Post by Dave D-Flipz on Apr 28, 2020 10:49:01 GMT -5
*The scene opens up with a familiar song playing. We hear a soft, muffled version of "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria. It seems to be coming from down a path. We hear it steadily increase in volume, don't get me wrong it's still soft, like someone with headphones in and deafening themselves on the train. So typical Boston T rider. We can see we are in a park in a very green area. We must be in Ireland. Suddenly we see a man running down the path towards the camera.*
: Even here?
*He slows to a stop and pants for a moment to catch his breath before guzzling from a Mariners themed reusable metal water bottle. It's water this time, too much product placement would be rude in these promos after the BK and the book plug. Remember DT is Seattle born and bred and once played baseball for the Mariners lowest of minor leagues affiliates so this is fandom not product placement *another ECF deep cut peeps*. He wipes his brow and puts on his bowler hat and finally decides to address the camera.*
: You guys managed to find me on a late night jog in a public park. Is nowhere safe from Mongo's prying eyes?
: No.
: GAH! Funaki where the hell did you come from?
: I was trying to catch up with you. Mongo has cameras go everywhere. Very rich. Likes to flaunt his power. Even hired me back to get inside scoops for End of Days with Nelly performing in MCCW.
: Wait. Your English has gotten remarkably better.
: Yes over the years people have realized that the mock Japanese accent I used when hanging with you and Gravedigger is pretty offensive so I stopped.
: Huh. Almost like we've matured over time *Yes I really felt bad about still making Funaki talk in that broken English since the real guy speaks very good English* Well Funaki, you traveled all the way to Ireland to see me. I have time to kill since I asked Maverick what there was to see in his home town after the match Wednesday. His exact words were, "Fuck off." What have you been up to?
: Nobody at home wants to know what Funaki has been up to. It's boring and probably sad. There is an alternate world somewhere where I run a wrestling academy and do Japanese commentary for a major wrestling federation. But here the brightest thing is President Kanyon. No everybody wants to know about you DT. Your reputation preceeds you in this tournament. It seems like everyone wants to be the one to knock you off. Do you feel like maybe you are the NUMBA ONE in this tournament?
: Whoa I wouldn't say that. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of people who never saw an old timer like me, world champ or not, getting past a monster like Duke Kosloff. And I'm sure there are those shocked to see me get this far. But it certainly wouldn't be outlandish to believe that I am the one to beat now. I'm into the semi-finals and I've been on a run like no other. I have to get through Ai Moe and then still have to fly back to the States again to defend my world title against one of the few guys who has put me down, Jason Justice before the possible finals four days later. I certainly wouldn't think it odd to see my run combined here at EOD and in MCCW these last three weeks and think I'm the favorite but then the wear and tear on me from all these big matches back to back, I certainly can see those who see me falling out somewhere too.
: It has certainly been impressive and good to see the old you back again.
: Whoa whoa I went over that with Duke. I am still a new me. A better me. We don't move backwards Funaki. Moving backwards rarely yields results worthy of putting in a biography. We have to keep moving forward. Charting a path and walking it. I am an older, wiser Death Trap.
: Any luck with the ladies?
: ... No.
: Ah I remember now. Boy sure does make me miss Jimmy Fat. Me and him were a great tag team. Allied Powers. Have you seen him recently?
: No ... no Funaki I haven't. I haven't seen him or my cheating ex-wife. I talk to GD occasionally and he thinks I'm an idiot and wasting my time for ever coming back. Was happy to hear I was champ again though. But other than when I was a bit lost in the head and hanging with the GUNS, who I'm pretty sure still hate me, I try not to keep in touch with many of the people who hurt me, hate me, or were hurt by me. Mongo doesn't even really speak to me. It's you, Nelly, GD, Curtis Kanyon, and any old legends I cross while performing. I can't live in the past Funaki. It isn't ... healthy ...
: And is that why you accepted the spot in this deadly tournament?
: Deadly?
: According to a few competitors including Ai Moe, this tourney kills people.
