maybe this response to me smelling the fear, the blood in the water is a defense mechanism to hide your inner fucked up mind. Let's recap. You don't show up until I say you're scared then only stay on long enough to say "Nuh uh" like a three year old. You can't control your temper. And you are not the best at planning and thinking through a strategy. So explain to me how you can compete with a complete fighter like me? How can you put up the kind of match you want to and still play along with the Main Attraction? You see Jason my little friend ... when I said you were trapped ... I didn't simply mean it like you keep thinking. You assume I meant only in the sense of the cell.

*DT stands up and walks to the cage to emphasize his being locked inside.*

: But see I am trapped in this cell and it means jack shit to me. You need to delve deeper, go beyond the obvious, read between the lines, use a bit of intuition! See I know the aspect of a cage won't leave you feeling literally trapped. Since the cell will eventually raise and hell ... HIAC doors are left unlocked so the whole arena can be used so... the whole locked portion really doesn't even play in! But you are going in expecting that just because the match is an extreme match, a hell in a cell ... that you know exactly what you're getting into. But I'm smarter. Just because you have a weapon doesn't necessitate that you can use it properly. You need to know the intricacies of a cell. Like ... if I get you accustomed to it early without wearing you down ... where do I go from there? Or if you slam me through the cell ... you aren't a highflyer, you can't risk a leap ... you have to come get me. In fact I can guarantee that if you put me through the cell roof you won't win it on that move. And my guarantee still stands ... that WHEN I win ... I will make ... you ... tap ... out!

*He gets up and starts taking out aggression on the punching bag.*

: Before you break this main attraction match into an insult-fest with your "Oh he's a dinosaur. Oh he's Just like everyone" and you know generally taking everything about me and saying the opposite then going "OOOOOOh!" And laughing at your own inane jokes ... let's do this like adults. Huh? You ARE currently in possession of a belt ... even if you will lose it Sunday ... try to act your age not your shoe size. I mean kiddy insults? Come on. The fact is that even if you claim I'm a "victim" like everyone else, that doesn't MAKE me everyone else. I am unique and if it takes me kicking your ass around the ring and arena Sunday to show you ... so be it. Here's a fact for you. Sunday night ... you will join the elite ranks ... the elite ranks among the puppets I've crushed. Because after you tap out ... you will bow at my feet and beg for mercy calling my name. After I hold MY title high and suck in my victory ... you will realize the strings holding your title reign together ... have been cut. And then ... when you've lost to a ... ahem "dinosaur" you can go cry to Kanyon who if I'm a dinosaur must be a fucking amoeba from the dawn of time in terms of career. Age and veteran years don't mean loss of skills. Kanyon hasn't lost a step. He can still be less than mediocre and cheat to win like the best of them!

*He stops punching as the bag now has a rip in it*

: At Xtreme Impact we're going to reform you. Mold you into a productive loser. You're going to realize your trust is misplaced, you're going to see that your respect should be directed at TRUE fighters like myself not your buddy Kanyon and his DDK bro. More importantly ... you'll understand ... that being trapped isn't a product of physical obstruction or impeding your motion ... it's about impeding your mental process and luring you ... right into ... your own ... death trap.

*DT pulls out a bottle of fine Italian red wine and pours a glass.*

: I drink to our great match Sunday Jason. And hopefully to your learning some life lessons in humility and wrestling alike. Rule one: never underestimate the value of experience. Here's to your health and luck ... God knows you'll need it because you'll have neither working for you when I'm through.

*DT shuts the lights as he takes a swig of his wine and the camera fades out*