: That's just absurd, it's wrestling. The closest we had to death here was Michael Storm and he is fine now too. Probably faked everything. Got a cheap win against me a year ago by pretending to be dead. Those Yellowbeards ... er ... Storms ... are never more dangerous than when they're dead. It's a mistaken reputation that I'm betting Mongo uses to bring in the bets and the money and put out the old advertising blitz. I mean it's not like we have matches with electric chairs, matches on shipwrecks, or massive dangerous aliens holding major titles ... ... ...
: Uh ...
: AH! Let ... Let me have this one Funaki. I know Mongo. I just need to believe he isn't THAT insane. The fact is that this is just another tournament for a prestigious prize. A way to put your name on the map and get a shot you deserve. It's all marketing and reputation. See I'm not one to fall for these kinds of tricks. Hell Ai just tried to use the old reputation play to get me to take her lightly. She talks about how she's always underrated and underestimated. Went on this whole rant about my misusing my legend status to steal fans from her. Which is bologna, the fans came back when I started winning and entertaining not a moment sooner. But it's like she said. She is always the underdog, it's how she gets her drive and her focus. She is obviously NOT the underdog all the time, not with that resume. Like I said last time she defeated two former world champs to get here. She is a current champion and has held just this year a lot of titles. I put her over man. I tried to give her the rub....
: Uh ... phrasing?
: Gah ... just ... let me keep talking alright, these innuendos have always been GD's game not mine so give me a break. The fact is she took my glowing assessment of her and tried to spin it like I'm some kind of jerk who doesn't respect the skill she has shown. And you can watch the tape back but I'm pretty sure I complimented her then fumbled into a series of ... ... entendres. I don't like people making me look like a fool or a liar as I am neither. But this ... this is spin. This is her trying to fit the narrative to her style and give her some advantage. She needs to be working from behind, she has to be the spunky underdog against the big bad super power to get the jump she needs from the fans. And I won't have it. I am not going to fall into the trap of taking a multi time champion lightly. It never ends well.
: What about you stealing the spotlight from younger generations.
: Funaki ... that hurts. Last I checked I earned my way to this title and through this tournament. The spotlight is on me because I won it. If the younger generation wants the spotlight, do what I did and go out there and put on a show every match. You've heard Rocco Rose talk about it, how he wants the spotlight and knows he gets it only if he performs. You've seen guys like Kanyon and Bobby who are no spring chickens come in and win the bloody X*Crown title! No the spotlight cannot be stolen, only drawn to worthy causes. I am the Main Attraction for a reason. If you wanna call putting on A+ matches and filling arenas for MCCW harm ... then I dunno how to help you with your obvious problems with reality. I am inspiring the next generation of stars, making them push hard to overcome me. I am making the entire MCCW better just by showing up and selling merch, selling tickets, putting on amazing shows, and teaching these kids the proper way to entertain a crowd.
: Any final thoughts?
: Ai Moe, I showed you respect. I showed you compassion. And you spit in my face. Make me out to be the villain in your story all you want but I represent MCCW as it's only remaining EOD qualifier and it's world champion and I intend to reward that faith. Might I fail? Sure. Might the grind make me sloppy and possibly cost me my title in a spectacularly short reign. ... I suppose. But it's worth it to do my job as the face of the fed right now. Eichi did nothing to help us grow, make people watch our streaming shows. But I do. I make people watch. I go out there and make Aleister Mayfield a household name when his voice comes onto XHF Pay-Per-View. And that old man's heart still burns in my chest and just maybe I want a pass to one more shot at the X*Crown I had so long ago. One last time at the EXTREME pinnacle of the sport. Or maybe I just want a free shot to get this title back when I inevitably DO lose it. Because nobody goes on forever. But if you're willing to die trying in your upcoming loss to me, you can bet I'm willing to do the same to restore MY misplaced reputation. And to set a new one up for my fed. It's like I said against Alexis. My name ... in lights ... top of the marquee. And you ... tapping out to my arsenal of agonizing submissions. See you Sunday.
: That was good, wanna go grab a pint?
: Funaki it's Ireland, it's like 4am!
: ...... Sake and karaoke?
: *Sigh* Just like old times. Fine.
*Fade out*
: Even here?*He slows to a stop and pants for a moment to catch his breath before guzzling from a Mariners themed reusable metal water bottle. It's water this time, too much product placement would be rude in these promos after the BK and the book plug. Remember DT is Seattle born and bred and once played baseball for the Mariners lowest of minor leagues affiliates so this is fandom not product placement *another ECF deep cut peeps*. He wipes his brow and puts on his bowler hat and finally decides to address the camera.*
: You guys managed to find me on a late night jog in a public park. Is nowhere safe from Mongo's prying eyes?: No.: GAH! Funaki where the hell did you come from?: I was trying to catch up with you. Mongo has cameras go everywhere. Very rich. Likes to flaunt his power. Even hired me back to get inside scoops for End of Days with Nelly performing in MCCW.: Wait. Your English has gotten remarkably better.: Yes over the years people have realized that the mock Japanese accent I used when hanging with you and Gravedigger is pretty offensive so I stopped.: Huh. Almost like we've matured over time *Yes I really felt bad about still making Funaki talk in that broken English since the real guy speaks very good English* Well Funaki, you traveled all the way to Ireland to see me. I have time to kill since I asked Maverick what there was to see in his home town after the match Wednesday. His exact words were, "Fuck off." What have you been up to?: Nobody at home wants to know what Funaki has been up to. It's boring and probably sad. There is an alternate world somewhere where I run a wrestling academy and do Japanese commentary for a major wrestling federation. But here the brightest thing is President Kanyon. No everybody wants to know about you DT. Your reputation preceeds you in this tournament. It seems like everyone wants to be the one to knock you off. Do you feel like maybe you are the NUMBA ONE in this tournament?: Whoa I wouldn't say that. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of people who never saw an old timer like me, world champ or not, getting past a monster like Duke Kosloff. And I'm sure there are those shocked to see me get this far. But it certainly wouldn't be outlandish to believe that I am the one to beat now. I'm into the semi-finals and I've been on a run like no other. I have to get through Ai Moe and then still have to fly back to the States again to defend my world title against one of the few guys who has put me down, Jason Justice before the possible finals four days later. I certainly wouldn't think it odd to see my run combined here at EOD and in MCCW these last three weeks and think I'm the favorite but then the wear and tear on me from all these big matches back to back, I certainly can see those who see me falling out somewhere too. : It has certainly been impressive and good to see the old you back again.: Whoa whoa I went over that with Duke. I am still a new me. A better me. We don't move backwards Funaki. Moving backwards rarely yields results worthy of putting in a biography. We have to keep moving forward. Charting a path and walking it. I am an older, wiser Death Trap.: Any luck with the ladies?: ... No.: Ah I remember now. Boy sure does make me miss Jimmy Fat. Me and him were a great tag team. Allied Powers. Have you seen him recently?: No ... no Funaki I haven't. I haven't seen him or my cheating ex-wife. I talk to GD occasionally and he thinks I'm an idiot and wasting my time for ever coming back. Was happy to hear I was champ again though. But other than when I was a bit lost in the head and hanging with the GUNS, who I'm pretty sure still hate me, I try not to keep in touch with many of the people who hurt me, hate me, or were hurt by me. Mongo doesn't even really speak to me. It's you, Nelly, GD, Curtis Kanyon, and any old legends I cross while performing. I can't live in the past Funaki. It isn't ... healthy ...: And is that why you accepted the spot in this deadly tournament?: Deadly?: According to a few competitors including Ai Moe, this tourney kills people.: That's just absurd, it's wrestling. The closest we had to death here was Michael Storm and he is fine now too. Probably faked everything. Got a cheap win against me a year ago by pretending to be dead. Those Yellowbeards ... er ... Storms ... are never more dangerous than when they're dead. It's a mistaken reputation that I'm betting Mongo uses to bring in the bets and the money and put out the old advertising blitz. I mean it's not like we have matches with electric chairs, matches on shipwrecks, or massive dangerous aliens holding major titles ... ... ...: Uh ...: AH! Let ... Let me have this one Funaki. I know Mongo. I just need to believe he isn't THAT insane. The fact is that this is just another tournament for a prestigious prize. A way to put your name on the map and get a shot you deserve. It's all marketing and reputation. See I'm not one to fall for these kinds of tricks. Hell Ai just tried to use the old reputation play to get me to take her lightly. She talks about how she's always underrated and underestimated. Went on this whole rant about my misusing my legend status to steal fans from her. Which is bologna, the fans came back when I started winning and entertaining not a moment sooner. But it's like she said. She is always the underdog, it's how she gets her drive and her focus. She is obviously NOT the underdog all the time, not with that resume. Like I said last time she defeated two former world champs to get here. She is a current champion and has held just this year a lot of titles. I put her over man. I tried to give her the rub....: Uh ... phrasing?: Gah ... just ... let me keep talking alright, these innuendos have always been GD's game not mine so give me a break. The fact is she took my glowing assessment of her and tried to spin it like I'm some kind of jerk who doesn't respect the skill she has shown. And you can watch the tape back but I'm pretty sure I complimented her then fumbled into a series of ... ... entendres. I don't like people making me look like a fool or a liar as I am neither. But this ... this is spin. This is her trying to fit the narrative to her style and give her some advantage. She needs to be working from behind, she has to be the spunky underdog against the big bad super power to get the jump she needs from the fans. And I won't have it. I am not going to fall into the trap of taking a multi time champion lightly. It never ends well.: What about you stealing the spotlight from younger generations.: Funaki ... that hurts. Last I checked I earned my way to this title and through this tournament. The spotlight is on me because I won it. If the younger generation wants the spotlight, do what I did and go out there and put on a show every match. You've heard Rocco Rose talk about it, how he wants the spotlight and knows he gets it only if he performs. You've seen guys like Kanyon and Bobby who are no spring chickens come in and win the bloody X*Crown title! No the spotlight cannot be stolen, only drawn to worthy causes. I am the Main Attraction for a reason. If you wanna call putting on A+ matches and filling arenas for MCCW harm ... then I dunno how to help you with your obvious problems with reality. I am inspiring the next generation of stars, making them push hard to overcome me. I am making the entire MCCW better just by showing up and selling merch, selling tickets, putting on amazing shows, and teaching these kids the proper way to entertain a crowd.: Any final thoughts?: Ai Moe, I showed you respect. I showed you compassion. And you spit in my face. Make me out to be the villain in your story all you want but I represent MCCW as it's only remaining EOD qualifier and it's world champion and I intend to reward that faith. Might I fail? Sure. Might the grind make me sloppy and possibly cost me my title in a spectacularly short reign. ... I suppose. But it's worth it to do my job as the face of the fed right now. Eichi did nothing to help us grow, make people watch our streaming shows. But I do. I make people watch. I go out there and make Aleister Mayfield a household name when his voice comes onto XHF Pay-Per-View. And that old man's heart still burns in my chest and just maybe I want a pass to one more shot at the X*Crown I had so long ago. One last time at the EXTREME pinnacle of the sport. Or maybe I just want a free shot to get this title back when I inevitably DO lose it. Because nobody goes on forever. But if you're willing to die trying in your upcoming loss to me, you can bet I'm willing to do the same to restore MY misplaced reputation. And to set a new one up for my fed. It's like I said against Alexis. My name ... in lights ... top of the marquee. And you ... tapping out to my arsenal of agonizing submissions. See you Sunday.: That was good, wanna go grab a pint?: Funaki it's Ireland, it's like 4am!: ...... Sake and karaoke?: *Sigh* Just like old times. Fine.*Fade out*
